Tumgik
#there are far too many characters for me to tag
annwrites · 3 days
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exactly what he needs, pt. 4 ♡ ⋆。˚ | other parts here
— pairing: nate jacob x fem!reader
— type: ficlet (multi-chapter)
— summary: nate & you have breakfast together, made by you. he then takes you grocery shopping, & later in the week, he finally asks you to be his!
— tags: cute lil domestic moments, you wearing nate's jersey, meeting the parents day 1, first kiss
— tw: dollification (mans isn't even trying to hide it anymore, he straight-up is tying bows in your hair now), eating, snooping, it being implied that nate has already thought about one day baby-trapping you if push-comes-to-shove, misogyny (he's so mean to cassie), threatening, f receiving oral, emotional manipulation, possessiveness
— word count: 11,661
— a/n: reader uses pads bc i use pads & we are all about self-inserts around here (i never learned how to use tampons, don't judge me). honestly, idk how nate would feel about pads. like, on the one hand, i can see him as seeing them as more "unsanitary", but also preferring it if reader is still a virgin. tbh, he prob just tries to pretend periods don't exist, & doesn't want to hear about it if you're on yours, apart from a slight heads-up & being informed once everything down there is back to normal.
i hope this doesn't seem like things are moving too fast in reader & nate already getting together, but tbf, nate & cassie had hung out for what? prob at most a couple hrs when fezco beat his ass, & then the boy is lying in the hospital thinking he's in love & wants to have babies with her. i say it's on-par for his character lol.
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The next morning after your day together is the first time Nate ever shoots you a text. 
A simple Good morning, sweetheart.
You stare at it for around ten minutes, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. You type up a reply, then delete it. Then type up another and backspace the entirety of it as well.
Finally, you press send on a simple Good morning. (:
Nate: Any plans for today?
You: Might clean the house a bit, then go grocery shopping.
You watch as three little dots dance on your screen, then suddenly disappear. You then suppose you’ve not supplied an incredibly interesting answer.
You toss your phone down on the bed, deciding to finally get up for the day. It’s nearly fifteen minutes later when you check your texts again and see that Nate replied…ten minutes ago.
Nate: How do you get your groceries home?
You: There’s a store not too far from here. If I don’t have very many, I usually just carry them as I walk. If I have quite a few, sometimes I take the bus.
Speaking of which, you need to check the schedule for it today and plan accordingly. That is, until Nate replies. 
Nate: I can drive you there and back. I don’t mind.
You begin to type, telling him that’s completely unnecessary, but you’re not fast enough.
A text from him pops up: omw
You throw yourself back on your bed, groaning. You’ve just woken up.
You hadn’t planned to go to the store for perhaps a few more hours. You want to at least wake up first. Eat something, then clean. Even if the house is already essentially spotless, but you have a cleaning schedule you try to adhere to to keep it that way. And to give yourself something to do on the weekends in your spare time.
Which is, apart from tutoring, all you really have.
You decide to just stay in your PJs—a pair of soft blue shorts with clouds on them and a white t-shirt.
You’ve already washed your face and brushed your teeth, as well as your hair—which is now in a bun atop your head.
You make your bed, opening your curtains, letting the morning sunshine into your room before you go to the living room and flip the lock on the door to let Nate in.
You then head to the kitchen to decide on what to make for breakfast. You’re torn between eggs and bacon, or waffles, with perhaps a small side of French toast, when you hear a truck roar into your driveway.
You’re torn from your debating over breakfast by a knock on the door.
“It’s open!”
Nate enters the house, slipping off his shoes, closing the door behind him. 
“I’m in the kitchen,” you call softly.
He comes to stand in the entryway. “Want me to give you a few while you get ready?”
He surely hopes you’re not the type who goes to the store in her pajamas, at least.
You turn around to look at him, leaning back against the counter behind you, crossing your arms over your chest. “Actually, I was planning on going later this afternoon. After cleaning. And eating… I haven’t had breakfast yet,” you say sheepishly.
“Shit,” he hangs his head for a moment, then looks at you again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fuck up your plans for the day. I just didn’t have anything to do this morning, so I thought I’d run over and help you out.”
You shake your head. “It’s ok. I appreciate it. You don’t have to stay if you have somewhere else you need to be.”
“I don’t. Not until this evening, at least.”
His dipshit dad wants everyone to have a family dinner together, while Nate wants to do anything else.
Like be here with you.
“Have you eaten yet?”
He has—a breakfast burrito maybe an hour ago. “No, do you want to go somewhere and get breakfast?”
“I could make us something instead?” You turn back around, opening the fridge again. “Any requests?”
He’s quiet for a moment, just taking you and this moment both in. You, still in your pajamas, having just rolled out of bed a little while ago, standing in the kitchen in the early-morning light, offering to cook for him. It’s all so…domestic. And a warm feeling forms in his chest at it—imaging this as his home with you. Imagining you’re both married and your kids are still asleep in the other room. 
You glance back to him.
He shakes his head to clear it. “I’m sorry, I’ve just never done—had this before.”
“What?”
“My-” he stops himself before he can say ‘girlfriend’. “A girl cooking for me.”
Your brows furrow. “Really? Neither Cassie or Maddy ever did?”
He chuckles. “I honestly don’t think of either of them know how.”
“That’s sad,” you state simply, before turning back around. “So, do you want bacon and eggs, or waffles, pancakes…I can do French toast?”
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me.” He likes that you know how to make so many things. That you want to do so for him. He’d chosen right with you. 
You turn around yet again. “You’re my guest, so you get to pick.”
He smirks, shrugging. “Bacon and eggs is fine with me.”
“How do you like your eggs?”
“Scrambled works.”
You nod, then start pulling out cookware.
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Nate had stood to the side, watching as you worked, occasionally sipping on a mug of black coffee—you’d put some on just after having gotten up. He’d asked more than once if you wanted help as he watched you flit about the kitchen, but you’d only smiled and shook your head.
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Finally, once breakfast is ready, you make the both of you a plate and carry them into the dining room, sitting his plate on one side of the table and yours on the other.
You take your seat before he can bother pulling it out for you. He tries not to let it irk him. He tells himself it’s because it’s a habit, since you’re in your own home. You’re not used to being catered to. But neither is he.
Thankfully, Nate had gone for a run after eating earlier, so he’s able to clean his plate. He doesn’t want your feelings hurt—for you to feel insulted—by him not eating every last bite. And it had been rather good, actually.
“You’re a good cook.” 
You look up to him, beaming. “Thank you, I’m glad you liked it. Do you want anything else?”
He leans back, shaking his head. “I don’t think I can fit anymore.”
You nod, standing, taking both your plates into the kitchen, placing them in the dishwasher.
You return to the dining room and remain silent as Nate types a message out on his phone, looking up to you as he tucks it back into his pocket.
“I’ll get dressed and then we can head out.”
He stands. “It’s warm out.”
You smile. “Thanks for the forecast.”
He smirks. “You could—if you want to—wear the skirt and top I bought you.”
You’d hung everything up to dry last night and had truthfully forgotten about all of it until his just-now reminding you.
“Unless you don’t like them?”
You shake your head. “No, I do. I just…I wish you had asked me first.”
“Would you have let me get them for you if I had?”
You wrap your arms around yourself. “Probably not.”
“Then I made the right decision to make it a surprise.” 
He heads in the direction of your bedroom, then, and you trail after him. “I just don’t understand why.”
You feel stupid, speaking to the back of his head.
He comes to sit in the swing-chair in the corner of your room. “Why what?”
“Why you bought me everything you did. I looked up the necklace, how much it costs…”
He’s unphased by it, knowing he’d spent well over a grand on you yesterday. But in truth, it hadn’t been nearly the amount he’d wanted to spend.
He'd wanted—more than anything—to take you into a lingerie store and blow a ton of cash on you there, watching you try on everything he asked you to. But he knew better. For now, at least.
“So I wanted to get you a few nice things. You act like it’s some sort of terrible thing for me to have done.”
You sit on the corner of your bed, facing him. “I’m very grateful. For all of it. I just…I hope you don’t think you need to buy my friendship, Nate. I’m not going anywhere.”
It has nothing to do with friendship. But he can’t tell you just how much it turns him on: spoiling you, buying you expensive things, the idea of you being covered in him—from shoes, to clothes, to jewelry, to perfume and more. It gets him off—makes getting off easier, in truth. Until he has your body to do that with, that is, at least.
He leans forward. “I’m glad to hear that. But you don’t have to worry—I never thought I did.”
He glances to your closet. “Do you want to get dressed?”
“I should probably check to make sure everything is dry. I hung everything up last night.”
You leave your bedroom, heading in the direction of the laundry room. 
Meanwhile, Nate stands, finally having a moment alone in your room. He wrenches open the drawer on your bedside table and is met with a couple remotes, a book, a few hair ties, a charging cable…nothing of interest. So he closes it.
Heart pounding, he peeks out your bedroom door—you’re nowhere to be seen—and he then opens the top drawer of your dresser next. Ever-organized, your panties are all in individual cubbies—all cotton, some solid colors, others with patterns printed across them, like small flowers and stars. He picks up a bra. White, with a bit of lace, a small bow in the front, another sage-green. Everything utterly virginal. He digs, but finds not one sex toy.
Perhaps you have them elsewhere. 
He jumps when he hears a door close. He steps into the hall a moment and sees the bathroom door is now shut. 
He returns to your room, getting on the floor and looking under your bed, where there’s only a couple vacuum-sealed bags full of clothes. He then quietly opens your closet. On the top shelf are a few boxes. He pulls down a shoe box, which, unsurprisingly, has a pair of brand new tennis shoes inside. He puts it back, pulling down another.
And it’s full of old Polaroids. They’re all from when you were younger. You and your dad, another of the two of you, a photo of a butterfly, another of a dog looking up at the camera, and he nearly drops the box when he finds a picture of the two of you. The pair of you can’t be more than six or seven-years-old, both of you smiling toothy grins up at the camera.
He flips it over. Written in faded blue ink on the back, it reads “Nate + Y/N ‘05”. He pockets the picture, putting the lid back on the box and setting it back in your closet. 
He stops snooping and sits back in his previous seat, unable to remember the picture ever having been taken. He wonders if you do.
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When you finally emerge from the bathroom, Nate is still sitting in the corner of your room, his head leaned back and eyes closed, hands folded in his lap.
You silently sit on the edge of your bed, folding your legs over one another, draping your new pink skirt over them. You don't want to wake him, so just as you begin to consider changing back, closing your door and cleaning the house while he rests, he slowly opens his eyes.
"If you'd like to take a nap, you can."
He shakes his head, looking you over. You look perfect. For the most part. "Don't want to wear your necklace today?"
You glance to the robin's-egg colored box on top of your dresser. In truth, you're a bit paranoid about wearing something so expensive. What if the chain breaks and by the time you realize, it's long-gone?
You then look back to him, watching as he stands, opens the small box, then removes the necklace inside.
He comes to sit down behind you, slipping the chain around your neck, fastening it into place.
He then begins to tug the hairband from your ponytail.
You half-turn your head back toward him. "What're you-"
"Do you mind if I do your hair for you?"
You're starting to wonder if Nate has some hidden interest in hair-styling.
"I...I guess not."
He slips your hairband free, it coming to rest on his wrist along with the one he'd taken from you yesterday.
You sit there silently, enjoying the feeling of someone else's fingers in your hair once again, your cheeks growing warm as you feel him pull one side of your hair into a pigtail—something you're not quite sure about, but you decide to only make a judgement once he's finished.
He then does the same with the other side, smoothing some hair down your back, before gripping both your upper arms. "Done."
You stand, walking over to the mirror set atop your dresser and inspecting the half-up, half-down style. One pigtail on either side, the rest of your hair against your back.
"I think you look really pretty like that," he says from the bed behind you.
Who knew the star-quarterback had hidden hair-dressing talents.
You turn back around to him. "So when do I get to do your hair?"
He raises a brow.
"I could put clips and bows and ribbons-"
"Do you have ribbons?"
He...he can't seriously want you to put one in his hair...
"Yes."
He stands. "Where?"
"In the bathroom, the second drawer below the sink."
He leaves you standing there as he goes to rifle through them, returning a moment later with two that match the color of your skirt.
"Nate-"
"Turn around."
You're not sure that you appreciate his demanding tone, but do as he says nevertheless.
Once you have bows tied around either pigtail, Nate puts his hand against the small of your back. "Let's head out."
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When the two of you arrive at the store, you go to get out, until Nate stops you by grabbing your left hand. "Wait for me to get it."
You sit back in your seat and wait for him to come around to your side. Once the door is open, you speak. "You don't have to come in with me if you'd rather wait here. I know grocery shopping, well, shopping in general, can be tedious."
He shrugs. "I don't mind."
He takes your hand, helping you down and shuts the door, leading you inside.
Nate stays close to your side as you toss various items into your cart—paying acute attention to each thing you do. You don't get a terrible amount of junk food, but he wishes you'd forgo the cereal. He'd already told you from here on out he'd be bringing you breakfast every morning.
He studies what kind of conditioner you use, what kind of lady razor, even your morning facial-wash. He briefly daydreams about getting you ready for the day—the detailed process he would go through to make you look like his own perfect living doll.
It's when you're in the frozen foods aisle that you briefly pause as he pretends to look over the frozen pizzas, when he's actually watching you. Watching you stare at a couple across the way, giggling and kissing each other, the girl's hand resting over her swollen belly, that is.
Hurt flashes across your features and he briefly grows angry, wondering if it's jealousy—if you know the man.
He steps over to you. "Do you know them?"
You jump in surprise at his presence, having been lost in your thoughts. You shake your head, throwing a bag of frozen vegetables in the cart. "No." You're quiet for a moment. "I was just thinking."
"About?"
You look at the happy pair again. "What that must feel like."
He places his palm against the small of your back, refusing to remove it for the rest of the shopping trip.
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Nate of course takes it upon himself to not only load every single grocery bag into the bed of his truck, but also unloading and bringing every one into the kitchen once you're home. He simply watches from a kitchen island stool as you put them away.
