#the workplace is also toxic as fuck and treats new people like shit so

[noctglaive]

Hello, I have to apologise for the lack of a lot at the moment, especially art. I got a full time retail job back in August and it has been killing me mentally and physically, so I'm looking for something else in the spare time I do have, and also a bit closer to home. Thank you for sticking around, I'm gonna draw so much Ardyn when I'm finally free again.

#text post #like i can't express to you how depressed i am that i only have about three hours a day now to eat shower and rest #the workplace is also toxic as fuck and treats new people like shit so #i value my health too much now

[always-there]

About a new job

Nothing beats the feeling of rampant success like being a trainee in your 30s.

I remember watching Friends when I was a teen and thinking that even though Chandler's career change so late in life was brave, it was also deeply lame. I resented his poor life choices, I felt that in his place, if I reached that age and had built a successful career, whatever it was, I'd just stick to it and make the most of what I had.

Now that I'm a couple of years older than most of the Friends cast at the time... man. I feel ya, Mr. Bing.

I have a consistent tendency to become a workaholic in no time and overwork myself to exhaustion. And with overworking and exhausting come resentment and anger towards my employer. Instead of creating boundaries or trying to solve the issue with my company, I go on until my body and brain just can't keep up with it anymore and quit out of the blue. The company, who was happily milking me to their heart's content, freaks out. They counter-offer, schedule urgency meetings with HR to talk me out of it. Because even though I'm dead inside and constantly burnt, I'm good. I'm really good at what I do, and I'm also what I usually call a working beast. Not in a hyperbolic way, in the farm-bull-pulling-a-carriage-of-debris-across-an-uphill-field way. So I invariably end up leaving in bad terms from the company, spend a month or so trying to launch my freelance career, fail at it again because my obsessive anxiety won't let me live not knowing exactly what my detailed future is gonna be in the next month, and start again at yet another company.

And here I am now. It's 7 am. I have to wake up at 6 am in winter. This is my third day and I already want to call it quits. It's winter here, so when I opened my eyes it was so damn cold and dark. Like, pitch-black night. It's 7 am and I'm working with a desk lamp on, which gives the whole apartment a look and feel of being working overtime at the eerie hours of night that does not help my overall mood.

I know, I know. I should be thankful for the blessing of having a job in this uncertain time and age, when so many are struggling to make ends meet. I am thankful. But I am also tired and in a deep no-bullshit state of mind and soul that is not convenient to start working on a new place.

What's killing me is how disorganized they are. To begin with, I started on a Thursday. Nobody said a word to me. I'm working from home for the time being, so you can imagine the feeling of WTH when you're staring at Skype on your desk, waiting for someone to remember that they have to train you. I eventually gave up. I devoted myself to reading the endless HR messages and whatever employee manuals they sent my way and then I binged a couple of episodes of Cherry Magic! on Crunchyroll.

Then someone showed up. I suspect they are my immediate boss, but who knows. I don't even have a company organization chart. They asked me to complete about 50 e-learning tutorials for a determined software, take the tests that would trigger once I watched it all, and send them the certificates of completion as proof.

I told them that in my previous job, and the job before that one, and the one before the job before that one, I used to teach advanced courses on that software for professionals. Do you really want me to do this instead of, you know, learning something more specific to my position that would allow me to be useful to you sooner?

No, do the tutorials. It will be good to review the basics.

Fine. My fighting spirit is dead anyways. I choose my battles now. My boss (I guess they are) made clear they expected the e-learning to take my whole first day, and vanished into oblivion.

So, I didn't watch the videos. I accessed the tests through a different website that gave people the chance to take them without watching that fuckload of tutorials, completed them in 15 minutes, downloaded my perfect-score certificates and devoted the rest of my working day to inking my webcomic.

Day 2 was no better at first until at some point near my lunch hour the exhausted coworker for whose immediate benefit I was hired appeared and gave me a task to complete. I won't bore you with the details, but in short, they asked me to prepare a batch of files to be sent for revision before the final delivery to the client.

I was not taught how to do it. They sent me a link to download a previous delivery to use as a reference.

I managed to complete the task, of course I did. It's what I do best, I find my way on my own under pressure and against the clock. But I'm pissed. I'm pissed because this, you don't do *this*.

I'm fine with it because I am who I am, a 30 year old with no soul, no expectations, and a ton of experience dealing with this crap.

But what if I had been a proper newbie in the industry? A junior fresh outta college, a kid on their first or second job. Do you know what kind of stress this situation would put them under? How awful it is to be treated this way?

I was in charge of training new hires before, and I took pains to make them feel safe and welcome. I would spend fucking hours burning their brains on shared-screen calls on Skype, showing them every detail. I wrote whole ass step-by-step process manuals, so simple and detailed they were annoying, so that they would know what to do even if nobody had time for them.

This neglect of trainees pisses me off. It doesn't matter that I am able to complete the task at hand, that I am able to train myself. I shouldn't have. Nobody should.

I know I say I'm dead inside a lot, and a great deal of that is thanks to years of abusive workplaces. So even though I don't give a fuck about a ton of things, unfairness triggers me. I won't have it, I don't want anyone to suffer it.

So yeah. That.

Last Friday the only coworker that speaks to me (the others won't even say good morning back to you, there's a suspicious lack of will to live in this company) called me an hour before my shift was over and rushed me through a ton of complicated processes and technical instructions and deemed me ready to undertake the next huge project that client sent, from start to finish. They would train me sometime later, they said, and I left feeling uneasy once I had completed my first hour of overtime on my second day.

I shrugged.

This place looks as toxic as it could get, but the person I am today is overflowing with nuclear waste, so I think I'm prepared to neutralize their shit with a ton of counter-not-giving-a-shit in return.

We'll see how it goes. Unlike Chandler Bing, I have no hopes here, so I think I'm better prepared to thrive.

#slice of life #new job #trainee #toxic office #the office #at least I work from home so I can shit on the clock completely at ease

[leanconnoli]

You know that feeling, when you think back to the first canon queer representation you were exposed to, and then just get so fucking mad that you write a 7 page list of all the ways that is was shitty and toxic and abusive?

