#theres no end in itself - there is no OBLIGATION

[gyuswhore]

Dahlia

🎁 Em Birthday + Dino Mixtape Special 🎁

PAIRING: lee chan x reader

SYNOPSIS: When Chan brings you a bouquet filled with promises and hope to begin your birthday, you're happy to accept them with the love they come with. Chan, however, is quick to remind you that the flowers were only the beginning.

CONTAINS: fluff, smut (MINORS DNI) bikerboyfriend!chan, fem!bodied reader, soaked chan (literally), tiny bit of crying (happy tears!!), loads of acts of service, making out, handjobs, breast play, clit stimulation, fingering (f. rec), penetration, chan wont let reader breathe kjgfnekfjn, these two are so in love it gets sappy at the end lmk if theres anything else

WORD COUNT: 4.4K

masterlist

[AN]: if yall didnt think that insane meltdown i had on the tl a while ago wasnt gonna spawn into this, you would be crudely mistaken. ANYWAY in honour of em day falling on dixtape release day i present to you this thing i wrote out of the worst brainrot ive had in a very long time. have fun with channie lol

“Thank you!” Chan yells behind him to the flower shop owner as he walks out, the small tinkle of the door chime making itself known despite the near midnight time. Chan checks his watch as he approaches his motorcycle that stands on the empty sidewalk: 11:38 PM.

He might be able to make it, swinging his leg over the seat as he thanks his luck that he was able to catch the last florist before she closed for the day. The owner sends him a smile as she begins her own trek to her car, lights out. 

Revving his engine to life, he attempts to tuck the bouquet into his riding jacket, praying the delicate petals would hold up during the short ride to your place. His helmet is strapped on within seconds as he kicks up his stand to take off into the empty streets, making a beeline for your apartment. He stops at a red light, taking the chance to check his watch again: 11:47 PM. 

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath, whipping his head around to check the ghostly empty streets of the intersection. He briefly wonders if he can afford a ticket when he sees the droplets fall on his gloved hands. 

“No. No, no, no, come on!” The light turned green as the rain began to thunder down onto his helmet, seeping through the collar of his jacket and trickling down his skin. He pushes away a shudder, trying not to shiver in the now even colder November night, wanting nothing more than to get to your place as quickly as possible. 

The rain grows nothing but stronger as he finds himself needing to wipe his shield every few seconds, his desperation increasing with the strong winds. By the time he’s kicking his stand and yanking his helmet off, the pour seems to have slowed itself to a drizzle, something he thinks he would’ve appreciated just a few minutes ago. In the few seconds it took him to kill the engine and inspect his flowers, the slow droplets infiltrated his hair, too. 

The flowers are soaked, Chan finds out soon enough as he inspects the droplets that have collected on the short petals of the red dahlias he’s picked out. He dumps the bouquet upside down to pour out the accumulated water onto the pavement, watching the amount of liquid that continues to spill out. 

So much for the flowers holding up. 

“I think you need some flowers for your water,” Chan flicks his sopping wet hair off his forehead to look up at the sound of your voice, eyes meeting your delighted face over your low window. 

He glances back down at the water-specked flowers, and hears a ghost of a chuckle escape him. Chan realizes in the moment how frazzled he looks, dripping wet with a thing of dejected flowers in his grip. 

You’re still smiling at the sight, “Come up before the hypothermia sets in, idiot.” 

He’s quick to oblige, bounding inside despite the droplets he leaves in his wake, checking his watch in a glance: 11:58 PM. You’re quick to open the door for him just as he reaches your place on the first floor, folds upon folds of bath towels in your arms. 

“You look like a wet dog,” you snort, laying down a towel for him to step inside on. 

“Wait!” he yells, and you freeze in your crouched spot. You’re slow to come back up, watching him stare intently at his watch. 

11:59 PM… 12:00 AM.

His face breaks out into a big smile, causing you to mimic his elated expression. He grabs your limp hand and thrusts the bouquet into your hands. 

“Happy birthday, babe.”

You can’t help but huff out a little laugh. The sight of dripping hair, sodden socks on a towel, his hand that pushes the flowers into your own, all complete with a stupidly accomplished look on his face. 

You push forward, flowers in hand, as you wrap your arms around his neck in a tight embrace. Pushing your chest into his, you leave no room between what your clothing would allow. It’s wet. Really wet. You can feel your shirt grow warm under the retention, but you pay no mind as you continue clinging to him with all you have. 

“Thank you, Chan.” He can hear the elation in your voice, and it’s enough to make it all worth it. He hugs you back, cautious at first, but relents when he realizes you don’t care about coming out of the hug as soaked as him. It isn’t until you feel the unnatural cold of the tip of his nose kiss your neck that you realize he’s probably freezing. So you pull away, albeit reluctantly. 

He keeps his hands on your hips as you continue, “Let’s get you dried up first.” 

Thus, a freshly washed and clothed Chan exits the bathroom, finding you in the kitchen huddled over the island. It isn’t until he’s engulfed you completely from behind, arms coming to pull you into his bare chest, that he sees what you’re doing. The crimson flowers had been tended to, placed into a pretty vase as you fiddle with the petals to spread them into a pleasing arrangement. 

“It’s freezing, Chan, put a shirt on!” you gasp as you turn around to realize your boyfriend is sporting nothing but trousers and a towel around his neck. 

“In a minute,” he mumbles as he drops his forehead to your shoulder. 

Running your fingers through his wet hair, you attempt to comb them out. “Why didn’t you stop when it started raining? You catch colds so easily.”

“I was running late, and the flower shop fucked my order. It was my fault. Spent ages trying to find one open that had these ones.” 

“You still could’ve stopped.”

“And miss being the first to say happy birthday? Fat chance.” 

You sigh as you give in to him. “Thank you. For testing your immune system for me.”

He snorts at the comment, coming back up to face you, forearms resting on the counter as he pushes your body against the edge. He glances at the flowers briefly.

“This wasn’t the end of it. We still have another twenty-four hours to go,” he murmurs. “The rest of the surprises will be less chaotic, I promise.” 

“It’s not you if there’s no chaos,” you comment with an undertone. “I’ll like anything you give me, no matter how chaotic or calmly you deliver it.”

He hums for a moment, and you sense the mischief coming from a mile away. The half-serious warning leaves you before you can help it, “Don’t make me eat my words.”

He barks out a laugh at that, coming in to capture your frown in a momentary kiss, giving you one peck after another. You stand in each other’s arms for a long while, barefoot in the kitchen, as you talk about your plans for when the sun eventually comes up. Most of which Chan refused to relay to you anyway, so you were really just making guesses. 

His drying hair doesn’t leave your fingers throughout, combing through the strands as you massage his scalp along the way. He melts under the touch, moving the towel around his shoulder way so you can rest your arms on him. He falters slightly at the feeling as he continues to talk. 

You can’t help but notice the wonders the kitchen light seems to be doing for him, the blue-ish glaze illuminating the highs of his face and hair, the glowing lines moving past his neck to his shoulders, and undoubtedly casting the rest of the ridges of his body aglow — you aren’t sure if you can handle finding out if you gaze any lower. The little you can see of his eyes past the flop of hair that covers them is sparkling in the low light. 

Chan doesn’t stop you as you slot your mouth against his, taking the way the light illuminated his lips as a sign. He’s equally as quick to reciprocate, moving his mouth against yours, almost more eager than you. His hands have left their place on the counter and move to grip your hips instead, pushing your lower half against him with a force that has you breaking away from his lips. 

He doesn’t stop, moving his mouth down to leave his own open-mouthed kisses on your jaw as you grip his bare bicep, a content sigh leaving your lips. 

“Have a really pretty thing waiting for you when you wake up,” he whispers delicately in your ear, placing a kiss on your earlobe. “The nice satin thing you’ve been eyeing for a while.” 

Your breath stops short in your chest, the thought of the pretty piece of lingerie you briefly mentioned you liked a while ago. 

“Chan,” you groan at the thought. 

He continues to mumble with a slight chuckle, “Don’t know if that’s a present for me or you.”

His hands have migrated everywhere at this point, moving up to squeeze of your breasts in his hold, his other hand continuing to run over your ass and hips. It’s your own hands that drift past his abs to toy with the drawstrings of his pants when you begin to fall impatient, needing to feel him. 

Feeling his hard-on through his underwear is easy, and you wonder how long he’s actually been horny with how defined you can already feel him to be. You watch as he grinds into your palm, groaning into your neck at the feeling. You continue your ministrations through his boxers till you feel him wrap his hand around your forearm to yank it out of his pants. 

“I’m not fucking you on the kitchen counter,” he says, pulling you out of the blue fluorescent lights and into the hall to your bedroom. 

It’s easier for him to discard your clothing with the space he’s given, yanking your shirt off to leave you in your barely-there sleeping shorts. Sparing no second, you watch him push off the soft plush of the mattress, moving away to get rid of his own clothing. 

Chan’s lips meet yours once again as he hovers over you on the bed, continuing to feel up your sides as he shoves his tongue into your mouth, massaging it over your own as he continues to push you up the bed. 

You arch your back, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra, only to find him beating you to it as he unhooks it, flinging the padding somewhere amongst the flown clothes on the floor. The cold hits your chest in a way that has you gasping, his hands immediately cupping over both your breasts before attaching his mouth to a nipple. His other hand toys with your other nipple, rolling the perked bud between his fingers before running his thumb over it repeatedly. It’s so easy to zero in on the feeling of his tongue gliding over the sensitive area, the contrast of his warm mouth, and the air that hits the glistening surface of your skin. You can’t help but hum, hands grazing over his own that pinch and press into your other nipple. 