He eventually excuses himself to your bathroom, deciding to finally cross the boundary of going through your medicine cabinet.
He locks the door, turning the faucet on as he goes through the cabinet under your sink first. Some toilet paper, a box of pads, some pantiliners, cotton balls, cotton pads—basic bathroom paraphernalia.
He then starts pulling open drawers. One he's already familiar with, it's filled with small baskets which hold elastics, hair bands, bows, clips, headbands and the like. Another houses hot-tools: a curling iron, which looks barely-used, a straightener, which has clearly been well-loved—the company name all but rubbed off of it, even an old crimping iron, and a blow-dryer.
He moves onto the last drawer, which just has extra toothpaste, toothbrushes, some lotion, triple antibiotic, extra shaving gel, and some other odds-and-ends.
Finally, he opens the medicine cabinet, curious if you're on birth control. If so, that will be coming to a stop immediately. Not only does he hate the horrid list of side effects that come with it, but once the two of you start fucking, he wants to be in complete control of your reproductive options.
Needs to be if... Well, if he eventually decides he can't live without you and has to resort to drastic options to keep the two of you permanently connected for the rest of your lives, he'll have that option.
But all he finds is some Tylenol, Advil, expired allergy pills, an old prescription bottle with your dad's name on it, a bottle of mouthwash, a small cup of bobby pins, some q-tips, and a couple—of course—clean makeup brushes, a few other items here and there.
He quickly searches the shower and just finds a few bottles of various kinds of soap.
Finally, he flushes the toilet, turns the water off, and comes to join you in the kitchen.
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Nate had left not longer after you'd finished cleaning the house, him offering to help, but you telling him you could never ask a guest to do such a thing, so he'd instead sat on the couch, idly watching football, fantasizing once again about you being his perfect little housewife. Cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping for him, allowing him to dress you up and show you off.
It's in the moment as he watches you humming to yourself as you dust off the mantle that he decides this Thursday you'll finally be his.
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Nate continues on with the studying ruse to continue spending one-on-one time with you.
Monday, you'd done exactly as he'd asked: you'd worn the white dress, a pair of flats with it even, your new necklace, a hint of blush, and you'd even curled your hair, which had made him hard near-instantly.
It had taken everything in him not to hold your hand as the two of you walked into school. As soon as he spotted Lexi—the ridiculous look on her face as she watched the two of you—he pulled you in the other direction before you could see her yourself, seating you with him and his friends. When you had brought up going to find Lexi, he'd merely told you he thought it might be nice for you to meet some new people that morning.
He knew by their expressions that his friends had wanted to say something—anything about you—perhaps throw around some vulgar jokes, but the death-glare he greeted them with instead kept them talking about football and some party that had gone on this last weekend, which he'd been unaware of, too concerned with filling his time with you.
As the week went on, the two of you began to text more and more. You woke up everyday to him and went to sleep to messages from him. He'd even called you once, and the two of you chatted for almost an hour about everything and nothing. He would've been content to stay up all night listening to your voice, until you had gotten off the phone, telling him you were going to sleep and you would see him in the morning.
You had no idea he was outside of your house that night, watching your bedside lamp flicker off.
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Thursday after school, once the two of you are finished studying, Nate finally takes the plunge, praying to fucking God he gets what he's been dying to have for the last two weeks.
He pulls out his extra jersey from his bookbag, handing it to you.
You look up to him, confused.
"I thought you could wear it tomorrow to school, and the game that night."
You look down at it, the metallic number '18' on the front, then back up to him once more. "Isn't...isn't wearing a player's jersey to school something girlfriends usually do?"
He scoots the least bit closer to you, his legs on either side of your chair. He reaches up, gently gripping the back of your neck, light enough that it seems just a sweet gesture, but he knows what he means it as: him touching what is about to belong to him.
"Would that be such a bad thing?"
You blink once, twice. "What?"
He takes one of your hands in his free one. "Listen, the last few weeks," even if he knows it's only been two, but so little time together sounds...not the best out loud, "spending time with you has been a welcome change in my life. I know it started out as just tutoring, and we can keep doing that, of course. But, Y/N, I really, really like you. Being around you is just...so fucking easy. You're easy to talk to, to hang out with, to text with. And you're incredibly beautiful. And kind. And smart. Honestly, I could go on for the next hour, if not longer, about all your admirable qualities. Suffice to say that I'm very-much interested in being with you. And if you feel the same way that I do, then maybe we can give this a shot."
A strange, uneasy feeling comes over you. You tell yourself it's because you've never been asked out before. Never had someone show such blatant interest in you before like this. You're used to being alone, so of course the idea of being with someone—anyone—but especially Nate Jacobs, star football player, his dad's name being a household name in East Highland, and the guy every girl at school seems to want—seems unthinkable.
"I...I didn't think I was your type."
So does that mean you have thought about it? Being with him?
He runs his thumb over your knuckles. "I didn't think so either. But that's precisely why I think you're so good for me. You're not attention-seeking. Dating girls like that in the past has caused me nothing but trouble. You're not superficial. You care about shit—see things—in ways others just don't. Not at our age, at least. Not at our school. You're mature, responsible, know how to take care of yourself..."
He trails off, wanting you to reply. To just say yes. To give yourself to him.
"I don't know about this..."
His grip on your hand tightens just the smallest bit. "What's your concern?"
"How do I know you're not rebounding, from Cassie or Maddy?"
He shakes his head. "I'm not. I should've been done with Maddy a long time ago for the way she treated me. What she did at McKay's...I can never forgive that. And Cassie was a mistake from the first moment. We had both been drinking. And I just...I wasn't thinking clearly. But I am now. And I know what I want."
You look down to your lap. "And what if I screw things up? I've never dated someone before. I'd have no idea what to even do."
"Nothing here has to change. Not really. Us being together just means spending more time together." He fights back a smirk. "And me finally getting to kiss you."
Your head jerks up.
"Once you're ready," he adds on, knowing you'll be ready when he deems you so.
"And what if I'm just one more person to hurt or let you down?"
He feels like with that one question alone—you being so concerned for his wellbeing—he falls in love with you.
He releases your neck, now cupping your cheek. "You won't be. Do you think I haven't thought the same thing? You were abandoned by your mom. Your dad, too, essentially. The last thing I want is to be one more person to leave you. So I don't plan to.
"Listen, I'm not saying everything is going to be like a picture-perfect fairytale all the time, but I think so long as we're both happy, give each other our all, and consistently work at what we have, then we'll both be happy.
"Just in the time we've spent together, I've already opened up more to you alone than I have to anyone else in I can't tell you how long. I trust you."
He brushes the pad of his thumb over your lower lip and you want to cry from how gentle and sweet he's being—has been—with you.
Finally, you resign yourself to the likely fate of your first heartbreak.
"Okay."
His brows raise. "Yeah?"
You nod, a small smile on your face, your eyes filling with tears of joy. "Yes."
He stands, picking you up, wrapping your legs around his middle and your arms around his neck before spinning you around. "Oh, baby, I am going to make you so fucking happy."
You look down at him, and you believe it.
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When you wake the next morning, you only get so far as brushing your teeth and washing your face when you hear a truck outside.
Still half-asleep, you wander to the front door and look through the peephole to see Nate coming up to it, one of his arms behind his back. You briefly wonder if you'd overslept as you flip the lock and open the door.
He comes in, pressing a kiss to your warm forehead. "Morning, angel."
You look up to him with sleepy eyes. "Am I running late?"
He smirks, thinking of the things he'd love to do with you while you're still half-asleep like this. It'd be too all easy to take control in bed.
He shakes his head. "No, I'm early," he says, pulling a bouquet of a dozen white roses out from behind his back.
You gasp lightly, taking them from him. "They're beautiful." You look up to him. "You didn't have to bring me flowers now that we're together."
It feels oddly strange to say.
He presses another kiss to your forehead. "I wanted to. It's something I want to do for you, bring my girlfriend flowers, take her on dates," he shuts the door behind him, backing you up against the wall, the flowers clutched against your chest as he places his palms on either side of you. "I hope you know I intend to spoil you fucking rotten."
Your eyes widen. "Oh."
He smirks. "C'mon, let's go get you ready."
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Once you've put your flowers in a glass vase near a window in the kitchen, Nate takes your hand, leading you into the bathroom.
"Sit," he says before stopping himself, nearly opening the drawer to your straightener. He doesn't need you knowing he'd been snooping. "Straightener?"
"Uh...top drawer," you reply, seating yourself on the toilet lid
He retrieves the device, plugging it in.
As it heats up, he grabs your hairbrush from atop the sink and comes to stand behind you, running the bristles through your hair.
"You...you don't have to do my hair."
"I want to."
In truth, he wants to shave and moisturize your legs as well, then dress you in his jersey—picking out a bra and panties, too, before doing your makeup.
"Did you do this for Maddy and Cassie as well?"
He'd bought Maddy clothes, but she would've never let him dress her. Would've most-likely mocked him had he so much as given her a ponytail. Cassie was obviously a different story. "No. And we don't have to talk about them anymore. They're in the past now."
You fidget nervously with your hands. "Isn't that important—addressing our pasts to get to know one another better?"
Once your hair is free of tangles, he sets the brush down on top of the toilet tank. He then comes to stand in front of you, kneeling down to make the two of you level. "It is, but I don't want you to worry about either of them. You're the best thing for me now."
He sprays some heat-protectant on your hair before beginning to straighten it.
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Nate gives you some privacy as you go over your legs with a razor one more time before getting dressed, even if you'd shaved the night previous. When you're finished, you come to stand in front of the mirror, and you simply stare.
Your hair is like it was the other day when you went grocery shopping, only, instead of ribbons on either side, he'd used hair bands that have two small balls on them that match the color of the numbering on his jersey. He'd actually done surprisingly well in doing your hair.
When you step out of the bathroom, he's waiting for you in your bedroom, his extra jersey, which you'd had hung up in your closet, now resting on your bed.
You nearly want to pinch yourself, everything seems so unreal in this moment.
He picks up the blush he'd gotten you, along with a makeup brush from your hardly-ever-used vanity and he dips it into the fine powder before gripping your chin, swiping the brush over the apples of both of your cheeks once, then twice.
You giggle nervously. "I'm starting to feel like a living-doll or something."
He smirks, snapping the compact shut, setting the materials back where they go. "I just like taking care of you."
He picks up your diamond Tiffany necklace, one more sign of his ownership over you, and clasps it around your neck.
He nods down to the jersey. "I'll let you get dressed."
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Nate fights back a raging erection every mile to school. Here you sit, completely fucking covered in him, in the passenger seat of his truck. He'd done your hair, your makeup, bought the piece of jewelry you're now wearing, and his jersey hangs from your frame like a dress—he'd also picked out the white pair of tennis shoes from your closet that you're now wearing. Even eating a muffin he'd stopped to pick up for you.
He wants to pull over in a secluded spot somewhere and claim your virginity—one more part of you that will now belong to him—but he tells himself that will come soon enough.
If his plan works, you'll be in his bed, a whimpering, crying, whining, begging mess under him, sooner rather than later.
Your pussy will be his to fuck whenever and however he pleases.
He'll finally be back to no longer having to use his hand.
His fucked-up sexual fantasies of the two of you will finally get to come true
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When Nate pulls into the lot, he 'accidentally' steps on one of your shoelaces after you've gotten out of the truck. He lifts you back up into your seat, setting your foot atop his knee—just like at the bowling alley—and people watch from their cars as he ties your shoe for you.
Finally, he takes your hand, firmly twining your fingers together, before locking his vehicle behind the two of you, as you walk into school together.
And you feel yourself begin to sweat nervously with every pair of eyes that turn your way, some people clearly not thinking much of it—bless those few—while others react with shocked expressions, whispering amongst themselves, eyeing you up and down, making you want to crawl inside a hole.
You look up to Nate and he looks nothing short of confident and unbothered.
You then glance over to Lexi's table and Lexi's expression somehow looks...sad? Disappointed, maybe?
Cassie, however, is shaking she's so enraged.
You quickly balk and look away from her before sitting down beside Nate, thankful you had worn a pair of black bicycle shorts under his jersey.
You drown out Nate's football friends chatting with him about tonight's game as he places his hand on your knee, then slowly moves it higher, then higher, until it's on the middle of your thigh.
You can feel your face growing warm out of mortification. What if someone sees? Thinks that the two of you are...well, already doing that.
You're torn from worrisome thoughts, thinking perhaps you'd made a mistake—you're not sure exactly what choice to consider as much—by Nate squeezing your leg.
You blink up at him. "What?"
He nods toward his friend. "He asked you a question."
You look at the young man across the table, who's maybe a year younger than the both of you, with black hair and hazel eyes, braces still on his teeth.
"I'm sorry, I guess I didn't hear you."
"I asked if you were going to be at the game tonight, since you're Nate's new girl."
"Of course she is," Nate replies for you. "She'll be in the stands cheering us onto victory. Right, baby?"
You give him a nervous smile, then nod.
He's pleased with your agreeable response.
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When you get into second period, Cassie is already there, in her seat, which is just behind and diagonal to yours. You don't look at her as you lie your books on your desk, afraid to meet her eyes.
Then you hear her whisper "bitch" as you take your seat.
You slowly turn back to look at her, filled with hurt at the cruel name.
She gives you a nasty look. "What are you looking at?" She asks in a snide tone.
You turn back around without another word, fighting back tears for the rest of class, unable to think of anything else but how she'd always been so nice to you, and now despises you.
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Once class is over, you go out to your locker, so distracted that you don't see Nate leaning against the one next to it with a smile meant only for you.
A smile that immediately disappears when he sees the sullen look on your face, and your bloodshot eyes.
You fumble with your lock twice before finally getting your locker open.
"What's wrong?"
You nearly jump at the sound of his voice.
You shake your head, setting your books back on their shelves with shaking hands. "N-nothing."
He leans down closer to you and speaks gently, quietly. "Something happened. Tell me."
He isn't going to take no for an answer.
You shake your head and he feels his fuse growing shorter. "Did someone say something to you?"
You look up to him. "I don't want to cause any trouble."
He delicately laces his fingers through your hair. "You won't. Just tell me what happened, sweetheart."