#mine #long post #like really long #lol glee #lol klaine #lol blaine #lol blaine anderson #anti klaine #anti blaine anderson #anti glee #anti blaine #im not tagging with any of the actual tags because this is a very long and very bitter post #idk why but the rage over this has consumed me for like 2 weeks now #i really didnt even watch glee for that long #but it fucking haunts me apparently #bad queer representation #the young queers of my generation had this toxic mess to look up to #we deserved better

[nautixa]

Hello everyone!

Just a friendly reminder that feminism means equal rights for women. That does not mean that women are above men nor are we below them. It simply means that we want to have equal opportunities as men.

For years, men have dominated the workplace, our governments, and our homes. We had little say in what we could do or how to live our lives to their fullest. But we have made significant strides in the movement! Women are becoming leaders in society, changing dynamics for the better, and having opportunities we have never had in the past. Hell, over 100 years ago we just got the right to vote in America. Now we've got women running for president in the US, becoming CEO's of important and large businesses, and fighting for our countries and freedoms in our militaries.

I am grateful to be raised and surrounded by such strong women who I can look up to. Their strength, independence, intelligence, integrity, and character have all made me proud to be a woman. And it is because of them that I have the opportunities I do now. But I have also been surrounded by men who have been supportive of my decisions and actions since day one, and it is because of them that I am determined to make other women understand the importance of having male allies.

Here's a fun little piece of information: not all men are monsters! Not all men are trying to degrade women, force them to have their children, make them slave away in a kitchen, or rape them! Not all men want us to be below them. In fact, there are quite a few men who want us to have the same rights, pay, and opportunities as they do! I think if some women opened their minds and became more accepting of others, they'd realize that not all men want to mansplain and treat us like shit.

There are some "feminists" out there who are calling for a genocide of men. What the actual fuck!! Replace the word "men" with any religious group or race. Go on. You see what you're saying? You're calling for a mass killing of human beings. That's like saying something like Holocaust was ok.

"Oh, it's fine. They're just men."

No. Just no! Stop trying to degrade other people just because of their gender. We are feminists! It's time we acted like it.

I understand that there are accounts on Tumblr that degrade men and try to represent feminists. Please, do not listen to them. The fact that people can think such things is quite frankly horrifying. If a man thought such things, it would be atrocious. So how come a woman can say such things? It's quite simple: they cannot. If you call yourself a feminist, you call for equal rights. You are never, ever above someone. Regardless of gender, you are never above someone.

I think that feminists can really make a change in the world. There are still so many nations that treat women horribly, where they are treated as objects rather than people. Saudi Arabia just allowed women over 21 to travel the country without male supervision. In Egypt, a large number of the women have suffered from genital mutilation. And in South Africa during 2015-2016, over 42,000 women were raped.

We can't focus on treating men like shit. We have have to focus on our main objective: helping other women escape horrible realities to achieve equal rights. It's our duty as feminists to change society for the better, to create a new world where women can feel safe, empowered, and proud to call themselves women.

Before I end this very disorganized rant (my apologies), I'd also like to say a few things to that degrading group of people who think they have a right to call themselves feminists:

- Some women can be rapists.

- Some women can be abusive.

- Women can make mistakes and do wrong.

Those are the facts.

Ladies, it's time we change the way society views feminists. Because of a small, malicious group of women, our name has been tarnished. We have to change that.

Equal rights, not superiority.

Edit: I know I'm going to get a lot of shit from this, but I had to get my thoughts down. Toxic feminism is an awful thing, and it needs to end. I know there are bad men out there, ones who want to end our movement and revert society back to what it once was. There are men who will rape, abuse, and silence us. But I felt it was important to remind ourselves that there are good men as well. We cannot stoop so low as to reverse our history and treat men like the way women were treated 40+ years ago. Thank you all so much for reading this, and I'd love to hear your input!

#feminist #Feminism #toxic feminism #why we need feminism #End toxic feminism #Equal rights not superiority

[invelleity]

psst. be honest. all of the questions. go.

i can’t believe jeanette is tryina kill me in public and i’m still love her??? | not accepting anymoooore | @ltbroccoli​

cracks knuckles here we go ( odd numbers 1-9 are here )

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Not very. It’s fun and cute and all, but I care a whole lot more about “clicking” with people and having fun writing with them.

Exception: If someone’s aesthetic is so overblown that I can’t even find the pages on the blog or read the text, I.....won’t interact with that tbh.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

(kicks down my roommate’s door at 10pm) “OK so I’m writing— stop screaming, it’s me,— I’m writing a character in Security and you’re like a double black belt or some shit, can you explain how—”

( My roommates all know it’s a thing I do but I’ve never sent them a link or shown them any of the actual writing. They’ve met a bunch of y’all over like Rabbit streams and @rumdaydreams​ irl though so like.... They Know. )

More under the cut

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

Ehhh, depends on my mood. I lean towards female muses in general ( definitely got a bigger chunk of ladies on my list, for sure for sure ) but I love my boys.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Uhhhh A) We’re all such dumb socially awkward blobs so it’s often hard to get to know new people.

B) The feel that if you have a good relationship with one person who writes a canon muse, it’s some kind of lowkey betrayal to write with other people who write the same muse??

C) How much I, a certified card-carrying dumbass, stress myself out about posting on a “regular” schedule. Does that count? Like I want the blogs to look “presentable” lmao and me@me Calm The Fuck Down.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

N / A

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

Uhhhh, when I first started was long enough ago and the community was so different a lot of those lessons no longer apply. I wish when I finally jumped over to Tumblr I’d realized quicker how the new like....basic ways of meeting people and posting and all worked, which was mostly just a “calm down and go with the flow more, let go of your stupid rigid old habits” lmaooo.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

yES. Yeah. Hahaha ha h. 

But ummm, not usually. No. Most of my drama has been either A) me posting the very very softest, most diluted version of barely-touching on my politics and my real goddamn life and people being fuckin butthurt as hell about or B) cutting people who were toxic and draining out of my life. So.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

cw suicidal ideation ment

Yeah. Once I actually did — when I started college I just didn’t have the time, so I peaced from the larger community to just write with close friends for a while. I’ve also considered leaving the T.umblr RPC a few times, but really only because of long bad depressive episodes. Coming back and “not wanting to literally die irl ha Ha” and catching up with my drafts gets me back on track lmao. 