You realize soon enough that his knees are spread just wide enough for you to shove your own leg in between, bringing your knee up to grind it slowly against his crotch, feeling him through his underwear. The motion comes unprovoked, a vibrating groan escaping him as he cursed against your skin. 

“Fuck, babe, you’re so impatient.”

Removing his mouth from your chest, he pushes your knee down in haste to give himself room to pull down your shorts, pushing your thighs apart when he’s done as he kneels back. His gaze wanders across your near-bare body, his thumb rubbing circles into your hip as he locks you in place. His eyes hover but choose to remain on the visibly darkened patch on your panties. You feel his fingers move slowly, ghosting over the insides of your thighs, moving ever so close to where you screamed for him. 

Right as you’re about to say something out of growing frustration, he hooks his fingers under the waistband of the final obstruction, pulling them down your legs to expose yourself to him completely. His unprovoked compliance comes as a bit of a shock to you, but you assume he’s being nice for the sake of your birthday (not that you’re complaining – anything that gets him in your pants faster counts as an automatic win in your book) 

You can feel him massage the skin of your thighs as he stares, making sure you keep your legs wide open for him. His gaze doesn’t wander, you find, locked in as he bites his bottom lip at the sight. His eyes hold a dangerous lace, one that you wish he’d unleash. He all but pushes your thighs even further to get a better look at your undoubtedly sopping wet cunt. It took a lot for you to not attempt to bring your knees together despite the embarrassment – you know he liked to look. 

“Chan.” His name leaves your lips in a desperate attempt to get him to do something, anything. His lips all but lift into a curl of trouble.

“What is it, baby?” 

“Please,”

“Please, what? I know it’s your birthday, princess, but I won’t know what you want if you won’t tell me.” His eyes graze over your contorted expression, urging you to say it. “Say it, my love.”

“Chan,” you whine. “Touch me. Please.” 

His grin morphs into something downright diabolical as he taps your hips. “Get up, baby. On my lap.” 

Chan pushes his back on the headboard as he invites you on his lap, your hips over his thighs as the rest of your body lays on the sheets. 

It isn’t until then that he finally migrates his hand, placing his middle finger on your clit, spreading your lips apart with his pointer and ring finger. He grazes over it lightly as he moves down to your hole, feeling the pool of arousal that’s accumulated in the area. He gathers your arousal on his fingers, moving back up to pay attention to your clit. 

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Chan’s voice comes out hoarse, and it somehow has you gushing even further. 

The angle gives him perfect access to work on your cunt as he likes, pushing your legs apart when you’d close them subconsciously. His fingers are merciless as they take turns circling over your nub before rubbing through them up and down. He places open mouthed kisses on your thigh, the one he holds open against his bare chest. 

You’re writhing at the feeling, trying your best to not move in his hold too much as you let out the most desperate streams of moans, only encouraging him to keep going. Your hands grope everything in your shaken state: your breasts, his thigh, his arm that holds your legs apart – anything to keep you tied to the feeling. 

Chan’s fingers slow before coming to a complete halt, wet fingers trailing up your thighs, leaving a trail of your arousal in their wake. He brings them back, fingers now lower as he traces a lone finger at your entrance. You feel yourself clench at the feeling. 

“Fuck!” You clamp your hand over your mouth, the profanity leaving your mouth before you can stop it. Chan pushes that finger into your tight hole, clenching around the digit. He pumps in once before pushing in another. 

“Uh-uh,” you hear him tut. Yanking your hand away from your mouth, leading it away. “Let me hear you.” 

His statement has you letting out another groan, the sound of his voice adding to the pleasure you’re receiving at the mercy of his fingers. He continues to pump in and out, his other hand moving to continue circling over your clit. 

Your back is arching off the sheets at this point, hands desperately gripping the sheets as you throw your head back. The feeling is building to a breaking point, your pants growing louder as your jaw falls slack. 

The knot breaks, and it has you fluttering your eyes shut, your mind going completely blank as the only thing that consumed your being becomes Chan’s godly hands. Registering absolutely nothing is easy when he refuses to stop his fingers, letting you ride out your high as far as it would take you. He doesn’t stop, even while you're squirming in his hold from overstimulation.

“Ch-Chan, I can’t!” Your own hands attempt to grasp his arm, his wrists. 

Your now blown out pupils catch a playful look on his face as he quit brushing his fingers on your spent cunt, letting you lay back for a breath. Your chest heaves as you attempt to come round from the feeling, vaguely registering Chan, setting your lower half off of his lap. He hovered above your frame, leaving pecks all over your face, neck, and chest, waiting for you to recover. 

“Good?” he asks you with a smile once your breathing seemed to have evened out. 

“Yeah,” you reply with a laugh, attempting to sit up from your position to kiss him. He lets you. 

It isn’t until you’ve pushed him back on the headboard that he realizes what you’re trying to do. You’re legs that straddle him begin to wiggle lower as you detach from his lips, fiddling with the waistband of his boxers to pull them off. He obliges, letting you take the fabric off, watching you as you pump his hard length in your palms. 

You doubt you’d ever get over the feeling of having him in your hands, the weight of him fitting into your palm like his dick was meant to fall straight into your hands. Chan is gracious in how he lets you have your way for a few minutes, using his precum as lube to begin pumping him faster and faster.

The feeling is overwhelming, considering how long his lower half has been waiting for this, for you. He reminds himself what he’s really here for and somehow finds it within himself to stop you, flipping you over on the mattress so he’s back to hovering over you. 

“Not today, baby.” 

“Chan, let me–” 

He knows the only way to get you to quit insisting is by occupying your mouth, so that’s exactly what he does as he places his mouth against yours, kneading both your tits under his hands to get you all worked up again. It works as you let out the smallest whine against his mouth, all of that fighting drowning in your chest as you melt into putty in his hands yet again. 

Chan continues to tease, bringing his tip to your entrance, circling it before dragging it up to your clit, spreading the mix of both of your arousal all over your cunt. Your hips buck and stutter at the feeling, still sensitive from your previous orgasm. 

It isn’t long before he’s dragging himself back, tip pushing in hard as he continues his pressure. You’re both moaning at this point, mixing in profanities as he begins to thrust into your cunt, setting a pace for himself. You wrap your arms around his neck as he holds himself in a hover above you. 

Soon enough, you feel him begin to brush against a particular spot inside you, one that has you moaning louder than you have all night. It’s almost like he knows what those sounds mean, angling his hips in a way that thrusts directly into that one spot that has you seeing stars.

“Chan, I’m—” 

“I know, princess, I know,” he grunts out in response. “Let go, baby.” 

And you do, hurtling into your second orgasm as you clutch the forearm he’s rested on the bed. Your back that arches off the sheets is met with his hand that runs over the expanse, coaxing the feeling out with the intimate touch. 

You feel him pull out, moving away from you to let you breathe. You want to have the energy to tell him to come close to you again, but it sires difficult when you can barely breathe. You find yourself not needing to open your mouth, though, as you realize Chan’s mercy lasted barely a few seconds before you feel him push into your entrance again with no warning. 

The gasp that leaves you is muffled by the mouth that’s put on yours as Chan fully engulfs you in his arms again. You take the opportunity to touch him, wrapping your arms around his torso, hands roaming as you feel up the expanse of his back and shoulders. He’s thrusting into you slower than before, his moans coming in directly into your ear now. The sound is enough to have you gushing around him again, your fingers finding his nape to tangle them in his hair.

“Fuck — you’re not keeping me in,” he groans, and you suddenly realize why he was going so slow. 

It wasn’t like you could help it when you continued to clench around him like your life depended on it, but he didn’t seem to really mind it either when you felt his own cock twitch. Once he’s had quite enough, he pulls back momentarily to push your legs up against your body. Your thighs are pressing against your chest as you register that he’s basically folded you in half, giving him the room he so desired to properly fuck you. 

“Keep those legs up for me, baby,” he orders as he helps, letting you rest them against his shoulders.

He slips himself out before going back in entirely, moving his hips at a pace that has you seeing stars. You feel him move his head to kiss the inside of your thighs, dragging his tongue over every surface he can reach. With his mouth occupied, the only sounds that encase the room are your own string of moans, paired with the absolutely lewd squelch that comes with every slap of Chan��s hips. 

With the force he’s going at, you don’t doubt the bruises that’ll grace your lower half once he’s done. The fact that this wasn’t gonna be the end of it has you wondering how you’ll handle the next 24 hours with him. You decide you’ll think about that later as you let the feeling of him engulf you now. 

“Oh, I’m so close,” he announces, and you can tell by the way his pace grows increasingly sloppier. He lets down one of your legs to free up his hand to bring back to your bruised clit, rubbing haphazard circles to make up for his also haphazard hip pace. 

You can’t imagine minding, though, especially not right now when the desperation of it all has you building up your third high, “Me too, fuck, me too.” 

Chan thrusts into you a couple more times before you announce that you're cumming, and the way you're clenching down on him harder than ever before has him letting out the loudest moan of the night as he begins to cum mere seconds after you. You can feel his hot liquid shoot into your walls, the slickness making your head spin even further. 

