#this is sapphic you can't tell me otherwise

[the-evil-twin]

An Affair of Honour by Emile-Antoine Bayard (1884)

#an affair of honour #painting #this is sapphic you can't tell me otherwise #swordfighting lesbians #swords #sword fight #duel #sapphic #emile-antoine bayard #art #victorian

[citronwolf]

Lily & Eileen // Bad Girls (1994) dir. Jonathan Kaplan

#90s movies #westerns #drew barrymore #andie macdowell #movie gifs #they were in love #you can't tell me otherwise #hence why i'm tagging it like this despite not being explicitly canon #wlw gifs #wlw yearning #sapphic

[master-sass-blast]

Let's Call it a Draw Between Us -Chapter One: Defeat.

Author's Note (uploading multiple works tonight, so I'm slapping this on all the fics I'm posting):

Uh... hi.

It's been a very long time. Longer than I'd hoped for, but suffice to say, this year hasn't gone according to plan.

In sum, I had a mental breakdown in Spring, got diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome in July, my husband totaled his car in September, I was sick for the whole month of October, my husband found a new (used) car... and then hit a deer at the end of November, and the insurance company ruled that it was totaled because the repair costs would be worth more than the value of the car.

Yeah.

There's been other shit, too, but part of what I've learned with the new diagnosis is that my body does not regulate or cope with stress well -which I sort of already knew, but it's to a vaster extent than I'd known. Essentially, this past year has just taken me out at the knees, and it will probably take my body a while to regulate and function well again.

I still want to write and post fics, but I now have a lot of anxiety around not being able to write and post fics (along with other things that my befuckened body interferes with), which is just... a lot. And frustrating.

I'm not throwing in the towel. But I also can't promise any sort of posting schedule moving forward. Right now, my body and brain are just too unpredictable, and I have to make sure I'm taking care of my basic needs (like eat and hygiene and sleeping, it's literally that difficult to deal with) so that I'm physically okay.

Thank you all for being so patient. I hope to see you more regularly in the coming New Year, but if not, know that I'm okay and still kicking, but that my body's just kicking back for the time being.

Much love and best of wishes to you all for the New Year!

Summary: Sevika pines. She drinks. Then she competes in some arm wrestling and makes some very sapphic eye contact.

She loses, loses again, and then she wins.

Or maybe she wins all three times. It depends on your point of view.

(Basically just a very self-indulgent fic that spawned from an idea about Sevika and a big, buff Reader that I'll probably never get around to writing in full, so I wrote this as a way of honoring that idea.)

Pairing(s): Sevika/Reader.

Rating: M for some sensual themes and making out.

Word Count: 10.1k. Whoops.

You drive her to drink.

Speaking of… Sevika leans against the bar and snaps her fingers at Thieram. “Whisky, neat. Half a glass.” She narrows her eyes when he raises his eyebrows at her, then scoffs and goes back to staring across the room once he jumps to. Idiot.

She hadn’t expected much out of you after she first met you. Properly met you, that is. Technically, her first introduction to you had been in an underground fighting ring stocked by Stillwater’s hardier, more opportunistic patrons. You’d made quick work of the other prisoners, but Silco had wanted a proper evaluation before deciding whether or not to scoop you up, so in she’d gone. She’d socked you in the jaw, you��d suplexed her through a shitty wooden table. Good times.

She hasn’t had any complaints about you. You’re quiet, compliant. You don’t get drunk on the job, and you don’t start fights with the rest of the crew.

But that seems to be about it. You don’t really hang out with anyone else. You’ll talk to her every now and then, but otherwise you keep to yourself. You don’t play cards with the others, shoot pool, or share drinks. No swapping of stories, or exchanging inside jokes. From what she can tell, you keep to yourself like a hermit in an invisible cave.

Like a shadow, she reflects as you hang back in your usual spot (towards the back of the bar, tucked into darkness, where no one bothers you). If you’re not watching it, you forget it’s there.

She’d thought that was it. She’s seen plenty of people leave Stillwater and fall into violence, or inebriation, or withdrawn sullenness. She figured you were a tragic statistic –yet another to add to Zaun’s tally.

And then…

Her upper lips curls when Jinx comes bounding down the stairs. She tracks the blue-haired sprite across the bar, over to where you’re sitting, then scoffs when you greet Jinx with a small smile before glaring down at her glass.

It’s like watching a flower unfurl after weeks of frost. You smile and open up towards the sun of Jinx’s exuberance like you’ve been doing it your whole life, like there’s nothing more natural to you than beaming at Silco’s brat. And, sure, Jinx is a kid and she’s kind of cute, for a demented gremlin. But she’s still Jinx.

Sevika scowls down into her whiskey. Fucking psycho kid.

You’d called it kismet when she’d asked why you tolerate Silco’s batty brat. You’d lost your baby sister when you’d gone into prison, Jinx had lost Vi after the factory explosion, and then, years later, the universe had brought you two together and balanced everything back out, or fucking whatever.

She supposes it’s a decent arrangement. Jinx isn’t nearly as vicious and off kilter with you around, and you get all soft, and mushy, and happy, and pretty–

Sevika motions to Thieram to top her glass up again. Fuck me.

You’re protective of Jinx, too. Not that the brat can’t handle herself (Sevika has her new arm to prove that). But, she can still remember the night Finn’s gang had crowded into the Last Drop. They’d been obnoxious, and overbearing, and more than a little sloshed. Jacen, one of Finn’s “good buddies,” had slapped Jinx across the ass as a joke.

He’d done it in front of Silco. He was a dead man regardless.

Before anyone –even Jinx–could react, though, you’d lurched out of your chair, grabbed the sledgehammer you keep with you in lieu of a knife or a gun, and taken two long strides across the bar. “Jacen!”

Sevika’s core clenches at the memory. She lets out a harsh breath, then gulps down half her drink.

The crimson, glittering spray of blood through the air had been beautiful. Like gems cascading through the air. Jacen’s face had caved in on one side from where you drove the head of the hammer all but through it. He’d dropped to the floor in a heap, unmoving.

“Anyone else want to have a go?”

She’d gotten herself off to the thought of it that very night. The fury in your eyes, the decisive, powerful movements of your body, the splatter of blood. She’d climaxed harder than she had in a long time.

The whiskey burns her throat –expected and grounding.

She takes it without coughing or gasping. She’s been an expert for decades. Her jaw works as she finishes swallowing, and then she turns her head so she can watch you again.

You’re listening and nodding while Jinx rambles. There’s a certain attentiveness to your expression. Maybe it’s the angle of your eyebrows, or the soft, lax look of your jaw, or the brightness in your eyes. Whatever it is, it’s a total abandonment from both the harsh, dominating fury she’s seen from you, and the skittish, withdrawn apathy.

Something soft and needy aches beneath her ribs as she watches you with Jinx. Sevika grits her teeth and exhales with practiced languor. I’ve gone fucking soft.

Sevika doesn’t consider herself possessive. She visits the brothel far too regularly, and has more than a handful of casual “situationships” with different ladies around Zaun to be possessive. She’s not monogamous, at least. She doesn’t think of other people as property. The children of Zaun don’t have the luxury of such affluent detachment.

But she wants you. It’s like this thing that sits beneath her ribs and crawls around inside her. It’s restless, and writhing, and it gnaws on her bones like a feral dog in the dark corner of an alley. It keeps her up at night with racing thoughts, vivid hopes, and half-formed “what ifs.”

It also keeps her up at night because, more often than not, she winds up masturbating to the thought of you –like some starstruck, gods-damned teenager.

She’s not used to wanting –not for companionship, at least. She wants her freedom, wants her equality, wants Zaun to stand strong against those fucking Piltie pigs… but that’s about Zaun. There’s a certain degree of detachment there. It’s not about Sevika personally, the woman who is renowned at the Gardens, beats everyone’s ass in cards, and can drink any citizen of Zaun under the table. The woman who got blown up and survived, lost an arm and came back stronger, and practically rules the Undercity with a steel spine and a –literal–iron fist.

She doesn’t want for company. Any attention she wants, she can easily get. She doesn’t stay up half the night yearning for anyone, much less a… lover? Companion? Affection?

Sevika knocks back the rest of her drink, but the burning in her throat pales in comparison to the ache in her chest. Janna, kill me. Put me out of my fucking misery.

She wants you. She wants to get her hands on you, get you underneath her (or on top of her, she’s not picky), and crack you open. She wants to drink you down, watch all that rage and goodness and steeliness and softness pour out. She wants to find its source and let it all wash over her. She wants it –needs it–for herself.

She wants it to be hers, even in part. She wants to bask in everything you keep held back by your silent, stoic mask.

There’s a headache forming behind her left eye. Probably from clenching her teeth; ever since the scars on her face crystalized, the muscles on the left side of her jaw have been more sensitive to strain.

She’s not used to this –this, this insipid, endless pining. It’s been going on for months now, and she’s just about ready to put a fork in her eye just to make it fucking end.

She barks at Thieram to get her another glass. Drink until you feel nothing. Zaun’s oldest remedy. She leans heavily against the bartop, then groans beneath her breath. Might as well buy the whole bottle. Against good sense, she resumes watching you. Warmth spreads through her chest when you grin at Jinx, and she bites the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

“Y’know, somehow, I don’t think she’s going to figure out you like her just from you staring at her like a creep through a window.”

Sevika tenses, then glares at Ran as they sit down on the barstool next to hers. She picks up her refilled glass with her left hand and lifts it to her lips. “Fuck off. Nobody asked you.”

Ran stays where they are –a credit to their courage, at least. They smirk, then glance across the bar, to where you’re sitting, before returning their knowing, smug gaze to Sevika. “It’d be easier if you talked to her.”

“Shut. Up.”

“I’m just trying to save you the eyestrain.” They grin, thin and sharp, when Sevika flips them off, then lean against the wooden countertop. “Seriously, though. Why not ask her out?”

Sevika scowls and focuses on her whiskey glass, which is suddenly very interesting. “S’not that simple.”

“Why not?”

Sevika nearly kicks them off the stool and onto the floor (just for starters), but when she catches a look at Ran’s face and realizes they’re not teasing, she sighs and scrubs her face with her right hand. “I… I don’t know what she’d say.”

“Since when is that a problem for you?” Ran asks, face twisting with equal parts mirth and disbelief. When Sevika rolls her eyes, they shove her shoulder lightly. “It’s not like you ever have to work for it.” They pause, then smirk devilishly. “Maybe it’s weakened your game. Is that it?”

Sevika glares at them, then kicks Ran in the shin when they start snickering. “I’m gonna smother you in your sleep. And for your information, you giggling bastard, that’s not the problem.” When Ran swallows their smile and motions for her to continue (while rubbing at their shin), she huffs. “I –I don’t know if she likes women.”

Ran’s visible eyebrow arches. “You’ve seen her.”

“...Duh.”

“She likes women.” When Sevika grimaces, Ran narrows their eyes. “You think otherwise?”

“I don’t think she likes anybody,” Sevika admits; doing so is somehow both a relief and condemning all in one. “You’ve seen her around people. She’s not exactly interested.”

“Not everyone likes a girl in their lap the way you do.”

“That’s not the point,” Sevika snarls under her breath as she rolls her eyes.

“Then what is?”

It’s not easy to articulate. Sure, it’s an unspoken, universally acknowledged truth in Zaun, but that doesn’t mean anyone ever says it.

People go into Stillwater, and they come out –if they come out at all–different. Broken. You spent most of your life in that shithole –spent most of your teenage years there–at the anti-mercy of the wardens and other prisoners. It only stands to reason that any part of you inclined towards a relationship –or sex, or human contact–got snuffed out by the need to survive.

She feels bad for you, sometimes. Only when it’s too quiet, and she doesn’t have anything to do, and she’s not drunk and-or high enough to keep her thoughts from wandering to the dark, traitorously soft corners of her mind. She can almost see the child you started as –fiery, but so soft and good and kind–and it all got stomped out by the assholes ruling above them.

