#theyd have to pay me so much to draw this

[catsburgers]

chat this MIGHT be dialtown! (closeups under the cut!! ft. their songs and why i paired them w/ the ones i did)

randy - today today (jack stauber)

the lyrics fit him heaps and it actually makes me a little sad. i didn't write out the entire verse bc i ran out of space but the full part is

"Today, today, is one of those days That carries you slowly into next time And as folks walk by, you see with your eye "Hold me" is repeatedly given

and by GOD is that him. pathetic sad sopping wet man who just needs a hug please give him one oh my god

norm - chemical overreaction (will wood) (you'll notice a pattern later on)

that song has a very midwest cowboy feel to me (the line "Nettles on my saddle and a badge on my vest" is a very big give away), and yeah he IS a chemical overreaction like.. yeah. the line i picked was just the one that stood out to me the most

"My mouth is dry and my eyes are red I’m chewing on sand ‘cause the desert’s in my head" uhh yeah

typegingi - popipo (lamaze-p)

i honestly couldn't think of a song for them because they are just So. if you asked me to make a playlist it would be full of vocaloid bc i feel like theyd listen to it. it plays 24/7 in their mind

"ぽっぴぽっぴぽっぽっぴっぽ (x11)"

oliver - things to do (alex g)

oliver was someone i struggled with admittedly, i was gonna go for a lemon demon song bc honestly he gives those freak vibes (he IS two trucks and i stand by that) but i feel like things to do fits too. like read the lyrics its so him (or i have a very skewed view of these characters idk sorry)

"Hold on tight to this time, this place cause Everything you know will be erased You were born inside your head and That is where you'll be when you are dead"

karen - willard! (will wood)

please listen to willard! its so her pretty please pls pls plssss. tired bank worker thats so so tired but wants to see the world. plss...

"You know I couldn't hurt a fly, my friend I'm not the type to step on ants I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps More for the plights of mice than men See, I myself have been stepped on so many times It's started to feel like my place I've failed to fit in into those nests that scrape the sky Is there room for me in your cage?"

bigfoot

i did his route over a year ago and didnt do it again during my replay sorry bigfoot fans love you :(

EXPLODES I LOVE EXPLAINING THESE

god/hobo - mr capgras

ITS HIM. LIKE IDKK ITS SAUR HIM.

"What you feel and what you do Are those things really you? And if not, then what is? (Never never never) So, my God, what’s wrong with you? And I’m still asking who that is"

roger - i bet on losing dogs (mitski)

hes so mitski coded its insane. we havent got much from the dialtown teaser but we DO have his dsaf personality to go off, and he was a complete mess in that.

"I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place By the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side"

peter - a pearl (mitski)

all dsaf holdovers are mitski coded bc it was born into their body the moment they became a phone guy. once again not much to go off in dialtown and ik he seemed rlly chill in what interaction we had but god he is my fav and you can pry my mitski from my cold dead hands. also yeah i reused his art from my dsaf drawing sorrry i didnt think it was worth it redoing the exact same ref

"It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night"

mayor mingus - everything i wanted (billie eilish) / laplace's angel (will wood)

ok i couldnt pick between these two, theyre so different but so similar

everything i wanted is rlly her, like even the title is so mingus. she's dialtowns mayor, she has everything she wants, except her grandfathers recognition and she'll never get it.

"They called me weak Like I'm not just somebody's daughter Coulda been a nightmare But it felt like they were right there And it feels like yesterday was a year ago But I don't wanna let anybody know"

laplace angel is also her to a lesser degree, the song is about the difference between good and bad, and UGH we know mingus is evil but she's also hurting and thats not an excuse and [explodes]. the little (hurt people? hurt people!) that's officially in the song title is also her. like the term "hurt people hurt people" arehghks. the repeated "if you were in my shoes, you'd walk that mile/you'd see i wear the same size as you" like. shit if ppl were in her shoes WOULD they do the same thing?? probably not!! but she feels like she HAS to do these things and assumes that everyone else would do it too. yk. i love mayor mingus so much

"You, could you take a look at me? (Man no more than animal is made of moral chemicals) Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad? (Any form mechanical, thank you God) Ooh, whatever you think of me (From the hordes of cannibals, to psych wards of hospitals) If you were in my shoes, you’d see I wear the same size as you (It’s a small world after all) Oh oh right!"

billy - ???

demons dont get songs.

finally

jerry - half decade hangover (will wood)

hes sooo. even the title is him. like yeah he WOULD be hungover on the job if i was jerry id be pounding vodka by the litre. 12 german shepards each with different illnesses. yeah pass me the margarita (i have never had an alcoholic beverage in my life).

"Wonder how I didn’t die This is not my life, I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive Wonder how I sleep at night Well I count pink elephants, blessings, and skeletons"

if you read to the end, thank u so much (and please go seek therapy). if you have any other song suggests lmk in the replies!! but dont tell me songs wont fit i MIGHT cry. these designs r mostly canon but i added my own flair to them (namely typegingis entire design, god/hobo having dog ear antenna (inspired by my own dt oc having cat ear antenna), peters springlock scars, mingus being way more cat then orignally and also making rogers suit just a LITTLE too big for him, showing how he really isnt fit for this position in his job. he'll grow into it eventually <3)

#dialtown #dialtown art #dialtown typegingi #dialtown fanart #dialtown randy #oliver swift #dialtown karen #dialtown oliver #dialtown bigfoot #dialtown norm #dialtown roger #dialtown phone dating sim

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

18 & 20 for the ask game. i need to hear how this hypothetical drama would unfold

you picked the GOODIES

18.) what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?

this is a toughie is the thing. while im not one of those creators thats terrified of being offensive or problematic, i also dont pay that much attention to elements of work that might offend. im more interested in being genuine and trusting my message rather than relishing in having #problematique content.

that being said i think a lot of people would not like that sicely isnt a g*ld st*r lesbian or that lucerne doesnt use labels, bc twitter is really hung up on what characters "really" are or what stories "really" mean.

i think theyd also do that thing where theyd be like ugh look at these children currently in abusive situations why are they not acting 100% perfectly, the author clearly has no idea what theyre doing with portraying abuse, this is just torture porn and fetishizing ptsd/osddid. bc theres no way that the things that happen in CW could ever happen to people, bc abuse happens to other people and never in anything i might have to interact with.

20.) your ocverse just got a movie trilogy a la hunger games style. how have they horribly mangled your message/theme so that the movies are now a showcase of what the original was condemning?

This ones also a toughie actually bc a large part in why the hunger games movies contributed to showcasing what the original work condemned is because the media circus and bloodsports as vapid entertainment were directly being condemned in the original and #Media isnt really a huge part of carousel waltz. i think in order to really turn carousel waltz on its head youd have to be simultaneously very victim-blamey to the children but also prop up the adults as the ones who must "save them", bc children cant do anything on their own and cant be trusted to have legitimate grievances with the adults in their lives. flattening midas into either a villain who never cared about the people he abused or apologizing for him as a well-meaning patriarch who was just led astray and by proxy flattening the abuse into depictions more palatable to the wider consumer audience would do it i think.

but i dont know if it being a movie trilogy would necessarily cause those changes to occur-- movies are visual and sequential like comics but usually have to be 2 hours or less and are overwhelmingly held hostage at the whims of distributors, executive boards, investors, etc. so the influences it would have over carousel waltz would be along those lines. i think that with the time crunch it'd probably be really easy to make the story less subtle, and to have to hammer home points. certain characters necessarily would not have as much screentime and focus in a movie trilogy, which i think WOULD contribute to being an example of what im trying to condemn, and a movie might inadvertently say that some abused children are just collateral damage and we can move past them, some abused children dont have interiority or anything to draw attention to them, some abused children are more important or worth rescuing more. its also very important to me that most of the carousel waltz kids r not white, and that the grownups are, but casting would probably whitewash them or try to make the story colorblind instead of keeping in how midas' abuse takes advantage of his identity of whiteness over them. combine this w the idea that there needs to be adults to save these kids and u get a white savior araceli. if this concept makes you want to gnaw your leg off at the ankle to get the shackle off, that just means youre still human! try to hold onto that feeling.

since magical girl isnt a big genre in the west theyd try to reflavor it as some other thing like superheroes or a dnd party or something. or theyd want to age up the kids so the bad things happen to a more acceptable age group bc the idea that kids might have bad things happen to them is a scary thought so theyd completely miss the point abt it being a story abt child abuse and now its a buncha late teens-early 20s bullshit.

im actually debating how much swearing i want in carousel waltz (it was really hard writing guardians dilemma without zizi swearing) but executives would only let me have one fuck and would not let anthea call anyone a cocksucker :(

#cecil drawls #carousel waltz #making up a guy to get mad at is fun sometimes #plaguery #THANK U OPHELIA

[jammboe]

Good luck with your commission!! As someone who's thinking about opening commissions, do you have any tips/tricks for it? :>

I also love how you draw yona so much T.T

Thank you!!

I think to start with definitely don't undersell yourself, people who will want to support you will be happy to pay the price you set. Secondly id say to only take on a manageable amount of work. I used to try and take 4 or 5 commissions at a time and would feel overwhelmed and art blocked by the 3rd piece. Now i only take 2 at a time and it gives me room to breathe and i know it's what i can handle :)

same with the type of art you offer (like waist up, full body, portrait etc and if you want to do full colour or black and white) i nevr really enjoyed doing waist up drawings because of how long theyd take!! So now i simply offer portraits because i know i can easily manage them

These are the main tips i can think of and a lot you will learn as you go. Im sure you'll do fantastic :)

#if you have any other questions you can message me and I'll try help!!! #also you're making me want to draw yona again 😔😔

[moenmomentsthemoe-en]

18, 20, 22 ask thang :3

HIHI J!!! THANK U FOR THA QUESTIONS

this became sorta long becasu i. me me ramble so ill put the answers under a cut!

ask game here :D

18. A memorable meal this year?

oohh hard pick. mmm id say maybe ice cream sundae days or milkshake days!! or those coffee dates i used to go on my own :] . i dont get much money to spend on stuff like those so like. when i do. its when im having an Experience. also i think its nice to sit down with a sweet drink .

im never going to forget my 9.30pm accidentally upsized white mocha latte when i was so so so stressed about not keeping up with assignments, failing at developing proper skills, going over curfew + not having a good life but also being too stressed out that i was numb to it? then lo and behold the barista said theyd accidentally upsized my drink and i didnt have to pay extra for it and that was really nice of them . it came when i was at a low point so !!! :] (AUHG THE DRINK WAS REALLY BITTER BUT i was touched )

20. What’s something you learned this year?

uhhh. i learnt to be niceys. to myself? i think. OOHH and i learnt a lot of technical art stuff but tbh thats a stressor on itself

the ten thousand things ive learnt this year are mostly about my own mental condition and i dont wanna traumadump auhga (BUT its helped me to know atleast)

OH ALSO if you beat a mixture with flour in it for too long it creates too much gluten and causes ur food to be hard n thick which is not niceys (want AIR and FLUFF)

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

Cat cafe !!!! i went there on my birthday by myself and it was really nice just. eating n drawing in the presence of cats. and also one staff member wished me a happy birthday which was really nice of them since it was a rough day !!