You shift from one foot to the other, clutching one of your textbooks to your chest. "Cassie. She-"
His tone grows hard. "What did she do?"
"When I got into class she called me a bitch. I wasn't...I wasn't sure if I heard her correctly. I turned around to look at her and she just...she had such a mean look on her face and asked me what I was looking at, so I just turned around."
He clenches his jaw so hard he's sure it will break. If that stupid whore ruins what he'd just gotten to finally happen with you—making you his—he'll fucking kill her. Actually kill her.
He wants to make a scene right in the middle of the hallway, wants to show you just how far he's willing to go to protect you, even just your feelings, but he knows it will only frighten you away. Showing his devotion to you in extreme measures is something that will have to come in time.
He presses a firm kiss to your forehead, staring down Cassie across the way, who's watching the both of you with a devastated look on her face. He then looks down at you, lifting your chin until your eyes are looking into his own. "Just ignore her. She's jealous. That's all it is. Eventually she'll get over it and move onto her next flavor-of-the-month."
You nod, grabbing the rest of your things for third period.
He smiles down at you, brushing his knuckles against your cheek. "I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to run to the restroom first."
You nod, heading to class.
Once you're out of sight, he makes a b-line for Cassie.
And the dumb bitch is stupid enough to actually smile at him.
When he reaches her, he slams her locker shut with one hand—causing her to jump—keeping it firmly in place against it as he stares her down. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
She shakes some hair off of her shoulder, looking up to him, back straight, eyes pensive. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"That's complete fucking bull. Y/N told me what happened in second period." He lowers his voice so only she can hear. "Let's get one thing straight, you desperate whore, if you screw this up for me, you won't like what happens to you. You have no idea the things I'm capable of—the lengths I'm willing to go to—when someone tries to destroy my life or take someone I love away from me."
She flinches at that—him admitting it—his feelings for you. And after such a short time...
"We had our fun, now I'm done with you, just like the other half of the male student population here. The fuck did you really think was going to happen with us? Did you think we'd...what? Get married, have kids, and live in a cul-de-sac in some fantasy where you're actually a good person that any man would deem worthy of marriage? I got exactly what I wanted and threw your ass to the curb when I got bored and you started acting fucking psychotic."
He points his finger at her face and she shrinks back against a locker, tears stinging her eyes. "Stay the fuck away from me, and even further away from Y/N. If I find out you've said another word—so much as come near her... Just try me, Cass."
With that, he steps away, heading to third period.
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After school, Nate drops you off, promising he'll be back that evening to pick you up before the game, and you give him a soft kiss on the cheek before he leaves.
Once you're alone, for some reason, you feel like you can finally breathe. Like some weight had been bearing down on your chest all day and has suddenly lifted.
You blame it on the crowded halls and your noisy classmates.
You leave your hair the way it is, but change into something more comfortable before finding something to eat and sitting down to do homework.
In the middle of finishing your math homework, you begin to think of what had happened with Cassie. It had hurt your feelings, but you aren't angry. If anything, you feel sad on her behalf. While she was, of course, partly to blame, she'd still lost her best friend and boyfriend both, as well as earning herself an even worse reputation around school. You tell yourself the anger isn't necessarily directed at you. That's she's just lashing out in general due to being hurt and alone, and you're an easy target.
You're not sure trying to make nice with her is a good idea, however.
Your phone buzzes, ripping you away from your worries about Maddy trying to come after you next, even if she seems to have far less interest in you and Nate—minus that day in the parking lot—when you check it. You see that it's from Nate.
Nate: Be by around 6 to pick you up.
You: See you then. (:
Nate: Make sure to wear my jersey. 🏈
You grin at his finally using emojis.
You: I will. ❤️
You're left with a little over two hours to yourself before he'll be there to pick you up again. So you take another shower, knowing you sweated a bit more than usual today, then lie back on your bed and try to distract yourself with a movie.
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Shortly before six, you dress in Nate's jersey again, and a fresh pair of panties and bicycle shorts before going out to sit on the swing in front of your house to wait for him.
You can't help but smile when he pulls up, butterflies in your stomach.
He comes around, opening the passenger door to the truck. Once you're seated, before you can buckle yourself, he does so for you.
You don't manage to say anything, such as telling him that him doing that really isn't necessary, before he shuts the door.
Nate rolls down the windows, blasting upbeat rap music on the way back to the school. You smile, thinking he looks cute when he's excited. He doesn't seem to exhibit that emotion a lot.
Then again, apart from winning at bowling, neither do you.
Perhaps the both of you are too serious for your age.
You lean back, a smile on your face, and he rests his hand on your upper thigh. You tell yourself you're fine with him touching you there.
That it doesn't make you uncomfortable.
That he's just trying to be a sweet boyfriend.
Once the two of you pull in, the parking lot is only sparingly filled. But the game also doesn't start until after seven.
Once Nate has helped you out of the truck, disliking that you'd already unbuckled yourself before he got a chance to, he takes your hand in his—his duffle bag slung over his other shoulder—as he heads in the direction of the field house. One you're around the backside of the school, he drops his bag on the ground, turning back to you.
He cups your cheek in his large palm. "Can I get a kiss for good luck?"
You hesitate for a moment. Then, "Yes," you say with a shy smile.
He smiles down at you in return before pressing you up against the brick building, then lowering his lips to yours.
He fights back a moan at finally getting to be this: your first kiss. The first one to taste you. The only person to ever have this intimate moment with you.
He opens your mouth with his, gently flicking his tongue against your own and he feels your body stiffen, until he does it again and you relax.
He stays like that for a good few minutes, his tongue tasting you, the sun beating down on his back as his form shadows your own, both your eyes closed as you, after seventeen years, finally find out what it's like to be kissed.
And it's slow and gentle and passionate. And you feel heat pool between your thighs.
You whimper against his lips and his cock hardens at the sound.
He pulls back just the least bit, his lips hovering over your own, which are now red, a bit swollen. "What was that?"
"I dunno," you say, gripping his t-shirt, pulling him back down to you.
He grows impossibly harder at the fact you want more.
He easily obliges.
He wants to move his lips down to your neck, wants to give you a hicky before you go sit on the bleachers for the game, but doesn't.
Finally, he pulls away, both your breathing labored. "Alright, I have to go get ready, my little good-luck charm."
You laugh at that.
He presses one more soft kiss to your lips before reaching down and grabbing his bag.
"Oh," he says, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. "This is for your ticket." He hands you a five dollar bill. "And this is incase you want anything from the concessions."
He hands you a fifty and your eyes widen.
"I don't think a pretzel costs that much, Nate."
He shrugs. "Maybe you'll want a souvenir of your first game."
You stand on your tiptoes and he smirks, leaning down again as you wrap your arms around his neck. You press a soft kiss to his cheek, before whispering in his ear. "Good luck. And thank you."
He kisses your lips again before stepping away. "I'll look for you in the bleachers."
He begins to walk backwards toward the field house.
"I'll be there cheering you on."
He smiles at the image of that. "Maybe we can do something after."
You nod. "Good luck!"
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Surprisingly, when you go to sit on the bleachers, Cassie, who's gathered with the rest of the cheerleaders, doesn't look back at you but once, shortly after you first sit down. It'd only been a glance, and then her completely ignoring you, which you're beyond okay with.
You'd bought yourself a water before finding a seat, the day still hot with the sun out, even if it's beginning to slowly set.
A sense of thrill fills you when the players run onto the field, your eyes immediately honing in on number eighteen.
You feel your cheeks grow impossibly warmer when you remember your kiss from earlier.
You watch as the players gather around their coach, Nate removing his helmet as they—you assume—strategize. He glances up to you and gives you a wink and you smile in return, blowing him a kiss.
Once they break, Nate pretends to catch it, pressing it to his chest before putting his helmet back on.
You can't help but admire him in his uniform.
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You've never liked sports before tonight. But with Nate now being your boyfriend and out there on the field, you're completely engrossed. You sit on the edge of your seat the entire game, just watching him running this way and that across the field, blushing when you think about the two of you wearing matching jerseys.
And every time he scores a touchdown, which turns out to be a lot, you hop up from your seat, clapping and smiling, feeling proud of him.
In all honesty, seeing him plowing through the other players and tackling and just...playing the game...actually turns you on a little. Okay, perhaps a bit more than a little. It just makes him look so strong.
You wonder what he would think of that fact.
Once the game is over, the Blackhawks having unsurprisingly won, Nate removes his helmet, yelling and laughing in victory with the rest of his teammates. You smile, glad to see him happy.
He looks into the stands, searching for you and finds you in the same spot you've been in all night.
He waves his hand for you to come down and you do, coming to stand on the other side of the fence from him.
He rests his forearms atop it. "So, what did you think?"
You grip a few of his fingers. "I had fun, which I didn't expect." You giggle to yourself.
"What?" He asks with a smirk.
You shake your head.
"Well, now you have to tell me."
You look up at him from under your lashes and he can already tell he's going to fucking love whatever is about to come out of that pretty little mouth.
"You look really good in your uniform."
He leans forward. "Oh, yeah?"
You nod. "Mhm."
He reaches forward, gripping the one you're wearing, bringing you a bit closer to him. "So do you."
You kiss then, the taste of him now mixed with sweat and grass and fresh air.
He pulls away. "Climb over here."
Watch me fall or hurt myself, you think as you wedge your tennis shoe in the chain-link fence. Once you're halfway up, Nate lifts you the rest of the way over, and you wrap your legs around his middle, running your fingers through his slick hair.
"Sorry, I'm all sweaty."
You shake your head. "I don't mind," you say before kissing him.
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You wait for Nate outside of the field house, leaned back against the red brick stones, staring up at the millions of stars littering the night sky, feeling so completely happy for the first time in you're not sure how long.
Once players begin to file out, you watch for Nate to be among them. When he exits, he glances in your direction, coming over to stand in front of you, offering you his hand. "Ready?"
You nod.
Once you're in his truck, he stands in the passenger side doorway, one of his arms resting against the top of the truck, his other hand against your left calf.
"I've had a really great night, and I don't really want to just drop you off at home, and then it ends."
You just look at him, waiting for him to continue.
"If I ask you to stay the night at my place, will you?"
You shift in your seat. "Doing...doing what?"
"Just sleeping," he states. "Maybe we can watch a movie in bed or something."
You think about it for a moment, not sure you're comfortable with moving this quickly.
"What about your parents?"
"What about 'em?"
"They won't mind you bringing a girl home late at night?"
He shakes his head. "I mind my business and they mind theirs. If I want to invite someone over, they're not going to tell me no."
You think that's a very unconventional way to parent, especially when it comes to him having a girl in his room—in his bed.
"You don't think it's a little early for me to be spending the night?" You ask gently, using a kind tone to try and prevent hurting his feelings.
He's quiet for a moment, now looking away from you. "I'm sorry. I guess I got too excited to spend more time with you tonight. It was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have asked in the first place. Just forget I did."
He goes to pull away and you suddenly feel bad. You'd hurt his feeling anyway. Something you had told him you didn't want to do just yesterday.
You quickly grab his hand. "No, I'm sorry. I just...I don't-" you scramble for some excuse that isn't 'this makes me uncomfortable'. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression about me."
He softens, stepping closer to you again, his hand sliding up your thigh. "Like what?"
You relax at the tension quickly dissipating. "Like..." you bite your lip. "Like I'm easy. Or...or a slut. Or-"
That same hand comes up to caress your cheek. "Baby, you'd never even had your first kiss before tonight. I could never think that about you. You're probably the most innocent girl—person, even—at this school. And like I said, we'll only be sleeping."
You look at him for a moment. "I don't have a change of clothes. Or a toothbrush or-"
"You can just wear something of mine. And we have extras, I'll just give you one."
Finally, you cave. "Ok."
He gives you a gentle smile. "Ok."
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When you and Nate pull up to his house, you suddenly feel inadequate at the large home that looms before you. Two stories tall and very, very expensive looking.
You're so busy studying the extravagance of it that you don't notice Nate unbuckling you.
"Your house is-"
"Obnoxious, I know."
He helps you down, taking your hand in his before grabbing his bag and heading inside.
You glance around the foyer, but not for long before Nate begins pulling you toward the stairs. And then you hear his name being called from down the hall.
He stops in his tracks, rolling his eyes.
"Is that your mom?" You whisper.
He drops his duffel bag, which thumps against the floor. "Yeah."
"Nate, come in here, I want to tell you how great you were tonight!"
You take one of his hands in both of yours. "Can I meet her?"
He pulls his hand away without answering. Only, instead, giving you a 'wait here' before walking away.
You stand there, unsure about the sudden shift in his mood. It was like it had happened gradually on the way over and only became more extreme the moment her voice called to him.
Does he really hate being here that much?
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When Nate enters the kitchen, his mom is making a salad at the island, his dad grabbing a beer from the fridge.
Marsha walks around it, gesturing for Nate to lean down to give her a hug, which he does, and she plants a quick kiss to his cheek. "You were so great tonight, honey. Your momma is very proud of you."
He nods. "Thanks."
He glances back down the hall, and then his dad speaks. "You left yourself open too much in the first quarter. I've said it before and I will again, you need to work on that, son."
Nate's fists tighten at his side.
He glances back down the hall again and immediately regrets it.
"Do we have company?" His mom asks.
"No. I do." He takes a step away.
"Wait, hold on. Who is it?"
He rolls his eyes. "Does it fucking matter? I need to get back to her-"
He lets out a low swear. He just had to say 'her'.
His mom crosses her arms, now interested. "Her? Did you bring a girl home?"
"I think your mother means 'another girl' home."
Nate glares at his father as he takes a swig of his beer. Finally, he looks back to his mom. "Yes."
Her brows raise. "Well, do I get to meet her?"
Nate sighs. He steps out of the kitchen, and you look up at him, now full of nerves. He jerks his head in the direction of the kitchen.
You walk up to him. "Is everything ok?" you whisper as he takes your hand.
"It's fine." Is all the reply he gives you before pulling you into the kitchen with him.
