#they put shorts section in my sub page!!! why!!! get this shit out of here or put them like the rest of the videos!! theyre so big on pc to

[tunglrsillyman]

becoming more of a boomer each time youtube makes a ui update

#Dev Talks #they put shorts section in my sub page!!! why!!! get this shit out of here or put them like the rest of the videos!! theyre so big on pc to #Sigh. 💥💥💥💥💥💥 #at least make the carousel small. why does it take over a third of the screen #💥💥💥💥💥💥

[animeheadcannoncentral]

NSFW ENJI (Endeavor) X READER ONESHOT

Business/CEO A/B/O AU - this just popped into my head and turned into a 10 Chapter fic you can read on Ao3: “Hidden Flowers”

Warnings: smut, Dom Enji, sub reader, rough sex, A/B/O dynamics, alpha Enji, omgega reader, alpha Toshinori, heat cycles, dirty talk

Words: 5k

(Y/N) checked her emails one final time, ensuring nothing new had come through in the last three minutes that needed her boss’s attention. She picked up the file she had organised for the day, shuffling the papers into a neat stack before rising to her feet, straightening out her clothes and marching towards the CEO’s office. She opened the door without knocking, an action that he had told her to forego many years ago, she was his secretary after all, if she had something urgent to tell him, there was no point in wasting time knocking on the door. And he also didn’t need to burden of someone knocking on his door fifty times a day. The red head was on the phone when she entered, this scene wasn’t uncommon, some days he scarcely got away from the damn thing.

Closing the door behind her, she walked up to his desk and placed the pile of papers down on his right before walking to a white board and started neatly writing out the day’s major meetings.

“I don’t care about the cost, how long will it take to get it up and running again?” Enji sighed into the phone as he noted down the time frame.

“Is there another company that can fix it faster?” she turned back and saw he was looking at her. He’d asked both her and the person on the other end of the call, he just knew she’d come up with a solution faster.

“Mack Plus have the best engineers, Trencher Co. will be quickest but they fixed that unit previously and it’s broken again, I would suggest Wheels Down Inc as nothing they’ve fixed has broken again and it will be fixed within the week” she spilled out, she’d read the email about the mining vehicle break down this morning and immediately looked at the data for previous break downs. The man nodded and wrote it down, whilst also rolling his eyes at whoever was on the other end of the call.

“(Y/N) will send through contact details for further correspondence with Wheels Down Inc, let me know once the machine’s operating again” and the CEO hung up.

“Fucking useless” Enji muttered as he started going through his emails, “got any good news?” he asked.

“Stocks are up again today?” she tried which resulted in a small smirk from him.

“And you only have one meeting currently locked in today as well, however it is with a major shipping company that we’ve been trying to create a deal with for the past five years” she frowned a little at the last part.

“I said good new (Y/N), not mediocre news” he sighed.

“It’s their new CEO, so I guess a new chance to make good impressions” she tried again.

“That’s why I’m putting you on the front line”

“I’ll do my best Sir” putting the whiteboard marker down and turning back to him.

“Have you found anything of use in Yagi’s background?” he asked as he started going through the files she had left on his desk.

“Nothing of particular use. The problem is he seems completely different to his father, since he’s taken leadership, the company has become heavily involved in charity work. Regardless of whether it was his intention or not, the shipping company has gained a huge amount of positive press. I found nothing on Yagi himself, the only thing you can really play into in this deal is the ‘make the world a better place’ because even after a deep dive on his history, I couldn’t find anything to suggest he wants anything else” she explained with a shrug.

“How do our eco stats look?” he questioned.

“Favourable, we’ve cut emissions by seventy-five percent with the new machine’s we’re using, and with the new sonar tech that’s been implemented we’ve reduced habitat loss due to our companies’ procedures by nearly ninety percent. The rest of the report is on page five” she was confident as he went through the papers and pulled out the report.

“Increase public profile” the red head raised an eyebrow at the short list of suggestions she had made.

“It can’t hurt Sir, becoming more involved with the local community could see a potential increase of upwards of twenty percent in sales”.

“At what cost?” he put the paper aside, knowing she would be able to give him a clearer answer than the document.

“Time, funding, man power” she was curt, the CEO didn’t like wishy washy explanations.

“The board won’t like that” it was a statement.

“Can’t make an omelette and all that” she shrugged and he eyed her. She had never been wrong when it came to giving suggestions or advice on what was best for the company. She would voice her opinion on occasion, when she knew she was completely in the right. It was one of the many reasons Enji kept her as his secretary and refused to promote her to a section manager, not to mention the ridiculous bonuses that he forked out to her at the end of each year for her work. She were too goddamn valuable, and unlike many of his employees, she wasn’t afraid of him. The alpha was used to people grovelling at his feet, begging and pleading for whatever it was that they wanted at the time, usually sex or money, even employment. Enji Todoroki was one of the strongest alpha’s out there, hell, he was so intoxicating some alphas had even begged him to use them. But she wasn’t like them, it was almost as if she couldn’t smell pheromones, he was almost convinced that she in fact couldn’t, going by the amount that he had released around her in the beginning to test her.

When he’d first met her, he was shocked by her professionalism, she didn’t seem to care that he was an alpha and she wasn’t deterred when he borderline threatened her during the job interview. Hell, he didn’t even know what her secondary gender was, her CV states that she’s a beta, but the way she acted sometimes, she could convince anyone she was born an alpha. She wouldn’t take shit from anyone, and she certainly wouldn’t let him dish it out to her either, or if he did, she’d give it straight back and usually be right, and always got away with it. It’s why he respected her so much and hadn’t tried to come onto her once, also because he was more attracted to submissives, and she were far from it. She took suppressants, that much he was sure off, she never smelled like anything, and she didn’t give off any scent at all, ever.

“When’s the meeting?” he asked.

“In thirty minutes” she said as she turned to leave.

“You better get to it then” he mused.

“You don’t have to tell me twice” she gave a small smile and then exited the room. She made her way down to the lobby of the building to greet Mr Yagi on his arrival, just in case he was early. And wouldn’t you know it, this ball of sunshine was always early. He walked through the front doors to the building not two minutes after she had walked out of the elevator. She lifted her shoulders, stood up straight and approached the man with confidence.

“Mr Yagi, I’m (Y/N), Mr Todoroki’s secretary, it’s an honour to meet you” she put on a bright smile upon reaching him and what must have been his secretary. It wasn’t until she reached them that she realised how god damn tall the man was in person. Sure, Enji was tall, but for some reason, this man’s height stuck out to her. And they were both businessmen, so how the fuck did they both luck out in the looks, smarts, height and muscles departments?! It just wasn’t fair. Forget about triple threat, these men were quadruple threats. They covered all fronts.

Then to her surprise, he actually offered her a hand to shake with a genuine smile.

“Thank you for greeting us, this is my secretary Izuku, we’re so glad Enji was kind enough to host this meeting” his voice was deep, but kind and polite as she shook his hand, referring to the greenette beside him. She glanced at the young man before returning her attention back to the alpha in front of her.

She had never met a business partner this kind-hearted before, the business world didn’t usually allow his kind to thrive, but here he was, the CEO of the world leading shipping company. Without even realising it her cheeks flushed a light shade of red and she felt her heart rate increase, and of course, her scent glands started aching as they tried to release pheromones. Luckily, her suppressants were working for now, but it was then that she caught his scent, everything went blurry for a second and she lost focus.

“Are you alright Ms (Y/N)?” he asked, gently stabilizing her by her shoulders. She cursed herself, why did her body have to react to an alpha now of all times?

“I’m so sorry, Mr Yagi, and (Y/N) is just fine” she smiled up at him, puffing out her chest a bit and stabilising her footing.

“Please, call me Toshinori” he corrected her and she was slightly stunned for a moment. Every single business partner she’d ever introduced had always treated her like trash on the side walk, scarcely giving her the time of day. She’d be lucky if she even got a grunt of acknowledgment from them.

“If you’d kindly follow me” she said and turned to lead the way. Taking the chance to scoff at herself and attempt to pull herself together, an attempt that miserably failed when Mr Yagi insisted on maintaining small talk then entire elevator ride. He was just being a human being, asking how her day was going, how long she’s been working at the company, if she enjoyed working here. She could feel her temperature rising with each question he asked, and pain started erupting in her abdomen.

“Please follow me” she said politely, stepping out of the elevator cursing herself, she was going into her heat early, and she was pretty damn sure it was because of the presence of this alpha. She guided the CEO and his secretary to an empty meeting room.

“Please wait in here for just a moment, Mr Todoroki will join you shortly” she said before closing the door. Her head was starting to spin and the pain was growing from annoying to uncomfortable ridiculously fast. She maintained her composure as she walked into her small office, quickly taking some pain killers with half a litre of water. She ruffled through her draws as she looked for her EpiPen, her heart skipping a beat when she couldn’t find it. She knew she had one here for emergencies. The omega let out a sigh of relief when her hand glided over it. Quickly removing the cap and injecting herself with more suppressors that would hopefully stop the effects of her early oncoming heat for at least the next few hours. She took three deep breaths before exiting her office and entering Enji’s.

As soon as the door opened, a wave of pheromones hit the CEO. His brow furrowed in anger. His employees knew better than to come to work during rutting or heat cycles, it decreased everyone’s productivity.

“Get the fuck out of…” his eyes had been fixed on the computer when he glanced at the intruder. “…(Y/N)?” he looked taken aback. There was no way she was an omega. She always held herself like an alpha, how the hell was this strong, independent woman a fucking omega? However, he couldn’t deny that her scent was causing blood to flow straight to his cock.

“But you’re not supposed to be off til next week” he went to check his calendar.

“I know, it’s come on early” she let out a stuttered sigh as the drugs finally started to set in.

“I’ve taken some emergency suppressors, my hormones should level out in the next minute or so. I um, Toshi… I mean, Mr Yagi and his secretary are in the meeting room” she shook her head at herself. It was then that everything clicked for Enji and a smile crossed his face as he rose from his seat.