#moen inbox #ask game #!!! #THANK U JERRSTER RAHHH

[hatgame]

UMUMUM *shakes sputters shakes sputters*

HI IM THAT ANON THAT REQUESTED U DRAW MOONJUMPER THAT ONE TIME *i still cry in happiness abt that everyday btw thank you!!!*

BUT UHH...CANN U TELL ME MORE ABT UR THOUGHTS ON SWEETENED DEAL? (Snatcher x Cooking Cat) I THINK ITS REALLY CUTE OKAY BYE THANK YOU! *peddles away on my Dora big wheel bike*

oh hello :) im glad you liked that drawing! & sure ^_^ glad you like it too

i commonly see it interpreted as snatcher n cc acting as hats parents and while that's sweet its not how i see it at all. i like them a lot more as her adult friends who take care of her every now and then but ultimately leave and trust her to handle her stuff, not taking that much responsibility. im not sure what thatd entail but older sibling snatcher (to hat) is kind of fun i guess. EMPRESS IS BOWS AUNT FOREVER THOUGH this im hellbent on.

ok i think i wanna talk about how ccs relationship w hat n snatcher developed. i always thought of cc as someone hat is the most verbal with, relying everything that's happened to her to him. while enthralled, proud and concerned, i dont think ccs that protective of her, hes shown to be much less responsible than people usually write her as tbh. she trusts hats capabilities n skills but still definitely recognizes that she is a child in need of support, and shes certainly warm and affectionate with her, but at the same time its not intruding or obligate, like a parents affection.

i think cc would be somewhat intrigued by what's up w snatcher because their behavior is so puzzling, probably especially so from hats retellings. once snatcher becomes a regular on hats ship (not his territory=cant assert hinself as much as he does in forest), where they probably meet, i dont think shed be intimidated at all, because i dont honestly think hed try to create that impression (it certainly didn't in the cut cafe scene. like, youd expect them to force someone to pay for them, but they're just kinda docile. they cant even get the people around them to answer their question lol)

i think snatchers like immediately completely pacified by ccs presence. i dont think theyd speak at all either. its lije those silent films where you have to rely on expressions and body language to tell what means what. its a little funny abd disarming because its clear they DO want to get something across, and thats a friendly gesture. it signals engagement abd cintact being established. snatcher would probably struggle with non scripted speech so this sort of communication would probably feel the least threatening. also would add to their already strange and interesting image in ccs mind

while idk how likely snatchers would be to actually do that ive been imagining him curling up in the pillows and napping only to wake up to cc sleeping either on top of or near them, since cuddle piles are probably common among cats + ccs impulsive. they probably would straight up forget to react. maybe they wake up to cc kneading them, make eye contact. one of them remembers cat social cues and slow blinks. other one slow blinks back. snatcher lies back down allowing itself to be kneaded. cc lies down on it. it changes position to be closer to it. not a single word said the whole time. its never brought up again but not forgotten.

uhh if they do eventually begin dating and hats there to witness it she probably wouldnt care much. bow would go awwwww Aawww though. mu is disappointed in ccs taste but probably warms up to snatcher eventually since they have a lot in common + snatcher mu friendship real and important to me

Ok this is not all but ill stop now. hope you enjoyed :) thank you for the ask. i really really loved dora the explorer as a kid

#text #dove dont look #sweetened deal

[call-me-lemon]

Idea for an app: a customisable little virtual friend that reminds you to take care of yourself. Voice acted with like 2 or 3 voice options to chose from. They would have a rigged teeth brushing animation so they could brush their teeth with you to encourage you to do them, they could ask you about how youre feeling and remind you that you matter and that its ok to be sad and theyre here to help you keep taking care of yourself. Premium would block ads and unlock more customization options, and there would be a merch store where you could buy physical merch of your customized buddy. Like how in that old online kids game you could draw your pets and pay an exorbanant ammount for the company to make it into a physical plush and send it to you but instead theyd be way easier to mass produce because theyd look like rip-off squishmallows. There would also be keychains and toothbrush cases and such. The buddy would ask you if youre struggling with anything and there would be an option something like "im struggling to drink enough water" and the buddy would offer to send notifications reminding you to have a sip every so often and ask again in a few weeks. If that doesnt work they could suggest ways to make the water taste better and if that doesnt work theyd tell you to buy a water bottle from the merch store with their face on it that has little lines that say how much water you should have drinked by what times. So on and so forth. Thank you for having me on theorhetical shart tank ig

#idea #ding ding ding ding #I would actually do this myself because I think replica or whatever its called proved that theres a market #specifically a market for apps that let you make an oc that'll just sit there and listen to your problems #and those jars where you pull out a piece of paper every day with an affirmation #except it feels more real because it would have the voice of an actual human being #To be honest I really need to pair up with someone who isnt very creative but knows how to work out the bisuness shit #im the perfect idea guy because I have a lot of ideas and I flesh them out in my head a lot #like to the point where I can see the vague image of the UI for this app I just made up while brushing my teeth

[glitchdollmemoria]

i open youtube on my phone and watch a video. it begins with two ads and i can only skip the second one, and every 5-10 minutes theres another one or two ads. at some point in the video the youtuber spends a few minutes advertising their sponsor because thats the best way for them to get paid for their work. i do not have the money to afford the ad free version of youtube.

i decide to watch youtube on my laptop with an adblocker instead and i use my phone to open an art app instead. i have to watch an ad to access the brushes that i like to use. any time i exit and reopen the app, an ad pops up on my screen. there is an ad banner on the top of my screen nonstop. when i try to switch between artworks, another ad pops up, and when i press the X to close it, i am taken to the app store to buy what the ad was for. i refresh the art app because thats the only way i can get rid of the ad. i do not have the money to afford the ad free version of this app.

i finish drawing and open tumblr mobile. by far the least aggressive in advertising but holy shit, some of these are unsettling. sometimes i mistake the ads for real posts at first. i still prefer the mobile app, but i need to edit my blog, so i go on desktop and see a popup calling tumblr a hellsite and asking me to turn off adblocker and pay to remove ads instead. i do not have the money to afford the ad free version of tumblr.

this continues with nearly every digital service i use. i cant afford to pay to use it, so i either use an adblocker or just put up with companies trying to pretend theyre my friends, or disregarding peoples safety by making ads that flash or are untentionally unnerving, or putting in the absolute minimum amount of effort by using a text to speech program instead of hiring a voice actor and yet they still think i trust them to put any amount of effort into their product when i have no reason not to suspect theyd cut corners for profit in production just the same as in advertising. companies are constantly competing for real estate in my brain, and yours, and yours, and yours, and the alternative is that we all just shell out to use services that are so ingrained in our lives that it becomes incredibly difficult to imagine not having access to them - because these services are often designed to be addictive and draw us in and take up as much of our time as possible and keep us scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and generating more and more revenue. from ads.

and then i say all this to my therapist and he says "yeah youre right this is all kind of a nightmare and i dont know what to do about it either and it scares me" and then we do shots together or something. you get the picture

[svnk1st]

hiii its almost chanukah. as some of u know, i do bracelet commissions. i'm offering 3 custom (simple) bracelets for 12$, nd that includes (untracked) shipping. regularly theyd be about 5$-7$ each.

i am trying to get funds to see my boyfriend still, but i'm also trying to get at least 150$ to help pay for my aac device that i would benefit greatly from. i can also draw, and there's art examples on my blog. if you need specific other examples, just msg me! :) its pwyw

the aac device, for me, is basically a tablet with a special software to go with it. im also wanting to get a stylus for it. so theres that.

my vnmo is @ cakeron and my pypl is @ c4k3

i have a current goal of 250$ in total- the extra 100$ is to help me see my bf.

250$/250$

please reblog!!

likes dont help as much as rbs!

we've met our goal!! any other donations/commissions are welcome, but not necessary!!

#chanukah #jumblr #jewish tumblr #i hate askimg for commissions but Please reblog at the very least #ask 2 tag #my art #my commissions #commissions #mutual aid #kandi #kandi bracelets #kandi kid #bracelets #jewelry #lgbtq+ artist #jewish artist

[corysmiles]

Does Wilbur ever start giving Tommy puzzles to do? I've seen videos of marine biologists putting tiny octopus in jars and watching them unscrew them from the inside.

After a while he realizes just how smart Tommy is and starts bringing him more 'puzzles' to escape, but he's actually teaching him to escape live traps other scientists are trying to use.

-Zeetle

A New Puzzle

————————

Octotommy au

Notes: hey first writing for the new AU!! I love the idea of Wilbur getting puzzles for Tommy and the mer getting so excited every time he solves one. (And I also love the angstier idea of Wilbur teaching Tommy to escape traps) Thank you so much for the ask zeetle my beloved :] 💙

————————

“Tommy come out, Ive got a new puzzle for you.”

Wilbur waited impatiently, the plastic fins on his feet getting pulled back and forth by the icy current as he floated- a reminder that he couldn’t stay long. Meanwhile, his eyes stared intently at the giant rock formation poking up from the sand below- The same rock formation he’d visited every day for months since finding Tommy.

It was a couple months ago that he had found the tiny octopus mer. He’d been setting out traps for crabs, and when he came back that same day one trap was missing. He’d searched around the reef for almost an hour before he spotted the shiny metal bars peeking out of a pile of worn rocks. He’d reached his hand in without second though, but what he grabbed onto wasn’t the hard metal he was anticipating, instead it was soft and squishy.

It was the first time he’d ever met Tommy, and although the octopus mer was nervous he seemed to love being in Wilbur’s hands. Day by day Wilbur came back to take notes on the fascinating creature. He’d never seen anything like Tommy, and although he loved learning more about him he couldn’t he’ll but become fond of his heart laughs and wild personality.

Only a month in the visits started to feel more like visiting a friend then doing research.

“Come on Tom,” Wilbur called out again impatiently, “It’s just me.”

The water was freezing already even though it was only early August, and even with a full wetsuit he felt his skin crawling with goose bumps.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait much longer before a flash of red peaked out from a behind a nearby rock.

Wilbur watched with amusement as small tentacles flicked towards him. They curled around the water a bit, and Wilbur couldn’t help the warm feeling in his chest when he realizes the tentacles were searching for his hand.

Slowly he nudged his fingers forward and as soon as one of the tentacles brushed against it they all wrapped around his hand like a glove.

The small mer’s face beamed with joy as he smiled up at the researcher, “New puzzle?”

“Yep, a couple of them actually” Wilbur chuckled, “Took you long enough.”

Tommy huffed and tightened his tentacles around Wilbur’s arms, “I was sleeping dickhead. You came so early today.”

“Its noon,” Wilbur cocked his eyebrow in amusement.

The mer’s tentacles flashed bright red for a moment before settling back to their natural maroon state.

“You stupid humans and your stupid time,” Tommy grumbled, “I was still sleeping, so it was early.”

Wilbur laughed and brushed the tips of his fingers over Tommy’s head in the way he knew the mer adored. Immediately, the tentacles around his wrist turned pale pink as the mer’s head pushed its way into his hand.

“You’re so clingy,” Wilbur smirked earning another groan from the tiny octopus, “Now come on, let go. Gotta do the puzzles before I freeze to death.”

Reluctantly, Tommy wriggled against his hand before forcing his tentacles off one by one. The sudden lack of warmth shocked the researcher a bit, but he knew this had to be done… Even if Wilbur couldn’t help the smile that reached his face every time Tommy instinctively tried to curl back around his hand.

“Alright Tommy I’ve brought you one new one, and it’s important that you figure it out okay?”

The mer just shrugged and lazily floated around Wilbur’s head, his tentacles pulsing under him to keep him up, “Yeah yeah, hand it over.”

Wilbur smiled at the young mer’s enthusiasm and dug through his bag until his hands met a sharp piece of metal. Even the feeling of it against his skin made him feel queasy.

“Alright just- I need you to go inside of it okay,” Wilbur stuttered nervously, “I just need to see if you can get out.”

Slowly he pulled out the “puzzle” from his bag and carefully watched the mer’s expression. Tommy looked curious and a little unsure, but not afraid. And his tentacles stayed at their natural shade of maroon.

Wilbur wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

The “puzzle” was actually a trap: one of the newest models the lab was using to catch more elusive specimens. And with all the talk about Tommy going around, he worried theyd start using it to hunt after the little mer. He new he’d get fired if they ever found out what he was doing, but he’d already failed his job by not bringing in the new creature he’d discovered.

What more harm could be done by teaching Tommy how to escape from his colleagues.

Tommy swam circles around the cage before letting his torso drift inside. Even though Wilbur knew what would happen, he still flinched when the sharp metal bars contracted around the mer.

“Woah shit,” Tommy laughed nervously as he tried to push the tight bars off of him, “Seems kinda dangerous for a puzzle yeah?”

Wilbur hummed, only paying attention to whether or not Tommy was hurt. The bars dug into his skin but it didn’t seem to draw any blood which was good.

Tommy stuck his tongue out in concentration as he slowly guided his tentacles through the metal bars. Each one prodded around against the container until they landed on a small metal latch.

“Too easy Wilbur,” Tommy grinned, and within seconds he’d broken the latch open.

Relief flooded through Wilbur’s body as he felt the mer wrap around his hand again, and this time Wilbur didn’t hesitate in giving him the head rubs he desired.

“Good job,” Wilbur hummed, “Fantastic.”

Tommy almost purred at the touch as Wilbur’s fingers scratched right above his ears. He swore the researcher’s hands were magic because he’d do anything to make him stay there in the water. But sadly, the human looked like he was half-frozen, and by the feeling of his icy skin Tommy didn’t think he could stay much longer.

“Alright,” Wilbur whispered after a few minutes, “I’m going to freeze to death if I stay any longer. I’ll see you again soon though. Maybe tomorrow. Be careful.”

Tommy deflated and wrapped himself tighter around Wilbur’s hand earning a small laugh form the researcher, “I’m always careful, who do you think I am?”

Wilbur stared fondly at the mer and gently pried him off of his hand, “I think you’re you Tommy. And I know you think you’re invincible. So be careful.”

The mer just pouted at the human’s scolding. He’d gone years without ever being caught (except for by Wilbur), so he didn’t understand why Wilbur was so paranoid. There was no way he’d be discovered again.

It was only when the same “puzzles” from that night started to pop up all over the reef that Tommy realized maybe Wilbur had a point…

#octotommy au #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #hurt/comfort #g!wilbur #t!tommy #corywrites #zeetle ask

[batteryrose]

Sorry to bother you I happened to discover KoFi but being the clumsy with new tools I am I would like to ask someone who know how it work first Sincerely hoping to not be a burden could you please explain it to me or how it was your experience with it ? I am about confused since I read in terms and conditions that fees on transaction may be applied in which case it happen and they are paid by the creator or by the donator?