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

Positive! Sometimes I worry that I spend too much time wrapped up in fiction and miss my real life, but I’ve learned to keep my time more separate so now it’s just good to have a healthy hobby that makes me happy. Also I’m definitely a much better writer for it, and there a lot of networking skills I think translate to real workplace skills so it’s 👌

15. How has rp changed you personally?

See above, tbh. And it gives me a lot of good outlets for writing ideas that would otherwise stew in my head until I hated myself for never ever writing any lmao. It’s good.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

Oh, I dunno. I wish I could post replies from mobile more easily, god. That’d keep me a lot more on top of my drafts lmao.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

Not on any of the rp blogs. ;^)

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? 

No, wtf

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

Depends on the hate — things I feel need to be addressed or I want to be clear about not tolerating I’ll post. Personal hate and mean shit I delete.

Or if it’s stupid and makes me laugh I will definitely post that shit.

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Sometimes. If a partner is actually pressuring me I’m real good at saying uhhh hey, fuck off about that? but sometimes partners will perfectly-innocently be enthusiastic about things I’m not super comfortable with and that’s harder to bring up. So it’s..... more like I pressure myself, whoops.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Ehh. Not really. Sometimes I’ll follow a friend of a friend despite lack of interest just because, like.... My friends are smart and good, maybe I’m just not getting the right “vibe” from their blog as who really they are. Sometimes that just means we never click and I unfollow them later. Or sometimes @rumdaydreams​ drags me straight to mutual hell and we write 20,000 unfinished bullshit and meet irl and she actually talks me into wholeass new blogs and muses. So, you know. Mix bag.

22. What would make you block someone?

Red flags for manipulation and lowgrade emotional a.buse, especially ones I viscerally feel in my stomach from previous experiences. Obvious r.ight-leaning politics ( Weirdly, I’m not particularly comfortable around people who don’t think I or my friends deserve to be treated like human beings! A character quirk, haha! )

Also ngl sometimes I block people just to remind myself I’ve followed them before and I don’t wanna re-follow them six times and look like I’m trying to intentionally harass them. My memory is bad but the block button always knows, lmao. 😅

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Not intentionally — I try very hard not to steal hc from duplicates or take plots without asking. But, y’know, sometimes an idea sticks in your head and you eventually just forget where it originally came from.

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Not that I’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

Absolutely, for the most part! I like seeing other perspectives, and especially since @thewrongsorts​ is such a bigass multi it lowkey just makes my life easier.

There are a few exceptions — less because they’re duplicates and more because there are hc/fanon I just......dislike enough I don’t wanna write with them. Not a feeling that’s limited to duplicates tbh.

26. How do you feel about vague posting? 

Ehhh. It’s like not a great thing, but I get the appeal. I tend to unfollow if someone posts a lot of it because then they’re just passive-aggressive as a person, but the occasional vagueblog I don’t mind. Sometimes you gotta get shit off your chest but you don’t wanna make it a wholeass call-out, I get it.

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Generally I unfollow. I’m here to write, if we’re not interacting it’s clogging my dash. ( Honestly I unfollow mutuals eventually if we never write.... ) But very occasionally someone’s got such good #takes and hc that I stick around just bc I stan.

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

A l w a y s.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

It’s nice! Like.... I wouldn’t require anyone to do it, but it makes people feel better about their blogs, it’s polite. I know I’m happier getting memes as well as passing them along. You know, be social. Connect with people. I always try to practice it, yeah.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

Uhhh, yeah. My irl social circles are a lot of dumb gay millennials, we use a lot of dumb internet slang.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge?

Oh yeah! Joined Tumblr rpc ten years late with Starbucks! But also like.... I’m a web developer. 90% of my irl workskills are being good at Googlin’ shit. So I’ve pretty much always found the answer on my own, at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

32. Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? 

( See above. )

33. Have you ever experienced discrimination? 

Here or irl or....? I mean yes in any case, but much less often in the rpc specifically. This blog is a lot less outspoken ( both about politics or about who I....am....generally ) than most of my others or me irl.

Shoutout to that time I complained one (1) time about how copacetic the H.arry P.otter rpc is and an actual irl n.eon.azi jumped in my inbox lmaooooooo.

34. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

Uhhh, I don’t love it? But if they mostly chill and don’t fuck with my actual threads I usually ignore them. ¯\_( ‘ ‘ )_/¯

35. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

No. I’m not like......good at crying. 😐

36. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

Depends on the blog. Some multis I follow are in fandoms I just like don’t even understand, so I don’t read those. Sometimes I just don’t got the energy. But I read a lot of my friends’ other threads or threads on blogs I stan.

Good writing is good shit and I’m.....a big 👀 bitch. Tbh.

37. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

Call-out posts, bringing real life politics into rp, generally acknowledging that we have lives outside of the fictional world that affect how we read and interact with fiction.

( 👏 The O.rder 👏👏 of the 👏 P.hoenix 👏👏 is A.ntif.a 👏👏👏 )

I don’t want to ever push that onto other people though, definitely. (Especially people affected by terrifying irl politics and coming here for escapism. )

38. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

Always 👏👏 tag 👏👏 fucking 👏 triggers 👏👏👏

I tag things that are common or obviously upsetting, and if someone asks I add whatever tags they need to my list — the “list” is mostly a mental tally so I occasionally fuck up, but god I feel strongly about triggers.

Let 👏 people 👏 who are hurting 👏👏 live. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

39. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

Poking around to see how other people seem to “operate” and scrolling through posts about how to get started is so so so fucking helpful! Don’t be afraid to do it!

Also reach out to people as much as you can work up the spoons to. If they’re rude back to you, like..... They were never worth your time anyhow. You dodged a bullet.

( Value yourself 2k19 )

#i clearly numbered something wrong in there but uhhhhh oh well. #jeanette tag #answered #ask games #mun stuff #rpc #lonnnnngass post #under the cut #long post for ts #oh jeannete i.....love you #icb i answered all of these #what a day to be alive #icb i ended up tagging kate in this TWICE #kate tag #ltbroccoli

[96thdayofrage]

In September the Reader was alerted to two complaints, one filed with the city's Commission on Human Relations and the other with the Illinois Department of Human Rights, detailing discrimination and racist statements made by high-level managers at Pangea, one of Chicago's biggest corporate landlords. Until the start of the coronavirus pandemic, the company was the city's most prolific filer of eviction cases. Its apartment holdings are concentrated largely in Black neighborhoods on the south and west sides of the city and in nearby suburbs, now totaling 9,400 units in 492 buildings. The company also has several thousand more units in Indianapolis and Baltimore.

