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snow-in-the-desert · 3 years

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Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay.

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it.

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all.

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level.

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee.

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon.

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic.

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft.

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look.

The Erised Effect by @adaprix

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better.

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath.

Clean by @olivieblake

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it.

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending!

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione.

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell. But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright.

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel.

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes.

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot.

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one.

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe.

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored.

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for.

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review.

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer.

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online.

#This post is the online equivalent of me thrusting a pile of books into your hands and poking at you until you every single one #A behaviour I may or may not already be prone to #dramione #fanfiction #fanfic recommendations #I think I may have missed a few but I think I'll try to make a habit of gushing over new writers as I find them #Doing this just satisfies a deep inner urge in me to just compliment the everloving shit out of writers #who made my life a little more bearable with their words

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ejzah · 3 years

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I love your latest ficlet with the temp agent flirting with Deeks! Could you do one similar one but where she doesn't know Kensi is his wife or pregnant, just knows the agent she's replacing is on medical leave and that Deeks' wife is pregnant? Maybe this time she's more persistent? Bonus if Talia is involved and is the one to tell the other agent to back off and tells her all about Kensi 😊

A/N: I’m reusing the name from the other fic here because I’m terrible at creating and naming characters.

***

Indecent Proposal

“Alright Agent Bertram, you can go with Talia to check out the warehouse,” Callen said, gesturing to Agent Helena Bertram. She was halfway through a 2 months stint with the team as part of a new pilot program to increase interagency cooperation.

Talia was also convering Kensi’s maternity leave. Usually she ended up partnering with Deeks, which was actually not that bad. Though he would never admit it to Talia. They generally got along well despite her frequent inappropriate comments and jokes and she was extremely efficient.

“Deeks, you go talk to the victim’s wife.”

“Actually, would you mind if I go with Agent Deeks this time?” Agent Bertram asked. “I haven’t had much practice with interviews and I think it would be a useful learning opportunity.”

If Callen seemed bothered that she’d objected to his directions, he didn’t show it.

“Sure, that’s fine,” he agreed. “You ok with going to the warehouse, Talia?”

“Oh, I can definitely handle it,” she said, an undertone in her voice. Helena joined Deeks as they filed out of OPS, staying in step with him the entire way down the stairs.

“So, I heard you studied law before you became an agent,” she said, her arm brushing against his slightly. He moved to the side, giving her a little more room and nodded.

“I did. I was a public defender for a couple years before I became a cop and eventually ended up with NCIS,” he told her, heading to his desk to grab his badge and weapon. She leaned against his desk, making herself comfortable while he got ready.

“That’s pretty amazing. Maybe you can-”

“Have you heard from Kensi today?” Talia interrupted, somehow finding room on the desk next to Helena.

“Yeah, she’s doing great. The baby is moving like crazy and today she’s putting a cube shelf together. I told her I’d do it when we get home, but you know how she gets.”

“Oh, I know,” Talia agreed with a little laugh.

“It sounds like she’s a little bit controlling,” Helena commented, drawing a frown from Talia. Deeks was kind of surprised Helena had come to that conclusion, especially since she’d never even met Kensi, but figure he’d probably given the wrong impression somehow.

“Only in the best way,” he said, winking at Talia, who leaned towards Helena in a way that was both flirtatious and intimidating.

“She’s pretty fantastic.” Rather than looking uncomfortable as Deeks expected, Helena just smiled and said,

“Well, she must be if she found a guy like Deeks.”

***

“So when we question Mrs. Cisewski, you want to make sure you don’t sound accusatory. Unless you have a good reason to suspect that she’s being dishonest or holding something back. You never want to alienate a witness when you don’t have to,” Deeks explained to Helena as he drove.

“I know, Deeks,” Helena said, her voice sounding almost playful. He glanced at her for a second and saw that she was smirking at him. “I’ve participated in many interviews and interrogations. Maybe not quite as many as you, with your silver tongue, but enough to know my way around.”

“Then why did you ask to come with me?”

“Because I wanted to have you to myself for a little bit. You’re always rushing off with Agent Del Campo or the guys and I feel like I never see you.”

“Well, all you have to do is look across the bullpen,” Deeks joked, trying to ease the uncomfortable tension he suddenly felt. The truck felt too small and Agent Bertram way too close. Especially when she leaned across the console.

“I think you know what I mean,” Helena told him, actually sliding her hand down his arm. He pulled away, avoiding her finger as she attempted to link them together. “I have an empty apartment and a bottle of margarita mix that are all yours. You just have to make the move.”

“I, uh, appreciate the offer, but you know I’m married. With a baby on the way.

“Oh please, Marty, I see how you flirt with Talia. You guys clearly have something going.” She laughed, the sound dismissive and derisive. “And based on the way you talk about your wife, she’s kind of a nightmare. I’d think you’d want any opportunity to escape that.”

“First of all, I happen to love my wife very much. Secondly, Talia’s just a friend,” Deeks said. “That’s how she acts with everyone.

“You keep telling yourself that.” She squeezed his arm, ignoring his attempt to shift out of the way and added, “Just remember that the offer stands for as long as I’m here. And since it sounds like your former partner is going be out for a while on medical leave, I might be around even longer.”

***

A/N: Yes, there will be a part 2. Thanks for the prompt!

#ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #mentions of Kensi #densi #Talia del campo #ejzah fanfiction

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parker417k · 3 years

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Alex Rider Fanfic Ideas

Time Travel Ideas-

Here are some time travel fanfic ideas about Alex Rider. Just so you know, most of these are taken directly from my notes and were written at 4am:

1. Alex and Tom die and get sent back in time. (Jack is either dead or not dead, it depends) and try to save the people that died. They also troll everyone. (Crack fic or serious fic or both)

2. Fic where Alex and Yassen somehow end up becoming like father and son and then either die and then get sent back in time or just get sent back in time. (They go back to before Yassen kills Ian so Yassen doesn’t kill him this time) Then, they make everyone confused with how they have a father-son relationship. (Don’t know how they became like father and son lol, you can write it cuz I have no idea how to write that much of a shift in a relationship; ~ I am referring to the fact that they tried to kill each other and also that Yassen killed Ian)

Mostly Reaction Fic Ideas:

1. A fanfic about the show (only about the show; not about the books) where Alex’s classmates find out he is a spy. (I know there are fanfics about this but they are all based off of the both and I want the people in the show to find out.) They can find out in any way but here are some examples: Someone or multiple people that are evil show up at Alex’s school trying to kill him, there is a school shooting not involving Alex but he takes the person/people down anyway, Yassen shows up at his school (I know he was only in the books but you can just create some kind of thing where they met, idk? Maybe just base only certain things off the book?), MI6 shows up at his school, etc.

2. A fanfic where people find out Alex is good friends with Joe (Joe Byrne: the head of the CIA). The people that find out can be FBI agents or maybe if you do a crossover fic you could add this in, idk.

3. Scorpia or other bad people come Alex’s school to kill him. Yassen shows up out of nowhere and him and Alex beat up all of the bad guys. (Father-son relationship ;idk what I’m talking about) I’ve seen other fics with a similar plot line, so you can’t judge me.

Crossover Fic Ideas:

This one is taken directly from my notes so it is a little less organized— Alex Rider is finally done working for MI6 and creates/haves someone create a new identity. He then goes to college with this identity (him and Tom go to the same college; there are no fics where they still have communication after Alex tries to move on from the spy life and it annoys me cuz they are besties for life. Period.) and eventually ends up working at (NCIS, whatever the place is called in Castle, or some other agency; is a crossover fic so one that is from another show). *Could also possibly have Tom working with him; not out on the field tho, he would have a behind the scenes job, maybe Alex would too, either that or an agent or something* Eventually after (however long he has been working there for; can be months or years) a case involving something in his past (Scorpia or other organizations or people he has dealt with) leads to his identity being revealed. The others (depends what crossover it is) have to deal with the knowledge of his identity and come to terms with it and stuff. [Here are some of the shows I’ve thought of for crossover fics; some of these I’ve seen crossovers for on Fanfiction.net so yeah— Castle, NCIS, Avengers, Spider-Man (the Tom Holland Movies, just to be clear), Criminal Minds, Hawaii Five-0, The Walking Dead (I know this one’s weird, but for some reason I liked the idea of them knowing him because they’re stuck together after the whole zombie thing but not realizing what he is really capable of, and eventually learning about what he has been through. Also, I would have this fic set in the earlier seasons, I saw one set in season 1 that I actually thought would’ve been pretty good if the writer had continued writing it), MacGyver, etc. Also, I read one that was a Pitch Perfect crossover and for some reason loved it, it was kind of weird but 🤷‍♀️]

(Please comment if you want to write any of these).

#alex rider #yassen gregorovich #tom (can’t remember his last name rn)#Jack (can’t remember her last name rn either)#time travel #reveals #spy reveal #identity reveal

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duskdragon39 · 4 years

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Long Podfic Recs

I keep promising myself that I’m going to go back and pay tribute to some of the amazing podficcers and writers out there by compiling my favorites into a rec list and then forgetting about it

But also my life is going to go insane in about a week so we’re doing this now xD The order that these are in is roughly the order that I found them on my phone, and are... from a variety of fandoms. I have more (and shorter podfics), this post was just getting long.

I tried to tag authors/podficcers whose tumblrs I know- if you don’t want to be on this list or if I got the wrong person, my apologies. lmk and I’ll update it. Times are in hours:minutes. 1. create / detonate - written by pprfaith, read by @reena-jenkins

Fandom: MCU

Summary: In a world where Natasha Stark still dreams of fire and blood, the Winter Soldier wakes ahead of schedule and nothing happens the way it was meant to.

