#they were the tide pods of millenials | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zephyrwynd · 4 months

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Rapid Fire No Nuance Takes in No Particular Order No I will not explain myself okay go:

The Percy Jackson show is not for Percy Jackson fans. It is for the pre-teens out there who felt the same way we did when we first picked up the books. It's not for you, you're not the target audience - YOU HAVE AGED OUT OF PERCY JACKSON. (And so have I, and I accept that.)

Nazi Appeasement and Israeli Government Appeasement are the same thing. If you support the IDF, guess what, you're a Nazi sympathizer. Cope.

Millenials - you're victims of your own consumerism, and none of you are unique. Your teenage years are behind you. Stop being a teenager, start parenting your illiterate child.

Gen Alpha - You're not hot shit either. Spell indubitably.

Gen Z - We're not so great ourselves, stop licking your parent's assholes and think for yourselves.

Boycotting the vote in 2024 is the stupidest thing Gen Z has ever thought of in the history of stupid things. And we ate Tide Pods.

LEARN TO ACCEPT YOUR HOBBIES ARE MAINSTREAM NOW - LETS LEAVE THE EDGY BULLSHIT IN 2012 THANKS - eh just a little bit of nuance here: if you're hopping onto trending stuff when you'd otherwise bully people who like that sort of thing... fuck you.

Artists!!!! Take a fucking compliment your constant rejection of praise and putting yourself down isn't flattering.

Teenagers - stop giggling incessantly when you're ordering food. It's okay to be nervous but trust me, I don't give half a fuck about your order.

Your age isn't an indication of my respect for you. Neither is your family status to me.

Christians - the fifth commandment doesn't mean you have the right to abuse your child. Child, the fifth commandment doesn't mean you have to take your parent's bullshit.

You don't need the latest anything. Consumerism is a lie. The iPhone 15 won't make you happy.

American liberalism (especially American white liberalism) is worse than the far-right - I will not elaborate.

Speaking of iPhones, status derived from material goods is a wack ass concept.

Sometimes, rarely, the beige aesthetic is genuinely pretty. Especially when it's correctly paired together with greys.

Tween spaces were so fun!! Especially tween girl spaces. Justice and Limited Too, all the dress up games... so much fun.

The bistrofication of fast food spaces is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life. Sucks the soul out of E V E R Y T H I N G.

Minecraft is not compelling at all and I love it. I love it so much.

Bazaars, open air markets, and food courts are really good social spaces.

Smoking/vaping in public spaces should be illegal. That said, bring back smoking cafés.

The Tesla Cybertruck looks raw as hell. That's all the praise I'll ever give it.

Okay, that's all I got.

#zephyr rambles #no nuance takes #just a whole lotta word vomit this was

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peridotsalien · 6 years

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I see a lot of millennials already shitting on gen z for the whole tide pod thing

Did y’all already forget about the fucking cinnamon challenge????

How about planking??????

And let’s not forget which generation started superwholock?????????

That’s right now sit down and shut the fuck up

#i cant believe were already doing this #did u already forget how shitty baby boomers made us feel #stop shitting on younger generations #theyll always be better than the one that came before them #THATS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO #now shut up and support them #real talk tho dont eat tide pods kids #food ment #ara.txt #tide pods #gen z #millenials #superwholock

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chirons-coochie · 3 years

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i find it funny how most demigods are currently millenials, so after annabeth teaches some swordfighting or some shit she’s gonna make an avocado toast and take a buzzfeed quiz because #girlboss and #adulting. pipers insta bio be like

wish i were at disney right now 💟writer🖋 doggo mom 🐶slytherin🧶vegan🌿and I might be an adult...or something 😂🤣

thalia getting led lights and posting a pic on facebook with the caption “got the tiktok lights🤪🤪”

PLEASE imagine the 7 getting into a fight with gen z on tiktok and then percy’s like “aren’t u the generation who ate tide pods🙄🙄” as if his nose bleed didn’t start the apocalypse.