Sevika forces herself to loosen her death grip on the glass. Breaking it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but she hates picking shards out of the grooves of her mechanical fingers. “You haven’t seen her around Silver. She touched her shoulder–” she nods at you subtly “–without warning. I thought she was gonna break Silver’s fingers.”

“That’s Silver,” Ran says with a derisive curl of their upper lip. “She wouldn’t know the meaning of ‘boundaries’ if it rammed itself up her ass.”

They’re not wrong; the young woman’s brazen attitude is one of the things Sevika likes about Silver –albeit in small doses.

“She doesn’t talk to anyone,” Sevika murmurs, pathetic by her own standards. She’s worn down enough, though, to speak plainly. “She doesn’t go to any of the brothels, or take anyone home –and, yes, I’ve asked. She hates being touched, or being near anyone.” She presses her lips together to keep a pitiful smile back –she’d never forgive herself–then downs more whiskey. The burn of the liquor grounds her, brings her back to normalcy. “I don’t think she’s interested.”

Ran nods minutely, mulling the evidence over. They watch you for a minute, hawkish in their scrutiny. “She sits with Jinx.”

“Jinx,” Sevika grits out (both because it’s Jinx, and because of the implication of Ran’s observation), “is a kid.”

“She is,” they agree, unfazed. “But, clearly, she’s not entirely opposed to all human contact.”

Like I don’t fucking know that. Sevika clenches her teeth together to keep from snapping. She’s observed the same damn thing, and it’s what keeps that whining, consuming, itching ember of hope burning in her chest.

Ran watches Sevika for a moment, then continues when she doesn’t say anything. “She sits with you.”

“That’s different,” Sevika says on reflex.

“I don’t think it is,” they press. “She never sits with anyone else. It’s either on her own, with Jinx, if she’s here, or with you.”

“I–”

“It’s not like she’s in it for playing cards,” Ran continues, staring Sevika down when she tries to argue. “And she doesn’t drink much, either.” They prop one elbow against the bartop. “Frankly, if you’re not here, then she isn’t. She only bothers hanging around if you’re here.”

“That’s–”

“She talks to you a lot, too,” Ran drawls, tone both teasing and reflective. “The rest of us are lucky to get a word or two from her, but she’ll talk the whole night with you.”

“I’m–”

“She lets you touch her, too. I’ve even seen her touch your shoulder in return.”

“If you interrupt me again–”

“Quit moping,” Ran says, voice flat and final. “Ask her out, or get over it.”

There’s a lot she could say to that. First of all, no one accuses her of moping. But she tucks it away for later; she doesn’t want to start kicking Ran’s ass in front of everyone, because that means the trigger point for said ass kicking will inevitably become common knowledge. Her feelings are nobody’s business but hers. Second of all, no one but Silco tells her what to do, and that’s only for work. She is the only damn master of her personal life, thank you very fucking much. Third, she knows for a fact that Ran spent nearly two years pining for one of Silco’s assassins, so they’ve got zero room to talk shit.

Sevika downs the rest of her drink, then motions for a third refill. “She’s not interested.”

Ran stares at her for a moment. Then, they scoff and shake their head. “You’re an idiot.”

Sevika glares harshly at them–

The door to Silco’s office creaks open, then thumps shut, followed by the man himself quietly descending the staircase to the bar floor. “Jinx.” He finishes buttoning his trench coat shut. “Pack up your things. We’re going home.”

“What?” Jinx’s face screws into the picture of teenage consternation. The baby fat on her cheeks makes her look younger still. “But–”

“It’s alright.” You quickly and neatly arrange her blueprints and drawings into a single stack, then hand them to the blue-haired youngster. “We can talk later, okay?”

Envy curls in Sevika’s gut when Jinx hugs you and you reciprocate with one arm. She turns away and hides her scowl behind her glass. Fucking brat.

Silco addresses the rest of his crew, “I trust that you’re all competent enough to avoid burning the place to the ground?” He arches his good eyebrow, then smirks when a mix of serious answers and half-drunk jokes rise up from the crowd. “Good enough.” He turns to face Sevika and tosses her a key. “You decide when the bar closes.”

She catches the key with her right hand, then flips Petrichor off with her left when they start grumbling under their breath about Sevika being in charge. She raises her glass to Silco in lieu of a spoken fair well, then knocks the rest of it back when he leaves out the rear with Jinx in tow. “Fucking finally. Theo! Put something good on for a change.”

“Are you having another?”

Sevika looks down as Silver –one of Silco’s personal spies–materializes at her side. She eyes the younger woman –her tight dress, high ponytail, and alluring make up–then looks away. Not with you. “Probably not. Best to take it easy.”

“Since when?” Ran mutters under their breath.

Sevika subtly kicks their stool, then looks down when Silver situates herself between her legs.

“You sure?” Silver pouts –which does stir something in Sevika, given Silver’s plush lips and deep-colored lipstick, but it’s not the something that she wants tonight. Silver bats her eyelashes a little, then smiles coyly. “Could be fun.”

Sevika bites back a scowl; she doesn’t want to put Silver off permanently –not yet, anyway. She wracks her brain for some sort of believable excuse that even Silver would accept–

As fortune would have it, one falls into her lap.

“–pretty sure I hit three-fifty yesterday–”

A collective chorus of groans alerts Sevika to the newest problem –chiefly, that Arik is bragging about his “gym gains.” Again.

Nevermind that she could break him over her knee like a fucking twig.

“It’s taken a lot of dedication and hard work.” Arik stretches and flexes, preening while everyone else rolls their eyes. “I don’t want to brag, but I’m probably the strongest member in the crew.”

Sevika arches one eyebrow in judgment; it’s ludicrous, considering that he’s ignoring her, the bouncers, Leon and Boris, and Lock, Silco’s mountainous, tattooed henchman that works security at the Shimmer plants. Why do we even put up with you?

Theo barks out a laugh. “Fat fucking chance, dickwad. No way in hell you’re the strongest person here. Pretty sure Miss Silver could knock you on your ass.”

“I’d take that bet,” Silver chimes in, twirling a lock of her straight, powder purple hair around her finger.

Arik pouts, looking like a spoiled teenager. “Oh, yeah? Who’s strongest, then? You?”

“No.” Theo shakes his head. “I don’t have delusions of grandeur like you. Nah, it’s probably…” He looks around the bar, eyeing the bouncers, then Sevika, before twisting in his seat so he can see the back of the bar. “Actually, it’s probably Mouse, here.”

It takes you a moment to register the nickname foisted upon you by the rest of the crew. You lift your head, blink a few times, then straighten up. “What?”

“Cuntface here–” Theo jerks his thumb over his shoulder at Arik, who sputters and wheezes like a dying engine “–thinks he’s the strongest person in the crew. I wagered that title would probably go to you.”

“Oh.” You look around at everyone, then nod. “Okay.”

Arik huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “There’s –there’s no way to prove that! Size isn’t everything!”

Sevika bites back a smirk as every single woman in the bar glances at each other and rolls their eyes.

“You’re shitting me, right?” Theo sneers at Arik. “Look at her, and look at you. It’s not going to be much of a competition.”

“You can’t prove that!” Arik insists, expression petulant.

Theo swivels in his seat to face you again. “Can you knock him out to shut him the fuck up?”

“No one’s doing that,” Sevika pipes up when everyone starts chattering and laughing excitedly. When people start grousing, she levels the room with a hard, final glare. “We’re not paying to get blood out of the floorboards. Again. If you all want to be idiots and knock the shit out of each other, you do it on your own time and floors, where I don’t have to clean up after your fucking mess.”

There’s a lull, and for a moment it seems like that’ll be it–

Silver perks up. “What about arm wrestling?”

“Hey,” Ran drawls, eyes lighting up. “That could work.”

“Anything to get this moron to shut the fuck up,” Theo grumbles.

Arik pouts, but says nothing.

When she realizes everyone is looking for her –presumably for permission, not that anyone’s ever bothered asking before–Sevika waves one hand dismissively. “Knock yourselves out.”

You watch as a table is cleared and Theo all but shoves Arik into a chair. When everyone looks expectantly at you, you shoot a wide-eyed, somewhat panicked glance her way.

Sevika offers you a half smile, then shrugs as if to say ‘it’s your choice.’

You shrug back, then sigh before standing. You stride over to the awaiting table and sit opposite a very grumpy, red-faced Arik.

Sevika shifts on her stool so she has a better view. Heat unfurls in her core as you prop one elbow against the table. She watches the way the thick muscles in your arm and forearm ripple with each movement. Damn.

Arik shifts in his seat. His eyelid twitches as he eyes your arm and hand. “I– I don’t know–”

“Take her fucking hand,” Theo growls.

Arik swallows hard, then props his elbow on the table and takes hold of your hand.

“On go,” Ran declares –they’ve left the bar and now stand beside the table. “Three… two… one… go!”

It’s not even a competition. If anything, it’s almost pathetic.

Arik tenses his arm –then squeaks when you push his hand down so fast he nearly falls out of his chair. The back of his hand hits the wooden surface of the table with a dull thonk. He lets out an angry snarl, yanks his hand away, then lurches to his feet and storms off with such force that his chair topples to the floor.

Everyone else cheers and claps as the front door of The Last Drop slams shut behind Arik.

“Fucking finally,” Theo mutters before running one hand through his curly hair. He looks at you and smiles appreciatively. “Thanks for shutting him up. Want a drink?”

You lean back and away. “I –I’m good, thanks.”

“That wasn’t even a challenge, though!” Silver pipes up, pouting.

“We already knew it wouldn’t be,” Theo fires back drily.

“But,” Ran interjects with a wry edge to their voice, “if we’re really trying to figure out who’s strongest…” 

Sevika presses her lips into a thin line when they turn and look directly at her. Don’t you fucking dare.

“Do you think you could beat Sev?”

Traitor.

You look at her, then lean back in your seat and grin. “Oh, yeah. Easy.”

Sevika feels her brows rise up, and she grins back despite being annoyed with Ran literal seconds ago. “Really? That’s the stance you want to take?”

“I mean…” You shrug and smirk. “It’s the truth.” You raise one eyebrow as buzzed laughter and inebriated runs through the gang. “What, you're too scared to test it?”

Them’s fighting words. Sevika cocks her head to the side, smirks right back, then shoves off her barstool and stalks over to the table.

Your eyes light up as she sits down across from you. You lean forward, prop one elbow on the tabletop, and grin. “It’s nothing personal, Sev.”

The crooked angle of your grin makes her heart flutter in a delightful, squirmy manner. She swallows hard, forces down the childish feelings of elation, and props one elbow on the table without dropping your gaze. She smirks, and revels in the way your eyes dance in the bar lighting. “Nothing personal, sweetheart,” she fires back, making sure her voice comes out lower and huskier.

Your grin broadens. You clasp her hand and squeeze tight while Theo counts down…

“Three, two, one–”

Oh shit.

It’s like shoving against a wall. Granted, Sevika’s shoved, kicked, and punched a number of walls in her day. She’s left her mark –even broken a few–on nearly all of them. She likes to think that she’s a reasonably strong, generally indestructible motherfucker.

You watch her for a few moments, expression placid –save for the smug, wicked, coy, sexy smirk on your lips. You let her try for a little longer, then inhale sharply and blink rapidly. “Wait, did we start already?”

“Fuck you,” Sevika grits out without any real malice.

You grin, showing a brilliant, alluring flash of teeth –and then you push.

“Shit.” Sevika strains against your arm.

To her credit, she feels your own arm waver slightly; to your credit, you brace your muscles, and it’s like pushing against a wall again.

She grits her teeth and tries to up the ante again. She curses when it doesn’t work, then grunts when you push her arm down another fraction of an inch.

“You okay, baby?” You grin when everyone else laughs (it’s a mix of delight and shock). “It’s okay if you need to tap.”

She grins back. Right now, she doesn’t care if she loses. Frankly, if you keep flirting with her like this, she’s the real winner in this scenario. “Keep it up, baby. We’ll see who taps.”

It’s a lost cause. You take your sweet time, push her hand down smooth and slow, and talk a lot of smack all the while.

