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theavatarandthefirelord · 4 months

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zukaang for the ask game

Thanks for the ask, anon! Also you made my day because I rbed the ask game (both here and on @chocomd) really really hoping that someone would ask me about Zukaang 😂

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

I'm pretty new to the Zukaang ship, but I've loved their relationship ever since I first watched ATLA in 2021. Then I got into fandom mostly for Kataang, but Zukaang always pulled at me. After a while I could see Aang and Zuko together romantically, but I never quite shipped them...until I started writing Zukaang into fic. The first time was in a Kataang fic, when they were so close (but still only friends) that people mistook them for a couple. And then last month I wrote a short fic, Nebulous Roads, that actually WAS romantic Zukaang...and yeah I became obsessed. It's like I've been peering over the edge at Zukaang for the longest time and someone finally pushed me in 😂

my thoughts:

Every enemies-to-lovers ship wants what Zukaang has!!! I'm not even talking about the infamous z.tara...I'm talking any ship, any fandom. Narrative foils who are uniquely isolated in their lonely destinies, connected to each other spiritually, antagonists even in their past lives, destined to meet again as enemies only to heal the world as friends, each one bearing scars that carry such emotional baggage, they give each other hope even while they're enemies, the way they are perfectly yin and yang...ugh I could go on.

So I find a lot of enemies-to-lovers ships not very compelling because the "enemies" part is either watered down or they hate each other so much that the ship isn't convincing (to me), plus I need more than chemistry to ship a pair. But Aang and Zuko were truly enemies and the animosity between them wasn't watered down (Zuko sincerely did try to harm or kill Aang lmao), but they grew to see each other as something more and were actually drawn to each other, and their path to becoming friends in canon is done so amazingly well. And while some of their romantic tension comes from their chemistry as antagonists, it's WAY more than just "argue/fight then kiss because I think you're hot." Anyway, enemies-to-lovers generally isn't my thing, but wow does it work for Zukaang!

What makes me happy about them:

The healing that Aang and Zuko find in each other. The rupture between them started with Roku and Sozin and with the Fire Nation wiping out the Air Nomads, and ends with Aang and Zuko finally closing that rift and bringing peace to the world together. Plus all of the trauma they both went through in their own lives mirrors the other like yin and yang mirror each other (and yet they each possess a piece of the other), and the way they find healing in each other makes my heart ache in the best way 🥺

What makes me sad about them:

That it's challenging for them to openly be together in the canon ATLA world (which I am very attached to since the canon story is what drew me into the fandom in the first place). Even if Kataang and Maiko didn't exist, there would be major political consequences if the post-war world found out that the Avatar and the Fire Lord were in a relationship. Plus there's the fact that Zuko needs to continue his family line, and Aang would need to find a way to bring back the airbenders (although I can see him giving up that particular task to the universe to figure out). I'm also very attached to Kataang, my other ATLA otp, and I don't love the idea of cheating in either relationship, so a world where both Kataang and Zukaang might exist would be very complicated...although I do have a solid idea for a fic that includes both ships (and it's not Zutaraang lol).

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Not something that annoys me exactly, but a lot of fics seem to focus on Aang being there for Zuko's needs, and less so the other way around. And I get that, because Zuko is kind of a mess lmao. But Aang is human before he is anything else, and he has suffered both emotional isolation and unimaginable loss. Relationships aren't transactional, but I have a hard time seeing Aang in a romantic relationship with someone unless his own emotional needs are met as well - and I would love to see more of this in fic!

things I look for in fanfic:

I love fics that explore Aang and Zuko's connection in a way that pulls on the things that make Zukaang...Zukaang. I love their intensity, their tenderness, the history between them that stretches from the present and all the way back into the past one hundred years, how they can't stay away from each other even if they tried.

I also love fics that aren't afraid to explore the things that make their relationship complicated. What does it mean for the Avatar, the last airbender, to be in a relationship with the Fire Lord, the scion of the dynasty that committed the Air Nomad genocide and started a worldwide war? This would make for a lovely political and social mess, at the very least. And what about the fact that Zuko was indirectly involved in Aang's death in CoD and sent an assassin after him to make sure he stayed dead? There's so much to explore even with this point alone - how would the past haunt them while they're still figuring out their relationship? Or even when they've been together for years? (Btw I'm firmly in the camp that Zuko really was That Bad because his character needs that for his redemption and for the ATLA story to work.)

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Aang with Katara; Zuko with Mai (or Jet, though it probably wouldn't last lol)

My happily ever after for them:

Hmmm...for those who know my taste in stories and fic, I am very ok with not having a happy ending and sometimes that's what I prefer. HOWEVER. My happy ending for Zukaang is that their relationship in the canon ATLA world would be complicated and they can't fully be together (because we're following canon here). But after they both die, they are reincarnated, and 1000 years later they find each other again - not as the Avatar and the Fire Lord, but as two people without such heavy expectations riding on their shoulders, who can freely share their lives together at last. (This is happy I guess? But sad before it gets happy? 😅)

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

They would take turns being the big spoon! I ship them when they're older, so Aang is a little taller and loves being the cuddler. Sometimes it's Zuko, especially when he just wants the reassurance of holding Aang in his arms 🥺

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

They would get into some silly shenanigans 😂 Like riding an air scooter together with their eyes covered or have dumb contests like "bet you can't do this without bending" lmaooo

send me an ask about a ship or character, or 5 characters you want me to rank!

#ask game #anon ask #chocomd answers #zukaang #I did not mean for this get so long lmao #too many thoughts I guess 😅#zukaang thoughts

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amortentiainmyfirewhiskey · 1 year

Text

|marrón pt.2|

post-azkanban sirius x reader

wc: +2k

Part: 1 pt.3

(Y/N) awoke to the sound of the kids stomping down the stairs, probably already dressed and having breakfast before leaving to go to Diagon Alley. She rolled out of bed and drug a tattooed hand over her face before looking at the clock that said 7:32 am. Oh hell no. There was no way in hell she was getting dressed this early, she didn't care who's house she was in.

The (y/h/c) stood and glanced at herself in the old dresser's mirror, it wasn't like she was wearing anything inappropriate; she supposed the only thing Molly might frown on would be the fact you could see her thighs, that again, were covered in tattoos, but she didn't care.

There was no color in her tattoos, just skin and bold black ink. She had begun getting them officially at 16, if you didn't count the stick and pokes her and Vesta would give each other at thirteen during their time at Ilvermorny.

(Y/N) glanced at the faded shape of a penis on the inside of her elbow and grinned, they were fucking stupid, huh? Though the memory was light, her heart grew heavy at the reminder Vesta wasn't there anymore, somewhere better hopefully.

But how the hell would she know?

Not a moment later she trudged down the stairs and stopped in her tracks when her hand landed on the doorknob to the kitchen. She made sure to pull down her shorts as much as she could and fix her shirt to make sure her bra wasn't showing. I mean they were kids.

" Good morning, squad!" she announced as soon as she swung the door open. The occupants of the room jumped about a foot in the air and did a double take when they saw her. She knew it wasn't because she wasn't dressed for the day or something stupid like that, she knew it was because they had never seen her without a leather jacket or jeans.

Yeah, she had some pretty tattoos, but she had some that were a bit more colorful. Next to the roman numerals that represented Kumiko's birthday on her forearm was a simple drawing of a hand presenting its middle finger proudly. On her upper arm was a beautifully drawn compass pointing West in honor of Connor's last name, and underneath was 'SLUT' written in pretty cursive. She had plenty like that.

" Woah," said a once tired Tonks who now looked wide awake, " How many do you have?"

(Y/N) looked to the table to see all the room's occupants looking at her with astonished expressions. Her throat tightened and an anxious shiver shot down her spine, but she managed to compose herself and smirked, " Couldn't tell ya," she chuckled.

When was the last time this nonchalant way of acting felt normal? When was the last time her witty remarks made herself laugh? She couldn't tell ya.

Even in the morning Grimmauld place's kitchen felt cold, dark, and stuffy, " I've been getting them since I was sixteen, " she added grabbing a coffee mug. " What's that one mean?" asked Mr. Weasley.

(Y/N) was surprised when he asked, and it looked like everyone else was as well. The older man had the decency to look a little embarrassed, " Well it's a creature I've never seen before!" he said defending himself with his arms crossed. (yn)'s nose scrunched up in confusion when it dawned on her what tattoo he was referring to.

She looked down at the old faded stick and poke she had forgotten about on the side of her right knee to see Woodstock, Snoopy's friend, staring straight ahead. She burst out laughing at the realization and when Hermione, Harry, and the other half-bloods figured out what she was laughing at they too joined in, leaving the purebloods confused and squinting at her knee.

After the commotion settled down, she plopped down next to Tonks and ate her share of breakfast as Mrs. Weasley rolled out the itinerary for the day. She could feel the teens glancing toward her every now and then, she was flattered by their curiosity but also a little disturbed.

A year ago, she would have gotten off on the attention but now she wanted to crawl under a rug rather than explain her life to a couple of teenagers.

“ It must be interesting being an auror in the states,” said Ron finally, unable to contain his enthusiasm.

She looked up from her eggs and shrugged, “ It was,” she began, “ But for the most part it was kind of a bummer,”

The rest of the room driven by this response looked to her, completely ignoring Mrs. Weasley, “ How so?” asked Harry, practically on the edge of his seat.

(yn) frowned and set down her fork, “ I was in the boroughs of New York, y’know Queens, the Bronx, Manhattan, Staten Island, and Brooklyn. You meet some people in some bad situations, but they’re not necessarily bad people.”

“ A lot of wizards and witches involve No-Mag’s in their business, a lot of No-Mag kids too. . .” she paused, thinking about the bastards who would replicate No-Mag money and pay kids to sell shit for them or be fucking mules for them.

“ You can find a bunch of poor people in New York who are willing to do anything for money, just so they can eat or by some coke,” she paused and looked at Harry in particular, “ Anyone who considers being an auror has to be able to stomach some seriously horrific things,” she said, “ But if you can help one more person it’s worth it,”

She tried to lighten the mood with a soft smile and a lighthearted story, “There was this one kid, Jake Mariano, he was a First-Gen, Muggleborn, he thought he could do telekinesis or something. He was stealing all sorts of things money, bikes, stereos, gum- anything. Kid thought he was slick until he tried to lift my cigarettes off me,”

The teens seemed to feel better after she told them about how she smacked the kid upside the head and took him back to his mom who was about to call the government on him. He was now a second year at Ilvermorny and doing fine.

