#they just sittin there like 'man this is fun to watch lol'

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Hi!!! I want to say I'm OBSESSED with your writing~ its so detailed and English isn't my first language but I really wish I could be as good writer like you someday! I was wondering if I could request the obey me brothers reactions to mc being the only one other than lucifer who is cerberus favorite? I have a theory that since they are descendent of lilith and cerberus is meant to gaurd liliths tomb, cerberus might take a liking to lovely mc too!! Thank you! I'm sorry if its hard to understand..

Ehehe~ ♡♡ my first lenguage is not english either so I am really glad you like my writting! I can't say I am in any way close to a professional writer but it still feels nice to be looked up upon! Don't give up!

Note: in my mind cerberus is basically the same size as Sadaharu from Gintama

Just a bit bigger

Also I headcanon their breed to be of a Molossian dog after someone interpreted cerberus to have such appearence seeing that the breed was the most used as a guard dog in greece at the time. Also used as a war dog by our dear Alexander The Great ™

Anyways!

I changed this to a mini fic format because it felt better this way.

.

Puppy Love - a Lucifer being a Simp Mini Fic

The older brother snapped himself out of his concentration as he felt a very familiar vibration inside his pants' pocket.

He had changed the pattern of the vibration for each important chatroom he was in so he could know beforehand what level of headache to expect.

And seeing he reconized this repetitive vibration on his leg as the one he shared with all his brothers and the human, he was already pondering if he should actually pretend he didn't even notice it in the first place.

No, who knows what on all realms they would get or have already gottem themselves into. He decided with an already exaspherated sigh an a small twinge of worry as he unpocketed his D.D.D.

He doesn't know if he should file what was happening as expected or not.

'Yo guys, check this out!'

-Image sent-

That was Leviathan.

And in the picture was a very familiar hellhound smiling at the camera as two other familiar figures of the human and a certain Avatar of Lust sat themselves comfortably on Ceberus' back.

When had they gone out??

'Srsly, how the hell did they manage to tame that thing???'

'Everytime I get close to him he growls at me!'

'That's your own fault for being a pain in the ass Mammon.'

-thunder emoji sent-

'Also, didn't Beel also go with you guys?'

'I was half asleep but I'm pretty sure he told me he was leaving. I think.'

'Oh, he went to buys us food. At least I hope he doesn't eat it all before coming back.'

Lucifer stared at the unfolding conversation, opening and closing the image several times.

'What on earth...?'

Was all he could type in.

He remembers that at some point in the past he was worried about you getting along with the hellhound, he planned very throughly to have them be an extra layer of protection in case needed. Making sure to force you to take Cerberus on a walk to have them get used to your scent.

Of course it never showed to be necessary as Mammon had already kept enough watch over you, too much even.

The hellhound was pretty indiferent to you throughout your entire first year, but then the moment you stepped in the Devildom for the second time, it was like Cerberus was your own pet all allong.

More often than not he would catch you already in the tombs giving the mythological man eater hellhound belly rubs while blowing kisses. And he wasn't even going to start with the fact Cerberus was obviously enjoying the attention.

And he was not going to get into the fact that the sight of Cerberus' ears perking up whenever your name was mentioned the same way they did whenever Lucifer's name was mentioned (specially out of your lips) made his heart go extremelly soft, nope.

'Would you look at that Lucifer.'

'It seems your dog has a soft spot for our fellow human.'

'I wonder why huh?'

Lucifer squinted at Satan's messages on his D.D.D.'s screen as his fingers pressed on the typing space, tapping into a recently used emoji.

-frowning emoji sent-

-whistling emoji sent-

This ittle shit. He thought.

'Sataaaaan'

'You're missing the fun! Cerberus' fur is so soft!'

The older brother scoffed at Asmo's texts.

'Of course it is, I make sure to keep them groomed and clean.'

'If only they were a cat...'

'LOL cat Cerberus LOLOLOL'

'Kitty Cerberus LOLOLOL'

He felt his eyebrows dig even lower on his forehead.

'Maybe I should get someone to temporarelly turn Cerberus into a Quimera.'

'Then we will see if you can still call them 'Kitty', Mammon.'

'Stop singlin' me out, damn!'

At this point Lucifer could already feel a smile forming on his lips.

He would be dammed if anyone knew how much fun he actually has while teasing his fellow second oldest.

-image sent-

'Look at Levi! Ahaha!'

The image was sent by Asmodeus. Apparently he just switched places with Leviathan on Cerberus back.

Only this time he was in front of the human and not behind them like Asmo, covering half of their face and most likely their smile as he could see the squint on the corners of their shining eyes.

He's blocking the view. The oldest tsk'ed.

'Oi! Why is he sittin' on the front?!'

Him and the second oldest could agree on certain things sometimes.

'He jumped out LOL'

-image sent-

-laughing emoji sent-

'He had one job...'

Lucifer covered his mouth with a hand and cleaned his throat to hide the fact that he almost laughed.

Why was he hiding it anyways, he was alone in his office?? He sighed.

'Ah! Beel is back!'

'And he didn't eat everything yay!'

'I found some dog snacks on the way too.'

Lucifer sighed again, this time more fondly, he surely hoped they weren't spoiling the hellhound too much.

His phone vibrated again.

Another message came in, only this time in private.

He perked.

It was you.

'Lucifer, I'm going to steal your dog.'

He did not expect that.

But he would be dammed if he let his surprise show.

'Oh really? Seeing how much they like you, I don't think you need to steal them.'

'They would gladly go with you if you call out to them.'

He did not know how to feel by the fact that what he just wrote could actually be right.

'Would you go with me if I called?'

His eyes widened for a second.

Would he? He smiled.

'Of course.'

Yes, yes he would.

#have Lucifer being a Loser #obey me #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me mini fic #obey me cerberus #obey me imagines

[p-artsypants]

I’ll Handle This (12)

In Which Lila Learns about Skyrim

Ao3 | FF.net

Sorry for taking a bit with this chapter. It isn’t even very long. But I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. We’re coming up close to the end of the story, but there’s maybe two more chapters after this. 

(Psst this chapter has hints to the next story I’ll publish after this one...as long as my ideas don’t change lol)

--

Lila was fired. It was immediate when they found out. Everyone sat in class, the lecture normal and lulling everyone into a soft state of sedation. 

Then Lila screamed. The scream was the worst thing Marinette had ever heard. Immediately, everyone turned to look at her in horror. 

She started bawling. Huge gasping sobs of someone who’d been shot. 

“Lila?!” Miss Bustier gasped in shock and concern. “Are you okay?!” 

“I’m so sorry, Miss Bustier!” She wailed. “I just wanted to peek at my email and—and—Mr. Agreste fired me!” 

Plagg had to bite his tongue. He knew she was going to twist this somehow, but her sobbing was so beautiful to see. 

“Oh Lila, I’m so sorry. It hurts a lot to lose a job. Especially when they don’t tell you to your face. That’s no fair.” 

“He-he-he said that Marinette told him that I was making Adrien uncomfortable! She got me fired!” 

Gasps, all around. 

“What?!” Barked Marinette. “I had nothing to do with this!” Not exactly the truth...

“But that’s what Mr. Agreste said!” 

Plagg stood, placing his foot on the seat, the spurs on his cowboy boots ringing with the motion. He put his cowboy hat back on (since Mrs. Bustier had asked him to remove it for violating dress code...again.) “well now. Sounds like we got ourselves in a gosh darn pickle.” 

Nino snorted. 

“Adrien! You never said I made you uncomfortable! Marinette must have lied to your father!” 

He flicked the rim of his hat. “Now slow your roll there, Buckeroo. I know my old man, and even if Marinette was mentioned in his email, it’s likely that he just wanted to place the blame on someone else.” 

Yes, throw the old man under the bus. He still deserves it, even with whole hearted apologies. 

“But you know, I do feel awfully bad for you, Lila. Losing yer job and all. How’s about I make it up to ya? I’ll come sit by you for a while. Keep ya company and cheer you up. Cain’t have gettin’ all akumatized up in here, you reckon?” 

Not that Lila getting akumatized was even a concern anymore. But the world wouldn’t know about Hawkmoth’s surrender until Emilie’s fate was resolved. Adrien’s family deserved that much at least. 

“Oh Adrien!” Lila cried. “You really are such a wonderful friend. But I couldn’t bear to make you move on my behalf. You need to focus on your work.” 