“He’s sent you into an early heat, hasn’t he?” the alpha’s voice was low, but there was a hint of playfulness behind it. She ground her teeth, refusing to answer the question, instead choosing to look away. He approached her, a smirk still playing on his lips, instead of walking through the door, he shut it, as he caged her between his arms.

“You know better than to not respond when I ask you a question, omega” he let the work hang in the air, testing her boundaries. Her brow furrowed and she glared up at him.

“You don’t get to call me that” she growled at him, then noticing that he was purposely releasing pheromones to try and rile her up. If she hadn’t just shot herself up with enough suppressants for a week, she would probably have slick running down to her ankles by now. Her boss was unfairly attractive.

“Answer the question (Y/N)” he leaned close to whisper into her ear.

“So, what if he has?” she burst out, ducking out from under his arms and walking across the room, folding her arms, “All he did was smile at me and I lose control, what the fuck is wrong with me?” she sighed angrily rubbing her temples.

“When was the last time you properly went through a heat?” Enji asked her, she looked back at him to see a genuinely concerned face. When she had taken her mandatory time off for her mating cycle she never stopped responding to emails, most people wouldn’t touch their computers during the height of a mating cycle, it all became too much, but she was always online, which told him that she probably hadn’t let her body go through a normal cycle in a while.

“I don’t know, during high school, like eight or nine years ago” she shrugged and the CEO just blinked at her in shock.

“I had more important things on my mind” she shied away from his judging look.

“That’s still a long time” he pushed.

“It’s not like I had an alpha to help me through one!” she suddenly shouted at him, she stared him down for a moment before realising what she’d just said and who she had just said it to.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, that’s not your fault, nor something you should worry about, fuck I hate this” she muttered.

“(Y/N), be honest with me, have you ever been through a proper heat?” he asked, when she turned to him this time, there was nothing but concern in his face.

“No” she didn’t make eye contact with him, but she had no reason to lie to him. Enji hated how submissive she was being, this wasn’t her at all, while a dark part of him did want her begging for his cock, he hated seeing her looking so vulnerable, he wanted to protect her, to make her feel safe.

“Look, I’m going to be really selfish now, but if you think you can handle staying for the meeting then I could really use your help. If not, I’m also more than happy for you to go home. But you’re going home before lunch today either way and I strongly advise you don’t take any more suppressants” he paused for a moment, as if trying to word something correctly, “What I’m about to say, I’m saying as a friend, not your boss, if you need help getting through it, i can help you. But who knows, maybe you might actually be able to get his number and he can help you” the alpha growled slightly at that last part, admitting and acknowledging that he wasn’t the one to set off your heat. Although to be fair, he hadn’t purposefully released any pheromones around you since you had your job interview with him. The girl let out a sigh and composed herself, straightening out her shoulders.

“I’m staying for the meeting” he knew she would, “but I am not going through a full heat” she said firmly, walking past him.

“(Y/N)!” he was about to say more, but she had already walked out the door, heading towards the meeting room. She opened the door and put a smile on.

“So sorry to keep you waiting” she apologised.

“That’s quite alright” Toshinori smiled back at her, however he noticed that she was no longer producing the lovely pheromones that he knew he had set off. Was the girl taking suppressors? He was certain he had set off an early heat, that fact that she was supressing it frustrated him. He loved seeing a flustered omega, especially one who was normally kept together as this one appeared to be. She was going to pose a challenge, and Toshinori was going to have fun pulling her apart and turning her into his little slut. The thought had him half hard in his pants. This omega was going to belong to him, one way or another.

Enji followed her into the room. The two CEO’s shook hands and introduced themselves to each other before commencing the meeting. (Y/N) was a sharp as ever, handing Enji the correct documents when they came up in conversation and was able to provide any information when called upon. Izuku wasn’t as sharp as she was, but still maintained a professional standard and look about him, the boy certainly didn’t let the woman’s sheer dominance fluster him. The meeting went as well as it could have, they both signed a contract of partnership, so it went better than both parties were expecting. Seeing her in action just made Toshinori want her more. She was professional, sharp and confident, and he wanted to be the one to own her, to see her trembling underneath him, begging for his cock. Somehow, all four of them managed to remain professional throughout the entire meeting, there were no sly words with hidden meaning, and (Y/N) was thankful for that.

Enji Todoroki was never one to escort his guests out himself, it just wasn’t a thing that he did. So, he left the meeting as he usually would with a ‘pleasure doing business with you’, but he purposefully changed the wording on the following sentence ‘my secretary will get you anything you need before you go’. She burned holes into his back as he exited the room. She was going to kill him. The next morning’s headlines would read, ‘Secretary jailed for attempted murder of her boss’. She sighed, shaking her head slightly.

“Midoriya, go wait outside, I’ll be down shortly, I just need to go over a few things with (Y/N) before we leave” the tall blonde uttered to his secretary.

“Of course Sir” the boy said before he exited the room. Toshinori’s eyes didn’t leave (Y/N)’s, who still had her business face on. He couldn’t read her. This was going to make things more difficult. After seeing her in action, he wanted her even more, and without even realising it, his pheromones radiated off him. But she was acting as if she couldn’t sense them, which pissed him off.

“What can I help you with, Sir?” she asked, her tonne polite, but holding no emotion behind it. Unlike their first interaction where she put on a sweet, warm smile for him, she was bitterly cold now, purposely trying to shut him out.

“I don’t like corporate titles, I told you to call me by my first name” he sighed, rising form where he was sitting, she was going to be more of a challenge then he originally thought. That was fine, he was actually excited.

“Is there anything I can get you, Toshinori” she said softly, not removing herself from her seat as the man walked around the table removing something from his pocket. He handed the small piece of paper to her.

“You seem like a very professional woman, so I hope you don’t take offense to this, but here’s my number, I’d love to catch up for a coffee sometime” he said with a smile and she took the paper from him carefully, the man was letting off an absurd amount of pheromones which were causing her to literally burn off the suppressants she’d taken no more than two hours ago.

“I…uh…” she tried to respond, but the alpha gripped onto the side of her chair, leaning over her to whisper in her ear.

“Let me know if you need any help with your heat, something tells me you’ve never had an alpha look after you properly before” he growled lowly in his chest before pulling away and walking out of the room with a smirk on his face.

Once she finally recovered, she heaved herself out of the chair and found that her panties were completed soaked through, luckily it hadn’t yet soaked through to her actual pants yet. She made a quick dash to her office before closing the door behind her. She turned the internal heater on and grabbed the emergency blanket from the bottom draw, wrapping it around herself and hiding in a bundle under the desk with her laptop as she continued to work, hoping it would distract her from the slick pool that was growing around her cunt and the immense pain growing in her lower abdomen. At about three in the afternoon an email came into the inbox that needed the CEO’s immediate attention. She was too worn out by that stage to register that he had told her to go home and she probably shouldn’t be working at all. She flicked the email to him without a second thought.

Upon receiving said email, Enji’s brow furrowed, she should have been home by now. He quickly opened the door to his office just to check she had in fact gone home, letting out a low growl when he noticed her light was still on. He stormed across the corridor and opened the door, a wave of sickly sweet pheromones hitting him all at once. He was confused when he didn’t see her sitting at the desk, she had to be in the room, there was no way the place smelled this sweet without her being in there. He closed the door behind him and walked around the desk to find her nesting. His first thought was to yell at her for not listening to him and also for using the goddamn office to nest. But then he saw she was shaking as she tried to type out an email, it took a moment for her to noticed him crouching there looking at her incredulously.

“I told you to go home” he rumbled deeply, and she winced.

“I… I can’t walk” she admitted, refusing to make eye contact with him. Something burned inside him, obviously that alpha had said something to her to set her off again, and then just goddamn left her. It infuriated him, sure he’d done the same thing to plenty of omega’s before, but this was his…, no not his, this was (Y/N).

“I want you to send a message out to all staff working today and inform them that they can knock off” he said calmly. She was confused by the instruction, but took a minute to type out the message and sent it on his behalf.

“Now close the laptop and give it to me” he said gently, and she cautiously complied, handing him the laptop before he placed it on the desk over her.

“Come here” he motioned towards himself, and she went to move, but her eyes widened in panic and she returned to the way she was sitting, confusing the alpha who was doing everything in his power not to just grab her and knot her right there.

“If I move, it’s gonna run” she whispered, his face scrunched up in confusion for a second.

“What’s gonna…” he stopped short, she was worried about her slick. She really had never gone through her heat’s properly before, she was embarrassed by something that was normal, something that made him almost lose control and show her just how normal it was.

“That’s okay, it’s normal” he said, still offering his hand to her, she looked at him then, searching his eyes that were looking at her with kindness. There was no malicious intent behind them. She slowly reached for his hand and crawled out of her makeshift nest, pausing for a moment when slick gushed down her thigh, before continuing to crawl out from under the desk. Enji noticed she was clutching her stomach the entire time. She lifted her face up to look at him, she had tears in her eyes.

“Enji, can you please…” she paused trying to think things through, “can you please fuck me?” a tear rolled down her cheek when she said that and the alpha wasn’t’ sure if she was crying from the pain or from giving in. He unintentionally started releasing pheromones, having an omega so close to him, and especially considering that omega was clearly under a lot of stress, his instincts were taking over.

The omega couldn’t help herself when she caught his scent, she latched onto him, rubbing her face into his chest, taking in as much of it as possible. Seeing how well she responded to his pheromones, Enji started released them in waves and the little omega in his arms sighed and then started doing something he thought she’d ever do. She had split her legs over one of his muscled thighs and was rubbing herself on it. If he hadn’t been stiff before, he was definitely rock hard now. The omega was whimpering with each thrust of her hips, and soon enough, Enji could feel his pants becoming covered in her slick. He would never allow an omega to dry hump him like this, but she looked so goddamn perfect as she chased her orgasm on his thigh. He ran a hand through her hair, gently tilting her head back, forcing her to look up at him.