#i was in the mood to slander millennials today #gen z is annoying but millennials are insufferable #this is the only time i will be defending gen z #anyway millennials why don't u go take another buzzfeed quiz or maybe get a job #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus

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killiansprincss · 4 years

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There needs to be an in between generation for the millennials and Gen Z because us older Gen Z have graduated college and finding it hard to get a job in this pandemic are riddled with debt with no idea how we will ever afford a house. The younger Gen Zs are still in school filming TikToks without a care in the world, a few years ago they were eating tide pods but now life for them is good. I’m always conflicted as I relate to ‘growing up as a Millenial’ Buzzfeed articles as well as Gen Z stuff

#gen z #millenials #rant #90s baby

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saturndivine · 4 years

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I just realized that gen z, millennials, boomers are explained by astrology. It just seems so strange, u know? I don’t 100% believe in astrology, but danggg this aspect is lowkey changing my perspective. Do u have any thoughts on each generation and their pluto signs?

they sure are anon, they sure are. and i have so many thoughts on this, as a gen z’er (95-2012) which pluto is in sagittarius, perfectly points out why were like this. the “tide pod” generation but also the genration that forms walk outs and protests gun laws (could have to do with our heavy aqaurius placements as well [uranus and/or neptune]). sagittarius is such a playful sign and pairing that with pluto is something special & unique as jupiter and pluto colliding just opens up a portal of higher thinking and deeper meaning and passion on another scale. comparing gen z to millenials (81-96), scorpio is in its home. theyre a little more serious and focused. in a way they prepared the world for the next generation by creating a fresh slate. it makes sense they were sort of the first generation to use memes to cope with their existence. but theyre so driven and keen on breaking down societal boundaries. (i could go on and on and on, basically i should just make a post)

fun fact: boomers pluto is in virgo, thats why they collectively think theyre right and are told by the scorpio generation to ‘shut up’ constantly. and thats why “okay boomer” would obviously be coined by the sag pluto generation.

#pluto

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halfdemondolphin · 5 years

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Generations as people:

Gen X: V privileged but they don’t realize it. Always buys the snacks. Has their shit together. Can be an asshole sometimes but they genuinely don’t realize it. Social butterfly. Watched reality TV and house hunting shows. Gets excited about home decor. Has a giant purse. Fills said purse with Advil, bandaids, tampons, granola bars, etc. Doesn’t understand memes. Still has a Backstreet Boys poster somewhere.

Millenial: A bit of a mess but we love them. Knows how to save their money. Cried during Love Simon. Passionate about way too many things. Needs to sleep. Would kill someone for a cup of coffee. Knows memes, just not as many as Gen Z. Wants “the old YouTube” back. Will fight Gen Z about which Disney Channel shows were the best. Blames capitalism for all their problems (because capitalism caused all their problems).

Gen Z: Tired and gay. Meme dealer to the Millenials. Somehow has all the bootlegs to everything. Quotes vines 24/7. Loves Brooklynn 99. Would definitely eat a Tide Pod. Says “Kill me” evey 5 minutes. Can’t sit in chairs properly. Inexplicably loves a mix of very good and very bad music. Smol and dehydrated. Entirely apathetic about how the world is ending, but cried when Club Penguin got shut down.

Baby boomers: Constantly complaining. Can tell some crazy stories from “when they were your age”. Doesn’t know how Snapchat works. Super nice, but every once in a while they’ll say something very questionable. The best cook. The worst driver. Will expose any of the other generations if you ask them to. Owns a record player. Takes too many pictures of people.

#gen z life #gen z memes #gen z mood #gen x vs millenials #gen z problems #gen xers #gen z #generation #gen x #baby boomers #generations as #millenials

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chaos-and-cookies · 4 years

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Gen z making fun of millenials is fucking hilarious cuz they're essentially making fun of every white person I've ever met, but theres a few things that make me realize that even us millennials have forgotten exactly WHY we're like this.