“A cowboy needs to be exceptional at multitasking. That is, as long as Mrs. Brassiere is okay with it.” 

Miss Bustier pinched the bridge of her nose. Usually, she was a very calm and level-headed teacher, compassionate and understanding. But Adrien’s antics were stressing her out massively. “Yes, Adrien, I suppose it’s fine if you move to—what did you call me?”

“Much obliged, Madam. If’en you’ll excuse me...” 

Marinette watched with fascination as Plagg gathered up his materials and moved to the back of the class to sit next to Lila. Then she glanced in her purse, where Tikki and Adrien were hanging out. They both shrugged. 

Due to the retirement of Hawkmoth, Adrien was now allowed to spend time away from the Miraculous without consequence. Plagg assured him that once the final condition was met, no matter where he was, his soul would return to his body. 

So he spent the school day with Tikki, and the evenings with Marinette. It was a sweet deal, and it really gave Adrien the time to bond with her without school or akumas in the way. 

He had even spent the night with her the night before, curled up next to her on her pillow, and purring every time Marinette’s hand glanced his fur. 

Nino leaned back in his seat. “Do you know what he’s up to this time?” 

“No idea...but I am eager to see where this goes.” 

Nino shook his head with a shrug. Two nights ago, when Plagg was arrested, Nino gathered all the money in his savings and went down to the jail to bail him out. 

Only to find out he was already let go. 

So he went back home, and called Adrien’s phone relentlessly, hoping for an answer. 

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, Chat Noir returned and explained that he was going home now, thanks for having him, he had to watch the mansion because his sort of repentant father was going to Tibet to resurrect his dead wife. 

Nino gave up on logic and understanding, and just made sure Plagg had everything he had brought. 

Now he would wait until the whole situation blew over, and hopefully Adrien himself, in his own body, would explain it all to him. Plagg seemed to oversimplify everything to the point it became vague. 

Marinette, on the other hand, was very curious to see where this was all going. After all, Adrien’s previous tactic of being nice to Lila hadn’t worked. So what was Plagg hoping to gain from the same approach?

Wrassle her with his randomly appointed cowboy charm? 

In science, two classes later, Plagg had elected to sit next to Lila still, despite her protests. 

Marinette was close enough now to hear what Plagg’s master plan was. 

“So there’s like several types of Mer, right? But not like mermaids. This has nothing to do with mermaids. These are mostly elves, but not all. So there’s Dunmer, right? Those are dark elves. And Bosmer, wood elves, and Altmer, high elves. The Falmer are snow elves, but they’re all twisted and savage, because of the Dwemer, which are dwarves!” 

Marinette snorted a bit too loudly, drawing attention from the teacher. 

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, is something funny?” 

“No ma’am, I had a tickle in my sinuses.” 

“Ah, I see. Anyways, as I was saying...” 

Lila always sat in the back of the class, despite her many alleged disabilities. This was probably to get away with the fact that she rarely paid attention during class. 

It was the ideal place for Plagg to harass her and not get caught. 

Poetry in motion. 

“So you get to pick what race you want to be, but you’re always the Dragonborn. Despite the description, you don’t look any different. So a Dragonborn is someone that can devour the souls of dragons so they don’t get resurrected by Alduin. Let me back up, Alduin is an evil dragon that used to rule the world, and he’s resurrecting dragons so he can take over. There’s another dragon though, named Paarthanax, and he’s a good guy. He helps out the Tongues on the Throat of the World. Or the greybeards. Some call them Tongues, but in the game they’re called Graybeards. And the tongues are the monks that teach you to shout. And different shouts teach you different things, right? The dragonborn and the tongues are the only ones that are supposed to know how to shout, but there’s this other dude named Ulfric Stormcloak, and he knows Unrelenting Force, that’s the Fus Ro Da shout I was talking about earlier? He used it to kill high king Torygg to start a war. Oh yeah, so there’s nine holds with Jarls, right—“ 

The day ended, and Lila stood quickly. “Well Adrien, thank you so much for keeping me company today. I’m feeling a lot better. You can move back up to your old spot tomorrow.” 

“Well, you shore are welcome, Pardner. But sittin here in the back has been mighty nice. I think I’ll stay! You don’t mind, do ya? It’s awfully fun to have you as company!” 

Lila’s eye twitched, but she was aware that most of the class was watching them. “Yeah. That’d be...great.” 

“Darn tootin’! Well, you look like you’re in a rush, don’t want to hold you up!” 

“See you tomorrow!” She chirped, before hurrying from the room. As she passed Marinette, a dark look came over her face. The look of someone seething with rage and hatred, but trying to hide it. 

Marinette would have been scared, if Lila hadn’t been dealing with Plagg instead. 

Marinette went home, Tikki and Adrien talking to her from her collar. 

“I don’t know. Plagg was successful with the first two tasks, but I don’t know how he’s going to turn Lila over to the good side.” Marinette mused. 

“I don’t know if he has to. The condition is to just get her to leave me alone. He said he was doing some Pavlovian Jedi mind trick on her.” 

“Well, I sure hope it works. Speaking of, where is Plagg?” 

Adrien’s ears flicked. “He left pretty suddenly after class. I didn’t see him go. Hopefully, he went back to the mansion.” 

“Do you want me to call him?” 

“No, I trust him. He’s got things under control.” 

“Glad to hear it! Ready for snack time?” 

“Oh heck yes!” 

—

Lila had to actively stop herself from stomping all the way home. Frustration rolled off of her in waves, and she mildly wondered why she hadn’t been akumatized yet. 

Adrien Agreste was the most annoying person she had ever met. And oblivious too! He never picked up on any of her subtle hints to get him to shut up! She really didn’t want to be rude, because his friendship looked great on her, but wow. No wonder he didn’t have any friends. No wonder Gabriel was so protective of him. If he wasn’t cute...his personality was like a wet sock. 

And he was weird. Weird mannerisms, weird speech pattern, just weird. Hopefully she could either get used to it, or Adrien would get a clue to stop being so obnoxious. 

Finally, she reached her apartment. 

“Home mom!” She called. 

There was laughter in the kitchen. Her mother had a guest. While not uncommon, there was just a hint of dread that hung in the air. 

Lila walked to the kitchen, only to see Adrien sitting at the table, talking to her mother! How?! How did he beat her here?! How did he know where she lived?! What the hell was he doing?!

“Adrien?” Lila gawked. 

He rubbed his head awkwardly. “Sorry for popping in uninvited. I just...I was worried about you! You’ve been akumatized twice, and I didn’t want it to happen again since you were fired.” 

Lila’s face paled as her mother gave her a stern look. 

“I think you’ve got some explaining to do, Missy. I didn’t know you were modeling. And you never told me about being akumatized!” 

Adrien gasped. “Oh no! She didn’t tell you? I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that was a secret! I won’t say anymore!” 

“Any more?” Mrs. Rossi asked. “There’s more?” 

“Adrien.” Lila bit, in warning. 

“Well...I mean, you knew she was meeting with my father right? Something about being his muse?” 

Mrs. Rossi looked horrified. “What! You were talking to a grown adult man?! Were these visits supervised?!” 

Lila opened her mouth to answer, but Plagg beat her to it. “I don’t think so. Father is a very private person.” 

“Lila Giselle Rossi! You are sooo grounded! No offense to your father, Adrien, but meeting up with an adult man, unsupervised? And to what, be his muse? What does that even mean? It sounds gross!” 

“I swear nothing happened! He just wanted my opinion-”

“On what? What reason would he have to ask a 14 year old’s opinion?”

Plagg winced and looked at Lila. “I’m so sorry, Lila. I came here to help, but...” 

Lila shook with rage. Her mother was a complete pushover and believed everything she said. Now Adrien had sewn the seeds of distrust in her and she wouldn’t get away with any white lies ever again. 

“You’re dead,” She mouthed at Plagg. 

“Adrien, thank you for coming here and telling me all of this. I’m very grateful. But I think it’s best if you head home now. Lila has some chores to do.” 

“I understand, Madam Rossi. Again, I’m really sorry...I just wanted to help.” 

“Oh don’t worry, you did. This is for Lila’s own good.” 

He sheepishly looked to her. “See you tomorrow?” 

Her eye twitched. “Yeah.” 

And Plagg swiftly walked from the apartment, concealing his evil laughter until he got to the door. 

—

The next day at school, Marinette, along with Tikki and Adrien in her bag, arrived at school just a few minutes before the bell rang. 