Your eyes look this way at that, taking in the lovely décor and the beautiful island and appliances, then looking to his mom, then his dad, who seems to be watching the two of you with no more than idle amusement.
"Mom, dad, this is Y/N. Y/N, these are my parents."
His mom steps forward first, pulling you into an unexpected hug, but you quickly embrace her in return. You don't want to admit how nice it feels to be held by a mother, even if she isn't your own.
Finally, she pulls back, holding you in place by your upper-arms as she looks you over. "Well, don't you just look adorable in Nate's old jersey."
You flush a shade of crimson. "Thank you."
She releases you, placing her hand over her chest. "I'm Marsha, the mom. And this is-"
"Cal," His father finishes, stepping up to the island, reaching across it to shake your hand.
You nearly tell him you already know his name, but refrain, knowing doing so will only make this moment more awkward.
Once introductions are through, you step back to Nate's side.
"It's nice to meet the both of you."
"Oh, she's polite!" His mom chimes in. "I already like her a lot better than Maddy. Not that that's hard to achieve." She takes a bite of her salad, swallowing. "She was a truly awful girl."
Nate wraps his arm around your waist, but before he can pull you away and get you upstairs and locked away inside his room with him, Cal speaks. "Going through 'em awful fast, aren't you, Nate? That's what, three girls now, in almost as many months?"
You feel nothing short of embarrassed, perhaps even a little ashamed, at his comment.
Nate's grip on your hip tightens painfully for a moment, and you're sure it'll leave a bruise, but you don't speak, instead just bearing witness to the now-taut silence enveloping the room.
Nate steps away from you, going over to the fridge.
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Nate grabs a beer, Cal going to grab himself another, until Nate speaks so low only he can hear. "Not nearly as fast as you, though, am I?"
"Excuse me?"
"You're such a fucking asshole. Leave me," he glances to you, then back to his dad, "And her alone. Stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours like we usually do."
With that, Nate comes over, firmly gripping your hand, and leading you upstairs.
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Once Nate has shut the door behind the two of you, locking it, he throws his duffle bag down, then grabs a pair of boxers and sweatpants from his dresser before going into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
You seat yourself on his bed, wondering what, exactly, had been said between he and his dad to make him so upset. Unless it was the comment about him going through girls? On the one hand, it was kind of a shitty thing to say. On the other, parents sometimes give their kids a hard time. It comes with the territory.
A few moments later, Nate emerges from the bathroom, shirtless, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his hair damp and tousled.
You feel that same heat from earlier when he'd kissed you settling between your legs again. Then you tell yourself now is not the time—he's upset.
He walks over to his closet.
"Are you ok?" You ask softly.
He hands you a plain black t-shirt. "Here, you can wear this to bed after you've showered."
So he's not ready to talk about it just yet. "What about bottoms?"
He lies back on the bed, one of his arms slung over his eyes. "Nothing I have will fit you. The t-shirt is fine."
You accept that, padding into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.
When you emerge, it's in Nate's shirt, a fluffy towel wrapped around your wet hair.
He's still lying on the bed in the same position from earlier.
You rub the towel against your hair a few times, then drop it in his hamper before coming to sit with your legs crossed beside him. You're silent for a moment, trying to think of the right thing to say. Finally, you just make a simple offer.
"Do you want me to leave?"
He shakes his head, his other arm coming to rub up and down your spine. "No."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He lowers the arm from over his eyes, which are now open, staring up at the ceiling. "There's nothing to talk about. I told you: he's an asshole."
You shrug. "He's your dad. Picking on you is kind of part of his job."
"That's not why he said it. It's not why he does any of the shit that he does. It has nothing to do with him being my dad."
"Maybe he just-"
He looks at you then. "Can we just not talk about my dad while we're in bed together?"
You withdraw into yourself a little at his sudden irritation. And how he had worded it. Like you're doing something other than just talking.
"Ok, I'm sorry."
He notes that your tone now sounds slightly frightened. He sits up, leaning on his arm, his free hand coming to grip your waist. "No, I am. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just him. It's always fucking him."
"Have the two of you ever considered sitting down and just having a heart-to-heart?"
He snorts, then looks at you like that's the stupidest idea anyone has ever come up with.
"Lie down with me," he says, pulling back the covers, which you then crawl beneath.
He pulls you against him, his arm under your neck, fingertips lightly tracing the tip of your shoulder. "Thank you for being here."
"You're welcome. I'm very proud of you tonight. It sounds like your mom is too."
He bends the arm that's not holding you behind his head.
"I'm glad you stayed."
"Of course I did," you say, resting your hand over his chest. "I thought I hated sports until tonight. I had a fun time watching you."
He looks at you. "Good."
He then slips his arm out from under you, your head falling back against a pillow which smells of cologne and him. He hovers over top of you, scooting you lower before he presses a kiss to your forehead.
You panic. "Nate..."
He looks down, but you grab his chin, which he doesn't expect.
"Don't look."
His brows furrow.
"The t-shirt sort of rode up."
He bites back a smirk. So you're half-naked underneath him, then.
He lowers his body onto your own. "There, now I can't see."
You remain staring up at him.
He plants a soft kiss to your cheek. "Is this ok?"
You're quiet for a moment. Longer than he'd like. Until, finally, "I guess so."
That's all the permission he needs before he starts kissing you. He teases you with his tongue again like earlier, since you had seemed to like that so much, before he eventually moves lower, pressing hot, wet kisses to your neck.
He moves from one side, and when he gets to the other, you jerk underneath him and whimper.
So he kisses that same spot again and your breathing quickens.
His cock fills with blood, knowing he's found a sweet spot.
And so he kisses and sucks at the sensitive skin, until your hips have risen up against him, your arms around his neck and you're panting. He flicks his tongue and you moan in the back of your throat, your control slipping more and more with each kiss. He doesn't stop until he's sure you're soaked and he sees that he's left a purple bruise in his wake.
When he looks down at you, your face is flushed, your lips slightly parted, your hair a mess. It'd be so fucking easy to have his way with you right now. But it would ruin everything to do it this soon.
"Did you like that?" he asks, smoothing some hair from your face.
You nod.
He wonders just how far you'll let him go tonight, short of him breaking your hymen with his cock.
He grips your hip in one of his hands, then moves it higher, to the curve of your side, then higher, until you reach down, firmly grabbing his wrist, his hand now underneath his t-shirt that's barely even covering you now.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"I-" you shut your mouth.
In truth, all you want is to touch yourself. Or maybe let him. No. You can't do that. Not this soon. God, what are you doing? In his bed, nearly naked—nothing covering your bottom half, which is now so wet your thighs are slick from it—and wanting nothing more than to tell him to keep going.
You've never felt like this before. But you've also never had any form of intimacy with another person before.
Only ever yourself.
He gives you a look of understanding. "I don't give a shit what society expects of you. What you think you're supposed to do. I want to know what you want, right now, in this moment."
Finally, after a beat of silence, you release his wrist.
He slowly pushes up the t-shirt higher, then higher, until he can see the bottom swell of your breasts, then he pulls it over your head, tossing it on the floor.
And he just marvels at you. Your naked body lying back against his dark sheets. He still has his lower half covering your own, but knows he'll get to see every inch of you before the night is through.
He leans down, taking one of your nipples in his mouth and you throw your head back.
He grips your hips, trailing his tongue over to your other breast, now sucking on it. He looks up to you. Your eyes are now closed, head thrown back, mouth slightly parted.
He rolls a nipple between his teeth and your hips lift, which he pushes back down into the mattress.
He moves back to your other breast, doing the same, willing a whimper or a cry from your lips. Even his fucking name. Instead, you're so damn quiet. Maddy and Cassie had both been vocal—sometimes overly so. This he's not used to.
Finally, he lifts his head and your eyes pop open, wondering why he's stopped.
"Are you not enjoying it?"
Your brows furrow. "What?"
"You're not really making any noise. Are you this quiet when you touch yourself?"
You wait a moment, then nod. He just tells himself that he won't stop until he's changed that fact, then.
He dives back down, devouring your breasts again, then kissing between them, gradually moving lower and lower, until he's right below your belly button.
You suddenly sit half-up, leaning back on your forearms.
"Do you want me to stop?" He asks.
Your heart is pounding, and there's an incredibly strong pulse going between your thighs. A million thoughts race through your head. The most prominent one: is this why he'd given you attention in the first place? To make you another notch in his belt?
"This...this isn't all you wanted me for-"
"No. I want you. All of you. Being intimate with you is just one part of it. I don't plan on having sex with you tonight. When I take your virginity, I want it to be perfect. For your sake. There's just something I want to try."
He releases one of your hips, twining his fingers between yours for reassurance. While he understands your hesitancy, he wishes you'd lie the fuck back down and spread your legs for him.
Until, finally, you do.
He kisses down your stomach, then is pleased to see that you'd recently shaven your pubic area.
He makes a mental note to start setting you up appointments, which he'll be paying for, so you can get waxed regularly. At least he won't have to worry about stubble or ingrown hairs at that point.
When he's finally eye-level with your pussy, his throbbing erection grows impossibly harder. You truly are fucking perfect in every way.
He lowers his mouth onto you and, finally, you cry out at the unexpected feeling.
He quickly throws both of your legs over his shoulders, spearing his tongue, burying it in the heat between your thighs. He flicks your clit and your fingers tighten around his.
God, you're already so fucking wet. He blames it on your being a virgin—not that he doesn't absolutely fucking love it.
So he does it again. And again. He then swirls his tongue this way and that, sliding up your soaked folds—God, you taste fucking amazing—then back down again. Finally, he pulls back the least bit and he hears you whine in response as he begins to kiss your inner thighs.
At least he'll have this to use against you when the time comes: a bit of oral sex, leading you right up to the edge, and then denying you an orgasm unless you do what he wants will be a perfect weapon against you.
Finally, after wiggling your hips more than once, clearly wanting his mouth back on your pussy, he gives you what you've silently asked him for.
He kisses, licks, sucks, bites—lightly—until he focuses solely on your clit.
He hopes you scream when you fucking cum just so his dad has to hear it.
Instead, that fantasy is broken when you release his hand, pulling one of his pillows over your face as you finish against his mouth, your hips lifting, which he once again pulls back down as he continues eating you out.
He only hears your muffled cries—he can swear he hears you say his name—until you finally drop the pillow on the floor, trying to catch your breath as he presses a few kisses to your now-pulsating pussy.
He rests his chin against your pubic area, watching as you slowly begin to calm, your legs still over his shoulders.
"How was that?"
You feel dazed, your legs like jelly, even a bit sweaty. "Good."
He raises a brow. "Just good?"
You tangle your fingers in your hair, the pulse of your pussy just now beginning to calm. "Really, really good."
"You liked it that much, huh?"
You nod.
"How much?"
You sit up, your muscles now feeling weak. "I loved it, Nate. T-thank you."
He studies you for a moment, considering. "Do you want me to do it again?"
"Really?"
He notes just how eager and excited you sound. Almost desperate for it—for him.
And in that moment, he knows he finally has you exactly where he fucking wants you.
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dragonsongmakhali · 14 hours
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<<...then let me be evil.>>
[[You never wanted to hurt anyone, but the world never gave you a choice. You did the best you could with what you had, but every innocent mistake you made was held against you when it counted, every crossroads led you down the wrong path no matter which way you went. No matter what you did, the odds were stacked against you. It wasn't fair, and you are sick and tired of being told what a monster you are for things out of your control. Well, fine. They want a monster? YOU'LL GIVE THEM A MONSTER!]]
Poor Makhali. I could definitely see her snapping if she lost too many friends. She's very high spirited, but that can only last for so long - too many hits, and even she will just go '...fuck it.'
tagged by @iron-sparrow - I had an inordinate amount of fun designing evil!Makhali, thanks for the tag! I've included a full-body shot of the outfit, because it's my new obsession.
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tagging: I'm so deeply far behind the tl that I'm not sure who's gotten their hands on this one yet, so I'm going to go with the Silliest Option - go through my activity feed, and scoop up a bunch of names in a bug net with reckless abandon. If you've done it for all the characters you could possibly want to, Makhali owes you buuz instead.
@vasheden @cassieoctavia @shadesofblades @pumpkinmagekupo @but-first--tea
@hazelkjt @arcanecircles @ubejamjar @jump-n-dive @chadhunkler
[What type of villain are you?] quiz link >>here!<<
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cubestrahm · 3 days
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»{ Mark Hoffman x Peter Strahm }« ✦ { ao3 }
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«- previous chapter / next chapter -»
✦ Summary: This moment in time feels inevitable. It is as though Peter was always meant to wind up in the crushing dark with Mark Hoffman, tangled in a deadly situation that neither man can escape from unscathed. ✦ Rating: 18+ for explicit mature content. ✦ Content/tags: Background Angelina Acomb/Lindsey Perez, Alternate Universe - Diners, Slow Burn, Canonical Character Death, Canon Typical Gore, Detailed Descriptions of Wounds, Improper Wound Care, Non-Sexual Nudity, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Feeding Kink, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Divorced Peter Strahm, Murder, Masturbation, John Kramer is still jigging his saw ✦ Word count: 9,815 ✦ Status: Multi-chapter / Ongoing ✦ Author's note: Lindsey and Peter's friendship is so special... to me.
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The sun is already beginning to dip below the horizon by the time Strahm parks his car in the parking lot forming a moat around the modest apartment building. Winter hours make the daylight run out like the seconds on a timer. The retired agent doesn’t mind. He’s never belonged in the light, even if he’d once believed he did.
Feeling his back protest, Peter unfolds himself from the seat of the Crown Vic. Once on his feet, he stabilizes himself with a hand on the roof before leaning down inside just far enough to snag a Tupperware container and his overnight bag off of the passenger seat. The plastic box is still warm to the touch. It’s a sharp contrast to the wind trying to gnaw through the leather of his jacket. The temperature is enough to get him to put a rush on his movements. With hurried motions, he slams the vehicle’s door and all but jogs up the steps to Lindsey’s unit.
When he knocks, it’s with a too hard rap of his knuckles against the wood. His days with the FBI make him feel like a haunted house at times. Ghosts of drug busts and serial murder cases roam the halls of his mind. How many doors had he and his partners kicked in over the years when they were too impatient or too cocksure to wait for the SWAT team? His hand keeps the memories even if his own mind lets go.
