Palisade 29 spoilers, mostly SCREAMING through the episode
IS THIS MOTHERFUCKING GUR AND VALENCE PODCAST IN THE DESCRIPTION
We are in the fucking WAR AGAINST BRANCHED?? Just JUMP and we are IN THR FRONT LINES
I saw ONE WORD SPOILER for this episode and it was DAHLIA so i have high hopes.
I thought they would show up on Palisade but NOPE, you come to the Glorious Princept, not the other way around. Mirror this to that fucking Kesh man.
This flagship/garden city is wild!!
Liguid black, kinda like stone tight plugsuit. Had to google Jesse James Keitel, was not disapointed, they look like a princept to me.
I am excited to see what they are like. What are you like, Dahlia, how can you claim so many thrones?
"Captain Kalvin Brnine." Not me immediately liking them for using the right name, the bar could not be any lower.
"What drives you, Kalvin Brnine?"
*face down, head in hands* yeah uh-huh, hmmhmhm. Kalvin Brnine opposing Apostalos has pushed them more than a millenia of fighting the branched right yup cool cool
"That's a fucked up thing to say." YEAH!!!
"They would like us not to be human anymore."
"They do not know they are being kinda shitty, is the thing. Which is that the room changes around you. The light becomes softer. It is a living room on a warm, sunny day. This is a thing your old friend, Phrygian, could do." (I just let out the most pained wail of my life, sorry roommates.) "And it strikes you, they are not in the room, they are the room."
"Hate that." YEAH!!! SAME!! NOT GOOD!
They have become something like the branched. They fucking think that only CONFLICT and ANTAGONISM will bring change.
OH DAHLIA, YOU ARE FUCKING FULL OF SHIT! WHAT?? ONLY WAR MAKES CONNECTIONS???? DEFEATS THE NATURE OF SELFISHNESS??? Someone give them a hug or something, they grew up wrong and think this is how they can make true connections. (And also teach them how to be a cool room.)
You know what, the branched should have captured Dahlia as a baby. The farmer should've gone straight to the enemiest of enemies and be like "hello".
CAS!!! MISERI AND COR!!! INTEGRATING THEM TO MILLENIUM BREAK! THIS IS ALL I WANT. BUT THEY WOULD BE LOYAL TO DAHLIA! AAAAH, AUSTIN HAS POISONED THE WINE I HAVE CRAVED, BUT IT WOULD TASTE sOoOo SWEET~
WOOOOAH, WILD SWINGS, WILDEST OF SWINGS. "On of scale from 1 to 10 how much can I assassinate this person and still be able to- (laughter) break out?" "What!? Break out of WHAT, you are IN them??"
Hehe, read the room. Because. The princept is the room.
Ali was not even on Roll20, what a fucking powermove.
OOOOH, DAHLIA HAS BEEN LIKE THIS FOR YEARS. OOooOOooOH.
Integrity, Commitment and Dahlia in a soup... Something something Chimera?
Ah, no, it seems they are still kinda three separate beings but Dahlia can just be. A room.
"If you took action in here-" uh oh.
Reading all of these moves is hilarious!
"Hollow blood, less weight!" Fjfjjfjfgghh
THE TAPES!! WITH VALENCE AND GUUUUUUUUR!!!
Also MAGIC UP ROUTINE, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE HIM!!?
I like how excited Austin was about the possibility of just KILLING Dahlia just outright, after teasing them for soooo loooong. I might be bit sad because they seem like an excellent antagonist.
"Anyway, the Glorious Princept is Bleeding everybody. In their throneroom."
BRNINE!! STILL IN IT!! BRNINE!!! SLASHING PRINCEPTS FACE!!!!
ARE THEY REALLY KILLING THE PRINCEPT? HOLY SHIT!!!
JaCK dE QUIDT! NEW MUSIC EVENT!
Figure wants Brnine to know. That Millenium Break can really change lives. (crying)
Figure can cry!!!
I love Cori grilling Eclectic about Leap...
Hunting cleaning their rooms, watering plants... midnight running simulations.... partial walking into the ship with baggy pants...
[Asepsis voice:] RED ALERT! RED ALERT! CAPTAIN BRNINE IS DYING!
Saffron Septet running to see what the fuck is happening...
OH COMMITMENT, POOR COMMITMENT :( searching it's elect and integrity... need another elect...