Like "adulting". I havent actually heard ppl complain about "adulting" in a long ass time but the reason millenials are so incompetent when it comes to adult tasks is because literally no one taught us this shit. We were the first gen to suffer thru major education cuts in funding, I was lucky enough to have a couple of home economic classes and wood shop classes in middle school but high school those classes didnt exist. There were some practical art classes like ceramics and wood shop classes but they were electives and art would lose funding more and more every year.

As children our parents gen were very concerned for us, they would fight for us, they saw we were getting such high work loads that we would literally be suffering back issues from carrying so much crap in our backpacks that they made roll around backpacks (essentially kid friendly luggage) so we wouldnt be ruining our backs as much. But once they learned we were becoming smarter than them thru all the standardized testing they put us thru they kinda turned their backs on us and that's where the lazy entitled bullshit remarks started coming thru.

As for all those wine jokes? Honestly idgi either. I realized ppl were making wine to be out an entire personality trait too a few years ago and I also think it's kinda sad and ridiculous but white women have been making liking wine into a personality trait long before us so I'm not rly gonna count that as a "millenial" thing but rather a "white suburban mom" thing.

Harry potter? Yeah those ppl need to actually read a different book not much else to say there. Especially since JK showed that she truly is a joke of a person.

Dumb language like "doggo" is just a result of the internet, we've had dumb language thru the internet for years, some just sticks around longer than others. Not much to say about that, it's just how language evolves now.

I didn't look too deep into the articles about this but I saw some screen shots from tiktok and like I'm sure theres more to talk about how gen z hates us or whatever but like the jokes about adulting made me realize that since we were the first to suffer thru school cuts and a bunch of bullshit thru our schooling, no one else BUT us understands WHY we were so grossly incompetent once we hit our 20s and why it was such a relateable joke for us. Gen Z probably figured that it was always like this and ur supposed to learn Adult skills from ur parents but...no, it hasnt always been like that. Like lbr look at Gen X and look at ur grandparents do u rly think ur grandparents had the patience to teach them shit??? Absolutely not lmao.

And now buzzfeed is just fanning the flames with these articles, having uptight white millenials who fit all these jokes say shit like "well I dont gotta listen to shit from the tide pod eaters" and like no man we gotta protect our younger sibling generation we can't turn against them cuz they got jokes and lbr, valid critiques. If anyone should know about the BS gen z is going thru its us millenials who did all this shit first so we have no room for turning our back on them. I just hope ppl realize this sooner than later cuz we dont need more generational divides than we already have.

#sorry this got long but i had some Thots.

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740parkhq · 4 years

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* lawless paparazzi flashed photos of a 1961 ferrari 250 gt california spider pulling into the sparkling gates of quincy park , indicating that camilla of the prosperous kerby lineage has returned home . college ended for the transgender nb in 2017 , but they’re already flourishing in their field , proclaiming that their bachelor's degree in fashion design is being put to prolific use . the general public may be unworldly enough to believe that their accomplishments were earned honestly , but the people of new york city are painstakingly aware that it’s impossible to snag a top paying position as a fashion designer right out of university . the family’s been tormented with a well - known rumor that they fabricate news stories in service of their own agenda for years , so it was news to no one when the kerbys made local headlines claiming the only reason their self - absorbed progeny’s career is what it is because they have found a way to silence all the claims of camilla stealing other artists’ work . marie antoinette has done a splendid job of keeping the bloodline’s furtive truths confidential , but their reputation of being fun & gaining a postgrad inheritance of $450m hasn’t been enough to cease the counter blast from new york’s angry civilians . if they’re not heedful , not even quincy park’s sturdy golden gates will be capable of keeping out the city’s vengeance . ( indya moore , 25 , the opulent . )

henry here with my second muse — camilla !! as alway yall can reach me here or over @ discord @ a hundred years rick and morty#9146 !!