“Hello, good sir,” Lindsey greets, whipping the door open, “Pray tell. What’s the password for the keep?”
“It’s ‘I didn’t sign up for dinner at Medieval Times. I’m old and I’m tired’,” Peter grumbles, trying to sidestep her.
He really is tired. Despite Strahm’s best efforts, Detective Hoffman has set up residence in his thoughts and it’s been doing a number on his ability to sleep. Unsatisfied with his sour mood, Perez blocks his foot with hers in a squeak of bare toes against his boot. He recoils.
“Put some socks on,” he says, aghast.
“I already gave you a hint,” she prompts. She’s not letting him in until he guesses what movie she is alluding to. Like him, she doesn’t let go when her jaw is locked.
Not bothering to hide his sigh, he shifts the Tupperware container from one arm to the other. He’d made mozzarella and tomato sauce filled mini croissants tonight. His partner had been moaning about wanting homemade pizza all weekend, so he had decided to do the next best thing. Peter is almost regretting his act of care. Still, he wracks his brain trying to remember what they had watched last Monday.
Her wording being the hint… Oh, it was the one that’d had some blond jackass in tights. Lindsey had socked him in the arm for laughing before breaking down as well.
“Robin Hood,” he answers.
“Robin Hood, what?”
“Robin Hood… in tights?” he tries.
Her smile nearly blinds him. “Good enough, buddy. You’re not senile yet.”
“Every day, I pray for the oblivion of memory loss,” he says dryly as his partner lets him through.
Even facing her back, Strahm can tell that she rolls her eyes at him. He trails after Lindsey to the kitchenette only for her to shove two glasses and a jaw-droppingly large bottle of Cosmopolitan at him. It’s chock-full of edible glitter that shimmers in the pink depths. It’s disgustingly cheery and liable to get them absolutely plastered. Lindsey means business on sleepover nights and that doesn’t include his usual proclivity for what she says is “sad old man alcohol”.
He wouldn’t expect anything else from the woman who got him so drunk one night, he willingly participated in gluing rhinestones to their work phones. Peter had woken up hungover and aching on her couch only to get his ass chewed back at the Bureau for tampering with federally provided property and allowing his subordinate to do the same.
Lindsey, of course, had doubled down after getting reprimanded. She had gotten them both phone charms of a mouthless white cat wearing a bow out of a coin machine–with quarters he’d begrudgingly fished out of his own pocket because he has never wanted to deny her anything.
It had made him smile, to take out the device out back in those days. Looking at the phone had provided him with an unusual sort of comfort, especially during his second divorce. He would turn it over and over in his hand, letting the sharp edges of some of those cheap, plastic gems scrape against his palm. He’s sure that Lindsey doesn’t know just how many times she has saved his life over the years. Not with gunfire or violence, but with her presence alone. Knowing that she was there and had his back was enough to keep him placing one foot in front of the other.
When they had left the FBI together, he’d kept the cat charm after he had turned in his work phone. It’s tucked away in the part of his dresser that holds the ties that he still hasn’t gotten rid of. Perez had also kept her charm. He’s seen it nestled in alongside her earrings and other jewelry.
He’s been quiet for too long, lost in thought. Lindsey notices and shoos him out of the kitchen. “I’ll be there in a second. Go settle in.”
Peter cooperates and makes his way to her bedroom door. It’s the only one left ajar. Her roommate's is shut tight.
Once in the small room, he sets down his cargo beside the TV resting on the dresser. Peter eases the strap of his bag off his shoulder and lets it land with a soft thump on the carpeted floor. Bending down, he unlaces his boots before setting them alongside Lindsey’s shoe rack by her door. He keeps his socks on but shrugs off his leather jacket and hangs it up on the only free peg on the wall-mounted rack. Lindsey keeps it open for him.
In his own rental home, he has several spaces that he leaves empty for her in return. She stocks his preferred brand of toothpaste and he keeps a bottle of the hair oil she uses every Monday. They alternate movie night locations. Their lives are intertwined. He wouldn't have it any other way.
Strahm picks the remote up off of the made bedspread and turns on the TV before dropping it back onto the mattress. The CRT screen flares to live. He’s pre-gaming whatever movie Lindsey picks from her and her roommate’s shared collection in the living room with the news. He’s a simple man. On his nights, he just takes his Vic down to the video rental place and grabs an unvetted stack of DVDs. It’s one of the few things in his life he doesn’t overthink.
Unsurprisingly, every news station is reporting on the rash of murders committed by a serial killer the press has taken to calling “Jigsaw” on account of the puzzle piece shaped chunks of skin that the perpetrator has been carving out of the victim’s bodies. In missives relayed by survivors, this Jigsaw is claiming that they’re not a killer at all, merely a game maker seeking to provide enlightenment to the ungrateful.
In Strahm’s opinion, it’s all a crock of bullshit. People dying as a direct result of your actions makes you complicit in their deaths.
Eyes still on the screen, Peter pours himself a drink. The glass quickly fills up with the shimmering liquid. It sparkles in the changing light from the TV, picking up the colors being broadcast. It’s refreshingly cool in his calloused hand.
He moves away from the TV to take a seat on the bed, leaning back against the mountain of throw pillows Lindsey has decided to pile against the headboard. There’s part of him that thinks it might be a long con trap devised in the hope that he smothers in his sleep.
From what the current news station is claiming, the police department and their FBI liaison have allowed more information to leak to the general public. He is sure that it must be rankling at Special Agent Kerry—she had never been one to be open about case information when he had worked with her in the past.
With a series of jarring crime scene photos, the news anchor walks the viewers through one of the traps that had been used in a recent game. Like the majority of the others, it, too, had taken place in a desolate warehouse. To Strahm’s eyes, it is all a fucked up piece of work. The killer had used some kind of iron maiden style headgear that had snapped closed like a Venus flytrap. They’re calling it the death mask. The footage is a pixelated smear of black and red. He can hear the buzzing of flies through the screen, can almost smell the rot and the dry dust of the warehouse.
Flashes of the same trap in bluepoint pen on a flimsy napkin—the cheapest they could get, really—hammer at his brain. He sees Mark’s hand, the way he had hidden the napkin from view the minute he realized Strahm was playing the role of the voyeur.
“Oh shit,” Peter says, too loud. With his revelation, he nearly lets the glass slip out of his hand to go tumbling across the bed. He rests it on his jean-clad knee with a vice grip.
Lindsey stops in the doorway of her bedroom, pausing at his outburst. She’s holding a massive bowl of popcorn in her hands. It’s something she contributes every Monday night because it’s a heart attack in a bowl, laden down as it is with pretzels, m&m’s, peanuts, and a generous caramel drizzle. Sometimes Strahm thinks he could go out peacefully this way—in his sleep after several too-full glasses of alcohol and a sickening amount of Lindsey’s popcorn concoction, movie still playing in the background and illuminating the two friends.
“Pete?” she asks, concern coloring her voice.
“Saturday. You were out. He was drawing...” He points at the TV with the hand still holding onto the glass.
His partner comes around to look at the screen. Her face tightens once she realizes what he’s referring to. “Your detective?”
The weight of what she knows Peter is suggesting is suffocating. She snatches up the Tupperware container and slaps it and the bowl in the middle of the bed before picking up the remote.
“Don’t. Just talk to him next time he comes in.”
“Lindsey—”
“Peter,” she interrupts, changing the channel to the DVD player input.
The retired FBI agent takes a breath. Lindsey is right. He doesn’t want her to be. He wants to turn this over in his mind until he’s sick with possibilities. It’s not his case. It’s no longer his job to put a name to the monsters crawling the streets. He’ll be crushed under the weight of it all if he doesn’t listen to his partner.
He slings back a mouthful of Cosmo. He savors the slight burn of the vodka as it goes down and forces himself to file everything away in order to focus on the moment. Peter makes himself pay attention as Lindsey opens a DVD case and shoves the disk into the player.
“What are we watching?” he asks as if this is normal night and his habits are not battering down the front door.
“Some romance movie that Melanie swears is the most thing heartbreaking in the world,” she answers.
Pouring a glass of Cosmo for herself, she fast forwards thought the pre-menu trailers. With the remote and her drink in hand, she makes her way back to the bed. She settles onto it beside him. The popcorn bowl and Tupperware serve as a divider between them.
“I feel like her metric for that is skewed.”
Lindsey jabs him in the side with her finger, causing him to grunt. “Don’t be rude.”
“Linds, she started crying because I didn’t want to go on a date with her.”
“Well,” she fiddles with the remote and selects PLAY on the menu. “You did… disappoint her by acting like she’d shot you when she asked what your star sign is. She just wanted to know if you were ‘compatible’.”
“Maybe she should meet with my ex-wives, reminisce a little in a support group. I’m chronically incompatible and great at disappointing women,” he says, chasing his words with another swallow of his beverage.
“It should be on your resume. It’s a skill,” she agrees.
They settle in to watch the movie in a comfortable silence that doesn’t last for long.
“Oh, what the fuck—” Strahm starts.
“Maybe you were right—” Perez also speaks.
Lindsey makes a frustrated noise and downs the rest of her drink. She sets the glass on her nightstand with a clatter.
“If some guy climbed a Ferris wheel and tried to coerce me into a date by threatening to hurt himself and then wouldn’t take the damn hint when I said no again, I’d be filing a restraining order.”
“For sure,” he agrees and, with a groan at the sight of the soon-to-be couple laying in the street, adds, “Oh, fuck off.”
Much to their dismay, the movie doesn’t improve. Both Lindsey and Peter have to stand up more than once throughout it to refill their glasses. By the time the film is over, the diner owners are thoroughly sauced. As soon as the credits roll, Strahm stumbles to the bathroom to change into the sleep clothes he’d brought with him. The sweatpants are riddled with holes and marked with old paint stains from when they’d painted the diner together. He leaves the clip pinning up what Lindsey calls his "mid-life crisis mullet" on the counter.
Before reentering Lindsey’s bedroom, he knocks on the doorframe and waits for her “Yeah!”. Stepping back in, he finds that Lindsey has also swapped her clothing. She’s also perched on his side of the bed with a mozzarella roll crammed into her mouth. She’s put another movie in. The Tupperware container is resting on her lap. She has the remote in one hand and a bottle of hair oil in the other.
Already knowing what she wants, he takes the bottle from her and takes a seat behind her. He’s careful to leave enough space so that they don’t touch. She’s already brushed her hair and it lays in thick curls down her back.
“Here,” she says, offering him a roll over his shoulder. He leans forward and carefully snags it with his teeth.
He’s mid-chew and just spreading the oil on his fingers to apply to her scalp when she speaks again. “So, are you going to pull some Ferris wheel shit for Mark?”
He swallows hastily, too soon, tries not to choke. “What?”
“I’m not blind. You’ve got more chemistry with him than I’ve seen you have with anyone.”
He slips his fingers into the roots of her hair, starts working in careful circles. “Yeah, if that chemistry was dislike.”
“Sure. You keep telling yourself that.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
Peter rolls into the parking lot first, closely tailed by Lindsey’s yellow eyesore of a ‘02 Ford Ranger. As they park, he notices a pair of figures standing in front of the diner. Having seen at least one of them every single day for the past few weeks, he immediately recognizes them. It’s Mark and his sister.
“Fuck,” he curses under his breath as he gets out of his car and meets Lindsey. Together, they approach the front door. Strahm’s already got the correct key primed. The realization of last night hasn’t left him, even if he is suffering from enough of a hangover to have necessitated Perez kicking at him to get his ass out of bed. He wouldn’t be surprised if he has a bruise.
He is a twice divorced man approaching middle age having what essentially boils down to slumber parties with his only friend. His time with Lindsey is the highlight of his weeks. It’s enough to be considered embarrassing without having a crisis because the man he thinks has been flirting with him might very well be one of the most notorious serial killers of their time. Peter knows that he’s a fucking joke.
As they get closer, Strahm realizes that the detective looks dead on his feet. The man is wearing a police slicker instead of his usual suit jacket. He’s wavering slightly, like a ship at sea despite leaning heavily against the side of the building. In contrast, Angelina looks chipper—radiant even.
“Good morning!” the woman shouts as soon as they get within earshot. Mark sways away from his sister as though her voice had physically hurt him.
“Morning!” Perez calls back, a sudden eagerness to her pace.
It surprises him. Lindsey is usually much more reserved. She’s chosen to be saddled with him for almost a decade. They don’t open for another half-hour, but he already knows that she is going to snuff out any suggestion from him that they leave these two on the stoop.
In another surprise, the two women meet in a hug. Peter skirts around them to unlock the door. At his side, too close for comfort, Mark rallies himself enough to engage in harassment.
“Where’s my hug and kiss, Peter?”
Barely resisting the urge to flip the detective off, he lets himself through the door first. He nearly clips Hoffman with the edge of it as the other man follows on his heels. Peter doesn’t want to think about what it might feel like to be that close to him, to feel the yielding bulk of his body in the circle of his arms.
He’s nice enough to pull the chairs off the top of Angie and Mark’s usual table before taking his jacket off and joining Lindsey as they go through the motions of getting the diner ready to open. The detective takes his seat wearily, arms on the table and forehead resting against them. His sister gives him a pat on the shoulder on the way to her own chair.
A few minutes before he needs to flip the sign, Strahm is back at at their table. His sleeves are rolled up and he’s slightly too warm from prepping the cook-top. He doesn’t bother to pull the notepad from his belt. They’re past menus and order sheets now.
“What do you want to eat?”
“Two orders of those pancakes with the faces, please. Oh, and some hashbrowns.” Angie says, glee lighting up her voice. She beckons Peter closer and shields her mouth from her brother. He obligingly leans down for her to speak into his ear.
“Can you make Mark’s look like him?” she whispers conspiratorially. He can’t help but return her shit-eating grin with a smile of his own.
“Sure thing.”
The man in question doesn’t even lift his head off the table as Strahm heads to the kitchen. He thinks that he might genuinely have dozed off.
