#this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

[judesmoonbeauty]

Alfons Sylvatica Chapter 2 - Semi-Summary

This is a fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a SEMI-SUMMARY of each chapter. I am roughly translating this with out much research other than specific lines from certain scenes. Why? Because it's a huge task to translate a main route chapter line by line. So, this is what we're working with, and I appreciate your understanding ♥︎ Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my summaries elsewhere. Minors: Please DNI or consume this content. CW: Dub-Con. Dividers: @/natimiles

Kate wakes up the next morning and finds a shirtless Alfons sleeping next to her in bed. She freaks out and wakes Alfons up in the process who says, “Oh, is it morning already? Good morning, Kate.” She recalls how he came to her room the night before, kissed her and then they went to bed, but no lines were crossed at this point because he knew her body was too tired, but even so did they do other activities that only “lovers” do….she wasn’t sure.

Alfons: Did you have a good dream last night?

Kate: W-wha……from where….

The blurry line between dreams and reality were a shock to her, the fear from last night and the pleasurable kiss they shared was so real, but it still felt like a dream and she couldn’t help, but feel upset. Alfons laughs at her in amusement, and his smile makes her back away from him covering her naked body with the sheet.

Kate: Wow, did you do something to me?!

Alfons: Yes, I did. I did a lot of nice things.

Kate: I didn’t mean that…..!!

She frantically tries to remember why she thought that Alfons was her lover, knowing there must be some kind of trigger. She has a flashbacks to him in her room and the mission prior to that:

Kate: Worried?

Alfons: Yes, isn’t it obvious?

Alfons: Because - you are my lover.

Alfons: You’re dreaming. You’re having a very pleasant dream.

Back to the present, she recalls him touching the nape of her neck and him whispering to her in both instances, and then recalls the pile of dead bodies before he touched her. She mentions that he used his ability on her, and surmises it’s the ability to use illusions. He admits to it and then commends her deductive skills while breaking out in applause. However, he clarifies that his ability is to rewrite perceptions by simply touching the nape of ones neck and whisper, and she asks why he did it to her?

Alfons: Why, because…..it’s fun of course?

Alfons: Poor little robin, thrown into a cesspool of evil.

Alfons: You’re the funniest toy I’ve ever seen.

Kate: …..!! (Kate slaps his cheek.)

Kate: Disgusting……

Alfons: I like your reaction, much better than last nights.

Alfons laughs without straightening his clothes and flutters off her bed, and tells her that if she ever wants to cry again then he’s there for her. She screams “No, thank you!” and throws a pillow at him. Afterwards, she heads to the dining room for breakfast and Alfons is sitting their nonchalantly. She wants to turn on her heel, but she resists and takes a seat. Victor starts talking to her about the mission from the night before, and she asks what happens after she was hypnotized. Did they call the police? William explains to her that in East End there have been many murders, arsons, abductions etc. and yet the police chalk it up to something that “always happens in the slums”.

Kate watches the expressions of those around her: Liam & Harrison listen quietly to the information, Elbert looks down melancholically at it, Alfons doesn’t seem interested in the subject at all, and then there’s those whose eyes sparkle with joy…….“That’s where Crown comes in,” says Victor. He explains that rumor has it that the administrators of the orphanage and poorhouse are responsible for the series of incidents. Last night’s mission was a little prelude to gather information. William says that they are trying to uncover the reason all the administrators are banding together; is it money, ideology, or pleasure? “What do you think”, he asks her.

Kate says she doesn’t know and she can’t of a single reason as to why someone would want to do that, as she recalls the scene feelings well up in her chest making her feel like she’s trapped in a dark place. Alfons chimes in, “Well, you don’t need to know. It’s a hassle.”

Alfons: Some children die in this world without anyone knowing. That means there are some who think they’re nothing more than rubbish to be cleaned off the street.

Kate is stunned by such a statement from him, is this a brazen dereliction of duty despite Crown being tasked with such cases? They stare at each other and he smiles.

Alfons: - It doesn’t matter.

(It doesn’t matter?!)

Alfons: Miss Kate, are you sure? You don't want to hide this.

He taps his own neck and Kate is like, “neck”? Hide what? Liam starts to ask, “Hey Kate, isn’t that….”, and Ellis follows up, “It’s a hickey.”

Kate: What?!

Ellis peeks at her from behind and she covers her neck with the palm of her hand.