So caught up in her story she failed to notice a hung over Sirius coming in, he stayed by the door and listened to her story. He watched as the corners of her lips tilted upwards and how her brown eyes melted as she spoke of the boy who she helped navigate his way into the magical world.

Sirius could tell she genuinely cared about the kid and the people she had helped, but what he couldn’t figure out was why she would quit doing something she so obviously loved.

When (y/n) finished her story, she noticed him. Her eyes widened slightly and a bashful smile found its way to her face, “ Morning,” she said.

“ Morning,”

After the kids left her, Sirius, and Tonks were left alone until Remus came by to get Tonks for duty and then they were left by themselves. It was a weird silence, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t comfortable. Maybe tense was the word.

It was a tense she was all to familiar with. It wasn’t aggressive or sad- this shit was sexual.

The way his eyes would flick to her breasts before looking away quickly as if he were berating himself for doing so lit her the fuck up. But she wouldn’t let on that she noticed.

“ Nice story,” he said with a small smile, and she about combusted right there.

(Y/N) shrugged, “ Nice kid,” she replied before taking another sip of coffee, “ What are you up to today, hm?”

“ Jack shit,” he grumbled, his mood growing dark at once. This would usually throw someone off and have them shrinking back into themselves but (yn) just nodded.

“ Join the club,” she sniggered, “ Dumbledore is still feeling me out I guess you could say, they don’t trust me to go off on my own,”

Sirius’s mood shifted once again, “ Yeah, couldn’t imagine why,” he said cheekily, “ Nothing odd like an ex-auror in a secret line of work agreeing to come across halfway across the world to work with a bunch of strangers,”

The (yhc) laughed, “ You got a point there, Mr. Black,” she agreed silkily, looking at him through her dark lashes.

Sirius raised an eyebrow in her direction. He knew she wasn’t saying mister as a sign of respect, she was flirting, and by God he was too.

The morning was spent with talk of Ilvermorny and Hogwarts, both were careful not to mention friends and more sensitive topics. Sirius knew she understood why he didn’t mention his friends, but he couldn’t for the life of him understand why she didn’t mention hers.

What happened to her?

Who was she?

Later in the day she went out to pick up groceries for Molly and Sirius found himself sitting in the den, drink in hand smoking a cigarette. Remus came in and frowned at his choice of habit but said nothing, settling in the dark leather chair beside him.

The den like the rest of the house was decked out in green and silver, but instead of millions of portraits the walls were lined with bookshelves and a single cherry wood desk.

“ Remus, what do you think of (yn)?” asked Sirius looking up at the werewolf.

The graying man sighed and rested his chin on his fist, “ I think she’s hiding things but nothing deatheater related-,”

“ Thank you!” shouted Sirius vigorously pointing to him with the hand that was holding his whiskey, “ What do you think it is? I mean-,”

“ -and,” interrupted Remus, “ I think she’s inappropriately interested in you.”

Sirius set down his glass and stared at Remus, “ Really?” he said, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of his voice but failing dismally.

Remus gave him a hard look and the pureblood deflated, “ Oh c’mon Remus!” he groaned, “ I wouldn’t touch her, scout’s honor!” he said placing his hand over his heart.

Remus let out a long sigh, “ I will say she is very attractive, funny, but far too young,” he said pointedly

Sirus rolled his eyes and said nothing else.

After dinner everyone went into the living area and had a bottle of butterbeer or a firewhiskey, “ Okay okay,” laughed Ginny, “ Never have I ever jumped out of a window and onto a broom, “

The twins, (y/n), and Sirius threw back their drinks while the room, sans Molly laughed, “ When did this happen?!” she shouted with her hands on her hips while her husband chuckled behind his paper.

“ Mmmm second year,” said George, “ Something to do with Filch I believe,”

Fred nodded, “ Yeah, we put Mrs. Norris in an enchanted bucket, some elementary prank I do believe,”

The room erupted with laughter once more and when (y/n) caught her breath she spoke, “ My friend and I pissed off one of the pukwudgies at school, Clarence, and Clarence starts shooting at us with his dud arrows to mark us. . .” she stopped at the rooms concerned faces, “ Let me clarify real quick, basically giving us a detention slip with an arrow that doesn’t pierce your skin,” The room let out a unanimous ‘oh’ and she continued, “ We had let a flock of geese in the main gym or something and we had the brooms waiting for us at the window- but the thing was Clarence had a southern accent,” she chortled.

“ He was like ‘ C’mon back ‘ere you lil piss aints!”’ she mimicked,” Oh God!” she gasped.

The room laughed with her and a few minutes later Mrs. Weasley announced it was time for bed. The kids cleared out and soon Tonks and Remus were leaving for duty.

Once again it was just the two of them, the only thing separating them was a cushion Tonks had been sitting on. They stared into the fire and drank.

“ You always say friend,” began Sirius, causing her head to whip around to look at him, “ You never say their name, why?”

He hoped he wasn’t overstepping but he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to know her so badly. But he didn’t know why, there were plenty of mysterious people in the order, maybe it was her charisma, or maybe it was the fact she seemed like him.

A shell of her former self.

(Y/N) was silent for a moment, looking down at a tattoo that held music notes, “ Yeah. . . the one in the story was Stephen. . . Stephen Garcia,” she said with a tight smile, “ He was one of my bestfriends,”

Sirius felt his stomach drop, “ I’m sorry I shouldn’t-

“ No it’s okay, it felt good to talk about him,” she chuckled, “ He was one of a kind, they all were,”

She looked around and flicked her wand at the door to lock it, “ Here, and don’t freak out I’m wearing a tank top,” she laughed when Sirius’s light eyes widened when she began lifting up her shirt.

Her tattoos were as prominent as they had been in the morning, but now her (yst) was bathed in the warm light of the fire and Sirius’s mouth was suddenly dry as he beheld her form in front of him.

“ The compass is for my friend Connor, his last name was West so it points that way,” she said pointing to her upper arm, “ And this one on my thigh is the chorus to Stephen’s favorite song,” she explained, “ And the arrow across my hip is for Vesta because she was a fucking badass with a bow,” she grinned slightly pulling down her joggers to show him.

“ This one is Kumiko’s birthday with a big ole fuck you underneath because that bitch was small but she could put you in your goddamn place,”

When she finished Sirius stood, placing his glass down, he got closer, “ They’re beautiful,” he said.

(Y/N)’s heart was hammering in her chest, “ Yeah they are,” she said meeting his eyes. The world seemed to stop for a moment before he placed his hand on her shoulder and drug his thumb across her collarbone and parted his lips slightly, “ And this one?”

She smiled. The one he was touching was her simple ‘1920′ tattoo, “ For the woman who raised me,” she murmured, allowing him to take a step closer and place another hand on her hip.

(Y/N) was finding it hard to function and she wanted nothing more than for him to pull her to him and kiss her until she was gasping for air. She wanted him to take her over the goddamn ottoman, fuck the other people in this house she really didn’t fucking care.

He hesitated when he was three inches from her face, “ I. . . I can’t,” he said reeling away and retreating to the door. Leaving her alone ...and horny.

Taglist: @notyourfuckingbusinesss

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #post azkaban sirius #post azkaban sirius x reader

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frostbite-the-bat · 2 months

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no but genuinely. i love shadow filbo dearly. he means a lot to me.

he marks a time for me where i began embracing what i like just... for the sake of it!

he embodies the things that inspired me to draw online in the first place. hell, sparklecat characters with bangs have made me stop cutting my hair. i haven't cut my hair properly since. just because i wanted the same bangs, not knowing how hair works. now i have what is best described as messy fluttershy hair. to many people just how long my hair is, is what defines me when they see me and my hair is in a way special to me.

and again - he was what inspired me to draw. in class i'd be drawing my own sparklecats at the age of like 8, with bangs and wings and little companions that sit on clouds that rain hearts. (and bolts and skulls when ANGRY!)

i put rainbows on everything. i thought nyan cat was the embodiment of everything good in the world. i listened to nightcore versions of songs only. i say, as i am listening to nightcore, right now.

because of all these old classic animation memes and sparklefurs and silly scene and emo song flash animations i'd find... i'd pick up ms paint and draw. i imagined just how i'd animate, finding even the simplest methods absolutely mesmerising. there is something to be said about me being this young with internet access - because it very much so had it's negative effects. not me watching fetish videos at the age of 8 just because it had pokemon in it. yea that did not have any lasting effects.

but despite all this shit - it raised me! and even just a few years later... like.. 2015 when i began posting online on deviantart for the first time, not being just a lurker... learning how The Computer works better - not only drawing on paper anymore and gaining more and more interest towards digital art... i was already nostalgic towards these earlier days. but still living IN it, y'know?

just having fun, doing my own thing! isn't that what art is all about?

well. then the cringe culture nation attacked. severe bullying at school. and in general, just shame - which i am still fighting in certain aspects. but it's a bit more complicated than just "shame". (more so fear of Things.)

i'd look back at things with either genuine "cringe" or a distaste. how DARE these people have fun? because deep down, i was simply jealous.

if i was going to reference anything old like this, like classic animation memes, it was framed as "JOKE" "NOT SERIOUS" because i feared i would be harassed, made fun of, or people would thing THAT is the best of my artistic abilities. but... it's not like that.

and now, more and more people are embracing this. and it makes me so happy. and shadow filbo helped me fight off these fears a lot and just let me love what i love and be myself.

maybe it's not an ""aesthetic"" that completely defines me, maybe it IS a tik tok trend to do nowadays - but i don't care. without any of this i wouldn't be here. those were my first inspirations. silly colorful cats animated to crunchy mp3s of songs using movie maker and 3 (three!) frames drawn in ms paint. it had so much charm. it had so much genuinity. and i could feel it even back then.

without it i might've not been here as i am now. there are so many things that go into this, of course. but i simply would not be the exact way i am. and i dunno. that's something to think about.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. one "mistake" with you i've had was thinking i should be a good creator of something and respond to every fan and fanart, which only stressed me out. i have... opinions! about being recognized in various places and, as some dub, a "NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY" (nothing against you fox </3).... yeah! not a fan.

another mistake was dubbing him as a "joke" always. and... he is! he is humorous! i am a jokey person! i like crunchy shitposts! i like being the reason people laugh! i will go to certain levels to even ridicule myself just for the bit, and i don't mind it. i'm hyper(active) and i am just a jokey person, that's that. but... him being called a joke was honestly just a shield from people taking him too seriously.

if people were to mock me for being nostalgic for nightcore, and rainbows, and edgy amvs, sparkledogs, scene culture and clothes, rave songs... all this!

but... no! people loved it! people loved it so much, it moved THEM to create art!

me, referencing things that made ME inspired to draw all those years ago - then inspired OTHERS to draw other things. to embrace themselves. to have fun. to connect.

it means so much to me. it's a bit odd to comprehend, too.

but it means the world to me. sorry if i am ever annoying about shadow filbo, and is often the first thing i bring up when bugsnax is brought up - but he is the highlight of my experience with bugsnax.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. and me and my wretched little claws, of course. for making them. and those that inspired me. those old friends i lost along the way, too. and those, that inspired those that inspired me. and so forth.

thank you.