Lindsey leaves him to it while he puts together the pair’s meals. Angie’s comes together easily. He does hers up to make a beamingly happy face. He remembers that she prefers bananas to blueberries and if she doesn’t have Linds’s house-made caramel sauce on it, she’ll look up to either of them for “just a drizzle, please”. Peter has unintentionally found himself filing away information about the brother and sibling like he does with Perez.
It’s only to avoid complaints, he tells himself. It’s a lie. What a disquieting thing it is to realize that he cares.
For Mark’s pancake, the crowning achievement is the lips. They’re made up of a thick sausage link cut in half and carefully arranged to form a pouting upper and lower lip. They glisten in the overhead light. He usually does bacon for the mouths, but it would not have done justice to Angelina’s request. Here at the diner, he’s all about customer satisfaction. Peter is just doing his job.
Lindsey sneaks at peak at the plates when he carries them out. She has to suppress a laugh. “Oh no.”
“It looks like him?”
“Definitely.”
He finds that Lindsey has already gotten them their beverages. Angie is sucking on the straw planted in her orange juice while Mark is staring into his barely touched coffee like it’s a crystal ball. He doesn’t look any more awake than he did on the doorstep.
Peter puts down Angie’s plate first. She gives it an approving nod before looking up at him, excitement barely contained. He sets the other plate down in front of Mark. The sausage lips jiggle a little upon impact and the detective’s sister is not disappointed. She only just manages to keep a straight face.
Mark looks back at the blueberry eyes beadily staring up at him from their whipped cream eye whites and turns to Peter with questioning expression on his face. Peter has a serious set to his mouth, the same distant appearance he used to wear during interrogations. He gives nothing away. Mark then faces Angie. She buries herself in her own pancake, refusing to make eye contact lest she break.
The seated man sighs, giving in. “I don’t have a yellow tie,” he says picking up a fork and gesturing at the egg that Strahm had fried and cut into the shape of the neck wear.
“Maybe you can get one at the clown convention next time it’s in town.” There’s no bite to Peter’s voice.
“Hmm,”Mark rumbles thoughtfully, almost fond, “maybe you can fuck off.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
Peter is in the back, prepping a tray of roast for tomorrow. It will sit, covered, in the cooler overnight to marinate. He will cook it up mid-morning to be ready in time for their lunch special.
Having already encouraged Lindsey out of the door, he is alone in the diner with only the radio for company. She had done the bank run and had picked up some bottles of honey at the store. Their supplier had missed it in the shipment, leaving them bereft. Strahm felt like the extra work deserved an early night. Neither of the retired agents addressed that it was only an excuse for him to be alone. He has found himself needing solitude more as of late. There have been too many foreign feelings gnawing at his intestines like a parasite.
He flips over another chunk of meat in the bowl. He can’t help but wonder when Angelina and Mark became such an integral part of his life. Every morning, he finds himself looking forward to the moment the siblings walk through the door. Self-loathing sinks into his lungs as the raw meat held in his hands reminds him of the Jigsaw killer. Remembering his partner’s words, he shoves it aside and lets the idea of finding someone to focus on wash over him—someone who might not be up to their elbows in torture traps. Maybe it would be best if he try picking someone up at one of the clubs Lindsey occasionally drags him to instead of behaving like a guard dog and glowering over her shoulder at any men who don’t get the hint that it’s a gay-oriented bar and she’s not there to talk to guys looking for female action.
Surely, he could find someone there. Peter could make it work. He could smooth out the sharp, unlovable edges of himself to find a form of happiness. There’s an image materializing in his mind of the kind of man he would like to share a life with. Thick fingered hands, garishly patterned ties nestled between oversized pecs, full lips with a perpetual smug lift of the corners… Fuck, he thinks to himself, he’s just thinking of—
The doorbell clatters. It’s explosive in the calm, aggressive, and Strahm gets a hint of something he’s not encountered much in the time since he’s left the FBI.
He strips his gloves off and tosses them into the fifty-five gallon trash can. His hackles are already up. On the way through the swinging door separating the kitchen from the rest of the diner, he shoves his right hand into his pants pocket to mask the itch he has for a gun he had carried on his hip for over a decade.
“Can I help you?” he calls across the expanse separating him and the stranger.
A young man stares back at him with wild eyes ringed with anger before donning the mask of someone calmer. “Hi, yes, I’m just looking for my girlfriend.”
“That so?”
His smile has an ugly twist to it, a crack in the facade. He steps closer. “Angelina? Long dark hair, about this tall...” He holds a hand a few inches below his chin. “Probably with her brother all the time?”
Distrust whispers in his ear, prompting Peter to shrug. The gesture is accompanied by a wide swing of his arms. This man reeks of a disgruntled ex looking to get even. Strahm would be willing to put his share of the diner on him being the reason why Angie seems to look over her shoulder and shrink into herself when Mark isn’t at her side. Peter isn’t going to give him a damn thing.
“Look, man, I just need to have a talk with her.” His hands are lodged in the pockets of his jacket. Peter can see him faintly tracing something. It’s not a gun, probably a knife. “She’s not doing well, has some crazy ideas swirling around in that head of hers.”
“Can’t help you,” he says, curt. There’s a part of him that relishes a fight, wants the other man to draw the knife from his pocket and give Peter something to sink his teeth into. It’s been so long.
“You don’t have to be such a bitch, man.” The stranger is scowling, looking almost like he might give Strahm the release he’s craving.
The words prompt a sigh and the raising of his eyebrows. “Get out.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Now.”
A smile of his own, more of a snarl graces the diner owner’s mouth. “Does it look like she’s here?” He gestures to the empty room, arms wide. “Get a hint.”
“I said—,” he starts.
“And I said to fuck off,” Peter interrupts. He takes a step forward, then another until he’s in the middle of the room. The man retreats, looking nervous. The cowardice makes Strahm even more irritated.
“Can you just tell her that I came looking? I’m the one that gets to decide when it’s over. Not her. She needs to remember…“ The stranger trails off. Back against the door now.
Peter puts his hand on the back of one of the chairs. He lifts it off the ground enough to get the point across that he will throw it. The feet scrape on the wood floor. It wouldn’t be the first time in his life he’s gotten pissed off enough to hurtle one.
The man puts his hands up, immediately showing his belly like a submissive dog. “My bad, man, my bad, have yourself a good night.”
He fumbles for the door and slips out. Peter lets go of the chair and stands in the silence. Headlights cut across the front of the diner as the stranger peels out of the parking lot. Strahm rubs his hands over his face and goes to lock the door and close the blinds. He swallows down the arid tang of disappointment.
───※ ·❆· ※───
“One of your sister’s associates came looking for her last night,” Peter says to Mark as he refills the detective’s coffee.
Angelina is seated at the counter for the time being while Lindsey plies her with flavored lemonade samples to test. Already, she’s working on the Spring menu. Mark has a spread of papers on the table that his sister had abandoned at. It looks like case reports for the Jigsaw situation, not that Strahm can scrutinize them too much under Mark’s careful gaze.
Mark’s full lips turn down in a frown. He looks troubled and when he speaks, his words don’t form a question. “Seth Baxter.”
“Yeah?”
“Angie broke up with him almost a year ago. Turns out he was a neo-nazi and all around piece of shit.”
“Wonderful.” He can’t say he’s surprised.
“He’s never taken no as answer. She hasn’t admitted to him doing anything to her but the guy is a problem. She’d had me there when she broke the news to him.”
“Did he act out then?”
“Nothing I could book him for.”
Peter nods, silent. He doesn’t blame Mark for entertaining that possibility. Encountering Baxter had felt like coming into contact with an oil slick. There was a residue left behind that just wouldn’t wash out with soap.
He leaves the detective alone to refill the next table’s mugs. Strahm still hasn’t broached the topic of Jigsaw to Mark. He hasn’t brought it up again to Lindsey either because he knows what she will say. Peter has found himself unable to muster up the will to confront the broad man in the fear that he might be right. In the daylight hours, it seems a ridiculous notion. Peter knows it’s possible. Time and time again, he’s seen the worst people put on the right masks to become loving family members, respectable members of their communities: the kind of people that would give the shirt off their own backs for a stranger.
Even the worst dregs of humanity have human moments. It’s what makes them so dangerous. It used to be his job to chisel away at the masks—to pull the shell off the snail and leave its innards manged and exposed to the naked eye. It’s not his duty anymore. He runs a diner with his best and only friend. He need to leave it alone. He’s no longer Special Agent Peter Strahm. That man lost his head, took on too much water and drowned.
Peter wants to believe that a better person left the building after turning in his badge. He knows one didn’t. There’s still something twisted and barely lying dormant inside of him, nestled between the cathedral of his ribs. It takes one monster to catch another.
───※ ·❆· ※───
The overhead bell clatters against the glass not even half an hour before closing. Strahm has already seen Perez out of the door. She had left early for a date that she’s shyly mentioned to him a couple of times over the course of the week. He knows it must be serious because she’s been tight-lipped and anxiously bursting at the seams. Peter will be staying up late, as he does every night, phone close at hand until she texts to let him know she’s made it back to her apartment.
“We’re closed,” he says.
Creaking footsteps cross the diner with no response from the intruder, and, finally, Peter looks up from the glasses he’s stocking below the counter. Irritation prickles at his skin. He’s half expecting to see Seth Baxter waiting for him when he stands up.
It’s Mark. The detective has dressed down for the late hour. It’s strange to see him without his blazer or his tie. Distractedly, the sleeves of the man’s dress shirt are rolled up to expose his large forearms. Strahm makes sure to look somewhere near Mark’s hairline.
“It’s you.”
“In the flesh, Peter,” the detective responds, smile across his lips.
“I’m curious as to why you’re here. Again.”
He watches as Mark settles himself onto a stool. The broad man rests his arms on the counter and leans over to encroach into Peter’s space. The retired FBI agent feels a little lightheaded when he realizes the position is only serving to highlight Mark’s chest through the open shirt collar. There’s honest to God cleavage. Ripping his traitorous eyes away from the scar snaking between Hoffman’s breasts, he meets his gaze and realizes that the detective looks tired.
“Angie had a date tonight, left me high and dry so I thought I’d come see you. Where’s Lindsey?”
“Out.” He kneels and lines the last few glasses up on the shelf and out of the drying crate. “Kitchen’s cold. I’m not turning the grill back on for you.”
“I’m sure you can figure something out for me, Pete. I’m hungry enough that I’ll eat anything you make me. You know how easy I can be.”
“Too easy,” he mutters. Mark just laughs, having heard him. “Fine, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
“Thank you, honey. You’re so good to me.”
A sigh and then he’s picking up the dish rack to take it back to the kitchen instead of throwing it at the seated man. Once in the back, he slots it in the nook beside the three-chamber sink before opening the door to vertical warmer and pulling out the two pans that have been resting on the racks. He shuts the machine off. It will be turned on again in the morning.
Largely using ingredients he’d be throwing out tonight anyway, he makes himself a sandwich with pot roast. He makes a second one for Mark. Both of them are plated with a side of macaroni destined for either his fridge at home or the trash can. The detective’s presence at the counter saves Strahm from having the hassle of taking home the leftovers.
Finished, he carries both plates out to the dining room. He bypasses the counter entirely to set the plates down on opposite ends of a small table. Before he sits down, he checks his watch. It’s a few minutes after closing time. He crosses the room to lock the door and flip the sign to closed. He draws the blinds on his way back to the table.
Hoffman is still. The weight of his eyes feels like a hand on the back of Strahm’s neck. It’s making his skin crawl. All too aware of the other man, he pulls out a chair with a screech of wood on wood and takes a seat facing the main room, back to the wall. He doesn’t verbally invite Mark, but he hears the shift of fabric and the sound of footsteps and then he is joined at the table.
“Didn’t feel like the stool?”
“No, don’t like having my back to the place.”
There’s a small grunt from the detective. “Were you a lawman?”
“FBI,” he says. Maybe Mark isn’t as stupid as he looks.
“Mmm, that would explain it. Were you good at your job, Special Agent?”
“Good enough.” For once, he doesn’t rise for the bait.
Peter toys with the fork in his hand, eyes on the man seated across from him. He watches closely, perhaps too closely as Mark slides his thick fingers under the sandwich and lifts it, cradled almost, to his mouth for a bite. Juice immediately spills free, running over Mark’s lips and liberally coating them in a filthy shine. He reaches for a napkin, but Peter’s hand is there first. Hoffman’s fingers skate over the back of his hand, thwarted. Peter receives a hard, considering look. There’s a dark gleam in the blue depths.
In an a long moment that reminds him of the morning the two of them had met, neither of them break their eye contact as Mark exaggeratedly licks his lips. Peter digs his fingers of his free hand into the meat of his thigh, hanging on for any glimmer of control while the other man sucks his own bottom lip into his mouth and releases it with a wet pop. He’s headspinningly hard in that instant, throbbing in his pants. He nearly curls over as if weathering a blow. Very nearly, he almost takes his hand off the napkin dispenser to press his palm against his crotch to relieve the pressure. Instead, he clamps down on the object harder, knuckles going white in the dim light.
With his dignity dangling on a thin line, he’s relieved that the table blocks Mark’s view. He’s struggling to stay in his seat. He wants to do something rash, destructive, transformative. His instincts are scrambled.
His own plate remains untouched as Mark takes another bite. The chewing is accompanied by a pleased hum, almost a lewd moan to Strahm’s ears.
“How… how does it taste?” He feels winded, out of breath.
Mark stops with the sandwich to his lips. He lowers it without taking another bite after swallowing. “Are you some kind of pervert?” he asks, seeming genuinely curious.
Strahm feels the last of his blood drain from his face.
“You’re one to talk,” he snaps. His tone does little else but highlight how defensive he’s feeling. Mark’s eyebrows raise. He’s got that smug look to him that makes Peter want to grab him by his shirt and smear his face against the floor until it worn down to the bone.
“Am I?” Mark is smiling now. “How do you figure?”
“You parade around looking like” he gestures in a broad sweep of his hand at the detective, “that.”
“Like what?”
“You know.”
“I don’t think I do.” He has to be being purposely obtuse. Strahm doesn’t appreciate it.