You’re near passing out when Chan pulls out of you, flopping down on the bed next to you. Neither of you speak as you catch your breath for the nth time that night, somehow finding it within yourself to turn over to land your head on Chan’s outstretched arm. He doesn’t hesitate to bring you in as you curl up under his arm, head on his shoulder. 

“Where do you get all that energy from?” you mumble into his arm. 

He laughs a little at the question, dropping a kiss on your head, “Comes naturally when you have such a pretty thing to please.” 

You snort in response, trying to hide the very apparent fluttering in your chest. Even after the amount of time you’ve spent having him all for yourself, you doubt the butterflies would ever leave – especially when he continues to drop his corny yet effective lines at any given opportunity. 

“Shut up.”

“I don’t think you want me to,” he retorts, lolling his head to look at you, hair flopping on his forehead as he smiles at the sight of you. 

“Fair enough.” 

You both giggle a little, a little dazed at the cloud in the room. It falls into comfortable silence after, as you continue to gain your bearings after a session like that. Your mind begins to wander, thoughts landing you in the kitchen where the red flowers are now decorated. 

“I know you’re a sap, which is why I’m asking you this,” you start, shifting to look at him. His face is glistening. “But what made you choose those flowers in specific?” 

He thinks for a moment.

“The dahlia itself means… lasting grace. Beauty that remains, love to be declared.” 

You stare at him as he licks his lips, “Red dahlias, those mean perseverance. Strength, power.”

He shifts so he isn’t on his back anymore, facing you entirely. “I don’t know much about flower talk, but I hoped both of those things together would tell you that… my love for you is stronger than the years. And I intend to prove it to you if you’ll let me.”

You’re tearing up now, and he can see it in the way your eyes turn from shiny to an overwhelming pool. Before he can say anything, you’re lurching forward to kiss him, smashing your mouths together in a way that you can only call dramatic, your tears dropping to hit his cheeks. 

He brings a hand up to steady you, cupping your face to hold you there as you continue to peck his lips over and over. 

“Thank you for loving me,” you mumble against his lips in a nasally voice. 

“Thank you for loving me. Thank you,” he kisses you again, “for being born.”

You laugh a little, wet cheeks and sniffles to complete the look. 

Chan can only wipe your tears away with a brush of his hand and hope that those tears remain happy, with him, for the rest of your days. 

#seventeen #svt #dino #chan #lee chan #dino fluff #dino smut #dino scenarios #dino x reader #dino imagines #dino fics #lee chan fluff #lee chan smut #lee chan imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #em.writes

[remuslupinslefteyebrow]

The Infantilisation of Aziraphale and Why It’s Such An Awful Thing.

Hii there, I'm Teddy and um this is my yap because this is a very close to my heart subject as you probably will be able to tell upon reading. Sorry if theres any repeated points or errors, I did my best to edit it. Anyways, enjoy! <3

The infantilisation of Aziraphale undermines his whole personality as an age old being, one who is incredibly powerful, strong, and intelligent. Far from infantile, he's made rational decisions and at times let his emotions influence them, yes, but this is no way an excuse to chalk him down to childish. Infantilising Aziraphale also jeopardises his relationship with Crowley, someone just as old and intelligent as he is, yet he is rarely infantilised. Although Aziraphale’s decisions may be more ‘pure’ than Crowley's, influenced by his ideas of rules and obligation, pushed on him from his very creation, they don't display naivety or the foolishness depicted in many infantile decisions. (for the most part)

People often infantilise him to purposefully further the effeminate, ‘cutesy’ stereotype of gay men, specifically gay men that don't necessarily conform to society's very strict beauty constructs whether it be through age, appearance, nationality, disabilities all these things can affect it. 

A lot of gay men face either infantilisation or hypersexualisation and the way some of the good omens fandom treats Crowley and Aziraphale is exactly this stereotype.

They strip down the personalities of crowley and Aziraphale to something that may be only  a small fraction of their personality, like Aziraphale’s softness being turned into this shy, mouse of a person, relying on crowley for everything, helpless, pathetic, crowley’s sometimes suave, cool manner turning him into a ice-cold, smooth-talking often masochistic alpha male fucking sex god. Neither of them are these things. 

The fandom also tends to deliberately remove Crowley's femininity which historically has been a large part of his character, just look at his portrayals throughout the years. Like why? All for the sake of some Colleen Hoover style fuck boy?? Hell to the fucking no.

They often turn Crowley into a total slut as well, mindless and perpetually horny, neither of those things is he, especially not mindless. He’s proven himself to be clever, cunning and wily, as per his demonic heritage, but tends to do things a little…. Undemonically. 

Oh well.

Aziraphale’s femininity, his softness and joy, his purity isn't an excuse to reduce him down to singularly those things. He is a well rounded character, with so many layers of personality and history and all these things that if you take away these elements it's no longer Aziraphale. It might as well be someone’s random OC. (well technically he’s Neil Gayma- ahem i mean Gaiman’s oc but yk elementary, my dear Watson)

The points people tend to zone in on in their quest to baby their dear sweet Aziraphale who ‘must be protected at all costs’ are usually these:

His innocence, particularly about human culture (though admittedly he knows more about certain things than even crowley does)

His love of soft, sweet things

His emotional dependence on crowley

is reluctance to rebel against authority

His politeness

People forget Aziraphale is completely capable of defending and taking care of himself. He’s not your ‘uwu soft boy’ who needs to be looked after. No, he’s far from that. The whole ‘infantilisation thing’ is also just an excuse to dumb down and baby gender-nonconforming people which in itself is atrocious. As my very good co-writer Kris said, he’s “the angel of the fucking eastern gate for crying out loud.” He wields a flaming sword, can produce strong miracles and can resist temptation. Oh, did I mention he also helped avert a whole FUCKING APOCALYPSE??? AS IN. END OF THE WORLD. FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. OH NO, BOOHOO, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE TYPE APOCALYPSE?????????? HMM?

HIS KINDNESS IS ALSO WORTH NOTING.

He's also proven himself to be perfectly capable of making his own decisions with his own mind, has proven himself to have a conscience, a strong sense of right and wrong that he formed partly alone, sometimes deviating from heavens set ‘code’ for beliefs and behaviour, has proven himself to be able to deal with the guilt and confusing emotions (to a certain degree) that come alongside with finding yourself deeply involved with someone that you know the very institution that created you despises. 

Aziraphale’s sense of fashion and general propriety  also furthers the ‘effeminate’ stereotype, making him seem overly vain and prudish, he can be these things, he can sometimes even be petulant, but this further proves his well rounded character as being shown to display a wide range of emotions.

Using direct quotes from the book here are some lines people may use to zone in on Aziraphale’s femininity, and then of course, you find another reason for his infantilisation. (Women are dumbed down and infantilised, OBVIOUSLY.)

Aziraphales effeminate qualities:

“Aziraphale spread his elegantly-manicured hands.”

“Tartan is stylish.” 

“Angels had certain moral standards to maintain and so, unlike Crowley, he preferred to buy his clothes rather than wish them into being from raw firmament. And the shirt had been quite expensive.”

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”

Aziraphale has also been shown to be able to be thoughtless, careless and at times even selfish. 

In season one, a dove used for magic dies in his coat pocket due to his thoughtlessness, though he ressurects it soon after its discovery. 

I ALSO FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DESPISE WHEN PEOPLE TWINKIFY AZIRAPHALE.

LIKE.

WHY.

His appearance goes hand in hand with his character. It HIGHLIGHTS elements of his character. He’s gluttonous. A quality we shouldn’t really see in an angel, but regardless we do. Because of this quality, he's plump. And? This doesn't affect his personality or character and is in fact still essential to it. 

His vanity affects his appearance greatly. He’s said to have soft hands, ‘neatly manicured’. He typically doesn’t grow facial hair, opting for a clean shaven rather cherubic appearance. We know he greatly prides himself on his clothes, keeping them in pristine condition for hundreds of years, taking painstaking care with them. We see him greatly disappointed in season one when his jacket is shot by a paintball and he’s reluctant to wash or even magically remove it because he’ll ‘still know it’s there’, so in the end Crowley removes it for him, after which Aziraphale seems quite satisfied. He doesn’t mention about ‘knowing it’s still there’. Gay much.

We keep seeing qualities in Aziraphale that aren’t usually typical or desirable in an angel, adding more layers to his character and personality. If he didn’t have these things, he’d be like any other angel we see. 

These angels aren’t necessarily cruel, or callous, or mean. They have no concept of such things. They simply follow orders to the extent they do not question or care what the thing is they’re being ordered to do. They don’t have an internal moral battle over whether this is right or wrong. They don’t believe that their actions could possibly be wrong or misguided because they literally take God at his every word. Get an order, complete it. Simple as that. 

It’s because of the traits he’s developed by himself over time that make him so likeable. Do you honestly think he’d be popular at all without these things? Then how can he be stripped of these things so frequently people are starting to forget his original character completely? It’s such a shame.

In fact he really isn’t a very good angel at all. He’s far too human. But you see, that’s what makes him so powerful. He does have a conscience. It influences him. He has a sense of right and wrong. He rebels, because he thinks. He thinks and therefore he decides things are wrong. And he decides not to obey those things.

Off topic as I round my points up:

In reference to the appearance quirks of the angels, someone in a reddit post three years ago (user has been deleted) put it wonderfully:

“I believe that the gold make-up and highlights on Uriel and Michael’s face, Sandalphon’s diamond-studded grill with a crucifix, and Gabriel’s violet eyes were design choices to communicate their ethereal natures to the audience.