(People don’t have a purpose.)

Length: 9-ish hours ((Listen, I will and have listened to absolutely anything and everything these two have done together. I do not care. This story has made me laugh, made me cry, and is on the “must listen to at least once a year” list. We have female Tony Stark, Stark absolutely being on Shield’s shitlist and being badass while doing so, Natasha Romanov being a triple agent (and also badass), and it’s just good. Reena does all of the character voices so well, and the emotion and humor will at times make you laugh out loud and at times want to give everyone in this a hug. Do mind the tags if you decide to give it a go.))

2. Don’t You Forget About Me - written by @robininthelabyrinth, read by @litrapod

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow

Summary: After Len, nothing seems to be going right for Mick. He keeps going listlessly -

- at least until something cold as death starts crawling into his bed.

(In which Mick Rory braves the Sidhe to win back his True Love)

Length: 01:05

((I am weak for mythology/folklore AUs, and this one is just so well done. The characterization, the bargaining with the Morrigan, a fix-it fic for Len’s death- Litra’s reading is also amazing. The way they do character voices and incorporate that character voice into their narration never fails to amaze me, and I love it.))

[Others under read more because this is getting long]

3. Sailor’s Sorrow - written by @robininthelabyrinth, read by @litrapod

Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow

Summary: Sailors tell the same tales everywhere you go. Sometimes, they tell you how to bring someone home. (an Orpheus and Eurydice retelling - and a bit more besides)

Length: 01:13

((Other things I am weak for: Orpheus and Eurydice. I am in love with this for all the reasons I loved Don’t You Forget About Me, except moreso. Have probably listened to this over ten times now, still not tired of it. Has the dubious honor of being the podfic that helped get me through an eight hour plane flight. Also may or may not have dubious fan art plans for the opening lines.))

4. those who were faithful, and those who betrayed them, those who did nothing, and those who defied - written by tigriswolf, read by tinypinkmouse Fandom: MCU / White Collar / Inception/ James Bond / Sherlock / NCIS / The Magnificent Seven / Norse Mythology / Native American/First Nations Mythology / African Diasporic Mythology Summary: On my laptop, this lives as Loki’s kids megacrossover of doom. So, yeah. 12000+ words of healing and planning for vengeance. It was fun. Length: 2:16 ((Things I am incredibly grateful exist: this story and its podfic. Somehow everyone is Loki’s kid and it works, and I’m not going to question how it works because I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of magic. Tinypinkmouse also does an excellent job with the podfic- both reading and editing. Their voice is both strangely relaxing and really engaging, and their reading draws you into the story and doesn’t let you go. Also kudos to them for the pronunciation of all the names. Seriously. All of them.))

5. Eschaton - written by @robininthelabyrinth, read by @annapods

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Summary: Sure, it's the end of the world, but that just means someone's got to fix it.

And then the world found its somebodies.

(aka, with Noctis gone into the Crystal and no one sure when he'll be back, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto end up saving the world one piece at a time)

Length: 7-ish hours

((Listen. I have never played this game. I have no idea who any of these people are. Somehow Nirejseki managed to pull me into this world despite that- it’s 60k words of worldbuilding and rebuilding post-apocalypse, and it’s so fricken hopeful and I love it. Annapods’ reading of this is also excellent - their voice now narrates this story and Nirejseki’s other ffxv fics for me. Their reading also made it so much easier for me to absorb all the details of this fic- 10/10 would recommend listening.))

6. The Firebird - written by @robininthelabyrinth, read by @litrapod Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow / The Flash Summary: Barry, prince of Central City, never seems to be able to make it anywhere on time, but he seems to have found himself on a magical quest – and he’s going to meet some very interesting people on his way, not least being a mysterious thief and a magnificent firebird. Length: 11:03 ((Speaking of fairy tale AUs. Nirejseju always does such a good job of writing these types of AUs and this is no exception. It’s an adventurer story that’s- at least in part- fueled by romance, and it is so very, very good. Litra’s character voices are always on point, often to the point that I don’t actually remember that it’s one person reading both parts (*eyes their Mick and Len voices*). That they incorporate character voices into narration once again never fails to amaze me.))

#podfic recs #podfic #my only authority is the 2-odd weeks of podfic I have on my phone #there are so many excellent creators and I don't comment on enough of their works #so this is a step towards rectifying that and a reminder that I need to go through and yknow #comment #long post #tumblr where the hell did you hide the read more button

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summahsunlight · 4 years

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The First Step

Word Count: 3320

Characters: Tim McGee, Tony DiNozzo, others mentioned

Summary: Sometimes we just need a friend to help us get back on our feet. Tony and McGee friendship fic.

A/N: This was the first ever NCIS fic I wrote. Originally posted on FF (which I’m slowly moving away from to AO3). Link to the AO3 story is posted below. As I post more NCIS stories, I will create a master list. Enjoy!

AO3

Timothy McGee could not believe he was about to do this, but he steeled himself and banged on his partner's door—loudly.

It had been four days since anyone had spoken to Tony DiNozzo. He was ignoring cell phone calls, landline calls and emails. Effectively the federal agent had shut himself up in his apartment and off from the world. Abby was in tears most of the time, Gibbs snarled at McGee at every opportunity he got. The poor green agent that had been assigned to the now empty desk had only lasted a day before she ran from the building in hysterics herself.

Everything had fallen apart four days ago. And he wasn't even embellishing like Tony. Ziva's abrupt departure had thrown them all into a topsy-turvy, spiral, where some of them were fairing better than others.

"Come on, DiNozzo, I know you're in there!" Tim hissed. "Abby traced your cell."

Slowly the door to the apartment opened and all fight left Tim as a hallow look peered back at him from heavy lidded hazel eyes. It appeared Tony had not shaved—or showered for the matter—in a week. An unkempt beard covered his face, his skin, which usually had a healthy tan to it, was a gray pallor, and his breath reeked of stale beer and whiskey. "Tony?" He gasped, pale green eyes widening. "What the hell?"

"Oh, nice to see you too, McGee" Tony snapped but there was no bite behind it.

Tim realized he was looking at a man that was defeated. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen Tony quite like this. Not even after the break-up with Jeanne had the man gone on what was most appropriately deemed a bender. Tony was warped into a man that Tim didn't even know anymore. "Listen, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. But your appearance…it's not what I'm used too and we've been worried about you since we got the news that Ziva was leaving. Ducky said you needed your space. But Abby wanted to storm the gates—this was the compromise."

Tony grunted a response and threw open the door, allowing Tim access to his domain. The usually neat and orderly apartment was in disarray. Dirty clothes were tossed everywhere, pizza boxes towered on the dining room table, and beer bottles accented as many empty surfaces as possible. Ironically the only thing that could be considered clean was the goldfish bowl. Kate the goldfish happily swam around her bowl, in pristine water, and Tim realized that there was a sliver of hope that deep down Tony was still Tony—he still cared about something.

For a moment Tim watched as Tony plopped back down onto his sofa, eyes focused on the screen on some movie that the younger man had no idea about. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels on the coffee table and he winced at the implications of that. His partner had moved on from beer to the heavy stuff. He supposed that all men had a breaking point—he just never believed Tony DiNozzo was amongst them. Abby had once said that he was a solid rock. It took a lot to chip him and everything just rolled off of him and he kept going.

But was that a fair description? Tony was, despite the juvenile nature, very complex.

"So, um, Abby and I were wondering if you'd meet us for drinks later," Tim ventured.

Tony reached for his bottle of whiskey and took a swig. "Got plenty of drinks here."

Tim winced. That had been a dumb question. It was obvious that Tony had been drinking since he'd come back from tracking down Ziva. He knew it was none of his business but he desperately wanted to know what she had said to Tony to shove him on this self-destructive path. "We can do pizza and a movie. Or Chinese. It's been awhile since we all hung out. And I think…I think we all need it."

His partner shrugged his shoulders. "Don't feel like hanging out, Probie. You and Abby go and have a great time though. Suppose she's upset."

"Well, yeah, I mean she had to deal with us all resigning and we're not exactly coming back whole, are we?"

"Nope. We're not."

"Listen, if you need to talk about it."

Tony glared at him and Tim backed down. There was a dangerous look in the senior field agent's eyes and Tim was not in the mood to explore it. After all, Abby had requested that he get Tony to come out of his apartment for a few hours, not make matters worse.

Tim looked around the room, listening to the old movie playing in the background. "We can go bowling. Sister Rosita and the nuns bowl tonight. They'd love to have us."

"Sorry, but no thanks. My back hurts."

"Come on, are you going to hole yourself up here for the rest of your life?" Tim sputtered. "It's not the first time changes to our team have been made. You once told me that you suffered through a rotation of agents and then as a two-man team with Gibbs before Kate joined. We'll get through this. It's not reason to drink. We survived Kate's death, we can survive this, Tony."

"This is different," Tony mumbled.

"Of course it's different. It's better, right? I mean, Ziva isn't dead. It's not like she can't come back and visit us."

"She won't."

He was a little tongued tied. "You psychic now?"

Tony shook his head, another swallow of whiskey. "Nope. She made it clear that she needed a clean break. If she comes back, it won't be any time soon. Tell Abby she can stop emailing and begging Ziva."

"How...never mind, it's not important that you knew this," Tim said, putting his hands up in surrender. "What's important is that we get you out of this apartment and...and functioning again."

"Saying I'm dysfunctional McGee?"

Tim's mouth hung open for a moment. "Well! Look at you!" he gestured to Tony's bum like appearance. He really didn't know what else to say. It was the last card he could possibly think to play at this point.

