Tumgik
#this has fulfilled all my needs
maya-tl · 1 month
Note
Hm?... maybe something about Medic trying to find the right time to propose to Spy but ended finding Spy was also planning the perfect proposal moment. Cuz that might be a good fanfic?
(sorry to bother you, it's also my first time to ask someone with sheer confidence— )
They had talked of marriage before.
They had talked, oh yes, but they had been new and fragile then, a bloom waiting for either the right rains to make it blossom or the right drought to make it wither. The topic of marriage had been a simple conversation starter, something to keep them awake through the night when sleep didn’t matter.
Medic had been married before. An arranged thing, something his parents had agreed to in his stead—she had been too tame, too traditional for him, and he too wild, too sharp, too different, too much for her. It had been a bitter and miserable affair, a laughable attempt at normalcy, and in the end the only thing they had ever agreed on was that they weren’t for each other.
Spy’s story was a different one. He had loved her, certainly—the proof was right in front of their eyes, loud and brash with a side of Bostonian fire—but they had never been in love, and she had never asked him for more than he could give despite everything it would have meant for her.
“I would’ve stayed,” Spy had told him in the quiet of the night, looking more vulnerable than Medic had ever seen him, “I would’ve given it all up and settled, spent all my remaining days in that house with her if she only said the word. I would’ve been comfortable.”
Medic had simply turned to face him and whispered, “But would you have been happy?”
Spy had fallen silent. Looking at his tortured profile in the moonlight slipping through the window, Medic knew it was as close to a confession as he would ever get. They hadn’t spoken about marriage since, even as the months turned into years and they learned everything there was to know about each other, even after they swore their teammates to secrecy and stopped hiding themselves behind closed doors and false pretences.
Medic had looked at him one New Year’s celebration, just as the clock hit midnight and their team erupted into cheers in the background, had watched Pyro’s fireworks dance off his eyes and highlight the curve of his soft smile and decided that he was the one. He was his only choice, his forever after, his today and all of his tomorrows.
The engagement ring came a month and a half later—he’d had it custom-made, of course, and spent a fortune on the design and a little under a fortune on the jeweller’s silence. Spy had told him once that he wasn’t too fond of golden accessories and found that silver tones better complimented his complexion, and so Medic had kept that in mind and gone in the opposite direction of tradition. He’d chosen a split-band, beautifully carved platinum ring inlaid with white moissante and topped with a one-of-a-kind, trillion-cut blue diamond.
When he first held it up to the light it shone like a rainbow in the water, so brilliant it left him blinking spots from his vision. It was perfect. He set it within a thin, royal blue velvet ring box, also custom-made so he could easily conceal it, and then went about trying to do the actual proposal.
Trying being the key word. He didn’t debate much over the words he would say—a simple ‘marry me’ would be more than enough for Spy, who would appreciate the gesture far more than the words themselves—or even the place—ideally somewhere private enough that they were unlikely to be interrupted. No, that was all fine. It wasn’t even that he was nervous.
It was the timing.
He couldn’t do it on the battlefield. The tides of a battle could turn at any moment and there were too many things to focus on, such as crushing the enemy and not dying. Medic himself had to keep an eye on all his teammates and Spy had to keep an eye on all their assailants, and even if they somehow got a moment to themselves in the middle of the carnage the atmosphere simply wasn’t right.
He couldn’t do it during dinner. Besides not being private in the slightest, the team ate all of their meals together and one of them was bound to do something inappropriate the moment Medic pulled out the ring box and ruin the whole thing. Spy would immediately catch on if he made a big deal out of them dining alone too, so that option went out the window early on.
He couldn’t do it in public, much as he’d like to treat Spy to a fancy meal at a fine restaurant and a walk in the park at sunset. The world, sadly, just wasn’t ready for that.