The way they did this with Aziraphale are his white outfits, gold angel themed jewellery, the cherubic curls, but most of all, his halo. The director put a lot of effort into always backlighting Aziraphale’s blond hair to give the appearance of a halo, as well as placing him in well lit areas. The result is that Aziraphale practically glows in every scene he’s in. Michael Sheen put a ton of light into Aziraphale’s smile as well, in a way probably no other actor could have done.

If we’re going to settle on something as an ethereal quirk for Aziraphale, it’s his radiance.”

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this giant yap, I’m very honoured. 

anyways gang this is the other half of this post written by my very good friend, Kris. ( @anth0ny-c0wl3yy )

Enjoy! <3

#aziracrow #aziraphale #azirafell #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable fandom #anthony j crowley #neil gaiman #professional yapper

[oblonger]

@sincerely-sofie

Ark watches the sun set.

Ark silently sat next to Twig, holding her hand as she lay under her blanket, the worn out shawl she's owned for decades barely peeking out from underneath. The room was gently illuminated by the small, yellow-orange flame on the end of her tail. The two of them alone, per her requests.

After a long period of agonizing silence, Twig opened her eyes and shifted her head to look at Ark.

"Hey Ark?"

Ark turned to face her, it felt like his heart would rip itself apart whenever he looked at her.

"What is it Twig?" He asked, doing his best to suppress the shaking of his voice.

"Can I ask you for something?"

Ark felt like he already knew what she would ask. "I will not abandon you." He responded, sounding more desperate and grief ridden, than determined like he'd hoped.

Twig gave a small, weak chuckle. "No, I'm not gonna ask you to leave."

Ark felt deep regret at his reaction. "My apologies. What's your request?"

Twig slowly blinked at him, a smile spreading across her face. "It's fine, man. I know I promised, but I wanted to ask if you could put me to sleep. And we could watch the sunrise again."

Ark could feel his other hand shaking. "You will see the sunrise while you still yet live, Twig." Once more sounding more desperate than determined.

Twig very slightly tilted her head. Her smile radiating a warmth that he cherished so much. "Ark..."

He could feel his emotions being torn apart. "I dont... I dont want you to have a nightmare."

Twig weakly chuckled again. "I'm not gonna let some nightmare do me in, Ark."

He wanted to deny her the chance at being uncomfortable, but her expression and the unchanging color of the flame showed him that she wasn't worried in the slightest.

Ark obliged, gently putting her to sleep. His heart pounded as her tail flame gently flickered while it changed from yellow-orange to white.

After being certain that she wasn't in any danger, he closed his eyes to enter her dream.

His relief was indescribable when he saw that Twig wasnt in the flaming bunker, or in a mystery dungeon, or being crushed or anything.

She was sitting near the edge of one of the many cliffs of Mount Trevail, the mountain's forest a short walk away from where she was. She stared out into the horizon while the sun shone down from the middle of the sky. She turned her head to face Ark once he appeared and smiled fondly.

"Took you long enough." She gently remarked.

Ark wanted to laugh, not at her joke, but at just how she was still her, despite the current circumstances. Ark silently moved next to where she was sitting, and lowered himself to the ground. Changing the sun's position to that of just peeking above the horizon.

The two stayed silent for a while.

"Finding you was the best thing that ever happened to me." Twig spoke. Ark glanced at her scar before nodding. "The feeling is mutual."

Ark didnt watch the sunrise. He was watching Twig from the corner of his eyes. His heart sank when Twig's expression suddenly fell.

"I thought I asked for a sunrise, Ark?"

It was too overwhelming. Ark rushed forward and wrapped his arms around her. Twig seemed surprised, not at him hugging her so suddenly, but that it took this long for him to do so.

Ark took in a breath that shook intensly. "I-... I can't do it Twig. I don't-." Ark could feel tears streaming down his face. He hyperventilated whenever he wasn't saying anything "I-I can't do it. I ca-an't be alone h-h-h- Again."

Twig wrapped her arms around him as he wet her chest with tears.

"Shhhhh." She gently rubbed the back of his head. "You wont be alone. It'll be okay."

Ark squeezed her tighter, he wanted her closer to him.

"Twig. I'm-. I'm so scared Twig. I don't-. I don't know wh-what I'll do with-... I dont know wh-at i'll do without you."

Twig lowered her neck to rest on Ark's shoulders. "You'll keep going." She quietly responded.

Ark tightened his grip again. He let out a sob that was louder than all the others.

"Th-theres still time, Twig. h-h- Cresselia-..." Ark's voice cracked. He couldnt force the rest out.

Twig gave a small sigh. No trace of disappointment, sadness, fear or anger.

"I know Ark. But I don't want to. It's going to be okay."

The dream started to shift in a way that was unfamiliar to him.

Ark tried so hard to say something more. He wanted to apologize for being such a burden in her final hours. He wanted to tell her how much he misses her. He wanted to scream and cry and wail about just how much he loves her.

But he couldn't. Everything he tried saying came out as sputtered half words and sobs. After a moment, Twig gave a small chuckle.

"I love you more than words can describe too, Ark."

The landscape around them was being cast in a shadowy haze.

Ark didnt want to let go.

He didn't want to let go.

He so badly wanted to stay with her forever.

Ark's eyes shot open. His face, soaked with tears, his arms wrapped around his chest, hugging himself. He was back in Twig's room. The only light shining from the waxing crescent moon. He looked up to see Twig, resting peacefully. The only movement she made was the thin strand of smoke rising from her extinguished tail.

Ark fell forward and clutched her desperately. The only sound in the room being quiet sobbing.

#fanfic of a fanfic #text post #the present is a gift au #pmd eos #writing #pmd #I've been fortunate enough to not having to deal with the death of someone i love so far. #Ark's emotions were based on how i feel thinking of when i will eventually have to face those feelings. #plus a little bit of what he fears as well.

[relaxxattack]

HI ashen quad guy again, sorry !! 😭 i got a bit busy. unskippable cutscene unlocked.

so i have noticed that , as a fandom , theres seems to be a kind of universal perception (and subsequent disregard for) of the ashen quadrant, and i have been dissecting it a little! my point essentially boils down to: ashen romance, while frequently portrayed as born purely out of social necessity, is its own fully fledged romance that should be separated from moirallegience and kismesissitude in our minds.

so with flushed and pitch romance, while born from VERY different feelings, they are both generally rooted in physical desire. and looking at the conciliatory quadrants, i feel like it is not out of line to assume they could be two very separate romances rooted in similar feelings. which in this case would be protective, pitying feelings.

so what is auspisticism? as it is defined in homestuck, it is a relationship where two trolls are for some reason unable to enter a fully fledged kismesissitude, and a third troll enters the relationship to mediate. it serves a crucial social function, though there is no reason to assume it isnt born through real romantic feelings. if we take a look at the other conciliatory quadrant, moirallegience also serves to soothe the violence highbloods are prone to, however few around these parts would deny that moirallegience is a emotionally fulfulling romantic relationship.

ashen relationships can be socially necessary when one or both inner leaves already have a kismesis, or it would threaten the social situation (ex: two coworkers attempt to become kismeses). however, it also becomes necessary when the problem is with the rivalry itself! if its unbalanced in one trolls favor, if one troll hates the other more than they do, or if the kismesissitude becomes physically dangerous for the two parties, the relationship could benefit from an auspistice.

so what would ashen feelings look like? if im being honest, i feel like a small part of the collective understanding of auspisticism comes from how polyamory tends to be portrayed. as in, the relationship is seen as one unit, rather than three individual dynamics. ashen feelings, similar to pale feelings, comes from feelings of protectiveness for another troll. in this case, two trolls! similar to kismesissitude, it comes from generally negative emotion. combining that, you end up with feelings of annoyance directed at these two trolls who will not stop going at each others throats, because holy hell cant they see this is not good for them, ok someone needs to step in here, holy shit. it is mutual irritation, and as my favorite fic of all time (miracle child by bramblepatch on ao3) says, "isn't that what an auspistice is for, to do things that he minds so that his co-auspicetee won't do things that he hates?"

in conclusion! ashen romance is so much more than just a social obligation that gets in the way of a proper kismesissitude. it can be as fulfilling as pitch and pale romance, and encompasses a WIDE range of dynamics. dynamics that could be fascinating to explore when we accept that ashen romance is its own sort of unique romantic attraction! all this to say this is how sollux ♧ karkat ♧ eridan can still win

THE END HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK LMAOO but yes all of this is really good!! ashen romance is DEFINITELY for real it’s own thing and i really like the delicate sort of “this is hate but it’s ashen hate” type of thing

like some people will sometimes represent auspisticism as like… “oh you poor guys i’m so worried about you 🥺” which. while i get where they got that from that is NOT hate, that’s pity, and the whole point of auspisticism is that it’s conciliatory hate— MOIRALLEGIANCE is conciliatory pity. ashen hate is still hate, so yeah it would be more like “what the fuck is up with you two you need to cut this shit out”.

all in all! very good analysis!! more quadrant dynamics need to be explored in general, but ESPECIALLY in the ashen department.