STATS —

content warning for: /

name: camilla vivien kerby

nickname: camilla

titles: marie antoinette

age & dob: 15th march 1994 ( twenty - five )

zodiac: pisces sun / taurus moon / leo rising

gender id: transgender nonbinary

pronouns: they/them

sexual & romantic orientation: bisexual biromantic

mbti: esfp-t

enneagram: 2w3 7w8 8w9 ( the free spirit )

temperament: sanguine-melancholic

more stats ( HERE . )

BLURB —

extravagant rococo ideals and values flying in stuffy new english brownstones. new money midwestern bourgeoisie encroaching on a kingdom filled with waspy stalwarts of the old vanguard. ennui in the flavour of unending listlessness in a city that never sleeps and never changes. the banality of morality, of existence, of everything and anything. romanticism to fill the gap, romanticism to survive, romanticism to make it all mean something—and never mind the tragedy at the end of the chapter. opulence at the cost of authenticity, hedonism in search of an identity. always forgetting people, never forgetting stories.

HISTORY —

ever since the mid-19th century, the pulitzer family consolidated news in the midwestern region of the united states. they were wielders of the truth and proud journalists, dedicating a great deal of their money to the polish of their craft. unfortunately, in a capitalist system, money wins out and they were soon left beggared by their commitment to their integrity. it wasn’t until the 1950s that they experienced a resurgence through the help of a wily businessman who married into the family and used the prestige of the name to build a profitable news empire, building onto the foundations that was set and setting forth these new innovations.

these new innovations were less than popular, but it was very profitable: camilla’s grandfather pandered to populism and demagoguery, splashing front pages with sensational headlines and less-than-truthful speculation about certain personages. they worked closely with government agencies to shape the narrative in the midwest, engineering much of the red scare during the cold war. soon, the pulitzers themselves began to espouse much of the politics that was being peddled by their papers.

with their influence cemented, the pulitzer family at the ending of the 20th century wanted to expand their empire and decided to break into new england, a veritable fortress populated by well-established newspapers such as the nytimes, wapo, and wsj. although their fortune was considerable, it wasn’t enough to combat the foundation that the establishment papers have built—so they began to look for allies. they found it in multi-billionaire marcos edwin kerby.

and so they peddled off a daughter and a position at their company in exchange for substantial funding. the union, though not an overly joyous one, was one that was built on mutual respect for one another. lucy genevieve and marcos edwin were frank with one another: two children and then they’d be free to do whoever they want, an open marriage that resolved much of their issues and led to a happier-than-most upbringing for the two children they had, even if it was a bit unorthodox at the time.

camilla was born into this setting. the younger of the two, there was never really any expectation on them to pick up a career in news—which they didn’t resent as they found the politics and dynamics of it despicable, thinking that the company was a toxic presence in the political landscape. however, they kept their opinion to themself and kept their mouth shut, not wanting to cross their parents for fear of stoking their anger and becoming disinherited.

their passion, instead, was drawn to the arts. they were very artistic and would often scribble cartoons and the like—but their true love was fashion design. they fell in love with the designs of christian lacroix and dolce & gabbana, the extravagant clothes of the two fashion houses falling in line with their own personal aesthetics. it wasn’t long before they themself tried their hand at fashion design, and they found they had a knack for it.

with their father’s social manoeuvring, they launched their first show at the tender age of twenty-one while still in college. their collection was hailed as one of the best of the season and they were branded as a rising star in the world of fashion.

however, when next season came, they found that the pressure had got to them: they were blocked as what to design and, as the deadline day came nearer and nearer, the panic made them shut down even more. this led them to stealing a fellow student’s designs and showing them off as their own. of course, since they copied it wholesale, the plagiarism was blatant, but due to their family’s influence, the story was suppressed and camilla was now confirmed to be a genuine landmark moment in the world of fashion.

though they still make some of their designs, they find it easier to copy and modify to their heart’s content. at first, they excused themself saying it was only nerves; but as time passed, they had to admit that it was the lifestyle of constant partying that distracted them, taking up precious time that they could have put into working instead. camilla would often be seen at a club, luxuriating with fellow sybarites, and never minding the time. when time to sew up designs came, they’d resort to stealing and modifying others’ work, not wanting to cut down the time for their hedonism.