Plagg was sitting at the front of the room, wearing a Pikachu onesie, and looking absolutely devastated. Nino sat next to him and had a hand over his face, doing his best to conceal whatever emotion he had. 

Everyone else in the room was avoiding them like they had the plague. 

Alya spotted her and came quickly, looping an arm through hers and escorting them out into the hall. “Girl, big news. I know you love Adrien, so this is going to be a blow. But here’s the thing...Lila told us this morning that Adrien came to her house yesterday and told her mom about her modeling job. Apparently, her mom didn’t want her working, and got upset that Lila lied. Adrien’s been insisting that it wasn’t on purpose, but everyone is kind of pissed at him anyway.” 

Marinette said nothing, but bit her lip. She knew that this absolutely was on purpose. 

“I’ll leave your actions up to you, but people are pretty mad at Adrien. Just letting you know.” 

“Who’s side are you taking?” 

Alya scoffed. “None. I’m staying out of this. Both people are in the right. Obviously Sunshine just wanted to prevent her from being akumatized. He was with her all day yesterday. It’s admirable, really.” 

“It is.” Marinette said with a smile. Though she was smiling for a completely different reason. There were no akumatizations anymore. Everyone was safe now. 

“We better get back in there, class will start soon.” 

So they returned. Miss Bustier was in, and ready to begin the lesson. 

Then Plagg raised his hand. 

“Yes Adrien?” 

“Before we start class, I want to say something.” 

“Go ahead, Adrien. The floor is yours.” 

He stood, and looked to Lila in the back of the room. “Lila, I know I apologized yesterday, but I’m really really sorry about outing you to your mom. I had no idea she didn’t know about your rendezvous with my father. I was just really scared that you were going to become akumatized, and I didn’t want that to happen. My friends are all important to me, and losing you would be like ripping out a piece of my heart. Could you ever forgive me?” 

Marinette glanced Nino’s face, which twitched to hide a smile. Then she looked at Lila, who looked calm, but her hands were balled into fists. 

After many breathless minutes, Lila smiled slightly. “I understand, Adrien. Of course you’re still my friend. I treasure you too! I’m sorry I got so mad.” 

“Hugs?” Plagg raised his arms. 

Lila could pretend to be happy and calm, but the paling of her skin could not be hidden. “Hugs!” 

Plagg brought her in for a squeeze, and the class ‘aww’ed at their make up. 

Except Nino, who let out the tiniest snort. 

Marinette flicked open her purse to look at Adrien. He mimed a gagging gesture back. 

And then Plagg took those last couple steps and joined Lila on her bench. No one tried to stop him. No one spoke up and said, “hey, maybe you should give her some space anyway.” 

They just all let poor, socially awkward Adrien push boundaries and take his seat. Because he had apologized so earnestly for trying to help. And she had forgiven him. So everything was fine now. 

Right?

As the lesson started, Marinette paid attention to the teacher. But occasionally, she’d hear the faintest whispers of Adrien’s voice (Plagg’s voice now). 

“...so it’s commonly believed that the Nord’s came from Atmora with Ysgramor, but they believe that they settled Skyrim, so they’re kind of racist to everyone else. But also, the Empire came in out of nowhere and tried to upheave their way of life, and even told them which Gods they were allowed to worship. High King Torygg was playing cordial with the Aldmeri Dominion, and some of the other Jarl’s didn’t like that. So Ulfric Stormcloak, the Jarl of Whiterun shouted him to death. Just like the Dragonborn can. Though it’s never explained why he knows how to do this. So this started a whole civil war…” 

Marinette chanced a glance behind her, and noticed that Lila had her head in her hands, and she looked absolutely miserable.

#ml #miraculous ladybug #adrienette #adrien and plagg #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #identity reveal #chat noir #ladybug #fanfiction #I'll Handle This

[izukult]

Okok awesome! 🖤🖤 I do have a wide variety in my music taste but artists most in my rotation are definitely Tyler the creator, Doja cat (streets?? Pls on rpt 🤤) and Arctic Monkeys, (pls don’t feel restrained by these artists tho !) very much chill vibes and driving late at night if that makes sense asjfkdkka. Personality wise I’m pretty awkward and fairly antisocial, very much ->🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️😨 but once you get to know me I’m pretty loud and a little much tbh 🤭 like my laugh is genuinely TOO loud lmaooo, and I would very much appreciate it with Kageyama if that’s not too much to ask 😳👉🏼👈🏼 thank you again 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hello my love. if i hadn’t known you, i wouldn’t have done this any kind of justice. BUT STRAP YOUR ASS IN WIFEY YOU KNOW WHAT IT BE. @chubbybunny111

you and kageyama.

oh god you and kageyama would scare the fuck out of me as a couple. have you seen those memes like boy who doesn’t talk all too much 💖 girl who loud asf? you two. LMAOOO.

definitely you two make fun of each other. on the daily. but, he also grumbles little compliments to u all nervous like. i feel like he would very much like your hair?? like,, it’s so curly,, it’s so pretty,,,, do a fella a favor and let him play with it, yeah?

i’m just imaging you in your straight clothes from high school and him in a disgusting unwashed sweaty ass volleyball uniform😻😻 IM SORRY OK ANYWAY

you two share earbuds all the time. just sittin next to each other in moderate silence with tunes playing.

he is so bad at texting LMAOOO. you’d send an ironic emoji and he’s done for? he just stares at it. blankly. void of any emotion other than confusion.

“i’m sorry did you just send ‘🤕’ after telling me you love me?”

“hey, you’re crying. why are you using 😋 right now?”

i’m sorry for making fun of him but also i’m NOT THATS SO FUNNY.

now, don’t take what i said earlier wrong, he’s not just like oh yes quiet around you (that’s not his personality people need to be better🙄), but when you two are in public he’s not like really affectionate? unless he’s jealous because he is (infact) an insecure bitch, but whenever that happens it feels forced and awkward figure that out kags.

we see the way he acts with hinata like? if he’s comfortable with you he’s going to be loud as fuck there’s no denying it. yall get told to shut up like on the daily?

shares his milk with you😁 not his food tho

LMAOFJAOFJS IM SORRY BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MANS RELATIONSHIP WITH EATING? you ain’t getting between that babe

anyway here’s a fucking playlist for your hot ass i am literally in love with you. i really like this playlist tbh :)

1. sometimes (backwood); gigi- starting off with my favorite song at the moment. this isn’t really completely a deep meaning with the lyrics thing, because this song is pretty sad? i think it’s so vibey. it’s so good. it’s just a gentle, quiet night with the windows open and a full moon. however, like i said he’s insecure and has overthought while listening to this song.

2. breezeblocks; alt-J- mostly just a banger, indeed. you’re driving (i would not trust him behind the wheel? ever?), the lights are super pretty, he’s looking at you from the passenger seat ‘discretely’. he doesn’t want you to go, so those lyrics are accurate, but he’s also not a murderer dw😁 he couldnt

3. i wanna be yours; arctic monkeys- PHEW. OKAY. OKAY JESUS CHRSIT. no because you don’t understand yall are in LOVE? like in LOVE. he probably kisses you for the first time while this shit playing. he also, by default, blushes EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON. such a lil bitch baby🙄

4. sucker; jonas brothers- stop before you say anything this song is unironically so good. i? could imagine you like? terribly dancing to this i dunno. i feel like if you got tobio in the right mood he would jam to some music w you‼️

5. EARFQUAKE; tyler, the creator- i think kageyama was like the kind of guy who mentally was constantly like “i want a gIRLFRIEND FUCK🤬🤬🤬”, but lile also once it happens? svary as fuck. have we not talked about how he does not really like himself much (thinking ab him practicing his smile rn poor baby). so yea, bad self confidence & in love with you. this song. PLUS, it’s a banger.

6. streets; doja cat- you at him lmao. do i have to say anything else?

7. ivy; frank ocean- he would put this song on a playlist for you and then not tell you about the song or the playlist and still get nervous about how youd react lmaooo. however, yknow in movies when like the guy looks at the girl and the music swells? that but with an emo volleyball player and frank ocean

8. redbone; childish gambino- very chill vibes and driving late at night energy. this song plays while yall lay on like ur couch or smth and you’re messing with the ends of his hair and he’s playing videos on his phone with one hand and like kind of awkwardly nervously trying to hold ur hand with the other and he just does the pinky thing thAT WE WERE TALKIN BOUT LMAOO

9. cocoa butter kisses; chance the rapper- i feel like if you were to smoke, this is the song you’d get high to. i don’t have much reason other than that? i can just see this playing in the background as you two exist together

10. my kind of woman; mac demarco- man, you’re really driving him mad🙄 BUT‼️ I THINK? ITS ALRIGHT WITH HIM😳. he’s absolutely whipped and he didn’t even know he had the ABILITY. i feel like you like to prove people wrong, so here’s another instance.

