#this doesn't have to be an Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fatecantstopme · 1 year

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If I Had to Choose...I'd Choose You

Pairing: Elliot Stabler x Reader

Summary: You meet Stabler when you join the SVU team. He's single, attractive, sweet...only problem is you work together, and you don't date at work.

Warnings: Mentions of rape, descriptions of violence and torture. Reader has scars described in detail. SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).

A/N: Kathy doesn't exist in this fic.

"Hey everyone, gather 'round," Cragen called.

Detectives Stabler, Benson, Munch, and Tutuola circled around the Captain.

Cragen gestured to the new girl beside him: you. "Guys, this is Detective (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She's joining the squad."

You smiled at them. "I'm happy to be here and can't wait to get started."

Everyone introduced themselves and Cragen pointed to your new desk behind directly behind Detective Stabler. You threw your stuff down onto the desk and started to settle in.

Elliot Stabler sat on the edge of the desk and leaned in towards you. "So what brings you to SVU?"

"I wanted to make a difference. Homicide was starting to grate on me."

"Couldn't make a difference there?" he asked in surprise.

You shook your head. "Not the way I wanted to." You sighed. "It's a long story, but suffice it to say I'm happy to be here."

Elliot smiled. "We're happy to have you."

You returned his smile. "Thanks."

**********

Within 6 months you'd become an integral part of the team. Your experience working in Homicide and as a victim advocate made you an extremely valuable asset.

You'd also gotten to know the other members of your squad very well, especially Elliot. You couldn't help it, the two of you were drawn together.

Elliot flirted with you constantly and you flirted back, despite your better judgment. He'd asked you out a couple times, but you'd always said no. He never pushed you, but he didn't stop trying either.

You had one rule in the workplace...never get involved with a coworker. You'd made that mistake when you first got on the job and it very nearly ruined your life. You wouldn't do it again, even for a man as clearly incredible as Elliot Stabler. Plus, the events that led you to leave Homicide were still fresh in your mind and you weren't ready to open up about any of it.

"(Y/L/N)! We're hitting the bar, wanna come get a drink?" The man in question called to you.

You looked up from your paperwork, catching his deep blue gaze as he eyed you. "I don't know, El, I've got a lot of paperwork to get done."

He groaned. "We've all got a lot of paperwork to get done. It'll still be here in the morning."

He could tell you were unsure, so he turned up the puppy dog eyes as he begged, "C'mon, just one drink."

You sighed. "Fine, fine." You tossed your file to the side and grabbed your coat. "Let's go, kids."

Two hours and four drinks later, you and Elliot were still at the bar. Olivia and Munch had bowed out a half hour earlier and Fin was just paying his tab.

"I'll see you two in the morning. Don't stay up too late," Fin said with a teasing tone before leaving the bar.

"Just us," Elliot said with a grin.

"Didn't you say something about 'just one drink'?"

He grinned wider. "I didn't tell you to have three more."

You groaned. " I wish I could blame you. It'd be easier."

"So, you liking SVU so far?" Elliot asked, changing the subject.

You nodded. "It's rewarding work, as difficult as it is. Plus, I've got some pretty great coworkers."

"Damn straight. Couldn't get any better." He cleared his throat. "I, uhh--I'm really glad you came onboard."

You smiled. "Me too."

Elliot leaned closer and placed his hand on your arm. "I mean it, (Y/N/N)," he said softly.

You leaned into him, the liquor you'd imbibed lowering your inhibitions. "I know, El. So do I."

He slipped his arm around you and pulled you against his chest, his lips against your ear. "Go out with me, (Y/N)," he whispered.

Every fiber of your being was screaming for you to say yes, but there was a tiny voice in your head that reminded you of your rule...and what had happened to you a mere eight months prior. You pulled away from him and turned your body to face his. "El...I want to. I really do."

His face fell. "But?"

"But I can't."

"Why?" he whispered.

You sighed. You'd never given him a good reason...never really explained yourself. He deserved some sort of explanation, even if it wasn't quite accurate. "I don't date at work. I...well, I dated someone when I first joined the force. He was a detective." You paused. "It didn't end well--especially for me. He spread rumors and nearly ruined my reputation. I had to go to a different precinct." It was the truth, sure, but it wasn't the whole truth.

"I would never do that to you."

You offered him a small smile. "I don't think you would. You're a good man--I know you are...but, I can't risk it, Elliot. I just can't." I'm not ready.

He looked sad, but he nodded. "I understand," he said softly. "I can't say I like it, but I get it. However, I have no intention of giving up. You're amazing and I'm not walking away, not yet anyway."

You chuckled lightly and shook your head. "You're persistent, I'll give you that."

"Maybe someday you'll say yes."

"Perhaps," you consented.

He seemed content with your answer, and he waved over the bartender. "I'll cover her tab too."

"No, Elliot, you don't--"

"I've got it, doll. Please."

You sighed and let him pay for your drinks.

"Let me walk you home," he insisted.

"I can make it. It's only a couple blocks."

Elliot just stared at you like you were crazy. It was nighttime in Manhattan after all.