She’s got less than an inch between the table top and the back of her right hand, now. You’re not even actively pushing, more just keeping her pinned at that point. She grunts, then laughs when your arm doesn’t budge. “Come on, you cunt. Just fucking finish it!”

You laugh in return and wink. “You’re getting tired in your old age, Sev.”

She grins. “Say that again and we’ll take this out back, bitch.”

You wink –then shove the back of her hand down against the table.

The crowd clustered around the table breaks into cheers.

Sevika can’t find it in herself to give a shit. Yeah, she lost, people are teasing her for it, whatever. She’ll kick their asses later, if she feels like it. Right now, you’re laughing, and smiling at her, and she technically got to hold your hand. That’s all she really cares about.

“What about the other one?”

Sevika blinks a few times, then frowns, confused. She looks up at Theo. “Huh?”

“Her other arm.” He’s talking to you, but he turns and gestures to her mech arm. “What about that one?”

“Uh…” Trepidation flashes across your face as you eye her prosthetic. You cringe and lean back in your chair. “I doubt it.”

It’s fair; her mech arm is reinforced, has motors that work the joints the way her muscles used to, and it’s heavy as shit. She’s crushed bones with her mechanical hand, just by clenching her hand into a fist.

But, still. In for a penny, stupid ways of flirting –all that shit.

She props her metal elbow on the table, resulting in a muted thud.

The table quakes beneath the weight of her arm.

She grins in a way that she hopes is taunting and enticing. She holds up her left hand and waggles her fingers. “You scared, sweetheart?”

Your eyes flash. You run your tongue along the inside of your lower lip. You brace your forearms against the table as you eye her metal hand. You hesitate, pressing your lips together, then say, “Just don’t crush my hand.”

“Nah.” She shakes her head. She’s not out for revenge.

Your shoulders relax. You cock your head from side to side, stretching your neck, then put your left elbow on the table and clasp her mechanical hand. “Bring it on. Sweetheart.”

It’s a more even match; she’d certainly hope so, given the fucking mechanical arm.

There’s a vein popping out on the side of your neck. Your face is pinched, expression one of intense focus and strain. The muscles in your arm and forearm stand out in full, glorious relief, defined and rippling as you fight against the force of her arm.

Her arm isn’t shaking this time, at least; such are the merits of steel reinforcement bars. But she’s not moving your hand, either. Sevika growls. The motors in her arm whir as she pushes harder.

You grunt and shove back. You bare your teeth. Your gaze is locked on where your two hands are joined. Your hands trembles from the sheer force of your exertion–

And then her hand lowers an inch.

Everyone else gasps. Exclamations and expletives roll through the bar.

“Fifty gold pieces says Mouse does it,” Theo says. 

“Bullshit,” Ran fires back. “She’ll get tired, first.”

Kharim pulls out a pad of paper and a pencil. “That’s fifty on Mouse, so far. Do I hear one hundred?”

“I’ll put twenty on Sev,” Silver says with a sweet smile.

“Really?” Sevika grunts as she pushes harder against your hand. “Only twenty?”

You let out a breathless, strained laugh –then push her hand down further.

“Who’s got another fifty on Mouse?” Kharim asks.

Too late, she realizes her prosthetic arm is actually working against her, in this situation. She has to work against the weight of the mech arm –which you can use to your advantage, naturally. The built in mechanical safeties are hosing her, too. Her arm is designed such that, at certain angles or certain levels of exertion, the gears and motors will give to whatever she’s working against. It prevents damage to the internal mechanisms and bending the internal support structures. It’s invaluable for the longevity of her prosthetic, but it also means she can’t mindlessly strain against your hand like she could with her right arm. Her only hope is that her left arm can outmatch yours in raw strength.

Normally, she’d go all in on that bet. Normally –unless her opponent was doped to the gills on Shimmer–there wouldn’t even be enough force in the picture for the failsafes to override the locking mechanisms.

You growl, teeth bared in a glorious snarl, and shove her metal hand lower.

She can’t even find it in herself to be mad. One, she’s not some mealy-mouthed bitch who needs to be the strongest person in the room at all times; she, unlike some people (Arik), is confident in herself and her abilities. Two, it’s frankly impressive. It’s an unrepentant display of raw strength, and she’s not above respecting it. Three…

It’s hot.

She’s torn between focusing on resisting you and watching the muscles in your arm flex. Her mild buzz isn’t helping, either. In hindsight, should’ve stopped with the second glass. It’s taking far too much focus not to just gawk, to grin and simper like an idiot, and she likes to think she still has her pride –which is also why she’s not just giving up. After all, she has her pride. Sevika growls when you force her hand lower, then doubles down and pushes back. Maybe not for much longer, with how this is going. Fuck.

You grit your teeth. There’s sweat glistening along your hairline (which might be her only other saving grace, since her mech arm can’t get tired). You snarl, then grip her hand tighter.

Sevika swears when her arm suddenly jerks downward. She nearly topples out of her chair, saved only by managing to plant her feet beneath the table. She catches herself, blinks–

It’s over.

You shove her metal knuckles against the table with a thud –hard enough that the wood dents inward where her steel knuckle guard hits the surface.

The crowd goes nuts, loses their minds, whatever. If she’s being honest, she’s really not paying attention to it. A distant fragment of her brain registers the squaring of bets, exchanging of coin, but–

You’re still holding her hand.

A larger, deeply buried part of her is furious that she doesn’t have better sensory input on her left hand. She can detect pressure and temperature, rudimentary shit, but she can’t feel the calluses on your palm, or the precise texture of your skin. She can’t really gauge how thick your hand is in hers.

You’re still panting, somewhat dazed as you stare down at your joined hands. Slowly, your eyes trace up the line of her mech arm, up to her face, where you take in her stunned expression. You swallow, quick, then grin.

You’re breathing hard. Your skin glistens faintly with warmth. Your hair looks tousled, slightly sweat trapped. And your grin practically glows.

It’s the closest she’s ever been to seeing what you look like after sex. Sevika can feel her mind filing every single detail of how you look away for future masturbatory reference. She grins back, slow and a bit dazzled. “Shit.”

You let out a soft, quiet laugh. You drop her gaze for a moment, but when you look back up your eyes shine unabated joy.

You’re not looking away. You’re not pulling away. You’re not letting go of her hand.

Do it, a voice that sounds irritatingly like Ran’s whispers in her mind. Do it, you fucking coward. Sevika licks her lips, then leans forward, hoping that she comes across as conspiratorial and collected. “I–”

“Aw, don’t feel too bad, Sev.”

The sudden intrusion feels more like an assault. Fake, sweet perfume cloys at her nose. There’s arms around her neck, and unwanted weight in her lap.

Silver’s face looms into view. She peers down through her lashes, lips posed in a perfect, alluring pout. “It’s not–”

Whatever else Silver says goes in one ear and out the other. She’s looking over the smaller woman’s shoulder, instead.

You pull your hand back across the table. Your smile slips away, and your shoulders bunch up ever so slightly. Back to the usual mask of the careful, quiet mouse.

Godsdammit. Sevika shoves Silver out of her lap and stands with a snarl. “Fuck off.” She stomps away and up the stairs, to where Silco’s office and a few private rooms are. “Everyone, out! Tonight’s done!” She ignores the groans and jeers following her, storms into Silco’s office, and slams the door shut behind her so hard that it rattles in its setting.

Silco’s office is mercifully dark. Quiet.

Sevika collapses onto the quilted velvet couch tucked into the corner of the office. She drops her head into her hands and scrubs at her face. Janna’s left fucking tit, that was a disaster. She sits up, only to slump against the couch like a dejected teenager. This is never going to work out.

If she was anyone else, she might cry –out of sheer frustration, if nothing else. Since she’s not anyone else, she helps herself to a cigar from Silco’s stash.

She only gets as far as rummaging through his desk for the cutter. (Jinx must have absconded with it. Again.) Something in her hindbrain makes her go still; an old, well-tested instinct that says ‘something isn’t right.’

Sevika freezes. Her eyes scan the darkness for any signs of intruders, or one of Jinx’s traps. She strains her ears; aside from the faint, scuttling noises of stray pests, it’s silent.

Too silent.

There should be more talk coming from downstairs; she hadn’t really expected everyone to listen to her when she ordered them all to clear out. There should be music playing, people arguing, clacks from the balls on the pool table. At the very least, there should be complaining and the noises of a final clear down.

She’d half-expected Silver to follow her upstairs. Or maybe Ran, at least. But there’s no sounds of someone climbing upstairs, or Silver’s high-pitched voices, or even creaking floorboards in the hall outside.

Sevika pulls out a knife she keeps tucked in a sheath hidden behind the waistband of her pants. She creeps forward, deadly silent, until she reaches the door of Silco’s office. She gingerly places her right hand on the doorknob, until it’s completely encapsulated by her grip, then slowly turns the handle. Once the latch is fully retracted, she tucks herself behind the door and inches it open. She waits for a beat, then another, then peers around the corner.

The bar is empty.

Now that the door’s open, she can hear the sounds of someone rummaging around the main bar floor. There’s no conversation, though; it’s too quiet to be the usual crew, for another matter.

Sevika stalks down the hall. She quietly, efficiently clears each room before she passes it, until she reaches the end of the outer wall, where the balcony begins. She tucks herself into the shadows, then peers around the corner.

You’re down on the bar floor, putting the remaining chairs up on the tables.

Sevika watches you for a moment, somewhat dumbfounded. Where the fuck is everyone else? She blinks, until her brain finally processes that The Last Drop has not been broken into by assassins or other hooligans, then steps around the corner and into the full light of the bar. She taps the railing of the balcony with her metal hand to alert you to her presence. When you look up, she gestures around aimlessly. “Where’d they go?”

You look around, then back up at her and shrug with one shoulder. “You said to get out.”

“Doesn’t mean they’d actually listen.”

Your gaze cuts away from hers. You duck your head, then go back to putting up the chairs. “Might’ve pushed ‘em. Enforced the order.” You give a one shouldered shrug. “Thought you wanted ‘em gone.”

Sevika grunts and nods. Fair enough. At least, now, she doesn’t have to deal with Silver lingering around. For lack of knowing what else to do, she watches you as you continue tidying things up for the night. “We don’t pay you to do that.”

You shrug; your back’s to her, now, as you work your way around a circular table. “Doesn’t really matter. Thieram deserves a night off, every now and then.”

There’s not much point in loitering on the balcony and staring at you like a mooning idiot. She strides across the length of the balcony, tromps down the stairs, then crosses the distance to the table you’re working in three strong steps. She grabs one of the remaining chairs, flips it upside down with ease, then hooks the seat of the chair on the table top.

You go still for a moment. You watch her, gaze following her every movement, until you relax again and resume working. “‘M sorry ‘bout earlier.”

She nearly trips over the chair she’s picking up. Sevika stalls, blinks, then sets the chair back on the floor and levels you with an incredulous, confused stare. “What?”

“For kicking your ass.” The corner of your mouth briefly ticks up in a self-satisfied smirk, but it washes away to true contrition. “Wasn’t trying to humiliate you ‘n front of everyone.”

“I–” She pinches the bridge of her nose. Can’t imagine where that narrative came from. “I’m not. You didn’t.” She hangs the chair from the table, then scoffs, indignant. “Fuck’s sake, I’m not Arik.”

You smirk, but stay still as you watch her for a few moments. “You were mad about something.”

“I was mad at Silver,” Sevika grouses, careful to avoid making eye contact. And her lousy sense of timing.

You let her get the last few chairs, opting instead to grab a tray and collect stray glasses and empty beer bottles. “You two okay?”

She snorts. “We’re not involved enough to be ‘okay’ or otherwise. We’ve fucked before. End of story.”

“...Did she do something to you?”

The tight, lethal quietness in your voice gets her attention. She straightens up, meets your gaze, and shakes her head. “No. She just gets on my nerves now and then, s’all.”

You grunt, understanding, then add a couple more glasses to your tray before carrying the lot over to the bar.