“Are you enjoying yourself? Little omega?” he asked lowly, she let out a moan then made eye contact with his stone-cold eyes, that screamed indifference.

“Please…” she whimpered, by the way she was shaking, he could tell she was close.

“Please what?” his eyes narrowed as he looked down at her.

“Can I p-please c-cum, alpha?” she begged, and something stirred in him, maybe she was a submissive after all. And as much as that excited him, he wasn’t going to be cruel to her right now, he had promised to help her after all. So many dirty things flooded into his head to respond with, but he wasn’t sure if they’d scare her off or turn her on. He decided teasing her was the best way to go.

“You’re so close already, and I haven’t even touched you” he mused, easily picking her up off his thigh and placing her in his lap, she let out a moan as she rubbed herself against his clothed erection.

“Good omegas look at their alphas when they cum” he whispered in her ear and then leant back into the chair, to watch her as she came undone. The girl did her best to look at the alpha as she rode out her orgasm, but her head titled back in euphoria at the height of her orgasm causing Enji to bite his lip to try and control himself. She was going to send him into an early rutt if he wasn’t careful. The girl was shaking as she came down from her high, however, her eyes widened slightly when she comprehended what she’d just done and she quickly looked away, causing Enji to smirk at her expression.

“Come now, you enjoyed yourself, didn’t you, (Y/N)?” he asked, gently grasping her chin and guiding her head to look at him.

“Yes, but…” she trailed off.

“But what?” he asked curious, although, the alpha was well aware of the answer, he just wanted to hear her say it.

“You’re my boss and I just, oh my god” she hid her face in his chest and he chuckled deeply.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m thoroughly enjoying this” he looked down at her to see her flash dagger eyes at him before she doubled over, whimpering in pain as she clutched her stomach.

“I can make the pain go away, you just have to ask” he whispered into her ear. She lost all normal sense as her instincts took over.

“Please fuck me, please alpha, I need your cock, use my cunt, please” she begged and a thrill rushed through Enji’s body.

“You’re so pretty when you beg” he trailed his hands down her body, hooking them under her thighs and lifting her up before easily manoeuvring her onto the desk. He rolled her pants and panties down to her ankles in one go, and was pleased to see that she had removed her shirt when he looked back up and was in the process of removing her bra, before laying down and displaying herself to him.

“Sir, please, I need your thick cock inside me, please fuck me” she begged again, looking him the eyes, on the verge on tears. The alpha released his hard cock from his restrictive clothing, stroking himself as he watched the omega writhe below him. It was a dream come true, seeing her beg for him like that, and it was taking his last piece of self-control not to dive in and fuck her immediately. He leant down over her, slapping his cock against her cunt, teasingly as he gently moved his hand to stroke her face, she nuzzled into his palm.

“Alpha, please, use me for your pleasure, I’m yours, please alpha, please” she begged again, attempting to thrust her hips upwards to gain any form of friction. Enji’s last fibre of constraint snapped, and with no warning, he thrust into the hilt and his omega let out a scream a pleasure. Even though this was her first time, there was enough slick pouring out of her cunt that his massive tool didn’t hurt her, it stretched her perfectly and hit all the right places as Enji started to thrust in and out of her cunt.

“Fuck… your cock… mhmm, feels so good, alpha, do whatever you want with me” she panted as he rammed into her. It was invitation Enji realised. He smirked as he gripped her throat with his free hand, and she let out a whine. Gently running her hand up and down his arm, encouraging to grip her neck tighter.

“Do you like that, little slut?” he whispered into her ear, and she nodded, her hips thrusting up to meet his.

“Good pets reply when they’re asked a question” he sneered, gripping her neck like a vice.

“Yes daddy… I love it when you choke me” she managed to wheeze out using the little oxygen that she had left in her lungs. Her words were nearly enough to send him over the edge.

“You’re such a filthy omega, I bet you’d do anything to please your alpha” he growled as he pulled his hand away from her throat, hooking one arm behind her back, the other under her thighs so he could lift her up. Her legs wound around his waist, arms hooking around his neck as he fucked up into her cunt, using gravity to enhance the angle.

“Mhm… anything to please you, anything, use me as your cock sleeve, I’ll be your cum dump, I want to satisfy you, please Enji” she moaned into his chest. This omega was going to be the death of him. She’d used his name, which meant that there was truth behind what she was saying. He could feel his knot starting to swell up.

“Fuck, you dirty whore, if you don’t stop talking like that, I’m going to knot you” he growled.

“But I mean it Sir, i need you to use me, I could keep your cock warm during long phone calls, mhmmm, you could come in here and fuck me whenever you wanted to, I need to pleasure you, please alpha” she whined.

“I bet you’d even let me fuck you in the middle of a meeting, wouldn’t you? Fuck. You’re mine. You’re my pretty little cum dump. You are mine, all mine” he growled possessively, thrusting deeply into her. It was enough to send her over the edge into an earth shattering orgasm, screaming his name as she clenched around his cock. He was patient and waited until she came down from her high.

“Alpha” she whispered in a sighed, he grunted, informed he was listening.

“Do you want to cum in my mouth or my ass?” she asked with a sly grin and he smirked, this omega had stamina, and the fact that she could keep up with him just made her that more attractive.

“All fours, face down, ass up” he ordered as he placed her on the ground. Oh and did she move quick for him.

“You’re such a perfect little omega for me” he cooed to her as he knelt down behind her, hotdogging her ass with his slick covered dick, using the slick build up to cover his knot.

“Please, use me alpha, I’m all yours” she begged.

“You’ve cum twice now, and you still want my cock. You greedy bitch” he growled, thrusting inside her back entrance, forcing his knot inside, scraping against her walls. The omega beneath him let out a muffled scream of pain.

“If it’s too much for you, I can take it out” he wasn’t being kind, he was teasing her as he fucked her ass. (Y/N) pulled her teeth from her arm and panted before responding.

“I’ll take your cock whenever you give it to me alpha. My perfect, handsome, strong alpha. I’ll give you anything, I’d do anything to please you. I belong to you” she moaned, it was enough to send him over the edge.

“Fuck (Y/N)” he muttered, with one deep thrust, he poured his seed into her ass with a guttural moan.

“Thank you alpha” the omega whispered as he slowly rotated her on his cock so she was facing him before picking her up and sitting down in the chair as they waited for his knot to shrink.

“You were so good for me” he cooed, continuing to whisper soft nothings into her ear as she leant against his chest.

#oneshots #writing #my fic #drabbles #enji thirst #todoroki enji smut #enji x reader #endeavour fanfic #endeavor #bnha endeavour #bnha #bnha fanfiction #all might #yagi toshinori #toshinori x reader #alpha beta omega #alpha and omega #my hero academia #smut #not safe fw

[hollypastl]

the disappearance of [REDACTED] ch.2

miya atsumu/reader

Summary: "MISSING: MIYA Y/N" It reads. Underneath is a picture of yourself. Age, height, weight. Everything important is listed. How embarrassing.

Genre: angst/mystery

Warnings: missing persons, time skip spoilers

Notes: crossposted on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/28726002/chapters/70468146#workskin

chapter two: you will live and die for them because that’s your way

Osamu is still as a statue as he processes what his brother’s just told him.

It doesn’t seem real.

“That doesn’t make any— No. I know you’re you and she’s her, but you two are…” He trails off and starts wiping down the bar again. It’s a nervous habit Osamu picked up sometime when he wasn’t watching. “I mean... last week she didn’t act like anything was—”

Atsumu is busy reeling from his brother almost(?) complimenting his relationship that he almost misses it. “Last week?”

He nods. “Yeah, the stall was packed at the Friday game… She jumped in and manned the register so the rest of us could work on finishing orders.”

“Last week, though? You’re positive?”

He nodded.

“You saw her?”

From your usual court side seats, you could hear shoes squeaking and players panting. The thirty second row just wasn’t the same. At the same time, watching the game from a birds eye view gave you a new perspective and appreciation.

You leaned forward and locked on to Sakusa for the serve that would start the set. Your cheek sunk into your hand as his serve shot almost straight into the floor if not for a quick save by Komori that he bounced with only a single arm.

Someone across the way whooped and your eyes darted side to side as the ball hopped in the air and the setter shot a quick toss through the air. Your eyes landed on the spiker it was hurtling towards. From this far away, it was impossible to see, but you knew Suna well enough. Right now he was probably thinking something like, ‘There’s a three man block in front of me, is there really any use in jumping? I’m not gonna land a point anyway, so I might as well conserve my energy.” Still, he leaped for all he was worth and dinked it with his freakishly long fingers at the last second.

“Woohoo!” You screeched. Ignoring the fans who turned around to frown at you. Understandable. Why were you sitting in the MSBY Black Jackals section and dressed in black and gold merch if you were gonna cheer for the other damn team? You glare right back at them and slurp on your empty drink. The action only reminds you that you’re kind of hungry.

Inunaki bumps it back up all the same. Not surprising considering how slow and weak dinks are, but you gasp and groan aloud with the rest of the fans when Atsumu immediately tries to dump the ball back over the net. The play is messy and his hands are easy to read. Suna springs back up and spikes it down before the two even have a chance to tussle over it.

The buzzer rings and the EJP Raijin are awarded the point.

“Now that’s a failure of a setter dump if I ever saw one. Not what you usually expect from a player like Miya.”

“He does seem to be off his game today— oh, and there it is. Coach Foster is subbing in another player.”

“It’s only the second set, and the Jackals did take the first. There’s plenty of time for him to cool off and get back on the court to show us some of his monster serves.”

The commentators switch to talking about the serving skills of the various players at today’s game, which you don’t bother to stick around for. You did come to see Atsumu, after all. No point in staying if he’s not on the court.

You gather your hair in a low ponytail and tie it back, put your jacket back on, and make sure you have your wallet and phone still. All secure.

