#things I am good at: talking about fandom stuff. annoyingly ranting about fandom stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

technoplaguearchive · 5 years

Text

Cruel To Be Kind (2/4)

Midoriya just wants to be a hero, Bakugou's hero, but Bakugou isn't having any of it.

Pairing: MidoriyaxBakugou / BakuDeku Rating: Teen & Up Category: M/M Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku No Hero Academia Originally Published: 2019/04/06 on AO3 Chapter: 2 of 4

Previous || Next

Midoriya Izuku could not be described as particularly imposing or tall. He was a little shorter than other men his age and he looked, for all intents and purposes, like a changeling child; all wide eyes, freckles, and innocence.

Bakugou was starting to believe in the changeling child theory a little more at this instant, seeing the usually cherubic face twisted with disappointment and grim determination. That green energy that sizzled over his body when he fought seemed to be harnessed wholly in Midoriya’s eyes, eyes that were slowly burning a hole in Bakugou’s face. He could feel the disappointment radiating off that small frame.

He didn’t need to deal with this shit. He didn’t need Deku’s holier than thou attitude tonight, especially not after the day he’d had. A day that had just pushed him more to come out when he couldn’t stand being alone in his house with his own thoughts. All day he had heard about how Deku would have handled the situation better and he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t need a reminder of the pretty perfect boy’s utterly perfect way of dealing with everything in life. He didn’t need to see that heartbroken look crossing his face when he realized Bakugou wasn’t backing down. And wasn’t that just dumb because all their history together should have taught Midoriya that Bakugou didn’t cave to anyone, let alone a nerd like him.

“Move, nerd.” He shoulders roughly past Midoriya and tries to blend back in with the crowd by the bar. Close to the door, easy to get away after he took this shot. Speaking of... he tosses it back with a throw of his head and leans into the wall behind him. Deku, annoyingly, is still attached to him and watching him with impossibly huge green eyes. What the fuck was with this guy’s eyes? Who could possibly express so much with just their eyes? In all their years together, it had been one of the things that had bothered him; those eyes were fucking unnerving. “The fuck you following me for, Deku,” he growls out when the shorter man doesn’t stop his staring.

At the mention of the hero’s name a few heads swivel in their direction and Midoriya’s cheeks turn a wonderful shade of pink, making the freckles stand out more. Bakugou can’t help staring at those little perfect dots. Everything about the nerd was perfect- and wasn’t that just stupidly fucking infuriating? He watches as the hero’s scarred hands cover his face, trying to hide himself from people now starting to pull out their phones. The girl closest to him has hers out the quickest and already has it pointed at them by the time he snarls in her direction and swipes it from her. “Your mother ever tell you it’s fucking rude to video someone in a private setting?” The girls face pales as he leans across her to drop the device into her purse and he smirks at the reaction. Good, let them be afraid. Midoriya, when he finally looks back to see if the idiot was still cowering, looks aghast at the entire situation and is still standing there like he must babysit Bakugou to make sure he behaves. Gross.

“Ka-Kacchan?”

Ugh, here it comes.

This time Midoriya tugs on his wrist as he says his name. Bakugou rips his hand away, more forcefully than needed truth be told, and stares down into the face that haunts him. “Kacchan, maybe you should calm down. I- I can take you home?” He looks so endearing and honest as he says it, making Bakugou’s stomach twist. “I know I just got here but I really don’t mind if you need a ride home because you seem awfully drunk and this really isn’t like you. Should you really be out right now? Do you have to work tomorrow? Oh! I guess if you did then you wouldn’t-“

Bakugou slaps a hand over his mouth and leans in close to growl, “I wouldn’t fucking be here if I had to work, nerd, so stop your mumbling. It’s annoying and you’re drawing extra attention.”

Midoriya’s eyes skate side to side to see if anyone was paying attention. They were not, meaning Bakugou was just being a bully again to cover his feelings. Gently, Midoriya pries the blonde’s hand from his mouth and holds it between his scarred ones. They weren’t necessarily rivals anymore, not like how they were before at least, but this is still too much for Bakugou to take so he pulls his hand away to stuff it in his pocket.