You laughed. "Alright, alright. Walk me home, Detective Stabler."

He smiled and held his arm out to you. "My lady?"

You slipped your arm through his and let him guide you to the door and out onto the sidewalk. You felt safe with him, safer than you'd ever felt with anyone else.

The walk to your apartment was quick and peaceful. Elliot chattered about nothing and you just listened to him, a small smile gracing your face.

He walked you all the way to the door of your apartment, just to make sure you got home safely. It warmed your heart. He kissed your cheek before wishing you a goodnight.

You closed the door behind him and leaned your back against the door. The thought that crossed your mind was enough to terrify you; "Dear God, I think I love him," you whispered aloud.

**********

It had been a year since you'd first joined SVU. Elliot had never given up asking you out, but it had been a couple months since he'd last asked. He still spoke to you in the same manner he'd always used: flirtatious, sweet, and funny as hell.

That thought you'd had six months ago was always lingering in the back of your mind and you knew without a shadow of a doubt it was 100% true. It scared the hell out of you and you didn't know how to handle it.

"(Y/L/N)! We've got a live one," Elliot called from across the squad room, interrupting your conversation with Munch. You looked up in Elliot's direction when he called to you.

"Let's go," he said again.

"Where's Olivia?" you asked.

"She's at an appointment. Cragen suggested I grab you."

You walked over to him. "Okay, what do we got?"

"Violent stranger rape in her own home. She's on the way to the hospital now."

"Shit. Let's go."

Three days later and you felt like you were spinning your wheels. Every single lead you'd had hadn't panned out. You had nothing to go on and you were starting to worry the case would go cold.

"We've gotta be missing something," Elliot said, voicing your thoughts aloud.

You ran your fingers through your hair. "We've been over the evidence a thousand times."

"That doesn't mean there's nothing there," he insisted.

"Maybe we just need some rest," Fin suggested.

"No!" you and Elliot yelled at the same time.

Fin threw his hands up and backed away from the two of you. You and Elliot had been there to see the after effects of the brutal crime...you'd been the one to take the victim's statement. No one understand the true horror of this crime like the two of you. You were both determined to find the man who did this before he struck again.

Just then, your desk phone rang. You grabbed it, answering it with a gruff "(Y/L/N)". Your face paled as you listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. "What?"

Elliot, Fin, Olivia, and Munch turned to look at you at the sound of shock in your voice.

"We're on our way." You hung up and stared at the phone for a moment before addressing the rest of the team. "He came back."

"Who came back where?" Olivia asked.

Your eyes locked onto Elliot's and his widened in surprised understanding. "The perp."

You nodded. "He's holding the victim hostage in the hospital basement."

"How the hell does that even happen?" Munch asked.

"Don't know, but let's go," you replied.

When you arrived at the hospital, you were met with the responding officers. They escorted you down to the basement where the rapist was holding your victim.

You left the officers at one entrance, and Munch and Fin were covering the other entrance to the basement to ensure he couldn't escape, leaving you, Elliot, and Olivia to make your way farther into the hostage situation.

You heard a woman's soft whimpering and you moved closer to the sound. "Colleen? Can you hear me? It's Detective (Y/L/N)," you called out.

"Don't come closer or I'll shoot her!" a man's voice yelled in response.

The three of you stopped walking. "Alright. What's your name?" you called back.

"Mac," he answered hesitantly.

You looked over at Elliot. There was no "Mac" on your suspect list.

"Okay, Mac. My name is (Y/N). Can I come closer so we can talk?"

"Are you alone?" he yelled.

"No. My partner is here with me." You subtly left Olivia out, hoping you could catch him off guard with a third person.

"Just you," he said.

You started to move closer to the sound of his voice, but Elliot grabbed your arm. His eyes pleaded with you to stay where you were, but you simply shook your head and shrugged him off. You weren't going to stand idly by while a woman was murdered.

You made it to the large doorway of the room and saw the victim, Colleen, standing directly in front of a man with a gun.

"Stop right there," he said.

Your own gun was pointing right at him, but you stopped in your tracks. "Alright. Just take it easy."

"You're pointing a gun at me. How can I 'take it easy'?"

"You're pointing a gun at her, so I suppose I could say the same to you," you pointed out.

He cocked the gun and pressed it directly against Colleen's skull. "Put yours down or I'll pull the trigger."

Your breath caught in your chest as you realized you had a decision to make. You could try to shoot him, but you had a very narrow window of space...and you might either miss him or shoot the victim. You decided you couldn't take that chance, so you began to lower your gun towards the ground.

"(Y/N), no!" you heard Elliot hiss from somewhere behind you.

You'd already made your decision, so you ignored his voice, and placed your gun on the ground before straightening back up. "You said your name was Mac?"

He nodded.

"Do you mind if I come a little closer, Mac? Just so we can talk more easily."

"You can take three steps towards me."

You moved in his direction, careful to stay within sight of the doorway. "You okay, Colleen?" you asked softly.

Colleen was shaking, terror plainly evident on her face. She started to respond, but Mac tightened his grip on her.