11. casual; doja cat- i know everyone hates getting played, but you feel like you would take a LOTTA precautions to avoid that, including the whole walls up deal. you’re super upfront about it? you’re not like secretly testing the waters, you’re like ‘if ur fucking w me gtfo of my face lol’ but clearly you wouldn’t talk to kags like that (however he’d hurriedly say he’s not a little too loud)

12. afraid; the neighbourhood- ABSOLUTE TOBIO ENERGY (also oikawa energy, i think its so cute that we are married and the mfs we choose to love r rivals). but anywho, absolute MAD tobio energy. yes he also takes out his insecurities with anger don’t actually like he’s not gonna have to work on that lmao

13. sex on fire; kings of leon- arguably one of the best songs to ever exist. he would be like ?!😳 the first time he heard it and youd probably like flick him LMAOFJAODJ this is just a good jam song for you two. he would definitely sing this song with you, don’t care don’t care

14. scary love; the neighbourhood- i’m beginning to think the neighbourhood just has kageyama energy? remind me to look into that later. either way, i’m putting extreme emphasis on this song. this song is completely how he feels. this song is IT. he watches in anticipation as he “shows you it cos it’s a good song”. please just be nice to him (while also bullying him😁)

15. when you were young; the killers- you’ve made out to this song i’m so sorry. MAYBE THATS JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECTTTTJRJEJTI SONG. god. good fucking music. equal mix of good song and the lyrics hitting

#haikyuu x reader #bunny :d #smh my wife #haikyuu playlists #ikigaitooru playlists #kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama playlist #tobio playlist #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio playlist #lol #kageyama hcs #kageyama fluff

[andrina-the-amazingsupergenius]

When in Blackpool, the Las Vegas of England || Rowdy and Randy

Summary: Andrina gets the best idea for a joke she’s ever had. 

@n0ttinghamshad0w

ANDRINA   Andrina was in Blackpool, bitches!    How did she get here? She didn’t know. It was one of those Andy-spirals that started off as a joke, then turned into a dare, then turned into a promise, then turned into a swear. She’d just been closing up shoppe in Whosits and Whatsits, checking on their stash. She’d just put on some music– Highway to Hell by AC/DC. She just pretended to play air guitar, just fell into Rob’s arms, just made out with him a little on top of Attina’s desk, when the words road trip fell out of her lips.    Wouldn’t it be so funny? she’d said. And maybe Rob said something about there being a couple of buyers who might be interested in Cruella’s finest. And couldn’t they be there, and back again, before anyone knew it?    And no she wasn’t drunk, when she started the trip, coasting along in the Whosits van.     And she wasn’t drunk when they got to Blackpool either, after midnight, and found the downtown alive and throbbing, bleeding light like a wound.    And she wasn’t drunk when she had sex with Rob in the loo of an old arcade, after completely kicking his arse at Pacman, his hair in one of her hands, her raffle tickets in the other.    She was, actually, just polishing off a cocktail when they started playing Blackjack. She was, maybe, getting a little tipsy, and a little handsy, as she watched Rob count cards and get away with it.    By the time they left, it was 3 in the morning and they were a few hundred quid richer. Andrina’s fingers were caressing the nape of Rob’s neck and she was thinking about fucking him again.   That’s when the sweet voice of Freddie Mercury caught her pinball eyes. She turned her head to the sweet rock music of Don’t Stop Me Now, and out of nowhere, Andy started laughing.    “Hey, you know what would be so funny?” Andy said, sliding her hand down Rob’s spine. She sipped at the vanilla milkshake she’d just bought cheap outta a McDonalds, and her eyes glinted when she met Rob’s own. “If we got married here.”  

ROB   This was the closest he’d been to home in ‘bout two years now.   ‘Course they weren’t even that close, mind you. ‘Course Rob wasn’t supposed to be thinkin’ of Nottingham as home. ‘Course Rob was supposed to have left Swynlake soon as the Davis job was over, find Tuck and Martin and Jo once again.    Funny how plans change.   Here he was now, pockets full of money he’d won and he’d whispered in Andrina’s ear that maybe they should consider a career in gamblin’ instead — she’d make a mad good poker pro, if he had to guess. Briefly, he entertained travelin’ the world, goin’ to casinos in Monaco and Las Vegas, places glitzier and more glamorous than lil’ Blackpool — his head spinnin’ with possibilities, with thoughts of suave suits and sparkly dresses and then Andrina spoke.   He let out a laugh. That was the furthest thing from what he was thinkin’ right now really and so amused was he that he near scooped her up and planted a kiss right on her mouth.   “Imagine the two of us gettin’ married at all,” he said, leanin’ over to take a sip of her milkshake. And ‘cuz it was a dumb joke by Andrina, he went along with it, of course, ‘cuz that’s what the two of ‘em did. It was sorta like a game. Well it was really a game — sometimes against one another, sometimes on the same team. The only rule, really, was that they had fun. And Rob did like havin’ fun.    “Here’s how it’ll go,” he said with a grin. “I’ll knock the rings off a vacationin’ couples hand — a rich one, mind you, only the best for my betrothed. And you’ll sweet talk a dress from a shop clerk who’s sweet on you, not even a dress maybe just a veil or somethin’. And we’d have to get married by that bloke over there — “ Rob pointed at the Freddie Mercury impersonator. “‘Cuz it’s not real love unless it’s sung by Freddie, you know.” 

  ANDRINA She loved this game.    Andrina actually loved a lot of things. She once thought that wasn’t the case-- that she was sort of a heartless monster (lol) and the love gene had skipped her. But since she’d started stealing things, Andrina realized that her love gene was just different. Maybe she didn’t have one or two hobbies-- maybe she had a whole bucket-full, and that was okay. Maybe she didn’t want to go on dates or get a boyfriend and maybe she really was going to be Wine Aunt. But that wasn’t failure. She wasn’t heartless.   Andrina loved nights that ended in a completely different place than they began. She loved the chaos of her room, its pieces always spread out like she was a magpie with her nest in constant creation. She hated working the counter at Whosits, but she loved sorting through the boxes of donations. She loved playing dress-up; she loved sex in public places; she loved getting in the Andrina-Zone between the hours of midnight and 4 in the morning, where the world was quiet and it zeroed in to whatever weirdo project she was working on. Those hours were Andrina at her most exhilarated, creative, blissed out. She stumbled into bed exhausted and happy as if she’d had the best sex in her life, though Andrina would tell you it was always better than sex.   She didn’t understand the thrill her sisters got from crushing on this or that person or the dreams they had about husbands, wives, kids-- even empires. But she knew what it meant to love. She didn’t think she loved Rob, but she loved the type of life he gave her. She loved that he never pushed her into stupid boxes. She loved every night like this one.   It was between the hours of midnight and 4. The Andrina-Zone. Her favourite hours.    So maybe that’s what made that particular, stupid box appeal on that night. Because it wasn’t just a box, it was a story. Rob told it so well, Andrina’s heart was suddenly pounding, she wanted to know more.    “Ooooo, the height of romance-- why, I do declare, Mr. Gardner, if I won’t just marry you right on the spot.” Andrina affected her voice into the buttery accent of a Hollywood movie star. She cooed. “I want a rock as big as the moon, Mr. Gardner! Will you steal me the moon?” She batted her eyelashes at him.    She giggled but then her eyes flashed and she was Andrina again. “I dare you. Hey, whoever gets back to the chapel first wins a prize!” 

