#this is for all the little gay people in my phone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arlana-likes-to-write · 15 hours

Text

Second Chance - Chapter 13

Masterlist

Warning: small amount of angst (talking about death, past trauma), mostly fluff, swearing, gay panic(both reader and Yelena are in love your honor)

Note: This has been my favorite chapter I've written so far this story.

Word Count: 3.5k

You understood why people rode motorcycles. There was no way to hear your thoughts over the engine’s roar. The whipping wind covered your arms and legs in goosebumps. As you swerved through traffic or made turns, your heart would pound. It was freeing. Yelena slowed down to a stop at a red light. “How are you doing, Easton?”

“Good,” you smiled. “Where are you taking me? You aren’t kidnapping me, right?”

“If I were, I would not tell you. That would be very dumb,” you rolled your eyes and pinched her sides. She yelped as the light turned. “You are so annoying.” You giggled and held onto her as she took off. This was oddly nice. At the moment, you weren’t a girl trying to beat a deadly disease. You were just a girl on the back of a motorcycle with no care.

“You brought me to an aquarium,” you said, a little shocked as you took the helmet off. Yelena helped you off the bike. Your legs were a little shaky.

“Yeah, you like to draw animals, so I thought it was a good idea,” she busied herself with locking up the bike, but you liked the blush that covered her cheeks. “If you want to go somewhere else, we can.”

“No!” You cringed at how aggressive that sounded. Yelena stood up with her eyebrows to her hairline. “I’d-” your phone started to ring and cut you off. Sighing, you pulled out your phone. It was Tony. You stared at it, weighing the options in your head. Either answer it and explain you’ll be back at the tower later or ignore the car, text him that the doctor’s appointment went well, and tell him you’ll talk later. You chose the latter and sent him a quick text. “I’d love to go with you,” you said to Yelena. “I may fact, ramble, so tell me to shut up if I’m annoying.” Yelena smiled.

“Never, I like listening to you talk.” It was your turn to heat up.

“Oh,” your voice cracked. Goodness, this woman was trying to kill you. Yelena chuckled and offered you her arm.

“Come on, Easton, let’s see if you know your stuff.”

“What the fuck is that?” Yelena asked, staring into the tank. You smacked her chest at her language as you saw some kids nearby. She looked offended, but you pointed at the kids. Rolling her eyes, she looked back at the creature.

“It’s an Atlantic sturgeon,” there was no need for you to look at the plague to know what it was. It was like that for all the animals you passed.

“I think you meant dinosaur,” you laughed and shook your hand.

“You are not wrong. They are considered living fossils,” you were looking at the creature swimming around, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Yelena watching you, hanging onto every word you said. That also happened at every exhibit. Even though you were worried you were annoying her, she reassured you weren’t and to keep talking. That was different. You went to an aquarium with some girl you met online; she found you annoying after the first exhibit. You kept quiet after that. “There are over 28 species of sturgeon, and the earliest fossil was dated to the Late Cretaceous period.” You heard Yelena mumble, ‘So dinosaur.’ You smiled and continued, “Atlantic sturgeons were abundant but have declined due to overfishing, water pollution, and habitat impediments.” The blonde frowned.

“Why do humans suck?” You laughed as you moved to the next part of the aquarium.

“I think it stems from some of us believing they are entitled to an Earth that we share,” you shrugged. You were excited to walk through the tunnel and see the sharks. According to the pamphlet, they had a few black-tip reef sharks. “But conservation efforts have made positive efforts to undo some of the damage.”

“Do you think it’s enough?” You looked at Yelena. Her eyes were on the animal in front of her, but once again, she seemed a million miles away.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Over time, the scars may fade away, but the memory of what happened stays,” you sighed. “I don’t think that will ever go away.” You hated the sad look on her face. You pulled her to the next area, which focused on the restoration effects that the aquarium was part of.

“However,” it was perfect timing as an employee came out with a little penguin. The area soon became filled as everyone tried to get a look at the little creature. You watched Yelena’s eyes light up as the employee set the baby down and it waddled to its parents. You glanced at the temporary sign that explained what happened. The female penguin was rescued from a fishing net. She was pregnant, and her fin had to be amputated. The aquarium staff slowly introduced her to a lone penguin that wouldn’t mate. It was the aquarium’s first same-sex couple. “Even in the darkest times, something beautiful can emerge.”

You couldn’t help but look at Yelena. The blonde caught you staring at her, and her eyes glanced down to your lips, but she focused back on the penguins. You let out a shaky breath and pushed the thought of kissing her out of your head.

On the third phone call, Yelena couldn’t ignore her sister anymore. “Oh, so your phone isn’t broken,” she rolled her eyes at Natasha’s teasing comment. The blonde stepped to the side while you stayed at the touch pool. You tried to get her to touch some animals, but Yelena refused to put her hand in the water. “Did you kidnap her?”

“No!” Yelena huffed. “She came with me willing,” she sighed. “Okay, that sounded like a kidnapping plot.” Her sister laughed.

“You chose the wrong day to confess your feelings to her. Stark is annoyed.” Yelena thought that man was a giant toddler. Today was going perfectly, and she wasn’t sure if she would tell you anything. You needed a day away from doctor appointments and a reminder of what would come. You needed a day to smile, laugh, and see the beauty in life. Yelena wanted to give that to you.

“Look, I have a few more planned ideas, and Stark has called her three times. Can you get him off her back?”

“Will I be the maid of honor at the wedding?”

“Suka (bitch),” Yelena mumbled as her sister laughed again. “I’m doing this because her doctor appointment was not great.” She stopped laughing immediately.

“What do you mean?” So Yelena told her everything from the lie you told, refusing to use Morgan, and the next steps for your treatment. “Fuck, okay, I’ll deal with Stark. Just enjoy the day with your girl.”

“She is not my girl,” Yelena huffed. Natasha laughed, and Yelena hung up before her sister could say anything else.

“Here,” the blonde turned around and saw you with three bags from the gift shop. You were handing one of them to her. “I got you something.”

“Easton,” she whined. “I was going to buy you something.” You rolled your eyes.