He couldn’t do it in the bedroom. No one would interrupt them, sure, and it was as intimate as it got, but Medic was more than familiar with Spy’s complicated history of setting apart the pleasures of the body from the feelings of the heart. They’d gone down that road before, and the last thing Medic wanted to do was to blur that line again now.
The time of day mattered too. Medic didn’t want to do it in plain daylight or in the middle of the night, even if proposing under the stars was tempting. Spy struggled with insomnia, and preferred sunsets over sunrises besides, so an early morning proposal didn’t feel quite right.
It was maddening.
It also didn’t help that their schedules had begun to conflict lately. Medic knew the reason for his own odd behaviour, late nights spent agonising over the right moment disguised as research projects, and had initially assumed that Spy was going through one of his distance phases. Medic tended to be very hands-on in every aspect of his life, and while Spy welcomed and often even encouraged that, he’d made it very clear that sometimes he simply needed his space. So Medic hadn’t questioned it much, willing to wait it out for a few days—it gave him more time to think and plan.
By the time a week had rolled by, he began to suspect that something else was up. Spy wasn’t exactly avoiding him, they spent roughly the same amount of time together, but there were—quirks in his behaviour that hadn’t been there previously. Medic, who was well-versed in his moods, picked up on them easily, but it was significantly more difficult for him to figure out Spy’s train of thought than it was for Spy to figure out his, no matter how close they were. Only one of them had been trained in espionage all their life.
When he returned to his room from another late afternoon spent in the lab—actually researching this time, more to take his mind off things than to achieve any scientific breakthrough—and found Spy’s suit jacket folded over the desk chair, but no actual sign of Spy, he decided that he’d waited long enough. If the right moment never came, so be it. Neither of them were getting any younger, despite his best efforts and the effects of the respawn system.
He took off his gloves and his coat and hung them in their proper place in the closet, stuffed the ring box in the folds of the front pocket of his pants and set off. It was almost dinnertime and it was Engineer’s turn to cook, so most of his teammates would be swarming the kitchen, which gave him the opportunity to search the base at his leisure.
Spy wasn’t in his own bedroom or his smoking room, or in the firing range, and Medic knew he wouldn’t be hanging around in the living room when he could be fashionably late to dinner. That left only one place that Medic knew he frequented.
The sky was alive with the colours of sunset, soft pinks and warm oranges and fiery reds. A light breeze was cruising over the desert, making the few scattered trees growing near their base shiver and the tumbleweeds dance on the nearest horizon, and the tors and mesas burned like a mirage under the light of the lowering sun.
Spy was leaning against the railing of the balcony, his back turned to the door, and he didn’t acknowledge Medic beyond the miniscule tensing and then relaxing of his shoulders. His tie was loose and the top button of his undershirt undone, which Medic found out when he snaked his arms around his waist and leaned down to press his mouth to his skin.
“Something on your mind, mein schatz?” he murmured, and Spy hummed. He turned his head, allowing them to touch foreheads.
“Many things, lately,” Spy said, too casual to be genuine, “Have you had any success?”
“Success?”
“With your experiments,” Spy said, and Medic caught a knowing glint in his half-lidded eyes, “The reason you have been spending most nights in the laboratory, non?”
Medic huffed out a laugh. His heart felt full. “No,” he said, unable to stop himself from smiling, “Not quite.”
Pop, came a noise, and Spy looked down. Medic held up the box to the light, and the platinum ring glimmered giddily under the rays of sunset, casting shimmering reflections over its soft velvet cushion. The blue diamond shone like a miniature star set into the band—the same colour as Spy’s eyes.
Spy’s head snapped back up, and there was shock there as he searched Medic’s expression for any trace of deceit. Medic knew he wouldn’t find any even if he tried to make it up, as he sometimes did in his more paranoid moments—and indeed Spy seemed to realise this was not some overly complicated prank, because a sheen came over his eyes, and he seemed torn on whether to cry or laugh.
Medic gave his waist a reassuring squeeze. “Marry me,” he said, two words that for them meant a thousand things.