“Kacchan, please let me take you home. You’re not acting like yourself and I don’t think the public needs to see a top hero acting like this. It might hurt your rating.” Midoriya’s words are full of concern that Bakugou doesn’t want to hear. He didn’t need this stupid talk, he’s given it to himself at least a hundred times over the last six months and he ignores it each time too. The green haired doofus is still talking when Bakugou tunes back into his rant. “I didn’t think you’d ever start drinking like this. How long has this been going on? It doesn’t seem like it’s for fun. Kirishima said that you’ve been doing this a lot more recently but at home. I’m glad that at least you’re staying home for it, no one can get video of you if you’re not out-“

Bakugou tunes him out again. Once Deku got on a rant there was no stopping him until he reached a conclusion or wore himself out. He focuses instead on starting to count the freckles on the green haired man’s face, realizing after the fifth one that he was staring at the same freckle because they were all starting to blur. Fuck, okay, so the alcohol was catching up. The glass in his hand finds its way to the small ledge on the wall- shit that would hurt if someone ran into it, that couldn’t be safe- and he leans forward into Deku’s space to tower over him and maybe intimidate him into shutting the hell up.

The effect, to his dismay, is quite the opposite.

Midoriya’s eyes squint up at him beneath green lashes and he stares up into Bakugou’s face and Bakugou had to wonder what Midoriya was seeing right now that would make him utter the next stupid sentence of, “You drink like a fish dying for water.”

Okay, that was out of left field and possibly the stupidest thing he’d ever heard come from Midoriya's mouth, but the response from the blonde is immediate and just as dumb. “Then I’m a fucking fish,” he gives the other man a smile that’s all teeth & malice, “glub glub, motherfucker.”

Satisfaction.

Midoriya’s face contorts into confusion for several seconds as he processes the ridiculous phrase. However he opens his mouth again and ruins it all once more. “Let’s get you home, Bakugou. You’re obviously not feeling well,” he says as he reaches for Bakugou’s arm.

Drunk or not, years of training has honed Bakugou’s instincts to be razor sharp and he twists away, knocking back into the previously mentioned ledge and sending his glass tumbling. Midoriya is quick with his own reflexes and catches it several inches before it hits the floor, green energy crackling and dissipating as quickly as it came. Bakugou is impressed and can tell Midoriya notices when he looks back up at him. Seeing the small smile tug at the green haired man’s lips is enough to reign Bakugou’s interest in and he schools his features quickly into annoyance. His arm throbs with pain and he knows it’s going to bruise tomorrow, if not tonight. It certainly wouldn't be the worst injury every for him, just the dumbest.

Midoriya turns to leave and Bakugou isn't sure if he's relieved or not at seeing the man’s back to him. The indecision is short lived when he watches him push through the crowd to deposit the glass at the bar and then turn back. By the time that passive face graces his vision once more he's decided he's going to err on the side of relieved that he was leaving but now just annoyed that he came back.

Slowly, like reaching out to a wounded animal, Midoriya places a hand near the sore spot on Bakugou’s arm, testing for a reaction. That scarred hand slides down to cover the sore spot and Bakugou hisses a breath in between clenched teeth. He's torn between ecstasy at being touched and pain at feeling coddled. They stay that way for several long seconds; Midoriya’s hand gently covering his injury and Bakugou staring down at it like he's never seen it before.

In the end, his pride wins out when he sees a flash of pink and red in the corner of his eye. Looks like the rest of the group came to find them... Or more likely to find Deku so they could fawn over him some more.

The thought is like an electric current jolting through his body, a feeling like being hit by one of Kaminari’s stray blasts ricocheting from the place where Midoriya is touching him to his brain and back again. It's enough to bring him to his senses and cause him to pull away from Midoriya’s scorching touch. Just in time, too, as Ashido and Kirishima spot them and make a beeline towards them, their looks equal parts pitying and relieved.

Kirishima claps Bakugou on the shoulder and hauls him into a bone-crushing hug. ”Oh man, I’m so glad we found you guys!” The tall redhead pulls back to look into his friend’s face and asks the loaded question, ”You guys okay?”

Bakugou opens his mouth to snap out ”Of course I am” but is beaten to the chase by Midoriya, who gives the exact opposite answer; ”I think Bakugou drank a little too much, I was offering to take him home. He still lives in the same apartment right?”

Were they really fucking talking like he wasn't standing right there? Did he suddenly become invisible in the last five seconds?! He's about to snap at them when Kirishima nods to Midoriya’s question. ”Yeah, the big flat by that bombass ramen place and with that knock-off coffee chain I can’t remember the name of.”

Ashido pats Kirishima’s shoulder consolingly. “You can’t remember it because you drank a lot of rainbows tonight, honey.”

“Oh, yeah that sounds right,” Kirishima chirps with a bright grin.

How was the idiot so happy that he couldn’t remember the name of the coffee chain? - Actually, Bakugou can’t remember it either right now. Shit.