“Just take the gift, Blondie,” she snatched the bag from your hand. Deep down, her heart skipped, and she was fighting to keep a smile off her face. “The dinosaur? Seriously?” She pulled out a stuffed sea demon from earlier.

“Sturgeon,” you laughed. “There is something else in there,” Yelena grumbled and opened the bag again. At the bottom was a small jewelry box. She opened it, and there was a ring inside. It was a simple silver ring with a turtle charm. “A ring to replace the one you gave me,” you explained. “Also, they donate a small amount of the proceeds to save turtles and,” you pulled out a small piece of paper from your pocket. “Every ring has a tracking number, so go to that website and track your turtle.” Yelena smiled. The turtles were her favorite part, and the face you picked up on that made her happy.

“Thank you. You did not have to get me anything,” you smiled, looking at the ground and shrugging your shoulders.

“It’s the least I could do for you taking me here. I had a lot of fun.”

“Well, the day isn’t over yet.”

A quick stop at her motorcycle to put away your bags, and Yelena gave you her jacket so you could walk by the water. You were grateful for the pockets to keep your hands to yourself instead of grabbing Yelena’s. “Do you want to know something funny?” You asked her. She nodded right away. “My mom was terrified of the water. She was so shocked that I was drawn to it,” she smiled at you. “I miss her,” you admitted. “Going through this without her sucks.” You felt your throat burn as you tried to keep your tears away. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to make this depressing.” You saw Yelena move her hand, and she whipped away a tear that fell down your cheek.

“Do not apologize for talking about her or your condition,” she said. “It is a part of who you are.” She stopped to pick up a seashell and handed it to you. You smiled and looked it over. It was a perfect cockle with different shades of purple. “The past can be complicated to talk about.” You slipped the shell in your pant pocket. You grabbed her hand instead of putting your hands back in the jacket. She smiled at it.

“You can talk to me about your past, too,” you told her. “I won’t force you to, though.” The blonde shrugged.

“There is not much to discuss,” she said. “I was trained to be a pawn in a man’s chess game.” You read the files on the Red Room that SHIELD had, so you knew a fraction of what she went through.

“But you are free now,” she nodded and kicked up some of the sand. You walked in silence until she sighed.

“I used to live in Ohio,” she said. “With Natasha and our parents.” You stayed quiet and allowed Yelena the space and time to speak. “It was a mission crafted by the Red Room, but it was the closest thing I had to a normal life. I was six when the mission was over.” Your heart broke for her. She was far too young to be subjected to such darkness.

“I bet you were a cute kid,” you said, knowing Yelena did not want your pity.

“Oh, the cutest,” you liked the smile that was now back on her face.

“And the biggest troublemaker,” you teased. The blonde gasped.

“I was an angel, a perfect child,” you rolled your eyes and dropped her hand.

“Keep telling yourself that, Blondie,” you pushed your fingers into her side and laughed at the yelp she let out.

“You are in for it now, Easton,” you took off running and heard her race after her. You felt privileged to listen to her laughter so unguarded and unrestrained. You wanted to hear it again and again.

You pulled Yelena into a small store while she led you to a nearby restaurant she found online. The reason was because you saw a small sketchbook from the window. It had a collage of pictures from the area. “Don’t you have enough sketchbooks,” the blonde teased you as you walked up to the counter with your sketchbook and a pencil.

“You can never have too many sketchbooks,” you left the store with your bag in hand. “And this sketchbook will remind me of our day today.” You smiled. Yelena’s face softened, and she grabbed your hand.

“Are you going to show me what you draw in it?” You shrugged.

“Maybe, Blondie, maybe.”

That is how you found yourself at a table with Yelena, whining to see your sketchbook. You finished your appetizers and were waiting for the main course. While you ate and talked about everything and nothing, you were sketching. It was nothing special; it was just basic line work of moments from your day. Later, you could add more details and color them. There were moments you couldn’t forget. The way her eyes lit up when she saw the penguin. Her smile when you got her the ring. You wanted to remember them forever.

“Come on, Easton,” she whined for the fifth time. “Let me see them,” you rolled your eyes and closed the book.

“They aren’t even started,” you sipped on your water. “I like to sketch out sides so I don’t forget them.”

“How did you get into drawing?” You smiled.

“My great-grandmother, actually. She died before I was born. She was an artist, and I thought she was the coolest person,” you explained. “So my mom got me an art set for Christmas. I feel in love with it.” Before Yelena could respond, the waitress approached the table with food. You both thanked her, and you took a pill to help with the nausea. If Yelena saw you take it she didn’t draw attention to it.

“So, can I see?” She asked and pointed to the book. She gave you perfect puppy dog eyes. With a shake of your head, you handed it to her. You observed her face as she flipped through the first few pages. The realization that you were drawing her dawned on her, and she set the book down.

“You are drawing me,” you nodded. “Why?” You wanted to give her many compliments, but they died on your tongue.

“My nana used to tell my mom to draw what inspires you,” you shrugged and focused on your salad. It’s easy to feel inspired when I’m with you.” You heard a surprise noise that came from the back of her throat. Her cheeks were light pink. “Making you blush is kind of cute, too.” The blush on her cheeks depended.

“You are so annoying,” she mumbled, throwing her straw wrapper at you. You laughed and focused on your food. It was so easy to act like this with her. It may be too easy.

The view was amazing. After dinner, Yelena drove back into the city and once again refused to tell you where she was taking you. It was far from the tower even though it was past 9 o’clock. Instead, she took you to one of the high-rise apartments where a young girl was waiting for you with extra jackets and gloves to let you in. So you stood on the apartment’s roof, leaning against the railing and looking at the city skyline. “Hot chocolate for you,” Yelena said, handing you a cup. You thanked her with a smile. She stood next to you, her arm barely touching yours.

“Why did you do this?” You asked. The question had been nagging at you since dinner. She shrugged.

“I wanted to,” you face her as she sipped on her drink. Finally, she sighed. “I saw you lose a little hope today at the doctor’s. He said for you to get through the nest phase, you can not lose that so,” she sipped on her drink again. “I was hoping today you would see something to help with that.” And she was right. It was annoying how easily the Black Widow could read you. During your appointment, you didn’t lose hope; you wanted someone to fight this battle for you. You wanted someone to hug you and not tell you it would be okay because that wasn’t certain. You wanted someone to be by your side through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You wanted her. That scared the shit out of you.