Sevika grabs a couple stray, half-empty bottles of whiskey, tequila, and vodka, then follows partially in your wake. She stops at the bar counter, watching as you round the end so you can dispose of the beer bottles and set the used glasses in the sink. She sets the half-consumed bottles on the counter, then leans against the neon light-edged lip while she watches you. “Gotta say, it was pretty impressive.” She smirks when you half-turn, brows lightly drawn together, then waggles her metal fingers. “Figured I’d have you licked.”

You snort, then shake your head. “Might’ve.” You set the last of the glasses in the sink, then drop the beer bottles in the recycling can. “Probably would’ve if we’d gone longer. You’d have me beat on stamina.”

She can’t stop her automatic, teasing, too sultry for its own good reply. “Oh, I doubt that.”

You do a quick double take.You stare at her over your shoulders, eyes the size of dinner plates. Then, your lips press together before quirking upwards in a shy smile. You laugh softly. “Yeah, well, your mechanics would’ve won, in the end.” You toss the last of the bottles into the recycling can, then turn and step to the bar. “Figured it was just best to–” you draw your fingers across your neck in a quick slash and click your tongue “–cut things quick, override the locking mechanisms.”

“Smart,” Sevika purrs.

You lick your lips, then grin. You eye her for a moment, shifting from foot to foot –then, you grab the remaining bottles and crouch so you can stow them beneath the bar counter. “Course, helps that you’re shit at arm wrestling, too.”

“Excuse me?” she laughs, caught off guard and bemused. “Run that by me again?”

“You’re shit at arm wrestling.” You chuckle as you stand. “Your form’s terrible. Makes you easy to beat, even if I wasn’t stronger than you.”

She grins wide, exhilarated. Fighting words. “Oh, is that how it is?”

You plant your palms against the bartop. “‘S how it seems to me.” You smirk –which grows into a smile as she looks you over–then prop your right arm against the counter. “I could show you a couple tricks. Improve your odds a bit.”

She takes the bait like the happiest, dumbest fish that ever lived and sets her right elbow atop the counter. “Teach me your ways, oh wise one.”

“Right off the bat–” You reach forward and adjust the angle of her arm. “‘S really not about raw power. I mean, it helps, but angles are a lot more important.” Your hands slide along the length of her arm, adjusting things until you’re satisfied with how she’s positioned. You nod to yourself, then move to her wrist. You hold her right hand with both of yours. “Gotta think about how you’re holding your hand, too. Too many people wind up pushing with their forearms. Means that they got their hands at the wrong angle, most of the time. You want to be pushing with your upper arm and shoulder.”

“Whatever you say, coach,” she drawls, layering on the sarcasm to –hopefully–hide how breathless she is.

You snort, then lower your left hand and grip her right hand with yours –assume the position. “Alright. Try now.”

She does –not with as much vigor as she used in the initial match, but she still puts decent effort into it. Her eyebrows spike high when she feels less strain than earlier. “Shit.”

You flash her a lopsided grin. “See? Knowing what you’re doing helps.”

“Bite me.”

You fake a grimace. “Not until you shower first. I don’t know where you’ve been.”

“You implying something?”

“I’ve seen how many people you can beat up in a week, Sev.”

She chuckles, then shrugs in concession. “Fair enough.” She grips your hand tighter and smirks wickedly before shoving against your hand, hard. “Hope you’re ready to join the list–”

You grunt –then brace against her onslaught and force her hand the other way.

“Shit!” Sevika strains against your hand, but it’s veritably useless as you slowly push her hand downward (at least you have to work harder for it, this time). “Son of a bitch –motherfucker!”

“Still stronger than you,” you fire back as you finally pin the back of her hand against the bartop. You smile, impish and sweet. “But that was a good try.” You grin when she glowers at you, then toss your head back and laugh when she flips you off with her left hand.

She can’t think of a retort; the wrestling tugged your shirt off kilter, and your laugh exposed something new –fresh, smooth ink along the side of your neck, previously hidden by your collar. She stares, tracing the way the tendrils of the flowers curve around your neck and down your clavicle before disappearing under your shirt. “That’s new.”

You look down at her, blinking rapidly, then crane your neck to look down when she gestures loosely at your chest. “Oh. Yeah.” You shrug with the opposite shoulder. “Wanted to do something for myself. Cover up some of the shit I got inside.” You hesitate, then swallow hard and ask. “Do –do you wanna see the rest of it?”

“Sure.” The meaning of your offer doesn’t really hit until you let go of her hand so you can start unbuttoning your top. Sevika locks her knees to keep from toppling over as all the blood rushes Southward from her head. Janna, help me.

Mercifully, you only undo the top three buttons on your shirt. Unmercifully, that gives you enough leeway to push the right side of your shirt down over your shoulder, revealing more of your chest and your neck.

Oh, and the tattoo.

It’s pretty. It’s a good piece, too, done by someone who knew what they were doing. The design is a dense cluster of flowers that fans up the side of your neck and down over your collarbone.

“That’s real pretty,” Sevika ekes out, voice gone to gravel. She reaches up to touch it, but catches herself before her hand leaves the bar. Don’t startle her. “Do you mind?”

It takes you a moment, but you look down when she gestures with her flesh hand. “Oh.” You let out a soft, trembling breath. Your throat flexes as you swallow. “Yeah –go for it.”

Everything that follows feels like a dream. The world seems to take on a warm, golden hue that overpowers the glaring neon lights and the dark shadow of night outside. It feels like she’s moving through molasses, achingly slow as she lifts her hand towards your neck.

Your skin is unbelievably soft beneath her fingertips. The lines of ink stretch slightly as she traces down your neck and over your shoulder.

“This okay?” Sevika murmurs.

“Yeah.”

Something about your heavy, trembling exhale makes her look up.

You’re staring down at her with wide, dark eyes. Your lips are parted, and you’re practically panting despite standing still.

But you’re not pulling away. You’re not shaking. If anything, you’re practically melting beneath her hand. And your gaze is locked on her face –practically zeroed in on her mouth…

Oh.

She owes Ran a drink. Or another kick in the shin. Maybe both.

This, however, is at least more familiar territory –so long as she plays her cards right.

Various options flit through her mind, but they all desiccate before they reach her tongue. She quickly finds herself locking up instead as she tries to figure out what the fuck to say. Shitshitshitshitshit–

(She’s never been more grateful that you kicked everyone out. Ran would never let her live this down.)

“Ask her out, or get over it.”

Sevika swallows hard. Go big or go home. Not like the world’s gonna end if she says ‘no.’ She clears her throat. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re really fucking attractive?”

“I–” Your eyes go wide as you sputter. Your gaze flicks between her eyes and her mouth. “Not –no. Not really.”

“Shame,” Sevika drawls. She traces her thumb down the stem of one of the flowers inked into your neck, then looks back up at you. “You’d think they’d have eyes. I’ve noticed since the first time we met.”

You snort, equanimity somewhat restored. “What, in an illegal prison fight club soaked in the blood of others?”

She smirks and winks at you. “You made it work.”

You draw your lower lip between your teeth as you smile. You duck your head bashfully, then brace your forearms against the countertop –which puts you closer to her height. “I hope you won’t be offended if I say that I didn’t notice you ‘like that’ from the start.”

Her gut drops. “Oh?”

You shake your head, gaze still glued on the countertop. “I was, uh, a little concerned with surviving –making sure you didn’t knock my teeth out with your metal fist, that sort of thing.” You let out a little laugh, then look at her. “But I noticed later.”

Warmth blooms in her chest and abdomen. She grins, soft and slow. “Really?” Her grin grows when you smile shyly and nod. “Well, shit. Lucky me.” She strokes her thumb along your tattoo again; satisfaction curls in her stomach when you shiver.

“I–” You lick your lips and look at her eyes, then her lips, then back up, then back down again, then back up again. “I don’t…” Your gaze locks onto her lips when she smirks; your pupils blow wide, and you let out a ragged, heavy breath. “I’d really like to kiss you right now.”

Heady elation blooms in her chest and quickly spreads through her body. “That,” she murmurs as she slides her fingers beneath your chin and leans in, “sounds great to me.”

Your lips are soft against hers. Hesitant. You freeze, scarcely even breathing.

But you’re not pulling away –or panicking–so she decides to stay the course. She presses her lips a bit more firmly against yours, then smirks when you let out a quiet moan and angle your head towards hers. There we go. After a few moments, she breaks the kiss and pulls back incrementally to assess your interest level.

You’re trembling. There’s a faint glow of sweat on your forehead. Your breaths come ragged and fast, chest rising and falling heavily. Your eyelids are half-lidded, pupils blown so wide that your eyes nearly look black.

Before she can do anything, you lean in and kiss her again; this time, it’s her turn to moan against your mouth.

It’s clumsy. It’s easy to tell that you don’t have much –if any–experience in this department. But your unabashed eagerness more than makes up for lacking finesse.

Sevika gently grasps your jaw with her right hand, guiding you through the series of kisses that follow. She carefully angles your head as she pleases, and pulls back intermittently to both catch her breath and see what you’ll do. When you keep following her lead, she decides to nip at your lower lip –just to see if it’ll draw you out of your shell more.

You let out a throaty growl when her teeth graze your lower lip –and then you pull away.

A mix of disappointment and fear flash through her stomach –but it all drains away when you vault over the counter and land next to her. She smirks as you crowd into her space, but frown when genuine trepidation settles over your face. “What?”

Your brows pinch together. “I–” You clear your throat when your voice cracks. “I don’t… I don’t know what to do with my hands.”

Oh. That’s all. She smiles, lax and confident, then places her hands on your broad shoulders. “Touch me, sweetheart.”

“Where?”

She slides her hands down your chiseled arms, then takes your hands and places them on her hips. “Anywhere.”

You’re too still at first –nerves driven by inexperience. But you loosen up when she nips at your lower lip again. You draw in a guttural breath, then squeeze her hips tighter when she curls her fingers into your waist. You press closer to her when she slides her tongue against yours. When she slides her right hand up the back of your neck and tugs at the soft hair at your nape, you growl, then slide your hands around her ass and squeeze.

Finally. Sevika moans softly and arches against you. She wraps her right arm around the back of your neck, so she can keep you close, and rests her left hand on your hip. She plunders your mouth with her tongue, then moans again when you grope her ass more firmly. She hooks one metal finger through one of the belt loops on your pants and tugs you closer –then gasps when you shove against the bar.

You crowd against her, kissing her fiercely, eagerly. Your hands cup her ass and lift, forcing her onto the balls of her feet so you have better access to her.

Surprise flits up her spine. She’s not used to being in this position; most women come to her to be manhandled, not the other way around. But she can see the appeal of it; there’s a certain giddiness in the gut that accompanies it, like the hang time from jumping across rooftops.

The kiss devolves into something artless and hungry. The two of you meet each other in the middle, pressed against each other like teenagers in a closet.

She’s starting to get into that state where she feels like she’s melting into you, and vice versa. The bar, the faint drone of passersby always present in the Lanes, the buzz of the neon lights that wrap around the bartop, the arm wrestling match less than an hour ago –all of it’s gone, blurred into background coloration like splotches on one of those fancy, impression-type paintings, for which Pilties drop the equivalent of a Trencher’s life earnings (and then some). There’s that familiar, ravenous ache in her cunt. She ought to ask you back to her place; The Last Drop hardly seems poignant enough for your first time. But the notion of stopping your eager exploration of her body is downright offensive –especially when your open mouth catches her jaw and sends arousal curling through her gut.

You pause when she tips her head back. A few ragged pants fan across the sensitized, blood-hot skin of her neck. You swallow, then clear your throat. “I –is this–”

“Yes.” She curls her right hand around the back of your neck, then gently presses your forward until you lean the rest of the way in and press your lips against her throat. Her eyelids flutter as you trail soft, closed mouth kisses over the hollow of her throat. She moans softly, and her fingers curl into your short hair. Fuck. She waits for a bit, letting you explore, but pipes up again when she feels you growing more hesitant –nerves winning out over exploration. ���Use your tongue.” She shudders when you lick beneath her jaw. “Attagirl.”

The praise does something for you. You moan into her skin, then repeat the motion again. You swirl your tongue against her throat, mimicking the way the two of you had kissed seconds before.

