#the plantaconda

[callmethehunter]

By now most of us are familiar with the not so well concealed gun in the blue satin pants

But look at him in this next one... he's excited to be there

Until the cameraman takes note and adjusts the lens ruining all the fun.

#robert plant #led zeppelin #the plantaconda #little robert anthony wants to come and play #loving gun

[lilrami]

someone here said that robert plants current "plantaconda" looks like a medical condition 😭😭😭🤣

#I STILL REMEMBER THAT COMMENT ITD SO FUNNY #like he clearly was packing before #BUT NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A MEDICAL CONDITION BABAHA #robert plant #jimmy page #john bonham #john paul jones #led zeppelin #plantaconda #personal

[ledoftherings]

Robert Plant is like the male equivalent of Marilyn Monroe.

Universal sex symbol whose so undeniably beautiful that even straight people of the same sex are like "yeah, I'd make out with them, no doubt" like just top tier universally acknowledged gorgeous man. Literal sex god.

#robert anthony #robert plant #robert anthony plant #led zeppelin #sex symbol #sex god #plantaconda

[brownskinsugarplum76]

NSFW A-Z: Robert Plant

I saw this done first by @xx-kurt-cocaine--xx . I loved your responses! It looked like a lot of fun, and I absolutely knew I had to offer my 2 cents on my lion bae. ☺️ I figured it would also be a good exercise to get me thinking about different conversations/scenarios I could write for my Robert fics. I enjoyed doing this a lot. Great idea you had! 👌🏽❤️

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Aftercare(what they’re like after sex)

*I think it's going to depend on the kind of sex. I think he'd be tender and doting after a romantic romp, or something rough: snuggling, flirting, soft voice conversation. But I could see him being energized and dragging a partner off on some sort of fun adventure after a quickie, a big ball of energy, all laughs, totally invigorated and totally capable of getting his partner to go along with whatever's on his mind.

Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partners)

*Robert is clearly very proud of little Robert Anthony and his two lemony friends. And his chest. And his hair. And his legs, with those little red shorts. Everything that he likes to show off is what he likes best.

*On a partner, I think he's going to like whatever her best asset is. I don't think he's exclusively a leg man, breast man, etc. I think women are like beautiful snowflakes to him, and he judges each one on her own merits.

Cum (anything to do with cum…basically I’m a disgusting person)

*I think he's down if the woman's down. Wherever she's comfortable with him releasing on her.

*As far as a woman squirting, our boy loves him some custard pie, in all of its stages of consumption. 😈

Dirty secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

*I think Robert would enjoy being dominated by a woman. I don't think he'd be ashamed of it, but I think it would be something he'd keep between himself and the woman.

*I think younger Robert, say, before the 90s, would not say no to a romp with an older woman.

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

*Robert was The Sex™ in the 70s. He has a PhD in sexology without ever cracking open a book. There's a reason why there's a lyric in one of his 90s songs says "your body's talking, I swear I've heard it all before."

Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

*I think he likes all the positions. I think he'd enjoy any positon that enables him to assert dominence, show strength, or sex someone deeply. But I think he also enjoys woman on top positions--I think he relishes being under the spell of a strong woman from time to time. I think it's going to depend on his mood which position(s) he chooses for play.

Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

*Goofy during sex? I think it's possible, if he was with someone that he cared about and was in a silly mood, but I think under normal circumstances he'd be intense or passionate or tender, or some combination of those things.

Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc)

*The older Robert gets, the better his hair on his head is maintained, and certainly his facial hair nowadays. He is not one for manscaping below the neck. We know that Robert's hair is some sort of reddish medium-brown, and the hair on his head has traveled to a lot of places on the color spectrum. The carpet and drapes are frequently out of sync color-wise.