“You are supposed to be looking at the view,” she teased you. You weren’t sure how to tell her that you rather look at her. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You were supposed to go through this alone to save yourself and her from the heartbreak.

Life has a funny way of testing you. Why did this disease have to bring you together? Soon, Yelena started leaning closer to you. Before your lips touched, you placed your hand on her chest to stop her. “What are you doing?” You questioned.

“I was going to kiss you,” she whispered. “Do you not want me to?” Oh, you wanted her to. You wanted to know what her lips felt like on yours or her hands on your waist. To finally feel her heartbeat against yours. But you couldn’t give her that. Instead of answering, you pulled away from her and ran inside. Running was something you excelled in. You ran from the pain of losing your mom and your friends. You ran to New York because DC reminded you too much of what was. So you went back to what you knew and ran.

“Wait,” Yelena called after you as you opened the door and threw your hot chocolate away. It was much warmer inside, and you pushed the elevator button. “Can we talk about this?”

“I don’t do this,” you pointed to the space between you and her. “While I’m going through this.” You refused to look at her.

“Because you are dying.” You nodded.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you,” the elevator opened, but Yelena stopped you from entering. “Let me go,” your voice cracked. It was pathetic how weak you sounded in your demand as if you never wanted her to let you go.

“Why do you get to decide what is fair for me?” She questioned. Finally, you looked at her. She has a determined look and a tighter grip on your hand. You’ve seen her like this only at training: determined, focused. When you stayed quiet, she continued, “I have thought about it. I understand the possible outcome, but what if you live and we wasted time because of fear,” your mouth became dry as you stared at her. “We all end up dying some sooner than others. Why should we let fear of dying stop us from living?” You licked your lips.

“I’m not afraid,” you weren’t. You told Pepper and Tony that. A small part of you was surprised you’ve lived as long as you had. You survived the car accident, the Blip, and a hurricane in the Atlantic. Still, you refused to die. It was like a bad joke that cancer was the thing that was going to kill you. Not the dangerous animals you faced, the unpredictable weather, and the less-than-safe places you visited as a solo female traveler. It was going to be cancer.

“I think you are, maybe not of death, and that is okay because I am afraid too,” she took a step closer, and your back hit the wall behind you. “But I have lost so many years because a man thought he was entitled to my body. I do not want to waste any more time.”

“I’m not afraid,” you repeated. Yelena softly smiled.

“Then prove it,” you rushed forward, your hands on her neck and your lips against hers. Her hands moved to your waist and pulled you closer to her. You could feel how fast her heart was beating, or maybe it was yours. You knew you were screwed as soon as your lips touched hers. They were soft and tasted of hot chocolate, the chapstick she used, and her dinner. You pulled away and rested your forehead against hers. You closed your eyes and tried to get your breathing under control. It was no surprise that she would leave you breathless.

“I don’t want to break your heart,” you admitted and opened your eyes. She closed them and let out a shaky breath that you felt against your lips.

“I do not want you to either,” she whispered. “But if you do, then I am glad I gave my heart to you to break.”

You snuck back into the tower and onto Yelena’s floor. Her hand held tightly onto yours. It was impossible not to follow her. Her apartment had a similar layout to yours but not as decorated. You had no time to look around as she dragged you into her bedroom and gave you some of her clothes to wear. Once you changed and your teeth brushed, you lay under the covers of her bed with her head on your chest. You chuckled. “What’s so funny, Easton?” She asked.

“Nothing,” you ran your fingers through her hair and felt her melt against you. “I didn’t like you’d like to be the little spoon.” You felt her tense. “Noting wrong with that,” you reassured her. “Everyone deserves some cuddles.” Yelena sighed, and you felt her fingers grab your free hand.

“I like listening to your heartbeat,” she whispered. “It is comforting.” Who would have thought that a Black Widow was such a softie? You smiled and kissed her head.

“Thank you for today,” you said. “I forgot how much I miss enjoying life with another person.” She stayed quiet, and that was okay. You figured today was a lot for the blonde, but the silence was comforting and less lonely.

Taglist: @likemick, @averagetmblrusser, @wandaromamoff69, @simpforyelenabelova, @cd-4848,

#second chance #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x you #yelena belova x y/n stark #yelena belova x stark!reader #yelena belova #black widow fanfiction

25 notes · View notes

hotluncheddie · 1 year

Text

Seasons change, but people don't.

or three times steve asks eddie to stay, plus one time he finally does.

(my entry for @thefreakandthehair 's winter fic challenge! my prompt was "lets just stay here, watch the snow a little longer." and it turned into a lot of Eddie Munson being silly and spans all the seasons. 6.2k)

Ao3

✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

Spring 1985

Eddie feels like his skin is too small. His scalp is prickling and he’s had the worst fucking day, okay? His stupid math and science teachers are in kahoots, he knows it. He’s shit in both their classes and they hate him and have it out for him and there's nothing he can do now. His grades are too low, he cant make it up and they don’t like him so there's no way out. Not charming anyone, no sob story that could save his sorry ass now. He’s not graduating. Again. He has to repeat senior year. Again.

And the added layer to his shit cake of a day? King Steve wants to buy from him. Today, right now. Oh ho ho is he gonna get overcharged sooo bad. Seeing as eddie has to postpone his wallowing to wait at his stupid little bench in the stupid woods behind the stupid school.

The spring air is nice at least, a little breeze blowing through the trees and the bench is warm from the sun. He's only been waiting for about 5 minutes before the telltale rustles and snaps of someone coming towards his spot are heard.

Steve the hair Harrington is here. With his long stupid legs and his stupid jacket and eddie is not! In the mood!

‘Hey man’ Steve slumps down onto the bench across from Eddie with a sigh and, huh. He looks really fucking tired. Like, if Eddie were his friend he would be seriously concerned.

Steve is not Eddie's friend.

‘Hey yourself. 30 bucks. Cool?’ Eddie gets the baggie out of his little black lunchbox and holds it out. Steve just kind of looks at it. ‘What?’ Eddie snaps. He doesn’t have time for this.