Spy choked out a little laugh and then shook his head as if in disbelief, and for a split moment Medic thought—
But then it was his turn to look on in shock as Spy reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box, revealing an exquisite rose gold ring set with swirling gemstones of a dark and rich red sitting prettily on a white silk cushion.
“There was a manufacturing issue, so it only arrived last week,” Spy said, voice choked up with emotion. Medic thought of how tired and stressed Spy had looked up until the previous week. “I was debating on a time and place, but I—I didn’t think—”
Medic surged forward and pulled him into a deep kiss, and their respective boxes dug into their ribcages as their bodies met in the middle.
“Hey guys, Engie says—what the fuck—”
They broke apart with a gasp, and Scout yelped as Spy shoved him back into the hallway and slammed the door in his face with enough force to make the building shudder. “I’m being proposed to!” he yelled indignantly, and Medic felt his cheeks begin to hurt from all the smiling he was doing.
Spy swivelled back around, ring box still in his hand, and pulled Medic in by the collar of his shirt. “Ask me again,” he whispered against his lips. Medic could do nothing but laugh, and he kissed him one more time just to feel him smile.
“Marry me,” he said.
“Yes,” came the answer, and the sky bled colour behind them as the sun sunk beneath the line of the horizon, signalling the end of today and the dawn of another, brighter tomorrow.
22 notes · View notes
deadliestgalaxy · 1 year
Text
SPOILERS FOR GOTG VOL. 3 - DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET!
I have a feeling that everyone (who calls themselves fans) that didn't get the meaning of the ending in GOTG Vol. 3 has never read a single comic of them or is only a fan of some characters/relationships. Many complaints I've seen are about the end and Gamora and Peter’s romance, which sounds kind of childish. You don't need to agree with me, but I’d like to elaborate on that.
James Gunn's writing is always about the detail of things and he is not afraid to do something “bad” if it is the best for the STORYTELLING. This is what most of these people don't get: the most important part of these movies is the story they are telling. The characters help the movie tell the story, it's their story after all — but there's no protagonist or greater good that puts them above the narrative.
(This is different from Gamora’s death in IW btw. It was not the only way they had to make the story flow; they just wanted to “humanize” Thanos and by that, they chose to kill her character. It was an action ADDED not CRUCIAL to the story.)
Vol. 3 is about found-family and growing up; finishing cycles. They will always be family, as we will always be part of their story (that’s why we understand Groot now). However, life chapters end just like in real books, and these Guardians as a TEAM “chapter” has ended for them and for us.
This is very common in the comics. Most times they are all separated, doing solo missions, until something goes wrong and they reunite again. They never stop being friends, why would it be different in the movie universe?
But the end suggests they are not family anymore.
Did we see the same film? No, it doesn't. We can see that in James’ subtle writing: the way they all still respect each other, their understanding of one another, and how they all would die for themselves if needed. That won't change just because they are not physically together — just like when you finish school you won't ignore your best friends, even if you create new relationships (which you will).
But Gamora is not part of the family anymore.
Well, if you see it this way, I can't change your mind. What I can say is that the story IMPLIES that she still is, in fact. And the number one clue is that she (in 2 days) understands Groot. Remember, we also understand him because the fans are now part of the Guardians family — so understanding him and being family are correlated.
Anyhow, I know this is not enough for most people, so hear me out: Gamora’s arc is about respect and healing. She starts the movie skeptical about working with the guardians — she just wants the money— when in reality, she acts like this because she is AFRAID and feels PRESSURED to be around her “old” family.
Imagine: you died but then another version of you comes back without knowing anything of your present life. People will expect you to act in a certain way that maybe you started to act after you met them; they will expect you to like certain things you don't know of; people will EXPECT you to attend to their needs. It is a lot to swallow at once. You are afraid because you don't know them, you don't think you deserve all this love and commitment out of nowhere. So you run away. You run away to find things on your own, to grow out of this pressure you feel and discover the whole universe of possibilities you have ahead.