PERSONALITY —

electric dreams for a twenty-first century virtual teen, watching period dramas as a personality trait, watching marie antoinette (2006) and only noticing the pretty dresses, thinking you’re better than your family for being liberal and thinking you’re better than other liberals you’re not, like, an extremist or anything, actually being politically apathetic bc you couldn’t be fucked to follow politics, not knowing how much a banana costs, not knowing if you’re a millenial or a gen z and not even knowing the difference between the two, wouldn’t eat a tide pod but has that characteristic gen z despair at the experience of life itself, why bother doing anything when the world’s going to end anyways? might as well eat cake!

PARALLELS —

marion kerby (topper), marie antoinette (marie antoinette 2006), francis abernathy (the secret history), lord henry wotton (the picture of dorian grey), roman roy (succession), oscar wilde (real life: 19th century)

WANTED CONNECTIONS —

content warnings for: drug mentions

best friends , friends , someone they stole art from , party friends , druggie friends , drug dealer , drug buyers , trip sitter , art heaux friends , pretentious friends , fellow members of an art collective , book club friends , indie music friends , concert - going buddies , travel buddies , drinking buddies , hole - in - the - walls exploration buddies , someone they go to museums with , lovers ( current & former ) , online friends , associates of their family +++ their older bro i have yet to sent the wc of !

#york.intro #➳ 𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒 𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖐𝖊 ♛ character study #drugs mention

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witch-of-the-west-writes · 5 years

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Lol had been a Bargain Bin shopper most of her life: A Hand-Me-Downer, a Leaser, A Second- or Third- or even Fourth-Hander. A Make-Doer.

Like most of her generation, she owned very little: She had a two room apartment she rented on a week-by-week basis, and her clothes were from a community share program, but on her 21st birthday everything changed: She finally got to Own something.

Her friends had clubbed together for it, presenting her with the gift voucher as they giggled and jostled in the little corner of the VR Bar. Some of them had laughed when Lol had chosen the venue, but most of them knew she liked Old Fashioned things, was fascinated by Vintage stuff. Her grandparents were Generation Z, and she loved to listen to their stories: About how they drove around in cars that damaged the environment and argued about ships on Tumblr. They could both remember where they were when Trump was assassinated by the crazed man with the assault rifle: Grandma Chardonnay had been Vaping with her BFFs and her Grandpa Diesel had been trying to buy Tide Pods to eat for Youtube. Luckily for Lol he hadn't been successful, or Diesel wouldn't have gotten Chardonnay pregnant the following week behind in the science labs at school and her father, Slytherin, would never have been born.

They were stuffy, her grandparents, and preoccupied with social media, but she loved them anyway and went round to their room every other day to help change her grandmother’s belly bar.

Lol knew they'd contributed too, despite their meagre income, and when the time came to make her purchase she invited them to come along.

The stable was downmarket, but Lol didn't mind. She would probably have felt self-conscious in one of the more expensive ones, and the old man in the lab coat treated her as if she were a visiting celebrity anyway. Nice old fashioned Millenial manners.

He took a look at the value of the voucher and fussed around on his First Generation Apple Ring before escorting her past the pricier merchandise to somewhere about halfway down.

“Here - these should be in your price range. We have Cismale here, Cisfemale there. No Trans or Nonbinary I'm afraid - they're back in the Designer section.”

Lol didn't mind - the Cis’s were quite pretty anyway, throngs of them milling around in every shade from Midnight to Milk. Many of them were from the poverty line, but they were in good shape nevertheless.

“They're all Consensual, yes?” she asked.

She'd heard Stories….

“Oh yes!” said the salesman. “You're welcome to check their paperwork. This is their dream.”