I took the occasion to compliment your art I teally adire your drawing style 😍💖

I hope you have a nice day :)

hello! ofc I'll help a little. Well basically, KoFi is a creator support and storefront website. With KoFi people can send you money in "kofi" units, and its usually defaulted to 3$ per kofi, but you can change it to however much you want--mine is 1$ per kofi for example. These are donations to you, so you don't need to give anything back to the donator (unless you promised them something yourself!)

Currently, you can also open commissions through KoFi. Payers could access it through a different tab, (not the same one where theyd pay donations) and you can set it up however you want. You're obligated to fulfill the order with this one or the payer could potentially charge you back. There's also a shop feature but I've never tried it before.

The whole communicating and discussing with the client thing is still up to you to do, and KoFi usually only asks the client to provide a social media link you can reach them at. You can also message the client directly on KoFi, but not all clients have a KoFi account.

For all of these, the money will be sent directly to the paypal account you linked to your KoFi account. So kofi isnt the one handling your money. It's basically just redirecting your donators from a cutesy donations website onto paypal. That's why they say they don't take any of your money at all I guess... However. Paypal seems to take a lot in my experience. A 20$ commission could only get me about 17$. That's before the conversion from dollars to my countries currency. So put these into consideration when you decide on your prices.

(Regularly check you paypal account as well. The kofi donations are still counted as 'orders' on paypal, so you have to manually set them on paypal as 'finished' or something of that sort. there are posts detailing on how to do this. Although in my experience Not doing this doesn't really cause me anything. just in case tho!)

Those fees that you asked about, it's basically taken from a percentage of money people donated, so i guess you could say you are the one paying for it, since the payer only paid 20$ dollars and not 20 + fees or whatever.

So far KoFi itself hadn't given me any troubles. It's very nice for me because I have this anxiety with banks and I hate opening up paypal each time to send my client an invoice so they could pay. KoFi basically does it for me. I had problems with Paypal before but not while I use KoFi so i wouldn't worry about it

that's all off the top of my head! you can send more asks, or i'll edit it in later on this post

#asks

[undermattsun-archive]

japan national team x reader | w.c 1.3k

a/n: omg guys here’s the super cute epic collab fic i made w all my frieednsies <33 we all worked superrrr hard on this so pls don’t be mean!!!!!!!!! pls enjoy its xoxox and don’t forget to follow everyone here on this kidnapped by hq collab <33333333333

warnings: not proofread bc who does that xD (guys pls free me from this hell i’m in so much pain i didn’t even look at this i skimmed over it i left it as is, gg)

Read this while lsitening to the best song evar!!!!!!!!!!!1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_cXhBy78T4&ab_channel=JonasBrothers if you dont listen whil reading ill eat ur family MONCH MONCH MONCH

i go dwnstars, yelling ‘by mum!’ bfor laceing up my wite convrrse hightops (NOT blck becauz u cant sharpi on it) wth 1d lyrics scribbled on it. i rmb to draw a directioner infinite sign on mywrist. perfect, i think to mysdlf.

I never thot i would get to go to the olympics all the way on the other side of the planet in toky o japan! It was a dream come true for a simple, average, run of the mill girrl like me, who is 5’7 with naturally wavy hair, that’s not curly or strait and eyes as blue as the dark blue part of the ocean. 

I been dreaming of the olypoics since fetus. I just knew I had to be here, but I never thought it would actually happen. The only thing that would make it better is if I had a smezxy smexy boyfrwend! (A/n: Tee-hee! Maybe even two! (Or five! <333) haha! Aren’t I so quirky? <3)

I’m Wearing A Mint Green Crop Top That Ties In The Front And Some Denim Shorts With Black Converse. I Don’t Need Makeup Because My Skin Is Naturally Smooth And Clear And My Lips Are Already Red #wokeuplikethis And I Listened Only To MCR And P!ATD On The Plane Ride. I Bet You Dont Know Who They Are, THey’re My Favorite Banxds And Are Super GOod And Like Underground Bands. (A/n: Okay But If You Don’t LIke Welcome TO THe BLack Parade GTFO Of My FIc I Don’t Need YOu Here xoxo) 

ok so like,, im on my way to the olympics but then like, i get kidnapped !!! the car i was in was like super expensive and i cant see anything with the blindfold on. i hear voices of men all around me though, for like, a whole 30 minutes before they bring me somewhere and tie me up? "Take Her BLindfold off," one of them say, i hear. and im so nervous. but it's like a dream when they tug my blindfold off and im met with the prettiest emerald orbs ever looking back at me.

my stomach knotted in fear (more like an angry swarm of butterflies fluttering around ) i feel like screaming or squealing or both bc those eyes belong to someone so gorgeous . even more gorgeous than harry styles. hes like a god. i woukd so worship his foot. or something. (squee omg i can’t believe this is happening. i bet you wish that it was you huh?) 

bro who tf has emerald orbs green eyes im blanking rn

^ yo i was gonna ask i cannot for the life of me remember who

his #afff14 sppheres peered into my soul i really just felt seen. i took a deep breath before fainting he was just so pretty. *one hours later* i woke upa nd saw the pretty viridescent peepers staring into mine. like he was literally two inches away from my face omg i could feel his minty breath on my lips it smelled so good.

“My name is atsumu miya,” he said gruffly, the gruffness in his voice so gravely. “And me and me mates here think yer the most gorgeous girl weve ever seen. I blink up at him, orbs gleaming amd full of tears. 

“What do u mean, i’m just a normal quirky girl?” I say shakely, biting my lip. I bit my lip as the piss blond man spoke.

“You don’t know ur beautiful.” YOUR INSECURE DONT KNOW WHAT FOR YOUR TURNING HEADS WHEN YOU WAlk THROUGH THE DO OO OOOOOR

“U may be a normal quirky girl but ur OUR nroaml quirky girl now” his friend said with a deep voice. It was so deep that i almost thot it was like the ocean, he had curly balck hair and his eye were sooo mysterious (a/n i loooove sakusa i can’t believe him and his friends kindapped me omgggg XD)

“Stop it go away” osamu said (hee hee i can never remmber  tell which twin is which LOL i think its osamuuu) “no u have to share” sakusa responded angrily. I starred at them and didn’t know what theyd do next!

I looked over to he side ans see sakura pulling out hand sanitizer passing it around to his teamates. The green orbed boys huff as they put it on. i wished i could see his whole face hes so sedy, look over here pretty girl, i gasp pulled from my thoughts by their captain kita walking into the room with his hands on his hips and was theat aran? “You look even better in peroiusn” aran said to me, walking over to me “how do you know who i am?” i ask.

“listen bbygurl...” he yealls, pulling out a chair to sit acros from me. “you dont get to ask the questions, we are your new masters, and you shall do as we say.” i gulp nervously, my stomach feeling like a sharkndao is happening inside. “we hope u will be worth every penny we payed foru.” 

“M-m-m-masters?” my head felt like it was spinning in a teacup from disney land as i thought about what he just said to me. what did this mean? was i gooing to miss the olympics?? I wanted ot hate him with his super smug look on his face but i cant deny that he looks kind of hot and i’m into guys who look just like him,, the other guys r also relly attractive it makes my heart race. I look around trying to find answers when i make eye contact w a really really reall y tall guy who i thinks name is gao only to see another really really relly tall guy next to him,, hyakuzawa?

“what are yo going to do to me then?” ((*lenny face))

you ask, stomach bubbling. maybe i shoudnt have ateen that stale pizza earlier and washed it down with watermelon-lemon minute maid because now i felt like it was gonna come up. ((ew gross um tw vomit mention hehe)

“Dont worry were going to grab seme din din soon lil one,” one of them says. His name espapes me. Hes a ginger. They wont answer me for some reason and i suddenly miss my freedom when i would go to school (i go to an expesive private school for rich kids ahahah).

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME??” i yell again batting my fists against the ginger but he doesnt even blink. Ive decided hes hot but in a short king kinda way. His hair reminded me of of like cheeto coloured fine thread woven into waves.,,, like the ocean xD (ans...this has an ocean theme)

sudenly there was another voice it was yalling “BOKE HINATA BOKER” i looked with my stricking dark blue orbs and there wasd inother pair of stricking dark blueor bs like the ocean and blck hair. his voicde was veryy deelp an sexxcy (a/n lololol i luv u gakeyama kun *w*)

theres suddenly a loud voice in ur ear screaming directly into ur eardrum " BAKA KAGYEAMA BAKA"  (wtf our they communicating ????  ? )    i cringe at the yellign and another pair of strong arms bulls me away . i land against a hard, solid chest, i can feel the six pack thru his track Suit. 

and then my alarm clock playin what makes u beatyful goes off n i woke up. 

amen.

i rub my eyes wakng up, starrn into the mirror at my super borng brwn ugly eyes and brsh my equaly borng brwn hair. i lok up at m wall and see harey stylz and niallr starinf back at me on t walls. i sigh dreamily. they wud twll me my brwn uairs beatufil. 

#i'm gonna kermit #my eyes hurt #my brain is dying #where am i #kidnapped by hq #tw wattpad

[sokkas-honour]

3 with sokka for your spotify wrapped playlist writing thingy? Also hii hehe i just found your blog 5 seconds ago NICE TO MEET YOUUU

it’s lovely to meet you too! (i prepared these a while ago but tysm for being so supportive of my blog!!)

affluenza - sokka x reader

pairing: sokka x fem!reader (it’s more platonic than anything)

wc: 2.7k

notes/warnings: again, i’m only really using the theme of this song instead of the lyrics. for warning, misogyny?? a bit of neglect

-

growing up a princess was already hard to begin with, but being the younger sister to the nation’s favourite royal was even worse. constantly being in her shadow, being ignored by parents and just being blindly spoiled. you were lucky, you could get whatever you wanted except for your parent’s own attention and affection.

ever since you turned the age of ten, you were quick to notice that you weren’t your parent’s favorite so you would try and do whatever you could to be the star in their eyes. you trained everyday in order to improve your water bending, your warrior skills, just anything that could make you stand out and get your parents to notice you more. but alas, you weren’t the crown princess, the most beautiful girl in the northern water tribe.

it came to a point where, around your fifteenth birthday, you were starting to loose motivation for things in general. all of your work had payed off, you had mastered every healing form and had even gotten secret lessons from local boys trying to use you to get to yue, you had everything you could want except for the one thing you desperately needed. so you started isolating yourself a bit more, the rest of the nation forgetting about you even more.

your isolation changed when you heard of the avatar having arrived in your tribe and suddenly, you desperately wanted to get to know them. if you befriended the avatar and even joined him on his voyage, you might just finally get your parent’s stamp of approval. it was the first thing in months to give you any sort of motivation.

during the dinner that your dad threw for the guests and to honour your sister’s birthday, you had managed to find a spot next to the southern watertribe girl and you two hit it off immediately. bonding over shared experiences as younger siblings.

“yeah it does hurt a bit to have practically mastered all your water bending forms and not get a congratulations from your parents.” was your comment as the two of you spoke about sometimes feeing as thought you’re living in your older sibling’s shadow. what you said seemed to have done something to the girl who’s name you learned was katara.

“you’re a waterbender?” she asked bewildered. her eyes looking at you with excitement and wonder.

“yeah, one of the best in the tribe if i do say so myself.” you joked lightly, a bit confused at her tone.

“i’m a waterbender too! do you think you could teach me a few things?” she excitedly asked, a huge grin on her face. you nodded and finished swallowing your pickled fish that had been prepared by the best chefs in town.

“i mean sure but i’m not sure what i could teach you. i’m basically a master but i wouldn’t say that i’m too far ahead from other people my age.” you responded, explaining to the girl from your sister tribe that you may not be able to teach her much.

“oh, where i come from, i’m the last waterbender. so i’ve never had any actual training.” her gaze averted from yours and you instantly regretted what you said, feeling horrible at your assumption. you were used to being surrounded by waterbenders and had no idea what she must’ve been going through.

“i’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have said that. if you need anyone to show you some water bending forms, i’m more than happy to. but i’m sure you’ll get more from master yagoda.” you searched for her hand and gave it a little squeeze, she turned her head to smile at you which you returned a comforting one back.

“why not master paku?” she inquired, slightly confused at not hearing the name of the respected master she had heard about at one point during the dinner.

“master paku teaches warrior waterbending skills, girls aren’t allowed to learn those techniques, only healing.” you explained, gaze faltering slightly. you hated your tribe’s costume which is why you always tried to rebel in your own way, but she didn’t need to know that yet.

“why? that’s stupid!” she exclaimed, removing her hand from yours to hit her closed fists on the table in annoyance, thankfully not drawing any attention.

“i know! but it’s tradition and the old farts who control this town hate breaking tradition, even my father won’t break it for me!” you explained, giving a small glance to your father who spoke to one of his councilmen.