The stadium isn’t one you’re used to, so you refer to the map in the concrete hallway. The exit closest to the station is the north one and you’re at the southeast. It’s only when you turn to go that you realize you don’t know whether to go left or right.

“Well, it is just a giant circle,” You mutter. “Doesn’t really matter which way.”

From further inside, you can hear the buzzer go off one, two three times, signaling the end of the set. “That was quick.” The halls flood immediately and you’re forced to slow down and trudge through, rather than hyperwalk like you usually would. This whole trip is turning out to be one inconvenience after another. Atsumu is off his game. You’re hungry. People in this crowd keep bumping into you.

“Hey lady, get in line like the rest of us.” One asshole grunts and you reflexively scowl at him and the five brats he’s with. It drops from your face. If you had to deal with five kids under the age of ten all by yourself, you’d be grumpy too.

“Sorry, m’bad.” Curious, (and still hungry) you check what it is they’re in line for. Immediately, you’re in a better mood. Skirting the line, you hop over the gate and swipe some onigiri right out of the display box.

“Oi! What the hell are you— Oh, [y/n].”

“Hey there, stranger! Fancy meeting you here.” In two massive, disgusting, and arguably impressive bites, you swallow the onigiri (which is in no way, bite sized) and pluck the baseball cap off his head.

“Hiii, welcome to Onigiri Miya, what can I get for you today?” You ask, pulling your ponytail through the hat and bumping your hip with Osamu’s. The old man isn’t all that disturbed by the abrupt change in cashier and prattles on a list of items long enough to feed a battalion. You’re quick to click it into the POS and nod your head to the order printer that’s situated further back in their makeshift workstation. “I’ve got this. Go do your thing.” He rubs his hat hair sheepishly. He wasn’t planning on taking it off today. "Here's your receipt, sir. Please pick up your order at the station to your left. Good afternoon, it’s lovely to have ya here at Onigiri Miya, whatcha cravin’?”

“That’s it? What else did she say? Where’d she go after? When did she leave?” Atsumu’s hands buried themselves in his hair, practically pulling it out by the roots.

“I don’t know! Um… The rush came after the second set, I think? N’she left right after. I assumed she just went back in ta watch the game!”

“But she didn’t say anything weird?”

“No! We were so busy I barely said two words to ‘er!” Osamu had never seen his brother look so frantic.

“I’m going back to the police.” He rasped out.

— — —

At the station, Detective Kano looks over your file.

CASE: Missing Persons

FULL NAME: Miya [y/n]

BIRTHPLACE: Sapporo

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Osaka

Looking at it plainly, the answer is clear. As much as his subordinate and your husband don’t want to believe it, you’ve left. Nobody took you or forced you. The reason could be anything. You got bored or felt stifled in your marriage, (it did say you two had gotten married at twenty. That’s awfully young to make a lifelong commitment) you met another man, (always a possibility) or it could be that you were running for your life from an abusive piece of shit. Your case wouldn’t be the first like that and nor would it be the last. He didn’t care how ‘worried’ your husband appeared to be. For all he knew, the bastard could just be worried about people finding out and it ending his career.

"Oi, Tanigashi.” He barked. The rookie’s head shot up. “We find any bodies in the past couple days?”

“Time frame?” She asked, already typing away.

“Last seen on Tuesday, the fourteenth”

“Male? Female? What else, ya gotta help me out here.”

“Twenty two year old female.”

She hummed. “Tourist?”

He shook his head.

“Is she a short emo meets Harajuku model typa person?” She sighed, turned the monitor in his direction.

He sighed. “Nope. Sorry fer wastin’ your time. Get back to work.”

“Detective?” The office secretary popped his head in the door. “The statements you ordered just came in. Should I print them out for you?”

“Yeah, thanks kid.” Kano heaved himself out of his seat and cracked his bones. Years on the force and keeping up with full contact Karate were starting to get to him. Maybe he should take his daughters advice and take up Tai Chi or Yoga.

He crinkles open a wrapper and pops the gum in his mouth, reading the evidence as it’s freshly warm off the machine.

The bank statements aren’t anything out of the ordinary. You’ve withdrawn everything from your personal account. The joint account has been left alone. He jots down a note. ‘Set financial alert for suspicious activity.’

This way he’ll know if one of you tries to remove the other from the account. Again, he noted that you hadn’t withdrawn anything from the joint. As his spouse, you were legally entitled to it. And with Atsumu’s fat check from three seasons of pro sports under his belt, it wasn’t like he would miss a little bit all that much.

If anything, it told the detective that you didn’t hate him. Had you wanted him to suffer, it would be easy to empty the accounts and leave him broke.

“Rule’s out abuse.” He mumbles. Unless you were afraid of retribution should he find you. Though with how thorough you were being, (phone left behind. bank account empty. social media untouched) something told him you didn’t have any plans to be found.

Kano sighs, flipping through more pages and organizing them as he goes.

“This just gets more and more complicated.” He stops. “Hey, kid. Where’s the health report?”

He paled, worried he had missed something. “Ummmmmmmmm.” His fingers click across his email. “Looks like the hospital needs a formal report before releasing any information. Sorry, I’ll get right on that.”

— — —

Tucked away behind more wealthy and more flashy neighborhoods, hidden and huddled by a ring of trees, the only way you could ever know the Miya household was there was if you had been there before.

Which you had.

Ducked below a hill off the main road, it’s a modest split level house which seemed a lot smaller when you were younger. Then again, it had been inhabited by both the boys, their mom, and all the people they attracted. Which happened to be a lot. Despite being more than a little rude, Atsumu and Osamu were always surrounded by people wanting to be their friend.

You park in the driveway and enter through the back door on the porch, which has been unlocked since you first started visiting when you were fifteen.

“Toyo! It’s [y/n]. You here?” You called, walking through the door. No answer.

You walked through the kitchen and down the six steps to the main level.

“Toyo? You in there?” Politely soft, but loud enough to be heard, you knocked on her door. Still nothing.

You swung the door open.

“To—” Surrounded by tissues, old bowls of food, and shivering, was Miya Toyo in all her glory. “Gosh.” You whispered. “I knew you were sick, but this is ridiculous.”

Quietly, you grabbed the heating pad in her nightstand drawer and plugged it in, setting it next to her on the bed. Then, gently pulling the covers up and smoothing them out. Not that it mattered. The woman slept like a rock. You wondered if she had always dealt with being sick like this: alone, with no one to care for her.

Then you were headed back towards the kitchen. The door to Toyo’s room was carefully shut. You didn’t want your noise to wake her up. On the way back, you shuddered. No wonder she was sick, she kept the house colder than an icebox.

You made a pit stop at the boy’s room, sliding open a closet door, grabbing a hoodie, and smelling it.

“Hmm… Yeah, that’s Atsumu.” You recognized and quickly pulled it on. The man threw a fit anytime you wore Osamu’s clothes, so you had learned to differentiate the two. You chuckled. That was one of the ways you had figured out he had a thing for you.

A second pair of socks was also stolen. Yours were much too thin to keep your toes from falling off. “Hmm hmmm. Hmm hm, hmmm hm.” You hummed absentmindedly as you switched on the kettle and searched through the pantry and fridge for ideas on what to make.

#atsumu x reader #Miya Atsumu #haikyuu

[takeabitetoremember]

FAQ’s With Mama Hen

I’m working on the next chapter, and it’s taking me awhile, I’ll admit. Having been in and out of the hospital a few times, doctor’s appointments and such, I’ve been tired- but I’m alive! In the meantime, I wanted to write a few little “FAQ’s with Mama Hen” while they were on my mind. I’ll scroll through my feed, and see things, and then realize I wonder if these people understand what this means? Or, I need to explain what I’m getting ready to do next in the story. My mind is all over the place, and I have so many things going on at any point in time in it, that I’ll often forget things easily. So, while these things are on my mind, I’m going to post and address them.

The First: I’ve seen many people in the fandom who are either ALL about “Daddy Dom” or absolutely grossed out by it. What Mama Hen is wondering, how many really understand the dynamic of a Daddy Dom, and what it really is? I’m going to explain to you. A Daddy Dom has absolutely NOTHING to do with incest, pedophilia, or age play. None. For those who have been involved in the Lifestyle (that is the BDSM Lifestyle), a Daddy Dom differs from other Dominants or Masters. You may have seen the term DD/lg or DD/lb for the Daddy Dom and his little depending upon the sex. Once again, littles are women or men of LEGAL age, they are not age players who are interested in incest or pedophilia. The dynamic between a Daddy Dom and a little tends to be more loving and playful than the role of a traditional Dominant/sub Master/Slave. That is NOT to say that there is not the discipline given in the traditional BDSM relationship, but in the role of the Daddy Dom/little relationship it is one where the little is encouraged and fostered to let themselves be free and nurtured. The Daddy Dom is more loving Dominant, for those who are needier and enjoy affection this relationship would most definitely be the one to seek out starting out in the Lifestyle. It’s not something dirty or shameful. These are nothing more than names. Don’t let someone shame you for something you enjoy, or something you’d like to try. The key in ALL relationships, is trust. In any relationship D/s DD/lg DD/lb M/s relationship, the person holding the power is the submissive. Always remember that. If you are the submissive, make sure that your Dom(me) always respects your limits. It’s ok to have them, no matter what they are. If they are a true Dom(me), and interested in being with you, they will absolutely be respectful of those limits. If they aren’t. You walk right then. No true Dom(me) will disrespect limits. If you are a Dom(me) be respectful of your sub(s)/slaves, they are a treasure. They have chosen You, and are putting their trust in You not to harm them, but to mold them, and guide them. Don’t let them down.