Midoriya’s hand wraps back around Bakugou’s arm while he’s distracted and he gives him a slight tug, pulling the unsuspecting blonde slightly off balance and into him. Midoriya seems slightly surprised by this, if his face is any indication, while Kirishima and Ashido look positively delighted. Midoriya lets out a little awkward laugh. “I’ll get Kacchan home then. You guys have a good night,” he offers with a wave as he starts trying to tug Bakugou along behind him. Shocked at the brazenness of the green haired shortie, Bakugou lets himself be tugged along for all of five steps before he shakes free and stumbles back into Kirishima, who thankfully catches him under the arms and releases him quickly. Midoriya’s face is sullen when he turns back to see where his ward had disappeared to. Bakugou swears he catches a flash of pain when Midoriya sees Kirishima helping him but it's gone as quick as it came, leaving the blonde sure he was just imagining it.

”I don't need you to take me home, ” he growls. To his own ears, the words are a little loose around the edges; a sure sign he was verging on needing to be done with drinking. When Midoriya reaches back out to him he slaps the hand away with a pop of sparks, feeling only mildly regretful when he sees the shock register on the green haired man’s face. He can’t recall ever rejecting Midoriya so violently after their reconciliation.

“Kacchan, please-”

“Quit with your fucking hero complex, Deku. I don’t need saving. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity!”

The outburst seems to take even Midoriya by surprise and he claps his hands over his mouth. The sight would have made Bakugou laugh if he wasn’t so aggravated by the idiot’s need to protect him, as it stands he just wants to punch a hole in the nearest wall.

Kirishima, loveable idiot that he is, moves quickly between the pair with a large, yet forced, grin. “Come on guys, let’s just grab another drink and go back upstairs and hang out,” he turns to face the small green haired man beside him and gazes at him imploringly, “What do you say, Midoriya? I know you just got here, I’d hate to see you leave already.” Kirishima turns on the big sad eyes and Bakugou is glad he can only see the side of the idiot’s face. He knew that look well enough to know prolonged exposure almost guaranteed the receiver would do anything Kirishima asked. Deku, being the pushover that he was, would probably cave soon.

So it comes as a surprise to Bakugou when the nerd looks around Kirishima to pin him in place with a squinty-eyed stare. He could see that power in his eyes again, solely focused on him and determined. Bakugou feels a small shudder roll up his spine but swallows it down before it can overtake him. He knew the power that Deku possessed, knew if he wanted it to this would get ugly quick. Something feral in his mind snaps at that and Bakugou smirks, letting it overtake his face. Fine, if the nerd wanted to play then they’d play.

“Yeah Deku, you just got here,” he sing-songs smugly, “go hang out with everyone. I don’t need a babysitter, I’m a big boy.” Somewhere to his left he hears Ashido’s curse of “Oh fucking hell boys” then Kirishima is grabbing Bakugou around the waist to keep him away from Midoriya. He wasn’t even aware he’d moved towards him.

Midoriya nods to Kirishima who releases Bakugou and backs off. Some silent signal of ‘I got this’, which was just aggravating since when were they close enough to read each other? That feral beast in Bakugou’s head rises again, not liking that Kirishima was buddying up- no, no it didn’t like that Midoriya was getting close to Kirishima.

“I’m fucking out of here,” he snarls as he turns to exit their small group. It’s a fucking wonder they hadn’t drawn more of a crowd, as it is the people immediately surrounding their group trip over themselves to move away from him.

He sidles up to the bar again and, spotting a few drinks sitting there, grabs a shot and downs it. Fuck whoever it belonged to, he needed it more. The blue haired boy next to him gapes in disbelief and Bakugou tosses him a sneer for the trouble. A scarred hand wraps around his arm in a vice-grip from behind and starts hauling him back through the crowd, towards the exit of the club that he knew deposited into a shitty grimy alleyway. He didn’t really want to think right now about how he knew that alley was there or how gross it is, he just knew that was the only way out that direction. Which was baffling; wasn’t it making more of a scene to drag him through this crowd?

When the door closes behind them with a small yet ominous click, Midoriya throws Bakugou across the alley so they’re face-to-face. He can still hear the click of the door in his mind, the note of finality in it. So it was gonna be a fight, was it? Good, he could use a fight.

He steps forward towards the other man only to stop when he speaks. “I don’t want to fight you, Kacchan. You’re not even walking straight.” Bakugou scoffs at this and stumbles back into the wall behind him. “See,” Midoriya yells, “you can’t do anything right now without help. Just let me take you home.” He takes a tentative step towards Bakugou and reaches out, only to let his hand drop back down. “Please, Katsuki,” he whispers pleadingly.