“That’s it,” Sevika encourages you, eyes rolling back in her head. She rolls her hips against you, then groans when you press closer, neatly pinning her against the bar. “Good girl.”

You whine, loud and broken, then lift. You half lay her out on the bar, then support the rest of her by locking your arms just beneath her ass. You bend over her and bury your face in her neck, devouring her like a starved stray.

Sevika locks her ankles behind your back. She clutches at the back of your shirt with her right hand, and braces herself against the bartop with her left arm. She’s in the perfect position to grind against you, so that’s just what she does.

A small, idle fragment of her mind notes just how great this is. Yes, she enjoys having her way with women –and she’ll get to you soon enough–but there’s something to be said for receiving. It’s a new spin on “being eaten alive,” and she’s never been happier to be dinner.

She slides her fingers into your hair when your mouth trails lower, towards her clavicle. “Good girl.” She gasps, then tightens her grip on your hair when you drag your teeth over her collarbone. “That’s it –good girl, good girl–”

You moan and grind your hips against hers–

Something crashes in the alleyway outside. There’s a loud slam, followed by the crystalline crack of shattering glasses. An enraged, muffled shout ensues, followed by more heavy thudding.

You both freeze.

She recovers first. A few minutes of hearing proves it’s just a couple of angry drunks going at it –she can hear slurred, if muffled, arguing and grunting that accompanies being punched. Idiots. She turns back to you–

You’re completely stiff. Your eyes are wide, gaze flicking around the bar. You’ve gone from holding her to gripping the edge of the bar top.

Sevika winces faintly when she hears your knuckles crack. She opens her mouth to reassure you–

Another thud makes you flinch –and then you press down against her.

Sevika grunts. She tries to sit up, only for you to push her back down. She stops struggling when you use your arm to cover the top of her head. What the–

There’s something so deeply protective about the gesture that it makes her brain short circuit. You’re literally covering her with your body, as though the ceiling’s about to collapse on top of the both of you.

It’s sweet. It’s also bewildering because nothing bad is fucking happening. It’s just drunks in the alley; they’ll probably pass out long before they could ever beat each other to death.

Sevika gingerly splays her fingers against your back, between your shoulder blades. She murmurs your name, but gets no response –not even a glance of recognition. Her stomach drops when another round of shouting makes you flinch. She feels your chest push against hers as your breathing speeds up –and okay, that’s enough, time to divert things. She says your name, louder this time, then carefully cups the side of your face with her right hand. “Hey, baby. It’s okay. Just look at me, alright?”

You jolt when her thumb sweeps across your cheek. You do look down at her, though, and let out a shaky breath when you meet her gaze.

She revels, just for a moment, in how quickly you melt again under her attention. You’re still tense –you haven’t let up your death grip on the bar top–but your shoulders loosen up and your breathing slows a bit. You swallow hard, then lean every so slightly into her touch.

Focus. She can already feel herself getting sucked back into dreamy, brainless bliss. Focus, focus, focus. She blinks hard, then clears her throat. “Hey. Let’s get out of here, yeah? My place is quieter.” She pushes up on her left arm so the counter isn’t digging into her back. “More comfortable.”

“Oh.” Your eyes go wide. “Uh–”

Sevika swallows a grimace. Shit. Maybe Ran was right; she’s rusty, too eager, and now she’s pushing too fast. “It’s okay if you don’t–”

“No, no,” you cut her off. “We can –I just–” You set her down, then lick your lips as you rock from foot to foot. “My bed’s probably bigger.” You shrug and shove your hands in your pants pockets. “That’s all.”

Only several years of playing cards keeps her from sagging in relief. She nods, trying to process as panic flashes and ebbs, then takes a moment to study you. She notes the tightness in your shoulders, the way you’ve got your head ducked, and presses her lips together faintly. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Your eyes flash, and you step closer to her. “It’s not,” you growl, “an issue of want.” You swallow, then let out a self-deprecating laugh –which, fortunately, prompts you to relax a little. “I just won’t know what I’m doing, s’all.”

“I can work with that.” Sevika closes the distance between the two of you, gripping your hips when you bend down and kiss her again. She savors the feeling of your lips for a moment, then pulls away and grins up at you. “Lead the way, sweetheart.”

#sass writes #sevika x reader #fueled by the author's desire to be built like a mountain #but alas i am a twig #also i know jackshit about arm wrestling #don't use this as a guide on how to win at arm wrestling #smut will be coming in part two

[skylarsblue]

✦Random C.o.D Headcanons✦

(Random Headcanons that I have no where else to put. Also because I can't properly wrITE WORTH SHIT, UGH)

✧Price can swing dance. And very well, mind you. ✧Johnny’s dad gripes at him for not drinking whiskey. “Bout the only Scotsman who won’t drink scotch! ‘hat’s like an Irish man not drinking Guinness!” He’ll say. But Johnny handles liquor really well. He could down three tequila sunrises without a single waver. ✧Gaz used to do ballet as a kid, gymnastics in secondary school. He’s less flexible now because he doesn’t stretch like he used to, but he could probably still manage the splits. ✧PRICE LIKES OLD WESTERNS AND COUNTRY MUSIC. TRY TO TELL ME OTHERWISE, I DARE YE- ✧Ghost’s autistic hyperfixations consist of; Birds, the chemical affects of drugs(of any kind) on the body, the process of decomposition, bones/skeletons, and how different cultures view Death. (Ex; Grin Reaper, Cu Sith, Thanatos, etc.)

✧Gaz is the one that has the most vast music taste, but admittedly he’s got a bit of a favorite spot for what I call “ass shaking music”. Things like Doja Cat to T-Pain, ya know?

✧Johnny whole heartedly believes in ghosts, and while he likes horror, he’s most scared by paranormal ones.

✧Ghost’s go to snack is apples. He is so obsessed with apples he can differentiate each kind with one bite.

✧Price hates being called Johnathan, the only one allowed to call him that is Laswell. And she only uses it to scold him. Like a mom. ✧Alejandro owns a cowboy hat. He bought Rudy a matching one, but he assumes Rodolfo got rid of it since he never wears it. It’s not true. Rudy is just really worried he’ll ruin it, so he keeps it pristine in his closet. He’ll even ensure it doesn’t collect dust. ✧König has a fear of horses. He had a Celtic mythology phase, read a spooky story with a Kelpie in it, and now they scare him. ✧Horangi used to have a gold tooth, and at one point his gambling debt got so high, he pulled it out and sold it. Also Horangi has bad teeth, lots of fillings & cavities. ✧Diabetes runs in Gaz’ family, so he constantly watches his sugar intake. But it’s really hard because he loves sweets. ✧09 Ghost is a trans man. This isn’t a Headcanon, it’s just true.

✧Johnny has oddly soft hands. He doesn’t do anything to them, and objectively, he should have tons of callouses. And yet? Nah, super smooth.

✧Gaz runs warm and prefers warm weather, Price runs warm and prefers cold, Johnny runs cold and prefers warm weather, Ghost runs cold and prefers cold weather. ✧Ghost hates being spooned cause he’s usually bigger, and the feeling of a body against his back, even if warm and alive? Reminds him too much of the feeling of a deadman pressing on his spine. He’d prefer to be the big spoon if he has to cuddle like that.

✧Rudy owns playboys & playgirl magazines. He just hides them SUPER well, because he’s kinda ashamed. He thinks people owning porn is fine, but his mother visits often and she’s a bit of a snoop. ✧Piggy backing off the last one, that’s also why Rudy is so sneaky. He wasn’t necessarily a super bad kid, and his parents weren’t necessarily unbearable. But he often got roped into trouble by others, and his parents were a bit strict, so he got good at sneaking. ✧Valeria & Alejandro are exes, and while there are many reasons they broke up? One was Valeria realizing she’s hella sapphic.

✧Valeria has a collection of naked women paintings. Like, super expensive ones? No one questions her because she’s a cartel queen, they think she just likes art. And she does. But she also is hella biased towards pretty painted ladies.

✧Gaz definitely has at least one crazy ex. Like “I’ll stalk your number, call your mom, and make a scene in public even if we broke up three years ago” crazy. ✧König was a pot smoking metalhead in high school, I will not elaborate. ✧Ghost tends to be clean shaven because the sensory feeling of stubble is uncomfortable, especially under his mask. But he likes facial hair on other people. ✧Farah is on the aroace spectrum. She’s not completely closed off to romance or sex, but like…it’s very very rare for her to experience those kinds of attractions. (Personally I think Alex is her exception, but I’m biased) ✧SPEAKING OF ALEX, man owns a cane. He decorates it, he also decorates his leg. With stickers. Some of them are kiddy/girly cause his niece gave him them. Do not question the Pinkie Pie on his prosthetic, reminds him of what he needs to come home for.

✧Nik & Price definitely have sucked each other’s dicks at least once. Look, besties bestie however they please. Also, c’mon. They’re military men.

✧Johnny somehow manages to miss something someone is telling him when they’re right by his ear. Yet! He’ll catch a random comment from across the room.

✧Also. Johnny is afraid of dogs. But he also likes dogs. It’s a very hard thing to deal with when he wants to pet what gives him heart palpitations.

✧König doesn’t talk to his mother at all. He occasionally talks to his father, but not much. But his grandma?? Every day. He will won’t miss a single day of contact.

✧Gaz writes poems or short stories sometimes as a coping mechanism. But he hides it cause he's embarassed. ✧Johnny had a full out punk phase in high school. He had spikes on a denim jacket, he had an anarchy pin on his rucksack. Full out. And though he didn't get caught, he probably did some teenage delinquent shit like graffiti. Thankfully, the more destructive stuff is more out of his system...mostly anyway. ✧Price didn't have a full hippie phase when he was younger, but he did have friends in that circle, so he picked up one or two things. ✧Ghost didn't have any aesthetic specifically growing up, but he thought Trad Goths were super cool to look at and he definitely got a lil inspiration from them in his everyday life. ✧Gaz also didn't have a particular aesthetic he fell into, but for some reason he was picked up by a group of scene kids in middle school. If you go through his oldest music playlist, EDM is in there a suspicious amount. ✧König is allergic to bees, so, anytime they're around he'll freak the fuck out and sprint away. If it weren't for the fact he had a reason to fear them, it'd look really silly. ✧Soap has ADHD, Ghost is autistic, Laswell has OCD, Rudy has AuDHD, and König is autistic.

#call of duty #call of duty headcanons #modern warfare #modern warfare ii #modern warfare headcanons #captain john price #john price #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish' #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #kyle cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost call of duty #rodolfo rudy parra #valeria el sin nombre garza #alejandro vargas #team 141 #kate laswell #farah karim #alex keller #nik cod

[aprillikesthings]

I have the house to myself because people are at a sportsball party

So what else would I do but keep watching spop amiright

s1 ep8 lez go

YES IT'S PRINCESS PROM AHAHAHAH

Oh, that explains why (in a muuuuuuch later episode) there's that little ideal future and they're at Scorpia's ball (iirc)

Catra: I NEED TO BE IN CHARGE Scorpia: party!

Poor Scorpia

Catra: giving a passionate-if-faked pep talk to Scorpia (like I get she's manipulating Scorpia here into going to the party, but it's still the kind of thing Scorpia should hear!) Also Catra: still real mad about Adora!!!

I cackled, y'all. CACKLED.

I mean she's...not wrong...

Okay I know it's just how this kind of show works and isn't important but it implies the Ball is known about for years in advance, but the invites only actually go out like a day or two before?? IRL that would be such a disaster because they don't even know the theme until they get the invite. The sheer amount of logistics/planning attending something like this, including the outfits...

This was intended to be Lolita fashion and you can't convince me otherwise

Also CATRA. They intentionally made her look so, so gay and hot.

Same, Catra. Same.

Adora (to the weapons-check person): be careful with it, don't lean it on something with the other swords or it might get confused!!!

Poor Adora. I suppose if I had an object that made me both popular and nearly invincible I'd be upset and worried to be separated from it, too.

It's Molly and Nate!!!