Second: People being creeped out over the ages of Michael and Mallory in the beginning of the story. I went back, to the very, very beginning to give a backstory. I didn’t put footnotes, which, in hindsight, I probably should’ve. Yes, I did make a note that I had written Michael’s age was 16, and his mentality was 16. Ok. Let’s be honest ya’ll teenagers have sex. There wouldn’t be a popular MTV show called 16 and pregnant if they didn’t. Do I wish that there weren’t pregnant teenagers in real life? Dear God, yes. You have no idea how much I wish there weren’t. Most have no fucking idea how hard it is. I’ve given birth to two children. One naturally (and God knows that was NOT by choice), one by c-section, asleep. I had severe complications with both pregnancies, and only complications with the natural birth. I wouldn’t wish what happened to me either time upon my worst enemy. My chicks, you’re living under a rock if you think this isn’t happening. Now, had I written a having a 25 year old having sex with a 13 year old. There is a problem. There’s a BIG. ASS. PROBLEM. That’s illegal. Granted, it’s STILL fiction. There are television shows where that shit happens. It happens in real life as well, and it turns my stomach and hurts my heart, believe me, it rips Mama Hen’s heart out, and there’s something wrong with a 25 year old (male OR female) whose fucking a 13 year old, BUT I digress. My maternal grandmother got married the first time at age 14. He first husband died in the war (WWII) in Germany when she was 15, shortly after my Uncle Steve was born. She married my papaw later that year. Before she was 16, she’d been married twice. My paternal grandmother got married at 15 to my first papaw. This was in the 1940’s. I was born in the 1970’s. I had a friend in high school who got married at age 15. She now has a 24 year old child, along with five other children. She’s been married almost 24 years.  I’ve been out of school 20 years this year. There was a time where it was the norm to marry when you were young. I don’t know what culture or country everyone is from, and in different countries, it still is a custom to marry younger (not exactly THIS young thank God, but many are encouraged to marry after finishing school/studies- and I don’t wish to down or be disrespectful to anyone’s culture and/or religious beliefs as long as they are not hurting anyone. Sadly, yes, Mama Hen knows child brides still exist today, and my heart hurts. That's a whole 'nother subject for another day. If you were wondering. I'm talking about consensual marriage.) So, in a nutshell, this is a work of complete fiction, just like AHS. Do some of these things happen in real life? Yes. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s not the end of the world. There are resources to help if you or someone you know is pregnant or if you think you are pregnant and need help.  You have options. If you life in the United States you can go to your local Planned Parenthood for free testing, counseling about your options (this does NOT mean they are going to pressure you into having an abortion- this is a HUGE misconception!) they offer low cost or free health care to women needing it, including prenatal care. If you should decide that you are not ready to be a mother, they will treat you with dignity, and explain your options about abortion. Every woman no matter their age when pregnant deserves to be treated with compassion and dignity.

Lastly:  These are works of fiction that we’re writing here, chicks, don’t take this stuff so serious. When I say don’t take it so seriously, I mean there are people who just freak the fuck out over it, and get bent out of shape. Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t be losing sleep. Don’t be worrying about who hates on your work. Don’t be worrying about why someone doesn’t like you, or is talking shit about you, or this, that, or the other. Life is WAY too short, and there are far more important things to worry about. This is for fun. This is something to do in your down time when you’re able to. Tumblr is a great place to relax, and the #Millory fandom has been wonderful to meet others and make friends, ya’ll! There are some really great people who have been writing, sharing art, pictures, and so forth. Don’t let those who don’t like what you put forth get your feathers ruffled. If they don’t like #Millory, scroll right on past it. If they leave an ugly comment on your page, look to see if it’s constructive criticism, or just a hater/troll. If they’re leaving you something constructive, keep it in mind as something to think about. If it’s a troll, let it roll off your back. Delete. Block. Go on with your day. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit. I don’t, and I’m not dealing with it. It’s back to one of the things in the “Mama Hen’s Advice for a New Year”- Be Kind, But Take No Shit.  Exactly. Be kind to all, but take no shit. Remember this. Am I saying that no one who writes here won't go on to be a writer, have published novels, screenplays, movies, a tv series? Absolutely not! Any one of you have limitless potential! I realize many write for fun, as stress relief, a creative outlet, or like me, it's just something they enjoy doing because their brains go fifty miles a minute, and it calms it a bit to write. Everyone has their reasons. Don't let someone discourage you, and remember if you wear your feelings on your sleeve when it comes to your writing it will bite you in the ass, I promise you. Over the years, I've had people leave me comments from hardass constructive criticism posts that were hard to swallow, I'll admit, BUT much needed, to just outright trolls meant to be bitchy. I can sniff them out now and just feel genuinely sorry for them, because I'm an empathetic person. Bottom line, don't get discouraged, or worked up over people's opinions here. That's all they are.

I love you all, my chicks. Be good to one another. Life is short, enjoy every moment you can.

-- Mama Hen

#millory #stay with me #american horror story apocalypse #mama hen's words of wisdom #mama hen

[dio-roga]

‘AskMarshandBroflovski’

Author/Artist:              jovishark Additional Credit:        puppetamateur Status:                         Complete Links:                           Tumblr Rec No:                        #2 (Part One)

The Gist of It (aka. TLDR)

‘Stan and Kyle go through a whole lot of shit during their last couple years of high school; with side-characters and sub-plots galore. Honestly dudes, it’s hard to summarize this one since it’s just so jam packed with all kinds of everything. This askblog, maybe more than anything else I’ve read, really does encapsulate that whole ‘something for everyone’ feeling. Just trust me my dudes, ships galore, on-point writing, and gorgeous art. Go go.”

Also putting this before the page break: I know, it’s technically not a Cryde work, but I guarantee, there’s more content between those two in there than in most exclusively cryde-centric things. For a bit of trivia, it was this blog that got me into Cryde as a ship to begin with. So c’mon below, and I’ll try and reassure you…

Also also: Fair warning, this rec’ll be long af. I’m a little obsessed. So, get yourself a drink or something?

Storytelling

So like I said in the gist, the premise is fairly simple from the outset; Stan and Kyle start up an askblog, and your usual mix of hilarity, drama and ‘will-they, wont-they’ romance ensues. Now I had read askblogs before this one, and generally found them a lot of fun, but holy shit− from the get-go dudes, from the absolute start, this one had its hooks in me like nothing else has ever quite managed before or since. I’d originally just come across it after seeing some of the Craig/Clyde panels on some google search one weekend; then before I knew it, it was Monday morning and I’d read the whole blog front to back, and was experiencing like, genuine feelings for the first time in a long while.

A lot of what snagged me was the writing, which I walked in totally not expecting to take my soul hostage the way it did. The dialogue I’ll talk about with the characters, but as far as the actual story elements were presented? It reads like a god damn mini-series, with actual self-contained story arcs, side-scenarios that mesh in with the A-plot and oh my sweet jesus, the world building in this thing… Seriously dudes, I normally try and stay more grounded in tropes and clever literary devices and what have you, but with this blog I have a lot of trouble not getting like, emotionally invested.

I think that really is what makes this one so special; the atmosphere. There’s this underlying theme of determination and overcoming adversity (mirroring the writing of the blog itself, if you read the authors notes throughout− something I’d defiantly recommend) It’s the sort of writing that genuinely inspires people, deals with difficult subject matter and just generally gives off a positive vibe about soldering on and making good on big life changes, and that includes everyone, of every age and background.

And therein lies another giant strength, the variety. I would think it a very difficult task for someone to not find something they enjoy in this story; it’s a god damn carnival ride− not to spoil too much, but there’s a wash of different genres, different dynamics, different methods of storytelling and different perspectives on those stories. There’s music, there’s action, audience-participation, and enough backstory and little details that I’m still picking up new things even after having read through multiple times.

And lastly, oh boy− pitchforks and torches at the ready –there’s the content between Craig and Clyde. Now I’m not going to sugarcoat it, or really bother trying to hide the fact that these two don’t wind up in a happy relationship here. But please, and I really do mean this, don’t let that dissuade you. They have a very complicated relationship that keeps changing throughout, but their bond never goes away− so just because it isn’t all kisses and romance, I’d say it’s still one of the most endearing relationships I’ve seen written about the two (hence why I’m sticking to my guns on calling this a cryde-recommendation). Honestly, and I can say this from experience here, it gels with how boys like that can end up acting at that age. Despite everything, they still wind up being the biggest player in each other’s lives.

Characters

There is just characters bursting at the seams here, if you’re a fan of someone in the show, you can bet they’ll probably make an appearance somewhere along the line; or at least get a mention. Even Scott Malkinson gets namedropped, and that’s the first time I’ve seen him show up in something I’ve read in this fandom in like, forever.

Stan and Kyle are great picks for the leads, it feels easy experiencing the events unfold from their perspectives− honestly, it’s like watching a more grown up version of the TV-show for the most part, with Cartman and Kenny filling in with their usual contributions of being an asshole and a sweetheart respectively. (I really do love the way Cartman’s handled; he plays a tremendous bastard to be sure, but in a way you could imagine his childhood-self becoming- he makes a delightfully hammy and worryingly formidable antagonist) Also features pretty much my favorite version of Wendy I’ve come across; she’s the real MVP.

Craig’s low-key stealing scenes at first, before kicking things into high-gear and trying to take over the show throughout the run, to the point where he’s pretty much the focal point of all the drama several times. He’s a bit of a mess, but understandably so. Truthfully, all the characters have a unique take on them (all in keeping with how you’d imagine their canon counterparts at that age) and it’s a delight to learn what makes them all tick. I think with Craig especially, his views often radically differ from what you’re presented with by the other characters (including Stan and Kyle) and it’s never written in a way that forces you to side with any particular party as being ‘in the right’. Something I always find refreshing when it’s done as well as it’s done here. Everyone is presented with both strengths and faults, with actual long-running consequences for past actions, good and bad, and it’s up to you as the reader to make what you will out of it.

But then you’ve got the dialogue, and my god, it really takes the cake. There’s not much I can say apart from I legitimately thought some scenes and mannerisms must have been penned by Trey himself− the humor especially. Truly guys, you’re in for a treat. I would have loved to have asked the boys a question back in the day.

