Go off, Muse, of unhinged Achilles,
who cost the Greeks like so many Ls,
and yeeted countless souls of dank heroes
into Hades' big dark,
making their bodies into snack for doggos
and all kinds of birbs.*
Begin with the how Agamemnon--
CEO of men--
deadass canceled the main character.
*edit
4K notes
·
View notes
babygirl i have health problems that would make a grown man cry- yeah of course I'm still going to work what are you talking about
576 notes
·
View notes
things i’ve heard college students say pt. 29
-you may be into Sucky mpreg but some people believe the holocaust didn’t happen
-humans should have a mating season where we all congregate in a river once a year to find love like salmon
-granted, there is a difference between being a momma’s boy and being Normon Bates
-Only in a poli sci class would you get a picture of the live action winne the poo and Kim Jon un next to one another
-“get ready for the met gala with me!!” influencer vlogs showing up on my suggested as if I don’t make $10.73 an hour
-no way that dog had a blog, dogs can’t read
-in god we bust
-every guys wants to be a golden retriever boyfriend until they wake up with no balls
-graphic design majors are like the diet soda of the art world
-if i could choose between having a successful career and lying down i would choose lying down
-today’s graduation is sponsored by plan b
-going down on a woman and tying her fallopian tubes with my tongue like a cherry stem
-most of the world’s problems would be solved if more billionaires disappeared in submarines
-you come face to face with god at a 24 hour ihop
-she lemony on my snicket until there’s an unfortunate event
-took a shit in the gender neutral bathroom, call that a she/it
-the tornado dodged us cause someone told it that it had to pay a cover for every bar it destroyed
-can I have a cars 2-themed blowjob, please
-the best thing Taylor Swift has done recently is get some girls to consider that they may be the problem
-“I’M LITERALLY SO FERAL” no Ava you’re just drunk and white
325 notes
·
View notes
i love having trauma from an alarmingly young age because when I can't remember stuff from my childhood I get to play a game called "Is This Normal Memory Loss From Growing Up, Or Do I Have Severe Trauma-Induced Memory Repression?"
400 notes
·
View notes