#also no worries! ive been very busy too which is why it took me a fat minute to be able to sit down and read this 😭 #auspisticism #quadrants #op

[sporesgalaxy]

do you have any tips on like personal worldbuilding in mlp? I've been kind of going back and forth for years especially for my sona's species and just not gotten anywhere w it

I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean by personal worldbuilding? I'll tell you all the reasoning behind my ponysona and hopefully that helps!

•••

My ponysona is a unicorn (or magic-using fairy, sometimes) because I think that having telekinesis would pair nicely with my particular neruoses. Theres an implication in fim that unicorns feel a societal expectation to be adept at using magic, and I think that lines up nicely with my experience with social pressure as a "gifted kid."

Likewise, earth ponies seem to be expected to take up a craft or trade, and pegasi to be athletic. Obviously this doesnt mean everypony lives up to these expectations, but ponies seem insecure when they dont live up to those expectations (i.e. Trixie, Fluttershy), implying there is some level of communal pressure to live up to them, however well-intentioned or slight.

I gave up on trying to come up with a cutie mark when I was younger, because I didnt feel strongly that I knew what I was meant to do. I think I wouldve been a late bloomer in this regard. The cutie mark I ended up giving myself is extremely vague, because I've realized that my life calling isn't very specific :)

I deeply love learning about organic systems and how they interrelate and effect each other-- biology, yes, but also culture and sociology! So my cutie mark is an organic shape in an organic green color (maybe a bacteria, or a flower?) with a spiral in the center that builds itself into a bumpy shape :) AND I like ART so it ALSO represents a cute little scribbly-- I make art for the sake of it, not because I have a specific subject matter I love! And I love making art because there is always something new to learn and I'm always building off of my experiences.....so spiral!!!!!!! yuippee!!!!!!

Obviously this is a ridiculously overthought cutie mark, which is perfect for me but dont feel obligated to make it this complicated XD

final rule HAVE FUN AND BE URSELF u can always change it later :)

#asks #mlp

[rottingskunk]

So i finally watched third life🤡 (spoilers ahead)

(Grian’s pov)

I am inconsolable, the finale hurts so much. It took me a stupidly long ass time to try and watch at least ONE pov of a member. I started grian’s bc he ends up being my default pov for the traffic life series BUT MANNN. I ended up binge watching his entire pov for an afternoon and was sobbing in the finale-SOBBING CRYING BLUBBERING TEARS!!! The finale absolute shambles the cactus ring…its so fucking poetic the walls close in on them their very defenses became the object of their shared demise. Their shared victory. In my head they both won the game its not only one person🥹🙏. I am lowkey needing traffic life smp mutuals to randomly spam about ramblings it would be so fun😔‼️ I want to make a seperate post about the finale itself as it is alot to digest bRRRR. Grian’s pov as a whole was so fun to watch he’s often a trickster who would set up traps for kicks even earning the first triple kill of the life series. You could also see glimpses of him hesitating to harm certain players whether its moral obligation or they can’t bring themselves to do it. Actual chills. (Do we mention his laugh during the triple kill or—)(ALSO JIMMY PART OF THE CROSS FIRE I FEEL SO BAD😭) my veredict is that my favorite life episode was definetly episode 2. Its full of funny chaotic moments while also establishing dynamics for different players too! Overall a fun rewatch for another day.

~~

This was 2 years ago i cant believe in over a span of 2 years theres 4 more seasons to this series with unique premises and outcomes. It makes me so happy to get into it during Last life which caught my eye for the first time. I currently watch secret life and i always get excited to watch new shenanigins being pulled:))!

#desert duo #third life #traffic life series #traffic life smp #percy rambles #i manifest the life series smp fans to find this post PLS PLS PLS PLS #third life spoilers #3rd life smp #3rd life #fanaticrottingskunk

[ilynpilled]

Do u believe that Jaime might kill Cersei and then himself at the end of the series? I saw other page theorizing about him killing himself as a final act or something like that…

i think about jaime and suicide a lot bc i do think it is a permeating theme with him in many ways, and he does do a lot of passive suicidal ideation. he is one of the characters who does not fear death really and is reckless in a way that it is clear that part of him seems drawn to it because of his existential dread. idk bc the thing is that i do think that “what else can i do, but die?” passage indicates the opposite of an ending with suicide specifically, and i think there are themes relevant to him here that i think are more likely to be followed through rather than be tragically rejected:

nonetheless, theres a certain part of me that is morbidly drawn to him succumbing to despair anyway. like if he dies with valonqar, i think thats the only way i would actually like it. i was never someone that felt particularly moved by the “poetry” or “irony” of dying together because i always thought all of that is much richer if it is treated as desperate self affirming delusion that is bound to collapse. and we already see jaime reject dying with her once. there is a visible degree of acceptance of their fates not being entwined that is not feigned bc he did actually leave her to her fate and no longer feels the obligation to die with her, pretty clearly juxtaposed with his mindset in asos where he revolves his life around her “needing” him, and ofc cersei’s own desperate narrative rn. and i think george writing it so they can die exactly at the same time doesnt just feel unrealistic but also would hurt the weight of the scene to me because it would give me no aftermath. a wall falls on them both? valonqar doesnt even happen then. jaime killing cersei and then a wall falls on him or some shit? whats the point? double suicide? where is the ‘betrayal’ and irony and subversion of the jc dynamic’s narrative? cersei’s mindset is proven right. cersei kills him? idk if that works with cersei’s tragedy/betrayal/shock + how would she? he’s injured from something else and makes sure to bring down cersei with him? ig, still feel eh about it. if it happens, i wouldnt feel that much about anything thats not an actual suicide after a murder. and even then, it would make more sense for jaime to attempt suicide by rushing into the nearest battle/suicide mission based on his established characterization. that is the type of act that would be in character rather than just falling on a sword then and there ig. u can argue that the choice itself of him going back can be framed as a suicide attempt where he wants to go down with a sinking ship bc he thinks thats what he deserves, and ofc depending on when this happens the city might be beyond saving already, but still, the execution and circumstances matter to me. i also obviously dont want it framed as him being unable to live without cersei. i find that reductive of his character and boring on top of kind of incongruent bc he already made that choice of key separation once. he already proved himself capable of treating their lives as not entwined. i would only like suicide if it was about a complicated and ingrained sense of failure over not being able to triumph over reckoning with the world and the self (this is what makes the light go out in the weirwood dream too. cersei leaving is not where it ends), esp bc i assume the whole thing is playing on history repeating itself in the most ironic and dark way imaginable. ofc a bigger part of me wants triumph over that this time and for that flaming sword that he gave brienne to still burn and provide light in “his darkness”, replacing cersei’s torch that she takes with her in the dream as she joins tywin and joffrey and the lannister ancestors and leaves jaime in “the dark”, to represent some deeper purpose also embodied by brienne that allows him to continue past this point (the flames will burn as long as you live when they die so must you), and i also think it works better in a lot of ways. i have talked about widow’s wail currently being in the red keep, the twin swords set up, twftd foreshadowing, how i interpret the prophecies in the weirwood dream and how it works with the past and future etc, even how it all comes together thematically when it concerns knighthood and the cynicism/idealism synthesis. but still, a part of me is attracted to that kind of painful tragedy. im fairly open to a lot of things in general if they are not halfbaked and incongruent and dont make me feel empty in a bad way on top of being unsatisfied. but yeah, when thinking about the narrative as a whole, idk how it could work in a way that id like based on all that i have read.

to me, theres too much cost in terms of set ups, unless it happens at the very end of the story ig. but how would that work logistically? and when and how would he acquire widow’s wail? that sword’s a chekhovs gun for twftd that i think jaime has the most foreshadowing and set up with. what else would he do at the red keep? why put him there again when this part of the story could be wrapped up? like theres a certain order of events that seems to work and make the established pieces fall together much better in my head, but ofc i could be wrong.

#ask

[timechaser]

i let this thought go tonight and it will never see the light of the moon ever again so here goes every thought in my mind abt the poppy war trilogy. mind you, a lot of this is just nonsensical dabble and incoherent babbling bc i cant ever form coherent thoughts but whatever.

id pay big money and wage a thousand wars to go back in time and yank every material object out of my hand and out of my reach to ensure that i never even wondered abt the trilogy's existence. it's not that i regret reading them because they sucked--no, far from it. it's not that i led myself blind and didnt take the extra precautions to make sure that i was in the right mindset to read them. i knew what i was going into, what ch21 was withholding, i knew how graphic and how heavy they would be to read. i retreated to my room and poured a stupid amount of hours staring at a screen, at a bunch of words, and feeling such bizarre emotions.

that being said, i love runin. i love how bold she was and how persistent she was despite having her bones kicked inwards from quite literally every person she has let into her life. i love how she was a proper morally grey character, a heroine led astray and betrayed by her very own thoughts. i love her bc even though she was the anthropomorphic personification of a god, she was still human. at the end of the day, what killed her wasnt a higher being, it was the self. that part of her arc cemented her place in my top list of female book leads. i love rin because she was human through and through, all the sides of it, she was everything. reading her was a tough pill to swallow, but a necessary one because she is proof of how dangerous the mind can be to itself, to how dangerous humanity is to itself. and sometimes id wish i could reach into their world and pull her back to ground bc of her recklessness. i love and hate rin at the same time, never one more than the other.