Style

Since I’ve gone long on the writing, I have to pretty much devote this section to the artwork because it’s fucking magic. Picture paints a thousand words and all that, and my god, does it ever do that here− the way things are scripted and tied in with the respective art? It makes for all sorts of amazing comedic timing, adds tenfold to any of the emotional scenes and just makes the story flow like a dream; I always have trouble putting it down once I get started.

Jovi’s just an incredibly talented artist, there is simply no escaping this fact. Each and every character has a unique design that fits their character and− I realize this one’s super subjective –to me, they all have such charm and personality in the way they’re drawn. It’s this masterfully presented cartoon-style with an emphasis on expressions, movement and color that I honestly just adore. Even at the very start of the blog, where the art is almost entirely different than it winds up looking at the finishing point two years later, I just love it− again with a South Park comparison, it reminds me of the watching the early cardboard-cutout style of the show compared to its newer 3D designs, both holding a special place in my heart in their own ways.

It floors me to think this was the author’s first major project. As mentioned above, I’d greatly recommend reading through the blog in its entirety, including all the commentaries by the mods, the funny tags, the side-art. One of the most inspiring things about this work is getting a sense of the love and dedication that was put into it over the years it was running; like watching the behind-the-scenes on some giant motion epic and coming to terms with how much effort went into producing what you’re seeing. It’s practically another story itself, and no less heartening than with the boys and their trials and tribulations. Seriously dude, so much kudos.

Favorite Things

The content variety. There’s just so much to love here, things being kept fresh and exciting throughout the super long run-time of the blog without feeling disjointed, on top of managing a satisfying conclusion. There’s a lot of fun to be had, no half-measures.

The character dynamics are a treat. With such a big cast, there’s all sorts of different personalities playing off each other, with dynamic relationships that all manage to evolve and grow. Definite love given to proper character arcs.

Inspiring themes and feel-good moments really do make this a gem to read when you’re looking for a pick me up. The messages about dealing with depression and addiction, managing your health and fitness and even studying and making smart choices− all of them really hit home.

Relationships of all different types; one’s that work out, one’s that don’t, some being easy, some being hard, long ones, short ones, mistakes and awkward surprises. Romance is well and truly covered, and I like that it doesn’t shy away with the stuff that just doesn’t end well.

Some of the best artwork you’ll come across (and so utterly fitting of the material), drawn to such a quality standard and on such a short time-frame that it kinda makes my head spin. I’m now at the point that when I think about the characters, these versions are the ones that appear in my head.

It’s honestly a little embarrassing for me to talk about AMAB, and god knows it’s pretty presumptuous, y’know? New guy recommends beloved artwork that already attracted thousands of followers back in its day. I’m going to guess this’ll end up being the rec that I’ll have needed to have written the least− since like, all of you have probably already devoured the blog long before you learned about it here.

But you know? If anything, I hope this ends up reconfirming what an excellent choice it was for you to have read it. And as always with these review things, if the author should read this, I hope you know just how much what you’ve made affected me and countless others; how good you deserve to feel, and how proud the people in your life must be of you for doing something so important and worthwhile.

As usual, next post’ll be spoilers and artwork− and I’m just going to bury my head in the sand so hard because my artwork is garbage compared, but we’ll have to muddle through. Join me there for second hand embarrassment, okay?

#south park #Cryde #style #askmarshandbroflovski #jovishark #blog recs #cryderecs #part1

[lanasitra]

tswtms is over (and here’s why)

Did I get you with the clickbait title? I did? Damn right. Bangarang.

In short, I made a mistake.

I goofed.

I made a miscalculation.

I did not make a good prediction.

I anticipated something that did not happen.

I made an error in judgment.

I screwed the pooch.

I shamed the cat.

I faked my death but returned just after the halizah was carried out and now it’s super awkward between me, my ex-wife and my brother.

 I fucked up.

 (This essay will sometimes sound high-and-mighty, sometimes accusatory, sometimes selfish, and sometimes all-business-no-pleasure. In previous essays, I’ve detailed that my passion for music is not driven by money or fame, BUT I have also argued that I can want those things without undercutting my true passion. For that reason, I will not apologize, but I will acknowledge in advance that I may come off as slightly salty and overly businesslike over the next few paragraphs)

For all intent and purpose, tswtms has proven to be a failure. Since Honeymoon became available on major digital platforms in July 2016, I’ve only sold two copies (I’m just now seeing that I got 226 streams on Spotify, etc., which I am pleasantly surprised by and grateful for, but, in the scheme of things, that’s nothing – and only equates to 97 cents in my pocket, might I add). While it hasn’t been long enough for me to get a sales report back for In Between, I have a feeling it will have done marginally better, but still won’t be the kind of break I’m looking for.

There are three potential reasons why I believe tswtms has had a sub-par performance, and I’d like to go through all of them here and now (there is purpose to this, and I imagine the smartest of you cookies will have probably already guessed what it is):

-       The music is bad

-       The advertising is bad

-       The name is bad

(The Music) 

I will concede that tswtms is not everyone’s cup of tea. I am exceptionally proud of every piece I’ve written, but, of the ones I currently have on offer: “Canadian Summer” is six minutes long and meanders during the intro and outro, “Honeymoon” lacks a chorus, “Hate” lacks a chorus, “The North Wood” lacks a chorus, “I Am Not Afraid” lacks a chorus, “SRND” has a meandering intro and lacks a chorus, and all my interludes, intros and outros are “weird” and “artsy” in some way or another. In brief, I have tended so far to not write “accessible” pop songs. “Dreams,” “What’s It Like” and “For You” are what I consider to be my three most accessible, “poppy” songs that are currently available (there’s also “Heavy Crush,” available on my SoundCloud, which I rank among the most “accessible,” but it currently only exists in a place that is not really on anyone’s radar). Having my oeuvre be only ~16% accessible, singalong-able music is perhaps a worry, but, considering how many times someone ensures themselves a comfortable life and diehard audience as a one- or two-hit wonder, I’m not really concerned in that regard.

Such talk of “accessibility,” musical forms and choruses drives me nuts. I enjoy the music I make, and I think that serves as a good enough indication that other people would like it if given the right listening context. Though I go through peaks and valleys of enjoyment with my catalogue, I go through similar phases with any music, regardless of the writer or performer (even Ariana Grande! F***ing crazy, right?). I sometimes get hung up and blame my every failure on the vocal tuning in my pieces, but I realize that I’m only so critical because it’s my own stuff; I listen to other artists’ songs that have some vocal imperfections, and these imperfections rarely diminish my enjoyment of a piece. I like to think that an imperfection here or there on my part will fly similarly under the radar for audience members.

All this has been to say that the music is not the problem. I write a variety of things that appeal to me, and I believe that, while it won’t all appeal to everyone all the time, there is, indeed, something for everyone with tswtms.

 (The Advertising)

With In Between, I attempted to do some online promotion leading up to the album’s release. I feel the campaign (if you can even call it that, given its size) did well to get the word out in my close circles. On release day, I got critique back from people I had never even dreamed would be listening. On top of that, I am very proud of the visual media I created.

However, after observing my local contemporaries, I’m aware of better ways to advertise my music, including buying plays (which, at the time of writing, I think is a pretty slimy thing to do, but I can understand why it would be a necessary evil). I have friends who boast about how many Spotify plays they have, but, when comparing their day-to-day / week-to-week growth on Spotify vs Youtube vs Facebook vs Soundcloud, I can plainly see that they are buying listens. It’s pedantic and petty of me to go about comparing all this data, and I will admit this little search was initially born out of bitterness concerning my contemporaries’ seemingly inexplicable, magnificent successes. I have learned, though, that buying plays is just another way to make your product seem enticing. I hate to imagine that a prospective audience member or booking agent would think differently of my music or my project because it wasn’t “popular,” but I guess that must be the case if buying listens is actually proven to help a startup artist. For the sake of my integrity and transparency (which I like to think I hold above all else), I will make it public knowledge if I ever buy views, listens, followers, etc., and I will include where I got them, the number I bought, and for how much money.

If we’re thinking about an album as a product, let’s think about live performances as advertising that product (though, ideally, I would like to be at a spot where the album is being pirated and people are just paying to come to the shows, but that’s not how it is for me just yet). I haven’t performed live in about a year, and I believe I have a good reason for this: in my opinion, I don’t have a satisfactory live set worth paying any amount of cover charge or ticket price for. As a precursor to the next section, I’ll also point out that, with a name like tswtms or The Sunlit Woods, the Moonlit Sea, open mics are a bit of a difficult beast to grapple with, as it’s likely that people in attendance are just interested enough to go looking for you online, but not interested enough to ask you for your name if they don’t catch it during your performance (as you might expect, people do not catch my name during performances). In short, I don’t believe the returns would yet justify the work required to put on a live show.

Again, all this is to say that I don’t think advertising is the problem. I recognize that I could advertise better, but I don’t even think that’s a relevant conversation yet. My Soundcloud only has 51 followers after having it since high school, and the tswtms Facebook page only has 57 likes after 4 years. For comparison, my friends just started a Facebook page for their new Harry Potter podcast, Flipendo, and amassed more than 100 likes in less than 24 hours (yes, both pages invited people, but I will concede that Flipendo has the benefit of pooling three admins’ social circles). I was in a f***ing high school rock band that DIDN’T DO ANYTHING, and we were still sittin’ pretty above 300 likes when we deleted the page (pour one out for My Autumn Distraction, y’all). Before I even consider buying more ad space or any listens, I need a project that can organically grow in a satisfactory manner.

(BONUS POTENTIAL REASON: People hate me because I was a piece of shit in high school / early university who was annoying on social media and not a very good musician, and these people are deliberately ignoring and avoiding everything I do)

Maybe? Probably a little bit. This is a real insecurity of mine, but I think any effect this deliberate ignorance may be having is inconsequential.

(The Name Is S***)

Surprise, y’all.

It’s the name.

Of course it’s the name.

It was never not the name.

I’m finally changing the name.