Tony quirked an eyebrow and swirled the amber liquid around in the Jack Daniels bottle. "Guess I have let myself go."

"You guess?"

"Alright I have. Just a little."

"Just a little?" Tim spat, the pitch of his voice raising. God, I need a mirror so he can see.

His partner didn't offer any counter argument to that and leaned back into the cushions, watching the movie on his plasma television screen. He was really starting to worry Tim. Had Tony been this messed up after Kate died? Tim couldn't recall but at the time he was still fairly new to NCIS and had easily accepted whatever Tony told him. He should have known that Tony did not cope with Kate's death by eating junk food. Tim rubbed his temple for a moment. "Come on, Tony. You need to get out. Hiding away here isn't doing you any good."

Tony threw his head back and took another long swig of the whiskey. Wiping his mouth clean of the alcohol with his sleeve, he narrowed his eyes at Tim. "I know what I need—to be left alone. I'm not going to bounce back like you or Abby or Jimmy. I'm not going to let this roll off my shoulder like Gibbs or Ducky. Because it's different this time. This isn't just a partner leaving. She meant more to me than a partner, than a friend. And forgive me, if I feel like drowning my sorrows in alcohol and old movies."

Suddenly the gravity of his words hit Tim full bore in the chest. He saw the pain, the betrayal and the longing in his partner's eyes. He'd been turning a blind eye now for years. Sure, he'd always known that Tony and Ziva's relationship was different, he just didn't think-or refused to believe-Tony had actually fallen in love with her. Lord does he have a way of falling in love with the wrong woman, Tim thought as he found the easy chair and sat down. "She was Mossad, Tony. You didn't actually think…it was every going to work out in the end, did you?"

"Not when she was officially with Mossad, no," Tony muttered, closing his eyes tightly, "but she left them, to join us because…foolishly I thought it was because she wanted to start anew."

"And you thought, someday, it would work."

"Yeah. Should have known it wasn't going to end any other way. Once Mossad, always Mossad, eh?" Tony spat, bitterly. Another swig of whiskey. "Just another notch on my stupid things I've done belt."

Tim shook his head. "It wasn't stupid, Tony. We can't always control who we fall in love with."

Tony peered at him, thoughtfully. "Look at you, McRomeo. I take it that fair Delilah is treating you well."

"Don't change the subject—this is about you," Tim admonished him. "And besides, you'll bounce back—you always do."

"No, I don't just bounce back. I'm not a rubber ball."

"I don't understand."

Slowly Tony let out a breath, and looked right at Tim. "After Wendy left, I didn't eat for weeks. Gibbs almost literally had to shove food down my throat, pick me up and dust me off," Tony mused. "It was years before I actually went on a date again. Just around the time we met you I think. Oh, don't look that surprised. You've known for a while now that most of the time the women are just apart of the act."

Tim had to admit there were times he was certain that Tony's stories of his dates and his little black book were just that—stories. But hearing first hand affirmation of that shocked him. "And after Jeanne?"

Tony shrugged. "Pretty much the same, except for Gibbs picking me up and dusting me off. I kept the pain private, made it look like that I really had been acting and that I never did love her. Truth was, I loved her—a lot. If we had met under different circumstances, say, where she knew the real me, I might have ended up making a life with her."

"EJ?"

"It hurt that she didn't trust me. Ran from me all the time. But I couldn't let people see how much it hurt. Have a reputation to maintain after all, McGee."

"Tony…why didn't you…God, we would have helped you."

Silence fell between them for a moment, before the SFA put the bottle of whiskey down and looked at his partner, sternly. "You already don't think very highly of me, McGee. I didn't want to give you anymore ammunition to use against me if you saw how weak I'd become."

Tim looked away, embarrassed. It was true. He wasn't always nice to Tony but somewhere throughout their eleven years of working together, the man's goofy charm had grown on him. It was true that at times Tony annoyed the hell out of him, but as of late, he was finding that he really missed the oddball joke or movie reference just to break the tension. "Yeah. Guess I owe you an apology."

Tony shook his head. "No. You don't. I didn't make it easy for you."

"I'll say," Tim mumbled. He heard Tony chuckle for the first time since arriving.

Again they fell into silence, the only sound in the apartment that of the old movie playing on the television, and then the clunk of the Jack Daniels bottle as it was set down onto the coffee table. Tim watched as Tony rubbed his hands over his scraggly face. "What am I doing, McGee?"

Tim cocked an eyebrow in curiosity. "You mean besides locking yourself away, drinking at all hours of the day and watching old Cary Grant movies?"

Tony smiled, sadly. "Impressive, McGee. Didn't know you were familiar with Cary Grant."

"Well, Ducky says you fancy you self the modern day Cary Grant with your dress," Tim replied with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "But back to the point, since your ADD has sent us off track again. What do you mean, what are you doing?"

"I'm sitting here wallowing over a woman that I was never in a relationship with."

"Come on. Not the first time a guy has wallowed over a woman that wasn't his."

Tony grunted, lowly. "Don't try to make me feel better, because this is how I end up—again and again. In the movies it's the pretty girl crying over the jock breaking her heart. My life—it's my heart that's been broken over and over. Wendy, Jeanne, EJ—Ziva—they all left me."

Tim absorbed that bit of information. "Come on, you must have ended a relationship before."

"I've ended a lot of one night stands and long weekends, relationships that really do not qualify as one."

"I could drop a horrible cliché here and say, everything happens for a reason."

Tony shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Horribly cliché. Not sure the reason why my heart being broken over and over again is. Guess I should just come to terms with the fact that I'm probably going to be alone the rest of my life. I'm married to the job."

Tim didn't know why but his partner's declaration of damning himself to solo life, stung. Tony didn't deserve all that had been thrown at him over the years and as he sat there with him, Tim was beginning to wonder why the mental breakdown had taken so long to grasp him. Of course, maybe it was always that the thought that someday Ziva would feel the same way about Tony and everything was going to work out that they would get their happy ending. Who knew that the womanizing, play boy, Anthony DiNozzo was really a hopeless romantic at heart? "You just haven't met the right girl yet."

"Ya think, Probie?"

"Listen. If it's going to happen maybe you shouldn't be looking for it."

"Wasn't looking for it when I fell for Ziva."

Tim rubbed his temple. They could easily go around in circles for hours. Tony was good at that. "You said Ziva was different. She was different because she was your partner for eight years. You survived all different kinds of hell with her. There's a small possibly that you love her but you're not in love with her."

Tony reached for the bottle of Jack and took a long sip. "You're not making any sense, ."

"Hear me out."

"Fine."

Tim took a deep breath. "If you were in love with her you would have stormed off that plane in Israel and told her. If you were in love with her you would have stopped her from going on that suicide mission to Somalia. If you were in love with her you wouldn't have waited for Gibbs silent signal to go after her when she stormed out of the cabin in May. If you were in love with her you never would have let the relationship with Ray get that close to marriage and that was only stopped because the guy killed someone."

Tony looked away, briefly. "You forget I went to Africa to avenge her death, I disregarded protocol to protect her when Rivkin was in town, and I spent all those hours trying to track down those damn opera tickets but had to settle for a recording. Does someone who isn't in love do that?"

"You did all those things because you care about her. You didn't want her to lose her job when Rivkin was compromising her, we both went to Somalia to avenge her death, and we both know how much honoring Tali means to her. You leave Nutter Butters on my desk all the time, bring me coffee late at night and Chinese food. Abby gets roses and cupcakes on her birthday, and whenever she's down, I can usually find her here, curled up on your sofa with you watching a movie—does that mean you're in love with us too?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Probie. I do that because I care about you guys."

Suddenly a look of understanding passed over Tony's face. Tim finally felt he'd broken through. God, Tony was stubborn, and Abby was right that he was a rock—but he was a rock wall that needed to be chipped away in order to get to him.

In that moment the senior field agent's shoulders eased and it was as if he finally came to accept that Ziva wasn't coming back, that he needed to move on with his life no matter how much it hurt. Tim wasn't stupid. He knew that Tony wasn't going to heal overnight, but at least he could go back to NCIS and report to Abby that he broken Tony out of his fog.

Maybe now he would come back into work. Vance was being awfully lenient with all of them, giving them some days to sort everything out before returning to work. Tim and Gibbs had not taken the days offered to them, but Tony had. It had surprised them both if they were honest.

"So. What are you going to tell Abby when you go back?"

"Oh, ah, that you just need some time…and space."

His lips pulled into a small grin. "Like Abby's going to listen to that. She'll be here tonight," Tony replied.

Tim winced. "Yeah. Probably. I'm really sorry, Tony."

"Don't be," Tony said, pulling himself from the sofa. "Gives me an excuse to finally clean the place up, maybe shave and take a shower."

"Maybe? You smell like you've been lost in the desert for weeks."

Tony lifted his tee shirt to his nose and sniffed. He made a vulgar face and agreed. "Yeah, maybe I'll shower first."

Tim felt some relief wash through him. "Want me to stay and help?" When Tony threw him a questionable look, he clarified, "I mean with the cleaning."

"Put the pizza boxes in the trash chute on your way out?"

"Sure."

Tony moved towards the bathroom but paused. Slowly he turned while Tim was gathering up the pizza boxes and bit down on his lower lip. "Probie."

Tim glanced up from his cleaning and looked at his partner expectantly.

"Thanks. For picking me up and dusting me off."

"No problem, Tony."

"You do realize that if you tell anyone about our little heart to heart here I will have Abby kill you without leaving forensic evidence?"