The complaints were filed by Armando Magana, 45, the chief maintenance supervisor at Pangea in Chicago who'd been with the company since 2010. He's worked in various roles and received promotions and bonuses, most recently in February, Magana writes. "Notwithstanding my exceptional performance, Pangea has repeatedly discriminated against me because of my Hispanic ethnicity and my Mexican national origin. Throughout my employment, Pangea has also subjected me to a hostile work environment based on numerous derisive and derogatory statements made by Pangea's managers and executives regarding my ethnicity and national origin."

Magana's complaint includes several examples of such statements from vice president of operations Derek Reich and CEO Pete Martay. He claims that in 2017 Reich "told me that I should avoid being seen working with an African-American work colleague if I did not want to be viewed in the same way as that 'lazy nigger.'"

Magana details two occasions in 2018 when Reich "suggested hiring 'illegals' because they will accept less compensation," and resisted Magana's recommendations for which employees should get raises, allegedly saying, "'aren't these guys illegal?'"

Further in the complaints he recounts a 2019 meeting in which management for a newly acquired building near Loyola University on the north side was allegedly discussed. "My African American colleague asked, 'who will be managing the building,' to which Mr. Reich responded, 'they've never seen a Regional Manager of your kind in that area.' I asked about getting access to the roof top, to which Mr. Martay stated, 'Yeah I can imagine Armando showing up with his trash can and saying "Hello I'm Armando, the janitor here to clean up after you."'"

Later that year, Magana alleges he "met with Mr. Reich at a property that Pangea had recently begun to manage. During a discussion regarding employee staff assignments, Mr. Reich remarked that 'Mexicans are for custodial and maintenance, Blacks for property management, and Whites for the back office, that's it.'" The following month Magana alleges that Martay said to him, in front of other employees, "I should make you pull your fucking tools back out and make you clean shit out of the fucking tubs, like you used to."

Magana writes that he reported Martay's "derogatory comments" to Reich and both supervisors' comments to Pangea's HR manager Lori Bysong as well as the company's CFO Patrick Borchard and cofounder and former CEO Steve Joung. "Mr. Joung listened to me, then responded by saying that he doubted workplace discrimination was occurring."

Magana claims in the complaint that at the end of 2019 he also had a conversation with Pangea's operations manager Sean McQuade about hiring and pay for new workers, requesting $22/hour for one of them. "Mr. McQuade responded by asking 'Do you know if he's illegal? Do you think he has papers? . . . Do you think this guy is worth $22/hour?'" Again, Magana claims he reported these comments to HR, Pangea's in-house attorney Jennifer Dean, and other supervisors.

"Despite having complained on multiple occasions directly to multiple members of Pangea management, no one at the Company ever responded to, investigated, or otherwise communicated with me regarding my several complaints," Magana writes. "Rather, Mr. Reich continues to make derogatory, discriminatory comments toward me. Specifically, on May 12, 2020, Mr. Reich called me and stated, 'stop treating me like a shine. Last time I checked I was white.'"

In both an internal e-mail obtained by the Reader and in an e-mailed statement from CEO Pete Martay, Pangea has denied Magana's allegations and said he's refused to cooperate in the company's internal efforts to investigate.

"Pangea Properties has zero tolerance for racist or discriminatory behavior," Martay wrote to the Reader. "We take allegations of this nature very seriously. As a result, we hired a neutral investigator to carry out a prompt and thorough investigation and have also engaged legal representation to defend the company against allegations we believe are baseless. The complainant and his witnesses have refused multiple requests to participate in our investigation."

The Reader also presented the company with an opportunity to respond to additional allegations made by ten other current and former employees about Pangea's corporate culture. These included vivid descriptions of demeaning statements by Reich and other supervisors, as well as allegations of segregated and demeaning working conditions. "We categorically deny the claims in the complaint and also the statements made against us by former employees," wrote Martay. Neither Reich nor McQuade, whose conduct Magana also referenced in his complaint, responded to a request for comment.

Hostile work environments are both ubiquitous and difficult to reform. Their toxicity can be hard to pin down and prove on paper, especially when corporate promotions and official praise are interspersed with interpersonal disrespect and disregard. As a reckoning over the prejudices endemic to white-dominated workplaces roils the private and public sectors, employees of color from businesses and institutions as varied as Adidas, LinkedIn, Vogue, the San Francisco health department, and Loyola University have begun speaking out about the racial microaggressions, gaslighting, and harassment that defines office culture for them.

Even as he received glowing performance reviews, Magana could also feel hostility from management. For example, in an August 2013 e-mail obtained by the Reader, Reich wrote a brief note to another regional manager. The subject line read, "Armando was excited about converting to Islam . . . " and inside the body of the e-mail the sentence ended " . . . Until he found out you can't eat pork." Attached was a photo of Magana, grinning, in a little white hat reminiscent of a kufi skull cap.

When asked about the e-mail Magana said he was dismayed at being the target of a crude joke that appeared to be both Islamophobic and about his weight. "I never thought he was gonna take a picture and send it," he said with a grim chuckle as we looked at the image over beers at the nearly deserted patio of the Promontory in Hyde Park. Magana wore a black valve mask and a short sleeve blue polo, apparently unbothered by the biting gusts of wind on that late September afternoon. As he stared at the photo he said the fact that it had been e-mailed was unusual; in his experience Reich rarely left a paper trail of demeaning comments. "It was always phone calls with Derek," Magana said. "He really doesn't like to put anything in e-mail. If you send him an e-mail, he'll call. If you meet him in the field, he'll make those comments."

As documented in his complaints, Magana attempted to have the "discriminatory communications and behavior" he experienced addressed internally, but complaints to HR and leaders of the company didn't help. Finally he started working with attorney Marc Siegel to appeal to external authorities to intervene. The company soon also hired an outside attorney to help handle the situation.