  ROB   The game was on.   Rob tugged Andrina’s hand to his lips, pressing a fresh milkshake sticky kiss to the back of her hand, and then dropped it, giving a two-fingered salute as he backed away.   “Prize to be determined by winner — starting now!”   And off he dashed.   Sometimes, if he really wanted to get thinkin’ about things, Rob realized he was turnin’ 30 this year, which never seemed like an age he’d even get to, really. He figured he’d be caught by then, figured that like many of the blokes he’d grown up with, he’d be lost to drugs or to the cops ‘cuz of somethin’ else. But he was lucky — he was lucky and hey, he dinnit know the makeup of his DNA, but he looked enough like everyone else to get by. And he was very good at what he did and so here he was, almost 30, older than he thought he’d ever turn and still just as wild as he was at 18.   Well, he was more careful now. Dinnit draw attention to himself. Dinnit get into fights.   Instead, he slipped into crowded casinos and bars and he looked for couples sloshed outta their minds. Rings were tricky little buggers. Try a wrong hand, with someone whose ring was just tight enough, and you were easily caught. Rob waited a lil by the bar, orderin’ a drink and keepin’ an eye out for easy marks.   For the bloke — he spotted an older fella, sittin’ with a girl who had to be at least half his age. On his left hand, a wedding band. Rob kept his eye trained on this fella, ‘cuz he knew at one point this man’d slip his ring into his pocket, feelin’ too guilty about flirting with the pretty young bird with the reminder of a wife at home.   This happened quicker than Rob anticipated, which dinnit make him feel at all bad, as he brushed past and slipped his hand in the man’s jacket pocket and secured the gold ring.    It was more varied with stealin’ a women’s ring. He could check the loo, see if anyone forget their ring as they washed their hands. He could hope that there was a gal who had a similar mindset as that old bloke. But really, the  best bet in a place like this was to find a bird who was too skinny, too jittery, wearing fancy clothes and with pristine skin — someone drunk enough to say yes to a dance and not notice if in grabbin’ her hand, Rob slipped off her ring.   He spotted a bird like that, and just his luck, it was someone at a Hen party — not the bride, but another gal and everyone at Hen parties, ‘specially Hen parties thrown by rich women, wanted to dance with fit scrappy blokes. The girl in question was blonde and had massive fake tits and plump fake lips and before Rob asked her to dance, he heard her talking loudly to her friends about sendin’ back her meals last night at dinner and how she had to fire her last chauffeur for takin’ time off to see his newborn baby.   So yeah, he dinnit feel bad as he snagged the large diamond off her ring finger. She was so distracted by the fact he was whisperin’ some dumb sexy thing into her ear that she barely noticed.    Rings secured, Rob bolted back out into the night, racing to the chapel as fast as he could.    He saw Andrina right across from him, ‘bout the same distance away, and then grit his teeth and ran the remaining distance.

  ANDRINA Andrina loved games, but she loved winning more. So as Rob pulled away, she was already laughing, her victory a bright spark in each eye. They hadn’t established any rules, which meant that Andrina could cheat if she wanted. And duh, she wanted. Cheating never cheapened a victory; it sweetened it, reminding Andrina that she was clever, and she loved being clever.    And without Rob around to curb the worst of her impulses, she’d give into them.    So Andrina didn’t bother to race off into the city, to find some shoppe with its lights still on. She knew how this worked. She’d seen movies and TV and stuff (wasn’t life just like movies and TV and stuff?) Andrina slurped at her milkshake and strided toward the very chapel they were supposed to meet at.   She walked right in and up to the desk. “Hey, do you guys do, like, bridal veils and dress rentals and stuff?” she asked the man working at the counter.   The man started at the desk, looking up from his phone. His eyes were bloodshot. Ooooooh he was high as fuck. “And by stuff, I also mean weed, you have any of that too?”   “Wh--”   “I’m kidding! Kind of. I am if you are,” Andrina flashed a smile and leaned over the desk, showing off her cleavage.    “We...are a wedding chapel,” the man stated very slowly. He licked his lips. “We do have uh, tuxes and dresses available with some of our packages, listed here in the brochure…”   “Here’s the thing,” Andrina said and she leaned in even closer. “I sort of have a bet with a friend. Can I like, just borrow it?”    “Uh.”   “I’ll give you the rest of my milkshake,” Andrina sang, giving it a shake. She tilted her head and grinned. “And I won’t tell your manager you groped me.”   The man’s jaw went slack.    Ten and a half minutes later, Andrina was outside, dressed in a cheap wedding dress, with a joint between her teeth for good measure. “I WIN!” she shouted toward Rob. “By all means, take your time! Maybe I’ll just marry my new friend, Earl!” 

  ROB   “Ah, fuck,” said Rob, but he smiled and sprinted the last bit of the way. Reachin’ into his pocket, he pulled out the ring, and as he reached Andrina, he more or less crash landed onto one knee, holdin’ out that big, obnoxious rock that he’d swiped.    “Andrina Genieve Triton,” said Rob, voice all serious, as he held out the ring. “Will you do me the honor of marryin’ me?”   This was a grand game — a grand joke, yeah? Imagine scrappy Robin Hunt from Nottingham ever getin’ married. ‘Course it would be somewhere like this busted wedding chapel in Blackpool, with rings he stole. When he’d thought of marriage in the past, it seemed like somethin’ impossible: Rob was not a man who wore stuffy suits in a proper church and said bullshit lines in front of a priest. That’s what most girls wanted — maybe not a church, but a country club. Maybe not a priest, but a speech from their fathers, a best man and all that bullshit.    Andrina dinnit though. Andrina had a bloody joint in her mouth now and the wedding dress she wore looked like a Halloween costume with its gaudy jewels and plunging neckline. She looked like the best goddamn thing he’d seen in his life.   “Well whaddya say?” said Rob, still on one knee. 

  ANDRINA: The ring was gorgeous. Also, really ugly. It was both these things at the same time, and Andrina’s eyes widened at the sight of it, before she burst into laughter.    Of all the ridiculous things that Andrina had ever done in her whole life-- this was the most ridiculous. A spontaneous trip to Blackpool! Gambling, sex in the bathroom, milkshakes, Earl, a costume wedding dress! And now she was looking at some kind of Kardashian mistake of a ring-- she had no idea if any of those stones were real, because they were the kind of thing that looked so shiny and over-the-top you had to second-guess, but also maybe it was real, and Rob held in his hand more money than any of them had ever had in their bank accounts combined (and that was saying something for Andrina, Daddy’s Little Princess).    And here he was, offering it to her.    And was he serious?   Suddenly, Andrina didn’t know. Suddenly, she was looking down at the only boy who had never asked her to be anything that she wasn’t, and he was wearing that smile of his-- one that looked like he was always hiding the best part of an inside joke.    She wanted to kiss that mouth. Andrina wondered if that meant she was in love with him. She wondered it, and nothing moved inside of her. No big firework moment--  but none of the cold, clammy fear either, that had always taken her by the neck and never let her go.    She could marry this person and she didn’t think it would change anything, besides the fact that she’d have this massive, ugly ring to wave in people’s faces. Also, she could call herself Mrs. Gardner in an affected posh accent, which was always fun.    Mrs. Andrina Gardner. Or Mrs. Andrina Hunt, or whatever.    “I think I dared you first, that’s what I say,” Andrina declared. She grinned. She yanked up Rob by his collar, took the cigar out of her mouth, and planted a kiss on his lips, dirty and greedy and still tasting a little bit like milkshake.    When it broke, she stuck the cigar in Rob’s mouth, took the ring, and slid it on her hand. She fanned it in front of her face. “I’ll do it if you’ll do it,” she said. And that was definitely a yes in Andrina-speak. 

  ROB   Hell, they’d come this far and Rob wasn’t about to back out now.    Did he want to get married?   He dinnit know. Getting married was somethin’ he’d just never thought about. When Andrina kissed him though, hard and fast and sticky, he had the quick little thought that if somethin’ ever happened — if he couldn’t kiss her anymore — he’d be missin’ something more than just her lips. Not to say he wanted her to be the only person he kissed from here on out (or vice verse), but just that if he couldn’t kiss her well, then —   Look, this was all some complicated stuff to be thinkin’ about when he was supposed to be havin’ the happiest day of his life, yeah?   He didn’t answer her directly. Cigar still in his mouth, he grabbed her and lifted her up bridal style and spun around a little, before marching right into the chapel.   “Oi!” he said to the greasy-lookin’ bloke at the counter. “We’re here to get married! Where do we do that at?”   Determined not to put Andrina down till the moment they were in front of whatever sorta makeshift aisle they had in this horrendous lookin’ building. The greasy bloke grabbed some forms and led them through a door, down to a room dressed up in pink gawdy hearts and flowers and floatin’ lil naked babies.   He plopped Andrina down then and extended his arm to her.   “Ready?” he asked. There was still a teasin’ look in his eye, of course, but it was coupled with just a bit of seriousness. ‘Cuz here they were, here he was with Andrina wearin’ some trashy rental gown and ring he’d nicked at a nightclub, lookin’ at him like he was a prize she just won at a carnival. He looked at her and he felt… well happy.    Ahem. He turned away, shouting at greasy fellow.   “Can we get a wedding march here? Or something dancey? I wanna do this proper, mate. Only the best for the love of my life.”   