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

*I think Robert craves Intimacy, closeness, touch, PDAs, etc. I think he can get deeply intimate anytime, anywhere. He is generally not afraid to be vulnerable, and he is capable of achieving intimacy in many ways. I once called him an hourly serial monogamist, because I feel like he's able to make deep connections quickly, with anyone, and I think he can bring that level of passion and intensity to any physical dalliance if he wants to. I'm sure he's had anonymous, impersonal sex, but I think forging a connection--no matter how short-lived--is something he enjoys as much as the physical activity.

Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

*Robert has a virtually unlimited supply of partners, but I think there were times when he pleasured himself. Like, I could see a morning orgasm being like a cup of coffee for him if he happened to be by himself. And we know poor Bonzo was subjected to a pre-Zeppelin incident. 😬

Kink (One or more of their kinks)

*I think exhibitionism and voyeurism would be normal. I also think light dom/sub stuff--Robert giving or receiving.

Location (Favourite places to do the do)

*Uh, wherever the mood strikes. Really. 😈 But I do think he would enjoy being outdoors. I fantasize about him being nude on his property. 🥰🥰🥰 I also love the idea of pool sex or shower sex.

Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

*An emotionally/intellectually willing partner who strikes his fancy. I think he would enjoy someone with whom he can have some flirtatious mental sparring. I think he enjoys being physically seductive, but I think he would highly value someone who builds attraction and tension with words. From a physical standpoint, I think he's more attracted to women who don't try too hard, natural beauties, women with quiet confidence. We know he has a type, but I think he could be captivated by just about any woman, if the vibes are right.

NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

*Animals or anything that is excessively harmful. He's a lover, not a punisher. I think narrow-minded women would also be a turn-off. Definitely narrow-minded or prudish sexually, but also narrow-minded in non-sexual ways. I feel like he'd be less likely to engage someone whose worldview is limited/exclusive/negative.

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

*Loves giving and receiving. A lot.

*Very good at giving; he adjusts his approach to whatever is turning on an individual woman. He's not going to stop until she's a complete, trembling, wet mess of nerves. And he might just keep going after that, to take her to new heights of pleasure, as much as to turn himself on by turning her on.

*When it comes to receiving, I think he would really enjoy losing himself in the woman's actions. I think he would immensely enjoy being deep throated, but I don't think he's going to expect every woman to be able to do it. I think he'd be most likely to let the woman lead the action, until he closes in on his climax. Then, he might be more likely to more forcefully hold her head in place or try to control her action.

Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

*I like to think he's slow and sensual and then builds up to fast and rough, although I think that would change with mood/context. I'm sure he'd go for just the fast and rough immediately after a concert. And just slow and sensual would be appealing when he returns home after a tour.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

*I think they'd be fairly common during a tour and less common at home. I think he'd place value on quickies for concert logistics and/or to "let off steam" immediately after a concert, or when curiosity about a new partner gets the best of him.

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

*Certainly up to the risks of public sex. Up to the risk of physically changing positions. Up to sleeping with the partner of someone he knows? I don't think we can rule that out. 👀😒🤫 I don't think seducing a woman in the first place, putting himself out there, is any kind of risk that would stress him out. I do think he would be less likely to engage a risky person--a criminal or someone else who functions outside of positive society norms--he's not one for drama or bad vibes.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

*How many do you want? How many do you need? He's your man, unless he's super extra intoxicated or in an emotional funk.

Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

*I'm sure he's used toys, but I don't think it's a regular occurrence. I think he'd be most likely to use toys from time to time with someone with whom he has a serious relationship, to spice things up here and there.

Unfair (How much they like to tease)

*Robert is an evil, teasing bastard when he wants to be. Teasing with words, teasing with touch and kisses, with dat Plantaconda… Again, I think it strokes his ego but also stokes the enjoyment of his partner. It's not for the sake of asserting control or anything just what he thinks is best for everyone's pleasure.

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

*LOUD unless he has laryngitis or something. 😂😂😂 Although I think older Robert wouldn't feel the need to be a loud to express his enjoyment. I think he would LOVE for his partner to be loud.