Pangea's lawyers "kept telling [Siegel] that I was exaggerating and they always treated me good and they weren't being racist toward me," Magana told the Reader. "Long story short, I told my attorney I'm not gonna play this game, I'm gonna file this with the state and city and I'm gonna make it public."

By late spring the stress of working at Pangea had intensified due to the coronavirus pandemic. "I broke down because when the COVID started Derek was just calling me every other day, every other day: 'What are you doing?' I'd say 'We're working . . . but we don't have any sanitizing supplies. We don't have masks.'"

Magana said Pangea didn't offer hazard pay. Some field employees took time off because they were scared to go back into the apartment buildings, especially when word got around that tenants were falling ill. Magana says Reich didn't seem to care. "It was like, 'All these guys need to come back to work.' I'm like, 'Derek we're all working, there's some people who took off because they're scared.'"

Magana said that Reich demanded that he choose five of his staff to fire as part of a company effort to reduce the employee headcount to below 500 so that Pangea could qualify for a Paycheck Protection Program loan from the federal government.

He said that in late March Reich called him. "He says, 'You got any shitty people working for you? Give me five.' I'm like, 'I don't have any shitty people working for me.' He's like, 'Well, give me five.'"

The Reader obtained an e-mail Magana sent to Reich the next day, listing four employees who changed positions in the company without being replaced and one who was about to leave Pangea anyway. "There's your four plus one, he's already out the door," Magana recalled thinking. He said that after that he got another phone call from Reich who demanded he name five additional people to fire because Pangea's employee count was at 512.

Magana said he submitted another list of names. "I was destroyed about that," he said. According to records released by the Small Business Administration in July, Pangea was awarded a $5-$10 million loan through the PPP program. They listed an employee count of 494.

By June, Magana needed a break. The stress of the job was getting to him and affecting his family, and he took a leave of absence for a month and a half. "I got kind of depressed, stressed out, I was trying to take care of my health," he said. "I found out my son was depressed, so I had to dedicate myself to him."

Magana said things got worse for him at Pangea after he came back to work in July. There were sudden extra meetings where he was questioned about his work. He felt increasingly micromanaged.

Nevertheless, Magana was still determined to continue working at the company, where he was making $115,000 in salary, got bonuses, and to which he'd devoted a decade of his life. "I'm happy where I'm at, I'm good at what I do, I've done nothing wrong," he said.

Word about Magana's complaint began to get out at Pangea, and e-mails from pseudonymised accounts suddenly appeared in all field employees' inboxes, sharing Magana's complaints and encouraging them to file their own. The company quickly deleted these e-mails from employees' inboxes, however. In a September 30 e-mail to all field employees obtained by the Reader, Martay acknowledged that deletion, adding that the "current employee" who complained about mistreatment "refused to cooperate and will not speak to the independent investigator" Pangea hired to look into the allegations. Though Martay didn't refer to Magana by name in this e-mail, Magana says he felt the CEO's message was meant to undermine him. "We categorically deny the claims made in the complaint and have engaged legal representation to defend the company against them," Martay wrote.

By the beginning of October, Magana felt he could no longer remain at Pangea. "I cannot continue to work under hostile environment with retaliation," he wrote to me in a text message. Though he technically resigned from his job himself, his attorney argues that he was "constructively discharged" by management because of the "discrimination and harassment and retaliation he faced at work."

According to legal precedent established by the U.S. Supreme Court in the 2006 Burlington Northern & Santa Fe Railway Co. v. White decision, the definition of retaliation for complaints about workplace discrimination is broad. "It could be making your work life more difficult. It could be micromanaging you. It could be icing you out—anything that could make a reasonable person feel dissuaded from bringing a complaint," said Siegel. "It doesn't have to be a termination or written suspension."

[peetarmelark]

so i havent made a life update in the longest fucking time. i used to make these constantly. idk. but i am going through my blog and my posts from last year. and i got super fucking emotional because i have come so damn far. like i didnt really say anything concrete about what happened. but damn. im so different

like i got cheated on repeatedly by my ex. left for someone else. abused. like just treated like a piece of shit (im not going to go into the specifics because honestly i cant be bothered)

my heart was so broken 

i lost all my friends. every single one. because of it

lost the job that i loved so much because it turned so toxic. so i was pretty much forced to leave

had no idea where i was going in life, my career path was literally destroyed 

my mental health was in the gutter. i was vomiting pretty much everyday from anxiety. i was so depressed. i spent hours just sitting on my bed. doing nothing. not touching my phone just looking at the wall

i stopped eating and lost almost 20kgs from anxiety and being in an abusive relationship 

i was gossiped about and fucking bullied at the workplace. and called disgusting things

i got fired so spectacularly from my first full time job. and when it did happen she insulted me so badly for 2 hours that i literally could sue and shut down the company it was so bad. also it was in front of my work colleagues. 

my dad got super sick and it was really bad. and it happened like 2 weeks after my breakup. it happened on a plane, and he had to go to hospital straight after. hes okay now. but yeah just alcohol and personality disorders. and just health stuff. it was super bad

like it was just rockbottom. and everything made me so sad and miserable. i just could not be happy

like man 2016 was fucking shit

but my life is completely different????

im exercising and getting super fit and losing weight in a healthy way. im eating super good food. and walking all the time. and going to gym classes and doing intense exercise routines

im going back to uni this year and im probably going to start studying psychology since i love people and helping people

i started an art business!!!!! which is still in the works but im so proud of it. and i have commissions and yeah its just amazing

i have amazing friends around me!! i have reconnected with old and also made new friends. im going out for drinks with the girls all the time. and going to movies. and just doing stupid fun stuff

im kinda super into someone??? and hes so lovely, and so so so so sooo attractive. and its nothing at all so far. but it could be something. and its very exciting. its the first kinda thing where im like yeah, i would want to date you and stuff. 

im doing a bartending course, and im going to be working in the city. and im so so so excited about this. 

my mental health is so good. im genuinely happy. not forced happy. like actually happy. and im starting to just feel like everything is okay 

im really over what happened in 2016. its in the past and i feel like im finally able to move on 

im doing way more things in the community now, like going to cycle glasses, going to different groups, starting volunteering, and art classes

and everyday things are making me happy. like im dancing in my undies to the new selena gomez song in the middle of the night on full blast. and im making my own lemonade just because. and im starting to get addicted to tv shows again, like riverdale and the walking dead. and im loving going for long walks on the beach track, and the sun is on my face with my gorgeous dog. 