i love kitay even more. never once have i faulted him, he knew what was best, a moral compass for readers really. especially after primarily reading from rin's violent and often irrational perspective, it was relieving to have a voice of reason. theres not much i can say abt him other than the fact that he is my favourite out of the trio, id see it through no matter what. yes i wish he'd said no to bonding himself to rin, to put himself on a compromise, but at the same time i'm glad that he did. kept rin grounded, gave her a sense of purpose other than vengeance, instilled her a sense of duty and obligation--to survive, not only for herself but for him as well. will always defend him no matter what, this boy is clean and he is faultless.

nezha nezha nezha. i tried for three books (and tdf) to like him, truly, but even after all those pages i still dont know how to feel about him. he was insufferable in the first book, honourable for most of the second, and downright pathetic in the third. but if i say that i hate nezha then id have to say that i hate rin as well. they were both children of war, born under humiliating circumstances and forced to take the wager of compromise, they share the same faults. its not fair of me to defend one and leave the other open, they forced the ugliness out of each other. they were tragic. i saw his betrayal from kilometres away, but anticipation did not make forgiveness easier. but i know what it feels like to be brought up as a pawn for ur own family's benefit, to be subjected to so much responsibility when you barely know the world and its wonders, feels like a push to the edge. i cant blame him for that.

in short, im devastated. ive had my tears ricochet on loop since i started the first book. i am but a hollow shell of the person i was before this book. it has altered my life (/hj) and i cant go a minute of my day without thinking abt it. it's incredibly tragic, it's flawed in its own ways but it is also three incredible pieces of literature. rfk did well, im glad i read it while at the same time hate myself for reading the entirety of the trilogy in the span of 36hrs. i dont think its once u can read almost immediately, u need to pace yourself. 5 golden stars from me nonetheless.

#poppy war #the poppy war #the dragon republic #the burning god #fang runin #rin #nezha #kitay

[slaygentford]

I am genuinely dying to hear your essay on why Louis is so boring in the book. My first guess is that at that point she was probably the most obligated to use an editor that she ever was. My second guess is that since he’s her avatar and lestat was her husband (I think he was supposed to be a poet originally lol) and the book was her working through trauma, Louis for her sake had to be someone where people would go, well he was obviously in the right. But maybe I’m being unfair to Anne there

I think its the second one 1000000000000% I was forcing my friend to listen to my lecture on this last night and truly I think it's because, like this is just saying what you're saying but a little to the left, Louis is boring because his SOLE purpose is to convey a theme and a metaphor and so his very personality kind of becomes that metaphor itself and theres just not a lot of actual person there. he's just a vehicle. which is why I think people go cuckoo bananas about lestat, it's because there is not a single cubic centimeter of metaphor in him and he is 100000% character, and after iwtv I can see how people are like oh thank god. which is also imo why tvl onward totally dropped the effort to be literary because how are you gonna bravely shoot (and miss! BUT SHOOT!) for literary fiction when any effort toward metaphor is just utterly gone. conversely the lack of metaphor is what makes the show so good but that's a totally different case because, respectfully, Anne was very plainly not thinking about any of this, at all. which im really happy about because I wouldn't trade the experience I had of reading the first page of tvl immediately after crying literally a single tear at the Louis and lestat baby thing at the end of iwtv for anything. I truly would not trade what I felt in that moment for the world

#the lack of metaphor works in the show because everyone there has read crime & punishment

[sheriiam]

can you pls explain the last episode of yuumori?

the last thing i remember is everything burning, then sherlock confronts william and then theres a TEA PARTY?? T-T

Mee, I'm sincerely hoping that you mean the anime and not the manga (since you said 'episode'). I'll be elaborating on the anime itself, but if you're talking of the manga please just lmk I'll do my research on it too.

I just rewatched the entire episode― I have a good memory but it's super selective so I needed to make sure that I remembered enough to talk on this.

Okay so it goes this way:

Liam goes to Sherlock's place to give him an envelope which provides location of 1. Where William had kept the paper-work of all his plans (like blueprint of the Noahtic ship) 2. The place where the Final Act of the Lord of Crime would take place (i.e. the Tower bridge).

Meanwhile Sebastian and Albert burn the Moriarty mansion and the fire engulfs the slums of London too.

Sherlock reaches place 1. where he meets instructor Jack. He sees all the documents and paper-work and Jack gives him a letter from William (yes the love letter in which William says that Sherlock adds colour to his life and that he wishes they could he reborn as friends).

Lord Townsend (minor character) is hosting a party. The commoners of London come to him and request to use his "loading dock" for fetching water (it's probably the nearest source of water they had). The Lord refuses but then Sebastian comes disguised as a commoner and reminds him (and the other nobles in the party) of "noblesse oblige" and some impactuful speech on duties and humanity (TT). The Lord ultimately allows the people to use the dock and the nobles and commoners work together to put out the fire. [This is what William's plan was, to bring down the class system by uniting people.]

Then comes the sherliam confrontation scene (place 2.) as you said, and they jump off.

Later it's seen how everyone is sort of atoning for their action (they used to kill people duh). Bond is in MI6, Fred is helping in rebuilding the burnt London (somebody kill me what sort of wording is this), Albert confines himself in a tower, Sebastian is shown probably farming or doing dairy work (which isn't even close to what happens in the manga TT). And our dear Louis becomes the head of MI6.

Timeskip, Sherlock goes to Switzerland and it's there that we realize that William is alive and that's how the episode ends.

Mee, I'm not at all sure where the tea party comes in (except if you're mixing the manga and the anime together). But I hope this is helpful. Sorry if it's too vague or anything I'm bad at explaining stuff TT~

In case you wish you read the manga, I'm leaving the link here.

Ily, take care <3

#yuumori #yukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty #sherlock holmes #william james moriarty #sherliam #ynm sherlock #ynm william #louis james moriarty #albert james moriarty

[gr1evance]

posting a big grievance infodump from late last night under a read more. about some semi obscure god lore that doesnt really make it toooo much into the story but still contributes to motivations and such. and i just generally like the way this ties itself together in how i wrote it so i wanna share it

making worlds for gods is kind of all theyre meant to do its actually part of the reason ronnies depression gets really bad bc like. every god is different but they will generally have at least soooome kind of longing or feeling of obligation to be doing that. and ronnies was really bad but it was like essentially punishable by death to not just like sit and do nothing basically so it contributed to his depression a lot. but once a god like makes a world has one or has multiple its like. a commitment for eternity or until that world is gone. anything bad happens to it it will make you tired or sick if you try to neglect it it will make you tired or sick. if you are not doing nothing except looking after it you are tired and/or sick. in atrophy theres a decent amount of shadow gods who have worlds and most of them just kind of do nothing but that but like. this isnt really an ironed out plot beat but theres supposed to be one that lobotomy sends after nix and co. whos apparently been trying to multitask and the second they have to get into a fight they like. straight up just keel over and die. and thats why ronnie comes back. again thats not ironed out and could change but its my current way of showing what gods having a world is kind of like in the story. so yeah theyre not just like guys who are strong they really do have godly obligations most of them just. dont. bc its a big commitment its like. having a baby if the baby was ever present and never stopped screaming the mortals that they make are also the mortals they can like. 100% do anything to bc mortals from other universes or anything like ppl rift nix talk to basically just cant hurt him and he has like. super strength compared to them. could pop them like a grape. but theyre not ones he made so he cant like. turn them into a cube or something which is mostly restrictions to keep them from being absolutely super all powerful in rp or anything both options are kind of meant to feel kind of suffocating bc gods arent really. mmmeeeaaaant to be people theyre meant to be machines that do their godly duty and nothing else. but theyre also people. and they have to deal with being people. and i feel like a lot of grievance is kind of just people having to deal with being. people the thing is even if asterisk wasnt there doing that most of them STILL wouldnt just bc. well theyre people and theres other people there and theyd rather be with the other people than. essentially working forever. the reason ronnie at the end of atrophy doesnt start doing actual god stuff is bc nix and vinny are there now and theyre more important to him than anything he feels obligated to do. i imagine especially for the rift gusbands getting out of the purpose and living in a real mortal world that has change and constant movement and countless people must be so freeing. because the purpose is kind of just a soulless husk of a place to live theres. nothing there. unless you make it. and these gods sit around and do nothing because they dont know any better but living in a mortal world they can learn to outgrow that. i just think its really beautiful to think about. being literally made to do something and not being allowed to and its crushing because you cant do the one thing tou were made for. but then youre free of those rules but instead of turning to that obligation you realize. you dont have to do what you were made for. you can just live. you can do anything and go anywhere and be anyone and be WITH anyone you want. you can just live i also think its very pretty in my head how certain things like this end up tying nix and starb together as characters when they can seem so distant from each other in concept. but theres little details where theyre the same. someday they can both learn that they dont have to be what they were "made" to be they dont have to only ever look after a world they dont have to be a murderer they dont have to be a weapon they dont have to work nonstop for the sake of other people. they can just be themselves. thats a sentiment they both learn in the end

#captains log #grievance

[bixxelated]

behold, a writing meme

Rules: List five things you never get tired of writing; it can be tropes, themes, characters, phrases, whatever brings you joy. (Optional: Then tag people!)

tagged by @marypsue and i am so gleefully excited to get into this. if i had more time/opportunity id probably write like 100 of these but meanwhile if you want to see more of my dubious excellent taste just looking in my writing tropes tag (unless its accompanied by the 'i dont like' tag)

1) Alternate Universes (or Universe Alternates?)