ANDRINA: Rob lifted her up and Andrina squealed, instantly kicking her feet as if she was trying to escape. Rob’s grip was firm though. He had her locked in his arms. Locked down, some might say-- hardy har har, marriage is an oppressive institution that people still willingly entered despite a shitton of sexist comments and attitudes!!!!!!!    But Andrina could escape if she wanted. Elbow Rob in the face and give the bugger a nosebleed and call the whole thing off. She’d even laugh it off and make it impossible for Rob to get mad at her. She knew how to play her cuteness as a shield like that.   But she didn’t want to escape.    She kind of wanted to get married. Why not? It wasn’t permanent. No matter what anyone said, marriage was a checkbox, and Andrina could check it off tonight, and erase it tomorrow.    But she wanted to say, at least once, she’d been married. In Blackpool. On a whim. To the love of her life-- or maybe not-- but certainly to a lad she liked more than she’d ever liked any boy. So she struggled only to make this more fun, and if she was playing a part, she was playing damsel, for once. God knows she’d never play that part again.    And then it was time, and she clicked down onto her boot heels and flipped her hair. She pretended to sniff snootily and tugged down at her sweater as though she was adjusting some kind of fancy bodice. Then she weaved her arm through Rob’s and waited for the music.    The wedding march sounded and Andrina turned to Rob with her Serious (™) face on.    “Race you down the aisle,” she said, Seriously.   And then she darted down the aisle, yelping as she felt the veil stuck in her hair give way a little. She reached up to secure it, and nearly tripped over the cheap dress. Rob caught her, and then they were laughing again, spinning the rest of the way, to the intolling organs and a bored looking for-hire officiant at the other end.    When they arrived, she was out of breath, but grinning. She flashed her ring at the officiant. “Pretty, innit?”   “Beautiful,” deadpanned the very bored bloke. She wondered if this place paid more than McDonalds or Starbucks. Hmm, back-up options for a career… “Ahem. We are gathered here today--”   “Wait! Rob, play my dad for a second. You gotta give me away.” She said and elbowed him in the side. 

  ROB   “Right, o’course,” said Rob without a moment’s hesitation. He darted back down to the end of the aisle. The rent-a-preacher stared at the both of them. Rob extended his arm out to Andrina and did his very best JEFF Triton impression.   “You look beautiful, darling,” he said, making his voice deeper which wasn’t necessarily how JEFF sounded, but it sounded vaguely what Rob imagined fathers to sound like. “I’m so happy that you’ve found someone for you.”   He didn’t know what fathers said to daughters on their wedding days, but he imagined it went something like that.   Puffing out his chest, he stomped down the aisle as the music played again. The bored pastor, preacher, random official person sighed.   “Are you ready now?” he asked.   Rob saluted, still pretending to be JEFF, and then took his place as Rob. He clasped his hands together like a groom in a movie, even though he was wearing a Dead Kennedys t-shirt and some old worn jeans, he pretended he was in some fancy tuxedo.    “Ahem. So, like I said we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony...did you wanna do your own vows or just do the ‘for better or worse’ bit?”   “Nah I can do my own,” said Rob. He wasn’t about to say some church bullshit. He cleared his throat as the pastor bloke man person went about all the other    “Andrina,” said Rob, clearing his throat. “You’re absolutely batshit and I say that as someone who’s too hard to handle for literally every person in the world I've met before. You’re sexy and fun, but you’re also my partner in crime.” A smirk here, ‘cuz that was literal eyooo.    “And you know, “ Rob continued, a little more sincere now if you knew what to listen for, but you’d have to really know what to listen for in Rob’s voice. “I don’t think there’s been many girls in my life I’ve wanted to never stop kissin’ but I never wanna stop kissin’ you. I promise I’ll always be down to do something as wild as gettin’ married in this chapel and I promise we’ll never be bored. Or maybe we will be, but we’ll find somethin’. I love you — “    It slipped out and he couldn’t stop now, so he just grinned as he talked hopin’ she’d also find it like a joke (or hopin’, maybe that she didn’t).    “And I’d steal a million pounds for you and you know it, babe.”    “Lovely,” said the pastor, then turning to Andrina.   

ANDRINA: It was a joke as they waltzed down the aisle the second time, Andrina taking long, serious strides, trying to remain smooth-faced.   It was a joke as Robbie jumped to the front, smoothed a hand down his front, clasped his hands together.   It was a joke as Andrina climbed up to meet him, lifting her chin before sticking out a tongue for a split second before the officiant finished his cliche, scripted speech.   It was a joke as Robbie started his vows.   But it wasn’t a joke for long.   Andrina couldn’t trace where the slippage happened. But Rob’s smirk faded at some point and suddenly she was noticing the color of his eyes, which she’d never noticed before. She was not the type to note shit like that. That was for Tiny and Dell, even Lana to a point. Andrina only cared about how smart a boy was. If she was in the mood, she’d pick a stupid lad to get her off, finding the most embarrassing, neanderthal dirty talk a strange turn on-- like watching shitty porn on purpose. Other times, she picked someone a little wittier, who could keep up with her jabs-- good not just for the fuck, but for the foreplay.   Rob was obviously the latter. She loved his mouth, kissed it plenty of times, felt it on her neck, her breasts, between her legs. She liked when he talked and when he didn’t-- when he chuckled, when he smirked, when he sucked on a lolly she nicked for him from the market.    But now she was looking in his eyes and her stomach fluttered. Butterflies, for the first time, here on her wedding day.   She could blame the wedding for them. Blame her veil and the fake stained glass behind Rob and the big rock on her finger. It was all just an illusion. She didn’t really feel… she didn’t actually…   But maybe she did.   And suddenly there was a before and an after. There was a split in Andrina’s roads. She saw it clearly, her life behind her-- a life of seven sisters, never enough space, and always drama she was obligated to participate in. She’d leave Blackpool and return to it. The idea crushed her. She was suffocating right here, right now, which is usually how she felt when a boy, any boy, looked her dead in the eye like this and told her that they liked her-- except Rob was doing that right now and all she wanted to do was fling her arms around his neck and beg him to steal her away next.    Don’t make her go back to that fucking town, to all those sisters, to her shitty apartment and the dinners she had to show up to like reporting for the army, to her dead-end job, to Attina’s depression. Please, dear god, no.    Her marriage was a getaway car. Rob was driving. Andrina was calling shotgun and hopping the fuck in.    “I think vows are overrated,” she said. “But I promise that you are the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.” And she looked to the officiant. “Okay, say the thing.”   “Oh-- that’s all--?”   “Yeah. Chop chop buddy!” Andrina said with a hand wave. “This is the happiest day of my life, helloooooo!”    “Er--right. I now pronounce you--”   Andrina flung her arms around Rob’s neck and kissed him before he could finish. 

  ROB   Rob kissed Andrina back, picking her up a little and swingin’ her around. And ‘cuz why do this if he didn’t do this the right way, he picked up Andrina’s legs and carried her in his arms, like they were somethin’ out of a movie or somethin’.   Ha. Rob Hunt from Nottingham Orphanage never thought he’d be worthy of a movie. Not that this shitty chapel and these stolen rings and this rent-a-pastor were worthy of a movie. They were all shams, hacks, more reflective of Rob, really. But Andrina — Andrina was a real thing, better than any dumb movie endin’ because she had a wicked smile and sometimes in the morning her breath smelled and sometimes in the night she kicked, but she was smart and she never stopped, ever, and the mask Rob wore always somehow disppeared with her.    Also she was sexy as fuck.   He spun Andrina around a little, givin’ a bit of a woop, the gave her a proper snog. It was sticky and messy, the sort kiss that horny teenagers in the back of a car kissed. And what of it? He couldn’t wait to go back to the van and shag his wife.   “Hey, uh, sorry but you’ve got to sign these forms and stuff,” said the rent-a-preacher, holding up some papers. “It’s real quick, I promise. Sorry shoulda done it before but — “ “Yeah,  yeah, just bring it here,” said Rob, dropping Andrina down and grabbing the pen to quickly sign because, okay, the primary thing on his mind right now was sex.