Tim couldn't help the goofy grin that plastered his face. It was great to have a semblance of the old Tony back. "Yeah. I know."

Tony grunted and disappeared into the bathroom. Tim gathered up the pizza boxes, left the apartment with the door slamming shut behind him and tossed the trash down the chute. On his way out of the building he shoved his hands into his pockets. He knew that Ziva leaving was going to linger with Tony for a long time but at least now he was moving beyond sitting on his sofa drinking the days away.

And that, he reasoned, was a the first step.

#ncis #ncis fanfiction #tony dinozzo #timothy mcgee #the first step

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sandalaris · 4 years

Note

1, 9, 10, 17, 19, 22 for the WIP ask :)

1. What made you write your WIP?

Depends on the WIP. The last two that I’ve posted on, All the Little Pieces and A Lesson in Navigation, were written for very different reasons.

All the Little Pieces came about because my brain just sort of starting making connections between different shows I watch (like both Castle and Elementary have similarly looking police precincts and they both use consultants, Michonne would have totally been able to out stare Castiel, I bet Emily got to meet Sterling at least once while at Interpol, etc) and I’d been hankering to write a zombie AU so I tossed like six fandoms into the Walking Dead world and went to town.

All the Little Pieces started out as a one-shot that wouldn’t stop growing. It was supposed to just be a conversation between Kate and Sonja where Sonja makes assumptions about Kate and Seth’s relationship and that’d be that. But by the time I got to the end of what ended up being the first chapter, I just wanted to keep going. Now I’m nearly 20 chapters in and am not done yet.

9. Who is your favourite character to write?

Oo, that’s a tough one… and as such the answer ended up being really long…

I’m working on two Community fics (one that’s technically done but needs a shit ton of editing/rewriting, and one that is not done, but what I’ve written needs no changing), and Britta and Troy became my surprise “characters that make a scene better.” I’ve not done either of their POVs (yet) but throwing either of them into a scene, even if it’s just so another character has someone to talk too/bounce off of, has made those scenes just a little more fun to write. Annie also makes the list purely because the few times now that I’ve written from her POV I find I really like writing her interactions with those around her. She’s been the perfect tool to pull things from characters I wasn’t expecting to get from them.

In other fandoms, I’m loving writing Kate’s (from Castle) point of view, as well as Gibbs’s from NCIS. They are both not doing well mentally with the whole zombie apocalypse thing but are able to handle themselves physically in such a way that others just don’t see how they are utterly unraveling inside, barely holding it together for the people they love but are due to snap at any moment. In FDtD Kisa is a blast to write from, although I think I prefer writing from Kate’s point of view in general. Kisa is fun to write from and I think I’m going to have to do a fic focused on her at one point because there’s just so much there, but Kate’s a bit more insightful when it comes to those around her and I enjoy a good insight from an outsider’s perspective.

10. Do you have an outline? Do you stick to it?

*loud hysterical laughter*

Not in the slightest. Planning kills my drive to write. Even in school I’d scowl at the teacher’s demands that we create and turn in an outline for a paper. I’d go backwards, write the paper and then set up an outline for it afterwards so I wouldn’t lose points.

I do often have somewhat of a vague idea of the direction I am heading with some random part of a fic, but it’s broad and vague and totally flexible.

17. Post the last line you wrote in your WIP.

I’m gonna go one step further because I know you’re a Community fan and give you the last line I wrote and the last one I wrote on a Community fic.

1. Last line(s) from a Community fic I’m working on:

“Jeeze, grouchy,” she grumbles, looking at him with that gaze of hers that seems to see through his bullshit exactly when he doesn’t want her to. “No need to get all defensive, I was agreeing with you for once.”

“Right, yeah,” he says with as much casualness as he can muster, because he suddenly, violently doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. Doesn’t want to swap Kissing Annie stories with someone else when… he just doesn’t want to. That’s all there is to it. End of discussion. No justification required.

2. Last line from the next chapter in A Lesson in Navigation:

“That was just practice,” Scott protests, sudden and a little desperate, pulling Kate’s attention to the here and now. She can’t save the girl, can’t go back and undo what Scott did, but she can face her brother now. Can help turn him from the path he’s been placed on.

19. Do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

Somewhat…? Not really….? Certainly not when I start writing, but I sometimes develop a vague “they’ll end up roughly here” at some point while writing. I’m a sucker for a happy ending so that’s a given, but as for the actual ending? I guess I do jump around in my writing a bit, write scenes out of order, and it’s not uncommon for me to write pieces of the resolution before getting to the end, but they are rarely (if ever) significant to the actual plot and are fully subject to change/rewrites/being tossed out.

22. How many projects do you usually have going at once?

…More than I should.

But in my weak defense, most of those are pieces of a fics that I know I’ll never write fully but that I like lines/bits from and will probably end up incorporating into different fics. Or will get posted in my Get Used to Disappointment “fic,” which is a collection of incomplete fic fragments that I have no plans on going back and actually completing.

In my slightly stronger defense, I typically only work on 2 to 3 at a time. Other fics get put on the backburner, random lines/bits of editing happening sporadically, while the bulk of my attention stays locked on a few specific fics until they reach completion… or something else snags my attention so thoroughly that it manages to shove one of them onto the bakburner instead and takes its place.

*takes a deep breath, opens my incomplete fics folder, counts the fics* Hey, it’s not as bad as I thought. I currently have 27 fics started but not finished… oh wait, I forgot that two of those hold the fragments of fics that I’m not sure I’m ever going to finish but am not sure I’m not going to either, and are possibly fated for the Get Used to Disappointment “fic” on Ao3…… I’m going to stick with the number 27. I like it, we’ll go with that one.

#asked and answered #ask me questions!#fic writing!

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 years

Text

THE BISEXUAL WYATT MANIFESTO: PART DEUX

The previous post simply got far too long for me to put it all in one place so here is part the second. Put below a cut and my apologies to mobile users!

Part one here.

PART THE SECOND: POURQOUI???

But why, Mads, you shout? Why decide to headcanon a character as bi? Is it just so you can write your dragon porn?

maybe

Ahem.

Listen. I love diversity as much as the next person. Y’all know I do. I mean, I’m a huge fan of Rufus and Jiya, and Denise, queen of my heart. But… I mean we already have a het ship with Jiya and Rufus. And I feel like, y’know, Wyatt being white AND cis AND male AND straight? Feels like a little much, y’know? And there’s no reason for him to be straight, he just IS, and that feels—I mean where’s the whole backstory about it, right? And it feels a little illogical to have… I mean I don’t have any friends who are white and straight and cis male. It just feels unrealistic.

Okay, okay, extreme salt aside and mostly out of my system…

As a character, even in season one when I did like him, Wyatt is boring. He’s the same white straight male soldier/law-and-order character that we’ve seen in literally every single piece of science fiction since the dawn of time. You will find an exact copy of him in Stargate SG-1 (my apologies to Jack O’Neill), Stargate Atlantis (sorry John…), 12 Monkeys, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Terra Nova, Battlestar Galactica, Andromeda, Star Trek Enterprise, Eureka… and that’s not even touching all the mystery/crime shows (CSI, Bones, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Law & Order, Blue Bloods, Take Two) and military shows (SEAL Team, 24, etc). He’s got a dead wife, fantastic, so does the Punisher, so does Sam Winchester (also created by Eric Kripke), so does GARCIA FLYNN, another character on the show, and Flynn’s wife’s death actually ties into the bigger mystery of the show. By God, if you’re gonna fridge a wife at least make her fridging the entire reason the show exists.

Yes, you heard me. Think about it. If Lorena and Iris Flynn don’t die, then Flynn never wants to go on a vengeful rampage, so Lucy never chooses to give him the journal, so he never steals the time machine… killing Lorena and Iris was the biggest mistake Rittenhouse ever made. If you’re gonna play the dead wife card then by golly at least do it like this and make avenging her death the entire reason for the show.

So not only is Wyatt the same cookie cutter character we’ve seen in every TV show ever, he’s also a repeat of Flynn. He’s not just boring, he’s redundant.

Wyatt is also the only character on the show that you could replace with someone else without changing any of the main plot. When I originally decided to do a fic where the team comes back to find one of them was erased from existence on the trip, I knew it had to be Wyatt—erasing Lucy would change everything (which I explore in The Void is Open), erasing Flynn would take them to a world where Rittenhouse has won, erasing Rufus would mean potentially no pilot… you see what I mean. But Wyatt is very neatly replaced with Dave Baumgardner in 1.14 and shows us that Wyatt is, literally, replaceable. Of course he isn’t to Lucy and Rufus at that point because they care about him but for writing reasons? For plot? Literally any soldier would do. Any. Denise could hop in there with them if she so chose.

Now, all this makes it sound like I dislike Wyatt. And I didn’t in season one. I quite liked our puppy. I liked him for two reasons: 1. He had a lot of potential and 2. his character mirrored/paralleled Flynn and I saw a copious amount of opportunities with that.

Both Flynn and Wyatt have lost their spouse. Both Flynn and Wyatt are soldiers. Wyatt had an abusive father and given that Flynn goes on a potential suicide mission for his mother but we never once hear him mention his father (he might as well not have one for his importance to Flynn’s life), I’m taking a guess that Flynn’s father wasn’t all that great of a person either. Both Flynn and Wyatt risk everything to save the people they love and both pay heavy prices for it and become people they’re ashamed of (Flynn all of season one, Wyatt in 1x13). Both Flynn and Wyatt care deeply for Lucy and look to her for guidance.