For want of a nail a kingdom was GAINED. i love making changes to a series that end up creating long-lasting consequences. its especially fun to challenge the characters in different ways than what you see in the series. i never get tired of it :')

2) GEN FIC

being in fandom when you're not particularly interested in ships or the romance genre as a whole is absolute torture but when you find a good one you really hit JACKPOT. i love platonic soulmates i love found family i love codependance i love no man's an island i love fics where spells/curses/etc are broken by PLANTONIC friendships bc!! they love each other and its just as valid as romantic relationships if not MORE!!!! similarly if i write for a ship or particular interaction its because there's something about their dynamic that i love that may not particularly be romantic in nature, per se.

3) Not What They Seem

this is particularly prevalent whenever i write fantasy or the like but i really like making characters who weren't originally part of it in canon now part of the Masquerade. theyre werewolves, theyre shapeshifters, theyre gods, theyre monsters, theyre witches, who they are in the dark is Much More Than Anyone Else Realizes--idk its just fun to include a perspective that can lend itself to some more worldbuilding and weave it into the original story

4) Bastard characters

i say bastard but rest assured i mean this in a gender-varied way. theyre assholes, theyre annoying, theyre feral little gremlins, theyre Up to No Good and everyone either loves them or hates them (both in-story and out of it) but theres just something about a morally-dubious character whos a little shit that really appeals to me. bonus points if they got someone who they would ride-or-die for no questions asked, i eat that shit up (and write it as much as possible)

5) Iconic scenes

this is a bit hard to explain but im a very visual writer so i very much love to include scenes that are almost... cinematographic? so to speak? scenes where no words could be exchanged and they still take your breath away, scenes that absolutely carve themselves into memory when you read my fics. doesnt matter if its horrifying or breathtaking or thematically important, they just elevate the story that little bit more

--

i tag @sakurablossomcreamlatte @alzheimersparrotroute @khattikeri @mysterygreentea and anyone else who might be interested in doing this list! altho dont feel obligated to do it if you forget/dont want to

#tp #writing tropes #blogger comments #about #this was fun to think about thanks for the tag! #hahah noW I am the one who steals the tag title that you stole from someone else!!!

[twdgs]

so I'm not disagreeing with you. they should face violence. but as someone who's been arrested once and tackled by cops 3 times I feel terrified to do anything violent not just for threat of arrest but also being seen as a violent tranny because even if someone has it coming I'm worried it will increase violence towards my kind (be that women or trans people). i want there to be something i can do to help the effort but I don't have much physical strength and im disabled too.

how much could voting and signing petitions do? i don't have money to donate and I don't have a way to show violence in a way that actually does anything

I understand where you’re coming from, especially as a disabled trans person myself, even if we have not been in that situation.

It doesnt need to be physical like that, you have no obligation whatsoever to compromise yourself if its not safe. Voting and petitions can only do so much i’m afraid, thats kinda proven itself time and time again.

But, a good, less physically dangerous way of getting involved is by looking up community groups. (Theres always online / physical groups near you, no matter where you live. Trust me) talking to people, trying to get others involved in any way you can, helping organize events, helping cover protesters tracks, etc. That stuff is a huge help too

However, I really recommend talking to people older than me who have done this sorta thing before, look up group leaders in your area if its safe, talk to them about this if you can find them. I am a child at the end of the day, this is just stuff we’ve picked up from our personal efforts.

#ask #luci dont look #I dont know if you were asking a question or something else but I know the feeling #If its any consolation

[archer3-13]

in many ways i wanna say pokemon scarlet and violet are worth it solely for that last battle and story section with professor turo / sada. good build up, interesting fight, kickass music, and a nice ending bit of using a terra blast to kick your opponents ass.

on the otherhand the actual gameplay section leading up to the final battle is a dull hallway, and the process of getting to that final section [in overcoming the various paths of the game] feels undercooked by comparison.

its an arguable problem all open world games have in storytelling mind, but i do think there were ways it coulda been overcome so that the strong points of the endgame can shine throughout the entire game.

victory road feels the most obligatative of the paths, and considering its been in every mainline pokemon game i dont think you could cut it in good faith. what it did need was either more 'environmental exploration' elements present... or less.

more in the sense that well the gym challenges are more about interacting with the environment they dont push that concept hard enough in some cases.

or alternatively it should be less in the sense of streamlining the experience and leaving environmental exploration to the other paths well making the path about pokemon battles more about pokemon battles.

gyms in pokemon have always been this odd mix of obligation and actual excitement, self contained puzzles to avoid the main interactive mechanic of the pokemon game the battling. i think scarlet and violet really missed an opportunity to reinvent the concept of a gym in pokemon though by awkwardly hemming to tradition without the self contained gym environments to maximize the potential effectiveness of whatever puzzle [or challenge in this instance] they had in mind. especially since team star bases as self contained environment would have been much better suited to a puzzle challenge instead of the weird beatdown thing they did with team star bases.

SO! proposed solution here would be to 'divide the labour' so to speak. gyms instead of the ecliptic mess of minigames they are, are instead gonna be all modelled on larrys gym about exploring the immediate city of the gym to 'unlock' the gym battle itself. that way you can get a more natural understanding of the cities layouts through experience, the cities can be more intently designed to accommodate a gym challenge and battles can more easily serve as the centre piece attractions without having to share. all in all it can also just be more compact this way. titans are a let down because ya dont so much hunt them as ya do walk to their premarked locations. and i understand its going to be difficult for giant pokemon to hide, but it atleast would have been less of a let down if you had to more thoroughly explore the environment to drag them out of hiding. theres a lot of space in scarlet and violet that feels rather empty aside, and making ya have to more extensively track titan pokemon would help reduce that feeling of dead space. finally as noted the team star bases should have been more about infiltration and environmental puzzles then a straight up brawl. the poison star base for instance being ninja themed should have had a self contained stealth section, well for the fairy base ya have to draw the rich kid out through dirtying up his nice stuff or something.

finally area zero instead of being a hallway i think would have been better suited to being a kinda sprawling explorable environment that you map your way around to find all the research stations in. not a winding slide downwards but more of a bowl shape if that makes sense. that and maybe some unique megabosses guarding the stations that need all of your friends at once to take on [super titans or something, idk]

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet #ramble ramble

[webscene-remade]

Do you have a link to the What Pumpkin statement? I need the details.

i'll just paste the text because theres too much for me to get in 10 screenshots, it was in an email to hiveswap backers

For backers only

Over the years, a lot of misinformation as well as deliberate disinformation has spread around about the history of Hiveswap. The purpose of this post is to clarify these matters for backers who've been wondering what the truth is.

The Kickstarter was planned by the What Pumpkin business development team in mid 2012. One member of the team was a crowdfunding specialist who led the planning process and managed the contracts with the developer. Prior to the Kickstarter opening for pledges, What Pumpkin worked out a plan for a flexible game concept that could be refined according to how much the campaign ultimately brought in. As Hussie was still working on Homestuck full time at this point, the plan was to hand over his game concept and story outline to a development company that could deliver the project.

The crowdfunding campaign finished out at a gross total of $2,485,506, as well as a gross total of $207,930 from PayPal pledges. But because of platform fees, as well as the costs of producing and shipping merchandise to backers of the campaign, the effective budget was significantly lower than the gross pledged total:

The above deductions from the gross total do not include taxes.

After determining the final budget for the game, What Pumpkin signed an agreement with the contracted game company (hereafter “GC”) to develop Hussie’s game concept. WP and GC entered into a development contract on November 30, 2012, shortly after the conclusion of the Homestuck Kickstarter. WP paid $788,000 to GC in late 2012 for development.

Because there was an understanding that delivering the complete game development documents would take some time, during which it would be difficult for GC to make meaningful progress on the Hiveswap game build, GC inquired about getting involved with other Homestuck-adjacent projects to do immediate work. WP let GC know about the Act 7 animation plans. With an assurance that this work could be done in parallel with a flexible timeline and would not impact the development cycle of Hiveswap itself, Hussie and What Pumpkin saw this as a good opportunity to establish a working relationship with this organization prior to the start of development and agreed to contract GC to do animation work for the Act 7 project. WP and GC agreed that this project would have a separate budget from the Hiveswap Kickstarter money, paid for from WP’s regular operating funds. As the existence of this animation itself would not be revealed until its release in 2016, this was not publicly announced at the time. GC and the lead animator on the project specifically requested not to be credited upon release of the animation.

Hussie initiated the “Megapause” on April 14, 2013 in order to devote his full attention to finalizing the Hiveswap development documents. What Pumpkin soon provided its story documents so that GC could formally begin core systems development. In July of 2013 WP and GC mutually agreed to push back GC’s deliverable dates without penalty. Hussie would share an update in 2013 detailing the state of predevelopment: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/14293468/homestuck-adventure-game/posts/708686

In 2013 following receipt of WP’s deliverables, GC enthusiastically assured WP that it was positioned to begin development. GC would deliver its first prototype in early 2014.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qSXwWKD5Km1yL-3Cj_W5IevW-IA978zJ/view?usp=sharing

This prototype, linked above, was sent to WP on 2/18/14. At this point, it was becoming a significant concern among backers that WP had yet to show proof that the game was being made, so WP was looking for any sort of tangible progress update from GC that was suitable to share with the public. But Hussie and WP found the quality of the prototype somewhat alarming, and decided that sharing any shots from the game would only cause embarrassment for GC. Nevertheless, WP was still willing to assume that this was a very early draft of something that would develop into a more promising product soon, and gave GC some more time to improve on it.