“maybe he’ll change his mind if i’m with the avatar! we might even convince him to train you!” she suggested, optimism laced in her words but you simply shrugged your shoulders.

“you can try but i wouldn’t get your hopes up. if you do though, make sure to come get me.” you blankly responded, not wanting to give her any false sense of joy.

the rest of the dinner went by nicely, her telling stories about her adventure with the avatar and her brother, who’s name you learned to be sokka. he even inserted himself in the conversation once or twice, making you laugh at his comments. the night had to end eventually, and for yue and yourself, it meant you two have to leave before the party ended.

“y/n, i think i may have a problem.” yue nervously started when you were both alone. “that southern water tribe boy, he.”

“he’s hilarious?” you finished her sentence, a knowing smile on your lips.

“yeah, and i’m scared i might be catching feelings for him. he even suggested to do something together.” she explained, hand grabbing yours nervously, looking to you for advice on what she should do. no matter how much your parents favoured yue on every way, there was so way you could ever hate her or hold your parents’ doings against her.

“oh come on yue, talking to him won’t hurt you. if anything, not talking to him will hurt him.” you joked, placing your hand on top of hers to give more weight to your words.

“i suppose so.” she smiled, most likely thinking about him and the way he made her feel. your smirk never left your face as you watched the way he made her feel.

the next day, you ran into katara and aang as they went to visit master paku to try and convince him to train the both of them. you were going on a simple walk, hoping to run into them.

“y/n, want to come with us to master paku?” katara immediately asked once you were in proximity to the tow of them.

“not sure you’ll be able to convince them but i’d love to either way.” you smiled, waving hello to the avatar.

“well we’re going to try.” aang backed up katara’s optimism which was slightly sad to see as you knew the ending, you had experienced it yourself.

and like you predicted, their attempt to get the old master to go against outdated traditions proved useless. it ended in katara yelling at his misogynistic attitude and giving up to go sit in on a healing session. you decided to join her, knowing it was useless to you but it was nice to a get a refresher nonetheless.

once it ended, you were left to deal with an annoyed katara as aang was still training. you admired her for standing up to him, wishing you had the confidence that she had but you had given up fighting traditions a long time ago when you realised it was useless.

“listen, i’m sorry katara. if you want though, i can show you around town.” you tried to cheer her up but she seemed to agree with no enthusiasm.

during your tour, you made sure to give as many details as you could to the girl from your sister tribe but it didn’t do much to make her smile. her attitude did change though when the both of you ran into her older brother, a lovestruck emotion on his face which immediately led you to conclude he had seen your sister, and you were right.

“we’re meeting tonight at the same bridge we saw each other! yue and i!” was the first he said when he approached the two of you, more directed to his sister.

“really sokka? that’s great!” katara’s mood seemed to change to happiness for her brother. she then turned to you, surprisingly. “you know, maybe yue said something to y/n. did she?”

“why would yue tell her something?” sokka stopped you from answering, taking you slightly aback. his rather none accusing question hurt you more than you’d care to admit.

“i beg your pardon?” you were slightly offended at his question, more hurt but that wasn’t the tone that you wanted to show, knowing that showing hurt was more of a weakness than anything. at least in your household, your parents only seemed to notice your negative attitude when it came out. a comment made by a schoolmate hurt you and when you came home crying, you were simply neglected as yue had come home earlier and your parents were engrossed in her story. you had tried to come to them but were simply ignored. since then, you’ve only ever shown emotions theyd deem negative to your sister.

“sokka, you met her last night. she’s the second princess of the northern water tribe!” katara harshly whispered as you calmed yourself down, making a mental note to thank your new friend.

“yue has a sister? what did she say about me?” his confusion turned to excitement as he practically rushed into your face, too close for your liking.

“yes, and what do you think you’ll get out of me?” you smirked slightly, putting your hand on his chest to push him out of your face.

“i don’t know, what does a princess need?” he questioned. letting your hand linger before you dropped it.

“warrior training.” katara observed as you narrowed your eyes, the smirk still on your lips as you surprised the rather bold boy.

“why would you need warrior training?”

“because, i want to. my father refuses to let me train but i’ve found ways. yue told me you’re supposedly the best warrior in your village and i want some.” you defied his expectations, he assumed you’d probably be drastically different from your sister in a bad way but he was wrong.

“deal, you tell me what yue thinks of me and i’ll teach you a couple of things i know.” he was quick to agree, willing to do anything to know what the crown princess thought of him. you took your hand out to shake on it and he did, both of you looking each other in the eyes in defiance, hands lingering in each other’s grip.

katara giggled at the interaction which brought the two of you out of your stare and let go of each other’s hands.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully yue will tell me more after your little rendezvous today.” you told him before turning your attention back to katara, seeing as though she was with her brother now, she’d be fine on her own. “i’ll see you tomorrow around the healing hut early tomorrow?”

she nodded before you waved the two of them goodbye and walked back towards the palace, looking forward to your first session with sokka.

the next day was pretty eventful, finding out that katara and aang had gone against paku’s rules, meaning that he refused to continue raining the avatar. you found out right before leaving for the session with yagoda and decided to stick around when katara defied him. and by the end of that whole fiasco, she was able to convince him to let her train with him.

after that happened, you immediately went to your father to beg him to let you join paku’s clas but you were met with a wall.

“absolutely not, the times may be changing but i’d rather none of my daughters do anything too dangerous. you still need to finish mastering healing.” was his response, leaving you in complete disbelief. you had mastered every healing form a couple of months ago and he didn’t know.

yue tried to comfort you but you ignored him, deciding to walk around town to calm down. you knew that if yue was the waterbender, she’d be able to do whatever she wanted. even if she was their fragile little girl.

the day went by rather fast, and before you knew it, you were following katara in secret to watch the first ever girl receive training from a master in the northern water tribe. you made sure to not make your presence too noticeable, even if the majority of people didn’t notice you most of the time. you watched in complete awe of her raw skill, wishing that you were right there next to her, having something to make you stand out from your family.

when the afternoon came, you made your way to where the three of them was staying in order to complete your deal with sokka.

“hey y/n, did you find out anything about yue?” was his greeting which earns a little eye roll from you.

“didn’t she tell you that she was engaged?” you said rather harshly, regretting as you saw him look down sadly. “listen sokka, she can’t love you but she does. she’s tied to our ridiculous customs, i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay.” he took a deep breath in and let it go before meeting your eyes that were soft, matching them with a small smile. “ready to get started?”

“more than ready. my stupid father didn’t want me joining katara today so i need to let out some sort of aggression.” your tone clearly annoyed at your father which confused sokka, yue didn’t seem to have any problems with her parents.

“i don’t know if this is my place to ask, but why do you seem to hate your father so much?” he asked, curious to know.

“this is nothing against my sister, i love her to bits. it’s my parents i have problems with, they just cast me aside. all of their attention has always been on yue, hell everyone in this stupid tribe only cares about yue! i’m supposed to just be unnoticeable according to my parents yet they shame me for not being as special as yue! i mastered every single healing form and i even managed to learn a couple of fighting stances, yet it’s still not enough.” you let yourself go, deciding to dump all of your problems on the poor boy who had to hear your practically yell at the end. “sorry, you probably didn’t want to know all of that.” you joked nervously.

“no, no its okay. i just figured that being yue’s sister would be like the best thing. i mean being royalty makes your life basically perfect and i mean, she’s one of the sweetest girls i’ve ever met!” sokka ranted, not exactly being what you wanted to hear.

“yeah, i have everything i could ever want but my parent’s attention.” you laughed in disbelief at how ridiculous your situation was.

“you know what?” a silence had settle after your uncomfortable laugh but he was the first to speak, excitement in his voice as he voiced the idea in his head. “what if you joined us to defeat the firelord and travel with the avatar? that’s sure to get your parents to notice!”

“you barely know me and i haven’t actually spoken with the avatar, what makes you think that i’d fit your little team?” you were skeptic at his proposition, loving the idea but not being sure he was thinking it through.

“from what katara’s told me, you’d be perfect for us! katara could teach you what she learns with paku on the road, i could teach you what i know and you could be our own healer!” he excitedly thought about the idea of having someone else on his team, even if you weren’t the sibling he fell for, he still took a liking to you after your first conversation.

“well then, come fetch me before you leave. my parents won’t notice me gone so there won’t be any problems.” you concluded, you yourself getting excited at the idea of finally doing something that might make you stand out to your parents.

“great! now let’s get started.” he opened the door, a huge smile on his face.

“if you were at all interested, she thought you were a pretty good kisser.” you added before he could start teaching you any of his skills.

general taglist: @butterfly-skinnylegend @biqherosix

atla taglist: @missmorosis @draqondance @firelady-jay @welovediaaxx @sunnypluto

#atla x reader #sokka x reader #sokka of the southern water tribe #atla sokka x reader #sokka x y/n #sokka x you #sokka x yue #aang x reader #katara x reader #atla sokka imagine #sokka imagine #avatar the last airbender imagine #avatar the last airbender x reader #gaang x reader #gaang imagine #sokka

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: Hey

Joe: my flatmate has some work I reckon your mate might be interested in

Joe: but it’ll sound a bit dodgy coming from me so you wanna pass it along?

Joe: moneys alright for no real work, depending on how you look at it

Ronnie: never done any work as a secretary myself

Ronnie: write your own fucking love notes

Joe: I see that

Joe: your accent down the 📞?

Joe: no cunt here’d understand you, never mind the demeanour

Joe: yeah, well, it’d really seem that way

Joe: but I actually need someone to take her off my hands

Ronnie: racism as foreplays playing to the wrong crowd hes more into homo bashing

Ronnie: errr dunno how you read his demeanor mckenna but he aint taken a her off anyones hands since before any of us had phones

Joe: i’ll keep that in mind

Joe: well homophobic of me to not tell him myself so he’s welcome for the freebie

Joe: not actual escorting

Joe: she does art, her life drawing class needs a model

Joe: I ain’t fucking doing that

Joe: tell me I ain’t 📖 him right on that one

Ronnie: fucks sake if youd said it was cash for cock wed be done talking already

Joe: I just did

Joe: sound, she’ll be made up, she’ll get off my case, and he’ll get £15 an hour, apparently 👌

Ronnie: sexist not to ask me

Ronnie: pass that on to your little gf

Joe: weren’t her idea to ask Charlie

Joe: you’ll have to take up that grievance with me as well

Joe: I’ll just point out it’d be even weirder if I’d have asked you

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: how much £ you offering me to bang you

Joe: if I did no point paying you to do it for her and her class and not me

Joe: that’s an interesting take on cucking though, loads that would go for it, I’m sure

Ronnie: ill write it down as youve made me go hunting for a pen in this shithole

Joe: cheers

Joe: take 20% commission or whatever

Joe: or take the IOU I owe him for doing this

Ronnie: you said it hed do this for fuck all ill take the lot and mary wont know it was a paid gig

Joe: if he can fend the flatmate off, undoubtedly a load of art gays he can have his pick of

Ronnie: that what youre telling yourself for why you dont want me to do it yeah

Joe: you wanna do it?

Ronnie: i want you to admit the reason you dont want me to is cause he scrubs up enough for horse girl and her course mates not to stage an intervention

Joe: not what it is so no

Joe: I know I don’t want to get my shit out in front of a load of middle class kids who know fuck all about fuck all, so I assumed as much for you

Ronnie: dont ever assume fuck all for or about me

Joe: why do you wanna do it so bad when like you said, you can pocket the cash and get him to?

Ronnie: i dont wanna fucking do it

Joe: well that’s grand ‘cos I reckon Sophie wants to see dick so

Joe: she’d be really let down

Ronnie: usually what gets you off

Ronnie: but im made up youre in love now like

Joe: please, she either don’t get it’s weird to ask me which means she’s some kind of special

Joe: or this is the start of her 50 shades fantasy and I have to be the let down to end all let downs and i’m already doing my best

Ronnie: rem is right to pay for it when she could just walk in on you taking a piss or having a shower

Joe: when you’re just a creep and not a predator 💔

Joe: not the girl my parents warned me about

Ronnie: if theyd be the type to go down the stables theyd have seen the other side of her

Joe: you’ve got your own daydreams, alright

Joe: put out the feelers, who isn’t a little gay these days, right

Ronnie: go ed and pass on ive got a bigger dick than him and she will have

Ronnie: i dont dream 💔

Joe: shame she isn’t equally inspiring for you

Joe: or anyone, really

Ronnie: cry about it with him when youre done pimping

Joe: what do you dream about then, when you’re awake

Ronnie: what you cant read me

Joe: clearly not

Joe: dashed your modelling dreams

Ronnie: blind and not able to read braille must be dead hard for you

Joe: is that sympathy?

Joe: or you offering me 🖐 to 👩🏼‍🦲 time

Ronnie: again you wish

Ronnie: 💭💉

Ronnie: cant make it any easier to understand soz

Joe: maybe I do

Joe: far as 💭s go

Ronnie: fuck maybe you do or you dont

Joe: well it ain’t why I don’t want to get my arms out for her

Joe: not tried it

Joe: but not a no

Ronnie: give a shit what you do or dont want to do for or to her

Joe: that is a no, tah

Ronnie: tell her not me baby

Joe: that’s not a big sister duty?