Wyatt and Flynn mirror each other. One is willing to break rules, and to forge his own path, while the other follows rules and is scared to strike out on his own. Both of them struggle with identity–Wyatt has no idea who he is now that Jess is dead, and Flynn believes he’s turned into a monster and who he once was is lost. Taking advantage of that mirror makes for compelling storytelling, and the writers failed in that in season two after setting it up so beautifully in season one.

The fun thing is, these parallels become even more poignant if you make Wyatt bi and have him be attracted to Flynn (and is a convenient shortcut to bring those parallels back to the fore).

We touched in the previous section how it’s easy to see Wyatt as attracted to Flynn and that’s why he lashes out so much, and indeed how that is the only rational explanation for why Wyatt is so goddamn against Flynn the whole time.

Let’s dive into that, shall we?

Of the original trio, Rufus and Lucy have ample reason to dislike Flynn. Wyatt? Has none. Flynn makes things personal with Lucy right out the gate, and Rufus’s family will be hurt if Flynn isn’t stopped. But Wyatt is just supposed to see Flynn as an enemy soldier. No personal vendetta involved. And before you say rivalry over Lucy–most of Lucy’s pivotal moments with Flynn in season one are without Wyatt present, and the ones she does have in front of Wyatt aren’t automatically read as romantic. Wyatt himself doesn’t even admit he’s got feelings for Lucy until season two, and as far as he knows, Lucy’s still dealing with Noah.

But Wyatt hates Flynn. As we’ve seen in our examples, he reacts to Flynn with a violence that is missing from Rufus and Lucy. And there is no reason for that violent dislike to be there.

Unless Wyatt is attracted to Flynn and is scared of that from internalized homophobia.

If Wyatt finds Flynn attractive, and has internalized homophobia from, y’know, growing up in Texas and having an abusive father and going into the army, then his anger towards Flynn, his stubbornness, his refusal to listen to Flynn (because if Flynn is right about things and Flynn is an okay guy that opens the door to other more ‘dangerous’ thoughts), and his tendency to react to Flynn’s time with Lucy with such anger–it all makes sense. The last one is partly about Wyatt’s jealousy and possessiveness over Lucy but if it’s coupled with attraction to Flynn it makes even more sense.

Having Wyatt behave this way simply doesn’t hold up. It relies far too much on the audience making leaps of logic about Flynn and Lucy’s relationship in season one and assuming that Wyatt and Lucy are meant to be together, without enough evidence for the latter and Wyatt not at all present for the former.

If Wyatt’s bi, it all makes sense and is logical and again adds another dimension to his character and to his interactions with Flynn.

Monkey Brain: heh heh Wyatt and Flynn kissing is hot as fuck

Wyatt’s toxic masculinity becomes even more interesting and important (and make more sense) if Wyatt is bi.

In this meta here (my first for the Timeless fandom!) I talk about Wyatt and his toxic masculinity so to avoid repeating myself howzabout you go read that and come back mmkay?

…

You done? Perfect. So. Now that you understand where Wyatt’s toxic masculinity comes from and how he displays it in canon, I can say this:

Wyatt being bi forces him to confront his toxic behavior in a unique and powerful way that he can no longer ignore.

Part of Wyatt’s toxic behavior is that his behavior is specifically based in the masculine and the patriarchal. And so most of his bad behavior is rooted in how he treats his romantic interest–which has been Lucy and Jess.

Wyatt was, by his own admission, jealous and possessive towards Jess. He didn’t know how to relate to Lucy when she was no longer a romantic option, so he keeps trying to be romantic with her instead, and his possessive behavior comes to the fore as he tries to control who she spends time with and tries to get her to be as emotionally intimate with him as she was before, despite his wife being back and that intimacy no longer possible.

Getting Wyatt to realize his toxic behavior is difficult, since so many people have bought into the lie that men are supposed to be territorial and possessive towards the women they’re in relationships with. However, most heteronormative toxicity falls apart and is recognizable as harmful once we put it in a new light.

When a situation is bad, you often need an outside perspective, or to change one of the circumstances, in order to see how bad it is. Wyatt’s been lectured at by Lucy, Rufus, Flynn, and Jess, and he didn’t see his behavior was unhealthy. But if we change one of the circumstances i.e. the gender of the person he’s attracted to romantically/sexually, then suddenly he has to look at his behavior towards that person in a new light.

Let’s take Flynn for example. Wyatt can’t treat Flynn the way he’s treated Jess or Lucy. If he tries to be possessive of Flynn, not only would he be unable to, but he’ll realize that it’s wrong of him to even think of it. Wyatt wouldn’t find it natural to try and be jealous when Flynn talked to another man, because Flynn is a man, and he wouldn’t automatically assume another man was flirting with Flynn, or that Flynn was flirting with that man.

Because the thing is, our society is pretty heteronormative still. It’s genuinely hard to tell when someone is just being friendly or actually flirting, but we tend to really assume that when a man is interacting with a woman, one or both of them are flirting. With people of the same gender (or of non-cis genders such as trans and nonbinary) it becomes harder to tell, and a lot of the time we assume that it’s just platonic. So for Wyatt to become jealous over Flynn talking to a man–that goes against the norm because it means he’s assuming romantic rather than platonic interaction, the opposite of what we assume when we look at two people of the same gender.

It would force him to take a second look at all of his behavior and choices. It would force him to realize that his behavior was wrong towards Flynn, which means it’s wrong towards Lucy and Jess, etc. It changes an element and so it forces him to see everything in a new light.

On top of all this—Wyatt’s character is pretty stagnant. I believe that’s why they brought Jess back, honestly: because without Jess coming back to complicate things, there’s nowhere for Wyatt to grow. Forcing him to confront his behavior towards Jess was, I think, what the writers ultimately intended for him (the smart ones, anyway). I don’t think they intended for him to end up with Jess at the end, at least not originally. There are things said by Shawn Ryan in interviews that suggest to me that they realized Flynn/Lucy and Wyatt/Jess was a more interesting dynamic than the originally planned Wyatt/Lucy, so they switched gears and planned to have Jess end up with Wyatt. BUT, whether a romantic reunion endgame for them was the plan or not, given the alley scene in 2x10 and other scenes in season two, I fully believe that prior to the nuclear bomb of dog shit that was the Christmas finale, the plan was always to give Jess a redemption arc and that Wyatt would become a better person through convincing her to turn double agent (and through becoming a father).

If you don’t bring Jess back, there’s nowhere for Wyatt’s character to go. Nothing for him to do. Rufus, Lucy, Flynn, Mason, Denise, Jiya—they all have hugely powerful arcs and tough situations. I could go into them but that’ll send me off into another tangent that we don’t have time for. Suffice to say, I can off the top of my head think of two internal struggles and places for each character to grow that would last a couple seasons. And that’s just off the top of my head.

But Wyatt? You can’t. He’s got nowhere to go.

Bringing back Jess is one way that you can force growth and give Wyatt a new arc, but you can’t just give a character one single arc. You have to give them multiple. No real life person is struggling with just one thing, we’re struggling with multiple things. Take Lucy in season two. She’s struggling with Rittenhouse, with her relationship with her mother, with her realizations about herself and what she’s willing to do, with losing Wyatt, with getting back Amy, and with her growing relationship with Flynn.

That’s a lot.

Rufus and Jiya have their relationship AND Jiya’s visions that lead to an arc about destiny versus free will, AND both struggling with the “what are we willing to do to win/who am I becoming” arc.

Give Wyatt JUST Jess, and that’s not enough. It’s also something that, to do right, you have to stretch over I’d say two seasons, seasons three and four. So you need something else to fill in more gaps.

Having Wyatt be bisexual and having him struggle with his sexuality gives him dozens of more opportunities for interesting interactions with other characters, it gives him more ways to address his toxic behavior (as we discussed), it gives him more ways to grow. Because we don’t just grow in a straight line. We grow like trees, with limbs stretching up all over the place and roots digging in deep and crisscrossing everywhere.

Wyatt is a stagnant character. Giving him bisexuality gives him a way to continue to grow that isn’t dependent on another character (Jess) and can be shortened or drawn out depending on how his other arc (Jess, potentially Lucy as well) plays out.

Having Wyatt be bi takes away all of his redundancy, and stops him from being boring, and stops him from being so easily replaceable. If a character isn’t intrinsically tied to the plot (Rufus is there because he’s the only pilot, Lucy is a history expert and tied to Rittenhouse, etc) then you need to think of other reasons for the viewers to really care about them and I’m sorry, but having a dead wife and then being stuck in a heterosexual love triangle doesn’t cut it in the year of our lord 2016 (or ’17, or ’18, or any other year that follows).

And no offense to anyone struggling with PTSD because it needs to be addressed, but the whole ‘soldier with PTSD’ has been done before and, despite making it a main feature in 1.05 The Alamo, it hasn’t been touched on since. Not once. So that’s I guess been thrown out the window by the writers as a plot device (although again that could be brought back by having Wyatt bond with Flynn and Flynn talking with him about shared experiences could be a way that Wyatt further develops feelings for him YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN!?!?).

It also, as I outlined in part one, explains all of his behavior. It takes behavior that made no sense and was toxic alpha male bullshit and puts a whole new and interesting and understandable spin on it. Note I said understandable, not justifiable, this does not in any way excuse any of Wyatt’s behavior. But boy howdy does it make it a lot more nuanced and layered. Having Wyatt be bi suddenly opens so many goddamn doors for his character I can’t even keep track. His PTSD, his relationship with his father, his relationship with Jess, his relationship with Flynn and Lucy, his time in the army, all of those things have new and boundless opportunities in them. It gives opportunities and explains and gives depth to one-note, shallow, cliche male behavior.