"Don't speak to her," he yelled. "You talk to me. Not her."

You held up your hands. "Okay, okay. What's your plan here, Mac?"

"I never wanted it to come to this. If she would have just left with me, none of this would have happened."

"You wanted Colleen to leave with you?"

"Yes. We could go anywhere," he said wistfully.

A clearer picture of the man standing before you began to emerge. "You care about her, don't you Mac?"

"Care about her?" he asked, almost looking hurt. "I love her. She's my soulmate."

Colleen whimpered as he spoke, tears pouring down her cheeks anew.

"She denied you," you stated.

"She refused to go with me. So I did what I had to do."

You swallowed thickly. "Mac...did you intend to hurt her?"

He looked at you angrily. "I wouldn't have had to if she wouldn't have fought me."

You did your best not to wince at his words. "If you love her, why would you hurt her now?"

"I don't want to. I just want to leave."

"Okay," you said gently. "Let her go and you can leave."

"No!" he yelled, his grip tightening on the gun and Colleen. "She comes with me or she dies."

"You don't really wanna hurt her, Mac. You love her. Maybe she just needs time to realize she loves you too." The words felt wrong coming out of your mouth, but you needed to say whatever you could to save Colleen.

"I know the truth now. She'll never love me." His finger slid to the trigger.

"Mac! Wait! Wait...if you pull that trigger you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

He looked over at you with a mixture of intrigue and surprise on his face. "Go on."

"You'll hate yourself for being the reason the person you love most in the world is gone. You'll never recover from it...the guilt will slowly eat you up inside until one day you decide to end it all just so you can join her."

He watched you carefully, as if he was studying you. "Are you speaking from experience, Detective?"

You hadn't been, but he didn't need to know that. "Yes. And I can promise you, you don't want to end up like me."

To your surprise, he tossed Colleen to the side like she was nothing more than a piece of garbage in his way and he took a menacing step towards you.

In that instant, you realized he'd been playing you the entire time, but it was much too late.

He smiled at you, a terrifying, wolfish expression that made your blood run cold. You turned to run, but he was faster than you. His arms wrapped around your waist and he yanked you back against his chest. You struggled with everything you had, only stopping when you felt the cold metal of the gun press against your head.

"Hello, Detective. It's such a pleasure to see you again," he whispered in your ear.

His voice had changed...deepened slightly, and an accent that had not been there before made itself apparent. The moment you heard him speak, you felt as if the world was crumbling around you.

"You," you whispered in shock and terror.

"(Y/N)!" Elliot yelled as he rushed in, mere seconds after he'd heard your struggle. His gun was pointed in your direction, a look of pure horror on his face as he took in the scene in front of him.

To your surprise, Olivia did not appear behind him, which meant there was a possibility you would get out of this alive. If she could find a way to circle around and come up from behind him...

"The famous Detective Stabler," Mac said, his voice heavily accented. "It's a pleasure to finally get to meet you."

Elliot looked confused. "How do you know who I am?"

"I've followed my lovely (Y/N)'s career quite closely," he said, caressing the side of your face with his free hand. You shied away from him, but there was no where for you to escape to.

Elliot's look of confusion deepened. For the first time, you found yourself wishing you'd been completely open and honest with him. If you'd told him about your past, maybe none of this would be happening.

"You know (Y/N)?" he asked.

"Oh yes, very very well. Some might even say I know her intimately."

You flinched at his choice of words, your body recoiling in place. Your reaction was not lost on Elliot, a look of realization crossing his features.

"Tell him, (Y/N). Tell him about us," Mac whispered in your ear.

Your eyes filled with unshed tears, but you didn't say a word.

Mac chuckled sinisterly. "Tell him how I touched your pretty little body. How I made you feel things no man ever could. Tell him how much you liked it."

The way he emphasized the word 'liked' almost made you hurl, but it also lit a fire inside of you that reminded you to fight. "How about I tell him how you broke into my apartment? How you tied me to my bed and raped me for hours? How you branded me as your property? How you made me want to die?" Your voice had risen to a yell and you were breathless when you finished speaking.

Elliot drew in a shaky breath, his anger threatening to boil over. He cocked his gun and took a step closer.

"Uh-uh, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Mac said, pressing the gun against your skull so hard it was certain to leave a mark.

"How'd you know raping Colleen would get you to me?" you asked.

Mac laughed. "I didn't. She's the sixth woman I've raped in Manhattan since you went to Special Victims. I've been hoping you'd catch the case so we could see each other again. This is the first one that managed to make its way to your desk."

You closed your eyes, your breath catching in your chest at his words. "Why?" you whispered.

"Because you're the one who got away."

"You left me tied to my bed. I didn't 'get away'."

"I didn't mean literally," he said dismissively. "After I had you, no one else compared, no matter how hard I tried."

"So, what? You decided to rape a bunch of women in the hopes that she'd notice you?" Elliot sneered angrily.

"She did notice me," Mac said with a smile. "Even if she didn't realize it."

"What's your plan now, Mac?" Elliot asked.