Joe: gutted

Ronnie: wouldnt know im the middle kid dorothy does that for us

Joe: i’ll ask him when i’m crying on him then

Joe: make a change for me

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: rack up the ious like a fat line hes gonna be made up

Joe: oi he’s like family ain’t he

Ronnie: &

Ronnie: you wanna fuck your mam

Ronnie: not oi ing you

Joe: well you get to think about me and him, you gave me her and you, not fair

Ronnie: life aint soft lad

Ronnie: and stopping at thinking about shit is the difference between me and you

Joe: I get it, you’ve gone there

Joe: purely here for the homophobia

Ronnie: your kinks match 💘

Ronnie: purely there so the lads dont kick off before hes got his kicks

Joe: see, you’ve got it in you 💘

Joe: the sisterly thing

Joe: my hate don’t get expressed by putting me in him though so I won’t run my mouth

Ronnie: not what ive got in me but im not giving you the talk just cause your ma didnt

Joe: you want a virgin to defile reckon Soph and her mates are prime, vampira

Ronnie: set it up with her ill show if i get no better offers

Joe: lucky girl

Joe: no more nights in doing doodles of cute girls that look like you

Ronnie: we dont look alike youll have to accept theyre of you

Joe: i fit less than you, by far

Ronnie: fuck off

Joe: sorry

Joe: it’s weird, say the least

Ronnie: i fit nowhere she made sure i dont

Joe: ditto

Joe: so buzzing i can write shit songs about it though

Ronnie: no

Ronnie: weve got fuck all in common

Joe: just the same mother

Joe: who put her shitty genetics and choices on us both at different times

Ronnie: i ain’t got a mother you cant cross out the un from wanted and act like its the same word

Joe: incubator then

Joe: she was 19 and still fucked, don’t think they had a five-year plan down

Joe: worse if she did, the state of

Ronnie: she made 1 choice for me shes still controlling you

Ronnie: were not the fucking same

Joe: you reckon

Ronnie: if you wanna claim it aint her fault youre this big of a pussy try it

Joe: you don’t think it’s my fault?

Joe: woah, just say you love me

Ronnie: i dont think about you when you aint trying to compare us

Joe: hot

Joe: I’ve thought about you plenty

Joe: uni ain’t that interesting

Ronnie: you came looking for me werent the other way round

Ronnie: you ain’t interesting to me mckenna

Joe: you reckon you’re fascinating, yeah?

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: if your flatmate knows anyone doing doc film making they can wank over me lying in the gutter when youre done

Joe: nah

Joe: you don’t want control of your narrative

Ronnie: i dont want a narrative

Joe: then i’ll be the only wanker

Ronnie: in your dreams

Joe: well you painted such a lovely visual

Ronnie: black screen would get you going can stay in your own fucked head with no interference then like

Joe: Static is my kink

Joe: you know me so well

Ronnie: your fucking kink is not shutting the hell up til i do

Joe: i’m a gentleman

Joe: and i’m taking that review

Ronnie: youll get a lengthy one from my big brother when you are

Joe: you don’t have to settle for hearing it and getting your kicks second-hand

Joe: I’ll have to be somewhere to be unavailable for this life drawing class

Joe: let’s do something

Ronnie: what you paying me to babysit

Joe: you can ask my mammy or you can see what you can get

Ronnie: if i was gonna talk to her it wouldnt be about you

Joe: thank god

Joe: so take the risk

Ronnie: of what

Ronnie: boring me is asking too much of you

Joe: that’s surely a given

Joe: risk anything but

Ronnie: if I need rescuing again ill call you thats the only given Joe: you’re worse than her

Joe: christian grey or superman, like

Joe: gonna be BFFs yous, I can tell

Ronnie: you dont like being compared to cunts youre nothing like either funny that

Joe: touche

Joe: come on, what would convince you

Ronnie: if youre gonna beg then beg and if youre gonna show me something do it

Joe: I know you’d like to hear me beg but I can’t tell what you’d wanna see

Ronnie: then the answers nothing

Joe: nah

Joe: the answers you want to wait or you wanna be disappointed

Ronnie: why the fuck would I want either of those things

Joe: that’s what I’ll give you then

Joe: the opposite of that

Ronnie: thats meant to convince me yeah

Joe: nah, I am

Ronnie: like fuck will you

Joe: see, you want to be disappointed

Ronnie: ill be disappointed want has fuck all to do with it

Joe: if you don’t come and see

Ronnie: come where

Joe: see me

Joe: i’m new in town, I don’t know where to go

Joe: fuck sightseeing

Ronnie: [somewhere she’d hang out]

Ronnie: go there

Joe: now?

Ronnie: whenever you dont know where to go

Joe: okay

Joe: and I’ll see you there when you don’t

Ronnie: when im not fucking either of our flatmates

Joe: when you’re done being disappointed

Ronnie: when you prove yourself as not

Joe: you’ll see

Joe: I can’t show you over the phone

Ronnie: you could

Ronnie: im going nowhere on a bullshit promise cause im not a meff teenager

Joe: and I ain’t young enough to think that’s a good idea either

Joe: pictures not doing no favours

Joe: if you’re there and i’m there

Ronnie: big if

Joe: I never know where to be

Ronnie: newborn i heard you

Joe: something like that

Joe: if you can’t leave soph alone I’ll do my best begging 🥺

Ronnie: she cant leave you alone id be doing you a favour

Joe: true

Joe: wouldn’t wanna be caught doing that though

Ronnie: let you do the clean up after ive killed and ate her id be caught well fast for that instead

Joe: you’d get caught for being three times your size

Joe: she’s a big girl

Joe: you should share, be sworn to secrecy

Ronnie: doing her a favour i shouldve said

Ronnie: fuck all going for her

Joe: way to get in shape

Joe: she’ll appreciate us using her blood for something artsy on the walls

Ronnie: ill ask the basic white bitch i live with to give me a clue

Joe: 🍆 will be appropriate for her

Ronnie: 🐎

Joe: they might reckon she did it with her dying breath

Joe: very artist of her, dying how she lived

Ronnie: hurry the fuck up with your confession song if you want credit

Joe: you wanna hear me confessing so bad

Joe: but I might be able to hand that in so

Joe: hold on

Ronnie: it aint me whos a choir boy

Joe: ugh, I wish

Ronnie: cant chat shit about us having the same fantasies ive been touched by a old bloke wearing a dress and i dont rate it

Ronnie: standard surrounded by homos night out

Joe: yeah, and the nuns are never the hot kind

Joe: if they didn’t self-flagellate they’d be entirely uninteresting

Ronnie: 💔

Joe: yeah, it’s tragic being this bored/boring, say it ‘fore you have to bother

Ronnie: didnt invite you to no pity party and if thats where youre trying to get me to turn up to dont bother is right

Joe: you mean you don’t wanna talk about your feelings?

Joe: like you said, like being left alone with my own fucked up ones too much to try and start a therapy session

Ronnie: what fucking feelings dead above & below the waist like

Joe: dangerously close to sharing there

Joe: you got your 💉 already then?

Ronnie: wouldnt be this chatty if i had

Ronnie: unlucky you

Joe: I’m the one that wants to see you

Joe: so I’ll cope

Ronnie: cant even spell martyrdom proper so youve fucked yourself looking for a pat on the back off me by matching the definition up

Joe: i’ll just ring mum up yeah

Ronnie: your da if not but it wont have the same satisfying end for you like

Joe: 💔

Joe: validations the last thing i need

Joe: had a whole lifetime

Ronnie: you crawling back to me with a boner for the accent your mummys losing is the last thing i need

Ronnie: get on the scouse samaritans

Joe: don’t reckon that’s a job you’ll get any time soon either

Joe: ‘less the purpose is to make sure people go through with it

Ronnie: couldve fooled me if it aint what else is talking a sad cunts ear off about their problems gonna do

Joe: attention seekers anonymous

Ronnie: no need to meet you there i earned all them badges as a kid 🧷🩸

Joe: wouldn’t be caught 💀 obvs

Joe: keeping it secret adds another level of masochism anyway

Ronnie: does it fuck

Ronnie: keeps you feeling like a smug bitch you can still pass

Ronnie: miss me with that pussy shit

Joe: nah, that’s that i’m in control shit

Joe: it’s not that

Joe: the only thing you might be smug about is how oblivious everyone chooses to be

Joe: if it weren’t also depressing as fuck

Ronnie: dont give em the choice

Joe: why?

Ronnie: why the fuck would you want to

Joe: don’t need to be my mother’s next cause celebre

Joe: she can force the therapy and concern on any of the others, I don’t wanna get better or have to fake like I’ll even try

Ronnie: then dont

Ronnie: cut off your umbilical cord and wipe up the blood trail

Ronnie: not like she tries very hard to herd back the black sheep

Joe: maybe they know and don’t give a fuck 🤞

Joe: I know I ain’t going back so whatever

Ronnie: & you reckon weve got anything in common

Joe: just 50% of our DNA

Joe: never said we were twinsies

Ronnie: if youd have said id have spat in your face 1st time we met get it collected and the tests run

Joe: I wish

Joe: has your face healed

Ronnie: wheres the fun in letting it do that

Joe: 😏

Joe: we can pretend that’s inherited if you need

Ronnie: not 5 i dont play pretend

Joe: if you keep digging, reckon the ink will be gone and it’ll be pure scar tissue

Ronnie: calm the fuck down i can hear how turned on you are about it from here

Joe: spoilsport

Joe: just thinking, scar that only vaguely looks like 🍒s might be well more rugged for my transformation from baby to independent real boy

Ronnie: laughing cos i like pain not cause youre funny

Ronnie: when you see or hear it from wherever youre lurking

Joe: you don’t leave room for me to get the wrong idea, you’re alright

Joe: all them fucked ones are mine alone and already there

Ronnie: get your girlfriend to draw you a pin up & dont tell her youve changed the lass horse head to look like your mas

Ronnie: masc for masc in your bio before you know it and 🦋 tramp stamp to follow

Joe: you know my dad already has a tattoo that looks like her, no bullshit

Joe: and another dead girl on the other arm but that’s a whole other boring story

Joe: playing dress up is off the cards too if I’m ever gonna be a big boy

Ronnie: where do you keep his severed arm when youre not using it to fist yourself and how old were you when you cut it off

Ronnie: if we re telling stories

Joe: 😂

Joe: where we keep the horse

Joe: that en-suite is massive

Ronnie: if he finds out it was a paid gig ill know where to crash

Joe: still gutted she don’t wanna see you naked

Ronnie: youre a liar if you dont wanna see her face seeing me

Joe: don’t know if anyone could be bothered to look at her when you’re about but yeah

Joe: the trauma would really fuel me and make her much more bearable to live with

Ronnie: youre welcome like

Joe: gotta stop being nice to me

Joe: you know stalkers, give ‘em an inch

Ronnie: telling me what to do is the fastest way 🖕

Ronnie: and i know you dont have an inch to give me making the best of this shitshow is what an optimist like me has gotta do

Joe: obviously you’re that type

Joe: not having it in common will have you back 👍

Joe: you’re inspiring, like

Ronnie: chop off my arms and legs and get a camera set up in the en-suite

Joe: you’d fit in my cello case then, could take you everywhere

Ronnie: course youve had a measuring tape out

Joe: hate to kill your optimism with 🍆

Joe: have a go at pushing it back in

Ronnie: how longs your tongue reckon that could kill any girls optimism

Joe: 💔 if it was only good for chatting your ear off

Ronnie: [send him a picture of your weird gross split tongue because obviously]

Joe: [how does that not make you lisp, or does it, I always think that]

Joe: that’s why you’ve not had an invite

Joe: 🚫🐍

Ronnie: gutted

Joe: you know you can show up and do whatever you wanna do whenever

Joe: I’ll take you back

Ronnie: this performance art is meant to what just scare her or teach you how to get her to back the fuck off as well as

Ronnie: im not a fucking tour guide mckenna & you can get yourself evicted without my help

Joe: you know I meant to Dublin

Joe: don’t think it’d take much to scare Sophie off, give it a month for us to both get comfortable and she’ll see what I ain’t

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: I said if you want

Ronnie: dont need your permission to do anything i want

Joe: don’t think any of ‘em are that lax with their socials

Joe: you’d need directions

Ronnie: ive had years to find em & we dont both hang about with horse girls from kent

Joe: can’t say it’s your loss

Ronnie: shut up about it then

Joe: 🤐

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: got a whole fist here, you can keep it

Ronnie: sizeist

Joe: told her yours is massive like you said, it’s fine

Ronnie: i said bigger than his not a horse shes in for a disappointment

Joe: gotta 🤞 she’s an optimist like you babe

Ronnie: unlike you shes gonna wait to see what i do with it before telling me to shove it

Joe: you just wanna blueball me for the pain

Joe: go on, for your lols

Ronnie: she wont want me at all unless youre gonna watch

Joe: and you need a witness so I get time too

Joe: I’ll do it, torturous as it’d be

Ronnie: the iou is gonna torture me too

Joe: if you’re lucky

Ronnie: not the dna half we share 💔

Joe: damnit

Joe: what’s good about being Scouse?