my dad is moving up to sydney so ill be able to travel up there every few weeks and relax on the beaches and hang out with my extended family 

i might be traveling around europe in may which is soo exciting 

i know this is long. and way to personal, but last year was honestly so hard. but idk, i just want you to know that if your life does ever fall apart. in literally every single way possible, i promise you its going to be fine. and that rock bottom will be the best thing thats ever happened to you. you will grow into someone so strong and so amazing. also just a tip if you want to help change your life. start with yourself, and self care. do the things that make you happy and that you love to do. and love yourself. things slowly start to fall into place. im not there completely yet, but im on my way. 

trust me if i can do it. you can. just keep going 

#personal #this is a life update #thats way to personal #but it goes into what happened last year #and the shit show that was my life #it is really long #lol

[womenofcolor15]

Kevin Hart & Tyrese Defend Ellen DeGeneres Amid ‘Toxic Workplace’ Accusations + Former ‘ELLEN’ DJ Tony Okungbowa Admits He Felt ‘Toxicity’ On Set

Kevin Hart and Tyrese are speaking out to defend his friend Ellen DeGeneres after she was accused of creating a toxic work environment by several former employees. Just recently, former “ELLEN” show DJ Tony Okungbowa went on the record to say he felt the “toxicity” on the set. Oh wow. More inside…

Famed talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been accused of creating a “toxic work environment,” which has launched a storm of controversy.

Over the years, Ellen has seemingly been unproblematic. However, several people who have worked with the daytime talk show host claim she’s nothing like the bubbly personality she portrays on television. Apparently, it’s a totally different Ellen behind-the-scenes at the EMMY winning series.

One current and ten former employees of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” have anonymously come forward to expose what’s been going down on the set of the “ELLEN” show. The individuals spoke to Buzzfeed News last month on the condition of anonymity out of fear of retribution.

The former employees claim they were subjected to favoritism by executive producers, faced microaggressions and were fired after taking medical leave or bereavement days.

One former employee – a black woman – said she experienced racist comments from senior level producers.

A Black woman who used to work on The Ellen DeGeneres Show told BuzzFeed News she experienced racist comments, actions, and “microaggressions” during her year and a half as an employee. She said when she was hired, a senior-level producer told her and another Black employee, “Oh wow, you both have box braids; I hope we don’t get you confused.” And at a work party, she said, one of the main writers told her, “I’m sorry, I only know the names of the white people who work here,” and other coworkers “awkwardly laughed it off” instead of coming to her defense.

Another former employee said after taking a one-month medical leave following a suicide attempt, they returned to work and were told their position was being eliminated.

After working on The Ellen DeGeneres Show for nearly a year, one former employee said they took medical leave for one month to check into a mental health facility for a suicide attempt. But the week they returned to work, they were told their position was being eliminated.

“You'd think that if someone just tried to kill themselves, you don’t want to add any more stress to their lives,” the employee, whose story was corroborated by four other employees and medical records, told BuzzFeed News. “Some of the producers talk openly in public about addiction and mental health awareness, but they’re the reason there’s a stigma,” they said. “They definitely don’t practice what they preach with the ‘be kind’ mantra."

Some of the other employees said they were instructed by their direct managers to NOT speak to Ellen if they saw her around the office. No specific claims were made against Ellen – mainly these three executive producers who are in charge.

“People focus on rumors about how Ellen is mean and everything like that, but that's not the problem. The issue is these three executive producers running the show who are in charge of all these people [and] who make the culture and are putting out this feeling of bullying and being mean,” another former employee claimed. “They feel that everybody who works at The Ellen Show is lucky to work there — ‘So if you have a problem, you should leave because we’ll hire someone else because everybody wants to work here.’”

Executive producers Ed Glavin, Mary Connelly and Andy Lassner released a statement to E! News addressing the allegations, claiming they are taking them “very seriously.”

”We are truly heartbroken and sorry to learn that even one person in our production family has had a negative experience. It's not who we are and not who we strive to be, and not the mission Ellen has set for us,” the statement reads.

"For the record, the day to day responsibility of the Ellen show is completely on us," the statement read. "We take all of this very seriously and we realize, as many in the world are learning, that we need to do better, are committed to do better, and we will do better." 

The show is undergoing an internal investigation by WarnerMedia.

Several of Ellen’s celeb friends have come to her defense, including Katy Perry and Ashton Kutcher. Now, comedian Kevin Hart is coming to Ellen’s defense.

”It’s crazy to see my friend go thru what she’s going thru publicly. I have known Ellen for years and I can honestly say that she’s one of the dopest people on the f*cking planet,” Kevin wrote in an Instagram caption along with a picture of himself and Ellen on her show.

The Night School star said Ellen has always treated him and his family with love and kindness.

”She has treated my family and my team with love and respect from day 1,” he wrote.

Kev said he’s tired of how it seems the Internet preys on people’s downfall.

”The internet has become a crazy world of negativity....we are falling in love with peoples down fall. It’s honestly sad...When did we get here? I stand by the ones that I know and that I love,” he continued.

He concluded his message saying the post was not put up to disregard the feelings of others and their experiences. But, he felt it was important to share what his experiences with Ellen have been like.

”This post is not meant to disregard the feelings of others and their experiences....It’s simply to show what my experiences have been with my friend. Love you for life Ellen,” he wrote.

Check it:

        View this post on Instagram

                  It’s crazy to see my friend go thru what she’s going thru publicly. I have known Ellen for years and I can honestly say that she’s one of the dopest people on the fucking planet. She has treated my family and my team with love and respect from day 1. The internet has become a crazy world of negativity....we are falling in love with peoples down fall. It’s honestly sad...When did we get here? I stand by the ones that I know and that I love. Looking forward to the future where we get back to loving one another....this hate shit has to stop. Hopefully it goes out of style soon....This post is not meant to disregard the feelings of others and their experiences....It’s simply to show what my experiences have been with my friend. Love you for life Ellen...