🎶Just like the viiiiine🎵

I love that we know these characters enough that they can just say a couple of lines here and imply a ton more. Anyway Mermista's outfit is great.

This is literally their entire dynamic. They're clearly together, Sea Hawk is loud about it, Mermista is (mostly) pretending to hate it.

Sorry this is shot is just great

Glimmer's jealousy (over Bow coming to the ball with Perfuma) is SO ANNOYING and I know that's on purpose but boy do I hate most "jealousy makes them obnoxious" plots

ANYWAY one small note: you can tell their budget for this episode is just not very high, because the characters in the background are so often not moving or only moving like one thing.

Oh hey, Netossa and Spinerella! (...and Molly again lol)

"Bow isn't the type to just leave his old friends behind, and neither am--" *Scorpia and Catra walk in*

DIDN'T THINK YOU'D SEE HER HERE, HUH, DIDJA

I can't screenshot this bit but it's so good:

Catra, in her most fake-gentleman voice: I love rules and obey them all the time Adora in the most high-pitched voice possible: YOU DO NOOOOT

🎶Every move you make And every vow you break Every smile you fake Every claim you stake I'll be watching you🎵

...I'm showing my age again. But also I'm looking at the lyrics and ngl they nearly all fit. If I knew how to make fanvids, I could make a vid that like ten people would watch.

Instead I'm working on a fic like ten people will read, heyoooo

*cries*

BACK TO THE GAYS PRINCESS PROM

is there crack-y pwp of this please say yes

Once again reminded of that fanvid of every time they say each other's names in the first two seasons

Literally cannot see Adora opening that without the "bah-dm tsh!" sound affect in my head from watching that video so many fucking times

Bow is so delightfully emotionally intelligent

Entrapta: have you met my new assistant? She brought snacks.

When Entrapta said "assistant" Catra's ears literally did a wiggle. Oh my gooooood

"she stole my food and asked me to spy on people with her,

lolol

once again whether the sword is actually sharp-edged or not is entirely dependent on plot

Scorpia is unreasonably hot sometimes

im gonna chew my fingers off ghgha;lksdhka;

I remember the screenshots/gifs of this scene hitting tumblr--that moment when every hopeful sapphic fan watching the show when it released went OKAY WAIT we're not making shit up this time are we??? ARE WE???

Also at least one person working on this show likes period dramas where tons of emotional plot happens during extremely formal dances where everyone is barely touching

there's nearly a billion gifs of that scene from one of the versions of Pride and Prejudice, but also:

once again proving my advanced age, this movie came out when I was 17 and side note I'm the same age as Claire Danes, anyhoodle

Has Adora been dancing Lead this whole time

HNNNNGNGHGHGHHHHHH IT'S SO GOOD

EXTREMELY UNDIGNIFIED NOISES Adora literally has one thigh between Catra's gghngng

i want to EAT IT

I'VE HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT FOR THIS POST LOLOL i don't wanna cut any out imma post this and then reblog it

#april rewatches spop

[alexissara]

The Best of Me 2023

I did a ton of writing on tumblr this year, with at least one post a week but multiple weeks with 2 or 3 posts in a week. I've worked hard to make writing that is relevant to my fellow sapphics and artists. I want to talk about the stuff I wrote this year I am most proud of.

Note: This list does not include my articles for Anime Feminist because they are professionally edited therefore a cut above anything I am posting on tumblr but please do read them here and tell them you want more articles by me [I actually have more to write for them ooops].

Why Hunt Monsters?

I am so proud of this little article, for me this is one of the things I feel very strongly about. As a TTRPG player I have found myself retreating from a lot more games because I just can't get behind, we murder monsters plots and I was really happy to share my perspective on this fairly taken from granted feature of games.

How To Find Sapphic Media 

This little guide to finding Sapphic Art was really important to me because well, I was really tired of seeing people say there was not compelling art about and by sapphic women and so I wanted to make a base level resource for finding amazing sapphic shit.

Sapphic Games Goddess List

In my efforts to make Sapphic Art more known I have worked really fucking hard to research what sapphic games are coming up so people wouldn't even have to put in the effort to go hunting them down. I want people to be able to live out there sapphic dreams and so it's important to me to share what I am researching for my own play time since I at this point really only play games I can be a lesbian in or otherwise are standout in gameplay with probably no romance instead. I even did an updated version of this list since most of the games on the first list have come out and I am working on the next one as we speak with more new additions gearing up.

Why Obsession Hits Different When Gay

I love diving into queer theorizing. I am not going big brain citing a ton of people or doing a lot of academic research but I like to share my own thoughts, experiences and the stuff I have learned over years especially as a writer and general creator of sapphic art. I think it's a perfect little rebuttal for folks who may claim there is a "double standard" that lesbians have or something.

Polyamory Is Queer

This is a deeply personal little blog post I did where I talked about why polyamory is so important to me and why it is in fact queer. I have seen so many people demonize polyamory over the years and I was just tired of seeing people in my own community bullying other polyamorous folks.

Fantasy Vs Sexuality Labels

As a writer this is maybe one of the things I feel most passionate about a creative choice for my fellow queer creators. I really wanted to make my case on why we should use labels in fantasy worlds and why these labels matter for stories.

My entries for Edelgard Rarepair week and Monica Week

I from time to time to time write fan fiction and I had a blast doing it this year for two different week events going with both the Edelgard Rarepair week and the Monica fics week. I love Three Houses/Hopes so it was a blast to throw my passion into something even if in general I don't like to be a free marketing arm for companies by making creative works like those.

TTRPG Characters Need Trauma In Their Backstory

I had one person who utterly hated this post and started attacking me in basically every post I made on some social media site I abandoned because of it. That alone makes me love this post even more because it made me sit down and think about this post and feel even more assured that what I wrote is correct and that trauma is in fact needed for TTRPG characters. I think I wrote something that really dived into the idea of what is trauma, how trauma relates to us as humans and why it's basically propaganda to remove us from trauma.

Trans People Deserve More 

I feel super strongly about this article, I sat on it for a long time but I've met so many other trans people with awful relationships and mild relationships with their family. I wanted to make a shout out to all my fellow trans folks to tell them that it's okay to demand more, that we don't need to settle.

A Dive Into Heather 

I adored diving into one of my all time favorite Fire Emblem characters and it's something I've wanted to do more of. I'd love to do more dives into characters in video games I like and I did well before this post have a series of drafts that I still have up as a series that particularly is just a bit by bit break down of Edelgard's political beliefs.

#Personal #2023 #Best Of Me #Blog #Articles

[ravenirene]

Rating different sapphic ships for marvel women cause I'm bored. Some ships are mcu based most are comic based

First up Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff

1. Sharon carter - Widow13/Natsharon

9/10

they're adorable, friends to lovers. I love the way they are always complementing each other like sharons saying "but her speed still impress me" or mcu nat in tws saying she was nice, honestly mcu nat seemed more into sharon than mcu steve. Also they got 7th for a comic sapphic ship poll w over 6000 votes, so true of them

2. Bobbi Morse -bobbinat/mockingwidow

10/10

stealing clints wife, literally. There's panels of nat calling bobbi darling. They actually kissed in canon but it was just so nat could give bobbi medicine since she was under influence. After Bobbi gained control of herself again she told bucky to tell nat and I quote from bucky himself "she said to call her if you were still "curious", and clint got all defensive." Anyways they need to kiss again but for real this time.

3. Jessica drew - jessnat

7/10

Caroljess is my #1 but this is also cute. Spider x spider. They had rlly cute moments in secret avengers and avengers assemble(2013). Including this one where nat says jess is her soulmate and those panels of where they get a massage together. In one spiderwoman comic where jess was pregnant they almost had a movie night together until someone interrupts

4. Marina

6/10

Marina is natasha childhood best friend. They met in the red room and sometimes they escaped to watch ballerinas dance. When they got older(1960s?) they had a mission together but the handlers thought Marina was going to deflect from the red room so after the mission they had Natasha put k!ll Marina, nat almost doesn't do it but in the end...anyways they were adorable up until the end. Marina should be referenced again cause the only comic w her is Black Widow 2014

5. Maria hill - blackhill/marianat

9/10

Enemies to lovers to Enemies to lovers to Enemies to...Invincible iron man has major blackhill angst I swear ("but maria hooked up w tony in it" no) their relationship is confusing lowkey one minute they're protective of each other next minute they're bullying one another. But either way Invincible iron man and Black widow 2014 made some big blackhill points. Maria turning to nat cause she was the only one she could trust. Nat comforting maria when she had ptsd flashbacks. Maria saying that nat is the only one she can trust. Taskmaster 2021 where maria faked her death without telling anyone and the blame was put on taskmaster so u have natasha going after him to avenge her. U see taskmaster dialog "bullseye thinks that if u kill the heros girlfriend, their wife or partner or whatever, then you've got an edge on them. But all that does is get them.to come after you harder than ever. I've adopted a 'no wives, no girlfriends, no mothers' policy. Not just because it's gross. Though it is. No, it's because these heros, these guys...it always seems that all they are waiting for is one dead woman to motivate them" what's a hetero explanation for that?!? Nat is literally chasing this man down all throughout the comic and taskmaster is scared sh!t less, the only reason she doesn't kill him is because right before she does maria reveals herself to nat that she's alive. I only put it as 9/10 cause I'm not the biggest on Enemies to lovers plus there was those times where maria does make nat sheilds biggest enemy...

6. Elektra

6/10

They definitely hate f*cked once u can't convince me otherwise. Hate the whole "fighting over matt" thing though

7. Carol danvers - carolnat

5/10

I perfer them as friends but they do have some nice moments.

8. Janet van dyne(not hope)

5/10

I also perfer them as friends(not that ive rlly seen a lot of ppl ship them). They have a cute friendship in black widow and marvel girls

9. Wanda maximoff- wandanat

??/10

They have a total of 5 interactions mcu and comics combined. I see the vision but at the same time they both have better ships

10. Peggy carter - Peggynat

2/10

I see where you're coming from w the what if but I can't stand peggy for whatever reason. Like I won't go online and comment hate on her but I just choose to ignore her. If u ship tho go ahead tho it's legal and not toxic

I think I've covered all of natashas sapphic ships, or at least all the bigger ones. Some.of these probably sound rlly confusing...I'll probably do captain marvel or she hulk next

#marvel #mcu #natasha romanoff #black widow #sapphic #lesbian #comics #marvel comics #sharon carter #natsharon #bobbi morse #jessica drew #spider woman #maria hill #blackhill #elektra #carol danvers #captain marvel #janet van dyne #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch

[clevereverest]

My Current Fics

(Formatting partially inspired by @lilshocker8)

First person listed in the relationships tags is POV unless otherwise specified • Everything is under the cut to save space :D

Search “#clevereverest fic promos” for summaries and tags!

Ongoing Multichapter Post - “Now or Never”

My AO3 Dashboard

Sleepless - Race/Spot • 3,240 words • 2/2 CH

Racetrack struggles to fall asleep and accidently wakes up Spot in the process.

A Knowing Winner - Spot/Race • 2,327 words

Race asks Spot to play the ever-unpredictable game of truth or dare with him, and Spot can't bring himself to say no to such a convincing argument (that being Race asking him twice to play instead of once).

Something to Share with You - Race/Spot • 2,488 words

Racetrack plays sudoku every day with running feedback from Spot, who understands nothing, and Race decides that he wants to teach his boyfriend how to play.

Requests - Finch/Albert • 3,717 words

Albert has a late-night request to be sung to, and Finch reflects on a request of his own that holds a special place in his heart.

Taste Tests - Spot/Race • 3,813 words

On a whim, Spot and Race try out fruits they've never had.

To Ease The Mind - Race & Newsies • 7,635 words

Two times when Race reads to others, and one time when he's read to.

Do You Read Me? - Albert/Finch • 7,104 words

Best friend sensors don't tell you everything, unfortunately. Albert and Finch learn that fact the hard way.

Fall(ing) - Spot/Race • 3,831 words

It's the first day of fall, and Spot and Race decide to spend it in Central Park.