#shadow filbo #important #<- i just don't want to lose this mess of a ramble.#i could add so #so much #but i'm not going to otherwise i'd have several long tangents. especially mixing like. queerness and growing up trans and a furry and then #nonhuman shit into this #and the bullying thing. and being in a country thats... yea. where theres even less people like you #finding a home in places like this. yeah. (happy kinda yea)

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arayashikiii · 10 months

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Grunge

I'm usually chill when I use English, but I kinda messed up this time… Sorry about that.

So, this post is basically a translation of the Korean post you can find in this link.

Initially, I was all calm and composed while translating, but in the end, I couldn't keep it together.

If Urasawa offed Grimmer in the story because their chemistry was just too good to handle? Maybe Urasawa didn't know what to do with them. Like, imagine if everything got resolved and Grimmer survived; they'd totally grab that beer they promised each other, right? And they'd probably realize how similar their pasts and issues are, becoming BFFs in no time with a "You too? Same here." kinda vibe.

So what would be next for them? Runge would ditch the BKA and tag along with Grimmer on his globetrotting adventures, right? Picture Grimmer, slinging a huge bag over his shoulder, turning to Runge (who's rocking some comfy casual wear instead of his usual suit) and asking, "You ready?"

This could've been the ultimate queer ending, so I can't help but suspect that Urasawa was like, "Nope, can't let that happen," and had Grimmer bite the dust. I've been ranting about this to my fellow Monster-loving friends since last year, and now that we're halfway through 2023, I'm still going strong, even translating this into English and posting it on Tumblr. It's just… my heart is so heavy…

I kinda feel like Urasawa is way too into preserving the hetero norm and the whole family thing, which rubs me the wrong way… Sure, it was nice to see Runge regain his humanity and reconnect with his daughter, but taking Grimmer away from him was just cruel. What's so wrong with Heinrich Runge starting fresh with another man? It's like Runge's boyfriend got stolen by the Creator himself… snatched away as soon as they met… How am I supposed to deal with that? I know, of course, that there's a reason why Grimmer was died, and I know that it's the same reason why Johan's real name wasn't revealed… But still, that's not enough…

My inner overinvested otaku is seriously losing its mind over this.

But seriously, if Grimmer had lived and been with Runge, he might've actually gotten his name back… I have no doubt Runge would've played a huge part in helping Grimmer find his true name…

And can I talk about how hilarious it is that Runge was one of the people begging Vardemann to prove Grimmer's innocence in Another Monster? It makes sense for Tenma and Suk, but Runge too? Is it funny or just… I dunno, when I read that part, I couldn't help but think that Runge had some low-key love for Grimmer and held out hope for him. Why else would he care so much about someone he only knew for a day or two?

As someone kinda similar to Runge (which sounds weird, I know), I'm pretty sure he fell hard for Grimmer at first sight. Runge might've seemed chill around Grimmer in Ruhenheim, but deep down, he was shook and amazed. Like, "There's actually someone like this out there?" But it wouldn't have been easy for Runge to acknowledge those feelings, and he might not even have realized it. So he played it cool and treated Grimmer like usual, all the while being super drawn to him. Basically, Runge fell head over heels for Grimmer right away and found a glimmer of hope. If I had to put that hope into words, it'd be: Maybe with this person, I could discover something totally different from everything I've experienced so far.

Yeah, that's the kind of faint yet powerful hope…

But the cold, uncaring Creator… that heartless Creator ripped Grimmer away from Runge…

아 영어...영어 어려워.........

#naoki urasawa's monster #wolfgang grimmer #heinrich lunge #heinrich runge #grimmer x lunge #I'm completely burned out

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7grandmel · 4 months

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Todays rip: 27/12/2023

Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options

Season 1 No Album Release (Read More) Options - Mr Rental: The Video Game

Ripped by NBGMusic

youtube

Yeah, I missed yesterday's post. My bad - you're getting two posts today instead. For such an occasion, I wanted to feature two rips of vastly different sides of the SiIvaGunner spectrum. And, well, I feel like it's been a while since we've covered something truly deranged and out-there, hasn't it? Excluding Your Rip's Shit, Mr. Grinch, which arguably does count, the last time we truly went into the trenches of SiIvaGunner's absurdity was, like...waterwraith pokos from a month ago? Regardless, its time we drop all this Christmas spirit for just a second and reminisce upon the true best SiIvaGunner story arc - the Mashup Crusaders arc.

The strange name of today's rip, Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options, is one that I promise does make sense in the storyline's context. Though Season 1 is many things good and bad, one thing it will always have over the channel's later years is that air of surprise and experimentation, with tons of independent ripper-driven passion projects and shitposts coexisting with few things actually planned for the channel's long-term future. That's part of how I've been able to feature so many memorable rips from the Season despite its short 9-month run and often underwhelming rip quality, how we got excellent rips like Collision Chaos Good Future JP [CD Beta Mix] and Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday - as performed by Bob Dylan, and indeed how we eventually arrived at the Mashup Crusaders arc. Born from the mind of one NBGMusic and based loosely on the meme-happy qualities of the Mr. Rental Facebook page of 2016, it was a series of rips follow two different incarnations of the aforementioned character across two different games. And while one was a lighthearted spoof of the Looney Tunes series, of what I'm going to unofficially label the "A-Side" of the story, it was the B-Side that immediately grabbed people's attention.

Indeed, though the Mr. Rental seen within the A-Side story was a kind soul, with his rips depicting him helping SiIvaGunner's memes good form and aids in ripping, the B-Side depicted a destructive, chaotic force of nature, in a fully animated and "voice acted" MS Paint-drawn world. Mind, this was long before the Christmas Comeback Crisis, and just after The Reboot had ended - the "Mr. Rental: The Video Game" rips were some of the only times we'd be seeing full-on animated depictions on what we presumed was the continuing story of the SiIvaGunner channel.

In the end, the Mashup Crusaders arc was moreso just NBGMusic's little playground to express his opinions and sense of humor as a ripper more than an actual continuation of the core storyline of the channel. But the popularity of the character he'd created was undeniable - through the sheer force of repeated shitposting, Mr. Rental had become a somewhat core cast member of the SiIvaGunner story. And I feel like Mr. Rental [B Side] ~ Out of Options was the moment where that status was wholly cemented - the episode where, after hearing one too many low-effort mashups (Snowball Park - Super Mario 3D World, anyone?), Mr. Rental goes on a killing spree and declares his intentions to wholly eradicate mashups from existence.

Beyond being just a genuinely really funny series of rips, it was with this episode that things really began to get interesting. Because from time to time, this crazed Mr. Rental would begin appearing in other rips on the channel, proudly declaring his intentions - most famously in a simple mashup of Super Mario 3D Land's theme and Chip tha Ripper, with him literally shooting the rip to death eleven seconds in. From this silly side project, the community suddenly had a sort of villain character present within the channel's inner workings - and this was long before the concept of Figments and the in-canon inner workings of SiIvaGunner would become clarified within the lore later in Season 2 and Season 3.

Though the Mashup Crusaders arc sadly didn't get the proper wrap-up it deserved, all of the excitement and surprise that surrounded it will forever be some of my fondest memories with Season 1 of SiIvaGunner. Before the Christmas Comeback Crisis, before Wood Man, before Haltmann, before the King for a Day and King for Another Day Tournaments, and before the SiIva AI - when all we had was SiIvaGunner, Chad Warden and The Voice Inside Your Head, it was such an exciting time to learn that the wheels inside of the SiIvaGunner storyline might still be spinning. Even if it took the form of an Australian rental service mascot declaring war upon low-quality rips.

#todays siivagunner #season 1 #siivagunner #siiva #tentative rip name #NBGMusic #mr rental #mr own #siivagunner lore #siiva lore #christmas comeback crisis #siivagunner ccc #ms paint #Youtube

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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months

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went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

#that's all. just kind of a personal post i thought was neat. skrunklore #skrunkart #yyh #yu yu hakusho #you can really feel the 14 y/o in a lot of the little notes and stuff but that too is part of the growth and change im trying to celebrate.#ripping my fingernails off about it but it needs to be done #also the hearts are because they love each other. and also me in like a cheering you on kinda way #ok more lore but around jr year i started feeling like my art was getting worse or at least stagnating and i kind of wished i could go back #to the era where a lot of that art is from bc there were little things i was better at and also bc i was much more prolific and adventurous #and while i'm sympathetic to it looking back after another couple of years it's like nah. no i was still growing i was just too close to se #like i'll be like oughh i haven't grown at all in years >:(( and then i'll look at the art i made over the course of 2023 and go oh nvm lol #some of it was more 'getting back into the swing of things' + traditional and tech issues being resolved but there was also growth #there is also stuff to be proud of and there always is and there always will be. that goes for you too reader #no matter what your art does or does not look like. i guess that's part of why im posting this too #part of what got me into visual art was seeing how people's art changed (sketchbook tours). it's cool and seeing that learning process so #well preserved and so easily analyzed kinda activated something in my brain. i think it got me past a lot of the 'im just not talented'#stuff a lotta ppl have that keeps them from drawing or sharing it or whatever. anyway art's cool i love art. gonna go draw now probably :D #ALSO really funny watching the way i drew myself change. all in ways that make sense but still funny to me. long hair glasses girl you'd #probably keel over if you saw what we look like now. hell yeah

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rickie-the-storyteller · 1 year

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Get To Know My OC Tag!

This'll probably be the first of many since this was sooo much fun to do lol.

I was going to do this with Steph… but I felt more drawn towards El today for some reason. Probably because I've been editing a lot more of her scenes/chapters lately. So Elise, I choose you!

Thank you for tagging me, @gummybugg!

Let's begin!

__________

The door opens, and 18-year-old Elise Kennedy enters the room. She walks with graceful strides that indicates the quiet confidence she holds within her. She is a pretty girl - long wavy blonde hair styled in a messy bun, crystal clear blue eyes sparkling with joy and curiosity (despite being baggy from that high school stress and sleep deprivation), and a bright beaming smile that honestly does a better job of lighting up the room than my terrible cheap lamp does. She appears to be about 5'6, if I'm not wrong.