No matter which way you say it – The Sunlit Woods, the Moonlit Sea, tswtms (tee ess doube-u tee em ess), tuhswuhtuhmuss –, the name does not roll off the tongue, nor does it stick in the mind. I wanted to take a few moments, though, to explain why I’ve stubbornly gone along with this dumpster fire of a name for four years and two albums:

There are already George Deans making music. George Dean and the Gospel Four. George Dean from the UK (We’rebothfromtheUKbutwhateverweallknowbynowthatIhaveaUSpassportandwishIwasCanadian).

I wanted a name that captured a dichotomy. For the better part of two hours, I brainstormed names that would capture the geographic dichotomy I see in Vancouver. We have mountains and lush forests, but we also have the sea. We can go on brightly lit, magnificent hikes during the day, but stare up at the stars as their lights dance across the waters of the Georgia Strait. For anyone who has listened to my piece “Tarot,” you know that there’s a metaphysical dichotomy that can be gleaned from this as well. As it happens, it proved quite hard to capture that imagery in anything less than “The Sunlit Woods, the Moonlit Sea.”

I wanted to take myself out of it. You’ll notice I tend not to post any performance photos on social media, and that my physical appearance is not part of any tswtms promotion. Other than in the music videos I’m planning, I want to remain ethereal and mysterious; I don’t want to be George Dean, but a purer distillation of my mind. I hate that One Direction’s and similar artists’ successes are so inextricably linked to the audience’s physical attraction to the performing artists, and I want so badly to be an artist that minimizes that as much as possible (short of wearing a mask to perform). Maybe, one day, if I’m ripped af – not if I keep living the way I am, I’ll tell ya! – and Vogue wants to do a shoot with me, I’ll bare all for the world, but I need that s*** to not be the reason I’m selling albums or concert tickets; the music comes first and foremost, and I will fiercely argue against the modern assumption that image is as important as the art itself.

I wanted to leave room for a band. Even on my FIRST album, I already had help from my friends: Janine on trombone, Jaelem on drums, Sean on lead guitar, and Are Been on piano. This continues on In Between, where Sean’s playing guitar on “For You.” This project clearly isn’t just George Dean, and it would be a disservice to my fellow musicians and artists if I called it George Dean. Sure, I write the music and lyrics, and I make almost all creative decisions, but, whenever another musician gets involved, they’re going to give their two cents and reshape a piece (no matter how minutely). Furthermore, I’m rarely going to give a solo performance of most of these songs, because they deserve to be played by a full band. I don’t want to go on stage with my friends and essentially say “Hey! I’m the guy you all came for and these five dunces can all f*** off!” Consequently, I have struggled with choosing any derivative of “George Dean and the ________” because, in my head, it may as well be the same thing in terms of dictating superiority. In live performance, I don’t want the audience to see me in front of a backing band – I want the audience to see tswtms.

SBTRKT, Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance all exist. All three of these projects exist and have achieved a level of success that I’d be happy with. Despite it being pronounced “Subrtract,” I definitely had an acquaintance in high school who liked SBTRKT enough to go to their concert, but still called them “ess bee tee are kay tee.” Long names clearly work for some people, but I suppose mine was just too out there (and I am aware that Odd Future’s name has been organically shortened over time by the audience and the artists, and I was hoping that would happen eventually for tswtms).

I arrogantly wanted to create a barrier to entry concerning intelligence. In my mind, neither The Sunlit Woods, the Moonlit Sea nor tswtms are hard to remember, and I have always assumed that this feat of memory was a mark of intelligence. I realize now that the names aren’t hard to remember for anyone else either; it’s just that other people have other s*** going on that’s filling their heads, and I should be respectful of that. tswtms has been the primary thing on my mind for four years now, so no s*** I’d be well acquainted with the names. Even as I type this, I’m supposed to be working on projects for other people, but there’s so much on my mind that the minutia (or what I consider to be the minutia) is falling out. It would be hypocritical of me to expect someone to memorize cumbersome sets of words or letters that aren’t of the utmost importance to them if I’m not willing to do the same. Furthermore, I shouldn’t get salty about people choosing not to fill their mental hard drives with such nonsense.

Something I’ve often thought in the past – especially when I’m feeling bitter – is that, if someone couldn’t remember the name or wasn’t willing to put in a little bit of legwork to memorize it, then I wouldn’t want them listening to my music anyway. That’s a really arrogant, elitist, hurtful, b***s*** and insensitive way of thinking, and I apologize that I ever felt that way. As my buddy Sean Dales said to me, “You don’t choose your audience, your audience chooses you.”

I thought I was centuries ahead of the curve with the name tswtms. It’s arrogant to say, but I do actually believe this still. For the most part, you’ve got artists going by their actual names, but, when that’s not available, people are using whatever’s left to allow them to stand out against the incessant din of the modern world. Broadly speaking, you have artists throwing darts at walls, you have snappy mononyms, you have some variation on “X and the Y,” you’ve got “The ______,” you definitely have “______ the ______,” and NOW, with the rise of Chvrches, you’ve got people taking a snappy mononym and replacing letters with other letters. If this trend continues (and I’m sure it will as the digitally available library of art grows and grows with – hopefully – very little of it ever being deleted), I think it’s within reason to predict that, in 200 years’ time, people will be listening to popular bands whose names are just random assortments of letters. For the time being, though, I don’t think society is ready for this jelly. 

The iconography is gorgeous. The thing that really sold me on going with the acronym tswtms as opposed to The Sunlit Woods, the Moonlit Sea (other than Soundcloud not allowing a name that long -.-) was the iconography I developed. In fact, the iconography for tswtms is impacting what the new name will be, because I want to keep the new iconography as similar to the old as possible.

I maintained a monopoly on search results. Google “George Dean” and tell me how many results pertain to me (you can get closer by searching “George TB Dean,” but NOT CLOSE ENOUGH). Google “Sean Dales” and tell me how many are related to either his music or his blog. Do the same with Kyle Cardigan. Now google “tswtms,” and you can bet your neck, back, p**** and crack that every result on the first page has something to do with me.

 Banga-f***ing-rang.

It’s a little thing, but it was nice knowing that I wasn’t competing with anyone else.

I think that’s it for why I chose and stuck with tswtms. I felt that, if I pushed it for long enough, the music would persevere and people would come around to understanding and accepting the name. An anecdote that I believe accurately suggests how badly the name has failed is this: when explaining to a co-worker that I had “come up with a bad band name,” I opted to write down “tswtms” and “The Sunlit Woods, the Moonlit Sea” on a piece of paper and show it to them rather than just say the names, because I have not once said either name out loud and had it be understood without eventually writing it down.

I believe I’ve found a name that is more manageable, yet still allows me to remove my physical self, retain some air of mystery and avoid direct competition with similarly titled projects. Maybe I’ll use this name; maybe I’ll change my mind within minutes of posting this essay to Tumblr. Only time will tell. Anyway, I’ll soon be pulling the tswtms stuff off of iTunes and Spotify in order to re-upload it all under a new name, so, if you want that OG kush, get it while you can. The Tumblr, Facebook, Soundcloud and (hopefully) YouTube page will all just be swapped over to the new name when the time comes, but I’ll be sure to update you all with the social media links when they’re ready.

Namaste

t s w t m s

[2016-05-16 Edit: As of right now, the tswtms catalogue is no longer available on iTunes or Spotify]

#tswtms #The Sunlit Woods the Moonlit Sea

[shocksurprise]

So, i feel like maybe I owe you guys an explanation/life update?? So here’s that I guess???

Uhhh, life is stressful basically.

I’ve got a boyfriend who has fucking dug my dumb ass out of a lot of shit. 

My mum is doing her best. She’s getting better.

My car is doing okay, smelling like burning oil this morning, but I’m thinking it might be the winter tires on it. (It’s fucking February, what the fuck, i didn’t make that choice.)

My dad is doing okay i think??? I haven’t really talked to him. I apologized for being absent on my family chat cause I haven’t been home much on weekends???

My job is fucking great. I get to fucking stand in a room with 20+ dogs for 2 hours and get paid for that shit. Only working weekends, but money is money.

My co-works are chill. We got short staffed Sunday and i had cottages, a separate building, and the 2 others (we’re meant to have 5 people) straight up left. And when i came back to the main building another co-worker from a different section was like, “...bro, they both left over an hour ago???”

I took the car keys from my mum about a monthish ago cause she was drunk. She attacked me and I had to run out the back door.

Then a week and a half ago I came home and her drug dealer was passed out on my sofa. That lead to me writing a very angry and strong worded letter. 

She still has the letter. She looks at it every day. It keeps her going I guess. But she’s not drinking, I get to be home, and my boyfriend can be over. She’s way more lenient than my boyfriends parents, so sex is a lot safer.

Got an IUD, don’t worry, not getting pregnant. Shit was free. It was lit. Didn’t hurt at all. My period is basically nothing now??? Gotta wear liners 24/7 cause otherwise I’ll fuck my underwear up even more.

Oh yeah, that too, having a lot of sex??? It’s a fun time?? Still really really confused on sexuality cause I can’t imagine doing that with anyone other than him??? Like, it’s fun and it feels nice, but i still don’t see sex as a necessity???

Smoking a lot of weed??? Like good god. I’m on a week tolerance break rn cause it started to fuck with my head again. Five or six days smoking in a row will do that???

My driving habit’s are still unsafe as shit in the weirdest way. I come too a 100% complete stop at stop signs, use my blinker/turn signal excessively, and obey nearly every law other there....other than speed limits.

I straight the fuck up have my entire school route down to a T when it comes to where the cops hide. There’s a section at the very beginning where there are no other turns, it’s just a road with no shoulder or hiding spots. Speed limit is 35 mph. I did 70 down it this morning til I saw a fucking County Transportation car with flashy lights.

Another road, that’s on my way to my boyfriends/on my way to work from my boyfriends, the limit is 40 mph. Well, there’s a tunnel that goes under a runway to the airport. I have done 80 on that road after the tunnel. Why??? Cause cops can’t sit in the section ever cause they can’t use their radios. Why?? Airport. Tower.