Kate: Wh-wh-why....…

Alfons: Well, because……that’s what I did to you, isn’t it?

Kate: …!

Her cheeks flush and Harrison asks Alfons if he’s already touched her? Alfons laughs and asks Kate how he should answer that question, but she is so embarrassed that she can’t say anything. He taunts, “Aw, you can’t say anything?” But, it’s not possible of knowing what really happened last night, and while she is struggling as to what to say, Jude enters says, “What, ya already been devoured? I’m sorry to hear that,” and lets out a loud laugh.

Kate: I’ve not been devoured!

Alfons: That’s terrible…..that you kissed me so passionately, but you were just playing around with me……?

Kate: ….. Weren’t you the one who played with me?!

Liam: Ah.

Harrison: Ahhh.

Ellis: You just admitted it.

Kate: Huh—!?

Alfons: Pfft, ahaha! This is the best, Kate!

Alfons: Victor, will you make her my exclusive?

Kate: What do you mean my ”exclusive”?

Kate wants the situation from escalating any further and Alfons explains that they’d be partners, buddies, a tag-team or whatever she wants to call it. Victor thinks it’s a great proposal after their hot night together, and Alfons says that he must take responsibility for their one night stand, but Kate doesn’t sense any sign of sincerity in his voice. Victor says that he doesn’t care as long as Kate agrees to it, to which, she declines saying she hates the idea. Alfons threatens her with, “Don’t say! If you do, I don’t know if I’ll do that again or not.” She is upset, but it was also her fault for not kicking him out of her room last night as soon as he entered, and Victor warned her that many members of Crown were morally bankrupt.

William makes the suggestion that Kate only accompanies Alfons on his missions and outside of that, she doesn’t need to be around him. Kate still doesn’t like the idea, but it’s better than being with him 24/7, so she agrees and Alfons says it’s fine.

Alfons: Well…..I look forward to working with you, Kate.

[Next] [Master List]

#alfons sylvatica #ikevil alfons #ikevil translations #ikemen villains #Ikémen villains translations #IkeVil JP spoilers

[cowpokezuko]

Can I say something?

Due to the lack of delivery of telos studio, Doug Walker is a better filmmaker than James Somerton.

Change my mind

#you can't #is the wall good? no. Is it done? yes #this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #yt drama ily #james somerton #nostalgia critic #telos

[bestworstcase]

“i am the reflection of who prevails/i’m what inspired the fairytale” ENOUGH! ENOUGH!!

#this is the FUNNIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME

[certifiedbi]

Hey guys how's your saturday going? probably better than mine the speedup admin caught me making fun of their spelling mistake

#and yes they changed the caption #i felt so bad #this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #alonso lopez #fermin aldeguer #speed up racing #speed up #moto2 #motogp

[townofcrosshollow]

IRLS MIGHT NOT WANNA READ THIS OKAY. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

So my partner and I have started doing some lifestyle BDSM stuff, and one of our "rules" is that I have to follow a meal plan they make me for all of my breakfasts and lunches and send them pics in our private discord server as proof. Basically it's just motivation to eat better and stop buying so much food from Tim Hortons (and it's working!). So we've gotten into this daily routine of me making myself breakfast (and a packed lunch if I've got school), sending them a pic, and them responding like "Good boy!! ❤️💕" and other some such praise, often extremely obviously a kink thing (this channel could not possibly be disguised as "just some pics of food"). I'll also occasionally send them pics when I have a healthy snack or dinner because praise good.

I also happen to be a bit lover of cooking, and I enjoy taking pictures of nice dinners I make to share with my friends in our group discord server! Today I made some salmon tacos. Observe:

(I had already eaten one when I took the picture)

So I snapped a pic of my very yummy looking dinner and sent it to our friend discord server where we hang out with our mutual friends.

And almost instantly I saw this

Followed by the little notification saying they're still typing.

And I have this fucking split second panic response like if this motherfucker calls themselves master in front of my friends I am going to kill everyone in this server including myself

And I didn't know what to say without cluing anyone in so I just typed "DON'T" and instantly sent it. And bless their soul, my partner just sends a confused "Don't?"

I was thankfully able to move to DMs and confirmed that 1. They, in fact, did not notice that this was the wrong server 2. They were about to send something kinky, and 3. I was SO GODDAMN LUCKY that their first messages were relatively inconspicuous and not "Good boy! 💕💕💕💕💕" which is absolutely what they normally would have sent.