That's what Gamora did. But then, the mission went south and now she is stuck with her “old” team. The film shows us her character exploring the ship, listening to music... trying to understand them. At one point she even says to Rocket “You must be a very loyal pet for them to do all this for you” (or something similar). This is her way of putting into words how she visualizes the current scenario she was put in. Slowly she recognizes that they are a family, and by the way they act she finally gets how and why she also must have loved them in the past.
She goes from “I don't give a fuck”, not open to them, afraid and pressured to “I bet we were fun”, understanding and respecting them, even fighting for their family to survive.
(If she still didn't give a fuck she wouldn't have fought for them and with them when she could have just run away again.)
But she has already created new relations, so she goes back to those for now. It is what she is familiar with in this timeline. Does that mean she will never contact the guardians ever again? NO. Remember: James’s writing is about DETAILS, nuance. She is open to them again, and the final part of the movie shows this to us, especially her last interaction with Groot, Peter, and Nebula being friendly.
Oh, but Peter and Gamora will never be a couple again, their romance ended when she went back to the Ravengers.
… Again, if you see it this way I can’t change your mind. What I can confirm is that she doesn’t close herself to the team — especially to Peter — in the end.
When she says “I bet we were fun” it's the first time she acknowledges their former relationship without distancing herself from it. She could've said “I bet you were fun” or “I bet she was fun”, but instead she prefers to include herself with “we”. She pauses before letting go of Nowhere, stopping before entering her ship — what moves her forward is Nebula, who can see her sister’s changed attitude but still encourages her to take a step forward and go explore the galaxy, because she knows Gamora is not mature and ready yet for those feelings; just like she wasn't ready to be openly sentimental when Gamora joined the Guardians back in 2014.
And Peter is also not ready. Just like Gamora needs to find herself again and discover who she is, Peter needs too. He is lost without her after IW, we can see it during Holiday Special and in the beginning of Vol. 3 when he passes out because of alcohol abuse. Both don't know who they are in this new reality — and they will only find out with time. Time heals and reveals.
In the end, Peter doesn't have the same thought as in the begging: he doesn't want her to be who he once knew, he wants her as she is, this new version whom he still loves so much and wants to know more of. Although he wishes she could stay, he knows that she has her own time and while she learns about herself he will go do the same.
So yes, they’re not explicitly together as a couple in the final scene — neither they kiss nor make out, whatever you believe a relationship is made of — but they’ve changed and are open to one another. The last scene does not appear to me as an “I’ll never see you again”, but as a “Goodbye, see you soon”.
(Aside from all the small bits we had through the movie of a developing relationship between them; my favorite one being when Peter activates the auto-destruction code and Gamora smiles at him.)
Besides, you can't force anyone to fall in love in 48 hours!!
Yes, I also have some minor complaints about the story, but I can recognize that — with all the turbulence the characters and the production faced in the last few years — it was a satisfying end with a limited amount of time to a badass trilogy. The end is definitive but also open to future possibilities for all our favorite characters in their universe — some we might never see and it will only be to our imagination.
Again, you don't need to agree with me, but I had to do this, or else I would implode with thoughts. Thank you if read up here! My ask box is open if you want to talk more <3
1K notes · View notes
hightro · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
107 notes · View notes
super-paper · 30 days
Text
Tumblr media
afotaro is the elephant's foot of toxic old man yaoi but that's not gonna stop me from memeing on it, y'know, as a coping mechanism.
53 notes · View notes
fisheito · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
still on my princess nonsense 🤔 ex-royal rei who knows every formal dance 🤔🤔 apathetically leading country bumpkin yakumo 🤔🤔🤔, who is so 1000% fixated on his own feet bc he takes this very seriously and doesn't wish to disappoint earringtwinsenpai who so graciously took the time to teach hijm 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
66 notes · View notes
cloudbends · 23 days
Text
for college reasons, if anyone has any ideas/recommendations for art or media that have to do with themes of communication, technology, human consciousness/subconsciousness, connectivity and network culture, fracturing of the self and society etc. that is NOT serial experiments lain. please please PLEASE send it my way. Can be of any medium.