Steve flinches at his tone and looks at Eddie with his big puppy eyes (yes! Eddie knows Steve Harrington is a pretty boy jock and yes! Eddie has had his little gay boy fantasies about Steve Harrington and no! Eddie is not proud of it!) and ohhh my god Eddie does not have time for this!!

‘Sorry sorry, yeah man. Here.’ Steve takes out the cash and hands it over, but still doesn’t take the bag. He shuffles around, sticking his hands in his ugly preppy jacket ‘You. You wouldn’t roll for me would you?.. I’ll pay extra.’

Eddie scoffs, god what a day! Now this! ‘Baby never had to roll for himself before? Oh! to be royalty. I don’t have time Harrington, go get one of your lackeys to do it.’ He stands and Eddie knows his voice is icy, that a deal in the woods doesn’t require so much bite but he can’t help it. He needs his shitty fucking day to be over.

Steve's cheeks redden and he picks at the table. Eddie was expecting a rise, that classic king Steve bite back. But he just looks kinda like he’s going to throw up? ‘I can roll. I. I could roll. My um, my hands shake. My hands shake so I can't roll anymore.’ And he looks sad, the puppy dog eyes just timesed themselves by like, 10.

Eddie melts. He knows his heart is too soft and squishy, his dad always loved to tell him so.

‘Hand it over Harrington. And change your face, you’re breaking my heart man.’ Eddie rolls his eyes and huffs and makes a big show of sitting back on the bench, like rolling a couple silly little blunts for silly little Steve Harrington isn’t literally going to take him 5 minutes.

‘Sorry, sorry. Um thanks. Thank you man, really.’ Ugh, he still looks sad and now he looks guilty too! Fuck!

‘You’re fine man, seriously. Okay? I’ve just had a shitty day, rolling your stupid blunts for you isn’t going to make it worse, promise.’ Eddie flashes his teeth, gets out his spare papers and starts rolling. The familiar movements helping him relax a little.

‘Okay well, thanks still. Uh and sorry, sorry your day was shit dude.’ Eddie side eyes Steve and watches him scrub a hand over his face. He really looks like shit, how did Eddie only just notice?

‘It's whatever. I’m simply forsaken to haunt the hallowed Hawkins High hallways for another year. A travesty for everyone involved honestly.’ and Steve just squints at him for a second, before breathing out a ‘shit, man’ which makes Eddie bark out a laugh. Maybe this new king Steve is more entertaining than the last one.

‘You wanna um, like, share? Now?’ And isn’t that a question, smoke up with the hair? Oh if Eddie of yesteryear could see him now.

‘Thanks for the offer your majesty but I have a prior engagement’ Eddie stands again and ignores that Steve looks a little disappointed… Weird fucking day. ‘Enjoy though. hope it helps you sleep dude, you look like you need it.’ Eddie packs up his things, he feels a stress headache starting and he really does just want to go home, play his guitar maybe. Build up the courage to talk to Wayne.

‘Sure, of course. Yeah, yeah. Thanks.’ Steve grimaces, but the corners of his lips rise a little, in a self deprecating way. It looks real, genuine. It suits him, Eddie thinks, being genuine.

‘No really, you kinda look like shit dude.’ Eddie can't help it, if he’s given a little he’ll take a lot. Especially if it’s from pretty boys who don’t look like they’re about to beat the shit out of him.

‘Get the fuck outa here Munson’ Steve rolls his eyes and is smiling like he's trying not to. Eddie’s lizard brain wants to eat him. Eddie’s Eddie brain still wants to go home, but the pit in his stomach feels a little shallower. He starts to walk backwards out of the clearing.

‘Hey, Eddie?’ Steve is looking at the two neat spliffs in his palm. Eddie slows his steps as Steve glances up at him. ‘Just. Uh. There's a lot worse things out there than repeating senior year a couple times, okay dude? A lot worse.’ And there's a fire behind Steve's eyes that Eddie didn’t know was possible. Intense, brave, harrowed.

Eddie is frozen for a second, held by this person in front of him. Someone he thought he knew, because Eddie knows how to read people and Steve Harrington was always so simple. But this Steve Harrington? This is new. Eddie's stomach twists. He needs to go home.

He bows deeply, flourishing his hand and spins on his heel… He might just keep an eye out for Steve Harrington from now on.

Summer 1985

This was definitely not what Eddie had in mind when he said he would keep an eye out for Steve Harrington.

He’s ready to head home for the night, after selling from the back porch of cheerleader Stacy Hofferman’s big ass house. The party was to celebrate the coming school year or something equally asinine. But his pockets are fat with rich kid cash and bummed cigarettes he didn’t need, so theres a fucking spring in his step okay? Sue him.

Steve Harrington is splayed on the front lawn, like a starfish and is humming some, carnival song? Wasted. Maybe a little crossfaded, but he didn’t buy anything from Eddie this time so he hopes the near empty vodka bottle is the only thing coursing through those veins right now. He doesn’t need to add Steve Harrington to his conscience tonight. But Eddie is a curious guy, so he saunters over.

Oh god. Oh no. Steve’s in shorts. Cut off jean shorts. Plus his hair still looks good, even all sprawled out on the grass. Fuck. Eddie hates him. He's still grappling with the memory of seeing Steve in that little sailor outfit at the mall. Now this!

‘You gonna sing me a song Harrington?’ Eddie’s sneakers stop either side of Steve's head and he leans over a little. Watches as Steve's eyes try to focus, squint a little before recognition brings a smile to Steve's face, mischief to his eyes. Huh, okay that's new. Not bad, but definitely new.

‘Daisy bell doesn’t have words Eddie’ Steve fucking giggles at him and okay, yep, yep. Wasted.

‘You got a ride home harrington? Might want to cut the party here, yeah?’ Eddie is a weak weak man and something about his first name coming out of Steve Harrington's mouth lights a little fire in his belly. Ugh. Disgusting.

Steve's face falls a little and his eyes go unfocused again. ‘Nah, can’t be there right now man. M’ good here.’