She extends a hand in greeting, radiating an immediate sense of warmth and sincerity. Her voice, I notice straight away is soft warm and gentle. It carries an undertone enough to put you at ease in an instant. Then she takes her seat.

I know I've only just met her, but she seems nice.

1) Are you named after anyone?

Elise: Uh, no. Not after a person, I don't think. Although, I do know how I got my name. My late grandmother was really into classical music, and she came up with the suggestion of "Elise" for me when I was born because one of her favourite pieces of music was "Für Elise" by Beethoven. When I was little, she actually taught me how to play it on the piano, too! That was a fun time… yeah. But to answer your question, no. Not that I know of.

2) When was the last time you cried?

Elise: I don't know… hmm, let me think. This is actually a deep question when you think about it.

Me: It is??

Elise: Wait! Do you mean, like proper crying? Bawling like a baby? Or do you mean like welling up, but not actually making a sound?

Me: Uh…

Elise: If you mean the first one, then probably last week. I was watching a really sad movie with my brother, and I just couldn't help it. If you mean the second one, then… I don't know. To be honest, it happens on a regular basis. So probably yesterday or something. I try not to be overly emotional all the time, but I'm a sensitive soul, what can I say? (pause) OH! I remember now!

Me: You do?

Elise: It was two weeks ago! Ok, let me explain - I have this friend who really loves music. His name is Bret, and something he likes to do as a hobby is write and produce his own songs, right? And two weeks ago, he sent me an email with a link to his SoundCloud. He posts all his songs there now, its amazing! Anyway, he asked me for feedback on the first song he uploaded on there. So I listened to it, and it made me cry. It was very deep and moving. I loved it… (laughs awkwardly) I feel like my answers are way too long, ha-ha! Sorry about that.

Me: Don't be sorry. This is good!

Elise: I'll send you a link to Bret's SoundCloud! You need to listen to it yourself, so you know what I'm talking about.

Me: Would your friend mind?

Elise: Uh… (pauses for a while to wonder whether or not Bret would actually mind) Probably not?

3) Do you have kids?

Elise: Uh, no. Nor do I want any - at least not right now. I'm still a school kid! (pause) I know I'm 18, so legally I count as an adult, but I still feel like a kid, honestly. And I think that just as a general rule, if you feel like a kid or act like a kid, you probably shouldn't raise a kid.

4) Do you use sarcasm?

Elise: (thinks for a moment, then nods) Yeah. Not as often as some people do, but sometimes it's just necessary, especially when you're dealing with difficult or incompetent people.

5) What's the first thing you notice about people?

Elise: I feel like I'm naturally quite good at reading people, you know? Like, even with people I don't know all that well, I can just look at them and have a good idea of how they're feeling, what their thinking, what they're like. And it's usually pretty accurate, as well. I'm quite intuitive in that sense. I think this is also the reason I connect well with others even if they're very different from me. Like, I'm an introvert, and I'm generally rather quiet and mind my own business most of the time, but quite a lot of my friends are super energetic extroverted people. I think its fun to be curious, you know? Like, taking the time to understand and empathise with a person. You form closer bonds with people that way.

6) What's your eye colour?

Elise: Blue! You see? (opens eyes wide so that I can see their colour)

7) Any special talents?

Elise: Hmm. I don't know if any of my talents count as "special" or anything. I have talents… like, back when I used to perform in my old choir, I was known for being able to hold notes for really, really long. My record back then was like 47 seconds. But it's been years since then, and I probably can't do it anymore. Anything else? (pauses to think for a second) Don't know whether this counts, but I'm really good at memorising things. My brother says I have a memory sharper than a katana… which I think says everything you need to know about him. (laughs) But like, to give an example, I can read a book and basically be able to quote it word for word afterwards. Or watch a show, and be able to recite every line in a given scene. It's quite helpful as a student, actually. Makes the studying process a bit smoother. Not that I don't work hard for my grades, because I do. I don't consider myself to be a mega-super-genius or anything.

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

Elise: Are you kidding me?! Happy ending all the way! I can't sit through a horror movie for the life of me. I hate scary stuff, I just don't like the feeling of terror. I don't get why some people actually like it. I mean some people have to like it, right? There has to be a reason that the horror genre has a market.

9) Where were you born?

Elise: Born and raised in London, baby!

10) What are your hobbies?

Elise: Reading, first of all. I love to read so much. I always have.

Me: What is the book you're reading currently?

Elise: Right now, I'm re-reading "Normal People" by Sally Rooney. It's so good, I highly recommend it. But aside from reading, I like music a lot. Not as much as Bret, but I love to play a bit of piano whenever I have the time, and I also love to sing still. Even though I'm not in my old choir anymore.

Me: Why did you stop if you clearly loved doing it?

Elise: (sighs) It was a toxic environment for me… I needed a break from some of those people. I don't really want to get into it.

Me: Ooookay… (slightly concerned)

11) Do you have any pets?

Elise: No, and I've always wanted one! (pouts) It didn't even matter what it was! My parents aren't about that, though. Ugh! (pause) Maybe in the future, I'll get a puppy. I love dogs so much!

12) What sports do you play/have played?

Elise: None. (laughs) I've never been a sporty person.

13) How tall are you?

Elise: Five foot five. And a bit, depending on what shoes I'm wearing.

14) Favourite subject in school?

Elise: These questions are getting harder… (laughs) I don't know what my favourite subject is. I like all my subjects… I chose four subjects I really enjoy for A level. English Lit, Politics, History and Textiles. I like all of them for different reasons. Even when I struggle with one of them, and it is my least favourite one day, I can't bring myself to hate it… and it ends up being my favourite subject the next day.

Me: Well, tell me why you like all of your subjects.

Elise: Ok! So English Lit is because I love literature, as you may have inferred before from what I said about reading… Politics is because I just find that aspect of the world interesting, you know? I mean, I never used to, but once I started taking this class, I just found it fascinating. Just seeing how that stuff works. History was my strongest subject back when I did my GCSEs, so I was like "I have to do it again next year!" And Textiles… I don't know, I just find it peaceful. It's a chill subject to balance out the crazy intense ones. (laughs again)

15) Dream job?

Elise: In my dreams, I have all kinds of different jobs. Just last night I had a dream that I was this therapist, right, and all of my friends from work were coming into my office to ask for help with their love lives, despite the fact that I literally have no dating experience and am therefore the least qualified person to ask for help in that department. Man… why would you even go to your therapist just to ask about your love life anyway? Is that the only thing in your life that's bothering you?! The ONLY thing?!

Me: …That's not what I meant.

Elise: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to talk about my weird dream for a second. I don't know what my dream job is. As a child, my dream job was to be an author, like Cressida Cowell. I used to love her books growing up. I wanted to write just like her… create this huge epic fantasy series… have that series get turned into movies… but I couldn't come up with any original ideas. So I gave up.

Me: Awww…

Elise: Oh, it's okay. I still write a bit sometimes for fun. But in terms of an actual career, I'm stuck between two things - a lawyer, and a journalist.

Me: Two completely different things.

Elise: Yep. Lawyer because it's something I've been working towards all my life, pretty much. I mainly did it because my parents always said that it's a promising career to have. But journalism is just so fascinating to me. It's like being a writer, except you don't need to come up with original ideas. Plus, you get to explore the world, discover exciting new people and places and cultures and events… and tell stories that don't often get heard. It's like the career was made for me!

Me: It does, doesn't it? Well, I'm sure you'll make the right choice for yourself. Thanks for coming, Elise. This has been fun.

Elise: Of course! Thank you for having me.

END OF INTERVIEW.

__________

This was so much fun! I want to make this an open tag, but I'll just tag these three people to give it a go as well:

@rubywrite

@soph1333

@winterandwords

#rickie-the-storyteller #writerblr #writing #tag game #writeblr tag games #get to know my oc #oc interview #Elise #steph's crew #stephanie smith and her friends #I'm really fond of this character from Steph's Crew lol #while I put a bit of myself into all my characters #I think El is the one that I gave most of my personality to

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rinamars · 8 months

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i feel like u r my long lost twin oceans apart. literally same mind, same taste, same braincell even.

so what is this Something Happened thing please tell us the story

my dear rie i knew you would get me 🥺

i think i've already mentioned this somewhere but i can't remember, i think that post has been lost to time

during my Youth i didn't understand the appeal of, like, big buff men covered in blood and panting and stuff. i was never into buff men!! i respected other people's tastes, of course, but i was always like "ehhh, not for me ig"

and then i saw erwin get his whole ass arm bitten off but still continuing to scream to his soldiers to advance. i saw him all pale and bloody, saying "i can always be replaced" (aka the only bullshit that has ever come out of his mouth). i saw him appear out of nowhere and slice bertholdt's arm right off, WHILE GROWLING. and then i saw him all scruffy and disheveled and dressed down and with his tits almost out and making That Face as the curtain is drawn on the last episode of aot season 2

and it was Erwin, The Character I Found Nice And Interesting But That's It. "that's it" except that i now wanted to give him so many hugs and head pats and caresses and maybe even spread my legs for him a little ykwim

and then the universe did a thing, and i found these two memes on my pinterest home feed

which certainly didn't help my case

so yeah. i was a changed woman when i moved on to season 3 (which gave me even MORE bloody and disheveled erwin)

and when The Thing Happened at the end of s3p2 i cried my eyes out, and i hadn't cried that hard for a fictional death since i read the last maze runner book when i was 16

#this is my origin story #msg #erwin smith

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woofety · 6 months

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I was tagged by @sirtadcooper - thank you!! 😃

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties.

(mandatory under the cut because I'm an idiot who can't keep it short to save her life 😅)

Favourite colour: this is an easy one, I'm in an established relationship and still madly in love after so many years with practically every shade of violet/purple that exists! 💜 Maybe I'm slightly more drawn to colder hues, but I'm not really that picky when it comes to this family of colours!