"(Y/N) and I are going to leave and you're going to let us. I know you won't risk her life--I've seen the way you look at her. You're lucky I don't kill you for it."

"And if I don't wanna go?" you whispered.

His lips brushed against your ear as he spoke. "Then I'll kill him and force you to come with me."

"Not today, sweet cheeks," Olivia said from behind you. Her gun was pressed against the back of Mac's head, causing his body to grow stiff with tension. "Now, why don't you be a good boy and let her go?"

After a few tense moments, Mac's hold on you loosened and he let you out of his grip. You immediately pulled away from him and moved in Elliot's direction.

"(Y/N), no!" Elliot yelled at you. You heard two weapons fire almost simultaneously and you dropped to your knees.

Elliot was in front of you in seconds. "Are you okay? (Y/N/N)?"

His eyes searched your face, the fear in them nearly breaking you down. You collapsed into his arms and he pulled you as closely as he could. "You're okay. You're safe," he whispered. "I've got you."

You turned your head just enough to look behind you towards where Mac had been standing. His body was on the floor, blood seeping from his wounds. You knew he was dead without having to go check for a pulse.

Olivia had called for the rest of the team and for a gurney for Colleen. You turned to look at the other woman. She seemed to be okay physically, but the mental and emotional trauma she'd just endured would likely be with her for the rest of her life.

Munch and Fin made it to you before the other officers did.

"What the hell happened?" Fin asked as he took in the scene.

Elliot looked up at him from his place on the floor. "Perp tried to kill (Y/N). Olivia and I both shot him."

The other detectives knew there was more to the story, but this wasn't the time to ask about it. For now, their focus was on getting everyone the hell out of the basement.

Elliot insisted you be seen by a doctor before you left, despite your many arguments. He stayed by your side until the doctor had looked you over and given you a clean bill of health.

You made Elliot take you to see Colleen before you went home. You wanted to make sure she was okay. She thanked you for saving her life and she squeezed your hand in that knowing way that other survivors always did.

You wanted to go back to work, but Elliot insisted you go home. You started to argue, but Cragen ordered you to take the rest of the day off at a minimum and he told Elliot to take you home.

The drive to your apartment was silent--neither one of you knew what to say. The events of the day had unfolded in a completely unforeseen manner and you knew it would have lasting effects on you both.

When you reached your apartment, Elliot parked the car and walked you to your door. You thanked him for taking you home, then lapsed into an awkward silence. Neither of you seemed to know what to say...or maybe you were too scared to say it.

"I thought I was going to lose you," Elliot whispered, breaking the silence.

Your breath caught in your chest and you found yourself unable to respond.

"When I saw him holding that gun to your head..." he trailed off. "And then when he let you go? I watched him turn the gun in your direction and--" he cleared his throat. "All I could think was that I was going to watch you die."

"You saved me," you whispered.

His eyes met yours. "Olivia's the one that shot him in the head."

"Before that."

He cocked his head slightly and his brow furrowed in confusion.

"You gave me the strength I needed to fight...and that saved me long before you put a bullet in him."

He wanted to reach out and touch you, but he was worried it would be unwelcome. "I'm sorry for what he did to you," he said gently.

Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment. "It's not your fault, but I appreciate it."

"Can I ask--why didn't you tell me?"

You could hear the hurt in his voice and it nearly broke your heart. "It was a time in my life I'd rather forget. I've never told anyone outside of the detectives that worked the case. I didn't want to share it with anyone...it was nice to be somewhere where no one knew what happened."

"Is that why you really left Homicide?"

You nodded.

"Where did it happen?"

"Brooklyn."

He ran his hand over his face. "I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You don't need to apologize for that. I would never force you to share things with me, especially something like that."

Instead of responding, you stepped towards him, wrapped your arms around him, and leaned into his chest for a hug. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly, almost as if he was terrified to let go. He kissed the top of your head and you cried softly into his chest.

There was so much more you wanted to explain, so much more you wanted to tell him, but you couldn't seem to find the words. You just wanted to curl up in his arms and shut out the world...but you knew you couldn't do that either.

After several minutes, you pulled away, wiping your face in embarrassment. You noticed the wet spot on his shirt and you blushed. "Sorry," you whispered.

He looked down at his shirt and shrugged. "I'm not. You're always welcome to use my shirt to dry your tears."

The way he said it made you laugh lightly, a sound that was like music to his ears. He smiled at you warmly and you met him with a softer smile.

You could tell he wanted to say something--something that was probably important--but he seemed to think better of it. "Are you gonna be okay by yourself?"

"Yeah...I'll be alright."

He nodded. "Okay. Call me if you need anything--I'll come running."

You gave him a sad smile. "I know you will."

He squeezed your hand and slowly backed away down the hall towards the elevators. He clearly didn't want to leave you and you wanted him to stay more than anything--but you knew if he did, it would change your relationship forever.

Your hand rested on the doorknob, but you couldn't get yourself to turn it and go into the apartment. You watched him as he slowly turned his back to you and walked down the hall.