Branched, go get Commitment!!! Go get it!!
Did they forgot the tier difference on the princept fight? Eh, it was fun.
Routine joining Starioma. Best worst case scenario. Please save him. Please.
"When did we break up???" So true ali, so true, together and still toxic.
I hate that brnine/gucci ship has overtaken me.
"Did they just win??? There is only one princept." I mean kinda?
Cori is sweet. Thisbe and Brnine convo... Phrygian made the best cereal box mazes... Branched Man...
They sound SO TIRED! And there is 40 minutes left in the episode!!
Cas will become the next apokine..... oh no.... oh cas......
Gur told me about them. About... Valence?? About the tapes.
They are never going to play the rest of the eclectic-brnine -scene, huh.
Jesset texts! Emoji between a heart and a sparkle... Two hearts is ambiguous.... :) :) :) Jesset Boyfriend City is real....
"I was SURE you would've died on the combustor"... aaaaghhh she LOVES them!!
YAASS, GO SAVE THE PEOPLE FROM THE AFFLICTION SMOOOOKE!! FACE YOUR FEAAAARS, FACE YOUR REGREEEETS! Omnomnom it will be tasty!!
Big! Swings! We love it! The drama! Big! Moves! Moves that MATTER! Fuck the empire UP!! WE WILL LEAP!!
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Ranking Harry Potter books as I read them for the first time. This post took five weeks to write.
1. The Sorcerer’s/Philosopher’s Stone, 5/10
(12/24/22)
- Good first book! Hermione is. The actual worst but that's okay she’s eleven. I binged it in two days and I was very satisfied. It wasn't great, it wasn't bad. It was just a pretty good book all around, so it’s get a middle ground rating to provide room for others.
(post mortum (thoughts after reading all of the books): I think Sorcerer's Stone is deffo on the weaker side of the series, but it's VERY fun to think about what the fuck these kids were getting into at eleven years old with their fucking Wizard Chess, knowing all the trauma they're going to endure by the time they're seventeen. )
2. Chamber of Secrets, 2/10
(12/29/22)
- LITERALLY TRASH. i had to force myself through this book. It was awful. It was so. I think the only part I liked was Fawkes.
(post mortum: No yeah all of my thoughts on this book remain the same. I do like the call back to the basilisk corpse just vibing down there, and I like Myrtle a lot and wish she was more of a character in later books since she was (presumably??) Tom's first murder, even if accidental.)
3. Prisoner of Azkaban, 9/10
(1/05/23)
- GOOD book. Dragged a bit at times, but was MUCH better than Chamber of Secrets. Obsessed with Sirius, obsessed with the map, obsessed with everyone.
(post mortum: I THINK ABOUT THIS BOOK SO MUCH. SO VERY MUCH. i am haunted by the fact that Remus Lupin lived all those years thinking the only people to ever love him unconditionally and adapted to his illness and went out of their way to make his life better all either died or suffered fates worse than death at this point, and he fucking comes back to Hogwarts and elects to pretend he doesn't know Harry??? PROBABLY TO PROTECT HIM?? DEVASTATING dude. Devastating. And he probably thinks that it has something to do with HIM that all of his friends are dead and it's NOT, REMUS. IT'S NOT. and also just. the fact he became close with Harry anyway, and the way he hugs Sirius the second he sees him and the way, the way, the way. I think about the line "DIE! DIE RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS!" Daily because that says so much about both Sirius and Remus, known outcasts and loathed, disowned children. The blood of the covenant, you guys. The blood of the fucking covenant.)
4. Goblet of Fire, 8/10
(1/11/23)
- LOVED this. Best so far fr. I still. Dont understand the hype around Draco. Its deffo because of his actor, I’d put money at it. I laugh at his silly ass every time he enters the screen. I’m obsessed with Cedric and I’m obsessed with him and Harry’s dynamics. This is also the first point to make me SOB so extra points. I’m just leaving space for something to be better though I DOUBT IT.
(post mortum: I spend everyday understanding why and loathing the fact Cedric died. "kill the spare." what haunting words. What a devastating blow. I think it would've been more devastating if he was one of the people Harry brought back with the stone in that brief period at the end of Deathly Hallows, but also the way he's just left, forgotten.)