(This is a picture of a portion of wall in my bedroom I have asked to be painted with this shade of violet - which is a bit darker in reality but y' know, artificial light, that corner is way too dark to photograph otherwise... the whole room has various hues of purple scattered around: curtains, decorations, blankets, pillows... here's a special appearance of my beautiful boat lamp! ⛵💕)

Last song: thanks to a suggestion from Youtube, which probably hates me, because I'm still recovering from a flu and generally weak so it would be wise to avoid any kind of unneccessary emotional outburst:

youtube

Not technically a song, but still... I'm not sure if I was crying while watching this because I haven't had the chance to listen to them live yet, since they made a European tour twice but never touched my country and I couldn't travel abroad to see them, or because of... whatever it is that is going on with this performance and these artists, "epicness" to me barely covers it, I know I'm exaggerating but that's how much I love Two Steps From Hell, what can I say... In any case here I am being even more of a mess than I already am, you'd think I have had enough of using handkerchiefs these days! 😭❤️‍🔥

Last movie: I think it was Imagine me & you, which I finally watched after seeing a lot about it here (unpopular opinion no one asked for, I thought I would have enjoyed it more... ☹️)... It was either that or Bros (which I actually enjoyed it more than I expected instead 😁), at the moment I don't remember exactly which came last...

Currently watching: Fellow Travelers as for new shows (fuck me, seriously, what am I doing to myself 😭 - I'm crying quite a bit in this post 😅), rewatching Blackadder after having finished A bit of Fry and Laurie 😆, and sports as well, mainly tennis, padel and basketball atm!

Other stuff I watched this year: Oh my, I didn't watch an awful lot of things, but I'll surely forget something - I'm terrible remembering this kind of stuff (if only it was just these things 😅)! Let's see, in no particular order, I can recall Minx (so far this year the most pleasant surprise in terms of TV series I've watched for the first time, silly [affectionate] little show), Wednesday (it was a bit meh for me, not sure if I'll watch next season), Red, white & royal blue (likely one of my favourite movies this year ❤️... yeah, it's not certainly a big deal of a movie ofc and I'm not even a rom com gal, especially for those Hallmark style movies, like this kinda is, but idk, it was cute and warm and brought good feelings and probably I watched it in the right moment for me, or one on which I just needed good vibes, what can I say), Call me by your name (even more than watching the movie reading the book was... quite an experience - I'm not saying it an entirely bad way, but I'm still so utterly confused about my feelings about this novel), What's love, The kissing booth (don't ask me about this one, the things I do to watch an actor I like 😅 - there's a whole trilogy of it but I only watched the two movies that had in the cast the actor I was interested in, really can't be bothered to do more than that, it was enough suffering I endured 🤣), Only murders in the building, The witcher, National treasure: edge of history (I don't care what anyone says, this show deserved at least another season, it was far from perfect but there has been way worse that still sticks around, and I'm speaking as a fan of the movies foremost, especially the first one, which is one of my comfort movies, as absurd and silly as it is 😊), Shadow and bone, The witcher (as for these, I'll probably keep watching an eventual next season only for some of the cast, because both were an utter disappointment and I wouldn't bother continuing otherwise), let's see, what else, oh yeah, Smiley (this was another nice show tbh, and in this case I could also train my ear a bit on the language since it's in Spanish and I'm trying to learn and improve it 😝) and two other Spanish shows (guilty again for watching mainly for an actor I wanted to see ah ehm), Merlì/Merlì: Sapere Aude and Alguien tiene que morir, and Érase una vez… pero ya no, all pretty much forgettable... I don't know what else, probably there is something more, but I'm making it lenghty already, I should stop anyway!

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: damn, I should make a sheet about tv/movies as I do with books, it's honestly hard remembering what I watched or dropped! I can recall not going through the second episode of Warrior nun: again, another show I was curious about having seen things here on Tumblr, but I didn't feel it after the first episode, I'm not even sure exactly why - it's possible I'll try again someday, it's way too early to have an opinion after only one episode! I also didn't finish Lockwood & co., this one wasn't really for me tbh... I'm not even mentioning something I've been watching only and exclusively because it's a sort of joke I have with a friend of mine... All right, I'll say, it's High School Musical: The musical - the series 😅 Truth is, my friend likes the movies and low key also the series, whereas I hate them all, and she knows they piss me off and she has fun hearing my comments and teasing me about it... I have a bit less fun submitting myself to this "torture" but whatever! 🤣 I try to watch the series when I'm particularly willing to waste my time, because the only reason I'm doing it is to have a laugh with said friend, anyway rn I'm at the last season and it's so bad, sooooooo bad (mind you, meaning it's just not for me, I'm likely too old and too millennial to watch this kind of shows anymore), I don't know how I am supposed to endure any more of it lol!! I guess at some point I'll force myself to finish it to end my suffering and hoping my friend and I will finally close this questionable chapter of our watching experience, but damn it's hard! 😝 As for shows of which I completed a season but didn't watch the next, I could say one was Abbott Elementary: pretty bummed about it because it was actually cute and was enjoying it, I finished the first season when the second didn't air yet and when it did, I had moved on and lost interest a bit and wasn't in the mood to continue my watching (happens to me a lot)... I think at some point I will resume this one, just have to find the right inspiration! 😛 (I'm rather complicated and picky about my watching/reading experience in general, ops) And I have to mention as well, even if it will surely grant me some disapproval from the person who tagged me in this game 😆, I couldn't pick up Our flag means death after the first season as well, and for now I don't think I will resume it: I didn't really feel this show, I don't know what to say... 🤷 Should I mention that I also tried rewatching The Terror but I was like "oh hell no!" after the first episode?! 😅 In my defense I watched it at night, and the show is A LOT and nearly killed me the first time, yeah ok I'm making excuses but I have to be in a certain state of mind to watch certain things and The Terror is one of those cases - I already mentioned I'm complicated with my watching experience, yes?! 😜 Anyway it was a rewatch so it shouldn't count sssshhhh 🤫😁

Currently reading: more like, the books I've put on hold atm, ouch! True that this year, especially in the first half, I've read way more than I expected and definitely way more than I usually do, but that's not an excuse to make a pause - still, I'm realizing that it's been few weeks since I've picked up my readings! Anyway, what I've been reading is Mercanti avventurieri by Attilio Brilli, which collects stories about merchants and their travels and trades through the centuries; Columbus by Lawrence Bergreen, the account of Cristoforo Colombo's voyages in America - not happy enough of ending up horrified and outraged by the chronicle of Magellano's expedition (by the story and events, not the author's writing, which I actually appreciated a lot), I decided to educate myself more about another so called "pioneer" who thanks to his hubris committed terrible atrocities in the name of "progress" and "religion" and "civilization" and so on 😡 , since the little knowledge I have about Colombo comes mainly from my years at school... Despite the fact that my respect for this man is nowhere to be seen, I'm still somehow fascinated by the narration of sea voyages, which in the end are actually my main interest when reading this kind of stories; Atlante delle fortune di mare di Cyril Hofstein, an account of tales about (mis)fortunes at sea, involving incidents, lost treasures, mysterious events, discoveries, disappearances, disasters and so forth - btw, in the book there is this particular chapter:

The disappearance of the Erebus and Terror is the title - the real story is terrifying enough even without creating a fictional horror show inspired by it jfc!

And lastly, this is definitely the less "serious" reading, The Lawrence Browne affair by Cat Sebastian, one of my first attempts at reading "proper" (meaning they're not fanfictions, not that I don't consider those "proper" literature, on the contrary many of them are written far better than some published books I've read, so yeah, I should say "published" instead) erotic novels lmao 😝 This was a whim really, I felt I wanted to read something light, "wicked" and not to be taken seriously (it also was probably some sort of "knee-jerk reaction" to many of the queer books I read this year, which were sad, depressing and/or tragic 😔)! Romance novels are not really my jam in general, but every once in a while they don't hurt, since I'm doing it just for fun! This one is actually the second book of a trilogy, more disappointing than the first book I have to say, which was more "juicy" and entertaining! 😁

Currently listening to: ah, this is a tough one to pinpoint, because lately my Spotify is on shuffle most of the time (I have a folder literally called "Miscellanea" that keeps a bit of everything, it's a glorious mess lol), and my music preferences are rather varied... Let's say that if I have to consciously choose something at the moment, there would certainly be Poets of the Fall, Gaelic Storm, The Irish Rovers, Santiano (in general celtic folk/punk songs, especially if inspired by sea and sailors stories- those are good for all seasons 🥰), Two Steps From Hell, J2 and "epic music" in general, and dance-pop music from '70 to '00, original or remixes, especially when I work out in the last case!

Currently working on: do crosswords count? It's my newest pursuit lol 😆 Because otherwise I'm afraid I'm not working on anything in particular at the moment (and I should start, since I had a couple of ideas for gifts for Christmas that alas, have to be handcrafted in order to be created, and if I want to have them done I am the one who must work on them, ugh can you believe it, outrageous, what has the world come to 😂)... I occasionally do a bit of calligraphy, create costume jewellery or create little macramè things, again usually trinkets but this summer I bought thicker yarns so I could have a go at something a little bigger like coin purses, wallets and little bags, and all in all it didn't go that bad:

The problem is, at least with the purses, that with these dimensions I can't fit half the things I usually bring with me when I go out because "you never know what might happen I might need this thing", so these purses were more like first tries and will likely not be used by me very much because they are too small for my necessities! 😅 In any case, I had to put this activity on hold for a bit because I lacked some time to dedicate myself to it!

Oh, wait, does trying to repair a porcelain ornament that fell on the floor (not because of me, I want to clarify, for once that I don't accidentally bump into stuff and make a mess - which happens more often than I'd like 😅) count? Hardly but whatever, anyway it's going to be complicated to glue the pieces back, some have shattered in such tiny fragments, sigh...

Current obsession: I'm almost shocked to report that at the current moment no particular obsession has consumed my every waking hour 🤣 I mean, even the flame of padel, which I've been following almost religiously all year, has dimmed a little, but it is the end of the season/year, everyone is tired and so am I apparently, rooting for couples who almost never have significant results (story of my life lol), so I guess I'm recharging the batteries for another round of hopeless cheer next year, yay! 🥳 For the rest, in terms of media I believe there is nothing of significance to report in terms of proper "obsession" for the time being, so yeah, that's it 😌 (the times of Black Sails or even Agents of SHIELD are far behind me, I miss being that "obsessed" tbh ☹️)

Tagging @thelifeinmyshadesofgrey , @whitestnoise , @lives-ruined-and-bloodshed, @valentinaonthemoon , @mednay , @tirairgid (ofc if you want to and haven't done it before) and whoever wants to give it a go really!

#about me #tag game #sirtadcooper #how could I make this so loooooooooong gdi I'm sorry I rambled an awful lot 😖#thank you again for thinking of me!

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piracytheorist · 10 months

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Okay I gotta admit it, I logged in today just to check my notifications and messages because I was curious. Seems like cold turkey isn't something I can do, but I feel like I've found things to occupy the time I'm not spending on tumblr anymore, so I feel distancing myself from the site is possible. Not having the app on my phone anymore helps.

