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absolutebl · 9 months

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Wedding Plan Trash Watch!

You ready to snuffle-kiss the burn?

Before I start...

Find out about Mame and the Mameverse here.

Find my other trash watches of her and others here.

We all know what we are getting in for, 7 episodes of BLduggery. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.

Episode 1 - In which I craft an ode to Dumpster Fires Everywhere

I am sorry, but they opened with Battle Hymn of the Republic for PrapaiSky’s wedding? I busted out laughing.

Also, you KNOW I can’t just let that go.

Ready?

LET’S SING! (Bet you’d never thought I’d type those words).

Battle Hymn of BL Tumblr

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the trash This is barely even BL it’s just Mame writing slash She hath set ablaze such garbage in pursuit of all our cash But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Mame hit us with a sewer. Spoiling all our fun, Oh the shit storm has begun, But the trash watch must go on!

I have seen the dumpster-fires of a hundred BL tropes She will sacrifice her ukes ’til they’ve lost all of their hopes We will watch in righteous anger while the refuse burns and smokes But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Life’s rough for a BL reviewer. When OG BL fans run afoul of Mame stans But the trash watch must go on!

Buh buh buh buh!

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here for the next 7 weeks. Yes some of my rhyming conventions are awkward af but I never claimed to be a filker. Now where was I?

Oh YES,

STILL AT THE VERY BEGINNING.

Where have I seen this seme before? Oh! Top Secret Together.

Micky D sponsorship? Nice. I’m impressed.

Too many sound effects, abort! Is that the sound tech from Lovely Writer I sniff? Someone please fire his ass. Yes, it must be him. Only a straight dude misuses buttons like that.

I feel Nuea’s pain I too hate the gym.

This better not be in one of those situations where after instalove our seme arranges for the wedding planner boy he likes to plan his own wedding so that he can marry him at the end.

Lots of pronouns going astray in that sentence, but you get my meaning.

Drag baby around. Locker room. Kabeldon

Honestly? And this is not usually a criticism I lob at Mame ( I know is there anything I have lobbed at her?) but the leads seem a bit stiff and uninspired.

It is just me?

Episode 2 - What’s this? Oh is that boredom?

What are these boys in these office BLs doing behind their desks on those computers? They never actually seem to be working at all. They’re like brochure stock art ads for boys on computers.

I had to skip most of the humiliating stuff with the food in the car and whatever was going on because… aargh.

They keep ordering food in this episode of nobody’s eating it. And it looks really good and I’m hungry and this is very upsetting to me.

Lom is just totally jerking Nuea around. Just tell him what your relationship is with the bride.

There’s no need to be so fucking coy about it.

I love the flaming yelling fit from Nuea tho.

It was also a good kiss.

But that’s what we expect from a Mame.

Mame giveth and mame taketh away.

Somewhat dull episode frankly. Even with the kiss.

Sigh. What have I become?

Episode 3 - WHAT IS THIS? There is nothing about this episode that pleased me even a tiny bit. Except Noel’s hair. But that wasn’t part of the script.

Buckle up, I got A LOT to say.

It’s a pleasure to welcome you back to your normal and expected ABL meets Mame interface where... ABL LOSES THEIR TINY MIND.

Right on schedule it feels like.

Ready?

Oh who am I kidding, you sadists life for this shizz. And you can’t tell me you don’t.

Lom is so frustrating.

I wanna punch him too. Sing it, sister!

Random water sports. (And not of the kind one might expect from Mame. Stop it. You know she would go there. She’d think it was edgy.)

Peeps!

We need a name for when a BL reviews itself.

It keeps happening.

Should you tell him everything?

Yes.

1000 times yes.

I’m basically screaming it at the screen.

TELL HIM!!!!

You tricked him into a date without telling him a single thing about what’s actually going on. Are you insane?

What the hell.

You keep kissing him but he is planning your wedding. How fucked up are you? You monster

A Mame show calling out its own exploitive sexism is so fucking awkward.