Nobody else commented on the fish tacos though. You win some, you lose some.

#uhhhhh #nsft #this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #incoherent rambling

[itssomethingcosmic]

grbookworm1881… “Behold Me” 👁️

pornbots are joining fandoms…

#the magnus archives #tma #this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #im cackling

[moreknives]

r*nnie r*dke is bullying me on tiktok

#this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

[gendzl]

sometimes it is necessary to say the things you think are blatantly obvious, because otherwise you find out that the conversation you've been having for 20 years has actually just been two people with opposing viewpoints talking past each other & each thinking the other person agreed.

#this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #¶

[mosswolf]

reblog if you support sexy lobsters. i GUESS

#the silt verses #this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WASNT A LOBSTER MONSTER.....

[pogasm]

I’m WHITe????????? I CANT FUCKING BREATE

#This is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

[racingreen]

How did I get in this situation lmaoooooo

#this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me #paige.txt

[stardust41]

I'm here to share with you guys the best interaction I've ever had with an AI

#papyrus undertale #papyrus ai #this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me

[mellifexfarm]

in case anyone was wondering how absolutely insane and toxic the old people pigeon fancier fandom is i just got called a dyke because my pigeons are the wrong color

#d slur #THIS is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me online.

[sergle]

pov you’re scrolling through my inbox from tonight

#there are VISIBLE STINK LINES COMING FROM MY INBOX #this is simultaneously the funniest thing that has ever happened. and the worst. I am experiencing real death #this is the MOST shellshocked i have been reading through a night's asked and also the MOST sure i've been that yall #LIE DELIBERATELY to me for the sake of an ask being wild or funny enough to post #sergle answers #the alternation of insane messages and people going 'your inbox wild.' #i will re clarify. i have been laughing at these #but i've also been sitting at my desk looking exactly like the above pic

[todayisafridaynight]

sorry that im obsessed with him <- is not sorry

#snap chats #this is my favorite cutscene in the game it has everything i want and need #i love that first screenshot so much......... top ten frames of ryo aoki ever #i want an aoki photocard of it wahhh hes so cute and pookie </3 #i also like the hand detail we see int he second one....... very nice.... #i love this cutscene cause he gets deadnamed live and thats still the funniest thing to ever happen in rgg to me #'sir youre trending theyre beating your ass in the qrts' DO NOT CARE THAT I MADE THAT JOKE ALREADY. I WAS REAL FOR IT #anyway hes sooooo cuute sorryyy thats my truth #he just looks like a little lad <- hes 43. or wouldve been (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) #every time i remember the game being like 'ryo aoki is young as hell to be doing this bullshit' i cakcle #maybe he just /looks/ too young yk... round faces be damned you will never look older than fifteen #i still stand that he constantly looks lke he got a frog in his mouth #oh but. Genuine Appreciation Time it is very cute how this cutscene starts with him lit so well and then just. Dark LOL #VERY OBVIOUS AND EASY SYMOBLISM BUT I DONT CAAARRREEE i always live for it #anyway he cutie patootie awwww i wanna pinch his cheeks and then shove him back into a locker

[peaches2217]

When I was in college, I wrote a lot of fanfiction for Kung Fu Panda and was involved in the fandom sphere here on Tumblr. A grown-ass adult — I forget her exact age but I know she was at least a good bit older than me — wrote an entire callout post while I was working on my first smut fic, calling me, and I quote, a stain on society for writing sexual content for the series. Didn’t matter that said content explicitly occurred between two consenting adult characters, didn’t matter that I took pains to ensure it was properly tagged and unwitting underage readers wouldn’t stumble upon it; “It’s a series for children, you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking about these characters like that!”

“Stain on Society” actually ended up becoming my smut tag, and I wrote enough smut that, to this day, muscle memory will still occasionally lead me to tagging my more sexually-charged posts in such a manner. So if ever I make a heartfelt smutty post and you see “stain on society” in the tags, now you know why. 😆

#I’ve got a sexy mareach ask in the drafts and just automatically tagged it ‘stain on society’. this has happened repeatedly in the past #so please enjoy this bit of peaches lore! #mu-laohu if ever you read this I forgive you but I’ll never forget #we were both real pieces of work back then. mid-late 2010s drama amirite? #but that was still one of the funniest things that ever happened to me in a fandom space and I will always cherish it dearly