35 notes · View notes
adelrambles · 1 year
Text
On a small note, Bishop's designs do something interesting in 03 that I don't think I've seen anyone mention? But his outfits between the main series and Fast Forward utilize a light/dark motif that highlights how his character has changed.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
His main design is black with hints of white underneath. An evil person with good motivations underneath it all. His Fast Forward design is a white dress covering black clothes underneath. A seemingly good person covering up an evil history. I just think it's neat.
Also check out the 1870s fit
Tumblr media
183 notes · View notes
naamahdarling · 2 months
Text
.
21 notes · View notes
lapinneok · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i've watched "the sea beast". i am asking you all to go and watch it too
405 notes · View notes
swiftcast-selene · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Day 29: Favorite Glamour
from practical, to... less so, an adventurer's got to have a rather large wardrobe to suit all occasions.
16 notes · View notes
softquietsteadylove · 5 months
Note
Baby olympia stole my hearth, their little family is soo cute 🥹, if it's okay with you love, could you do one where Thena is doing something with baby olympia like feeding her or dressing her (in a super cute outfit 'cause thena is a fashion icon) and Gil is watching them, falling more in love with his girls, feeling grateful that he came back to Thena and that their little her was born. Just Gil being soft for his girls. 🩷
Gil keeps an eye on them - his girls - in the corner of the room.
Thena calls it 'feeding', which it is in some ways. She sits in the rocking chair Phastos constructed for them, and she holds Olympia, and both of them enter a dreamlike state as Cosmic Energy slowly leaves Thena and is absorbed by their little supernova.
Their little miracle--Gil still can't believe it.
He can't even believe that he's alive, for starters. His last memory is of him on his back on the amazon forest floor, looking up at Thena (much to her dismay). But he remembers she was smiling until the moment he closed his eyes.
Next thing he knows, he's alive again, Sersi has saved the world, there's a Celestial sticking out of the ocean and he and Thena have catching up to do. And then Thena is pregnant.
No one saw it coming, of course. No one could have. They all thought of Ajak often during the process of it all, but they were on their own for it. Thank all the stars in the sky for Sersi, and Phastos. All their siblings, of course.
Druig and Sprite are most wary of the baby, no matter how they love her. Sprite excels at entertaining young Olympia, if nothing else. She does seem amused by Druig, as if his constantly reading her young mind has established a somewhat two-way connection.
Kingo says he doesn't like that, because he should be her favourite. He and Phastos argue on that often. But, although Makkari bouncing and jogging her (gently!) around the Domo is fun for them both, Sersi is of course Thena's chosen second mother for their child.
And there could be no better, he agrees. Sersi has always been the most human, and the most connected to the ways of the heart. She's sweet, and warm, and has an awareness of the soul that none of the rest of them possess.
Gil admits this freely; he has only one soul to which his is linked.
It's strange to think that his wife has now lived part of her life without him, and yet to him he has spent not even a day without her. But he can see how she's worn out by what she's endured. He wishes he could take it on for her; it's not fair.
Gil walks into their shared room. It's still just his personal quarters in the Domo--far from luxurious. Phastos did do them the kindness of engineering an expansion, just into the next room, but the extra space was still appreciated.
There is also a small crib for Olympia, mere steps away from the bed.
He chuckles, looking at the little mobile above it. It's a simple thing, but Thena did whittle and paint it herself. There are dinosaurs and pegasi and also regular birds. A whole history's worth of creatures.
They all guessed he would be the one who would be unable to bear being away from Olympia. And they are right, but it's Thena who has the most acute anxiety about it.