‘Outside on the grass? You not gonna try getting lucky tonight king Steve?’ Something about Steve being out here alone doesn’t sit right with Eddie. Sure Steve isn’t as surrounded with starry eyed guys and gals after graduating, and maybe a little before then too. But surely he came here with someone who would be pulling him up and away at the end of the night, keeping some sort of an eye out for him. Not that that person would ever be Eddie, but still. It’s, you know, the principle of the thing.

Steve sucks in a breath that puffs his cheeks out, eyes going comically wide before letting the breath out, slow. ‘Nahhhhh dude, haven’t been lucky for a long time.’ and his eyes go unfocused, glassy in the streetlights. ‘Doesn’t feel the same now anyway, not fun like it used to be.’ Suddenly he looks much older, older than Eddie, older than any 19 year old should. Lost in thoughts that draw great shadows onto the planes of his face.

His eyes snap back up to Eddie, the fog clearing a little. ‘Think the scoops ahoy uniform killed my chances off already anyway. Lots of good things to come out of the mall being destroyed, I don’t have to scoop ice cream in shorts for one.’ He laughs, a little hysterical, and Eddie kind of feels like he's intruding, like there's a lot more to what Steve is saying right now and Eddie is not privy to any of it.

Eddie smiles though and shoves his hands in his pockets, pulling out his pack and a lighter, fiddling with them. Steve takes another long pull from the bottle, god that shit smells like paint remover. Eddie can almost see the hangover brewing under Steve's honey skin.

Steve’s looking at him again. Upside down, on some girls' front lawn. And then he sucker punches eddie, out of fucking nowhere. ‘Stay and stargaze with me? Whadayasay Munson?’ his smile is dopey and drunk, he's so drunk. Drunk Steve Harrington just asked him to stargaze. Eddie thinks maybe the rumours about Hawkins being cursed actually might be true. But it's Eddie who’s cursed. Cursed to be confused by pretty jocks who turn out nothing like he ever expected.

‘Fraid not sailor, for I am Cinderella and the clock just struck midnight.’ Eddie amps up the theatrics, he's nervous. Steve Harrington can’t know how on the back foot he feels right now. Confusing, charming fucker. ‘I can also feel the old lady next door itching to call the pigs and I am not about to deal with their hairy eyeballs tonight. No sir, the summer air is too sweet for that.’ Eddie steps away from Steve, angling his back towards the street. He feels goosebumps rising, even in the heat. He wants to run.

‘You gonna be okay tho?’ Eddie can’t help it. Stupid. Steve Harrington turning his heart gooey for a second time.

Steve sits up on his elbows and looks at Eddie, eyes suddenly frighteningly clear. ‘You’re a sweet guy Munson. Anyone ever tell you that?’ Eddie shakes his head. ‘My secret then. Eddie Muson, total sweetheart.’ he says it into the breeze and Eddie is set alight at the idea of being seen. Being more than the freak who has the goods so we tolerate him.

‘Don’t go spreading my secrets now Harrington.’ Going for light but the tightness in his throat won’t let him, it comes out raspy. Eddis backs away to his van, parked at the end of the lawn. Steve just huffs a laugh and flops back down.

From the driver's seat Eddie takes his time lighting his cigarette and changing the tape. But his eyes are on Steve, as he gets up on shaky legs, swinging the nearly empty vodka bottle with him. He stumbles back into the huddle of bodies by the front door. Eddie lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Steve Harrinton, full of surprises. Eddie drives home and half hopes to never see him again. Eddie doesn’t much care for surprises.

Autumn 1986

Eddie shouldn’t be surprised, not now. Not by the Steve Harrington he went to hell with. Who dragged him back into the light. The boy with the nail bat who never seemed to stop swinging, not till Vecna was gone and the gates were locked up tight. Who’s hand still flexes like he misses the weight of the splintered wood, like he wants it back so he can protect the people he loves. Which by some divine intervention seems to include Eddie Munson of all people.

Eddie shouldn’t be surprised, but he is. Steve Harrington is the single most confusing person Eddie has ever met. He’s obsessed with him. He’s on his way to falling for him. Head over fucking heels fucked for Steve straight boy Harrignton. Divine intervention indeed.

Steve is waiting for him now, leaning on the hood of the beamer, picking him up after physical therapy, which is still kinda kicking his ass. What with the new colder temperatures making his bones ache and his dick nurse insisting that; no he couldn’t suck himself off before so he definitely won't be able to after, even with all the stretching he’s having to do. What fresh hell am I right?

Steve is waiting for him, with his stupid long legs and his ugly jacket and the disgustingly fond smile he tortures eddie with because he’s already wrapped in his winter coat. Hood up against the wind because the last, last! Thing Eddie wants these days is to be cold and apparently that amuses Steve enough to look at Eddie like hes a fucking kitten or something. Horrid!

‘Still a no?’ Eddie is scowling, he knows he is. He shakes his head and Steve's smile just grows a little wider. Fucker.

‘Come on.’ Steve flicks his zipper and Eddie gnashes his teeth at him. He’s not even in that bad a mood. Steve looking after him sometimes just kind of makes him feel all fizzy, electric.

It was worse before. Right after. When Steve was coming to visit him in hospital, almost more than Wayne, bringing Eddie things to read and generally being a ray of fucking sunshine compared to the staff and Eddie himself. He would sit with Eddie and Eddie wouldn’t want to talk because everything hurt. He would sit with Eddie and complain about the kids being annoying, bitch about his parents being the worst and bemoan the fact that he needed to find a new job ASAP and really didn’t want to get another shitty retail one. Wanted to find something he was really good at, maybe help people, look out for them the way he did Dustin and Robin, be something that was all him.

And Eddie? He ate up every bitchy, snarky, earnest moment of it. Got to know Steve Harrington that was equally everything and nothing like who he had met before. But the real fucking cherry on top? Eddie talked too, just as much once he started healing. Talked to Steve with and about Wayne, his shitty Dad, how much he loves metal and Dungeons and Dragons, how all he thinks he’s ever really wants to do is tell stories that make people feel a little less alone.

They talked and Eddie went and ruined it by letting his heart run away with itself. Fucking swan diving right off the ledge named ‘totally normal none gay feelings about Steve Harrington’ and into the pool of regret that is ‘I want to kiss him, I want to kiss him. Please God let me kiss him, it’s me again Eddie Munson.’ Pathetic.