*As far as sounds, choose from the menu of the LZ discography. 😉😈😁

Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

*I like to think Robert at least made out with a guy at least once in the 70s. We know he kissed Peter Grant, Michael Des Barres, Phil Collins… Why not? A lot of men experimented then, and I think it's plausible that Robert did, too.

X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

*Don't need an X-Ray for that. You can see it from aerial shot photos. You can damn near see it from outer space. I can't see the big E on the eye chart well without glasses, but I know I could make out that Legendary Ample Manhood™ without difficulty if someone snatched my glasses. 🤷🏽‍♀️😉

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?

*Very high. Well above average. He's gonna want it. He's gonna get it. And he won't have to beg.

ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

*I think he'd trail off pretty quickly. I think he'd put a lot of energy into it and it would eventually wear him out after a few times. I think he probably was also just generally tired in the 70s, after the drugs and adrenaline of performing wore off.

What do you all think?

[callmethehunter]

Robert with a serpent at the Riot House

#robert plant #led zeppelin #in the jungle #the mighty jungle #the plantaconda sleeps tonight #classic rock

[callmethehunter]

Source: gifs by @squeezemylemon

For the love of All that is holy!! Finally!! A sighting of the elusive Plantaconda during its mating ritual. Notice the increase in size and rigid appearance. Truly a great discovery for our cockological studies. 😉🍋

Also thank you to @waywaydowninside for the terminology "Plantaconda" to describe this phenomenon.

#robert plant #Roberts Plantaconda #mating ritual #he's definitely feeling it #since it's going all the way to the hip #across his thigh etc #and i like it

[callmethehunter]

Hey I ABSOLUTELY love the Led Zep fandom. I mean, we all gush in poems and metaphors when it comes to Robert but also, lemons? Plantaconda? Cockology? These make me crack up always, all the time, 24/7. Amazing. I love it unironically

Hi Anon! I totally agree! The Led Zep fandom is special it’s home to the best fanfic, beautiful unique artwork, as well as archivists and historians. We have a balance of facts; fun and uninhibited lust that we express in our various blogs. I, for one, am quite proud of this fandom because we respect different view points. We tolerate each other’s idiosyncrasies and we welcome all who love Led Zeppelin. Negativity and bashing are not welcome here and I’ve seen haters literally be run off on more than one occasion.

Roberts lemons are cause for celebration 🍋🍋😁And boy do we celebrate!!! He’s inspired quite a few words, some of which you’ve already mentioned. (shoutout to @waywaydowninside and @brownskinsugarplum76 for creating many of them) Here’s visual samples of a few more

Doublicious

Major fabric displacement

The “roll of quarters” dba (dick bulge alert)

Anyone feel free to add on 😁 thanks for writing !!

#anon #answer #LZ fandom #terms of endearment #send me anons and mail !! #i dont get hardly any lol

[brownskinsugarplum76]

Happy Birthday @waywaydowninside ! 🎁🎉🎉🎉🎂❤️❤️❤️

I missed the day of our O.G. Leo lady. 😔 I hope it was a good one!

I miss you around these parts, your vast knowledge of Robert and your creativity. I am forever bowing down to you for adding Plantaconda to our everyday Tumblr lexicon.

I know you don't limit yourself to one Robert... Have 'em all, chica! 😉❤️❤️❤️

#Robert plant #Led zeppelin #classic rock #Happy birthday

[callmethehunter]

Happy Birthday 🎁🎉 @waywaydowninside

My dear friend and fellow HF (otherwise known as La Wayway or simply “my homie” ) another year has passed and here we are again celebrating your birthday!! Kahil Gibran says on friendship:

When you part from your friend, you grieve not. For that which you love most in her is clearer in her absence; as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain

Though miles apart we remain connected, and although we don’t talk as frequently due to real life stuff, you are always just a text or phone call away. Thank you for always lending me an ear when I need to share good news as well as bad; for trusting me; for the laughter and the outrageously silly stuff we’ve come up with. Here’s some highlights I think you might remember over the past year 2 years .”ok who you gonna be? I’ll be La Prude; HF 🦊 dude that was a low point for him- but victory for us! lol; origins and mememe; cockology= study of the plantaconda; red cherry 🍒 blouse and the butterfly 🦋 blouse; DBAs; Chicago 2017. Robert and his music brought us together but cosmic energy has kept us in touch and connected despite the distance and time.