Only by his and Sersi's convincing did she allow them to install the crib at all. If it were up to Thena, she would be holding their child in her arms until the day she was Sprite's height.
Gil kneels down in front of his beautiful girls. Olympia is sleeping soundly, absorbing little dewdrops of Cosmic Energy from her mother like a meadow receives the rain. Sersi reasons that human children often need extra vitamins and nutrients besides in just their food; perhaps this is the same.
He brushes his fingers over his daughter's tiny head; she really does look like a tiny Thena, although he thinks her hair is getting a little darker just at the roots. He kisses her little forehead. She scrunches her face. "I'm sorry, my little sunburst."
"You're here."
He smiles up at his wife, her enchanting green eyes affixed to him. She looks even more stunning since bringing Olympia into the world. "I'm here."
It's become a kind of greeting for them. Thena will voice those words as if one day he won't affirm them. But he has no right to worry about that when it's very possible that she has experienced that in some form or another.
He leans up, capturing her lips against his tenderly.
Thena sighs as they part, her head tilting lazily as she relaxes that last little bit. Her eyes shine at him, "she's strong."
The connection between Warrior Eternal and her progeny is one that brings tears to his eyes. He moves the back of his knuckle against his daughter's cheek, "I know. Look who her mother is."
Thena lets him kiss her cheek with reverence. "To say nothing of her father. Two of the galaxy's deadliest--she will be a force to be reckoned with."
"She," Gilgamesh pats the soft of his palm against Olympia's head, "will never have to know battle, so long as we live."
"Yes," Thena sighs, letting herself believe his reassurance. She inhales, adjusting her arms, "here."
It's a simple thing, but it moves him that she trusts him so completely with their daughter. Of course she does, he is her father. But he knows Thena--knows the way she twitches and flinches and watches. She is made to be vigilant, after all, and even with their own family, she is always keenly aware of their daughter's whereabouts.
But with him, she hands her over. Thena has no question about his ability to prioritise and protect their child.
He makes room as she stands from the chair. She wobbles faintly and he moves so she can lean into his side. "Easy."
He isn't entirely sure what takes place during the 'feedings'. Because he also makes her regular old milk and feeds that to her. But Phastos and Druig alike cannot fathom what takes place between mother and child and their connection of energy.
Thena nuzzles her face into his shoulder.
"You're tired," he chuckles, holding their daughter in one arm and his wife in the other. "Nap with me."
Thena mumbles faintly. And while he doesn't hear it, he knows it's because she wants them to have Olympia in the bed in between them, instead of in the crib.
"We talked about this," he reminds her as he oh-so gently lays Olympia down on the little cot within the high walls. "You trust Sersi."
"Of course I trust Sersi," she grumbles, as if she is not grinding her teeth in her head to distract from her separation anxiety.
"She needs to learn to sleep on her own," he says gently, pulling Thena with him to the bed. "You can't hold her forever, sweetheart."
"We live forever."
He chuckles, careful not to be too loud with his little sunflower in the room. But he tucks some of Thena's hair away from her face and kisses the corner of her amazing lips. "As will she. And that's a long time for her to sleep in her own bedroom."
He can practically hear his wife's feelings about their infant daughter sleeping in a completely separate room. He presses his nose to the sculpted hollow of her cheek. "I will want you all to myself again someday, you know."
That makes her smile. She laughs faintly as he kisses her cheek and pulls them to lie down together. She settles into his chest, his arms wrapped around her, their daughter's tiny breaths reaching their inhuman ears. "You have your priorities I see."
"I do," he answers honestly, rubbing Thena's back and burying his nose in the hair at the top of her head. "It's my two girls, always. My new little star and the sun of my galaxy."
"Hm," Thena allows him to relish the contact with her. "I shall pretend that's sweet, instead of you being eager to bed me again."
"I can be a sweet and loving father, and also your husband, y'know."