For the next five seconds, you stood frozen in place. You let the events of the day wash over you and you found yourself suddenly filled with the realization that you didn't want to live without him. Somehow in the past year, he had become your best friend, your rock, your hope, and so much more. If you let him leave now, you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

Before you knew what you were doing, you took off running down the hallway.

Elliot heard your footsteps and turned around. Surprise lit up his face as he watched you racing in his direction.

Without a second thought, you launched yourself into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist and burying your head into his neck. He held you tightly, strong arms keeping you from hitting the ground.

"Stay," you whispered against his skin.

"Look at me," he murmured.

You looked at him, tears filling your bright eyes.

"Say it again."

"Stay," you whispered with a little more force than before.

His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips and back up to your eyes. You knew what he was silently asking and you didn't want to say no. You crashed your lips against his, the action so clearly filled with emotion.

He kissed you back with equal intensity, one of his hands sliding up your back to cup the nape of your neck. He made his way back to your apartment door, swung it open, and kicked it closed without ever separating his lips from yours.

He pressed your back up against the door as he continued to kiss you so he could lock the door. As badly as he wanted this--wanted you--safety was still on the forefront of his mind.

"Bedroom?" he asked against your neck.

"First door on the left," you answered breathlessly.

He carried you to your room and tossed you onto the bed rather gracefully. You used your elbows to lift your upper body as you watched him slowly begin to undress before you.

He unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the ground. He quickly rid himself of his undershirt, giving you an unobstructed view of his muscled form. You made a small sound somewhere between a groan and a moan, causing him to smirk knowingly.

"See something you like?" he teased.

"I see a whole lot that I like." You beckoned him towards you and he complied after kicking off his shoes.

He hovered over your body, caging you beneath his much larger form. "You're so beautiful," he murmured.

You felt your cheeks heat up, unused to such sweet words from men. Thankfully, he didn't expect a response from you; he simply wanted you to know. His lips brushed against yours in a soft kiss and your hands tentatively made their way to his back, feeling the warm skin beneath your palms.

Elliot's own hands began a gentle caress down the curves of your body, his lips trailing behind. He began to unbutton your shirt, then slid his hands across your stomach, coming to rest on your hips.

The moment his right hand touched your hip, you instinctively flinched away from him. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at you. Your eyes were far away and a look of discomfort clouded your face.

He pulled away from you, not wanting to do anything you weren't comfortable with. "I'm sorry," he said gently. "We can stop."

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts along with the distant look in your eyes. You focused on the man in front of you and took a deep breath. "I want this, Elliot. I really do..." you paused. "But there's something you need to know first."

He nodded, but remained silent, waiting for you to speak.

You bit your lip and looked down at the duvet cover on your bed, his gaze too intense for you in the moment. "It was a little over a year and a half ago," you began. "I was living in Brooklyn, working Homicide...I was happy."

"It was Spring," you continued. "The night breeze was cool and comforting. It brought the promise of new life..." you trailed off for a moment. "My apartment was on the third floor. It was warm, so I opened the window...I forgot to close it before I fell asleep."

You exhaled heavily before continuing, "He came into my room around midnight. I woke up with him on top of me, his hand covering my mouth, my arms tied to the headboard above my head. He was wearing a mask...I never saw his face. He put a gag into my mouth and tore my pajamas from my body."

You had to stop for a moment. The images from that night flashed through your mind, rendering you silent.

"You don't have to tell me," Elliot whispered kindly.

"I want to--I need to," you insisted. You took another deep breath. "He raped me for hours. He used a knife to cut me and he'd hit me when I struggled. Eventually, I was too weak to fight back...and I just took it. Just before he left, he used my stove to heat a metal brand...a brand he burned into the skin just above my left hip."

With shaking hands, you pulled your shirt to the side and tugged your pants down just enough so the brand was visible. "It says 'Property of MST'," you said softly.

Elliot's eyes were brimming with tears. He wanted to kill anyone who had ever hurt you...starting with this son of a bitch. Lucky for him, the man who did this to you was already dead.

"I never knew what it meant--what 'MST' stood for. Brooklyn SVU didn't have many leads and they never had a solid suspect. Since I never saw his face, I wasn't much use either." You shuddered slightly. "But I remember his voice. It lives in my nightmares and the darkest corners of my mind. I'll never forget the sound of his voice."

For the first time since you'd started, Elliot made a comment. "His voice--it changed after he grabbed you."

You nodded. "The moment I heard it, I knew who he was--but my surprise gave him the advantage and nearly cost me my life."

Elliot reached out and took your hand. You finally looked up at him and found yourself overcome with emotions.

As if he sensed it, Elliot pulled you towards him. "Come here, sweetheart. Let me hold you."

You curled up against his chest, feeling safe in his warm embrace.

"Thank you for telling me," he said softly.

"Thank you for letting me."

He kissed the top of your head. "I won't let anyone else hurt you. Never again."

You sighed. "You can't promise me that."

"Maybe not, but I'll die trying."

You pulled away from him so you could look up at his face. He looked so fiercely protective you had no doubt he would do anything for you.

You touched his face gently before pulling him towards you for a kiss. What started out as a sweet kiss quickly turned to passion.