Mame. Sweetheart. Snookums. Sugarbeans. Shaken-baccon. You don’t have enough fucking talent to go meta. Leave it to the better BLs to follow trends. Your shizz is old fashioned and that’s why people like it. Don’t try to be classy, it makes this whole shit show just look even more shabby.

Poor baby.

Now he’s doubting himself completely.

What are these assholes doing to you?

Come with me.

I’m going to transport you to this other terrible BL trash watch happening right now, where there is a LOVELY adorable boy named Max and I think you would be perfect together.

So it’s basically just Narnia-level closet cases we are dealing with here?

THAT’S IT?

THAT’S THE EXCUSE FOR THIS LEVEL OF MANIPULATION?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

Nuea is such a cutie.

I want to punch Lom all over again.

Noel looks v pretty as a blond.

The proposal sequence was unnecessary. But at least I don’t wanna punch anyone.

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE for lying. For manipulation. For not understanding how you’re betraying another person’s faith in himself.

Especially not if you’re in the position of power: social, cultural, employer.

Why doesn’t Mame EVER understand this?

You can’t have a character that is sincere and earnest in love and yet entirely lacking in all forms of integrity.

This is driving me crazy.

No one is in the show is as crazy as this show is making me.

I started this episode wanting to punch Lom, and I’m ending this episode wanting to punch Lom.

That’s a mame plot for ya.

No character development at all, on any side of the screen.

And someone, mostly me, is always left with a mad desire to punch something.

Frankly, I kinda want to punch the screen.

Episode 4 - I Am Going to Start Drinking

I like consent especially when “no” is activated. But this being Mame she shoe horns it in and then the seme ignores it.

It’s so awkward. She’s actually incapable of making any non-problematic tropes sexy. It’s like there is only one lane for her shows and that lane is...

the WORST

My “Punch Lom in the face 2023” campaign continues.

I don’t see how he can ever become a sympathetic character. He just trundles along lying by omission (when speaking up would make everything better). I hate him.

I’m glad we get to see Nuea suffering, now show Lom what he has done and make him lose the boy.

No? No.

Instead Lom gets rewarded with sex for being a sleazy lying gutless jerk? Well terds to both you fine gentlemen.

I mean, very gay of you, Nuea sweetie.

“Because just SOOOO hot” being the #1 excuse in my personal “I slept with WHAT?” experience. (Heh, to be fair I’m often the WHAT? in that equation. I live to be someone’s bad mistake... just not Lom-level-bad.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Gaga has the sex scene. FYI. Came outta nowhere, that sex scene did. Very disjointed... not that kind of joint. Not that kind either.

It’s not a particularly impressive sex scene, which is disappointing. Because WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE WATCHING?

I mean, if you’re going to have your characters (and by extension us) forfeit all integrity and taste in order to watch your stupid show, the least you could do is give us decent chemistry.

I’m not saying this is worse than LITA but at least LITA was hot.

It wasn’t anything else. But it was hot.

This this is

not hot.

In conclusion: if Nuea’s baby bro doesnt’t punch Lom in the face next week I will have to start drinking on Weds...

oh wait!

BMF ends this Friday! I can switch to drinking mid week!

YES

(I have a new rule: only one BL a week is allowed to drive me to drink in any give rotation.)

Imma preemptively point out that I am aware that bearding and lavender marriages are still quite common all over the world. I would whole heartedly support a good depiction of it. (Even one where it stays fix in the beard position.) This is NOT a good depiction.

I shall draw your attention to 2017′s rarely discussed (not really BL) We Are Gamily out of... you guessed it... Taiwan. You can argue with me about this only AFTER you have watched that.

Okay, back to the trash watch.

Episode 5 - I Neglected to Drink and that was a Mistake

Ate a lot of crap traveling home today (feel gross) + tumblr new desktop UX has me pissed + Mame & alcohol? I’m not sure I’d survive. So no alcohol.

Here we go.

Poor Nuea feels so guilty.

Please save me from ever feeling that way after sex. *shudder*

Before you ask, to the best of my knowledge, I have never slept with a married person. I’ve slept with married people... married to each other mind you... but I hope that makes it clear everyone was consensual. (I recommend it, by the way. Being a unicorn is lots of fun.)