She chose a Cismale with pale skin and gentle brown eyes. He had some scars and a slight paunch, which explained why he was mid-range, but his tattoos were pretty.

“Wonderful!” said the salesman. “And for the other half?”

Lol chose a handsome grey to compliment her Cismale’s white skin and was taken off to sign consent forms and Ownership Agreements whilst the bonesaws sprang into life.

“Would you like to wait, or come back in an hour?” the salesman asked her.

“I'd like to wait,” said Lol. “Is it okay if I look around?”

She strolled the aisles of the Merperson section while she waited - the Readymades and the BuildYourOwns. They were pretty, but not her thing, and far too common. Nor were the labs where the hybrids and demons were being bred. Those were for the kinksters loitering around, with their gimp-masks and dog collars, holding their chains and wearing t-shirts saying Vore Me!

A custom-made Centaur was much classier.

#writing #centaur #dream

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littleredroseonthevalley · 6 years

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Mary Magdalene

Or, The Unrepentant Sinner

Summary: The Duchess makes a social call to a new friend and they discuss the unsavory life of an exposed girl thrown into British high society.

Rating: M - Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.

Words: 1525

Notes: So, here we are. This time I swear to the Lord above it is going to be a one-shot. You hear me, God? One-shot.

And if you thought that eating Tide pods is a post-Millenial thing, let me introduce you to Goethe. The coolest thing an European aristocratic youth could do in 1799 was to kill themselves over unrequited love. Or ‘political despair’, whatever that is.

Enjoy! Pero no mucho.

(I’m tagging @lizeboredom just because. Sue me.)

“The world’s delight is sweet and lovely, its way of life is soft and adorned. For the world’s allurements I burn willingly - I’ll not shun their voluptuousness.”

~ Carmina Burana (XIII Century)

“Where were we, again?” An older lady takes a cup of tea sitting on the coffee table and brings to her lips.

The woman was absolutely stunning, despite going on years and the weight of a viduity, with a fair, smooth complexion, pale skin that seems to have never seen a working day in her life and a curly, black hair fashionably styled on the top of her head.

“You were telling me about the time you arrived at the house of your natural father, Your Grace.” Her companion responded.

“Of course.” The lady nods, reminded. “My sickly and horridly poor mother had only just died, after keeping my noble parentage hidden my entire life.

“I resent her over it to this day, as a life of a noble bastard is much superior than the living proof of the misdemeanors of a loose seamstress. But I must admit the woman had her use, as she had levered with my father to take me in upon her death.

“If not for that carefully worded, strategic delivered letter, I doubt I would be welcomed on the manor that warm summer afternoon. I would be just another orphan girl at the spike. My mother provided more dead than she ever did while alive.

“Good thing Vincent was never the kind to assert authority, too, bleeding heart like no other. Perhaps if he was, he would have thought to keep the bastard on her rightful place, but he clung on to an idea of family, and my arrival seemed to be the last straw for him to grasp.”

“Perhaps he thought it to be a blessing.” The interlocutor weighed. “A daughter that late in life! For a dying line, no less. Some families can only dream on being so fortunate.”

She chuckled dismissively. “If only I was a man, perhaps I would tend towards your line of thought. But no, I was no saving grace. Indeed, the late earl had to go to great lengths to assure my right of succession. Nevertheless, if nothing else, undeserving I was not.

“You know the law of the land. Women shall hold no property. It would not be so simple to solve like a simple letter to the Prince Regent, I had to work if I wanted my birthright to be recognized. And as soon as I stepped foot in Edgewater, I started assessing my assets.”

“You seem savvy for a peasant just off the hovels.” The companion comments.

A sombre look passes through the face of the Duchess. “Poverty is a cruel mistress. I lacked just about every gift one must have to prosper within the upper echelons of society, except for wit and determination. I would not return to the miserable life my mother bequeathed me. I was certain that while I breathed, I would fight.”

“And fight you did.” The other noted. “What about the rest of the family?”