Elliot crawled back on top of you as you began to lay back against the mattress, his lips locked onto yours. He wanted to be gentle with you, make sure you were comfortable every step of the way--make you feel safe and loved.

"Can I touch you?" he whispered.

"Please," you begged softly, your own hands coming to rest on his chest.

He didn't need to be told twice. His hands went around your waist and pulled you towards him, giving you just enough room to get your shirt off. He made quick work of your bra, tossing it to the side of the bed.

He saw the scars that littered your chest and they broke his heart. How someone could hurt you was beyond him, and he was determined to make you feel beautiful.

His lips pressed against each and every scar that he could see, along with the soft skin of your breasts and your pert nipples, eliciting soft moans of pleasure from your lips.

Elliot was the first man you'd been with since the rape and you couldn't be more glad that you waited. He was so gentle, so affectionate, so loving--so accepting.

Your hands grasped his belt buckle and you quickly tugged it loose. You unbuttoned his pants, but you were too slow for Elliot's taste. He pulled away from you just long enough to shed his pants before he was right back on top of you, lips grazing the flesh of your stomach.

When he reached the top of your pants, he looked up at you for permission. "Can I take these off?"

You nodded and lifted your hips up to assist him. As he pulled your jeans down your legs, you found yourself feeling nervous. This would be the first time anyone had seen your legs, other than your doctor, since the attack. They were riddled with scars, especially your thighs.

Elliot's heart nearly broke in half when he saw the extent of the scarring on your legs. He found himself wanting to kill the monster who did this to you yet again, but he took solace in the fact that he could never hurt you again.

He looked up at you, blue eyes filled with emotion. "You're perfect, (Y/N)," he whispered. "Absolutely perfect."

You would have argued with anyone else who said those words about you, but there was something so incredibly sincere in the way he said it that you found yourself believing him.

"Elliot, please touch me," you begged softly.

"Anything for you, baby. Anything for you."

He dipped his head down and pressed a soft kiss on the burned flesh of your upper hip where the brand marred the skin. The sweet, gentle action sent shivers up your spine and a soft sigh left your lips.

Elliot smiled against your skin as he moved downward, focusing his attention on your thighs. He kissed every inch of your skin on your left leg before moving to the right. By the time he reached your core, you were practically panting with need.

His lips grazed your mound, providing no relief to the throbbing between your legs. You lifted your hips towards his face, seeking some form of friction, but he pulled just out of reach. You let out a little frustrated groan, earning a deep chuckle from him.

"Patience, doll. I'm trying to take my time here. It's difficult enough without you taunting me with your pretty little body and those sweet noises you make."

"I've waited for so long, Elliot," you whimpered. "I just want you so badly."

He was very tempted to give in, after all, he'd been waiting even longer than you had. He'd wanted you from the moment you'd walked into the squad room a year before.

"I know, baby," he said softly as he massaged your thighs. "But if I can wait for an entire year to touch you, you can wait a few more minutes, can't you?"

You let out a grumbling sound, followed by a sigh. "I suppose that's fair," you mumbled.

He laughed lightly. Now that he'd gotten you to agree to be patient, he decided he didn't wanna wait. Without another word, he lowered his head, settled comfortably between your legs, and dove directly into your pussy with a satisfied moan.

You gasped at the pleasurable sensation and immediately reached for his hair. There wasn't much for you to grab onto, but that didn't stop you from raking your nails against his scalp.

He groaned against your pussy and pushed his face even closer while pulling your hips towards him. He was clearly enjoying the sensations you gave him, as well as the activity he was currently engaged in.

While Elliot may have been enjoying himself immensely, nothing came close to the level of pleasure you were experiencing. His lips, his tongue--his mouth--it all felt so incredible. He was quite clearly experienced and he wasn't holding back.

"Elliot," you gasped, fingers desperately trying to find purchase against the skin of his arms and shoulders. "Please--I need--" you couldn't finish your thought, but he seemed to know exactly what you needed.

He slipped two fingers into your dripping hole and began to stroke your g-spot, while continuing his delicious assault on your clit. The sounds you made were music to his ears and he started to imagine what you'd sound like when you came apart on his mouth. He needed to hear it so badly--needed to feel you clenching around him, moaning his name, gasping for breath...

He didn't have to wait long. Within minutes, you were coming apart beneath him, his name repeated like a prayer from your lips. Your hips bucked up against his face, but he held on tightly, continuing to feast on your release.

Your body quickly became overstimulated and you begged him to stop--it was just too much. He decided to have mercy on you and he came up for air with a triumphant grin on his face. His mouth and chin were shining with your juices, but you couldn't find it in yourself to be embarrassed. Not when it felt so good; not when he looked so damn proud about it.

"Com'ere handsome," you murmured softly as you reached for him.

He happily crawled up your body, placing kisses to your skin as he moved. When he reached your face, he hovered over you, eyes scanning your face--as if he was memorizing it.

You pulled him down to you and kissed him passionately. The taste of yourself on his lips was foreign, but it felt so right.