The blood is starting to rise back up, he can feel himself starting to flush as he responds, “Like you’re begging for a scrap of attention. Like you’re just a whore with a gaping mouth waiting for someone to come along and fill it for you.”
Despite the crudeness of his words, Mark doesn’t look offended. He sets the sandwich down on his plate. With his fingers damp with the meat’s juices, he nudges Strahm’s hand out of the way to finally claim a napkin to wipe the mess away from his digits. Fingers clean, the other man pushes his plate across to him. It bumps against his with the sharp sound of ceramic against ceramic. He stands up, and for a critical moment, Peter thinks he’s made an error and the other man is going to deck him where he sits.
Violence doesn’t come. Peter is left shaken when Mark comes around to his side of the table and kneels, knees to the floor. The detective’s polished shoes squeak against the wood. He can see the way the bulk of Mark’s thighs strain against the confinement of his slacks.
“What…?” It comes out as a gasp. His lungs feel too compressed to draw in any air.
As a response, Mark shifts closer. Under encouragement from the detective's hands, Peter turns, letting the man rest his bulk between his spread knees. Hoffman’s eyes skate over his erection. The only acknowledgment he gives it is an impossibly more satisfied look as he meets Strahm’s gaze steadily.
“You said I wanted a full mouth, Peter. So fill it.” he says with a nod to the table.
Unable to look away, he watches Mark part his lips and wait. The detective’s mouth gleams wetly, salivating for what Peter is going to give him. He can see the moisture pooling in the space underneath his tongue, threatening to overflow the corners of his lips even as Peter’s own mouth goes devastatingly dry.
The retired FBI agent gropes blindly for Mark’s plate. He ends up offering the kneeling man a handful of macaroni and cheese. He is forced to put it into Mark’s mouth when he doesn’t reach for it with his own hands. The pads of Peter’s fingers brush over Mark’s tongue.
Pulse pounding, he gathers up another mouthful’s worth. He brings it to the other man’s mouth, pushes it inside and past those plump lips when, again, he doesn’t take it directly. Mark’s jaw is slack. He’s completely pliant, welcoming the intrusion of Strahm’s fingers. He chews and swallows when Peter withdraws.
He feeds him mouthful after mouthful. He takes from his own plate when he runs out of noodles on Mark’s. Slipping the last of it into Hoffman’s mouth, he looks at the mess he’s made. He gathers the smear of sauce and cheese off the detective’s bottom lip and feeds him that too. That simple motion brings curiosity with it. He slides his fingers into Mark’s mouth, so deep that the knuckles of his ring finger and pinky collide with the other man’s chin.
Mark swallows around them. The sudden, clenching heat makes him groan. His dick twitches in his jeans. Mark’s pupils are blown, and Peter doesn’t miss the way the other man’s hand clenches on his wide thigh at hearing the noise that Peter had let slip from his throat.
Again, he swallows around Peter’s fingers. This time, the action is accompanied by his teeth just lightly biting down on the digits encased between his lips, just testing the skin. There’s a pinch and he’s biting harder, properly digging his teeth in.
Peter’s free hand, the one adorned with a reminder of his failed marriages, shoots out. He presses it against Mark’s right cheek. The skin is smooth and unmarred underneath his palm. He doesn’t push Mark away. Strahm doesn’t want to stop him, not really. There’s a part of him not so far under the surface that wants the detective to sever the fingers between his teeth, to consume of Peter himself just has he had of the meal he had prepared for him.
Mark lets up and allows Peter to ease his fingers out just enough to thrust them back in. Strahm is panting, a ragged sound in the quiet of the diner. With each thrust of his fingers into the detective’s mouth, he imagines that it is his cock instead that’s rubbing back and forth over Mark’s eager tongue. His fingertips collide with the other man’s hard palate over and over again. He loses himself in the motion enough that Mark’s hand being placed on his thigh jolts him back into the moment.
The detective is drooling freely around his fingers. His chin is wet with his own saliva. It strings and drips, soaking the front of his shirt. The silk material is marked with darker patches, almost as if Strahm had placed his own mouth against the fabric and sucked at Mark’s chest and stomach through it. He looks debauched this way, used. His lips are swollen and pink.
As he observes Mark like a case file, he can’t help but notice that the other man’s slacks are straining over more than just his thighs. Peter can see the clear outline of his dick. He can almost swear the black fabric is somehow darker near the head of it. Mark is wet.
Wet for me, he thinks, nonsensical. He sinks his teeth into the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood to keep the moan from escaping his mouth.
Extracting his fingers, he grips the edge of the table as Mark’s other hand hooks under Peter’s thigh. He spreads his legs wider to give the other man more access. Mark shuffles closer. He pulls Peter’s leg over his shoulder, spreading him open until he feels too vulnerable, too exposed.
His hands go to Strahm’s belt buckle, Peter tangles his hand in Mark’s hair, dampening the man’s locks with his own saliva. With as much protest as Peter himself had given, the leather of his belt easily slips free of the buckle. Hoffman’s fingers skate over the front of his jeans, seeking to undo the fastenings.
Even though the denim, Strahm can feel the heat of the detective’s breath on his dick. His cock twitches, almost as if it’s trying to get to the other man’s mouth. He feels both steadied and thrown off balance by the hand that Mark puts on his waist. He can barely think over the sound of his heart hammering in his ears. The drum beat of it drowns out the anxiety over being touched in such an intimate way. This man is going to be the death of him. He’s never been so hard in his fucking life.
A phone rings. Loud.
Face suddenly grim, Mark draws back. Peter’s hand slips free of the detective’s hair and he sags back in his chair. He busies himself with remembering how to breathe while Hoffman pulls his phone out from the pocket of his slacks. He flips it open and presses the button to accept the call.
“Detective Hoffman speaking.” His voice has a rough edge to it—the only indication that Strahm had been all but fucking his mouth with his fingers.
Choosing to look anywhere else but at Mark, his eyes resolutely lock onto the shelves behind the counter. He feels the shorter man slide his leg off his shoulder. It’s unsettlingly tender, the way Hoffman eases Strahm’s foot to the floor.
“Yeah… alright.” Peter can’t make out the voice on the other end of the line. “I’ll be there. Don’t mess with any unsecured doors this time, yeah?”
Peter hears the snap of the device being closed and glances at Hoffman. The man gets to his feet with a wince but with more spryness than Strahm himself would have been capable of under normal circumstances.
“Duty calls,” he says, slipping the phone back into his pocket and withdrawing his wallet.
Alarmed, he reaches out and stops him. “Don’t. The food was on the house.”
Mark gives him a look that Peter can’t quite read before closing his billfold and tucking it away. Hoffman’s erection is rapidly flagging. Whatever situation he was called about must be one hell of a mood killer. Meanwhile, Strahm can’t summon any of the blood back to his brain.
He nearly chokes on nothing when Mark’s fingers cup his cheek and he draws a thumb down over the scar mimicking an age line. He has to close his eyes.
“Goodnight, Pete.” The roughness that Strahm put there drags the nickname out into something obscene.
“’Night.” The retired agent manages.
And with that, Mark takes those characteristically stiff strides to the door, unlocks it, and slips through it. The bell jangles in his wake. He leaves Strahm alone and close to shivering in the absence of his warmth.
Like a man rising from a trance, he gets to his feet and locks the door behind the detective. His open belt clatters. The buckle collides with his thigh on every step, a reminder of what almost was. He leaves the plates on the table in favor of ducking into the diner’s single occupant bathroom. Out of habit, he locks the door. He doesn’t look at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t want to see the creature he is in this moment. He chooses, instead, to press his forehead against the wall. He shuts his eyes.
Projected against the darkness of his eyelids, he imagines Mark on his knees again. He plays out the scene they had nearly had without the interruption that he is almost thankful for. While he thinks about Mark undoing his pants and taking Strahm’s cock out, he frees himself from the confines of his jeans and takes himself in hand. His dry palm is a far cry from the detective’s saliva-slick mouth.
Still, he strips his cock hard and fast. Mark had already had him on the brink of shamefully cumming in his pants. It’s not long before he’s spilling over his knuckles in hot spurts.
Wrung out and with his legs shaking, he lets go of his softening dick and fumbles for the paper towel dispenser. He wipes his hand off before tucking himself back into his pants and dropping onto the toilet toilet lid, exhausted. It feels like he had ran a marathon. He is going to have a heart attack in this bathroom and Lindsey is going to have to call for a morgue transport after she finds him in the morning.
“Fuck,” he says aloud. Revulsion has stuck its hand in him now that the fog of arousal has fled his body, and it’s rooting around elbow deep in his guts.
He gets to his feet. He washes his hands and still doesn’t meet his eyes in the mirror while he straightens himself up. This might not be the most shameful thing he’s ever done, but it’s higher on the list than he would like. He can gnaw on it while he works. He’s got a diner to clean
───※ ·❆· ※───
Morning greets Strahm with all the grace of a punch to the jaw. He opens his eyes and squints against the light glaring at him through his windshield. He rubs both hands over his face. The brief shade they provide is a soothing balm to his pounding head. The ache radiating through his body like a missing tooth is a vivid reminder of last night.
He had been worked into too much of a shame-fueled frenzy to give the establishment the usual amount of care. No, he’d been on his hands and knees scrubbing the grout in the kitchen with a hard bristled brush until his hands were raw and he was satisfied surgery could be performed on the tile with no risk of infection. It not been the only task that he’d taken upon himself. He had spent so long handling his reaction to the unplanned intimacy that he had not bothered to go back to his rental. He had chosen to sleep in his car instead.
A glance at his watch reveals that he had woken up just after his usual alarm time. Peter drags himself out of his vehicle just as Lindsey’s yellow Ranger pulls into the lot and parks in the space beside his Vic.
“Good morning.” She looks cheerful, vibrant even.
“’Morning.” He grits out. His voice is so rough with sleep that it might as well have been his throat that was getting used last night.
“You look like shit.”
The only answer he gives her is a grunt. He nearly stumbles on the curb when he follows her to the front door.
“No, seriously. What happened?”
“Late night. Got wrapped up in cleaning.” It’s technically the truth. He doesn’t particularly want to confess that he almost fucked Mark and proved his co-owner right. Peter has never been one for losing, no matter the size of the stakes.
Sighing, Lindsey gets her key in the lock. She’s not buying it as being the whole story. If she were blind enough to just accept whatever bullshit he said to her, they never would have been able to be partners for so long.
“How did your date go?” he asks, heading her off before she can corner him in the back for an interrogation. He had gotten her text late last night, assuring him that she hadn’t been murdered in the street and was about go to bed.
Her face splits into a smile. “It went really, really well. She let me walk her to the door.”
“That’s great, Linds.” Her obvious joy manages to drag a returning smile out of him.
He listens to her chatter at him while they settle into their normal morning routine. She lets him get away with muttered responses and acknowledging hums, content to carry the interactions. It’s business as usual with the only the glaring absence of Mark and Angelina.
The sibling duo arrives after the breakfast rush has trickled into maintenance. Right away, Strahm notices that Hoffman looks as tired as he, himself, feels. There’s a serious set to his mouth and his movements are sluggish. They bypass their usual table on account of it being occupied and take up residence on stools at the counter.
“Just coffee for me.” Mark tells him when he silently stares at him in wait for the detective's order.
He feels like last night is written all over his face. If the both of them weren’t so tired, he’s sure some words would be getting thrown around. Unable to do more than exist, he turns to Angie, silently prompting her as well.
“Orange juice and one of those muffins, please,” she says. Like Lindsey, she’s all but glowing.
Nothing for him to cook. It’s just as well. Strahm is feeling he might just face-plant on the cooking surface. With any luck, he can take another nap in his car until Lindsey needs him for lunch support. With the distant sensation of moving through molasses, he pours Mark and Angie their drinks. He nearly knocks over Angelina’s glass when he tries to slide her muffin in front of her.
“Are you okay? I thought Marcus over here was half dead, but I think you got him beat.”
“I’ve always been a winner,” is Peter’s stab at levity.
He ignores Hoffman’s stifled scoff and drags out a notepad. Checking with the summary of items he’d marked as low in the dry storage last night, he writes down everything that he’s going to have to order tomorrow. Mark seems content to watch him while he drinks his coffee. Lindsey and Angelina chatter back and forth as his partner comes and goes. He tunes them out.
Blinking hard, he tries to focus his eyes on the paper in front of him. It’s threatening to triplicate. He sets down his pen and squeezes the bridge of his nose, hard. He needs to lay down.
There’s an explosion like a gunshot.
Peter feels a burning sensation race across the back of his shoulder and down his side. Adrenaline floods his system, burning away the exhaustion. He whips around in time to see Lindsey stumbling back from the coffee machine’s hot water spigot. Her hands are grasping at her face and she’s making noises he has never heard from her before—never thought he would hear. It’s the low, desperate whines of an injured animal.
Immediately, he reaches for her. Peter takes her into his arms, holding her securely against his chest where she curls into him in the blind trust that he can protect her, that he can keep her safe. She’s coughing, trembling. Even has she goes limp from shock, he supports her. She’s his partner and the closest thing he would dare call family.
There are shards of broken glass and hot water everywhere. Right away, it’s clear that a measuring cup had exploded. Hot water into a room temperature glass vessel had caused a rapid expansion. Something that they’d both done more than they should had finally caught up to them.
Mark is right next to him with his sister on his heels. Together, the two men guide Lindsey away from behind the counter and to a clear patch of floor. The detective strips off his blazer and folds it into a makeshift pillow for Strahm’s co-owner as Peter lowers her to the wood. Acid claws at his throat.
“Angie, call for an ambulance.” Mark’s voice is calm, lapping against the edges of Peter’s mind past the ringing in his ears.
The only thing he can focus on is Lindsey. His hands are shaking as he carefully tries to smooth her hair away from her face.
“Okay, c’mon, Shallow breaths. Okay? Stay with me.” He can’t hide the tremor in his voice. There’s so much blood seeping around the glass embedded in her face and neck. He has only seem this amount at crime scenes.