Ronnie: now the beatles are dead youve got fuck all to live for

Ronnie: noted

Joe: only the good ones

Joe: I dunno, anything good about it never happened, left when I was a kid and we still lived in a shithole with shitheads

Ronnie: get in line she left me in a shithole with shitheads 1st

Joe: where were you

Joe: wonder how close it was

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: it makes her more/less shitty depending

Ronnie: it aint gonna change my opinion and I dont give a shit about yours

Joe: fair enough

Ronnie: get cosy with charlie hed take you down memory lane

Joe: not before he’s got it out for the art class tah

Ronnie: you didnt say when

Joe: [probably an evening class like tomorrow or the next day, then the same time a week later]

Ronnie: too fucking late the pen is in pieces

Joe: sure it isn’t the first time you’ve left him a note in blood

Ronnie: hes only gonna cry about it & take the shine off his modelling debut

Joe: awh

Joe: message him 🧓🏼

Ronnie: fuck off calling me old

Joe: 😏

Ronnie: ill write him a note blaming what a twat you are for what hes gonna walk in on

Joe: what mess have you made

Ronnie: havent killed myself yet

Joe: and you’ve not stopped talking so no OD’ing

Joe: possibilities are endless still

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: come out

Joe: we can get new ink to dig out

Joe: whatever

Ronnie: you gonna suck his dick this time

Joe: I’ll just pay the old-fashioned way

Ronnie: flashy cunt

Joe: what being a student is all about

Ronnie: and youre too special to poison your blood how the rest of em do

Joe: I’m not opposed but I can do it alone, I don’t need to go to a sweaty student bar that plays shit songs and has a load of sad Soph clones giving it 🥺

Ronnie: you can get another tattoo without me holding your hand

Joe: I could

Ronnie: go do it 🦋 baby

Joe: have mentioned its not about the tat, yeah?

Ronnie: nah not that ive heard

Joe: come on

Joe: i want to see you, i’ve said loads

Ronnie: youve said loads of shit yeah

Joe: shit i mean

Ronnie: why

Joe: why wouldn’t I

Ronnie: thats your answer then fuck it

Joe: you don’t need to ask ‘cos you know

Ronnie: i did ask and you said why the fuck not

Ronnie: like its nothing

Ronnie: like you didnt turn up uninvited into my life not long ago

Joe: then tell me to leave

Joe: like it’s that easy

Ronnie: i didnt tell you to fucking appear

Ronnie: just cause youre a kid dont make me the dead fish you won at the fair

Joe: I never had the choice

Joe: she told me about you, talked about you all the fucking time

Joe: you’ve always been in my life

Ronnie: and youve never been in mine

Ronnie: im not gonna carve out a place for you now cos you want it

Joe: Alright

Joe: do it then

Ronnie: dont tell me what to fucking do

Joe: I’m not going unless you say it

Ronnie: no shit this is fun for you

Joe: like fuck it is

Ronnie: im the car wreck youre craning your neck to keep looking at

Ronnie: thats all the fuck this is

Joe: lie better

Ronnie: you dont care about me or what this feels like

Joe: I can’t take it back, you know now

Ronnie: you dont wanna take it back

Joe: I can’t, what’s the point pretending

Joe: I never said I was a good person

Joe: being sorry won’t change anything for you

Ronnie: its all your christmases & birthdays im west as this course youre gonna keep on spinning me out

Joe: Piss off

Ronnie: lie better cunt

Joe: So you’re allowed pity parties, yeah?

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: calling you out on your bullshit is allowed if youre crying thats your problem

Joe: if all you want from me is for me to go away, consider it done

Joe: you can’t hack it, my apologies

Ronnie: tell me why if im so fucking wrong

Joe: I like you

Joe: I want you, to get to know you

Joe: I can’t just stop it, not for myself

Joe: So make me

Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do

Ronnie: fucks sake

Joe: you ain’t saying anything

Joe: what do you want

Ronnie: I dont want you to like me

Ronnie: fuck is that

Joe: yeah, it’s obvious you go to great lengths to be unlikeable

Joe: not going to tell no one am I

Ronnie: so hate me soft lad

Joe: I’ll give it a go

Ronnie: ill make you

Joe: give it a go then

Ronnie: where are you then

Joe: [give a location of somewhere near your flat ‘cos don’t need to actually set you on the flatmate rn and that’s likely where you were]

Ronnie: [obviously we’re just gonna show up however long that takes us without another word like !?]

Joe: [just so much eye contact ‘cos what you gonna say what you gonna do]

Ronnie: [definitely gonna take him somewhere sketchy as hell to the level that like Charlie doesn’t know we still go there/we’d never take him ever like you wanna get to know me okay bitch buckle up]

Joe: [can’t let you hook up or shoot up yet ‘cos chronological but go along with this obvs]

Ronnie: [it would make sense if you made out/almost hooked up though because the vibe for the next convo was very much oh fuck what are you doing here we didn’t mean to run each other like this but also v flirty]

Joe: [agreed, and allowed, it’s the obvious vibe but any untold drama can happen to stop you in whatever dodgy place so makes sense]

Ronnie: [literally and just because you can’t shoot up together yet does not mean either of you have to be in any way sober so]

Joe: [hundo, we’re not saying he’s never done a drug lol, he clearly abuses his prescription as is so like, there’s plenty to be done without going there]

Ronnie: [and if we wanted to we could say that you watch her do it here and now before you do it together anyway because you’d both get a weird kick out of that]

Joe: [tea, bet you did not see this coming for your uni experience lmao]

Ronnie: [meanwhile she’s old enough to have left, do you wanna grow up babe? No? okay]

Joe: [the way you’re rolling with this, we know you’re fucked boy but pop off]

Ronnie: [I can’t overstate how much she’d be doing the absolute most to try and scare him away like I dare you to go back on what you said]

Joe: [we know you’re not gonna, soz babe, is very rude how he’s just waltzed in but truly did not say we were a good person lol]

Ronnie: [we know she’s not either and also is here for it more than she will ever express until we’re literally years into this]

Joe: [hi your mother’s daughter, but no, you actually have a reason this is messed up but we’re into it from the off and not pretending, risky af strategy boy]

Ronnie: [is there anything we wanna say happens that has lasting-ish consequences other than the make out/ almost hook up ie a tattoo or a fight with injury potential or an arrest lol]

Joe: [hmm, the possibilities, maybe a fight to show you can, could be about anything, it’s that sort of place]

Ronnie: [that is such a mood I love it and yeah could literally be you’re a new face or could be her fault because of the aforementioned doing the most]

Joe: [totally, and that’ll be an easy way to separate you and not meet until the next convo]

Ronnie: [exactly dr phil]

[midnigtartist]

6. The super long kiss that wasn’t intended

He knows he should be watching the treeline. Sat beside Nott at the front of the cart, Molly knows that he ought to be scanning the tree line for any potential threats to their merry band as they weave their way through the valley. But he just can’t seem to get himself to focus on the slow passing trees as Nein marches southward. His gaze keeps slipping from the road, as he glanced over his shoulder at the wizard curled up in the back of the cart.

As to be expected, he’s got a book propped up in his lap. One of the spellbook he keeps strapped to his side, Molly notes, as he carefully and meticulously sifts through their recent spoils. The faint hum of arcane energy hangs in the air around him. It pricks at the back of Molly’s neck, making the hair there stand on edge and that’s why he’s been so distracted, and certainly not because Caleb looks so darling and content with his task, a small smile curling at the corner of his lips.

No, Molly thinks wryly to himself, it’s certainly nothing to do with that. Not at all.

He swings his legs over the side of the cart bench, earning and disgruntled yelp from Nott as she’s jostled by the movement. Molly ignores this, instead watching Caleb’s, dare he says, giddy smile as the pearl clasped tight in his hand dulls, and he picks up the bracelet he’s been inspecting. Sliding off the bench, Mollymauk seats himself cross legged at the perimeter of Caleb’s pile of spoils, resting his cheek to his fist.

“Anything interesting?”

Caleb starters, but only a little, his head jolting up and eyes blinking as he takes in the new addition to his ring of shiny things. Molly offers him a curling, close mouth smile in lue of a proper greeting.

Caleb nods, pulling at his beard. “Ja, this-” he gestured vaguely over the lot of stuff, a crooked grin on his face. “This ist gut. There is a lot a usefully things here.”

“Almost finished then?” Molly asks.

“Oh yah, I just have to look over these rings for Jester, you know, and then that will be all of it but ahhhh- you have come over here? Is- is there something you need?” the thrill the magic gives him, seems to bear wearing off and Molly can see Caleb slowly receding back into his shell. And that simply won’t do.

He shrugs “Not particularly. This is fascinating, by the way.”

Caleb lowers his gaze to his spellbook. He twiddles and twists the pearl between his fingers and Molly tracks the movement because that’s fascinating too. Caleb’s long fingers rolling the small bead between them is truly something and he can feel the slight flush crawling up his neck.

“You have seen me identify objects before,,,” Caleb mutters.

“And I find it thrilling every time!” he says. He leans forward so his elbows are pressed into his knees. “I think it’s just wonderful, that. How you can learn all of that stuff just from looking at it for a few minutes. It’s very impressive!”

Caleb shrugs, but Molly spies a phantom of a smile touching the corner of his mouth and he finds himself beaming all the wider for it.

“Well you know, there is a bit more to it then that but it is ahhh,, nerd shit.”

“What I’ve learned from traveling with the lot of you terrible people is that nerd shit tends to be the shit that keeps us alive. It’s very useful shit. Don’t sell your shit short Caleb, it’s very good shit! Quality, even.” he says. Somewhere to the right of him, he can hear Jester cackling. He keeps his eyes and his smile trained on Caleb, who’s actually turned a bit to face him.

“Ha ha.” it’s not a laugh, not really. It more just the noise, but it’s so endearing that Molly’s insides squirm with delight at the sound. “I suppose you are right- about that at least.”

“You’d be surprised by how much I’m right about, actually.” Molly says.

This time Caleb does laugh, even if all it is a huff of air. “Mister Mollymauk.”

“Mister Caleb”

The pearl rolls between his thumb and forefinger. “Would you like learn a magic trick? I, you know, I have tried teaching Jester before, and umm, Beauregard but, they don’t, well, they really do not have the patience for this sort of thing.”

He cocks his head to the side. “And you think I do?”

“I have seen you mend your coat.” Caleb says, actually leveling his clear blue gaze on Molly, effectively pinning him in place. “That embroidery is your handy work, hmm? Something like that takes a lot of time.”

Molly draws back so that he’s sitting up straight. “Well as flattering as it is to know you keep eye on me.” Caleb flushes. “-I don’t think I’m quite clever enough to do what it is you do dear.”

Magic, at least, the magic Caleb does, seems to require a lot of reading, and reading has never really agreed with Mollymauk Tealeaf. It makes his eyes hurt and his whole brain revolt against him, can even give him a terrible headache if he forces himself to work at it for too long.

Caleb’s brows draw together, forming deep creases between his eyes. “It is not that hard.” he says.

Molly flashes him a tight smile. “Yes, but I’m not that smart.”

The wizard shuts his spellbook with a forceful snap that makes Molly’s tail jump and curl up behind him. “Come here, Mollymauk.” Caleb says, commands really, Molly thinks with a shiver. “I will not force you, if you do not wish, but do not withhold just because you think that you might not be clever enough. I will be the judge of that.”

“Well when you put it so nicely,,,” Molly says, praying to the Weaver that he sound relatively unaffected by whatever that was. He slides over so that he’s sitting next to Caleb, instead of across from him. “So, what will I be learning then?”

Caleb hesitates, but only for a moment before he opens his book back up, and shuffles over so that Molly can see the pages, balancing it on his knee.

“Something simple, I think.”

“Oh goody.”

Even the creak of the branches in the wind sounds ominous, which Molly thinks is rather ridiculous and painfully cliche. His blade, glowing with a warm, white light, is wrapped up in the tails of his coat to dull it’s radiance as Molly creeps along low in the brush. The Nein had decided, against Molly’s better judgement, decided to travel a few hours past sunset.

“The next town isn’t that far, guys.” Jester had told them, brandishing the map with the same ferocity with which she handles her sickle. “We’ve been on the road for daaaaaaaaaaays and my feet are getting all tired and gross from walking so much and I just want to sleep in a bed and not in the grass and wake up with like, bugs in my hair and stuff.”