His hard length brushed up against your thigh and you were reminded he was still wearing his underwear. You offered him a little friction with the movement of your pelvis against his, eliciting a groan from deep in his throat.

You pulled his head back down to you, kissing along his jawline until you reached his ear. "Lose the underwear, babe," you whispered.

You were quite certain you'd never seen anyone move so fast in your life. You blinked and he was back on top of you, hard cock demanding attention, precum beading at the tip.

You hooked your leg around his waist and flipped him onto his back before he knew what was happening.

He chuckled lightly as he landed on his back beneath you. "Who said you could be in charge?" he teased.

You batted your eyelashes at him and smiled. "You're still in charge, baby. I'm just on top."

He had to admit, the sight of you hovering above him, looking like a goddess, was an incredible image. One he hoped would live in his memory forever.

"May I taste you?" you asked in a soft, seductive voice.

Elliot's eyes widened and he nodded slowly. He watched as you positioned yourself so your mouth was directly above his erect cock. He thought this was another image he would like to add to his collection, but when your mouth wrapped around him, every thought he'd ever had was gone in an instant.

Every movement of your tongue, your mouth, your hands, had him moaning and breathing heavily. He tangled his fingers in your hair and pulled it to the side so he could see your pretty face.

You flicked your eyes up to meet his, never ceasing your movements. His moan was loud enough to wake the neighbors--the eye contact almost making him come.

He began muttering words of encouragement, a mixture of "that's it baby" and "fuck, doll, you're doing so good". Each phrase he uttered became a little more breathless as he neared his release.

Your jaw had begun to ache, but you didn't care. You wanted to taste him, wanted to feel his hot cum shoot down your throat. You moaned around his cock at the thought, sending pleasing vibrations through his body.

"Shit--" he gasped. "I'm gonna--fuck, baby--gonna cum."

You moaned again in encouragement and flicked your eyes back up to his face. You wanted to watch him as he orgasmed.

A moment after you looked up at him, he looked down at you--making eye contact. His eyes seemed to roll into the back of his head and he leaned his head back as he came with a cry of your name.

You lowered yourself so you were taking his cock completely into your mouth and throat, allowing his seed to spill down your throat. His grip on your hair had tightened to an almost painful level, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

You helped him ride out his high and his grip on you lessened as he began to come down. After a few moments, his body shivered with aftershocks and he gave you a gentle tug.

"Sensitive," he gasped.

You sat up and offered him a smirk. "So how did I do?"

He laughed breathily. "Come here you delicious creature," he mumbled as he reached for you.

You settled into the crook of his arm, laying your head on his chest. He leaned forward just enough so he could kiss the top of your head.

"Best I've ever had," he whispered.

You looked up at him in surprise and disbelief, but everything about his expression told you he was serious. You blushed as you murmured a quiet "Thank you."

You settled back against his chest and he let you lay there for a few moments before rolling over and caging you beneath him. "My turn," he teased before leaning down to kiss you.

You giggled and pulled him closer, lips chasing after his hungrily. Within moments, his cock had hardened and he was ready to go another round.

You were slightly surprised when you felt his erection brush against your core--most men you'd been with were one and done kind of people.

Elliot must have seen the surprise on your face, because he said, "I can't let my girl have just one orgasm."

Your eyes widened and he laughed lightly.

"What?" he asked.

"It's just...well--I've never had more than one before," you answered honestly.

Now it was his turn to look surprised. "Never?"

You shook your head.

"It's my mission to give you at least two, preferably three or more."

"Three?" you asked incredulously. "Or more?"

He grinned. "All I need from you is permission to try."

"You absolutely have my permission," you said quickly.

You went back to kissing each other and running your hands over each other's bodies. It didn't take long for you to both be too worked up to wait any longer.

"Shit--" he mumbled. "Condom's in my wallet."

"I'm on the pill," you said breathlessly.

His eyes scanned your face for the slightest hint of discomfort, but all he saw was raw desire. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

You nodded. "Very," you breathed out. "I wanna feel you."

How could he say no to that? He groaned softly and pressed his cock up against your entrance.

Much to your surprise, you weren't nervous at all. In fact, you were excited and desperate. His cock was large--larger than you were accustomed to--and you hadn't experienced penetrative sex in over a year. But dear god, you were ready.

"Elliot, I need you," you whispered.

That was all he needed to hear. He pressed his cock up against your entrance again, but this time he kept going until he was fully sheathed inside of you.

Once he bottomed out, the two of you let out soft moans and you clung to his arms for support. He gave you a few moments to adjust before beginning to thrust.

As soon as he started to move, you understood what your friends had told you for years. They would talk about how amazing sex was--how skilled and incredible their partner was--how their partner cared about their pleasure more than his own. All of a sudden, for the first time in your life, you knew what they meant. This was what sex was supposed to be like. This was what having a loving partner felt like.

"(Y/N)," he whispered against your skin as he thrust into you. "Tell me what you need."

You weren't sure what you needed--this kind of sex was new territory for you. "I'm...I'm not sure. Just--try different things and I'll tell you."