Not to mention, um, making him a repressed bisexual gives so many more opportunities for angst and hurt/comfort and all that delicious, delicious character conflict that we all love. Mmmm yes the precious. And, BONUS, it gives us character angst that doesn’t necessarily revolve around a romantic pairing! You can give a character a sexuality crisis without giving them a person to be paired off with! Wyatt can have his crisis over Ian Fleming or Wendell Scott or Rittenhouse Agent No. 5, and figure it all out with only platonic assistance from the team. OR he can be pining over Flynn without Flynn having a clue because Flynn needs his love interests to hit him over the head with a baseball bat to get him to notice and even then it doesn’t always work. OR have him worry about confessing to Jess and/or Lucy and fearing they’ll see him differently given their past sexual/romantic entanglements! ALL. THE. CHARACTER. ANGST. BITCHEEEEEES.

Finally, last but not least, why should Wyatt be bi? Because representation matters, that’s why.

Up until now I’ve highlighted why Wyatt, specifically, as an individual, should be bi. But stepping away from him individually… why the fuck not make your character bi?

It’s the 2010s. The world is finally waking up to the fact that LGBT+ people are here, we exist, and also having us as characters makes your ratings soar. People were ecstatic over The Day Reagan Was Shot, which focused on Denise and her coming out. Timeless’s diversity was a huge point in its favor and was a huge part of why critics loved it. Making, of all people, the most rough and tumble masculine man’s man of the cast be bisexual is important because it reminds us that anyone can have any sexuality, that there are no stereotypes, and that not all LGBT+ people are fashion gurus.

I’m sorry, Wyatt, but it’s true, you are no longer allowed to dress yourself, I’ve submitted you to Queer Eye.

What could be a more powerful storyline for today than a man who was abused as a kid, exhibited toxic masculinity, and was clearly unhappy with himself as a person and looking outside of himself to someone else to fix him, come to terms with himself, come to love himself, come to say “hey I love who I love and I am who I am and fuck anyone who says otherwise”? What could be a more wonderful representation of the diversity and family bonding themes of the show then to have Wyatt, the insecure difficult-with-feelings small town poster for typical masculinity come out, scared of rejection, scared of their reactions, only to have everyone show him love and acceptance and unwavering support? To have Denise hug him and tell him she understands how she feels? To have Lucy tell him she doesn’t see him any differently? For Rufus to joke this is why Wyatt can never choose a cereal and then reaffirm their friendship?

Having Wyatt be bi isn’t just good for him as a character, it’s good for the audience, and it continues the themes of the show and continues to break down stereotypes and honestly, there’s no reason for any character to be straight, either. We just ask “but why” because straight is still the default in our heads and all deviancy from the norm must be explained and rationalized. But there’s no need for that. Wyatt has the most typically heterosexual traits out of all of them, and he’s from a small town in Texas, and he went into the army. How powerful for people to see him come out. How wonderful. But Wyatt can be bi just because you damn well feel like it, because there shouldn’t be a big list of reasons (although I do have them, clearly). He can be bi just because, well, there’s no big tragic backstory for why I’m bi. I just am. And so is he.

In conclusion: Bi!Wyatt is ten times more interesting, nuanced, and unique than Straight!Wyatt, it adds depth and opportunities for growth, it gives layers to existing storylines and character relationships involving Wyatt, it explains his behavior and makes it more understandable, and it gives us needed representation.

My monkey brain adds that the opportunity for humor with this is also boundless and honestly I agree, good job monkey brain, you get a treat.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

#wyatt logan #timeless #timeless meta #wyatt meta #Wyatt Logan's Bisexuality Crisis #koortega #tagging her since she sent me the original ask

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beatrixacs · 4 years

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F, G, I, R and V for the asks 🌷 I love love love your NCIS stuff! Practically read every one of them haha keep it up with the great work :)))

Thank you very much, @indestinatus! :)

Here are my answers:

F) Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

Oh wow, this one is pretty hard. I mean, I have written so many - in my humble opinion - good dialogue scenes I am proud of... It's really hard to choose just ONE, especially in the amount of stuff I have ever written. But well, considering I have recently read through one fic I wrote some time ago, I actually did a double-take and was like ‘damn, that’s good’ :D It’s from ‘There’s Still Time To Change Your Mind’ TIVA fic:

She realized her mistake of undervaluing him being ready for the commitment. Until now, she hadn't pondered the fact that he might want to commit to one person only and that was why he treated most of dates the way he did. They weren't her. He did like them but he had never formed any kind of emotional attachment to them and he had never been actually interested in doing so. Because there was only one woman in his heart worth the trouble and the risk.

"Yes, I did have a reason for accepting his marriage proposal. And it was a wrong reason, I know that now." She confessed with a thick accent that had always forced its way into the tone of her voice whenever she was moved beyond description. "I thought I couldn't have you."

He reached his hand into her hair, raking his fingers through the gorgeous wild curls he loved so much. Things had taken quite an interesting turn and their level of misunderstanding was apparently colossal, so he wanted to take his time to mull his next words over before he would let them out. Eventually, he figured that to question whether his signals hadn't been enough and she had just ignored to see them or how had it been even possible that they sucked so much in reading each other, was trivial.

"You can have me anytime." He said in a whisper softly. It wasn't anything soulful but he just wanted to assure her that he was always here for her for as long as she wanted him to be. "The whole package is at your disposal."

And why I am proud of it? One of my struggles with TIVA has always been the way Ziva just seemed to be available for anyone else but Tony when it came to commitment and I really, really, really hated the whole thing with Ray when she was so out of character. By this, I finally was in peace because I fixed it – gave her the reason why she was so stupid to accept Ray’s proposal for marriage but showing that all Tony did was just wait and wait and wait and she needed to see it, not to close her eyes before it.

G) Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Always from start to finish. When I have an idea for a scene out of order, I write down the basic outlines (dialogue, feelings of the characters) because I know it may take months before I get down to writing that. But always from start to finish, I don’t jump because writing has taught me that it’s unpredictable and while I did have something in mind earlier, the plot can take a little bit different course and the scene is then unusable or needs to be reworked.

I) Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Hm... A guilty pleasure? Not sure if it’s a guilty pleasure but basically both in reading and writing, I always go for M or E rating. I’m sorry for all those K, K+, T and other ratings but I spend like 99 % of my time in M and E rated section. It’s also very rare for me to write anything but that because my mind simply creates a scenario in my head immediately. Hope this won’t paint me like some horny weirdo but especially when it comes to solely shipping fic, I just don’t see a reason why not to get the juicy scenes as well.

R) Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Interesting question... Probably not any fanfic author because my first writing works date back before I even knew that fanfiction exists so... I once put one of my stories into a generator and it told me that I write like Agatha Christie (despite not writing crime novels) and I think that kinda fits because I love Hercule Poirot since I was a kid.

I’d say that a great influence is those dumb TV show and movie writers who keep screwing things up so I get to fix endlessly their mess. When you get angry enough, I think you can write anything.

And then I have to give a shoutout to all the Caskett (Castle x Beckett) writers (unfortunately, don’t remember their names at the moment) in M rated section on Fanfiction.net. Those guys have taught me A LOT about how to write smut. Eternally grateful to them for that.

V) If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Hm... I don’t actually think I would even want to do that. You see, I see fanfiction as something also very personal to the writer and taking their setting and their story and create either sequel or prequel to that seems like... Sacrilege? :D (Though I do know examples like that in normal fiction and I don’t have problems with that) I always think that the fics are perfect and while I can have my own ideas, I rather come out with my own story to apply them. Maybe I have never been simply inspired to do something like this – perhaps when I run out of ideas one day (which doesn’t seem to be the case).

Thank you very much for the question, I love to see how other people think in comparison with me :)

#personal #my stuff #fanfic asks

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loudlooks · 7 years

Text

Coincidence Ch2

As promised, the second part of the Kill Ari AU I’m posting for Tiva Fic Amnesty.

More details in the A/N of Part 1

Word count: 2370

“You tried to kill me this morning,” Tony said, not taking his eyes of Ziva.

Ziva’s eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. Clearly she had underestimated this Agent DiNozzo. There was no way he could’ve known it was her on the rooftop. He must’ve put two and two together and figured that her bumping into him earlier that day was not a coincidence.

“If I had tried to kill you, you would not be standing here.”

“That’s what your sister said. So why didn’t you? Didn’t want to remove my handsome features from the gene pool?” he quipped. When in doubt, deflect with humor, that was his motto, anyway. His joking had proved useful on many occasions; distracting suspects, putting victims at ease. It also earned him a head slap from his boss every now and then.

The fact that he wasn’t on the floor in a pool of his own blood reassured him, ever so slightly, that Ziva must have had a good reason not to kill him. Having a gun aimed at his head was getting on his nerves, though.

“You can lower the gun, you know, I’m unarmed. It’s surprisingly hard to bring a gun into Israel, even for a US federal agent with all the right papers.”

He was pretty sure she already knew he was a federal agent, but figured it couldn’t hurt to remind her. The US government would not take kindly to a dead federal agent on Israeli soil. And Israel needed all the help they could get from their allies.

“You do not need a gun to kill someone,” Ziva replied

“Well, I don’t see anything here I could possibly use as a weapon, so I think –“

He had been slowly lowering his hands, when a little flick upwards of the barrel of the gun made him think better of it.

“Seriously, I’m not a threat,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice calm and even. “I’m in Israel to find information on the Hamas terrorist who killed my partner.”

For the second time, he saw Ziva’s eyes narrow. That had clearly struck a nerve.

She said something in Hebrew, and he saw Tali give him a look of sympathy, before walking towards another room. He swallowed hard, this did not look good for him.