So sometimes, when Steve is being just lovely, picking Eddie up. Eddie’s blood boils in his veins and his scarred skin buzzes with the tension of not being able to hold Steve’s hand across the gear stick like he so desperately wants to.

Eddie doesn't even have the energy to comment on Steve playing The Cure, making fun of him for letting Jonathan rub off on him too much lately (the four (+Argyle) of them hanging out regularly to smoke up). Instead, he internally makes fun of himself for feeling actually personally attacked by how relatable and familiar the whiny, lovesick lyrics sound. The sky opening up into a downpour just adding to the mood, pathetic fallacy up the wazoo today, apparently.

But Steve is talking to him so of course Eddie listens, because it's Steve and Eddie is what? Pathetic. That's right.

‘And then Dustin went on this whole spiel about how I should really be thanking him for everything he does. All the advice he gives me, that I did not, actually, fucking ask for. Can you believe the gaul of that kid Ed’s?’ and Eddie laughs at Steve because actually yes, yes he fucking can.

‘Maybe we should go full revolt and tell Mrs. Henderson about it, really take him down a peg. She’s basically adopted you, she'd take your side for sure Stevie.’ Steve nods at the idea but he’s still scowling because getting wound up seems to be his go to reaction for most things, being vaguely annoyed is his default. Eddie is not happy to admit that this is something he also finds attractive about Steve Harrington. Did he mention he was pathetic?

‘Well before that you talk some sense into him will you? He’s demanded I drive him over here tomorrow to hound you about something or other, don’t know what, he’s being all cagey and secretive about it. The little asshole.’ Steve is pulling into the dirt road driveway where Eddie and Wayne’s new little house sits. Just big enough next to the check and paid medical bills to make that NDA look actually very tempting to sign, yes, thank you, here was it?

Steve parks and the rain beats down on the roof, Eddie shifts to look at Steve's still grumpy face, grinning. ‘You coming in? We can brainstorm, get the little butt head to stop meddling and start respecting his elders. Or you know, we could get high.’ Steve's face morphs into that little smile again, the one he tries to hide, like he's fighting to stay grumpy. Eddie wants to bite him.

Steve's face shifts again and what comes out of his mouth shifts Eddies very being into the fiery pits of despair. At least that’s what he would say if he was unhinged, which he is not. Not. One. Bit.

‘Can’t man, I have a date.’ Steve waggles his eyebrows a little and Eddie feels his grin dim. The remaining smile stiffens. His face like wax.

‘Oh. Well. I won't keep you then. Go get 'em tiger and all that jazz.’ Eddie knows it comes out weird, like he’s annoyed and upset. Which he is. But he knows he absolutely shouldn’t be. He just can't help it. Fuck!

Steve is looking at him, he looks all worried and confused. Of course he's confused, no reason for Eddie to act the way he is. Act like a freak. Eddie needs to get out of here. Save them both from the weird ass vibes his treacherous heart has caused.

Eddie twists for the door. ‘Hold on Eddie, wait with me till the rain stops yeah? I’ll keep the heater running.’ Steve reaches out, hand on his shoulder. Eddie looks at his hand gripping the door handle and wishes. Wishes he could turn around and make a joke, say thank fuck because he doesn’t want to look like a wet rat from the rain, ask steve about the girl, maybe make fun of him if it seems like the really likes her. Anything. Wishes he could just be normal. Normal about Steve Harrington.

But he can’t. Steve has a date and Eddie’s heart hurts.

‘I gotta go Stevie, enjoy your date.’ and Eddie steps out into the rain, jogging over to the front door, already sodden. He unlocks it and steps inside, doesn’t look back once. Leaning against the closed door he slides down into a crouch. He’s in love with him. Fuck.

Winter 1986

‘Stevie? What the fuck?’

Eddie was expecting a night alone. It was the day before Christmas eve and Wayne had gone out with some work buddies. Steve was having some fancy dinner with his parents, Robin’s with her Grandma and the party had plans to all meet and celebrate here tomorrow. So, Eddie was going to sit and stare at a wall. Said wall was going to magically help him work up the courage to maybe kiss Steve’s cheek under the mistletoe that Robin had threatened him with. She knew all about his hopeless, disgusting crush on Steve and seemed to be reaching the end of her patience for Eddie’s chicken shit confession skills.

The plan so far consisted of some amalgamation of making a big joke about it, throwing up before and after or maybe just staring at Steve until he gains the ability to read Eddie’s mind. In other words, the wall was giving him nothing apart from the urge to bang his head against it.

The worst part of it all though? The devastating, world shattering part? Is that Eddie’s grubby little brain was starting to think that he might actually have a chance. Because Steve has been.. a little different lately. And while Robin has confirmed that he has not made any of these memories up in some kind of horny Steve Harrington fueled haze, she has also not explicitly told him whether Steve would actually be interested in dating a guy. So Eddie continues to torture himself with memories.

Memories like when Steve got the new Wham! Record and started asking if he should try growing out his facial hair because ‘it looks really good right Ed’s? With the earring too? Think I could pull it off?’ and then blushing when Eddie said ‘He is a good looking dude… you do kinda look like George Michael, so, I guess?’ because Eddie is trying okay? Feeling the waters that are coming out to Steve. Him blushing seems like a good sign. Right? (Robin had rolled her eyes very hard at this story and Eddie had not appreciated the attitude.)

Or at movie night last week Steve purposefully squished in next to Eddie, making Jonathan move further down. Before like, stretching and putting his arm along the sofa behind Eddie. But halfway through his arm was more, around Eddie's shoulders? And Steve was maybe, maybe twirling a strand of Eddie's hair through his fingers…

There was also maybe the fact that Steve had started staying the night a lot more lately. He did a whole lot before too, but now it feels a little… different. He’s not just there because he’s a biblically accurate angel who helps Eddie change his bandages when Wayne has to work. Or because Eddie smoked him out too hard and he couldn’t drive home. Or even because he has to pick Robin up in the morning and her house is closer to Eddie’s now. No, now it almost feels like Steve stays the night in Eddie’s bed, with Eddie, because he wants to.