So here’s to another year of growth and maturity!! 🥰🥂 🍷🍾 🥂 🍷

May it bring you joy, good health, and exciting new horizons. 🌈 ☀️💫🌈

#happy bday wayway #hope your day is special and filled with happiness and peace of mind #drink up girl #ill have a don julio in your honor fosho 😉

[brownskinsugarplum76]

One day, in a fic, I'm going to liken the Plantaconda to a divining rod that finds all the water. 🤔😈🤨🙊

#3am thoughts #Yeah... #He makes us think all the things #🤷🏽‍♀️

[callmethehunter]

What do you think is the least attractive Robert phase? What's your second choice of drink after Don Julio? Are your cockology skills strictly for photographic assessment, or have you done field research IRL? Advice for assessing the virility of a live specimen on the low? 😈

Least attractive phase for Robert had to have been around the mid 2000s. God Bless Him (see pics from 2005)

2nd choice of drink after Don Julio would be ice cold Stella Artois in the bottle. I like to drink it from the bottle rather than pour it into a glass

Cockological skills have to be developed for both aspects of the research. Theoretical constructs in the lab are one thing. But nothing is quite as powerful as the hands-on research out in the natural setting. 🤓 you may remember when data was being collected to create categories for DBAs , many researchers took to the field to gather more information on each category. Those were magical days for this field of cockology my dear friend. 🍋 🍋

Dick Bulge Alert: Tips for assessing virility of the DBA specimen vary from one case to the next. I’ve had to change my tactics a few times to really capture its essence. But a well placed hand 🖐 or mouth 👄 can usually go a long way to assess the finer details of any category of DBA be it a more basic category 1 all the way to category 6 plantacondas. 😎

[brownskinsugarplum76]

do ya have any good groupie stories about robert? i suppose you know what kind of stories i'm referring to. OH, and i'm asking for a friend, of COURSE!!! ;))

Ha! Hi, Anon! 🙋🏽‍♀️ I don't know how exciting my stories are, because most women have kept details of trysts with Robert to themselves. 😕But the first story that came to mind was that Robert was asked to have his Plantaconda immortalized by Cynthia Plaster Caster, but it never happened. I've heard conflicting things: Robert says that he was turned off by how she and a friend were trying to turn him on, and she says something awful happened with Robert and Richard Cole. Either way, we were robbed of tangible evidence of Robert's, um, prowess.

There is a Jimi Hendrix plaster mold out there, though--he was her first celeb molding, after perfecting her technique on friends.

According to this article, she made 48 penis casts in total, and she has displayed them in exhibits a few times.

While I was fact-checking this, I saw some info on the Butter Queen here. She was name-checked by Robert at a concert and was very popular in the 60s/70s. The stories say that using butter as lube was her schtick. She was interviewed by Oprah in the late 80s. She died after a fire in her house in January 2018. She was 67.

Last, here is a boatload of info on Audrey Hamilton from the LZ boards. And here's a pic of her posted in 2012! Someone interviewed her, and she said she hit it off with Robert right away, and that they were still in touch with each other in the 80s.

#ask #answered #Robert plant #Led zeppelin #jimi hendrix #jimi hendrix experience #the jimi hendrix experience #Cynthia Plaster Caster #Butter Queen #audrey hamilton #Groupies #60s #1960s #70s #1970s

[brownskinsugarplum76]

Had an explicit Robert dream... No Plantaconda, but it was, um, still a good dream. 90s Robert.

#personal #Robert dreams