Lindsey reaches up and grabs weakly at his face. Her fingers hook briefly in the collar of his shirt. Peter catches her hand and squeezes it as much to reassure her as himself.
“Pete,” she whines. Tears are leaking from the corners of her eyes.
“I’m here. I’m here, Lindsey. You’re gonna be fine, alright? You’re gonna be fine.” Maybe if he repeats it enough times, it’ll be true.
They had some close calls during their time in the FBI but it was all threats that he could negate. He would have put down any number of perps to ensure her safety. He would have ripped apart the world for her. But this… this was just an accident. He couldn’t protect her from this kind of thing.
He’s unaware of the panicked, half breathes that seize in his chest until Mark places his hand on his back. Peter doesn’t shrug it off. In the background, he can hear Angie on the phone. Her voice is wobbly, distorted through sobs.
After the paramedics arrive, Hoffman has to hold him back when Lindsey lets out a pained yelp from being moved onto the stretcher. She’s never been one to vocalize pain and it’s killing him to hear her.
“Easy… Easy, Peter.” Mark’s voice rumbles against him from where the detective has him held against the expanse of his chest.
Dimly, he realizes that Angelina has a grip on her brother’s arm. She has to be squeezing enough to hurt. Her knuckles are pale. He wonders at why she’s so torn up his partner and then it clicks. Mark had said Angelina had left him alone to go on a date last night. Lindsey had done the same to him. The two women had been together while he and Hoffman were doing whatever fucked up dance they’d been engaged in.
Strahm pushes out of the detective’s hold. He nearly collapses without the support he’d never admit he needed. It’s a smothering weight that he could be crushed under if he let it.
“Everybody out. Show’s over.” Peter calls as soon as Lindsey is wheeled out the door. “We’re closed. Meals are on the house today.”
A few people stand up, not enough. Mark speaks, his voice more vicious than Strahm’s. “You heard him. Have some respect and get the fuck out.”
It works. The customers pick up the pace and soon the diner is empty aside from them.
In daze, Peter steps into the kitchen and turns off the cook-top. He grabs his jacket and his keys from the back. The door hits him hard in the elbow. He nearly slips on the mixture of glass and cooling water. Mark’s hand is there to steady him. The other man plucks the keys from Peter’s grasp before steering both him and Angie across the diner and to the door. Peter lets himself be nudged out onto the step with Mark’s sister while the broad man flips the sign around and locks up for him.
“This way,” he says, leading them both to his car.
Numbly, he obeys as Mark has the two of them clamor into the back seat while he settles behind the wheel. He feels Angelina take his hand in hers. He lets her, just has he had let her brother touch him. Their fingers twist and grip onto each other until their joint hands make up one shared form. All he can see playing on repeat in his mind is the scared look on his partner’s bloody face.
He can’t tell which one of them is shaking. Is is Angie? Is it him? Is it the both of them?
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Do not repost, copy, or reproduce my work to other sites or in other media formats. Do not use it for anything to do with AI. Thank you.
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cherrypikkins · 12 days
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Thank you everyone who participated in the fe3h portrait request this year, whether by making requests, liking, reblogging or leaving nice comments :3
Here is the full compilation of all the works I managed to finish! For certain characters I went back and did some very minor touch-ups, just so they look a bit more consistent. That said, you can see how my style changed quite over time :3;;; Which is fine! I wanted to experiment with the soft texture brushes and try to come up with a style that would look crisp when zoomed out, but also look interesting close up. I hope I managed to achieve that, and that it looks good!!
Don't forget to vote for the final character portrait here!
Hope I can get a chance to do this again one day, it was super fun!!! And, I hope you guys had fun too~
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yeah so i'm falling for @weevmo's Guys... they're so neat! i dig their vibes and can't wait to see what Corduroy Stew is all about <3
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hellspawnmotel · 11 months
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terranigma, a cool game
#terranigma#terranigma ark#terranigma elle#terranigma meilin#art tag#im going to write a little review in the tags bear with me#first the negative:#the magic system is weird to use and basically useless apart from one boss thats almost impossible without magic#it has some weird racism like most old games where you travel around the world. a little more egregious since its supposed to be real earth#i found the main character to be slightly insufferable for about 3/4ths of the game. i came around on him by the end tho. he grows up a lot#and i found whats by far the largest section of the game (chapter 3) to be the least interesting#im not really into helping cities develop and trade quests tho so it might just be me#oh also it is STUPID easy to permanently lock yourself out of like 15 sidequests#and theres a lot of mandatory things that are really hard to figure out. you need to use a walkthrough for this#anyway thats what i didnt like#what i DID like tho. i dont want to get into too much detail but#its a genuinely beautiful game for so much of it#there were so many moments that left me speechless#its high-concept and thoughtful and fun to play#you dont really need to do much grinding either#at its worst its obtuse and cliche but at its best its breathtaking#and i really recommend more people check it out#special shoutout to my friend seona who modded my 3DS and downloaded a bunch of roms including this one#so in conclusion. terranigma is an underrated gem. play it if youre a 90s jrpg junkie like me#just have a walkthrough open also lol
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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I think this topic is underdiscussed in the trans community, so I'd like to talk about it.
It's okay for trans people to mourn that some of us don't have the option to have children the way we'd like to. It is okay if a trans woman mourns that she is unable to become pregnant, for example, and there is no reason to shame her for how she feels. Equally, I think it can be inappropriate to tell us that there are other options besides "traditional" means of conception, like adoption. We know that there are other options, and that isn't the point.
I go back and forth on if I even want to be a father, and in both mindsets, I mourn that I don't have all the options I want to have children. It sucks. It really, really sucks. And it's hard to accept that this isn't my fault or my body's fault. That's the hardest part for me. But whether or not it's hard to accept, it isn't my fault - it isn't your fault, either, if you feel the same ways I do. Our bodies and our selves aren't the problem. We are not broken because we don't have all the options we'd like.
No matter how you feel about this topic, just know... you aren't a problem or a burden. No matter what your journey looks like, happiness and fulfillment can be found, eventually.
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spacebubblehomebase · 2 months
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Without colors or context, this simple and stupid comic of mine feels so, so tense; It's ominous. The difference from the tone of my last doodle is low-key hilarious though. But please, *insert ace joke here* cause I swear this is nothing serious. I don't even know why I gave in so much effort or show ya'll my progress before finishing, yet here we are. -Bubbly💙
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peridots-pixiwolf · 1 year
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[Start ID. A digital drawing of Minos Prime from Ultrakill, who's wearing a strapless slit dress and sandals of the same deep purple. He faces towards and slightly to the right of the camera, his head is tilted further right. With one hand he gestures in a vague pointing motion, his arm folded and held close to his body. There is nothing in the background, but bracing himself on one arm, Minos is implied to be leaning against something about the height of a countertop. The background is a blank purplish black, save for three diagonal stripes in the colors of the bisexual flag. End ID]
Shading study that quite literally came to me in a dream two weeks ago, after this post apparently beamed itself into my mind
(also a few edits below the cut! they're very slight but whatever :])
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[Start ID. Three different versions of the previous drawing. The first changes the tone of the lighting from blue to pink, and similarly the shading from pink to blue. The second replaces the faint black border with pink, purple and blue, syncing with the stripes in the background. The third combines both these changes. End ID]
#the tags got NERFED so let's try this again.#peridots-art#minos prime ultrakill#ultrakill#ask to tag#organs#...? gore maybe? for the whole ''transparent chest/visible cardiovascular system'' thing. not very detailed/realistic though so#i don't think this has all of the same charm as i usually find in my posts. but i tried my best to make it work so i don't think it matters#also ''not too happy with how this turned out'' is something i've seen tacked onto posts worthy of being preserved in museums#i heard someone say his snakes should be ball pythons. i'm not autistic about snakes so i decided to listen to the masters#i still have seven levels to p-rank before i can meet this guy!! halfway there (lust/greed and 1-3 remaining) i've only had my own copy#of ultrakill for a week and i already have 33 hours in. anyway he's grown on me i think. absolute bi king and only monarch i respect <3#i think it's interesting how i now define my queerness by being gray-ace and trans when i first only identified with bisexual. it's still#an important part of me even if sometimes i forget. sorry that sounds completely unrelated but it's related to my feelings on this piece#anyway (i wonder how many ''anyway''s i've slapped on so far) i also find it interesting how often people draw him with this body type.#i think it's cool there's variety in how people draw the uk characters. it just kinda feels right here? i know i unfortunately don't draw#fat characters often at all (partially due to being a primarily fandom blog who likes to stick to canon designs. i wouldn't say i have#trouble with drawing a realistic amount of fat even on rather thin people though lol) but i try! also genuinely unsure what counts as like.#fat vs chubby? or whatever? i don't know exactly how the terminology works and a fair amount of minos' bulk is muscle anyway but. yeah 👍#men are pretty in dresses my final message. goodbye
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r-aindr0p · 4 months
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Ok so I found this finished illustration while scrolling through sketches, it’s been sitting in the dust for 2/3 months ??? It would be really dumb to post this next year so here you go
More ocs of mine, a duo of exorcist priest more precisely ! Names are Stigma (flipping you off) and Antonio (ridiculously big hairbun) they work for the Vatican but have been directly sent from heaven. Stigma can morph into the holy lance and Antonio wields him. Soul eater like but priests basically
Aaand Antonio was based on Antonio Vivaldi, so I made him other priest robe designs based on the 4 seasons aswell (but the specific art is old they need a redesign.)
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best-enemies · 26 days
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I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]
Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)
Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]
(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)
LIKE!!!!!!!
Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.
#csi#gsr#i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything#need to talk more about these two here#because im obsessed about them in a Normal way#sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together#i would not though#i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far#also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what#i could talk about her forever she's everything to me#and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever#i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them#and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line#nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it#but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know#but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life#you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too#he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it#and his smirks#AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA#im losing my mind#i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ#ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic#one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone#or this persons' lifestyle#he's always trying to understand them and not judge them#like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people#and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much#like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara#they're a perfect match for me
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teleport-warning · 5 months
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comfort characters as the Steven meme for the whole squad
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hallowbiome · 8 months
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MSPaint Sketches I did during school (and while doing homework)
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not-krys · 11 days
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100 Themes Challenge: Filled Prompts Masterlist
-[Character A] x [Character B et al]: Romantic and/or Sexual Relationship
-[Character A] & [Character B et al]: Platonic, Familial, Acquaintanceship
-[Character A, etc], [Character B] x/& [Character C et al]: Observer character(s) to the main character(s) interaction
-Writing Masterlist
-Blank 100 Themes Challenge List
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1. Introduction (Aug 2023)
Houki & Nobunaga (WIP Wednesday) | Abby & Vincent (WIP Wednesday) | Clara x Nokto (WIP Wednesday)
2. Love (Feb 2023)
Houki x Mitsunari (WIP Wednesday)  | Ophelia (WIP Wednesday) | Thea x Theo (WIP Wednesday) | Abby x Vincent (WIP Wednesday) | Maddie x Harr (WIP Wednesday)  | Clara x Nokto (WIP Wednesday) | Miri & Mammon (WIP Wednesday)
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Old
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence (Aug 2022)
Houki x Mitsunari (WIP Wednesday) | Abby x Vincent (WIP Wednesday) | Maddie x Harr (WIP Wednesday) | Clara x Nokto (WIP Wednesday) | Miri (WIP Wednesday)
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray (March 2023)
Shakespeare, Vincent x Abby (WIP Wednesday)
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time (April 2023)
Thea x Arthur (WIP Wednesday) | No Time [Clara x Rio]
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers (July 2023)
Abby & Vlad (WIP Wednesday) | Maddie & Loki (WIP Wednesday) | Clara & Silvio (WIP Wednesday)
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand (Feb 2024)
Houki x Mitsunari (WIP Wednesday) | Ophelia x Kennyo (WIP Wednesday) | Thea & Isaac (WIP Wednesday) | Abby & Jean (WIP Wednesday) | Miri & Mammon (WIP Wednesday)
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned (Nov 2023)
Clara x Rio (WIP Wednesday) | Miri & Levi (WIP Wednesday)
39. Dreams
40. Plus
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still 
43. Die
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation (March 2024)
Leonardo, Abby x Vincent (WIP Wednesday) | Miri & Luke & Barbatos (WIP Wednesday)
48. Childhood
49. Soft
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Rot
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Father (June 2023)
Houki (WIP Wednesday) | Thea x Theo x Arthur (WIP Wednesday) | Abby x Vincent (WIP Wednesday) | Clara & Mr. Akatsuki (WIP Wednesday) | Miri & Lucifer (WIP Wednesday)
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb (April 2024)
Mitsuhide, Houki x Mitsunari (WIP Wednesday) | Abby & Theo (WIP Wednesday) | Clara x Nokto (WIP Wednesday) | Miri, Satan & Simeon (WIP Wednesday)
64. Multitasking
65. Horror (Oct 2023)
Reaching Out [Vincent van Gogh x Abigail Clarke]
66. Traps
67. Nurture (May 2023)
Houki x Mitsunari (WIP Wednesday) | Ophelia (WIP Wednesday) | Abby x Vincent, Theo & Arthur (WIP Wednesday) | Maddie x Harr (WIP Wednesday)
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. Mislead
71. Obsession
72. Mischief
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?  (Sept 2023)
Houki & Nobunaga (WIP Wednesday) | Abby & Arthur & Isaac (WIP Wednesday) | Miri & Lucifer (WIP Wednesday)
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation (Jan 2023)
Houki & Masamune (WIP Wednesday) | Ophelia x Kennyo (WIP Wednesday) | Abby & Leonardo (WIP Wednesday) | Maddie & Loki (WIP Wednesday) | Clara & Rio (WIP Wednesday)
80. Words
81. Today
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral (Jan 2024)
Miri & Simeon (WIP Wednesday)
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Sick
90. Iron
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Young
96. In the Storm (Dec 2023)
First Kicks (Abby x Vincent)
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation
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cat-of-starlight · 1 year
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tfw you are trying to Limbus Pull but the game's only Bonus Units™ are the ones that freak you out/irritate you lmao whoops
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ratscrap · 7 months
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oh brother who invited this guy
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