“My grandmother, Dominique, was willing to go to great lengths to help me. She tried to convince me it was a labour of love, but for all her age, I was wiser. Her hatred against my stepmother knew no bounds, and the sentiment was reciprocate. She would be out on the streets if my father happened to pass. A sympathetic, and dependant, figure on the head of the family was a necessity.

“My greatest threat was my stepbrother. My actual brother, half-brother that is, had died the prior summer on a hunting accident. Ever since then, Edmund had been filling the position of heir to the estate, but the man was absolutely inadequate. No wit to speak of, nor charm, and a small dog passing as hair.

“If it was only him, it would be only too easy. No, the danger laid with my stepmother. Vincent had let his wife walk all over him for the better part of two decades by the time I arrived, Henrietta had a comfortable station at the manor and was not about to lose it all to me without a fight.”

“What about the Duke? How does he fit in with the story?” The conversationalist questioned.

“Yes, I am getting there.” The Duchess tattles slightly annoyed. “I met Tristan at my first gathering at the manor. By then, I was involved with our neighbour, Ernest Sinclaire. A handsome man, charming on occasion, shamelessly wealthy. His greatest flaw, however, was a pathological sense of sociability.”

The interlocutor chuckled. “Was he too talkative?”

The woman could not help but laugh at the notion. “Much the opposite. Sour like rotten passion fruit. Ernest could not be bothered to interact with his fellow human beings. If he was so inclined, you could count it to be an admonishment.”

“What makes him memorable, then?”

“Looking back, I believe his demeanour was more related to shyness than haughtiness. He had been orphaned at a young age and had no relatives or close acquaintances other than my father and grandmother. Moreover, as such, he was fun to tease.

“In fact, more than fun, it was incredible useful. Ernest and Tristan had an intense rivalry, probably over the fact that Ernest was young and handsome, two things the Duke intensely desired to be, while actually being loud and boisterous, traits the young landlord despised over any other.

“By showing favour to Ernest, I became all the more desirable to Tristan. By the end of that summer, I was engaged to the Duke, telling Ernest it was the designs of my family and I could not do a thing.”

“What did he do about that?” The other asks, with a sober tone, fitting to the subject.

“What all the young men of his time were doing.” She says, with a disconcerting coldness. “He killed himself. A shot to his head and a depressive journal explaining, in detail, what led him to the act. Just like in The Sorrows of Young Werther.”

“How ghastly!” The companion gasps.

The Duchess shrugs. “If he wished for death, he got his bullet’s worth. If you are so inclined to pity anyone, pity the living. For the dead, there is nothing to be done.”

Faced with the constrained silence of her companion, the noblewoman continues her tale: “Of course, for a will to come to fruition, someone has to die. My marriage was not enough.”

“You killed your father?” The companion inquired, taken aback.

“Of course not. Once married, I had fulfilled the designs of the earl’s will. I was the heir, and a Duchess, and so I had no hurry for him to die. But die he did.” The woman takes a sip from her tea. “Hunting accident, as fate has you. It was not in my best interest having my father dead. Henrietta, herself, was on a different mind.”

“But if you were recognized as heir and had fulfilled the conditions for inheritance, wouldn’t you stepmother be thrown on the streets upon viduity?” The conversationalist wonders. “Or did she believe to have in you an ally? A charitable, devout soul, if nothing else.”

“No, of course not. Henrietta was brash, not a mule. She thought she could question the will on court, on grounds that my father had another match in mind, and dead men don’t tell tales.” A small pause pass before the Duchess continues, “If it came to fail, I suspect she would try to pin the murder on me.”

“But she could not.” The interlocutor says with certainty and the Duchess hums her agreement. “What did you do?”

“Have you ever heard that between two people there are no secrets?” The noblewoman asks, an amused smile on her face. “Henrietta did not commit the murder herself. She put her child to do it, and he complied with her designs. But Edmund was a good Christian, he felt legitimately conflicted about the crime, and so he confessed his wretched emotions to a sympathetic ear.”

“You?”