  ANDRINA: Andrina was also thinking about a car-shag-- a back-of-a-van shag, actually, was more accurate. Her thighs were already trembling, desire as hot as the rest of her blood. If she stepped back from herself, she’d maybe realize it was the adrenaline from what might have been some kind of mental breakdown or dissociative episode. Because, her! Andrina! A wife!   Honesty, this was her most brilliant joke yet. Wait until she told her sisters.    (This thought instantly led to a short-circuit, and the Nyan Cat Video played on repeat.)   First though, right. Paperwork. This was another chance for Andrina to rewind this whole insane episode and decide she wasn’t going to be a wife after all. But Rob grabbed for the pen without hesitating, and fuck if she was going to prove to be a coward in the last ten seconds of the biggest Andrina-prank ever concocted.    Plus, she got bragging rights, she supposed, being the first sister to ever marry.    That was kind of a fucked up thing to think.    But it’s true, went the little voice in her head. As Andrina signed her name with a flourish, something very pleased inside her stretched itself out and started purring. A smile slid across her face. No one thought it’d be you, Andrina. Yeah, maybe this is a mental breakdown. Or maybe you finally found out who you’re supposed to be.   “Should I take your name?” Andrina said as she straightened up. She wiggled her veil off so she could plop it on Rob’s head instead, stepping forward to adjust it carefully. “Andrina Gardner. But that isn’t even your real name right? Well, that’s kind of hot. A fake-new last name. Or maybe you can take my last name-- it can be your new fake name. Or like, fake-real name. Rob Triton.” Her eyes moved from the veil down to his own. She smiled. It was her softest smile of the whole night. “What do you think?”   ROB   Rob had no attachment to his name. He slipped on and off his name like it was a scarf of some sort. Sometimes he forgot Robert Gardner wasn’t a real person; sometimes he forgot Robin Hunt was one. Sometimes, he forgot that once he went by Oliver and also that was his legal middle name.   “Well, you can’t marry Robert Gardner ‘cuz he ennit real,” said Rob, cheerfully, tossing the veil over his shoulder. The rent-a-pastor looked massively confused, but Rob paid him no mind. It’s not like this bloke was gonna do a deep investigation into Robert Gardner. That name was so common, Rob had chosen it for a reason.    Sometimes Robert Gardner felt more real to him than Robin Hunt. Robin Hunt was a name chosen by a system, a name written on paperwork and run through computers. A name he’d shed because the baggage of being Robin Hunt was too heavy for him to carry.    A name he sometimes felt guilty about leaving behind.   But he needed to pick up new ones. He had to keep evolving. Stay still and he’d die.   He looked at Andrina now, his mouth cocking up into a smile.    “But I can marry Andrina Triton. I’ve never had a real name of my own, so I might as well take yours, yeah? I don’t need to be Robert or Robin. Just Rob. Time to reinvent myself — “   He took the paper and signed Rob Triton  with a flourish.   “There we go — who’d thought you’d make a new, honest man outta me, eh?” 

  ANDRINA Andrina stared down at Rob Triton and felt something. That something didn’t have any name that she knew. It tickled, and if she thought about it too much, she suspected it might feel a little bit like heartburn.    Here’s what she did know: that something made her want to take this piece of paper with Rob Triton written on it, tear it up into pieces, shove it into her mouth, and eat it.    That’s how much she loved seeing it written out like that, the idea of not belonging to Rob at all-- but him belonging to her.   Instead of giving into her weirdo, paper-cannibalistic desire, she swept up the paper, folded it neatly and then reached under her dress, hiking the whole thing up. She hadn’t taken off her jeans, see. So she could just slip the paper in the back pocket. She let the dress back down and then slipped her arm through Rob’s own.    “Okay Mr. Triton. I think we need to consummate our marriage,” she winked at him.    The officiant grimaced.    “Chill out, we won’t do it here,” Andrina said and giggled. “We have a very on-brand sex van. Let’s make the most of it. Maestro, play the wedding march!”   “We don’t really do that on the way down the aisle…”   “Nevermind!” Andrina exclaimed and she tugged Rob down anyway-- and together they skipped their way back out into the early hours of a Blackpool morning.

#rowdy and randy #para

[aurulenthuntsman]

AURYHN: *what's more romantic than spontaneity, auryhn asks himself... nothing! nothing at all! that's the logic behind auryhn's sudden appearance at kavi's apartment, holding a bouqet of blue roses in his hand and a very important message in his mind. he messes with his hair a little bit before drawing in a deep breath, straightening up his posture and knocking confidently on the door before him.* ~}==>

KAVI: *He's been relaxing a little bit, there's no shoot today and he's just been.... building things. He's not much of a gardener but that seems to be a thing in this building he can at least try it. So first of all he needs a planter. But oh... a visitor. Alright. Takes off his silk wrap, leaves the robe open. Bunny slippers. Always good. Opens up the door* .... oh *blue roses, blue troll, standing tol*

KAVI: *leans against his doorframe* howdy there

KAVI: *is the robe showing enough leg, but he doesn't pose... that much*

AURYHN: Good evening, Kavi! ~}==>

AURYHN: *beaming from ear to ear just looking at him... what a nerd* I do hope I'm not interuppting anything ~}==>

KAVI: *He is a nerd Kavi is too though, grinning at him and slips back into the apartment* nah you're good man, come on in

KAVI: i was just messin with some stuff

KAVI: make yourself cozy

AURYHN: Don't mind if I do! But first... ~}==>

AURYHN: *offers him the bouqet. pretty flowers for a pretty boy... he winks.* ~}==>

KAVI: *gaassssp* for moi???? *he takes them and also the wink... hello* what's the occasion?

KAVI: walked by the shop and they reminded you of my eyes *bats lashes*

AURYHN: Actually, that is partially accurate! Blue roses always remind me of you ~}==>

AURYHN: *saunters on inside now* As for my motivation... Do I really need a reason to shower you in gifts? ~}==>

AURYHN: *he says this but also... haha, he's slightly flushed now.* ~}==>

KAVI: *he's not the only one, Kavi listens to that and laughs a little before guiding him to the sofa then going to get a good vase for these flowers* lol i mean... i guess not

KAVI: wasn't expecting company either but i guess that's part of the gift too

KAVI: yknow

KAVI: presence

KAVI: for presents

KAVI: a little p4p

KAVI: i'm into it and it's appreciated

KAVI: yours especially

KAVI: it's a good p4p

AURYHN: *sits his booty onto the couch, folding his hands into his lap* Oh, I'm glad you think so ~}==>

AURYHN: ... *watches kavi bustles around for a vase and then CLEARS THROAT* ~}==>

AURYHN: Actually, there is more that I would like to... present to you... ~}==>

KAVI: oh snap... gifts on gifts on gifts *gives these roses fresh water in the nice vase he got for a housewarming and thought he'd never use well dang here it goes. Then comes to sit with Auryhn*

KAVI: *plops.. peeps his body language..* what's up?

AURYHN: *oh geez, he's here next to him now, which makes spitting it out considerably more difficult.* Ahem... Well, I wanted to tell you... Something ~}==>

AURYHN: *turns towards him, rigid but looking determined* Something I've wanted to tell you for quite some time... But I never found the right opportunity ~}==>

AURYHN: So I decided that I should make that opportunity! ~}==>

AURYHN: *takes kavi's hands, intense stare unfaltering* I... ~}==>

AURYHN: Feel quite STRONGLY about you ~}==>

AURYHN: ... ~}==>

AURYHN: /ROMANTICALLY/ ~}==>

KAVI: *oop there go his hands and suddenly it's all real. Well it was real from the get go but this is happening, the that kind of realness. but it's good, and scary. But good and pretty goddamn scary. Takes a few seconds processing all this, his mind probably going a million miles an hour before he just gets all red in the face* uh.....

KAVI: same?

KAVI: i mean

KAVI: same

KAVI: like

KAVI: .... with what you're saying

KAVI: so i mean

KAVI: that's a yay moment

KAVI: it's a good yay

KAVI: i'm, uh, shit

KAVI: well no not that but i mean like i know and it's the same and i think i wanna

KAVI: not .... jump in, ass first, like i do so i can't... fuck it up ass first??? *mmmmmmmself*

KAVI: ok wait, take 2, simplified version...... striking all that

KAVI: ............ actually "same" sums it up

AURYHN: *well, there he GOES. but auryhn doesn't mind, completely endeared to these Kavi Brand Rants and he listens with shiny eyes. a grin widens across his face as he, too, processes what he's being told, and gives kavi's hands a squeeze.* HA HA, that's a relief! ~}==>

AURYHN: Ah, but I understand... I would prefer not to rush, as well ~}==>

AURYHN: As eager as I am to pursue a rel8tionship, I would also like to be given the opportunity to COURT you PROPERLY ~}==>

KAVI: *Thank god Auryhn is used to this.... which he's not really that mortified to say. It's nice honestly* lol oh shit.... you mean we're gonna have some pre-game match-ups?