Like, legit, I found out my car can do 90 mph and not fall a-fucking-part like i thought i would. It was like 1am and the highway was straight up empty.

Uhhh, I mean, other than that, nothing real big??? I need a car wash??? The salt is going to start eating my car from the roads when it was icy if i don’t get one soon.

Gas is pretty cheap rn thank god??? I’m broke?? We went to Cape to get Taco Johns and I thought i had $20 in my account, just enough for gas. I check it the next day, and the tank i got in Cape withdrew. They put a $1 hold to fucking trick me????

Oh, school sucks shit. I have a sub for my Photography and Graphic Design cause my teacher is on maternity leave. The sub is a fucking cunt. End of story. She doesn’t know how to interpret my normal teachers words and she’s shoving her own assignments in there also and I’m salty???

So yeah, that’s that??? I’m not real sure if I’ll ever really be “active” again outside a few reblogs here and there??? I still like a lot of stuff, I’m just too lazy to reblog it cause of all the tags i use that I kinda don’t remember???

I love you guys??? Thanks for sticking it out with my dumb ass for so long????

If you still wanna like, keep up to date with my shenanigans, all my contact info is on my FAQ page!!!

I’m not going to delete this blog ever. It’s got a lot of memories, so don’t worry about it disappearing. 

Again, thank you guys.

~~Jay (Oooo, also the name change. I’ve got teachers and people I don’t talk to much anymore saying it and fuck, it makes me so happy???? I don’t even respond ha;f the time case I forget that’s my name??? But, I’m adjusting, and it’s more than i could have ever wished for.)

#my life #mum #josh #kw #god im so fucking happy #life is honestly really good #i just need to think about it #im really honest to fuck okay #like im doing okay #and its going to be okay

[aejhvcd-blog]

Week 13

Presentation 

What the Kit!? Logo on kraft

Good afternoon! I hope that we are all doing well and are feeling great about everything! I wouldn’t have been able to say the same for myself recently, especially throughout the last few years of my degree, it’s been a bit of a whirlwind and I have had a wobbly time trying to get my shit together!

So, I’d like you guys to put yourselves back in our shoes, think about being a stressed out undergraduate who is trying to get their shit together before finishing their degree and heading out into this thing we call the “real world”.

What the Kit!? is for undergraduates of all disciplines who don’t know quite how to deal with the stress of university and life in general as everything is just getting a bit hectic and too much.

It is a kit that they can literally get their hands on in order to help try and get their shit together before graduating and heading out into the ‘real adulting world’.

My proposal was looking at how designers could use sensory design in order to trigger their target audience’s nostalgia. I was finding it rather difficult trying to figure out how to curate and put this into the works, as there were many different tangents and possible variants. I was getting quite distraught on how exactly to attack this.

With an interest in generation Z, as they are the majority of the people around me, therefore a great group to focus on, I decided I had to look at what I had already done. I asked myself “So, what am I actually trying to do here, and more importantly, why?”.

I came to the conclusion of encouraging people to feel better with what stress they’re surrounding themselves with, in terms of both university and what is happening in their life. Along with getting people to interact and engage with what I produced.

So, how can design help navigate the stress of undergraduates through an interactive output?

What the Kit!? is for stressed out undergraduates attempting to get their shit together. In an interview about tertiary students mental health with Stuff, the president of the New Zealand Union of Students Associations, Jonathan Gee says

“You can’t really see it [the importance of your mental health] when you’re stuck in a bubble and you have got these deadlines and you don’t know where you’re going to go with your life. It can seem a bit much”.

During university at all stages, we are faced with all sorts of stress. We start settling ourselves down about the excitement of being independent and getting a degree, and we see the need to focus and hone in. For a number of students, we have also moved out of home and, in general, there are many other things that life can throw at us.

And unfortunately, we just don’t know how to deal with the stress of it all. In June and July of this year, New Zealand Union of Student Associations ran a survey called Kei Te Pai for students around their mental health experience. And out of one thousand seven hundred and sixty two students who responded, 56% said they had considered dropping out of tertiary study. With the main reasons being that they were “feeling overwhelmed, living with mental illness and fearing failure.”

What the Kit!? is used to get stressed out undergraduates to take a step back and use different suggested methods in order to tackle their life.

At the beginning of our degrees we are provided with a lot of information and shown what is available to help us cope with life at university. However, there is an element missing which needs to be able to help us navigate our way through the shit, and get it together. Students are given What the Kit!? at this time that guides them on how to take a step back to help themselves with the stress.

The central proposition and intention of What the Kit!? is to help people in a similar boat to myself, make them feel not so alone throughout these stressful years, and to help guide them in getting their shit together. Giving them a hand, with the contents of the provided handbook, A Loosely Fitted Guide on How to Get Your Shit Together written from my point of view, being a fellow stressed out student.

So, imagine you’re a stressed out undergraduate looking for a hand, and this poster catches your eye on campus, you follow the directions to go to your student association and pick up one of these kits.

You open the bag, which is super handy to chuck in your school bag or car for when you need something to help carry all of your extra shit,

And you find A Loosely Fitted Guide on How to Get Your Shit Together inside, and the What the Kit!? box. Naturally, you will flick through the book to have a look at the gist of what is going on, and also open up the box.Once you open the box you will find a note with the The Tools which explains what this little tool kit is. The note explains that the tools are individually wrapped with a tag as a small give away of what it is, or when to use it. Almost like a like a lucky dip that we had when we were children. These tools are to be opened when you see fit, some of them are tools that are going to help you, but a handful are also small things to keep your brain ticking while you are procrastinating.

The handbook A Loosely Fitted Guide on How to Get Your Shit Together will be beneficial to the user as it gives the perspective of a fellow stressing student, essentially showing them that they are not alone through the stresses of university.

Hopefully giving them a giggle and something to relate to, as well as teaching them that taking breaks is not only encouraged but necessary in order to help recharge your brain.

And to keep their brain ticking while procrastinating, doing small brain teasers, as it can boost overall brain activity, increase memory power, and improve concentration.

I’m not much of a writer, but making the contents for what the kit was a fun challenge. I use the point of view that speaks to numerous amounts of students, I sent out the words for people of all disciplines to have a read and the feedback they gave was positive, in saying they really enjoyed the fact that they aren’t alone with the stresses of uni. 

What the Kit!? uses the tone of voice that is a little bit frantic, with a touch of explicit language, as myself and other students seem to have a bit more of a potty mouth when we are stressing out.

Using this tone not only reassures that I was stressed at the time of writing and curating, but also shows that I was in the exact same boat as them while trying to get my shit together.

Sometimes we can feel like everybody who are in the same boats as us are going with the flow, and just cruising around us, but in fact people around are just as stressed as you. So, having a helping hand guiding you through this and not making you feel so alone would be such a wonderful tool.

In curating What the Kit!? I wasn’t sure on what kind of style I was going for, so I just began sketching, doodling and to start brainstorming ideas, and also do some productive procrastination, as doodling is something that makes me happy. This turned highly in my favour as I created all of the typography by hand and then scanned and refined it to make it look consistent.

It is printed on 100% recycled paper to give the user that little boost about doing their part for the environment. It ended up looking like a scrapbook, with items crafted by hand, it reflects the doodles and piecing together that a student would be doing in their own pages of notes.

It evokes the idea of getting hands-on with the kit, which is exactly what I want What the Kit!? to encourage.

With a number of different approaches in the handbook, stressed out students are given information in easily digested short paragraphs, making it not such a drag to read through. It is also broken up with different tasks and procrastination tools, some to help get them where want to go, and some to ignite the child living inside of them.

The book speaks to both sexes that are going through stresses, the sections of the handbook are as follows with sub-sections: About This Shit, which introduces the concept of the book and where it’s coming from

Oh for Keepsake, which explains the importance of nostalgia and memory keeping and how you can use it to make yourself feel better about where you’re at. As per the research in my proposal, having nostalgia be something that is almost a ‘mental safe zone’, so they feel safe and comfortable or ‘at home’ due to the evoked nostalgia.

Curating your Happy, where you are encouraged to surround yourself with the things and people that make you the happiest in order to get you to step back into a less stressful area.

The Importance of taking a step back focuses on not getting caught in the hurricane that is your stressing and to do lists, but it also guides you on how to step back so you can look at the bigger picture in order to help you prioritise

It’s All About You speaks to everyone in the sense that you need to be focusing on yourself, for your sanity and also to not be comparing where you’re at to everybody else. Even the Be Your Own Beyonce section, where I justify that even if you’re not a fan of Beyonce, you know that she not only slays her days, but she’s also just a human too, so don’t try to run yourself out or you will run yourself down

And finally, Trying not to be Bambi on Ice where I suggest ways in how to act like everything is together, and if you look and feel like someone who has their shit together, the likelihood is going to be that you are.

Along with how to try and go out into the ‘real adulting world’ with your head screwed on somewhat straight.

I curated what the kit while being a stressed out undergraduate and attempting to get my shit together, while trying to act composed.

What the Kit!? is put together with the intent that stressed out undergraduates will be able to use the kit to get away from the stress of their day for however long they desire.

It is an interactive kit which offers pointers and tips to help people take a step back and look at the bigger picture, getting them to feel a little bit better about where they are at. It encourages stressed students to take a break to reset their busy minds, using the tools of the kit in order to help get their shit together!

If I were to continue with putting this kit into action, I would push the interactive aspect much more by having a website with a live blog where people are able to post their queries or own tips. Or eventually expanding into different areas, like how to get your shit together and get a job, or expand on the section on adulting and how to get your shit together and be a real grown.

I would be curating and talking about these experiences, once again as they are happening!

And now I think it’s safe to say I managed to get my shit somewhat together by the end of this research project!

Thank you for listening! Feel free to unwrap the kits if you would like to have a nosey!

_____

Report

#s2w13