Your enjoyment was all that mattered to him. You could have asked him to do almost anything and he would have. He was a little surprised you didn't quite know what you liked, but he was determined to find out.

Elliot shifted his position so your hips were elevated slightly and he pulled your legs up to rest against his chest. He had a feeling you would like this particular position and boy was he right.

The new angle allowed him to hit your g-spot with each thrust. You moaned loudly and grabbed the sheets as you writhed beneath him. It felt so good you could barely formulate words, let alone a coherent sentence.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please, what, baby?"

"More," you gasped.

He smirked slightly as his hand slid between your bodies in search of your clit. When his fingers brushed against you, you let out a squeal of delight.

Elliot focused all his attention on getting a second orgasm from you. His hips never faltered and his fingers worked their magic on your clit.

You fell apart within moments, strangled cries of his name and obscenities pouring from your lips.

He continued to thrust through your orgasm and he slowly let your legs come back down around his waist. Your body shuddered beneath his and he head you tight as he moved slowly.

"You okay, sweet girl?" he whispered as he kissed your face.

"More...than...okay," you said between breaths.

"Good," he murmured. "Think you can give me one more?"

Your eyes widened. "There's--there's no way, El."

He chuckled. "Well, we'll see."

He sat back up and pulled your hips down so you were flush against him, then he twisted them so you were on your side. He pulled your left leg up against him and proceeded to thrust into you with renewed vigor.

You were surprised by the incredible feelings washing over you--you'd never felt such immense pleasure in your life. Every time Elliot switched positions, he gauged your reaction and took mental note of the ones that had you moaning the loudest and writhing against him.

He finally flipped you onto your stomach and continued fucking you from behind. Within seconds, you determined you'd found your favorite position. You could barely breathe--the pleasure was so overwhelming.

Elliot noticed too. He held your hips tightly as he thrust, desperately trying to control his own impending orgasm. He knew he was going to get a third one from you in this position, so he kept up his movements.

You were muffling your screams into the pillow and your legs had begun to shake. You couldn't explain this sensation even if your life depended on it. It was a pleasure you'd never before experienced and it threatened to drown you.

Your third orgasm slammed into you without much warning and your pussy spasmed around his cock as you came. He could barely hold back, but he wanted to see your face when he finally came.

You were beyond spent, so he gently flipped you over and slid back inside of you. He was close to his own high and he couldn't wait much longer.

"I'm close, doll--just wanna see your face," he mumbled.

You touched his cheek, pulling his face down to yours for a kiss. When your lips separated, you whispered, "Come inside me."

"You sure?" he asked tentatively.

"Please. Wanna feel you fill me up."

He groaned loudly--your words having a larger effect on him than he expected. After a few more thrusts, his hips began to stutter and his thrusts became uneven.

He gasped and grunted and moaned your name as he came, filling you up with his seed. Once he was spent, he collapsed on top of you, completely unable to move.

You wrapped your arms around him lazily, enjoying the feeling of his weight on top of you.

"Hurting you?" he mumbled.

"I like it," you whispered back.

The two of you laid like that for several moments before Elliot finally regained the strength to roll off of you. You let out a sound of disappointment at the loss of contact, but he very quickly pulled you against his chest as he laid down behind you.

You were both quite warm, but there was something so wonderfully comforting about his arms that you couldn't force yourself to pull away.

After several minutes of comfortable silence, Elliot finally spoke. "We should probably shower."

"Mhmm," you hummed in agreement.

He chuckled lightly. "How 'bout I get the shower started? Make sure it's nice and hot before I come get you."

"Mhmm," you hummed again.

He smiled and shook his head as he placed a kiss to your head. He dragged himself out of the bed and headed to the bathroom to start the shower.

After a few minutes, Elliot came back out to get you. You giggled as he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bathroom. He was so gentle as he helped you wash your body, his lips dancing across your wet skin as the suds washed off.

After the shower, he dried you off and escorted you back to your bed. You curled up under the covers and let out a soft, contented sigh.

You looked up at Elliot as he tugged his boxers back on. You felt a pang of worry, which must have shown on your face because Elliot spoke in a concerned tone. "Sweetheart? You okay?"

You nodded. "Do you wanna--I mean, would you--could--?"

"I'd love to stay," he said quietly, answering the question you couldn't quite get out.

The tension eased from your body and you sighed in relief. You threw the covers back and he crawled in beside you. He dragged you to him, tugging you against his chest. He kissed your forehead as you nuzzled into him.

You'd never felt quite as safe as you felt in his arms. You couldn't have even imagined feeling so comfortable with another person, let alone a man--not after all you'd been through.

That safety--that comfort--allowed you to fall asleep within minutes of curling up with Elliot.

Elliot, on the other hand, couldn't quite fall asleep yet. He was just so damn happy...he didn't want to spend another moment without you. You made life worth living, even through all the darkness you both experienced at work. But he couldn't say the words he felt in his heart--at least not yet.

Soon, he thought as his eyelids grew heavy. Soon.

#Elliot Stabler x reader #stabler x reader #law and order svu smut #elliot stabler x reader smut #elliot stabler smut #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #detective stabler smut

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