A post shared by Kevin Hart (@kevinhart4real) on Aug 4, 2020 at 9:48am PDT

Kev also posted this: 

          View this post on Instagram

                  Kevin Hart addressed the critics who claim he’s publicly supporting Ellen during her career drama but was silent about his friend Nick Cannon’s recent career drama.

A post shared by TheYBF (@theybf_daily) on Aug 5, 2020 at 7:17am PDT

  Around the same time Kevin put up his post in defense of Ellen, one of the show’s former DJs shared what he experienced on the “ELLEN” show set.

Tony Okungbowa, the actor/DJ known as DJ Tony, is the first person to go on record about the alleged toxic work environment. He admitted he "did experience and feel the toxicity of the environment" during his tenure as the show's resident DJ.

"I have been getting calls asking me about the Ellen Degeneres Show and I would like to address the time I spent there. I was on air talent from 2003-2006 and from 2007 -2013," the “Bob Hearts Abishola” actor wrote. "While I am grateful for the opportunity it afforded me, I did experience and feel the toxicity of the environment and I stand with my former colleagues in their quest to create a healthier and more inclusive workplace as the show moves forward."

Peep the post below:

        View this post on Instagram

                  Hey Guys, I hope you are all keeping safe out there during these trying times. I have been getting calls asking me about the Ellen Degeneres Show and I would like to address the time I spent there. I was on air talent from 2003-2006 and from 2007 -2013. While I am grateful for the opportunity it afforded me, I did experience and feel the toxicity of the environment and I stand with my former colleagues in their quest to create a healthier and more inclusive workplace as the show moves forward.

A post shared by Tony okungbowa (@tokungbowa) on Aug 4, 2020 at 9:53am PDT

Today, singer/actor Tyrese took to his Insagram page to defend Ellen with a super lengthy post: 

          View this post on Instagram

                  Someone get this message to Ellen! Thanks! If I could call her on the phone I would say the words.. Elephants don’t swap flies.. They just keep walking... God made the feathers on a ducks back to somehow have the water to roll off and not penetrate... People in this town and fans will build you UP.... As they watch you climb ALL the way UP the ladder they will stand at the bottom of that same ladder and pull out there biggest GUN and shoot you in the ass over and over and over until you fall... You are MADE FOR THIS..... This too shall pass..... I’ve learned over the years that when things get uncomfortable it’s because GOD is preparing you for the NEW SEASON of your life.... He wants disloyal people to REVEAL THEMSELVES.... He wants people who have went above and beyond for over the YEARS who have no integrity to revel themselves... Ellen was JUST honored and praised for giving and giving and giving [ cause this is what she does constantly on her show and in real life ] and now this? Ellen if you see this message..... You are a GEM of a women and wife..... I am not one of the lucky ones who have hung with you 40 to 50 times over the years... But I know a kind hearted and giving person when I see one and you fit the bill....... Last time I seen you.. You were at the Soho house rooftop in Beverly Hills and I literally sat there and said “There is NO WAY I’m not gonna speak to and hug the great Ellen on the way out”.... And sure enough you stood up and hugged me and smiled and did that usual beautiful Ellen thing.... You will be just fine.... Every set back is a set UP for even more greater things to come..... You can call me anytime I’m not kind at all..... You stay kind, I will be your BAD GUY and fight your battles...... lol [ before y’all even attempt to come for me? Just know I don’t GAF for 1.... and 2? I’m just speaking facts about Ellen based on my own personal experiences and more importantly how I feel about her in general....... Ellen there’s not enough bad articles and or rumors and or bloggers in the WORLD that can undo the beauty that you’ve brought into our world........ Stay strong sis I’m here... #ForeverFan

A post shared by TYRESE (@tyrese) on Aug 5, 2020 at 8:05am PDT

  As of now, Ellen has yet to respond to the accusations publicly. It’s reported she apologized to her staff last week in a letter addressing workplace complaints. Ellen’s wife, Portia de Rossi, showed support of her wife on Instagram.

"To all our fans....we see you. Thank you for your support. #stopbotattacks,” she wrote.

It’s unclear what the #stopbotattacks hashtag is about.

Peep her post below:

        View this post on Instagram

                  To all our fans....we see you. Thank you for your support. #stopbotattacks . #IStandWithEllenDeGeneres #IStandByEllen ‪#IstandByEllenDeGeneres ‬ . . #ellendegeneres #ellen #theellenshow #ellenshow #bekindtooneanother

A post shared by Portia de Rossi (@portiaderossi) on Aug 3, 2020 at 10:03am PDT

"Ellen’s nice to guests and fans, but with her staff and employees, she has extremely high standards,” a source told US Weekly.

“They know that Ellen can be tough but accept that about her and know that it takes a lot of work to run a tight ship like her show,” another insider said. “They get it.”

  Photo: Tinseltown/ s_bukley/Shutterstock.com

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/08/05/kevin-hart-defends-ellen-degeneres-amid-%E2%80%98toxic-workplace%E2%80%99-accusations-former-%E2%80%98ellen%E2%80%99-dj-t

[infinitemelancholie]

April.23.2017

A couple of new developments in my life:

1. I can confidently state “Fuck everyone” because of the state I’m in and all that I went through and will probably continue to go through. I hate that I was sexually assaulted as child and that it’s after affects will probably be something I have to deal with now. I hate the people that lead me to believe that doing anything with men somehow made me less of a man, and just about anyone that has tried to force me into hyper masculine roles. Those people suck and fuck them. Fuck everyone who never lead me to believe it was possible to be bi. That really was unnecessary and uncalled for and just made being me even more difficult and I hate them for it. Fuck everyone that treats queer men as accessories or fetish or something because like the fuck is up with that? Fuck everyone that somehow thought it was cool that I was into one gender but if I wanted to know about the other or some other gender I’d have to talk to someone else. Because like how the fuck is that supposed to work and why the fuck do you think it’s ok to be supportive and helpful for something that doesn’t even fully encompass my sexuality? Fuck all straight women for being shitty towards gay and bi men. Like seriously? This is how you treat us? Fuck straight women that try to pretend I’m gay or something. Because that’s not how this works and you’re really a shiity person. Take down that rainbow facebook profile tint because you sure as shit aren’t an ally. Fuck anyone that’s aphobic on any level. Aces are literally the best thing to ever happen. The notion of now desiring sexual relations completely destroys current relationship discourses and makes being non monogamous much easier. And yeah I’m most definitely grey romantic so that’s a thing and I’m enjoying that because like I feel free at last to not have to worry about a number of issues I think. Fuck everyone that thinks being promiscuous makes you a misogynist or something because like honestly you can have millions of sex partners and yet still be completely respectful towards each and every one of them and treat them like they matter because they do matter to you and that’s how I’m basically living my life right now and honesty I gotta tell ya it’s the fucking tits. Like it’s actually a good thing for me and to me honestly. I feel like I’m able to express a kind of love to them without like having to form some kind of “committed” relationship with all the stalking, needless and endless insecurities and jealousy, restrictions  on who can be my friends, restrictions on sexual relations, restrictions on how I live my life, trying to reform or change me in any way shape or form, trying to dominate me in the sense of pulling shit like the silent treatment or threatening to end a relationship or any other toxic behavior that many monogamous esque people engage in. Honestly fuck anyone that’s normalized this toxic relationship monogamous culture we have. It’s only killing us. And fuck anyone who doesn’t let me have a say for my own needs or tries to make them into some kind of selfishness because it’s not. And fuck anyone that gets butthurt at being told no. If you can’t take no for an answer that’s definitely your problem and that’s definitely a sign I need to be as far away from you as I possibly can be. Fuck white people for being racist. Fuck my college professors for being fucking I don’t know cocky I guess is the word for it? Some of them come off as a little domineering or something along those lines and it’s weird. Also yeah I know I’m not doing all that great but like I have mental issues that aren’t entirely my fault so fuck off. 

2. This deserves its own space. Fuck misogyny and sexism. No seriously fuck that noise. Fuck the noise that made me super paranoid over talking to women or interacting with them on some level because of this irrational fear of like them being somehow unapproachable or whatever because of hotness rating on a 1 to 10 scale. Seriously the fuck’s up with that? Like “Oh I can’t talk to you because you’re out of my league”? Like fuck that bullshit. Its not healthy and honestly feeds this weird idea that women are somehow magically different and must be treat specially by men because they’re women. News flash they’re just people with literally the same problems as us but even worse if possible. Seriously women are without a doubt the must insecure people on the face of the earth. Oh and here’s some grade A dating advice: learn to be fluent in passive aggression. It’s every woman’s modus operandi no matter what. They’ll always try to do something to let you know but not really know what they want. Excessive giggling or laughter is probably a sign they’re into you. Mentions of what they like means “you better fucking take them there/do this for them at some point because they like this thing”. Like honestly women are probably the ones that make most of the decisions when it comes to these things. Men just follow along. Of course there’s those discrepancies where the man makes a decision and the woman goes along to keep him happy or something but still that does give power over to women because like it’s up to her keeping this dude happy when she doesn’t have to. Also this is helping me out a lot in unpacking my internalized biphobia because a) I’m realizing that I don’t need to sleep with massive amounts of women to reclaim my manhood b) sleeping with men is the literal tits and I fucking love it and it in no way impacts my gender etc c) I have no reason to feel that women have some weird sex power over me because like they’re just women. Literally there’s nothing special about them. They’re probably more afraid of me which I’m not ok with but kinda am because like I got nothing to fear on my part. Even if it doesn’t work out with one woman like it doesn’t matter. There are others for starters and also I’m fucking bisexual. Why should I obsess over the rejection of just one woman when there’s like other genders out there for me to be occupied or involved with. As far as I’m concerned a rejection is just a pass to continue being single and I’m honestly enjoying that. No giving up my shit to others. No having to cohabitate with someone. No having to shell out money for valentine’s day and stuff. None of that. I’m a free man and I can do with that what I want to do.

3. Sometimes I’m confused about my grey romanticism. There are people I meet that got me feeling some kind of way and I don’t know what to do about it. Like there’s this one girl I just met this quarter who seems like really cool and stuff but like I think I’m crushing on her or something. Maybe I’m just sexually into her? That seems more likely. I can live with that. I guess the question is trying to proceed from there in a way that won’t like make things weird for us. Maybe I should just be upfront about the whole grey romantic bisexual thing and be done with it. Fuck it here’s what I want. Yes I want to have sex with her all throughout campus or wherever because I think it’d be awesome and I think she’s got it going on. I’m not really into the prospects of being in a committed romantic relationship because that’s definitely not me but like a fwb or something would be dooooooooope. But like none of that feau fwb thing that people have. Like a queer platonic relationship kinda thing would be what I’d like. Yeah that’s what I want. A queer platonic relationship. A relationship where you’re not really a bf or gf but one where you’re more than friends still. You’re friends but like a different kind of friend. Not even a best friend. A friend where there’s intimacy and closeness but no real romantic connection present. A queer platonic relationship. That’s what I’ve been after this whole time. I’ve just settled on doing the whole romantic thing because like idk I guess it’s easier to do that or something. Like it’s easier to communicate that to potentials etc. Also this brings into mind this guy I met earlier this year who I swear I’ve developed a crush on but am now thinking it wasn’t quite a crush really. Perhaps that was what a squish is. Perhaps I’ve officially had my first squish without realizing it. Mmmm maybe not. Though it’s somewhere between the two I can at least admit that.

4. There’s a difference between doing what you want without worrying about what others think and being a deuche nozzle about it. Ie you can go about your life not really caring about others’ opinions but consequences do matter in some way or another. I haven’t fleshed out the details but a few examples

 -being involved in any way with someone in a workplace or even small college/college department/club/etc (partly why I’m a little off put by my feelings towards this girl and even guy) has consequences for both myself and them. If things go to shit like everyone will be up in our business about it. Like they’d know. Plus we’d have to see one another a lot and let’s be honesty PTSD me probably won’t be able to handle that well. Plus I’m sure it’d just make them hate me more. And we’d be sharing friends so group studying becomes awkward etc

I was going to say something about casual sex and feelings developed from that but like honestly I’m not the one responsible for making someone feel or think that I’m in love with them because of how we have sex together or how they feel about having sex with me. Although it’s pretty shitty when like the other person like wants to have sex with you but like becomes weird about it afterwards for lord knows what reason. Anyways moral of the story it’s not my problem nor is it my job and I’m ok with that