Where was i?

We were dealing with punching Lom not my misspent youth.

(looks at calendar. wait, that was last month.)

PUNCH LOM 2023!

Queen!

I love her.

It wasn’t a physical punch but a verbal one is almost as good. (And can be more damaging in the long run.)

Could we please still have an actual punch?

Pretty please?

Mame punches her characters all the time. And no character ever deserved a punching more than Lom.

I do wish there was a nice boy back home to scoop Nuea up.

That line of boys wanting him, could we see it, not be told it?

I do like the random sinshine hyung side couple.

Omg. COLD MICKY D?!

That might just be the most objectionable moment in this whole show.

And that’s a tall order.

Pun intended.

(straight, HA! pun not intended but still very much THERE)

Was I pleased we got multiple characters who are just outright gay? Yes.

But representation has not been one of Mame’s issues.

I mean Tharn was one of the first openly gay seme leads in a Thai BL, and she also had rep for lube and condoms in that show. That’s not the issue with TharnType. Or Mame.

Her issues tend to revolve around story structure and audience manipulation.

Was I pleased that Nuea knew what was going on? Yes, I’m glad he’s not totally clueless.

I still want Lom to be punched in the face and I’m still mad at this show.

Episode 6 - Too hot to drink, still a Mistake

I finally figured out my real problem with Lom. It’s not that he was closeted and manipulative without good reason (although he is). It’s not that he lied and strung Nuea along for a lot longer than was necessary (because he did). It is that he basically does everything for himself and his own ends. Even when he’s confessing his love it comes off as flat because it isn’t about Nuea and what Nuea wants or needs, it’s about Lom wants.

Hanging a lampshade on it doesn’t make it right.

It was good bridge kiss. And car kiss. And sex kisses.

There is something corrupted grunge romantic asking the person you love most in the world to hide that love and climb back into the closet with you for the sake of your nasty arse family (is that a queer taboo, hum). I’m not saying lavender marriages are necessarily wrong, I’m just saying it’s an interesting plot twist in a BL.

I think we HAVE to hold this up and examine it in stark contrast to the final ep of Bad Buddy. It’s interesting how the closet retreat didn’t bother me at all in BB, and I thought it was quite a clever and elegant ending twist. Whereas here it’s just annoying. It’s not making me as angry as it probably should. But it is annoying as a narrative conceit and denouement.

Can I ask a question.

It’s not a serious question, of course.

What is up with all of the shows this year having dates on lakes featuring that thing where you ride a funny little floaty-boat while being dragged behind a fast boat. I’m sure it has a name, but I could not care less. New sponsor?

The sex scene was fine. But I have to say, I wish they had leaned into the fact that Lom is a virgin and Nuea has more experience. It would’ve been a really interesting dynamic to see honestly represented on screen.

In conclusion, Nuea is a saint and next week everything comes to a head that didn’t already get head this episode.

Episode 7 - Finally I’m drinking!

I am having a tiki beverage this evening to round out this show. Coconut rum and mango popping Boba are involved. Don’t judge. I have the alcohol palate of a 7 year old.

I’m ready! Let’s shave this beard!

And, well, that was a pink saturated drama of the mothers in law. Enjoyable lakorn style scenery chewing. The ladies seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Lom pretending to be sad and pitiful. Also funny.

Using his evil against his mom is acceptable. Suddenly his manipulative lying ways are working in the right direction.

Honestly?

This was a fine ending, I’m not mad at it.

They managed to keep Lom in character until the end, he remained deceitful. I would never trust him, but clearly Nuea is willing to ride that dragon.

I guess 7/10?

If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

But, frankly? Lom as a character would sit better amongst the drama bananas of Only Friends.

In summation:

A lackluster Mame offering with less of her usual stellar chemistry, but all of her usual manipulation. An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursues him, even though he’s about to marry someone else.

(source)

#The Wedding Plan #wedding plan the series #Thai BL #ABL trash watches BL #trash watches #trash watching mame #save me from myself #trash watch #thai drama #thaibl #save me from mame #can't stope the trash watch

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