Anyway, I took a quick look on twitter today, and while I didn't see any sxf spoilers, I did see a post about a thematic week that I won't be able to take part in, not even as an audience, because it will be centered around stuff I haven't seen yet.

And damn me, I want to read further into the story so bad. It's been almost six full months since the last episode aired, and I'm finding myself wondering what is happening next based on the vague spoilers I've gotten. And there's at least three and a half more months left. I just know, I know it, that I will enjoy the story three times as much seeing it animated - and like, if I'm truly honest, my main drawback from manga reading isn't that it's not animated, or acted, or even coloured. It's that my way of reading it is not how it's intended to be read. Like, if I could have the chapters printed out for me, that would be ideal. Like:

Reading the story like this? Feeling the pages in my hands, seeing the wide and two-page panels in all their glory? Terrific. Perfect. 10/10.

Reading it like this? Having to scroll up and down for long panels, zoom in for small speech bubbles and out for wide panels, pixels getting distorted based on how zoomed in I am? No, thank you, immersion go bye bye. If I had a vertical monitor I probably could have worked it out, but I don't have a vertical monitor nor can I afford one right now.

And you'll tell me, well, a lot of further chapters are available in the next volumes. And I'll say, I'll probably work only for half of July, my contract ends after that, and in August I may need to move out to a different city so I won't even be able to get a steady job that won't work me to the bone. And I'm on a tight budget, so even the forty euros (being generous here, cause volume 10 isn't easily available to me yet so 10 euros for it is a generous offer) I would spend on the next four volumes are money I cannot afford right now. Plus, I know they don't reach to the current chapters so I would still have a ton of spoilers to avoid.

I don't know why I'm explaining all this lmao. I just feel like I don't want people to think I'm an anime snob. Because by god with every week I feel my resolve break. If I actually make it to October without having read one single manga chapter it will be a miracle. It's such a weird challenge I'm putting myself through, I don't even know if y'all can understand it. It's not like it's a challenge I can "win", or a challenge I can award myself for passing. Maybe a bit of venting can help, idk. It's not like I'm asking for recognition or pity or something, I am aware of how weird my choice may seem. I just had some feelings and thought, "well, fuck, what do I have my tumblr blog for".

Idk. I just feel like I love this story so much and in such a way that I also want to properly enjoy it. If I lived in Japan and spoke the language, you know I'd be running to whatever stores sell the magazine where the new chapters are posted in every two weeks and sit outside the very store and read the new chapter before even getting back home (wait, are individual chapters even printed out in Shonen Jump? I'm not sure I've understood the whole thing completely). But since that isn't happening, my choices are a) waiting for a long time and not interacting with fans, but enjoying the story animated, with colour, voice acting, soundtrack and on wide screen (and yeah yeah it's an adaptation not the original but listen it's a good adaptation and this is why it's drawn me in) and b) getting the full story and interacting with fans now but seeing the story in broken-down panels and messed up pixels, while having to fix the zoom-in and -out on every page. And I know me. I know choice a will make me immersed in the story, while choice b will just give me the details of the story. Maybe I am a snob after all, idk. I'm not making any effort to explain or apologize for myself. I'm just venting, lol. It's been weird and lonely and IT'S BEEN TOO LONG AND OCTOBER IS TOO FAR AWAY T_T

Anyway. Been doing good other than that. I will probably revert to logging out every day in order to try and keep my distance from the site, but coming back every other day or so. We'll see. I have a few messages to respond to (and a few more spoiler-free manga panels to react to! yay!) so I'll get to those today.

#nette speaks #wow that was a vent lol

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seahdalune · 4 months

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Seana's 2023 art highlights

(surprisingly, not a reupload this time!)

January: i drew nothing! we're off to a great start.

February: i drew something! i love Champ even if i haven't drawn anything tf2 related since April. i think it was this piece where i decided to give Champ RED coloring. [link]

also, this is the month i made my second Moldy plush.... i wasn't very happy with this one, though. [link]

March: uhhhh. more of my tf2 ocs but i think those aren't that interesting. just go to my tf2 oc blog @brokenbrainstormbulb if you wanna see them honestly, i have an image limit to keep ffs. that said, this was around the time i got into TC2, so i drew a lot of that kind of stuff... i'm never drawing stuff for it ever again, sorry. [link]

April: look at the cool thing i drew for a fellow tf2 robot fan! now, this is the point in time where i start drawing more because of a certain interest, so look forward to all the art that'll come up here.....

May: wow, this really was my first public piece of Papa Louie art, huh. i was so proud of it when i showed it off on tumblr the first time... i don't like it as much anymore. for one, the office wall color is wrong.... i still can't believe Papa Louie was what got me out of art block, but god, i'm glad it did. i don't think i've drawn this much before, and even though the community's tiny, i'm glad to give back as much as i can. anyways, i said something like "it's so funny that people think they're either super married or divorced as hell" on the same post. i still think that, and it's defos funny as hell, but i've grown a kind of appreciation towards the ship as well. like yeah, you go girls, we love that extra slow burn with so many road bumps on the way! [link]

June: how the hell did i pump this out. this was also like a few days before i had to leave for the airport too... i don't know myself sometimes. i swear i still love Boigashipping! i just... i'm just busy with other ships okkkk [link]

July: i didn't draw anything...? i was in Bali. and i was busy selling adopt designs to draw anything substantial, oopsie! actually, i DID draw the first part of WDB... it's uh, still the only part. i'm sorry!!!! i'm sorry!!!! i swear i have the whole thing outlined!!! can you just give me anons about the story instead so you won't have to wonder what comes next!! [link]

August: TOSI fixation. it had not gone past it's conceptual stage, i must note. i do wish i would do something about it though. [link]

September: the art trade i did with my friend! actually, i was a few weeks late with my part, so it was supposed to be finished by August. oops. i like the textures tbh. my Chuseok drawings.... i need to draw more characters in hanbok, hee hee. [link]

October: (breaths in) ...this is the month i finally gave into the JoGotcha wantings. LOOK. ever since someone put the idea into my brain i couldn't get enough of it, and like,, nobody draws the ship anymore so i had to take matters into my own hands. this is the first ship i'm this obsessed with. i usually leave ship stuff to other people but this time that wasn't enough and i... i had to do SOMETHING, y'know? [link]

Cringetober? who's that? haha;; i stopped feeling like doing the whole list after less than a week. impressive.

November: oh look, Plushy Power League. Quinn didn't win, but i do like the thing i drew as propaganda, so whateves. the first Papa Louie character i ever drew (minus Chuck and Taylor)... did i change how i draw her? uhh. maybe? i'm not too sure. [link]

also look! the keychain drawing... i need to talk about my Gods and Monsters au again at some point. actually, since i last uploaded the image of my keychain, i revised it tons... it's kinda different now, and i defos think it looks better. this is actually the time i finally fixed the stupid display setting thing that was really messing up my coloring! [link 1] [link 2]

December: ...oops! tablet broke. and i got my 3ds back so i just didn't draw that much even after exams were over. didn't stop me from drawing though, and in fact i think i made something pretty neat with my christmas art.... even if it did come one day late. [link]

wow. that's a whole year of stuff... and that's defos a lot! i think i'm really happy with what i drew this year.... i don't know what was in my water the last few years but my art highlights felt really.... miserable? for some reason. i mean, yeah, i didn't do a lot of what i had planned (GOE ANIMATIC IM SORRY) but i can see that i've done just as much with my hands anyways, so like, who cares? plus, i always have next year... that's coming in 3 hours, oh god- so, maybe i won't be too hard on myself for not fulfilling my goals... like, i kinda glossed over it, but i did sell my designs for money, and that's like, really impressive! so many people around me buy and sell their art stuff already, so i guess i didn't really register it as something to be proud of... but doing that shit (making, and marketing) is hard!! so like, it's a wow moment for me!

anyways, i'm tired, i only came back home a few hours ago, and i need to get up again for church in a few hours.... mrphgdjd. lets stop being sentimental, and i'll see you people next year. that's a long way off! hope you don't miss me.

#dalune recap #dalune recap 2023

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kaiserouo · 1 month

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Hi.

This is a rambling post because i'm sick. Somehow turned into a post about my history about art. Kinda spent too much time on this that i don't really wanna delete this now. Oh well.

More below.

Yeah okay. You might think why i'm rambling in an art blog. It's because english isn't my native language and i kinda think differently with english. I've complained enough on plurk with chinese today so, uh, i'm here now lol.

I am so sick right now i don't even know if it's food poisoning or normal cough / fever. Anyway, i stared at a blank canvas in csp for >4 hours and cannot even do anything because of all the migraines i have.

The pain kinda took away the little inspiration and creativity i had, even though i have like a full idea list with detailed and concrete comic plot attached to almost every single item on the list.

So i'm gonna post the second hound i've ever drawn, probably because i have just lost the capability to make proper decisions. Also being sick and cannot physically do anything made my mind flew to who knows where.

2022/02/12

I mean, it kinda sucks. I know i also didn't achieve anything important now but oh man.

You know, it's kinda a miracle why i'm here doing art stuff almost every single day, and why this piece is in my phone in the first place. If you've seen my stuff a lot (for whatever reason) you might already know i...don't like myself very much. Not until recently when i'm reading a book did i realize i'm a perfectionist type of person. Like, i don't like failure, i don't like being...not able to do stuff. When i try something i think i can achieve and realize that i actually just...don't have the ability to do the stuff to my standards, i'd very likely just quit.

I was not capable of drawing anything. You might be thinking "oh no art is not about being capable or making masterpiece first try it's for fun you can do whatever." I kinda got it, like i understand the point this sentence is trying to convey, but my brain just...doesn't work like that. I think perfectionist is just an inherent bad habit of mine. Especially that i've been lurking on social media watching actual masterpiece level of fanart (at least to me) since i was like, 12. My taste of art and what i perceive as "good" did not match my ability to draw, and very likely never will.

It's basically a death sentence, because if you can't really achieve something to your standards then why do you even try? I mean, objectively speaking it's very illogical to say that and you can probably deduce a lot of contradictions from that, maybe like "masters were once a noob too they weren't born with all the skills they have" or something like that. But that's why i said i'm a perfectionist and it's my inherent bad habit. My brain just defaults to...whatever illogical thinking i said. Until that piece of Bloodhound i've already tried to draw many characters years before, but those attempts just...never last.