So they’d marched on, and now they’re paying the price because not only is it a good couple of hour past sunset, but they’d been assaulted by some ruffians. Taking advantage of the exhausted state of the party, they’d managed to stop them, rob them, and make off with Jester’s haversack of holding. With so much of their valuable shit in that bag, they’d decided to give chase, and had gotten spread pretty thin in the processes. Which, isn’t such a bad thing, Molly’d been able to pick off a few of the bandits, spread thin themselves, quickly and quietly. But he’s worried about everyone else. If they were unlucky enough to run into more of the bastards then they could handle alone, with Jester possible very, very far away. That could make things a bit more sticky.

Of course, they’re all pretty capable, decently strong. And yet,,, Molly’s worried about some, specifically squishy members of their party.

He’ll- they’ll be fine.

He marches on deeper into the woods.

A bit of time later, the sound of muffled voices hit Molly’s ears. Not long after does he spy the flicker of firelight through the leaves, painting speckled shadows along forest floor.

Molly pauses a moment, tucking himself against a rotting old tree trunk. Peeking over the top of it he can just barely make out a group of darkened figured, hooting and hollering like idiots around a makeshift camp. Why do petty thieves always do that? Make a whole fucking ton of noise that gives away their position. Every single band of thieves he’s ever run into does it. It’s just not smart. Though, if they were smart enough to understand that they probably wouldn’t be out here robbing well seasoned mercenary groups, he thinks. He counts the shadows, or at least he tries to. The back lighting from the fire is fucking up his night vision but he thinks he sees four or five distinct individuals. Too many to take out alone.

Reaching into his pocket with his free hand, he pulls out a little piece of wire. Its difficult, harder with only one hand, but he manages to wrap the bit of copper around his finger and brings it up to his lips. He points out into the woods in the general direction he thinks he saw people running. “Found a group of them. Looks like five maybe? North. Just past that one rock that looks remarkably like a penis. Oh ! and you can reply to this message” he whispers into his fist.

Molly does this eight more time, hoping that if he casts a wide enough net he’ll be able to get in touch with at least some of the Nein. Between not knowing exactly where everyone is and the, frankly concerning, fizzle of the spell against his lips he not sure how many of them got the message. On the fourth time, he hears Jester’s cackling rattling around in his skull. It’s a horrible bizarre feeling that makes his skin tingle,and not even in the fun way.  On the sixth one he hears Beau’s exasperated “real fucking mature, man” and has to stifle a chuckle. On the last one, it’s Caleb’s voice ringing around in his skull.

“I see the rock you are talking about. oh- ja it does look like a dick.” He says. “I am making my way over to you now.”

Molly waits, one eye on the trees around him, one on the group of bandits, watching for any strange movement. Maybe one of them will come over here to take a piss. He could take them out nice and quite, and that would be one less shit head to deal with.

The bushes to his right rustle and Molly tightens his grip on his sword. Caleb comes sprinting out of the underbrush towards him, crouched low to the ground to avoid being spotted. Molly can’t even even get a word of greeting out before Caleb is suddenly upon him, hands reaching to curl around the lapel of his coat.

The wizard is positively beaming at him, his face cracked with a wide smile Molly has only ever seen him give Nott. His eyes are practically glowing, wide and excited and full of pride. He’s on Molly in an instant huddled against the rotten log alongside him and Molly is stunned.

“You cast message!” Caleb says, barely able to keep his voice to a stage whisper for the excitement. His hands come up, cupping Molly’s face between them and immediately the teifling feels himself start to color. Thumbs rub over his cheeks, Caleb squishing his face between his calloused palms “You cast the spell, you did the thing that I showed you! Oh! I am so proud! I am so proud of you! You are brilliant Mollymauk. I could kiss you!”

Well, that makes Molly’s heart do all sorts of ill advised and complicated gymnastics in his chest.

He puts a shaking hand on Caleb’s knee. “Don’t say thing you don’t intent to follow through on, Mister Caleb.”

Brain seeming to have caught up with his mouth, Caleb pales, then flushes a deep scarlet. His hand stay cupped around Molly’s cheeks, though they do lessen they’re squeezing a bit. His gaze falls past Molly’s right shoulder. “I ahh- right. I was- well I got a little excited I suppose,,,”

“Happens to the best of us.” he gives Caleb leg a friendly jiggle “Your secret’s safe with me”

Caleb chuckles.

They don’t move. They’re still dreadfully, painfully close. Annoyingly, not close enough. He watches as Caleb’s gaze flickers back over to his face. Watches the way his sharp, ever curious blue eyes trace the curve of his palm where it’s pressed into Molly cheek, all the way down to the corner of his mouth. He leans in.

The center of gravity suddenly shifts and Mollymauk Tealeaf finds himself crashing against Caleb’s warm mouth. Its quick, but it’s everything.

Caleb presses his lips firmly to Mollymauk’s for a brief moment, pulling him in with the fingers still curved around his jaw. Molly gasps, fingers tightening around the fabric of Caleb’s pant leg. He lets his eyes flutter shut. And then the warmth is gone and Molly opens his eyes to see the wizard staring at him, wide eyed and flushed. Still his hands don’t move from Molly’s face.

“I should not have done that. I-”

Molly brings his other hand up to the back of Caleb’s neck and pulls him forward. Their lips meet again and Molly can taste the crackle of arcane power that lingers on them. It shoots a thrill down his spine. The hand on Caleb’s knee tangles into the coarse fur lining of his coat and Molly sigh, deep and wanting against the other man’s mouth.

To his glorious surprise, Caleb responds in kind. His hands begin to move, one sliding down his face to rest at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, those long, scholarly fingers spanning across his throat, making Molly shiver. The other tangles into the short curls at the back of his neck, drawing Molly even closer.

Molly breaths through the kiss, eyes shut tight as he focuses on the feeling. Of dry and ragged ruined lips against his own. On the slight scratch of stubble against his chin and the rough pads of Caleb’s fingers on his skin. He feels exactly like he looks, coarse and rough around the edges. Nothing like the soft, sweet smelling hired company that Molly’s used to. He finds he likes this much better. The earthy smell that clings to weather battered skin, mixed in with faint hints of whatever spell components line Caleb’s pockets. Licorice and molasses.

Caleb sighs against him, tilting his head for a better angle.  Molly puts all other thoughts out of his head. Forgets about the bandits at his back, and his friends stomping through the underbrush. Even forgets about their stole bag of good. He put his facilities to better use, memorizing the shape and heat of Caleb’s lips against his own

Molly parts his lips and prods at Caleb’s lower lip with the twin prongs of his forked tongue, makes a soft sound of pleasure as Caleb’s fingers tighten in his hair. Caleb jumps under his hands, pulling away. He desperately wants to follow, but Molly let him go, keeping fingers folded against the lapels of his coat, half  to keep himself grounded, half to keep Caleb from bolting before he can find his voice again.

“Don’t you dare apologize for that.” He crooks out after a moment.

Caleb stares at him with blown out blue eyes. He swallows, runs a hand across his jaw. His fingers linger against his lips. “Ja- okay,,, That was ahhh-”

“That was good.” Molly assures him, stroking fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Caleb nods, looking a little unsure. “Gut, ja. You know, uhh maybe we should- should, you know- maybe we could do that again, sometime. But I think we should probably take care of those bandits first.”

A smile splits Molly’s face. “Think we can take them, just the two of us?

“No.” Caleb hands come back around to cup his cheeks, then slip down, coming  to rest against the front of Molly’s coat “We are pretty tough, but you said that there were at least five of them. I do not want us taking any unnecessary risks.” he starts fidgeting with Molly’s coat, adjusting it on his shoulder and smoothing out the silk with his hands. “Clever boy.” Molly says, fondness laced into his words.

Caleb doesn’t meet his gaze, but he does smile.

The sound of twigs snapping catch their attention and moments later Beau comes slinking out of the bushes, a new bruise swelling up over her eye. Caleb hands fall away. Molly keeps fingers pressed lightly against the side of his knee.

“That’s a good look on you.” he says, once Beau is close enough.

“Thanks asshole.” Beau wedges her way between the two of them, elbowing Molly in the stomach as she does.  

He whizzes out a pained laugh.

#critical role #widomauk #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #request closed #midnigtwrites #this is soft yall

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Please more of artist Jamie!!! So beautiful!

Follow up to this story

--

January 1976

 Elias Pound had known Mandy MacKenzie for all of fourmonths – but he already knew he’d gladly follow her anywhere.

 So when she proposed they spend an evening at a downtownart gallery – in a neighborhood she called SoHo (“But we have one of those inLondon,” he had protested – and she’d replied “This one has a capitalized H,silly goose”) – he immediately leapt at the chance to be with her. Even if itmeant following her on the subway (“Don’t you have one of those in London?” shehad teased), gaping at the half-beautiful, half-terrifying graffiti scrawledover the walls and seats and windows and exterior of the cars, stepping around thegarbage and panhandlers on the platform at Times Square and Grand Central whenthey transferred from the 1 to the Shuttle and then to the 6.

 Once above ground at Spring Street, he thought she’d madea mistake – for the neighborhood appeared to be stone dead, even at arelatively early hour.

 “Where is everybody?” Elias dug his hands into thepockets of his peacoat, pulse rocketing from a mix of fear and sheer joy asMandy slipped her mitten-clad hand through his arm.

 “Barely anyone lives down here,” she explained, lookingboth ways before stepping off the curb. “It’s mostly artists and galleries.They love the big old buildings – fantastic twenty-foot ceilings in the rooms.”

 A cab appeared out of nowhere, horn blaring. Mandy tuggedhis arm to stop – and the cab squealed by, the driver hurling obscenities.Calmly Mandy kept walking down Broadway, turning right onto Prince Street.

 “And how did you find out about this exhibit?”

 His eyes darted over to her; she just smiled and keptwalking.

 “Here we are!”

 And they were – for in the first sign of life since they’dleft the subway, a line snaked out of an industrial metal doorway and aroundthe corner. Elias could only see a tiny sign above the door – The Broch Gallery – and a burly man outfront, clearly the security guard.

 Elias steeled himself to wait outside in the cold –regretting he hadn’t brought his knit cap – but then Mandy marched right up tothe man at the door.

 “Hi – I’m Mandy MacKenzie,” she explained. “Elias here ismy guest. I should be on the list.”

 The man fished in his pocket and produced an index card;he squinted, looked up at Mandy, and nodded. “All set, miss. Coat check is onyour left.”

 “Thank you,” she smiled sweetly, taking Elias’ hand anddrawing him inside.

 A woman wearing black took their coats and handed themeach a small booklet. Before Elias could even glance at the cover, they turned anothercorner and came face-to-face with a panel of text on a gallery wall.

 JAMES FRASER: ART WITHOUT LIMIT, 1920-1975 – A RETROSPECTIVE

 Elias could see several dozen people milling around in atleast six adjacent galleries, sipping champagne, studying the walls intently.

 “Who’s James Fraser?” he whispered.

 Mandy looped her arm through his. “Someone I’ve admiredmy whole life. You’ll see why. Don’t bother reading the labels – I’ll be yourtour guide.”

 And she was.

 The first gallery displayed small pastels and watercolorsof New York City street scenes in the 1920s – old cars rumbling down widestreets, women in elegant dresses pushing old-fashioned baby carriages onsidewalks, children playing tag on a gorgeous summer day in Prospect Park, ruddy-facedmen toasting their joy in cavernous long-gone beer halls.

 These were interspersed with photographs. A combinationof society portraits and even more street scenes.

 “Is that the Flatiron Building?”

 “It is. Can you believe that it wasn’t yet twenty years oldwhen this photograph was taken? Even then it was still so controversial.”

 Elias tilted his head at a series of three of formal,posed paintings of different women. “Who were they?”

 “Wives of wealthy businessmen and lawyers.” Mandy noddeda thank-you to the woman who offered a tray of snacks. “He made a good livingas a portraitist. Back in the day, that was a way for men to show how muchmoney they had – by paying an artist to paint their wives. Even after photographybecame popular – they still insisted on it.”

 Elias chewed thoughtfully. “I’d think it still is a wayfor men to show how much money they have. Someone I went to school with – I rememberthere was a painting of his mother in the house. I never quite understood it.”

 Mandy led them to the next room – and Elias’ jaw justabout dropped.

 It was another portrait – but so radically different fromwhat he had just seen.

 A beautiful woman – her curly brown hair rioting aroundher ethereal face – wearing a dress that could only be described as anincredible shade of electric blue. Surrounded by sumptuous plants andblue-and-white Chinese porcelain. Strongly, confidently facing the viewer – a hintof mischief evident on her perfect lips.

 “It’s incredible, isn’t it?” Mandy squeezed his hand. “Thiswas the first work that truly got him noticed.”

 “I should think so,” Elias breathed. “She’s – she’s so alive. So much more alive and presentthan in what we saw in the other room.”

 “The artistry is without comparison,” Mandy agreed. “But thescandal that surrounded the painting made it even more notorious.”

 “Scandal? What scandal? It’s a modest dress.”

 She shook her head. “This portrait was commissioned byFrank Randall, on the occasion of his wife Claire’s thirtieth birthday, in thefall of 1925.”