That voice is his undoing in this moment. How dare Midoriya think him incapable! Did the nerd think he was better than him? Did he think he couldn’t take care of himself? He didn’t need saving, he wasn’t some helpless fucking idiot. And he was going to prove it.

Bakugou snarls and steps towards the green haired man before him, reaching out and steadying himself on his shoulder. He leans in close so they’re almost face to face and whispers with a growl, “Listen here, you little shit-“

Midoriya rears back and shoves Bakugou off of him. “No! You listen!” There’s desperation on his face, causing Bakugou to be stunned into silence. “You’re not fine! Why won’t you let me take you home? I thought we were past this, Kacchan.” Midoriya looks away now, ashamed, as if he’s said too much. His cheeks are stained a pretty pink that draws Bakugou’s eye. He bet they felt as warm as they looked... Nope, not the issue right now. He had to remember he was mad at Deku.

The nerd is still talking, rambling now about their past and how he thinks Bakugou can do better than this and what’s wrong because this isn’t like him- What the fuck did Deku know anyways? He didn’t know what kind of stress Bakugou was under!

Finally his last tether to staying any semblance of calm in this moment snaps and he lashes out with a poorly aimed explosion towards Midoriya, who sidesteps it easy and grabs Bakugou by the arm to sling him back into a wall. Bakugou is stunned momentarily before he regains his senses and turns to lash out again but Midoriya beats him to the punch, grabbing Bakugou’s fist and pushing him back again. This time he follows him back into the wall and holds the angry blonde in place with a forearm to the chest, faces close together. Bakugou takes the time to study the stern set to the green haired man’s brow, the way the space between his brows crinkled together and folded a freckle in half, the way his eyes looked sad even when they were angry-

“Kacchan you’re not even listening to me.” He presses his arm into his chest a little firmer for emphasis and sighs. “Why won’t you let me help you? We’re friends,” he trails off sadly and looks away aimlessly down the alley, “I thought we were finally friends.”

“Tch.”

Midoriya’s head snaps back at the signature noise.

“I’m not your charity case, Deku. Don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

That spark lights back up in the other man’s eyes and Bakugou can feel the deranged grin straining his face. He loved it when the nerd was ready to fight, it was better than that pathetic pitying look he usually wore. Maybe he could just push him over the edge and get this itch out of his system...

“I’m not some fragile little doll you need to protect like all your other friends,” later he’d realize he had confirmed they were friends, but not right now, “I don’t need fucking Deku to swoop in and save me. You’ve been doing this shit all our lives and I don’t fucking need your help. I don’t need anyone’s fucking help.”

He can see that fire snap and crackle in Midoriya’s eyes and the grin threatens to break his face now. Fucking finally.

Midoriya shoves against Bakugou before releasing him and jumping back in a crackle of green lightning, the energy dissipating as soon as he lands. Bakugou, meanwhile, can feel the sparks in his palms. He wanted to blow something up, to show he didn’t need anyone’s help. He didn’t need the pity. Midoriya has other plans though.

”Stop being like this!” The outburst startles Bakugou into letting the explosions building in him to die down and he straightens. Midoriya isn't done yet. ”Stop acting like you're on your own when you're not! You have friends, let us help you. We care about you, you idiot!” Bakugou can see the nerd sniffling now, tears pooling in the corners of his bright eyes. ”I care about you” he whispers, the quiet of the alley letting the words carry and caress Bakugou’s ears.

The look on the blonde’s face is one of shock and confusion which causes a derisive chuckle to slip from Midoriya. “Of course you don’t get it. You don’t think of anyone but yourself.” When Bakugou opens his mouth to refute this statement Midoriya holds a hand up to stop him. “You’re cold and unfeeling and blind, Kacchan. I’ve known this for awhile now and I’ve accepted it. We all have.”

Bakugou can feel the wetness building in his eyes and it agitates him, spiraling him into a frustrated rage. He wasn’t crying! He wouldn’t cry! Fuck this nerd! What did Midoriya know anyways?

“What is that supposed to mean, Deku?”

“Kirishima’s been in love with you since high school and you just let him keep acting like that-“

“Kirishima knows the score. You think it didn’t come up after all this time? You think I’d just let my best friend play the fool? Do you really think that low of me?” He doesn’t want to admit it but if Midoriya really did think so little of him, he didn’t know what he’d do. He’d spent so long trying to prove himself better than everyone only for Midoriya to shrink him right back down to the level of that scared kid who didn’t think he’d ever be good enough. “Well you know what? Fuck you! I’m not as fucking heartless as you make me out to be! You and everyone else think they know me and you don’t!”