But that time, when i tried to draw Bloodhound, i recalled an advice that you should put all your work on the internet. Just, literally all of them, no matter how bad it was. It kinda makes sense to me actually. To keep the progress for future inspections; to give myself a pressure to draw something every day; to put what i was thinking into words, knowing that i will forget all the struggle i had once i became good enough (if that ever happens).

So i made a new plurk account. Nice platform, only taiwanese use that, very little people, even less will see my art months into the cause so that's nice for an introvert like me. But the pressure i gave myself to post everyday is very real, and i despise my art every single day. Old habits die hard, even for now.

Everything kinda flows natually after i got into the habit of posting things everyday. I must stress that this habit itself is a miracle. I'm an introvert that can't really talk with strangers, let alone shouting out loud (i.e., posting) on the internet. Anyway, this changed things. I started to actually draw, like, almost every day. There's never anything i did in my life that i actually made into a habit, or, uh, just generally do everyday without much obstacles in my heart. I usually just play games after school and watch youtube and daydream about all kinds of plot about the game, that'd be all i do.

I can get through a lot of details about the progress thanks to the post i was making, but to put it simply: i think i'm trash at making art, and my art is also trash, so i tried to learn things to make it…less trash. Most art post i've done i wrote about what i tried and what i've learned. Not actual research and book reading, just a bit of observation i made to make my hound look better.

At roughly 2023/2 i saw a post about learning art in 100 days. Ignoring all the thoughts thinking i was trash and achieved way less in a year, i actually started borrowing books about art. Spent like 2 months on stonehouse's anatomy, also a bit on perspective. I'm kinda a nerd so i'm completely fine with the biology and perspective related math (like most properties are 10 seconds easy proof after all). But the memorizing part of anatomy and the intuition part of perspective i'm still trying to get familiar with. Well that all comes down to practice and practice and more practice, which i do way less than i should to be honest.

At 2023/7 i made this account. That time i just got into destiny 2. Fun fact, that banner of cayde + bloodhound + omen was made in ~2023/6 and i didn't even know which games cayde and omen are from until i actually look it up.

And…yeah. This post kinda turns into my history of drawing but this is it. Still learning, still making my daydreams into art. i think the only thing that changed this year is that i kinda enjoy my own art now. I still think some of them are bad, especially as the art gets older, but it's not completely unbearable now. Like, i often go back to some old posts and think "oh yeah i drew this idea, still hilarious to me lol." Crazy, huh?

Okay i'm tired. I think this should have some kind of ending or conclusion...

Yeah, so why it's a miracle i'm here? I started to make art, i kinda made it a habit, i posted about my art even if i'm an introvert irl, i look down upon my own art because i'm a perfectionist, i still make art despite of that, i post enough stuff on the internet before and i plucked up my courage to post on english platforms (i.e., tumblr), and i'm still making art till this day.

I didn't meant it as some kind of art learning advice because you shouldn't even listen to me in that case. It's just me mesmerized by how i even ended up here. Tend to do that when i'm sick on bed doing nothing.

C'est la vie, am i right?

#also why i kinda don't try to draw faces and do coloring #oh btw even if i said i'm an introvert you still can use that AMA thing #i can't talk with people but i can type #probably #depends on how sociophobia i am on that day #ramble #my art #(technically i still posted a hound in there lol)

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panlight · 2 years

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Do you think that MEYER would write Charlie becoming a vampire? He gets hurt or terminally ill, etc. Charlie doesn't strike me as someone who would WANT to be immortal but if Charlie being immortal makes BELLA happy...I feel like Meyer would write Charlie as being weirdly fine with being a vampire, just so that there's still no chance of Bella being unhappy in literally any way.

Right, the only way I see it happening is if it's part of BELLA's perfect forever. She gets to keep Charlie . . . until death. I could see a scenario where SM wants to let her keep him forever. I mean, Edward has his "parents" Esme and Carlisle, so Bella should get to keep Charlie (I'm not saying I agree with this, and obviously it's different because Edward only became C/Es' son post-vampirism, but I could see SM laying it out like this).

And yeah if SM wrote it then Charlie would be weirdly chill and everyone would be like "huh I guess it runs in the family!" and Nessie would delight in having Grandpa around forever and it would just feel even more forced and artificial and "wait aren't these people supposed to be vampires?" than Breaking Dawn did.

Personally I agree that Charlie wouldn't want to be immortal or a vampire, and I think if we had a scenario where Charlie was on death's door, the other Cullens would articulate that to Bella, especially if he were elderly at that point. A long life is the natural order of things; vampirism is not. I know SM would say that vampires are drawn to young and beautiful people because of aesthetic reasons but to me it makes sense Carlisle, as a doctor especially, turned young people because they hadn't had the chance to really live yet. He says it with Rosalie, so much waste. He wouldn't feel the same about a 82-year-old Charlie dying in hospice. He might actually envy him.

See, for me, the obvious conclusion is that immortality SEEMS like a great idea but becomes miserable at some point. I've felt this way since I was a kid. I wrote some short story for English class in like sixth grade about the lost city of Atlantis and how the immortality and isolation was torture blah blah blah. So this idea of like "oh yay!!!! Bella's immortal now! and her husband's immortal! and her daughter's immortal! and her best friend is immortal! let's make her dad immortal too!" just makes me go, okay that might seem great for awhile but for how long?

Either you just have to surrender every last vestige of your humanity and become totally feral and Other, or eventually the weight of outliving everyone, of being stuck at one age forever, at never having those experiences of middle and old age, will start to wear on you. It just seems inevitable to me. And Edward seemed to be already feeling it in Midnight Sun. Bella and Renesmee will be a reprieve for awhile, but . . .

Immortality is at best a mixed blessing IMO. I don't think the fairy tale is sustainable even with perfect love and a perfect family. The other Cullens certainly didn't read to me like they were in perfect bliss all the time. Having Charlie join them won’t fix it either. And then what? Renee? Phil? Bella’s favorite authors? The nice person at the bookstore Bella can’t bear to think of dying some day?

You picked immortality, Bella. You have to learn to let people go.

#asks

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katnissmellarkkk · 2 years

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Okay, here’s Everlark’s Most Married Moments Part Two 🤗. This took me forever and three days to do because it’s super difficult for me to decide which moments to use from Catching Fire and which not, considering they acted very married-like throughout the second half of that entire book.

Edit: Anywaysss I edited this now to condense it because it was too long when I posted it hours ago but here it is now 🥰🥰🥰🥰. Still long but not quite as long.

Peeta comes by every day to bring me cheese buns and begins to help me work on the family book. […] For a long time, I’ve wanted to record my own knowledge in it. Things I learned from experience or from Gale, and then the information I picked up when I was training for the Games. I didn’t because I’m no artist and it’s so crucial that the pictures are drawn in exact detail. That’s where Peeta comes in. Some of the plants he knows already, others we have dried samples of, and others I have to describe. He makes sketches on scrap paper until I’m satisfied they’re right, then I let him draw them in the book. After that, I carefully print all I know about the plant.

It’s quiet, absorbing work that helps take my mind off my troubles. I like to watch his hands as he works, making a blank page bloom with strokes of ink, adding touches of color to our previously black and yellowish book. His face takes on a special look when he concentrates. His usual easy expression is replaced by something more intense and removed that suggests an entire world locked away inside him. I’ve seen flashes of this before: in the arena, or when he speaks to a crowd, or that time he shoved the Peacekeepers’ guns away from me in District 11. I don’t know quite what to make of it. I also become a little fixated on his eyelashes, which ordinarily you don’t notice much because they’re so blonde. But up close, in the sunlight slanting in from the window, they’re a light golden color and so long I don’t see how they keep from getting all tangled up when he blinks.

“Peeta's argument is that since I chose you, I now owe him. Anything he wants. And what he wants is the chance to go in again to protect you,” says Haymitch.

I knew it. In this way, Peeta's not hard to predict. While I was wallowing around on the floor of that cellar, thinking only of myself, he was here, thinking only of me.

“It's completely my business. However it falls out, two of us are going to be in the arena again with the other as mentor. We can't afford any drunkards on this team. Especially not you, Katniss,” says Peeta to me.

“What?” I sputter indignantly. It would be more convincing if I weren't still so hungover. “Last night's the only time I've ever even been drunk.”

“Yeah, and look at the shape you're in,” says Peeta.

I don't know what I expected from my first meeting with Peeta after the announcement. A few hugs and kisses. A little comfort maybe. Not this. I turn to Haymitch. “Don't worry, I'll get you more liquor.”

“Then I'll turn you both in. Let you sober up in the stocks,” says Peeta.

“Want to talk about it?” he asks. Sometimes that can help, but I just shake my head, feeling weak that people I haven't even fought yet already haunt me.

When Peeta holds out his arms, I walk straight into them. It's the first time since they announced the Quarter Quell that he's offered me any sort of affection. He's been more like a very demanding trainer, always pushing, always insisting Haymitch and I run faster, eat more, know our enemy better. Lover? Forget about that. He abandoned any pretense of even being my friend. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck before he can order me to do push-ups or something. Instead he pulls me in close and buries his face in my hair. Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. It feels so good, so impossibly good, that I know I will not be the first to let go.

“We don't have to tell Haymitch we saw it.”

“Okay,” Peeta agrees. He puts in the tape and I curl up next to him on the couch with my milk, which is really delicious with the honey and spices, and lose myself in the Fiftieth Hunger Games.

“Do you think we'd have ended up like this if only one of us had won?” he asks, glancing around at the other victors. “Just another part of the freak show?”

“Sure. Especially you,” I say.

“Oh. And why especially me?” he says with a smile.

“Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don't,” I say with an air of superiority. “They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you'd be lost entirely.”

“Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness,” Peeta points out. “Except possibly when it comes to you.”

“Shall we?” He holds out a hand to help me into the chariot.

I climb up and pull him up after me. “Hold still,” I say, and straighten his crown. “Have you seen your suit turned on? We're going to be fabulous again.”

I look up into those blue eyes that no amount of dramatic makeup can make truly deadly and remember how, just a year ago, I was prepared to kill him. Convinced he was trying to kill me. Now everything is reversed. I'm determined to keep him alive, knowing the cost will be my own life, but the part of me that is not so brave as I could wish is glad that it's Peeta, not Haymitch, beside me. Our hands find each other without further discussion. Of course we will go into this as one.

We end up on the same elevator with her, and she spends the whole ride to the seventh floor chatting to Peeta about his paintings while the light of his still-glowing costume reflects off her bare breasts. When she leaves, I ignore him, but I just know he's grinning. I toss aside his hand as the doors close behind Chaff and Seeder, leaving us alone, and he breaks out laughing.