17 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 2 days
Text
📓🐰🖊️💭
11 notes · View notes
vse-kar-vem · 3 months
Text
weekly breakdown post 😁 none of you hate me right !
#feeling a bit down ☹️ idk i just feel like#am i not social enough am i just annoying ☹️ i dont post a lot so idk what people follow me for but if i post too much am i being annoying ?#oueagh#vee rambles#like i know everyone has their own niches whatever but i don't know how you just establish connections with people so easily 💔💔#am i brushjng people off without knowing ???? am i just prickly??????#also as a conversationalist i know i dont have much to offer ☹️☹️ im not very funny or capable of very clever adult insights#so really im just kinda there 😞 and like i HAVE real life friends i HAVE a social circle theres no need to base my fulfilment socially on#online interactions 😭#idk maybe its because its harder or its something i feel i cant get that makes it such like a thing that bothers me#like 7 times out of 10 if im sadposting because of that#and its really embarrassing to say that the reason all these like moments of insecurity happen is because my mutuals. have friends#NOTHING AGAINST ANYONE OBVS THIS IS 100% A ME PROBLEM AND NOT EVERY INTERACTION SENDS ME INTO A TAILSPIN ITS JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS#i thjnk it says something about me idk i dont like to think of myself as very jealous but i am i just dont like dwelling on it#trying to figure out if what makes me upset is other people not liking me or my own personal inadequacies#anyways if anyones reading this pretend they didnt i will be over this tomorrow i just#ugh 🥹🥹🥹#i wish i could wake up funnier#or smarter#maybe better at art#🙏 god bless#IVE FIGURED IT OUT#being in such a tight knit fandom reminds me of being in 8th grade again 🥹 not to tragic backstory everyone but like i had no friends#i think it kind of dredges up that kinda loneliness and insecurity in me#wow i should be a psychologist#anyways i still love fandom im not gonna stop it just. sigh. gets to me sometimes
10 notes · View notes
databent · 2 months
Text
why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on
#.pdf#rd#kd#just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts.#sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday.#namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder).#and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition.#*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything.#it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have.#nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you?#i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else.#and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute.#because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't-#-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether.#this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled-#-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel-#-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that.#anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability.#albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of-#-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh.#sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low.#which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless.#i just lucked out i guess.#n24 tag
8 notes · View notes
seariii · 3 months
Text
I was stressed but now i'm more chill and really sleepy...
#overall my mood has been better but i am so incredibly terrified of the future... its like....#like i feel as if someone has holding me at gun point and got told thst if i did any mistakes they would shoot#but then im not given clear instructions on what i need to do and i have to figure it out myself#i am really scared... even tho all of this gave me a new objective... i dont wanna be obsolete...#... so... that what we will work on... also... i wanna work towards my dreams...#I've been putting it off for so long i want to do it#people support me and actually enjoy my voice... i want to...#the things on my plate right now are things i can achieve... but i want more... i want things i actually want...#i want...#my house has a constant buzzing sound. i believe its because of the small power plant behind the lot. which makes it difficult for recording#since i have to get rid of that and that messes with the rest of the audio#its comforting to know it wasnt the mic tho... heh...#tomorrow lets try to take the first few steps... well more like lets try to continue with the set up#we have already a couple stuff but we still have a lot missing...#... today the girls said some stuff that impressed me... thats how im perceived?... is that what people think of me?#i kinda want to... fulfill those 'expectations'... they dont expect anything but its more of a me thing... ive been dreaming and hoping for#so long but i dont take the next step. i never do... and its because of the executive dysfunction... but... once i get the hang of it...#once i do... everything will be excellent... and we will take it easy#i am so tired already... i feel im gonan falla sleep#seari talks
7 notes · View notes
Text
Worst take I heard today was that "Sex is like sleeping. If you don't get sleep, you're going to have issues."
Ok but it's literally not though. Like it's literally not like sleeping? Like it's objectively not...?
37 notes · View notes