KAVI: going a few rounds before the superbowl?

KAVI: sports

AURYHN: That's one way to put it! But if that's the case, please forgive me if I get a little too competitive with myself and try to make each "match-up" more impressive than the last ~}==>

AURYHN: *snickers so gleefully. the relief and joy is giving him butterflies...* ~}==>

KAVI: *he's totally serious..... of course's he's serious it's Auryhn but he's also never been just courted through the whole nines, it's keeping the color in his face as he laughs* hahaha... man well shit i might have to do my fair share of courting....

KAVI: it'll be like tennis but, somehow, more intimate

KAVI: i can think of a few things you might wanna do.... *shrugs one shoulder while grinning* idk

KAVI: it'll be nice.. it'll be fun *squeezes his hands back now trying to hold them*

AURYHN: *shifts his hands to meet kavi's movements, lacing their fingers together.* It will be fun ~}==>

AURYHN: I always have fun when I'm with you ~}==>

KAVI: hahaha....... *watches their fingers lace and grins a bit sheepishly* same .... back to the whole p4p

KAVI: as if you didn't already know your presence was a present :P

AURYHN: *lifts head proudly. this is where he would sparkle, if he could do that on common.* I can't help being so confident! ~}==>

AURYHN: I have a lot of good things going for me, after all ~}==>

AURYHN: Most recently, a very handsome date mate! ~}==>

AURYHN: *he just can't STOP* ~}==>

KAVI: *Dangit Auryhn.... he snickers and lowers their hands scooting a bit closer* oh you don't say? and i mean don't say it

KAVI: i'll get jealous :P

KAVI: there's only enough room for one two apples in those eyes mister and i'm sittin on em

AURYHN: OH PLEASE! As if anyone could compare to you to begin with... Which I know you're WELL aware of ~}==>

AURYHN: *laughs, carefully scooting at him too... hello there* ~}==>

KAVI: oh, i am aware of it, still i have to play the role right?

KAVI: bein all aghast

KAVI: how dare

KAVI: who's the slut?

KAVI: surprise it was me

KAVI: the whole time

KAVI: plot twist of the century

KAVI: sintury

KAVI: like s i n

AURYHN: *snorts...* How dare you? I won't have you speak ill of yourself like that! I must DEFEND YOUR HONOR AT ALL COSTS ~}==>

KAVI: lmao are you gonna fight me? *leans on*

KAVI: are you gonna 1v1 me in the pit for talking shit about your number one

KAVI: (who is also me)

AURYHN: Don't think I won't! If only because I'm sure you would enjoy a lively tussle with me ~}==>

AURYHN: *GUFFAWS* ~}==>

KAVI: .... i mean...... *squeezes his hand, grins* i would though

KAVI: i'm in a robe but i can still throw down

KAVI: arguably i can throw down better in a robe

AURYHN: Then I suppose it becomes a matter of whether you would rather have a relaxing evening in for our first date, or a wrestling match ~}==>

KAVI: lmao i mean why not both?

KAVI: maybe something pretty chill 

KAVI: but with us i don't think chill and calm and quiet is gonna be a problem =HA, could you imagine=

AURYHN: I couldn't imagine it happening any other way! ~}==> 

AURYHN: Quiet roughhousing it is ~}==> -their hands are already entwined, so it's like they're already grappling? he leans toward kavi, pressing their foreheads together like he's butting heads, all with a big grin on his face.-

KAVI: =Oh man, it's basically the most intense grappling ever. He likes Auryhn's war grimace, very cute intimidating. He snickers as their foreheads bump together, nerves no doubt= 

KAVI: (can't let the neighbors on....) =Soft mumble then leans forward because you know.... fuck it? He's kind of excited and minorly nervous for realsies but Auryhn is getting a kiss that's been on hold for years=

AURYHN: -he had been trying to restrain himself from making the very same move, so it's a relief on many levels when kavi closes the distance between them. he practically melts into it while his heart races. finally, this is happening, and it's even sweeter than all the times he's imagined it over the years.- 

AURYHN: -he's got a lot of passion bubbling up in his chest and stomach, bringing heat to his head that makes it difficult for him to think of anything else but the way kavi feels beside him. his fingers unlace only so he can cup the other's cheeks in his palms instead, pressing their lips together with more fervor.-

KAVI: =Hello there passion and affection. Things he's more or less made himself focus off of but even with these too familiar feelings and motions it feels almost new. Being with someone again. His face is warm, cheeks still carrying the heat of a flush he had previously. It's a good feeling to be touched by someone, even better it being someone he's wanted to touch for years= 

KAVI: =His own hands find support on Auryhn's thigh as he leans in and happily deepens the kiss with smile and soft huff of laughter. Lip wrestling falls in the Brawl Family. He's 100% sure of it=

AURYHN: -well, if kavi is going to laugh then it's going to infect him, especially when he already has butterflies tickling at his stomach. he tries to maintain the kiss, to no avail.- What's so funny? ~}==> -ASKS while ALSO giggling.-

KAVI: =Still stays close then snickers a bit more as Auryhn giggles= a lot of things are funny, a long list man and it's all opinion based 

KAVI: but... =licks his lips and gives another small laugh= i'm just, pretty giddy 

KAVI: like a dork but surprise i was a dork all along too late now though

AURYHN: -gasps!- I've been bamboozled! All this time I was lead to believe your only endearing traits were your handsome face and your cool, collected attitude ~}==> 

AURYHN: How FOOLISH I was... Now I know you are also an adorable DORK ~}==> 

AURYHN: HA! Can you imagine? Of course I already knew that ~}==>

KAVI: =grinning wide= i have no goddamn clue how you figured that out but i'll let you in on a secret.... 

KAVI: =leans to his ear..... shoulder pat. Pat pat= 

KAVI: (it gets worse buddy) 

KAVI: (sorry not sorry, mostly not)

AURYHN: -oh, hello desire, invading his brain from a playful whisper alone...- Ha ha... ~}==>

AURYHN: Of course you shouldn't apologize! That's precisely what I'm here for ~}==> -counters his Feelings with a chaste kiss to kavi's cheek... and a little nuzzle. he's an affectionate spider horse.-

KAVI: =Good because he craves affection and attention literally all the time. So it's really great to be getting that, leans into the nuzzle and reciprocates with one of his own. Actually he's just all in Auryhn's space.... which is normal but here he is, legs crossed and cuddling up on his arm= 

KAVI: for me to be unapologetically terrible on you in good ways, understandable. we can definitely arrange all of that

AURYHN: Thank goodness that we are on the same page! Now please, don't hesitate  to continue... I will be doing much the same ~}==> 

AURYHN: -loops his arms around him then, pulling him in for maximum cuddles. it's a relaxed position, so auryhn hopes he will cool his own jets, just enjoying the two of them together.-

KAVI: if you insist =maximum cuddles is him getting up in Auryhn's lap. Crosses legs here legmoji  = here's me ft moderate hesitation

AURYHN: -WELL, SO MUCH FOR RESTRAINT. excuse him if one hand rests on kavi's back while the other ends up on the side of his thigh. TO STEADY HIM, NATURALLY.- AURYHN: INDEED, THERE YOU ARE ~}==> -sweats-

KAVI: =Naturally.= you just cranked it almost all the way up, but not quite to 11 

KAVI: by the by this is a technical pin, the referee is counting you down and out, my guy

AURYHN: I never stood a chance, it would seem ~}==> 

AURYHN: I should have known better  than to face off against you! ~}==> -entirely too flustered, he leans in for another kiss. he's gotta.-

KAVI: =Good then he's not posing for nothing, he's here for all the kisses he can get. Cupping Auryhn's face with his other arm wrapped around his shoulders, you know for the support thing= 

KAVI: =Auryhn's not just getting one kiss, he's getting two small kisses and then a longer one=

#decastichAmazifier #in which CONFESSIONS #time skip log