He opened his mouth to postpone whatever would surely be coming next, when he saw Ziva nod towards one of the chairs.

“Hands on the table.”

Sitting down slowly, placing his hands on the table he noticed a slight change in her expression. She seemed somewhat amused by the way he had reacted to her sending her sister to another room.

Sliding the chair opposite him away from the table and sitting down, she put away her gun.

This seemed to ease his nerves. At least, until Ziva commented that there were at least five other objects within arm’s reach that she could kill him with.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Tony deadpanned.

“Talk.”

Tony had been told to shut up plenty of times, never to start talking. So in order to try and throw the Israeli off her game, he started rattling off his life story. Beginning at his earliest memories at the age of three.

She indulged him for a couple of minutes. When he was telling the story, in detail, of how he had set fire to his parents’ kitchen at the age of five, though, Ziva realized they could be there all week.

“I created a very extensive background file on you, Agent DiNozzo-“

“That’s Very Special Agent DiNozzo,” he interrupted.

“I suggest you start talking voluntarily about what you’re doing here. Unless you want me to practice my interrogation techniques on you. Techniques which happen to be very illegal in the US.”

Staring her in the eye for a couple of seconds, he concluded that his usual banter wouldn’t faze her. Remembering the look Tali had given him and the fact that he was out here with no back-up, he figured telling the truth would seriously increase his chances of not being sent home in a body bag. Assuming the Israelis wouldn’t just make his body disappear altogether.

Explaining everything that happened, from a certain Hamas terrorist breaking into the Navy Yard to standing next to his partner when she was shot, he ended with how he had come to Tel Aviv trying to find out where Ari was.

Even though her face remained expressionless throughout, her eyes told she was unaware of the details of what went down in the US with Hamas.

“Now you know my story, tell me, why does the IDF want me dead?”

“Who says the IDF wants you dead?” she replied.

“I saw the picture of you in uniform…” He touched a finger to his lips. “Wait, you’re not IDF anymore are you?”

A smirk appeared on Ziva’s face, when she saw the intrigue on Tony’s face.

“You’re Mossad,” he said matter of factly.

He started grinning, unable to hide how much he liked how this situation was turning into something out of a Bond movie. He briefly wondered if he would be as successful with this exotic female spy as Bond always was in the movies.

Before he could make a lewd Bond girl reference, though, Ziva’s cell phone rang. Never taking her eyes of him, smirk still in place because of the excitement she now saw in his eyes, she answered the phone.

From the tone of the conversation, Tony concluded it wasn’t going well.

“Lover’s quarrel?” he said as she hung up the phone, a look of annoyance gracing her beautiful features.

Narrowing her eyes at him, she said “That was the deputy director of Mossad…inquiring why you are still alive.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but I’ve been wondering the same thing. From what I’ve gathered from your sister, you’re not exactly the type to question orders.”

“What evidence do you have that Ari killed your partner?”

Tony weighed his options after she completely ignored his question; refusing cooperation with the agency that put a hit on him, trying to charm her pants off, or trusting his gut and confiding in the assassin that was sent to kill him. He didn’t exactly see the first two options ending well—very graphic images of a bullet in his head and a possible castration came to mind—he decided to go with his gut.

“We matched the bullet that killed Kate to his rifle.”

“That is hardly evidence,” Ziva said.

“A little bird at the FBI told us Ari’s actually a Mossad operative, working deep undercover. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” Tony studied her face, hoping she would give away something. Anything. Then he continued, “Everything we’ve been able to dig up so far points to Ari having gone rogue. Is that why your director wants me dead? Because he doesn’t want anyone to find out he lost control of one of his officers?”

“Ari has not gone rogue.”

The clipped tone of voice and flash of anger he had seen on her face, told Tony he had finally gotten under her skin. He took that as a sign to probe around some more. Maybe he’d finally get some answers this time.

“Looks like I struck a cord,” he said.

Her brow furrowed, not understanding.

“What is he, your boyfriend?”

No reaction. Not exactly what he’d expected. Seeing how her face had gone completely blank again, Tony was pretty sure she wouldn’t lose control again.

Ignoring the question, she said, “My orders were to kill a rogue NCIS agent who took up communication with Ari’s terrorist group.” She looked at him pointedly, leaving no room for error as to who that NCIS agent was. “I hope you realize that if you ever tell anyone about what I just told you, I’d have to kill you.”

“You’re all about the killing aren’t you?” he said, not sure what to make of this turn of events. “Where exactly did Mossad get that information from?”

“Ari.”

Tony felt his eyes go wide, realizing he was in real trouble if the deputy director of Mossad believed one of his undercover operatives, who had clearly crossed over to the dark side. With no back-up, he had no choice but to trust the Mossad officer in front of him to help him set things straight. Seeing as Ziva clearly wasn’t allowed to discuss her mission with anyone, there’s no way she would allow him to call the director of NCIS to clear things up with Mossad.

“Look, I know you have no reason to trust me- “

“You are right, I do not.”

“But,” he continued, “I told you the truth.” He looked in her eyes, willing her to believe him.

“I believe him,” Tali said, standing in the doorway.

Ziva hadn’t taken her eyes of Tony the whole conversation, but now her eyes quickly darted into the direction of her sister. Tony realized having Tali there could be to his advantage; maybe Tali could convince Ziva to help him.

“If I truly had gone rogue, joining Hamas, why would I’ve bothered to save an Israeli during a Hamas bombing?”

Again, Ziva’s eyes flicked towards Tali, who was now standing at Tony’s side of the table. Ziva had to give her credit for staying well outside of his reach, though, should he try something desperate. Biting his tongue—he had the feeling starting to babble would increase the risk of Ziva becoming frustrated and taking it out on him—he just kept looking into her eyes.

He could tell she was putting all the pieces together, trying to come up with a logical conclusion to the predicament they found themselves in. Should she trust him, a foreign agent, over a coworker? Tony wasn’t so sure she would. The increasing doubt he saw in her eyes didn’t give him much hope.

Fortunately, Tali explained Tony didn’t know they were sisters until he saw Ziva’s picture on the mantle and asked about her.

Opening the first aid kit she had brought in from the other room, Tali inquired, in a tone that told her sister it was not open for discussion, if it was okay to care for Tony’s wounds. She knew enough about Mossad interrogations that tending to a prisoner’s wounds wasn’t even on the list, unless there was a chance of the prisoner dying before spilling the information they needed. Ziva nodded her consent and Tali asked him to remove his shirt so she could check his injuries.

He couldn’t stop the smirk that formed on his lips as he watched Ziva’s eyes lower to his chest after he had removed his shirt.

“If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask.”

“Just making sure my earlier assessment of your level of fitness was correct,” she replied. The unimpressed look she gave him, brought his ego down a notch or two. Not so much because of what she’d said , but the way she’d said it. He’d been on the receiving end of comments like that before from female coworkers, including his late partner Kate. The main difference was that they always sounded snarky, which Tony took as proof that he was getting under their skin, making them uncomfortable. Their body language always gave them away. Ziva, however, wasn’t giving anything away. And trying to determine whether she really was unimpressed or just very good at hiding it was giving him a headache.

While Tali took care of his injuries, which were as he'd assumed relatively superficial and didn't require stitching, Tony tried again to get the Mossad agent on his side. Ziva eventually suggested to set up a meeting between Tony and Ari. She would stay in the background, in case anything went wrong and Ari did turn out to be a double agent.

She left the room to call Ari and set up the meeting. And while he could hear, but not understand the hushed Hebrew coming from the other room. The fact that Tali appeared to have become increasingly more nervous during the conversation about Ari, hadn't escaped his attention. She seemed to be more focused on trying to listen in on the phone call than tend to his wounds. There was definite worry on her face.

He was just about to ask her what was wrong, when Ziva entered the room again, a hard look on her face. She briefly glanced at Tony, before turning her gaze on her younger sister.

Whatever Tali asked her sister in Hebrew made Tony wonder whether teaming up with a Mossad agent who was defying orders to meet with another Mossad agent who had gone rogue was such a bright idea. He didn't have any back-up, besides Ziva, and to be completely honest, he wasn't entirely convinced she was coming along as his back-up or Ari's.

He could see something shift in Ziva's eyes after hearing her sister’s distressed question. There was conflict there. Looking back at Tali he could see conflict on her face as well. He was clearly missing out on some important detail.

Ziva's answer came in a clipped tone, and he could tell she was trying hard not to let any emotion show.

Tali looked away, blinking rapidly. He could tell she was trying hard not to cry. Tired of not knowing what was going on between them, he directed his attention to Tali, thinking he had a better chance of getting a glimpse of an answer from her than from the Mossad officer.

"Do you know Ari?"

Before her sister had a chance to answer, Ziva replied "Yes, he came over to discuss a mission a couple of months ago." She gave her sister a look which clearly told her the conversation was over. "You are meeting Ari at an abandoned warehouse in an hour," she said. "We can be there in 15 minutes. I suggest we leave now and discuss the details on the way over. Ari will not be able to make it there sooner, so we will have the advantage of inspecting the warehouse layout before the meeting."

#tiva fic amnesty #tiva fanfiction #tony dinozzo #ziva david #tali david #my fanfiction #yikes #well #at least i can see all the problems with this #now that i have more writing experience

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hopeless-nostalgiac · 7 years

Text

Land I Grew: Tiva Fic Amnesty

A/N: Another day, another story, apparently! This is an oldie. Years ago when I drafted it, I used the best parts for Clarity, and the rest sat. With time and tweaks, it’s grown nebulous--yet also streamlined. I have ideas to continue it, but who knows when I’ll find the time. #standardizedtestingseason

The epigraphs are Hem, Half Acre.