Midoriya just looks exhausted now, the fight having seemingly drained out of him at seeing Bakugou so desperate and worked up. “We do know you. I know you, you big idiot. I’ve known you my whole life. Who else would know you better?,” he rubs his hands over his face and throws his arms wide, “You play like you don’t need anyone but you do, Kacchan! You more than anyone, needs someone, so just let me help! Let me just take you home. I don’t know why you’re getting so defensive about this.” His arms drop to his sides as he lets out a long-suffering sigh.

Bakugou’s temper snaps again, a chord pulled too tight and on the verge of breaking altogether. “Because you and every other fucking wannabe treat me with kid gloves!” He stalks towards Midoriya on the opposite side of the alley and pushes into him until the smaller man’s back hits the wall. “In case you haven’t noticed, Deku,” he sneers, “I’m not a little kid. I’m not some fragile little boy that needs a hero.”

Their faces are close now, too close almost, but close enough for Bakugou to feel Midoriya’s panting little breaths hit his chin and see his own reflection in his eyes. When he reaches up to place his hands on either side to cage the smaller man in, he can hear the soft little half-gasp that slips past his lips and he represses a shudder at it. God, this was too good of a look on him…

Midoriya swallows thickly and Bakugou unconsciously tracks the movement with a predatory gaze, red eyes burning with barely controlled anger and something he didn’t like to admit out loud. It’s the unnamed part that is his downfall, however, as Midoriya takes full use of the distraction to punch Bakugou hard in the stomach and send him backwards enough to put distance between them. When Bakugou finally gets control of himself several seconds later Midoriya is staring him down in determination.

“I know you’re not a little kid anymore. I’ve known that for awhile now. You’re strong and confident in ways you didn’t used to be.” He lowers his fist and stands up straight to stare Bakugou in the eyes. “I wouldn’t love you so much if you were that same kid.”

There’s a static hum starting back up in his ears, similar to when he’d seen Midoriya show up on that balcony, except there’s nowhere to fall back into and no Kirishima to hold onto to ground him. So he falls backwards until he hits the wall behind him, fingers gripping into the old brick as if that would be enough to ground him and quiet the insistent fucking buzzing in his head.

No. No no no no. Fucking no.

Midoriya did not just say what he thinks he did, did he? He couldn’t have. This has to be something he’s hearing from all the alcohol. He just imagining this shit and hearing what he wants to hear. His drunk ass brain is conjuring shit up because there is no way Izuku Midoriya just casually tossed out that he loved Bakugou. And if he did, he had to have meant it in some different way-

“Why else do you think I care so much what happens to you, Kacchan? Why else would I deal with your shitty attitude all the time and defend you to the public?”

Oh fuck had he been muttering out loud? Shit, he was around the nerd too much if he had picked up on that habit. Fuck his drunken ass brain he didn’t need this shit right now. Although it might have been only natural, they did grow up together and certain things were bound to rub off on each other. But no, none of that nonsense right now, he needed to address Deku’s completely idiotic ass statement.

“No one asked you to defend me, you stupid nerd. I didn’t ask you to care, either.”

Midoriya barks out a laugh then snaps his mouth closed quickly, as if he hadn’t meant for that to be out loud. When he lowers his hands there’s a sad putting smile on his face that raises Bakugou’s hackles.

“No one had to ask me. That’s not how love works. I just…. love you anyways.” He takes a tentative step towards the blonde then stops when Bakugou backs against the wall with a snarl. “Can you please let me take you home now so you can sleep this off and forget it all happened?”

What kind of shit was that? Who gives a fucked up love confession then tries to act like it didn’t happen? Did Midoriya not want to love him? Well screw that. If Bakugou had to be in love with this nerd for the past five years then he had to suffer too! And this was hands down the worst confession ever. This was not how he ever anticipated any of this going down. He had a plan, dammit! He was going to show up to Midoriya’s house with flowers and that stupid candy he liked and there was a speech he needed to work out and and- NO!

“Fuck your confession, nerd. No you can’t take me home and fuck you for trying to treat me like an invalid.” With one last growl he shoves off the wall and towards the door to go back inside.

“Where are you going,” Midoriya cries out, voice high with desperation.

“Back inside. I need another fucking drink.” He casts a scathing look over his shoulder. “Don’t fucking follow me.”

Bakugou can feel Midoriya’s eyes on him as he drags himself back into the bar, adrenaline drained and leaving him tired and foggy. Another drink would fix this. Or maybe a few more. However many it took to forget this entire fucking night had happened.

#bakudeku #bakugou x midoriya #midoriya x bakugo #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction

25 notes · View notes