God, Eddie wants to barf on himself for even thinking that! But Steve just, doesn’t go home. Instead he shuffles in beside Eddie, in borrowed sweats and having used the toothbrush that’s Steve’s in the bathroom. Snuggles down into Eddie’s pillows and slings a leg over both of Eddies. He’ll look all sleepy and soft and mumble out ‘night Ed’s’, like it doesn’t make Eddie want to clamber on his roof and howl at the moon.

Eddie is busy replaying these moments in his mind like the most depressing, angsty, pining VHS tape. So, hearing the walkie Dustin had given him crackle from under his bed, well, it makes Eddie near jump out of his own skin.

‘Shit. Shit. Hello? Um, hello? Over.’ Eddie’s hands are shaking as he fumbles with the walkie. He’s barely used it since everything ended, much preferring the telephone like, you know, most people!

‘Hi, um, hey Eddie..’ Steve’s crackly voice could be heard through the little speaker. Eddie stands up, taking a calm down lap of his room, his heart still beating fast. ‘Stevie? What the fuck?’

‘Sorry, sorry, this is dumb, sorry. Sorry I’ll, I’ll just go.’ Eddie peeks through his bedroom curtain. Steve, illuminated by the dash light in the front seat of his car, is on the front drive and Eddie can see the walkie gripped tight in both hands. Steve rocking slightly.

‘Oh Stevie.. Come in sweetheart, why are you still outside?’ Eddie’s voice is putty soft because something is wrong. All his fears have been switched for concern as he descends the stairs to the front door. Ripping it open to find Steve with his hand raised ready to knock.

‘Hi’ Steve’s smile is sheepish but Eddie can see his eyes are rimmed red like he’s had the shittiest fucking night. And now he’s embarrassed? Fuck that!

‘Come in, come in come in. Sit down Stevie I’ll get you some tea.’ Eddie putters around the kitchen, making tea as efficiently as possible to not keep Steve waiting, but also wanting to give him time to settle.

He was expecting Steve to be sitting on the couch, but Eddie finds him by the big bay window that looks out over the small backyard and further fields. It’s a nice view and the space is already set up with some blankets and cushions: Eddie likes to read here. Fat snowflakes have begun to fall outside. Steve has a blanket draped over his shoulders, he’s facing the window but his eyes seem to focus on something a million miles away.

‘Here. Take this doll, it’ll keep you warm.’ Eddie hands over the steaming mug and Steve cradles it in his hands, giving Eddie a ghost of a smile.

‘Penny for your thoughts?’ bumping shoulders with Steve he waits. Looking at Steve's profile in the soft lamplight. There are ghosts in his eyes and a tension in his shoulders that breaks Eddie’s heart. His brave friend Steve.

‘I just.. Do you ever feel like you weren't made for the real world? Ugh this.. I dunno what I'm saying.’ Steve runs a hand over his face and looks embarrassed. Eddie wishes he could just get it, understand without words so he could help, but life doesn’t work like that. He waits, taking Steve’s hand in both of his. The corners of Steve’s mouth twitch and he looks at their joined fingers. Eddie watches as he takes a deep breath. Eddie thinks he’s beautiful.

‘Its, it's just. When we were there, in that. When all that happened to me. Obviously it was horrible. Terrible. But, for a little moment? I liked it. I liked having a role, a job to do. I knew the stakes and I knew that the only, only important thing was keeping everyone alive. There was nothing more important than that.’ Steve is looking out of the window again. His eyes are fiery and raw. Eddie so often forgets how much Steve has seen, has been through.

‘All my life I've been told what’s important and what to care about. Which ended up being a lot of not caring or only caring about really really unimportant stuff. And I just can't do that again. I can't be what my parents want. My fucking, my Dad man, it’s never enough, watever I do. He made that fucking clear tonight.’ He grimaces and Eddie hopes he never meets Harrington senior because he’s getting decked and Eddie thinks he’s finally on Hopper’s good side so maybe that’s not the best idea. Although, he thinks he can make a pretty good case for himself.

‘I don’t think I can be what anyone wants. Guess I just dunno who I really am. Never have never will… But for a second in that hell, I was somebody. Maybe somebody. And now it's out here again and everyone has all these dreams. And I'm so so happy for them because you all can do anything. Every one of those kids has such a bright future. But I dunno how to do it, Ed’s. I hate it. I dunno how to live as just Steve anymore.’ Steve’s eyes have filled with tears and the hand Eddie’s holding trembles slightly. Eddie lays a soft kiss on his palm.

‘Steve Harrington you are so good.’ Eddie steels himself to look directly in Steve's eyes, making sure he understands. ‘You are free. You are free and that means you can do anything you want. Anything. Doesn’t matter how long you take to figure yourself out, or work out what it is you need. There are no rules okay? None, and anyone who tells you differently is lying. Especially if it’s your cunt dad, okay?’ Steve's pretty pink lips part and his cheeks are rosy, he really looks like he's going to cry. He also looks like that brave boy who swung a bat at the devil. He’s miraculous.

‘The ‘real world’ doesn’t exist and most of the expectations people have are bullshit. I should know, I don’t think I’ve ever done one thing that was expected of me in my whole life, honey. Guess you’re just a freak like me.’ Eddie grins with all his teeth. Steve's mouth opens and closes a couple times, eyes wide. Before he’s looking down at his lap and smiling, a few tears spilling out and dropping onto his jeans. ‘Your role is to be you Steve. Nothing more, nothing less. People love you for you, not for what you did, even though it was fucking incredible. They’re alive because of you but they love you for being you.’ Eddie takes a deep breath and swallows the ‘I love you’ on his tongue, not tonight.. But soon, he’ll do it soon. Pinky promise.

Steve has let more tears fall and he’s looking at Eddie like he's special. ‘Okay?’ Eddie squeezes their hands and Steve nods. ‘Yeah, yeah I’m. It’ll be. I’ll be okay.’ But Steve’s face crumples up again with a small choked sob. He sets down the mug heavily on the floor and covers his eyes with his forearm, folding in on himself. Succumbing to it all for a moment. Letting himself cry.