 “Frank Randall? As in Randall Steel? That Randall?”

 “The same,” she grinned. “Anyway – Claire Randall wasvery famous in New York society at the time for throwing very grand parties attheir townhouse on East Sixty-Eighth Street. Somehow James Fraser got aninvitation to one of their parties – and once Frank learned he was an artist,he commissioned him to paint Claire.”

 “I don’t see what’s so scandalous about that.”

 Mandy smirked above her flute of champagne. “Well – you canimagine that Claire got to know the artist quite well as he painted herportrait. So well that when the painting was delivered to the Randalltownhouse, she told Frank she was leaving him, packed her bags, and moved inwith Jamie.”

 “Oh my God!” Elias exclaimed. “Did she take the portraitwith her?”

 “Of course! It hung in Jamie’s studio on East TwelfthStreet for many years.”

 “And did they stay together?”

 Mandy set down her empty flute on a passing waiter’s tray,and took Elias’ half-empty flute. “See for yourself.”

 The next gallery was full of Claire Randall. Oilpaintings of her draped in a Japanese kimono. Pastel drawings of her reclining nudein bed, surrounded by rumpled sheets. Striking, black-and-white photographs ofher hands forming different shapes, and the curve of her spine, and the back ofher neck.

 “She was his muse,” Elias murmured.

 Mandy nodded. “My favorite is right over there.”

 It was a small photograph – just about as big as aletter-sized sheet of paper. At the bottom right of the frame was a reflectionof the old-style camera; at the middle of the frame was Claire caught mid-laugh;and peeking over her shoulder was a man – hair parted down one side, eyescreasing with laughter.

 “It’s called Joy;he took the photograph on their wedding day,” Mandy whispered. “In a publicbathroom at City Hall. Probably ten minutes after they exchanged vows.”

 Elias swallowed, his heart soaring at the explosion oflove and adoration captured so simply and elegantly in the photograph.

 “I’m surprised Randall gave her a divorce.”

 “Apparently she threatened to go to the papers with proofof all his affairs. My understanding is that it was settled quite quickly.”

 He wanted to know more – so very much more – but sheushered him into the next gallery.

 Here the artist’s style had clearly matured; thecityscapes were bolder in outline, brighter in their use of color.

 “He immigrated from Scotland as a very young man. But NewYork City has always been his home. His art documents what it’s like to livehere.”

 It did – subways, and buses, and even photographs ofairplanes landing at Kennedy or LaGuardia. Interspersed with photographs ofClaire as she got older – still smiling, now in color – in what appeared to bethe same East Twelfth Street studio.

 Before he knew it, they were in the last gallery. Whichheld a single artwork – another painting of Claire, posed almost identically asshe had been in the scandalous portrait. Surrounded by ferns, and Chineseporcelain; wearing another electric blue dress. Her face had more wrinkles, andher hair was gray – but she was still so vibrantly alive.

 Mandy withdrew her arm, but he didn’t realize she hadcompletely left his side until an unfamiliar voice spoke beside him.

 “Personally I prefer this one to the older one.”

 “I’d have to agree,” Elias remarked, turning to his newneighbor. “In fact – ”

 He froze.

 “It’s you,” he croaked.

 Claire Fraser – hair still curly after all these years,wearing a bright green dress and gorgeous silver jewelry – smiled.

 “It’s me,” she agreed. “Jamie painted this one to commemoratemy eightieth birthday last October – and, of course, the fiftieth anniversarysince the first one.”

 “Oh my God,” Elias breathed. “I – you – um, you are verybeautiful.”

 Then Mandy appeared, and slung an arm around Claire’sside. “Are you flirting with my grandma?”

 “Grandma?”

 “Come on, Mandy – you’ll make the poor man suffer a heartattack right here. I thought you told me you liked him.”

 Stupidly Elias stuck out one hand. “I’m Elias Pound.”

 Claire laughed. “Yes, I know. Mandy’s told us all aboutyou. You study engineering together, right?”

 “Always had a head for numbers, that one.” An older manappeared beside Claire, and kissed her cheek. “Just like our daughter – her Mam.God knows where she got that from.”

 Claire nodded at Elias. “Jamie, this is Elias.”

 Elias gulped. “H-hi,” he stammered.

 “Ach, no need to be shy, lad! I dinna bite.” Jamie Fraserheartily clapped Elias’ shoulder. “So – do ye like the paintings?”

 “Be honest,” Mandy teased.

 Elias cleared his throat. “I – um – yes. I’m stillgetting to know New York, and it’s so interesting to see how your workdocuments how the city has changed.”

 Jamie looked over at his granddaughter, one still-redeyebrow raised. “Very astute observation. Good that he appreciates things thataren’t numbers.”

 Mandy groaned. “Be nice, Grand-da. We go to museums allthe time – we get in for free with our student IDs.”

 Elias cleared his throat. “Also, sir, your work is one ofthe most honest and pure representations of love that I’ve ever seen. I – I can’tquite describe it, but I can just feelit pouring out of the frame. It makes my heart race. And that’s something thathasn’t changed – am I right?”

 Jamie and Claire and Mandy – she had Jamie’s eyes, herealized – looked at him, eyes wide. Quietly Mandy stepped forward to take hishand, squeezing it. So proud.

 “Thank you,” Jamie whispered, drawing Claire to his side.“You understand. She’s everything.”

 “Yes,” Elias agreed, looking at Mandy. “She is.” 

#;mod gotham #this is the best way i can think of to tell the rest of artist!jamie and claire's story #all of the artist aus

[01010010-posts]

— am I your future?

request: Okay but pls imagine the rk's meeting an ex-boyfriend of readers... Like theyre home alone for the day and a stranger comes up to the door and theyre like "whomst the fuck" and then he reveals he's readers ex and he wants to talk with them. Imagine these jealous nervous bois freaking the fuck out because AHHH READER USED TO BE IN LOVE WITH THIS OTHER GUY AND HOW HE'S H E R E... And like what if theyd heard of this ex and knew he was bad news (im sorry im a hoe for protective/jealous rks...)

is this ok?? you wanted jealous type & bad ex baby?? did i do this right??

Connor:

• “come on, ordering dessert too?” he giggles, drawing soothing circles on your back, his pupils dawdling with a dreamy gaze on your features, raptured in your love, basking in that soft tug of your mouth • you laugh, rolling your eyes “yes, dessert too” and then you mutter “since someone’s always eager to burn some calories with me” • he bites his lips, blushing a bit blue on the tip of his nose “that’s not fair at all, it’s your fault for being so cute” • “ahh now it’s my fault” you continue, his palms exploring your skin, lowering until they get in contact with your bottom • “yes, [name], it’s your fault” he murmurs near your lobe, teasing you to no end • well, no, there is an end • an end with a very distinct name and surname • “get a room, you two!” the shout of your ex between the chatter of your friends • ugh • your boyfriend goes rigid, a nervous titter, slightly embarrassed, touch lingering but devoid of the same warmth as before • perfect! just perfect! you think, you were busy having a moment but nooo of course they’re gonna ruin it • it was awkward enough when you got invited to this dinner without being told your ex was there too • but you didn’t imagine it would be this bad • don’t worry, as things can and will get worse • in fact, watch!, your last partner is slowly snaking their way to both of you, a sly grin on the face and two bottles of beer • they sit next to your precious robot, offering him to drink together, he politely refuses • “can’t taste? a shame!” that stupid no-good begins a wishy-washy speech, obviously tipsy, trying to get a reaction, probably wanting a fight • they do strike a nerve with you tho and you start tapping your nails on the marble table • he notices, analyzing you from the corner of his lashes, his chords humming off and on, not paying attention • he tries, i swear, he tries resisting and being his usual collected self • but seeing you like this? fed up? distressed? casually checking your phone while he’s stuck listening such endless ramblings   • “um, sorry” he excuses himself, suddenly whisking you away from the room, hiding with you in the restroom • “what– what are you doing?” breath hitching you find yourself against the wall, trapped by his body pressed onto yours • “if your ex keeps talking I’m surely going to have a short circuit” • you snort, not expecting him to be so brash but welcoming his behaviour with a gentle cupping of his jaw • “besides” he kisses you “I was” another kiss “getting” kiss “kinda” again, a kiss “jealous” 

RK900:

• he’s been waiting for the whole week, finally, a day where you two can be alone, rest, cuddle, simply indulge in each other • he’s super happy about it, he can’t stop kissing you while you’re both playing some boring board game • i mean, it’s not boring since you know, he’s a super clever AI, he can switch on your competitive side in every match • the bell?? he looks in your eyes and you in his • “are we expecting someone?” he questions and you nod in disagreement • “I’ll go get the door” he plants a tiny peck on your forehead and leaves the couch • but as soon as you hear the voice of the person behind the (now open) door your blood freezes • “baby? it’s for you” his tone is neutral but he doesn’t move, effectively blocking the entrance • you reluctantly join him on the threshold and stare at your ex • “what do you want?” you lean onto your lover, a deadly mix of fear, bad memories and utter annoyance clouds your mind • but he’s not stupid, he picks it up the moment you speak, already angry at the fact that his afternoon was ruined by some random scum • actually, not random, that’s what makes him livid • it’s your fucking ex, you had feelings, you had sex, you had a relationship • all things that you have with him now • to say he’s jealous would be terribly kind • he’s almost denting the door jamb his hand is resting on • yep speaking of that, the other free one swiftly grabs you by your hip in a lovely grip, tender, sweet, how he is • the complete contrary of your ex btw • the only time he asked you about them you got tense for the whole night • and he felt so guilty about not being more careful and so mad with your last partner • “you’ve got yourself an android? wow, sunken so low?” • you close your lids for a second and sigh in exasperation, really? very predictable • “yeah, you’re right, he treats me nice and loves me, the bar’s sunken pretty low” • this dork can’t help but let a low and quick chuckle escapes his lips • the same that go onto yours, kissing you deeply, passionately, nearly leaving you gasping • he tilts your head, caressing your cheek, then turns to the person standing on the doorway again • “i’m sorry, as my partner said before, do you truly have business here?” • your thoughts still hazy, your ex about to speak but— • he closes the door in front of their face with a loud bang 

RK800-60:

• it’s a chilly summer evening, fresh breeze, a limpid sky, honestly the only thing to do is go out and enjoy detroit’s nightlife • plus, it’s your boyfriend we’re talking about, he’s the embodiment of having fun 24/24 h • you find a nice club, music not too loud but there nevertheless, if he wants he can go dancing while you’re sipping your drink • which is a thing that might or might not happen • he doesn’t want to leave you alone but gosh the beat is totally calling him • “hello, is this seat free?” • a familiar tone drills through your ears, you whip towards the sound • your ex • god, your ex • you briefly mentioned something about them to your darling but • “yes, it is” he smiles and replies, unaware of the situation • “oh but it’s you, [name]! how long has it been? six months?” • “more than that” • “seriously? time flies then!” • “you know this person, sweetie?” he half-whispers, his expression that of a lovesick puppy, already oddly getting the hint of something being wrong, probably because of your accelerated pulse he can feel with his fingers on your wrist • “y–yeah, it’s my ex—” • “so clumsy of you, [name], you should introduce me properly” • he’s dumb when he wants but not this time, his LED blaring red, fidgeting and moving closer to you, an arm around your shoulder, protecting you • “don’t worry, I can do that myself. nice to meet you, I’m [name]’s boyfriend.” • there was absolutely no need to but he did it anyway • he’s so nervous please excuse him • not only he’s jealous because he’s a champ in inferiority complex • but he’s also fuming? it’s pretty obvious how mean is this asshole you don’t have to tell him • “you’ve found someone else? thought our relationship left you quite heartbroken, but then again, you’ve always been the promiscuous type, haven’t you?” a snicker and there’s nothing after that • your android doesn’t hesitate and strikes a punch, perhaps putting too much force and fracturing their nose • he’s not even completely conscious about his action, he just felt the urge and did it, his LED slowly returning to yellow and then blue • “what the fuck—” your ex doesn’t get to finish the phrase, him grabbing the collar of their shirt, his fist feigning another hit and they put their hands to cover the face, scared, trembling • “don’t you dare approach [name] ever again, clear?” he grits through his teeth but there’s no response “I said, are we clear?” • after a feeble choked ‘yes’ he loosens the grasp, letting your old partner falling to the ground • he takes you home immediately, too pissed off to talk about what he did • he’s a bit scared you’ll scold him but there was no choice, believe him, he felt he had to • he spend the rest of the night cuddling and reassuring you

#DBH #dbh connor #connor x reader #RK900 x reader #RK800-60 x reader #RK800 x reader #connor #dbh RK900 #dbh RK800-60 #dbh RK800 #RK900 #RK800 #RK800-60 #detroit become human #headcanon #request #writing #self-insert #android #exes to exes #jealous cuties #bad news ex #nines #dbh nines #nines x reader #dbh nines x reader #dbh imagine