Thanks to Dana, my publicist, for the encouragement + unfailing love. <3

Part I

And folded in this scrap of paper Is a land I grew in

“Ohh. Ohhh.” Reclining on the mattress, Tony’s moans rose in volume. “Oh, yeah, yeahhhh, right there, oh yes…”

“Enjoying yourself, Tony?”

Ziva stood at the foot of the bed, eyeing his unabashed indulgence of pleasure with a look that questioned whether or not he had any shame. His display was beginning to draw them unwanted attention.

“If you don’t know what a man in ecstasy sounds like, Zee-va,” he replied, eyes closed to her, “then clearly you’re doing something wrong.”

Her jeering laugh tumbled freely. “Or perhaps you are not doing something right.”

It was all she could do not to leave her partner sprawled out on a test mattress in the middle of the store room, never mind that she was the reason for the trip to The Mattress Superstore in the first place.

Tony, on the other hand, invited himself.

She didn’t care if they came in his car; if he continued with the tasteless antics, she would walk.

“My back hasn’t felt this supported in ages.” His exclamation tore her from reverie. “I think it’s the pillow top. It’s like you’re weightless on a cloud.” He patted the bed beside him, and then his palm flipped open. “Come here, you’ve got to try this one.”

An innocuous request, probably the most appropriate thing he’d said since they arrived. Still she hesitated, hyper-aware of the other shoppers as if hostiles in a dusty village square. She clasped and unclasped her hands.

Tony coaxed, “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed.”

“That was for a case.” She stopped short of saying everything.

That he’d been an attractive body and warm, responsive lips, making him more enticing than the score of other men with whom she’d performed the same deception in anonymous hotel rooms around the world. That she’d always thought Mossad would reassign her before she ever got close enough to feel anything toward the former cop who played the goofball, toward NCIS, toward that swamp city and its people…..

She stopped short.

That was before.

Tony pulled her out of her thoughts again. “That was a comfortable bed.” Turning his head on the pillow, he trapped her in a stare that would not quit.

“Are those your bedtime eyes?”

“Bedroom. And no. If they were, you would be hopeless to resist me.”

Whether that made her more or less willing to share the queen-sized mattress with him, she did not know.

“Come on. You won’t regret it,” he promised.

“One more sex sound, I will leave you here—and drive your car.”

Her threat jolted him sober. “Deal.”

With a deep exhale, Ziva tucked her knee up under her leg and plopped onto the bed. He scooted over a few millimeters, creating the illusion of extra space, and she stretched out. Side-by-side in their jackets and street shoes, they stared up at the iridescent lights tucked into the ceiling tiles overhead.

At her shoulder, Tony goaded, “Huh, huh? What’d I tell you? Heaven or what?”

Admittedly, the particular mattress was exquisite: not too malleable that she felt as though she would have to dig herself out of bed every morning, but also not overly firm like others she’d tried that day. Almost anything was preferable to the rough Navy barracks, or Gibbs’ lumpy couch, or sleeping on the dirty cement floor of—

“It is…nice,” Ziva agreed, careful of so many things.

Stacking one hand atop the other on her rib cage, she released a slow breath….and felt him watching her. She lolled her head to the side.

A tuft of his gelled, sandy-colored hair pressed up awkwardly against the pillow. Her lip curled. He would spend a ridiculous amount of time fixing the imperfection once he discovered it.

His bright hazel eyes held steady when their gazes locked.

“So,” Tony whispered. “Can you imagine yourself waking up like this every morning?”

Only a thin strip of no man’s land down the center of the mattress kept them apart, with the rest of the store muted around them. It was as intimate as she’d come to anyone since—

Michael.

Tony filling the place of the man he killed raised the hairs along her arms.

She didn’t have the luxury to pretend as if nothing had happened, to go back to the way things had been before.

Ziva reclaimed her gaze from the magnetic field cast out by his eyes.

“I will keep looking,” she told him, and sat up.

Change was all she knew.

Part II

A man is walking on the highway A woman stares out at the sea

A rap-rap-rap echoed off her front door.

The noise was foreign to her ears. She had yet to have visitors at her new place and certainly wasn’t expecting any at 2200 on a Thursday, only an hour after Gibbs allowed the team to end their workday.

Ziva left her salad on the counter next to her holstered gun. If someone was there to kill her, it was unlikely that they would have politely knocked first.

She padded barefoot to the door. A quick look through the peephole confirmed her instinct. A Very Special Agent bobbed from side to side in the hallway. Sweat glistened on his forehead.

Sighing, she cataloged options that did not involve shooting him, but ultimately Tony was easier indulged than dissuaded. She unlocked the door.

“What do you want?”

“That’s friendly. Got any water?” Tony weaved around her into the apartment. His sneakers squeaked on the freshly polished floors.

“Stop that,” she snapped, tracking his unique bouquet of pavement, grass, and deodorant working overtime into the kitchen, where he had already helped himself to water from the fridge.

Leaning back against the counter, Tony dragged so hard on the bottle that the plastic crinkled and caved in on itself. “Where’s your TV?” he asked after swallowing hard.

“I do not have one.”

“That’s cold.”

“I am not you,” she countered. “My life does not revolve around movies, so—”

“Ziva.” He lifted the half-empty bottle to eye level. “Refreshing.”

“Oh.”

Tony took another guzzle, stray droplets splashing onto the day’s growth of stubble around his mouth. A pink tongue flashed out from between his parched lips, a cat unwilling to waste a drop of precious milk.

She would be thirsty, too, if she had ran from his apartment to hers. They were clear across the city from each other now.

“Since when have you taken up running?”

“I had a lot of stress to burn off this summer.” His answer aimed for nonchalance, but landed at restrained. “No couch?”

He could have kept going and listed all the standard items that were missing: a dining room table, shelves for books and trinkets that she did not own, either. The kitchen they stood in was the most complete room in the apartment, because the appliances came furnished.

“I have not exactly had the time to settle in yet,” she explained defensively.

“Yeah, Gibbs has been keeping brutal hours. Some things don’t change.”

Her brown eyes flicked down to the tile pattern, but the weight of his gaze on her remained. “Sometimes they must.”

“Maybe.”

She looked up at the tail-end of his jump shot. The projectile swished into the un-lidded trash can.

“Nothing but net,” Tony declared, smiling for the first time since he arrived.

Ziva regarded him with a tilt of her head. “Why are you here?”

He had a bad habit of showing up where he did not belong.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting your night in with take-out and a 200-something-year-old document?”

“Actually, you are.”

Ziva trailed him as far as the archway, propping her shoulder against the wall. Curiosity delayed her from asking him to leave; she knew better than to believe she just happened to be on his late-night jogging route. She followed his movements around the bare room, his own curiosity about her on display.

“Huge step, becoming a gen-u-ine A-meri-can,” he enunciated in a poor Southern drawl. “Big commitment.” He nudged the pamphlet she left open on a side table. The Bill of Rights. “Sure you’re up to it?”

“Yes,” she assured him. “I came here to make a home for myself. Did you come here to question why I am becoming an American citizen?”

There was that smile again. “I’m here for your bed.”

“What?” Tony had made many a strange request of her over the years, but this took the pie.

“See how it looks in action. I was, after all, instrumental in picking it out for you.” His rubber face molded serious. “Quick peek and I’ll be out of your hair. Cross my heart.” His forefinger marked a lazy ‘X’ over the red appliqué OSU letters on his shirt.

She scoffed. “I do not think that is a good idea.”

“Now, Ziva.” A smirk played at the corner of his mouth. “Is that any way to treat the man who saved your life?”

“What kind of gratitude were you expecting? I have already thanked you…” Her gaze narrowed like the tightening of a screw. “…and forgiven you.”

“I don’t know.” Tony made it seem casual—the way he crossed the floor, chasing the serpentine path of his thoughts—and ending a few breaths away from her, close enough that she had to tip her chin to keep eye contact. “I guess I thought it would be different.”

“Different…how? Between us, you mean?” She used a shrug to push herself off the wall, swaying toward him. “We are partners again.”

A twitch at his right eye. “Is that all we are?”

“What else would we be?”

They were not unlike predators in the wild, circling the same prey. Circling each other. After a moment mirroring guarded stares and silences, she offered a quirking lip. He thawed. They both breathed out.

To hunt another day.

“If you have to ask, right?” Tony swiveled, resuming his examination of her sparse home. “Here’s a thought: hit IKEA and call it a day.”

“It is not that simple.”

“We could help.”

“We?”

“McGeekster, Abs, the Great Woodworker, me.” Tony yanked his foot up to his hip, stretching out his quad. He switched legs, rocking to find his balance. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“Why do you care? It is my home and my responsibility.”

Back on two feet, Tony reciprocated her earlier smile. “I care… because partners help partners get settled into their new life. You didn’t know that?”

Ziva shook her head. She’d never had a partner who survived as long as Tony, either.

His eyes went glassy. He was thinking, she knew. And heading for her door. Five minutes ago, she might have had to incapacitate him and drag him over the threshold. Now he stepped over it willingly, kicking his knees out behind him.

She vowed to set an early alarm, run an extra mile in the morning. Or two.

“Well, it’s true. About the settling in thing. Say the word.”

“Goodnight, Tony,” she said instead.

He winked. “Thanks for the water.”

Jogging backwards down the hall and almost tripping on her neighbor’s welcome mat was the last of him she saw before shutting the door on the drop-in.

#tiva #tiva fic amnesty #tiva fanfiction #tony and ziva #tat fic #ncis

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