[ Part 1 in “All Things Fall” Series ]

Margin Notes - Race & Albert • 2,148 words

Race and Albert decide to bake on Friday the 13th. It doesn't exactly go to plan...

[ Newsiestober 2023 - Day 13: Baking ]

(Frightful) Fall Fest - Race/Spot, Race & Everyone • 9,549 words

Four weeks into fall, Race and Spot attend a festival with their closest friends.

[ Halloween! (Newsies' Version) 2023 // Part 2 in “All Things Fall” Series ]

Was the Moon Especially Bright? - Finch/Albert, Race/Spot • 6,108 words

Finch nor his friends could explain why or how Halloween changed, but they couldn't deny it happened even if they tried to.

[ Newsiestober 2023 - 7 Days: Multi-Prompt, In Tags // Halloween! (Newsies’ Version) 2023 ]

Lovesome - Albert/Finch • 3,000 words

Mr. and Mr. DaSilva-Cortez have an equally fun, relaxed, and more-than-mildly surprising evening together.

Joy to Us - Spot/Race (both POVs) • 6,923 words • 2/2 CH

Spot and Race celebrate a special Christmas together.

[ Part 1 in “Making Spirits Bright” Series ]

A Merry Pair - Albert/Finch (both POVs) • 8,328 words • 2/2 CH

With Christmas comes new memories for Albert and Finch.

[ Part 2 in “Making Spirits Bright” Series ]

Exactly Two Weeks - Spot/Race, Spot & Everyone • 999 words

It's Spot's 21st birthday! (Which is exactly two weeks after Christmas, by the way.)

Nothing Can Break Us - Race/Spot • 9,726 words

Promoted from a second in command, Race must withstand the taxing trials of leadership. It was only a matter of time before his friends noticed something was wrong.

Confess - Albert/Finch • 1,275 words

Albert confesses to Finch.

Worth It - Albert & Race • 663 words

Albert and Race get matching tattoos.

One-Upping - Sarah & Spot • 713 words

While bouldering, Sarah and Spot aim to outdo each other.

Now or Never - Spot/Race • 50,516 words • 10/12 CH

Spot recently realized he was in love with none other than Racetrack Higgins. Instead of simply confessing, Spot crafted the perfect plan to see if Race would like him back — with a pretty damn embarrassing inspiration behind it involving laser tag.

[ FULLY PREWRITTEN: Next update on May 5 ]

Hindered - Katherine/Sarah • 1,471 words

Late in the night, Katherine eventually stops staring blankly at her article, and she finds Sarah still awake, too.

[ Sapphic Blues (Newsbians) Event Week ]

#newsies #writing #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #clevereverest fics masterpost #sprace #redfinch #newsbians

[mymelody-sapphic]

saw your response to the one anon the other day and it really rubbed me the wrong way, so i’m telling you this as a butch lesbian & hoping that you actually care since you always claim to care about butches.

first and foremost, it’s weird as hell that you’re white and you’re trying to say that butch/femme labels are usamerican or whatever because they’re not. butchfemme culture is everywhere, especially in the global south since it’s a source of safety for hyper-marginalized lesbians.

using the term as a non-lesbian literally puts butches in danger because non-lesbians have no idea how to treat butches. and if you think you do, i’m telling you you don’t and i know that based on your response the other day. additionally, i saw a post of yours where you were talking about how you support les4les (another source of safety for lesbians) so i ask you this…how are butches supposed to find other lesbians to date if so many people who aren’t lesbians call themselves femmes now? after the absolute living hell that butches have gone through both historically and currently? you’re actively making it more difficult for us to find community by co-opting our terms. it’s disingenuous to claim otherwise at best and downright lesbophobic at worst.

as i've said before i'm always willing to listen and learn and since you took the time to write your views on these i'd like to reply to everything the best way i can. just to be clear this is just for the sake of dialogue bc what i'm about to say it's not to justify or excuse myself. i also want to be honest and tell you that me being interest in learning and correcting myself when i'm wrong doesn't mean i'll just accept everything anyone that comes to my inbox or dms have to say when it comes to this type of topics where there are a thousand ways to understand and approach the subject. but since you're the second person that has expressed their discomfort with me (a bisexual white woman) referring to myself as femme i think i should actually reflect and perhaps read even more about the issue, that will be when i come to my own conclusions and decisions (which obviously may or may not be correct).

for context this anon is referring to these posts

about using butch/femme terms about les4les relationships

about the first thing you say, i think you should just re-read what I actually wrote because i talk about the terms at all times, in fact at the end i say that other languages/countries have their own words to for femme and butch.

on the other response you talk about, i don't know what exact post made you think that i don't know how to treat butches, so i don't really know what gave you this idea but i don't doubt that at all since a bisexual i can't relate completely with lesbians whether they're butches, femmes, mascs, stud or none of that in the same way that i'm unable to relate to straight women. but honestly i don't get what part of me calling out lesbophobic attitudes that bi women have and understanding and supporting les4les can possibly make that less safe for them since i'm literally out of that and it was something aimed at those bisexual and not to lesbians.

now, answering your question: i don't now. speaking from myself i always (here and irl) make clear i'm not a lesbian and use sapphic instead when i don't use bi. i say I'm femme bc i don't know another way to identify myself and express who i am and how i feel but i don't want to make anyone feel like i'm fooling them or tricking them or make taking away safety from them and I really hope none has ever felt like that because of me. again, being butch/femme/masc/etc is not just for dating scenarios is also about self-identity i understand what you mean and where you're coming from and I guess i might be overstepping bc as a bisexual we're always in middle grounds when it comes to these things and what we can also claim. we're queer but we can also get the straight experience depending on who we are dating and the circles we are in the same way some lgbt people reject their community and adjust to a more normative life style. i'm mostly surrounded by queer people, to be more specific lesbians and is where i feel the safest and since they don't feel safe/comfortable with me saying i'm femme i thought i wasn't doing something that my be wrong but they don't speak for the whole community so I would like to hear other lesbians, other butches and others femmes about this.

lastly , i would like to say that although you may be right in some of the things you've said, i don't think it's fair some of the assumptions you've made based on literally the only 4 posts i've made that aren't about how i want to get railed bc it's not just that you have no idea who i am, my context, my relationship with the queer community or my relationships in general, it's that this is not even an account where i talk about this stuff making statements, i have simply reacted to post that have reminded me my own experiences or to very specific messages that people have sent me. but I also think you have the option to unfollow me or block me bc if you don't agree and everything I say doesn't sit right with you, even though i appreciate you taking your time to explain your views on everything.

#𐙚 𝆬 lia answers #no more discourse for me i guess #i literally don't know if anything i've said makes sense #again i'm doing my best talking about topics in a second language that i don't usually use to talk about complex stuff

[shadowkira]

First of all, I'm Karlach. I have Karlach levels of game. So, I partially find this scene incredibly endearing and would 1000% absolutely have drug her away from camp as soon as she tried.... Whatever that was out. Party raging be damned. Who cares if they hear us?

That being said... Why do you only get this cute, bumbling confession if she knows you already agreed to meet up with someone? Lae'zel and Shadowheart's scenes both trigger automatically, Karlach's only triggers automatically if you're interested in another companion. Otherwise, you have to admit your crush on her.

Sure, okay, she can't actively touch you yet... but romance isn't just about sex. Shadowheart's first scene is pretty chaste too and she can touch people and is FAR from a saint.

Even if you argue that Karlach is lacking in confidence from her ten years spent in Avernus... Even if it's because she doubts you'd pick her over the other companions because she can't touch. It feels... gross. This feels very "polyamorous is bad but cheating is okay." Idk how else to articulate that thought in another way right now?

Neither Karlach or Shadowheart strike me as overtly monogamous. I could see them agreeing to be monogamous for a partner but they have literal dialogue in the game that contradicts itself. Karlach offers Tav or the origin characters the chance to see other people until her second upgrade. She has a fantasy in her origin run about a threesome with a woman and a man.

If you start romancing Shadowheart and then have a scene with Karlach, she immediately tells you that you seem happier. She wishes she was the source of your happiness but wishes you and Karlach the best... in this interaction, you can defend your stance on the matter and say, "I'm not a swan, I don't mate for life." Shadowheart still declines, stating that Karlach deserves to have you to herself.

Also Shadowheart, if you're romancing her and fuck Mizora: "I know I'm not dating a swan, I don't expect you to mate for life. But tell me next time and remember that I have needs as well." (Or something similar, I watched it on youtube out of curiosity.)

That's blatant using the same type of line in two completely and contradictory ways? And also her saying she's okay with you fucking other people but not actually?? She also still finds Karlach attractive and it's clearly mutual. My sapphic, polyamorous lizard brain does not compute any of this in a way that makes sense????

Please just let me be polyamorous on PS5 without mods. Because this is like the first thing I've seen for this game that doesn't sit right with me.

And it also kills me because Karlach is too sweet for that. She literally just said that she thinks there's actually someone soft behind Shadowheart's spiky exterior. Why would the sweetest girl in camp state a few seconds later that she wants to steal you away? 🤔

#BG3 Shenanigans #Act 1 Spoilers #Karlach romance #Karlach romance: Act 1

[bi-sapphics]

whats the difference between lesbian repulsion for men, and febfem repulsion for men?

ive been so confused about whether im a lesbian or febfem. with either one i wouldn't engage with men, but if im febfem, and wouldnt be romantic or intimate with a man ever, how do i know im attracted to them?

okay, listen. i'm gonna assume you're using "febfem" in good faith like i once did, but unless you actually are a radfem on my blog for some weird reason then please don't. i literally use the term "bi sapphics" instead to emphasize wlw attraction and i'm not sure how you missed such an obvious replacement for a problematic term if you're asking me somewhat-advanced questions like this. i'm not mad, just a little shocked you're talking positively about febfems in my inbox and i wanna address that first.

but to answer your question, at the end of the day the most general answer is you're the one who indicates that. if you think comphet is valid, you might wanna look into the lesbian masterdoc - you can probably just google it or search for it on twitter or tumblr. i have some beef with it personally and am very critical of it because it definitely contributes to bi erasure and was written without the consolation of bi women so it kinda tends to list very common bimisogynistic experiences as lesbian experiences, buuuuut i think it does actually provide some genuine and helpful relief in the longrun. i think comphet is conditionally real, all in separate lesbian contexts, wlw contexts, and women in general contexts because that's just how the patriarchy functions. maybe see which one is affecting you the most and figure out if that helps.

but like i said before all that, i really can't tell you because i don't live your experiences. what i will say is that i used to identify as a lesbian for a year because i went through something very similar, but then i realized my attraction to men just wasn't comphet. it might be the same for you, it might be different. maybe you'll go with bi sapphic and later realize it actually was comphet instead. nothing you do from here will be morally wrong and you shouldn't let anyone, especially radfems & exclus, tell you otherwise, because they will. even then, you could be super perfectly confident and still end up being wrong in the future. really only you can figure this out, with help of course, but i can't give you a definitive answer. hopefully my suggestion will get you somewhere.

if other lesbians and bi women want to add on, please feel free!! all opinions on the "am i a lesbian?" masterdoc are welcome.

#chase answers #lesbian #lesbian experiences #bi sapphic #bi women #bi experiences #comphet #lesbian masterdoc #febfem mention #radfem mention #anti radfem #comphet discourse #comphet critical #lesbian sources #bi sources #lgbt sources #exclus mention #lgbt discourse #am i a lesbian?

[ballad-of-a-bluebird]

I posted 9,377 times in 2022

That's 5,196 more posts than 2021!