But the improvements didn’t come. No other advancements on the prototype were ever made. After waiting weeks with no update other than assurances that progress was carrying on smoothly, Hussie initiated the “Gigapause” both to take care of personal matters and later to get directly involved in the development of the game himself. He decided to move to southern California from the east coast in hopes that working directly with the GC could help them overcome whatever obstacles they were facing with Hiveswap’s development. GC responded positively to the prospect of Hussie’s involvement, but when he made the move and tried to coordinate a time to visit the GC offices and meet, GC insisted it was a bad time due to office renovations and a busy schedule. Here is a timeline with quotes from emails exchanged between Hussie and GC:

May 12, 2014 - from Hussie to GC

“Just letting you know I actually moved to the west coast recently. I'm only an hour or so away from LA now.

I could drive down and check out the office, see how things are going with the game and animation in person some time soon. Is there a time that would work for you guys? In a week or two maybe?”

May 15, 2014 - from GC to Hussie

“That's awesome about being on the west coast. It'd be great to have you come to the studio.

Dev has slowed a bit on our end, as we wanted to take a step back and really evaluate what was needed and the best way to achieve the features that have been coming online in the docs. We're continuing to break that all down so we can build and plan most effectively moving forward. We also wanted to find some simple formats for input from your writing team for dialogue content and are getting that squared away.

The best time to come by would actually be right after E3. Things are a bit nuts until then.”

May 18, 2014 - from Hussie to GC

“[Name redacted], sounds good. I'll set aside some time after E3 to make the drive down. As we approach the date, just let me know what works for you.”

E3 was June 10-12, 2014. GC did not invite Hussie to visit at this time.

Hussie and WP representatives were in LA over July 4th weekend, 2014. When they inquired about visiting the offices again they were still not welcome. A GC representative insisted that they meet at a restaurant instead. Yet GC continued to telegraph that they were receptive to the idea of inviting Hussie to the office well into the summer:

Aug 18, 2014 - from GC to Hussie

“We'd love to set up a new time for Andrew to come to the studio as well as a skype chat to meet the other team members.”

Despite apparent enthusiasm about meeting with Andrew in their email correspondence, GC continued the pattern of refusing to meet at the office or supply any signs of progress on the prototype.

Over that summer, GC delivered several pieces of concept art that WP had been requesting since January. Hussie did his best to present this publicly as a positive development as WP felt it would be counterproductive to the project and harmful to GC to publicly detail the development troubles at the time.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/14293468/homestuck-adventure-game/posts/883860

There was no indication from GC that the Act 7 animation project was in any way in conflict with Hiveswap development. GC was enthusiastic about taking on this project, and bidded against other animators for the contract. They saw it as a useful tie-in to concept art work on Hiveswap, as GC leadership conveyed in an email to WP in early 2013:

WP also does not have any reason to believe that the Act 7 project in practice created a conflict that was not disclosed by GC to WP. Act 7 was a 2D animation project, and Hiveswap at the time was a 3D game, so it did not pull GC’s programmers or 3D artists away from work on Hiveswap. GC never mentioned the development needs of a separate project at all to WP, or cited any such reason as distracting from work on Hiveswap; GC instead repeatedly provided WP with various assurances that everything was still fine with Hiveswap.

Had GC communicated that they had scheduling conflicts or some other impediment preventing them from developing Hiveswap, WP would have terminated the contract even sooner.

WP moved to terminate the agreement with GC late summer of 2014, and Hussie pivoted towards establishing a new independent game studio while consulting with a designer who had stepped up into a leadership position during the GC development period. That individual lived in NYC, which is why that location was chosen to establish the new studio rapidly. They helped build the studio through a local network of professional contacts. While this “What Pumpkin NYC” studio shared a name with What Pumpkin, it’s important to note that all of WP NYC’s studio staff save for the aforementioned individual were hired without any prior affiliation with WP and thus had no association with the GC contract. WP documented this development on Kickstarter on October 30th, 2014. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/14293468/homestuck-adventure-game/posts/1035099

At this point, negotiations were very amicable; both parties agreed the project simply wasn’t turning out to be a good fit for GC, and were both ready to move on. There were no signs given at all that WP was about to have trouble recovering the remaining funds.

WP is legally permitted to discuss details of the resolution of the dispute only under very specific circumstances. WP may make additional disclosures outside of this post to individual backers in accordance with legal obligations.

Following resolution of the GC contract, in Spring 2015 the WP NYC studio was running at full capacity on Hiveswap. The main problem was the fact that WP management was blindsided by the revelation that much less money would be coming back than expected. The WP NYC project manager had designed the schedule based on the good faith presumption that most of the development funds would be recouped. When it was finally revealed the return was far short of what was expected, and the repayment plan could in no way keep up with the schedule as currently drafted, it threw the project into a period of chaos as plans were quickly redrawn. The length of Act 1 was slashed, and other modifications were made to try to fit the rest of Act 1 into the newly shortened runway. But in the end, the revisions still weren't enough to save the game as it existed, and the studio needed to be closed in order to reserve what funds remained to finish the project in some form.

This may have come across as a sudden or spontaneous decision. Part of this is because the WP NYC senior staff and WP ownership were doing everything in their power to save the project, including injecting WP regular operating funds into the project, until it was determined that going any further would be disastrous for the future of Hiveswap. Another is that WP was legally unable to give any detailed disclosures about the financial troubles, even to many of the WP NYC staff.

It should also be noted that originally the NYC studio was not going to be permanently closed, but only frozen for a reassessment of the project. But during this freeze period, there were some dramatic events. One staff member behaved in a destructive and threatening manner. For the protection of those involved, details shouldn't be disclosed. But these events made navigating the post-freeze issues impossible. Communication between ownership, management and staff broke down because of these events, and the freeze turned into full closure. This version of the project was then abandoned for many reasons, including these events.

Some misinformation claims that at the time the WP NYC studio was shuttered, its iterations of Act 1 and 2 were complete. This is wrong. Act 1 was very far from a shippable state and absolutely no work on Act 2 had been completed besides some concept and 3D art. Here you can see a video documenting one of many major bugs with critical path progression in the final build produced by WP NYC, where it becomes impossible to re-focus on the Simon Says toy if Joey fails and then exits out of the puzzle:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M2mmkMx8Wkwp1VU_5IpMKDvngmUFS0IG/view?usp=sharing

At the point the WP NYC studio was frozen it was still difficult to finish a full run of the critical path without the debug tool, and the UI was far from complete. With that build, Act 1 ended the moment Joey passed through the portal on Earth. The current version of Act 1, where Joey makes it to Alternia and meets Xefros, is more indicative of the original length of the NYC version of Act 1. Not only did it need to be slashed from what the original script proposed, the NYC version of Act 1 still wasn't that close to resembling a shippable product after those changes were made.

Because of the amount of time and resources already devoted to this project, WP was initially very reluctant to lay anyone off or scrap the work being done. It was for this reason that the studio stayed open for months after the contract with GC was resolved; WP made every effort to deliver a game with that team, but at the time WP NYC was shuttered, the funds just weren't there to keep the studio running at its current burn rate and schedule slips. The game was never going to reach delivery with the funds available. The studio urgently needed to be frozen for a full reassessment, and then it was closed after the freeze due to the reasons stated above. This was the only course of action that could have saved the project.

To WP's knowledge every artist whose work was used in the final release of Act 1 was included in the credits. The final version of Act 1 was in large part built off concept art and storyboards drawn during the WP NYC era, and many of the artists who made them continued to work on the team that produced the final version of Act 1; the roadmap for the completion of Act 1 was specifically planned because WP had determined that the existing 2D concepts could easily be refined into a final product that would both be visually appealing and more economic to produce. Unfortunately due to the transition to 2D WP no longer had a place for the 3D artists or the original 3D engine, and all of those assets were dropped. They were not used as a basis for the finished assets in Act 1, and visual similarities to WP NYC 3D assets are due to the fact that final Act 1 assets are in large part refinements of the original concept art. Any artist whose work was used incidentally was included in Additional Contributions.

Both the GC and NYC phases of Hiveswap were setbacks to the overall fulfillment of the project, but not insurmountable. WP reorganized the budget to establish a new version of the studio, and Act 1 was released two years after the closure of NYC.

As an addendum, WP has identified the primary source of a disclosure to a well-circulated document of the Hiveswap development process. WP has been aware of a pattern of false claims this former employee has made since the end of their employment at the beginning of 2014. As this individual was not present during the end of the development contract with GC, nor the WP NYC development period, all of the information they have shared is based on speculation and conjecture.

At this time, WP does not wish to invite more controversy into the lives of anyone previously involved with this project, and considers these matters to have been resolved long ago. The goal for years has been to turn the page on flawed attempts by earlier studios, and simply move forward and bring Hiveswap to completion without sparking the chaos, disruption, and threats to personal safety that would have resulted from disclosing many of the details stated above. Doing so would only make it more difficult for the staff to rebuild the project during these periods immediately following the termination of the GC agreement and closure of the NYC studio. Since preservation of the project was the primary responsibility to the backers, making destructive disclosures that put the project at risk along the way would have been at odds with that responsibility. This policy also served to protect individuals from personal or professional harm, including those who were responsible for serious setbacks with the project. Please respect the privacy of any persons affiliated with GC and WP NYC.

#homestuck #replies #anonymous #hiveswap

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all