She snorted. “God, no. He confided on his fiancée, Theresa Sutton. However, I would say it would have been better if he went straight to the constable. It was a careless decision, certainly, as the girl was ambitious and had a clear sight of how increasingly unfavourable that match was becoming. She had signed up to be a countess, after all, not some lukewarm relative of a Duchess-Consort.

“She bartered the information with me for my help on the marriage market. I set her up with some old-and-grey marquis, acquaintance of Tristan’s, who soon made of Theresa a wealthy, wealthy widow. My stepmother was hanged for orchestrating the murder of her husband and trying to usurp the title of a peer of the realm. Edmund was spared of such a fate, but was deported to Australia. The last I heard, though, was that he did not make it to the Cape.”

A spell of silence befell the two of them before the companion asks, “What of the Duke?”

“I was a dotting and dutiful wife to Tristan.” She hummed. “I was, indeed. I kept his properties flourishing, his bed warm and was a darling companion on every social engagement of his. I gave him two beautiful daughters and a healthy son. In all, I have been a bastion of propriety up until his untimely death.”

A sip of tea and a wicked smile, the Duchess whispers: “The lead I put on his food notwithstanding.”

The two of them chuckle darkly.

“But enough about me.” The Duchess say. “How about you, darling?”

#desire & decorum #ernest sinclaire #duke tristan richards #vincent of edgewater #edmund marlcaster #theresa sutton #henrietta of edgewater

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andrewgarfields · 5 years

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some dumb 13 year old gen z kid: *starts a dumb trend that goes viral for one day bc there were 10 other gen z kids dumb enough to think it was cool *

anyone over the age of 29: miLLENIALS ARE RUINING THIS COUNTRY WITH THEIR STUPIDITY THEYRE EATING TIDE PODS NOW

millenials:

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genz-kid · 6 years

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Okay so I know us Gen Z started the tide pod meme,,,,,but weren't millennials the ones who were eating them?

I’m pretty sure most of the reports of people actually eating them were actually teenagers, so unfortunately I think we can pretty safely say it was a Gen Z thing, but I mean millenials had the cinnamon challenge and about a million other stupid challenges when they were teenagers so even if this one is on our generation, it’s not like they can really judge us

That said, if you can find case of millenials eating tide pods, please send those links to me, that’s something I’d love to see

#mod answers

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witch-of-the-west-country · 6 years

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Had a really weird dream last night

So I wrote a short story about it.

The dream was even weirder, BTW...

Lol had been a Bargain Bin shopper most of her life: A Hand-Me-Downer, a Leaser, A Second- or Third- or even Fourth-Hander. A Make-Doer.

They were stuffy, her grandparents, and preoccupied with social media, but she loved them anyway and went round to their room every other day to help change her grandmother’s belly bar.

Lol knew they'd contributed too, despite their meagre income, and when the time came to make her purchase she invited them to come along.

He took a look at the value of the voucher and fussed around on his First Generation Apple Ring before escorting her past the pricier merchandise to somewhere about halfway down.

"Here - these should be in your price range. We have Cismale here, Cisfemale there. No Trans or Nonbinary I'm afraid - they're back in the Designer section.”

“They're all Consensual, yes?” she asked.

She'd heard Stories….

"Oh yes!” said the salesman. “You're welcome to check their paperwork. This is their dream.”

She chose a Cismale with pale skin and gentle brown eyes. He had some scars and a slight paunch, which explained why he was mid-range, but his tattoos were pretty.

“Wonderful!” said the salesman. “And for the other half?”

Lol chose a handsome grey to compliment her Cismale’s white skin and was taken off to sign consent forms and Ownership Agreements whilst the bonesaws sprang into life.

“Would you like to wait, or come back in an hour?” the salesman asked her.

"I'd like to wait,” said Lol. “Is it okay if I look around?”

A custom-made Centaur was much classier.

@kittenstorm @doctorboo82

#short fic #centaurs #designer pets #futuristic

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