357 posts created (4%)

9,020 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@battleofbunkerhill

@so1987

@i-likestuff86

@aqueerembrace

@lilacebean

I tagged 1,425 of my posts in 2022

#save - 156 posts

#finch's letters - 149 posts

#i posted a thing - 128 posts

#ask rae - 84 posts

#ask game - 46 posts

#tw violence - 39 posts

#signal boost - 29 posts

#picrew - 27 posts

#picrew chain - 25 posts

#quote of the day - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#i was thinking they were just getting annoyed by their own hand that just happened to be put in their pocket

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I love all you little gay people in my phone <3

23 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#4

You guys, I wanna know what yall think

What is the gayest band/orchestra instrument?

and yes, I'm making a poll

here it is:

tagging some peeps to get responses (lemme know if you don't wanna be tagged): @battleofbunkerhill @bread-pat @imgaybut @eat-th3-rich @be-sapphic-do-crime @thereallvrb0y @cooperblr @felixettos @quails-and-whales @mothmans-sexy-lamp

28 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#3

Hello potion seller.

hello!!

what potion would you like today?

29 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

#2

Shout out to people with brown eyes

their eyes are gorgeous

especially when the sun hits them just right

friggin beautiful and you can't tell me otherwise

40 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

🏳️‍🌈gay🏳️‍🌈

53 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

[wives-natlho]

Whiskey

CW: Sapphic PDA, trauma, alcoholism, verbal abuse

She watches the glass closely. It is lifted off the table gently. The ice cubes clank around, creating that unique, unmistakable sound. The amber liquid finds its way into the barely parted lips of the Sea Wolf woman sitting across from her. The thunk of the glass back onto the wood table awakens Jaye from her trance and she is snapped back into reality. 

This time it's worse. Why is it worse? She can't figure it out. Coco's voice calms the rising tide of panic welling within Jaye's chest. 

"Hey…"

Jaye looks up and locks eyes with Coco. She inhales through her nose and holds the breath, then exhales and smiles. She decides it’s time to say something.

"Whats wrong?" Implores the worried Roegadyn. 

"Did I ever tell you my dad used to drink whiskey?" The honesty behind Jaye’s smile fades, but the smile itself otherwise remains on her face. 

A lot of things suddenly make sense to Coco about Jaye’s behavior around alcohol. Her expression drops into one of deep shame and regret. "Oh gods… you should have said something sooner!" She reaches up to grab the drink and push it aside. She is stopped as Jaye places her hand on top of the glass.

"No, don't… I need to work through this." She leaves her hand on top of her partner's. "Can I talk to you about it? I don't need solutions quite yet… Just to talk it through." 

Coco nods, and after a moment turns her hand upwards to lock fingers with Jaye. "Yeah. Take your time."

"Okay… Let me go through this. It's been a while so I'm gonna have to remember in pieces." Jaye closes her eyes and thinks for a moment and then begins recounting her past. "I would be comfortable, relaxing, and then it would start. The first sound was the glass against the countertop. A single thud." 

Her heart rate begins to increase as the memories return. Coco grips her hand.

"Next was the ice cubes. Always two. 'clink, clink'." Her breathing increases. Coco wants to say something but simply squeezes the hand tighter. "Then the pouring. The whiskey hit the glass and the ice started to crack. It was faint but I could always hear it, somehow…" 

Her eyes open and she stares at the tumbler of spirits on the table between the two. She watches the glass sweat, and she begins to perspire as well. Coco watches her closely, ready to help if needed. Jaye's eyes raise to meet her girlfriend’s. Coco’s eyes are calm. They are worried, but comforting. They carry peace with them, and they accept Jaye in every form, pain included. 

"He would sit in a big chair and drink while he read his reports. The reports always made him mad." Jaye's eyes remain locked with Coco's, dancing back and forth between each iris, the pace steady, unsure if the panic attack is gone or not. "But…" 

Jaye squeezed back at Coco's hand. "He never hit me. He never touched me. He wouldn't even get close to me. He'd scream and yell and throw things, but he never came near me." She looks up at the silent Sea Wolf and says, "I always wanted someone to comfort me, to hold me. Someone who would tell me I'm not alone. Someone close." 

She closes her eyes and thinks of Athena, of the Savoury, and of her newfound home in Eorzea. She takes a deep breath in, holds it for a few seconds, and opens her eyes. The breath out brings with it a newfound comfort and relief, and is accompanied by the image of Coco in front of her. The flow of air blows the hair into and out of her face. The sunlight reflects off her glossy lips. Jaye decides it's time to make a new association. 

She stands up and leans forward, across the small table. She takes her open hand, the one not currently interlaced with Roegadyn fingers, and brings it to Coco's cheek. She lifts up her partner's face and can tell the girl is obviously confused. Coco had been told earlier to just "be still and go with it" when Jaye is panicking. She takes that instruction to heart now. 

Jaye leans all the way across the table and brings her own lips to those of Coco. The smell of the whiskey on her partner's breath hits her nose. She takes a moment to breathe in, and for the first time enjoys the smell of alcohol. The lips touch next. Jaye tastes the whiskey, and somehow doesn't recoil. She runs her tongue across, and inside, and tastes it even more. Coco begins to worry that this is happening in public and stiffens up a bit. 

Jaye stops and smiles. Her freckles begin to hide, one by one in the rising red tide of embarrassment that visits her cheeks. She looks around at the other patrons in the Missing Member. It's a small venue, filled with women. There are many spectators. Her face grows redder. 

Hands still interlocked, she gets up and rushes out the door, pulling Coco along. The taller woman has just enough time to leave a handful of gil on the table for their tab before being tugged along behind the blushed Viera. Uncouth tavern-goers begin to whistle and applaud as the curtain draws on the unexpected public display. 

Jaye doesn't stop until the couple is by the water's edge, on one of the city's lower docks. She finally turns, still red in the face, and addresses Coco once more. "So it turns out I don't mind if you drink whiskey. Just… Bear with me if I need a reminder of why it's okay." The embarrassment doesn't prevent her from smiling, but does prevent eye contact. 

Coco responds, "Not a problem. I don't mind this kind of therapy", as she moves in closer to continue the treatment.

#ffxiv #ffxiv roleplay #ff14 #ffxiv oc #final fantasy 14 #prose #sapphic #oc fic #oc fiction #spicy #ffxiv fic #creative writing #writing #fanfiction #ffxiv fanfic #ffxiv fanfiction #Jaye Devale #Coco Natlho

[tolerateit]

Ok are we sharing unpopular opinions??? No need to publish this one if it's too inflammatory because I don't want to subject your blog to that BUT I think gaylors and hetlors would really get along a lot better if they realized that they're both doing the same thing, which is assuming her sexuality. Ngl, some of the lyrics or things she's said have made me side eye (see 'she looks so pretty, driving in your benz') BUT literally does it matter? As a sapphic myself, I understand that deep need for representation but I really think Taylor would tell us if that was something she wanted to have known about her, and the fandom ON BOTH SIDES are completely devoid of the concept of nuance. Also, she shouldn't have to be in a box either way imo, straight or otherwise. Can't she just... exist as taylor without having to have a concrete label for people to argue over?

I think the discussion around gaylors (not her sexuality, but gaylors as fans) has become very extreme on both ends - you either despise them as if they personally attacked you or you'll defend everything they do blindly and accuse anyone who disagrees of being homophobic, and the fandom keeps missing the nuance required to handle these discussions especially because every fandom has several subtypes of fans constant pointless "discourse" feels very unproductive and spreads negativity imo

#you ask for the tab*

[praetorqueenreyna]

Emerie/Morrigan is very popular. (173 works on Ao3) (extremely canon plausible)(honestly I would be shocked if SJM didn't make this one canon)

Elain/Morrigan is probably the next strongest contender (with 32 works)(and my personal favorite flavor of sapphic ACOTAR ships)

Elain/Gwyn is a bit more of a rare pair (15 works) (I can't believe it - they deserve more, they would be so cute together)

Nesta/Tamlin have five works. (only five?) (Come on, she would RULE the spring court and maybe Tamlin would finally be able to focus on his music)

And funnily enough I wasn't able to find a single work depicting Cassian/Eris Vanserra (but that doesn't mean it's not a valid ship!)(maybe someone should explore that dynamic, i mean... what is it about Cassian that Eris finds so detestable, anyway? perhaps he's harboring a secret crush and trying to hide it)

I thought it might be fun to sort through the pairings and find their counterparts on AO3 to find out which ones are the most "popular". (1000%, it's the het pairings, and 1000%, it's the ones that are already canon) But IDK, I think it's probably more fun and interactive to do a survey like you're also doing and just see what everyone's fave thing is.

Hi there! Thank you for doing that work, I had NO IDEA Mor/Emerie was such a big ship! Almost 200 works, ICONIQUE! I didn't go through the AO3 stats at ALL, so that would definitely be some interesting information to have! if you ever did do a full look at the popular characters/ships on AO3 and wrote something up, definitely tag me in it because I WANT TO SEE!

Also. I have to tell u a secret.

I have not read all the books. I thoroughly enjoyed the first ACOTAR book. I loved Tamlin, Feyre, Lucien, and the Spring Court. There were flaws, but they were forgiveable flaws.

I made it about 85% of the way through ACOMAF before I gave up in disgust and read the rest of the plot summary online. I've read snippets of ACOWAR and have a vague idea of the plot of the series, but I am very ignorant otherwise.

SO! I actually have never encountered Gwyn, Eris, or Emerie, and know almost nothing about Nesta, Elain, and Mor. I don't really have strong opinions on MOST of the characters and ships. When I was making the ship combinations, I was going off of my best guess for what fandom seemed to enjoy with some supplementary info from the wikis.

Anyway, I'm very glad to see that there is some attention for some cool non-het ships!!

#acotar #acotar survey #ajsdlkfdsjf I'M SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHO GWYN IS #I AM DOING MY BEST #Honestly I'm by no means the best person to have made the survey #BUT I DID IT #and now the entire fandom has to deal with it

[alexissara]

Lesbian Visibility Day

So a lot of these queer days happened really close to each other and I wanted to talk about being a lesbian because it's to me the most important part of my identity. A lot of the labels I have feel like a fact of life, not really something I feel actively. Being a lesbian to me is probably more core to my gender then being a woman. Like I feel like I speak another language from hetero women, like there is a world between us. It's really only in community with other lesbians that I feel like my sexuality and gender and the relationships to womanhood are really understood. Being a lesbian is something I actively get joy from, seeing lesbians, being around lesbians, sapphic art, in general lesbian shit is just very core to who I am down to working on hit TTRPG Thirsty Sword Lesbians [which you should play].

Being a lesbian is something that I took a lot of time to personally place as a label on myself. Also being asexual and being trans both were things that made me worry about claiming the labels Yet, the first community I truly felt embraced by and cherished by is lesbians. When I first started playing with my gender it was lesbians who were happy for me to go to whatever stage of transition I wanted, that told me stories of trans partners and friends, that accepted my gender without question and my sexuality. We made lots of amazing art together telling stories about lesbians of all sorts from non binary lesbians to cis lesbians to trans lesbians. It's in this community that I find myself thriving.

I am in many ways a professional lesbian in that I have committed myself to every inch of my craft being made for lesbians by a lesbian. My comics work in anthology always included lesbians, I've got rejected from video game work for saying I am only interested in jobs I can make lesbians in my writing, my TTRPG work has been to push stories for lesbians and other sapphics. It's am devoted to making art about women who love other women. I don't care if I never have a stable income because making art is only worth it to me if I am uplifting my community. Otherwise I'd rather work a normal job, art is about expressing myself and I can't reflect myself without at least a taste of sappho.

What I do for fun also revolves around lesbians. Even when I am not playing Thirsty Sword Lesbians I am always playing a lesbian character when I roleplay and when I GM I create tons of Lesbian NPCs. When I am looking for video games to play I am looking for explicit sapphic representation as a massive factor to decide if I am going to buy a game or not. I often am gay modding games that don't have that or having my own lesbian headcanons of characters I talk on and on about while I play.

So in conclusion, being a lesbian is my whole personality and honestly, that isn't a bad thing. I think being a lesbian is great and that existing as a lesbian as women and queer rights are under attack, happily, thriving and refusing to let the men in power strip it away from us is important. I am here for all lesbians who aren't bigots and I hope I can make you feel seen and loved in my work, thank you for being you other lesbians.

[You can support me here on patreon if you wanna help a lesbian out .]

#Lesbian #Lesbians #lesbian pride #Lesbian Visibility Week #Lesbian Visibility Day #Sapphic