‘Oh Steve. Tell me what you need, baby.’ Eddie holds their joined hands tighter and tries to suck up all of Steve's sadness through the skin of his palm. Steve sniffs all snotty and rubs at his eyes with his sleeve. Before, finally, looking at Eddie with his pretty brown eyes and his dumb hair and his moles. Eddie’s heart feels loud but Steve's tear stained face looks more calm than he’s seen for a long time. His brave, beautiful, miraculous friend Steve.

“Let's just stay here, watch the snow a little longer." Steve says it softly, the moment feels like glass. The two of them in a snowglobe, safe on a shelf. Together.

‘Of course Stevie. As long as you want. I’ll stay.’ Eddie means it, in his bones, he wants nothing more than to stay in this moment a little longer. Steve asks Eddie to stay and Eddie knows now that he never, ever wants to leave again.

—

Morning light filters through the blinds and Eddie shifts, consciousness swimming in that slow way only deep deep sleep can bring. He feels breath on his neck, the weight of an arm over his chest, a hand on his heart, socked feet tangled amongst his bare ones.

He had taken Steve’s hand last night, after they’d watched the snow leave a blanket over the view from the window. After Steve's tears had dried and his eyelids had begun to droop. He’d lead Steve upstairs and they laid down together, wrapped in eachothers arms. Steve had fallen asleep first and Eddie let himself have a secret selfish moment where he stared down at the boy in his arms. Thought about how much had changed, but how, actually, the Steve in his bed had always been the Steve he knew, he just wasn't ready to see it yet.

Eddie is looking at him now, there's sleep crusted in his eyes and drool on the pillow and Steve's hair is sticking up in an alarming number of angles. He’s so ugly and soft in the mornings. It makes Eddie feel good. Happy.

They laze in bed, waking up slow and taking their time before starting the day. Eddie is on his back staring at the ceiling and Steve is leaning up on one elbow so he’s looking down at Eddie. He's staring. Eddie is trying to be very cool and calm about it. Very cool. Very calm. That's right!

‘Oh shoot.’ Steve snaps his fingers ‘I um, forgot your present at home, kinda left in a rush. Sorry.’ He looks genuinely sorry. Eddie doesn’t really care, because just having Steve here is gift enough. Yup, that's how Eddie Munson feels. It’s gross, he knows.

‘Guess I’ll have to end it all then’ Eddie says with a casual shrug. Steve snorts and shoves him like he doesn’t find Eddie's dramatic’s hilarious.

‘I do have something I can give you now though. A gift of sorts.’ Steve taps a finger to his chin and looks so mischievous. The light from outside hits the back of his hair so it glows, like a halo. Eddie wants to kiss him so bad. Kiss the angel boy in his bed. Shit.

‘It better not be a wet willy. Toby Hamelton gave me one once in the fifth grade and I literally punched him in the face on reflex Steve it was so fucking gross.’ Eddie knows he’s rambling but it’s the only way he won’t kiss Steve right now. Right on his pretty pretty pretty face.

Steve smiles at him so softly, so sweetly, like Eddie isn’t being super weird right now. Smiles at Eddie and leans in, ghosts his mouth so so close over Eddie’s, looks into his eyes. Eddie’s breath hitches and he can’t move but he swears he feels his pupils dilate.

Steve must see it too, because he closes the gap. Eddie’s eyes slide shut and his hands and feet tingle, there are fireworks going off in his ears and his lips fizz and he’s overwhelmed in the best possible way.

He’s kissing Steve Harrington. Eddie Munson is kissing Steve Harrington. Steve Harrington is kissing Eddie Munson.

Eddie pulls out of the kiss with a tiny gasp ‘You didn’t suddenly gain the ability to read my mind did you?’ Steve looks so perplexed, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a little ‘o’, staring at Eddie’s mouth. He gives a small shake of his head. ‘Okay good, good yeah. Good.’

Eddie goes back in, lifting a hand to Steve’s jaw, holding him softly while he sucks on his bottom lip. Steve is good at kissing, Eddie thinks he could write a whole album about this kiss alone. Maybe he will. He feels like he can do anything! Maybe he’ll kill God later, after breakfast. Why not? Ha!

They break apart for breath and Steve's pupils are blown wide, Eddie wants to drown in them. He feels giddy, maybe a little hysterical. ‘You know, before you came over yesterday I was working up the courage to kiss your cheek under the mistletoe.. Which seems super lame and embarrassing now that I think about it. Forget I said anything actually. Yeah, uhm so... Anyway, thank you. For. For the gift.’ Steve is loosing romance points for every stupid word he lets Eddies say.

‘That is pretty lame dude’ Steve smiles sweetly and Eddie knows it's lame and Steve is probably joking but he doesn't need to to be told that right now. Nasty boy… Also.

‘Dude? You sully this rapturous moment, nay my very existence! By calling me dude?’ Is that normal? Do people do that after they kiss? Surely Steve doesn't call girls he kisses dude. Oh no, Eddie’s spiralling. This is a spiral.

‘Eddie’ Steve tries but Eddie’s brain is filled with static. Eyes boring holes in the ceiling, hands flailing.

‘Steve Harrington kisses Eddie Munson and calls him dude, well I never!’ The gaul! The gumption! The audacity!

‘Eddie!’ Steve places his hand on Eddie’s cheek, turning it so they're looking into eachothers eyes.

‘Yes?’ Steve is so pretty and his palm is so warm.

‘I really really like you Ed’s’ and Steve must be able to read Eddie's mind because those words are like a balm on his soul. He feels his cheeks dust pink, all the fears and embarrassment float. Steve likes him back.

Leaning back onto his elbow Steve looks back down at Eddie on his back. The same as before but so so different. ‘Happy Christmas Eddie’ Steve's smile is dopey and perfect and this is the best Christmas ever.

#LexsWinterFicChallenge #StrangerThingsFestiveFun #steddie #steve x eddie #steddie fluff #christmas steddie #my fic #goblin and stevie baby big time #this was so fun to write #hope u all enjoy #can't wait for the little gay people in my phone to finally read this #hope it has them screaming!#hotlunch #<3

374 notes · View notes