[…]

“It's like when you wouldn't look at me naked in the arena even though I was half dead. You're so ... pure,” he says finally.

“I am not!” I say. “I've been practically ripping your clothes off every time there's been a camera for the last year!”

“Yeah, but ... I mean, for the Capitol, you're pure,” he says, clearly trying to mollify me. “For me, you're perfect. They're just teasing you.”

“No, they're laughing at me, and so are you!” I say.

“No.” Peeta shakes his head, but he's still suppressing a smile. I'm seriously rethinking the question of who should get out of these Games alive when the other elevator opens.

“Well, you can have final say about our allies. But right now, I'm leaning toward Chaff and Seeder,” says Peeta.

“I'm okay with Seeder, not Chaff,” I say. “Not yet, anyway.”

“Come on and eat with him. I promise, I won't let him kiss you again,” says Peeta.

After training, Peeta and I hang out, waiting for Haymitch and Effie to show up for dinner. When we're called to eat, Haymitch pounces on me immediately. “So at least half the victors have instructed their mentors to request you as an ally. I know it can't be your sunny personality.”

“They saw her shoot,” says Peeta with a smile. “Actually, I saw her shoot, for real, for the first time. I'm about to put in a formal request myself.”

Peeta and I are finally left alone. He reaches across the table to take my hands. “Decided what to do for the Gamemakers yet?”

[…]

We sit in silence awhile and then I blurt out the thing that's on both our minds. “How are we going to kill these people, Peeta?”

“I don't know.” He leans his forehead down on our entwined hands.

“You'd have thought we planned it,” says Peeta, giving me just the hint of a smile.

“Didn't you?” asks Portia. Her fingers press her eyelids closed as if she's warding off a very bright light.

“No,” I say, looking at Peeta with a new sense of appreciation. “Neither of us even knew what we were going to do before we went in.”

“And, Haymitch?” says Peeta. “We decided we don't want any other allies in the arena.”

“Good. Then I won't be responsible for you killing off any of my friends with your stupidity,” he says.

“That's just what we were thinking,” I tell him.

Peeta walks me down to my room in silence, but before he can say good night, I wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his chest. His hands slide up my back and his cheek leans against my hair. “I'm sorry if I made things worse,” I say.

Because I will be more valuable dead. They can turn me into some kind of martyr for the cause and paint my face on banners, and it will do more to rally people than anything I could do if I was living. But Peeta would be more valuable alive, and tragic, because he will be able to turn his pain into words that will transform people.

Peeta would lose it if he knew I was thinking any of this, so I only say, “So what should we do with our last few days?”

“I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you,” Peeta replies.

The moment we step off the elevator, Peeta grips my shoulders. “There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?”

“Nothing,” I say.

“Hello, again,” he says, and gives me a kiss. “We've got allies.”

“Yes. Just as Haymitch intended,” I answer.

“Remind me, did we make deals with anyone else?” Peeta asks.

“How are you?” he asks Peeta. “Do you think you can move on?”

“No, he has to rest,” I say. My nose is running like crazy and I don't even have a shred of fabric to use as a handkerchief. Mags rips off a handful of hanging moss from a tree limb and gives it to me. I'm too much of a mess to even question it. I blow my nose loudly and mop the tears off my face. It's nice, the moss. Absorbent and surprisingly soft.

I notice a gleam of gold on Peeta's chest. I reach out and retrieve the disk that hangs from a chain around his neck. My mockingjay has been engraved on it. “Is this your token?” I ask.

“Yes. Do you mind that I used your mockingjay? I wanted us to match,” he says.

“No, of course I don't mind.” I force a smile.

“Don't worry, I won't go far,” I promise Peeta.

“I'll go, too,” he says.

“No, I'm going to do some hunting if I can,” I tell him. I don't add, “And you can't come because you're too loud.” But it's implied. He would both scare off prey and endanger me with his heavy tread. “I won't be long.”

Nothing. I find nothing. Not so much as a dewdrop. Eventually, because I know Peeta will be worried about me, I head back to the camp, hotter and more frustrated than ever.

“I'm going to try to tap a tree,” I say. My fingers fumble at my belt and find the spile still hanging from its vine.

“Let me make the hole first,” says Peeta.

“Peeta,” I say as calmly as possible. “I need your help with something.”

“Okay, just a minute. I think I've just about got it,” he says, still occupied with the tree. “Yes, there. Have you got the spile?”

“I do. But we've found something you'd better take a look at,” I continue in a measured voice. “Only move toward us quietly, so you don't startle it.” For some reason, I don't want him to notice the monkeys, or even glance their way. There are creatures that interpret mere eye contact as aggression.

Peeta turns to us, panting from his work on the tree. The tone of my request is so odd that it's alerted him to some irregularity.

I catch sight of Peeta and Johanna standing at the tree line and I'm filled with a mixture of relief and anger. Why didn't Peeta come to help me? Why did no one come after us? Even now he hangs back, his hands raised, palms toward us, lips moving but no words reaching us. Why?

Peeta presses his hand against the surface and I put my own up to meet it, as if I can feel him through the wall. I see his lips moving but I can't hear him, can't hear anything outside our wedge. I try to make out what he's saying, but I can't focus, so I just stare at his face, doing my best to hang on to my sanity.

I know it's stopped when I feel Peeta's hands on me, feel myself lifted from the ground and out of the jungle. But I stay eyes squeezed shut, hands over my ears, muscles too rigid to release. Peeta holds me on his lap, speaking soothing words, rocking me gently. It takes a long time before I begin to relax the iron grip on my body. And when I do, the trembling begins.

“It's all right, Katniss,” he whispers.

“Katniss, Prim isn't dead. How could they kill Prim? We're almost down to the final eight of us. And what happens then?” Peeta says.

“Seven more of us die,” I say hopelessly.

“No, back home. What happens when they reach the final eight tributes in the Games?” He lifts my chin so I have to look at him. Forces me to make eye contact. “What happens? At the final eight?”

While Johanna collects water and my arrows, Beetee fiddles with his wire, and Finnick takes to the water. I need to clean up, too, but I stay in Peeta's arms, still too shaken to move.

Peeta and I volunteer for the first watch because we're better rested, and because we want some time alone. The others go out immediately, although Finnick's sleep is restless. Every now and then I hear him murmuring Annie's name.

Peeta and I sit on the damp sand, facing away from each other, my right shoulder and hip pressed against his. I watch the water as he watches the jungle, which is better for me. I'm still haunted by the voices of the jabberjays, which unfortunately the insects can't drown out. After a while I rest my head against his shoulder. Feel his hand caress my hair.

“If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. You're my whole life,” he says. “I would never be happy again.” I start to object but he puts a finger to my lips. “It's different for you. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living.”

Peeta rinses the pearl off in the water and hands it to me. “For you.”

[…]

“Thanks,” I say, closing my fist around it. I look coolly into the blue eyes of the person who is now my greatest opponent, the person who would keep me alive at his own expense. And I promise myself I will defeat his plan.

The laughter drains from those eyes, and they are staring so intensely into mine, it's like they can read my thoughts. “The locket didn't work, did it?” Peeta says, even though Finnick is right there. Even though everyone can hear him. “Katniss?”

There's nothing to do now but wait. Peeta and I sit at the edge of the water, hand in hand, wordless. He gave his speech last night but it didn't change my mind, and nothing I can say will change his. The time for persuasive gifts is over.

“I want to go with them as a guard,” Peeta says immediately. After the moment with the pearl, I know he's less willing than ever to let me out of his sight.

I take Peeta's face in my hands. “Don't worry. I'll see you at midnight.” I give him a kiss and, before he can object any further, I let go and turn to Johanna.

#everlark #thg #hunger games #katniss everdeen #Peeta mellark #bookcomb ♥️🔎#long post #i may come back and edit this Tomorrow #I’m so tired right now 😭😭

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wildmelon · 10 months

Text

sims tag

ty @prematurehag and @gerbits 😘😘😘😘

1. what’s your favorite sims death? i avoid death at all costs in my game, not one of those people who lets the game do its thing and builds my story from there. so old age lol

2. alpha or maxis match? a mix, always

3. do you cheat when your sims gain weight? no

4. do you use move objects? ofc

5. favorite mod? mccc, lumpinou's, and adeepindigo's 💯

6. first expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work

7. do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? both? i never noticed, but it depends!

8. who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? no way i can choose just one! i answered about a few of my all-time favorites here, here, & here 💞

9. have you made a simself? yeah but it was only to give my tumblr buddies an idea of what i look like, i've never been drawn to making or playing with simselves 🤷🏼‍♀️

10. what sim traits do you give yourself? mixing ts3 & ts4 traits: hopeless romantic, good sense of humor, over-emotional, creative, dramatic

11. which is your favorite EA hair color? warm black, darkest brown, white-blonde

12. favorite EA hair? no idea, cc only around here

13. favorite life stage? young adult

14. are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? used to be gameplay but now i'm 99% cas! never been a builder but i've been slowly improving my interior skills 🛋️

15. are you a CC creator? i'm trying to learn to make clothes rn lol

16. do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? would never use the phrase sim squad personally 😭 i'd say i have simblr friends but not a group 🫶🏼

17. what’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) ts3 for playing and nostalgia, ts4 for cas

18. do you have any sims merch? no lmfao

19. do you have a YouTube for sims? no, i'm not really interested in that

20. how has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? i hate my old sim style, it was rife with creepily proportioned bodies, tiny noses, & other projections of my insecurities. i think i really improved last summer and developed a style that's more balanced between simmy and realistic ✨

21. what’s your Origin ID? wildmelon

22. who’s your favorite CC creator? @/simstrouble, @/serenity-cc, @/daylifesims @/northernsiberiawinds, @/lamatisse, @/greenllamas, @/okruee, @/clumsyalien, @/myshunosun, @/evellsims, @/sheabuttyr, @/laeska, @/arethabee, @/charonlee, and many more!

23. how long have you had a simblr? since march 2020, but only been posting regularly since summer 2022 😎

24. how do you edit your pictures? answered here 💫

25. what expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? fairies fairies fairies 🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼

26. what expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? i'm a city living loyalist 🏙️ but i love growing together also, and all the occult packs! 💓

tagging: @mmonetsims @olya-occult-lover @alltimefail-sims @simgerale @cowboycid @alpine-lapine @quarterkrogan (feel free to ignore/sorry if you did this and i missed it!!!)

#tag game #lush.talk

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