5. Order of the Phoenix, 4/10
(1/18/23)
- this book could have been my favorite, if it was like, four hundred pages shorter? I think a lot of the issues I have with this book is that is should have been split into two different books or something. I see why it couldn't have been and following the whole 'seven years of school' thing, but this book does have a lot going on all at once making it overly long. I do think it was good, though.
(post mortum: WHY DID I NOT TALK ABOUT THE FIRST USAGE OF HARRY'S UNFORGIVABLE CURSES HERE??? No let's go back. I think I just couldn't get over how long it was, but Sirius' death did fully fuck me up really bad, and the fucking way. The way Harry chases down Bellatrix after that, the way his first Unforgivable Curse is in agony because his father figure was just killed right before him. The way Remus drags him away. The way it all goes down is soooooo much to unpack. ALSO THE IMPLICATIONS THIS HAS FOR REMUS. I think he and Tonks had something going on in this scene, but seeing Sirius die like this caused him to backtrack and then we get the whole little background arc with them we see in book six.)
6. The Half-Blood Prince, 7/10
(1/23/23)
- This was really good!! i know in the fanbase it's a very disliked book?? Because a lot of my friends are hp fans and say the fandom hated this one, but i think it was really good !! I see where the Drarry popularity came from in this one (*cough* train car and bathroom scenes *cough*) and I do think that final scene with Dumbledore added SOME sympathy to Draco's character, so that's good. i still don't like him thought.
I'm intensely in afeared of the Deathly Hallows, though. During that final fight I was SO scared my boy Remus was gonna bite the dust and I cannot have that. I can't. They already took Sirius they have to let me keep the wolfboy he's whats holding me together
(post mortum: so, after reading this book I sent my friend a list off characters I didn't think I'd emotionallly handle very well dying in Deathly Hallows, which was, quote, in ranked order "Lupin, Tonks, Fred, George, Mad-Eye Moody, Neville, Luna." and y'all. But, back to the Half-Blood Prince. The scene at the end with Bill and Fleur and Tonks and Lupin.... Tonks using Fleur as a jumping off point to call Remus on his bullshit,,,, Remus trying to get Molly and Arthur to back him up and they both just 'no, dude, you're fucking in love and we all see it, you just have unsolved issues because you've never been loved like this before and anyone you have loved has died tragically.' Like SHIT MAN. I should talk about someone who is not Remus fucking Lupin but I really have no thoughts not about Remus Lupin, my favorite plush is literally named Moony and I have another named Prongs. Like. Unwell behavior.)
7. Deathly Hallows, 6/10
(1/30/23)
I think this book is a fairly good conclusion the Harry Potter narrative, but it also suffers from the same issue every book in this series has of taking fucking forever to kick in with the drama and cramming it all in the last third of the book, so points off.
Points off again for orphaning Teddy Lupin OFF SCREEN like that. Points back for Percy trying to protect Fred’s body like that what the FUCK.
Points off for only killing one Weasley twin what a cruel and unusual punishment for George specifically.
Points back for the entire existence of Molly Weasley
Points off for Harry doing the MOST out of character thing and apparently not fulfilling his only promise to Lupin of raising Teddy if anything happened to him? Like yeah Harry was like, 17/18 but also this is HARRY “keep my promises to people I trust and admire even if it means burning bridges” POTTER. he would’ve fistfought anyone to keep that promise to Remus and when he realized he’s Bad at Babies™️ he would’ve employed the help of Molly and Arthur. I die on this hill.
More points off for Harry not naming his daughter after Minerva McGonagall? Like. Sure his mom is important to him or whatever but Minerva was like, the female Dumbledore to Harry? Like, she constantly put her ass on the line for him and he always recognized this and he leaned on her MORE than Dumbledore. What. The fuck. Even like, Lily Minerva Potter would’ve been fine by me. Give this woman SOMETHING. Christ on a cracker.
And that’s Harry Potter thoughts in summary. I don’t accept the epilogue, nor do I accept the Cursed Child in the first act I’ve read. Except Scorpius Malfoy, I fucking love this little dude he’s so wild. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
Oh also, James Potter infected my brain within the four scenes or whatever that he had and I'm apologizing in advance to my followers for the coming Marauders Era Lark Era we're about to enter. Sorry Mutuals, I'm subjecting you to Remus Lupin and James Potter thoughts.
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