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canon-gabriel-quotes · 3 months

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Transcript -

Gabriel : *heavy breathing and grunting* Bastard.

Useless bucket of bolts. Yeah, you better run!

Load back to your- Ah shit, that was hard. Load back to your little checkpoint.

Yeah, go ahead. Go P rank the other levels.

Oh… I’m sorry. Can-can-can I? Excuse me, can I help you?

Columbo : Oh, uh, hi there. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

Uh, I’m looking for somebody.

Uh, Gabriel is it? Is that you? Is that who I’m lookin for?

Listen, I just gotta say, you did an amazing job uh… Fighting off that uh.

What’d ya-what’d ya call it?

Uh, you called it a…

Gabriel : A mere object?

Columbo : That’s right. A mere object.

Phenomenal work.

I gotta tell ya. Robots, I don’t trust em myself.

Ya know, I had-I had this one episode where uh, there was this robot named Rob and uh-

Gabriel : Uh, yes.

That’s very fascinating, but could you perhaps get on with your introduction?

Columbo : Uh, certainly. So I’m, uh, I’m lieutenant Columbo. Uh, I’m with the LAPD. Uh, I'm in the homicide department.

Gabriel : Homicide? You can’t kill a machine.

Columbo : No no no! Of course not. But um… Well… Ya can certainly love one.

Gabriel : D-d-d-detective I- I don’t- I don’t know what you’re implying there with that statement!

As you can tell I… Despise machines and wouldn’t think about doing so- Loving them, I mean.

Columbo : Yes, of course uh. Absolutely, it’s completely unthinkable.

Except, well. While I was- while I was over here and I opened this door and uh fourteen- fourteen V1 body pillows fell out. Along with a buncha the plushies.

Uh, and I just can’t imagine how ya- how ya happened upon something like that by accident.

It’s a little ridiculous! Uh, frankly.

Gabriel : Uh, no no no, listen.

Detective. I can explain, okay?

Those belong to- uh! That guy over there!

*Filth-like scream*

Gabriel : Yeah! A real freak!

Some kinda pervert. I don’t know why we keep him around.

But uh, I-I have nothing to do with it.

Columbo : Well, ya see, I would believe- I would believe that, but uh.

It’s just that- Well we had the boys at the lab run these pillows and we found your cum- We found your DNA all over em, uh.

You’re-You’re under arrest, I’m killing you.

Gabriel : K-hah. Kill me? *laughs*

Oh detective.

Columbo : Oh. Aw fuck.

Gabriel : I’m afraid you’ve made a grave mistake.

Because, in fact… What is going to happen instead…

Is actually what I’m gonna- AHHHG MOTHERFUCKER

I’LL FUCKIN KILL YOU

SON OF A BITCH

AHHG YOU BASTARD

I’LL RIP YOU APART

PIECE OF SHIT

YOU FUCK

ASSHOLE

BITCH

*Grunting*

Oh Shit.

Oh. What have I done?

V1 : Bro, tell me you didn’t just kill a fucking cop.

Gabriel : The law will be here any second now…

Machine, flush the drugs.

V1 : No way, bro. Let’s smoke that.

Gabriel : All of it?!?

Hm… One last ride…

Well, alright.

*coughing his lungs out*

V1 : No Gabriel, holding it in doesn’t do anything!

*Gabriel continues to cough his lungs out*

End of transcription

Audio source part 1

Audio source part 2

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #alt title was: columbo interrupted their RP session #gabes reaction to someone getting in between him and v1 (or at least pillows of it) is to rip them to shreds. yeah i mean that checks out!!#the way he says 'Some kinda pervert' is so funny to me i cant stop replaying it #this took me. so long. oh my god. no post tomorrow. im not strong enough.#sanest bit of 2024 #and probably the longest bit ever. holy shit.#also he used the wrong filter for columbo here but here is my totally Canon Explanation #If they are in hell he had to become a husk.. duh.

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optionalgs · 10 months

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The things the recent Superman episode did right:

Monsieur Mallah and the Brain: "okay, yes, we are mad scientists and maybe a little evil, but at least we're not cops/the military-industrial complex."

Also them being gay and saying fuck this shit, we're going somewhere where we can be married mad scientists in peace.

Jimmy KNEW ALL ALONG becuse of course he did, he's Clark's best friend! He's known him for years!

Sam Lane being presented as this incredibly ruthless leader, but his body is just so dad. Look at him. He's just a dad. A dad who says things like "we will rip Superman from the sky and bury him."

#my adventures with superman #monsieur mallah #the brain #maws #jimmy olsen

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bluecollarmcandtf · 9 months

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The New Normal

A week ago, our reality shifted. Every hardened construction worker across the globe threw on his hardhat, leather gloves, and steel-toed boots to march onto the job site, but they didn't put much else on...

It just seemed so normal to them. They all woke up one day and didn't feel any need to dress anymore after donning their tightest underwear. Wearing nothing but undies to work was not out of the ordinary in any way. Everyone knows that construction workers have to work in their underwear.

It's how they beat the heat.

All the workers have embraced the new cliche, exposing their meaty muscles and sweaty body hair to the entire city. The only thing a passing civilian sees is the new stereotype. Everyone is desensitized to the sight of barely clad men lumbering around and sweating all over the machinery.

Most people jeer and catcall the manual laborers. After all, it's completely normal for the blue-collar workers to be the ones getting harassed by others on the street. Construction workers hate when all the businessmen roam the city to whistle and holler gross things their way.

"Hey, brick-pig!" a young executive yells as he passes the sweaty worker, "That tool between your legs seems a bit small. Let me know if you need a real man for the job!"

The hairy laborer turns his head to ignore the comment, but he jumps as a hand pinches his ass.

"Just had to cop a feel," another suit admits with a laugh before sauntering off.

Those white-collar jerks made every day difficult for them, but no one was worse than the gays.

For reasons no construction worker understood, homosexuals completely intimidated them now. It didn't matter how masculine or brawny the laborers were, everyone's legs shook when a twink walked onto the site.

"Hey, daddy," a skinny blonde boy purred, slinking his way towards the biggest worker.

"Hey," the man's gruff voice came out as a nervous whisper. He could barely even meet the twink's big blue eyes.

"Why don't you tell your boss you're done for the day," he sang, fixing his frail palm over the bulge between the man's legs, "You're coming back to my place."

Scared to disagree, the brawny construction worker shuffled away and found the contractor to explain that had to leave. He just couldn't bring himself to stand up to that fruitcake. The boy was obviously gay, but he hoped the kid would let him go after a quick blowjob. Hopefully, the guy wouldn't be too pushy with him.

The rest of the crew averted their eyes and continued their work. They didn't want the homo to call them out too.

It's terrible to constantly have eyes on their bodies; they cringe at all the comments about their fat asses; and they are tired of accidentally ripping their tight underwear when they bend over. The new work uniform is not a favorite for any construction crew, but no one can really imagine dressing another way.

It's the new normal.

#gay hypnosis #mind control #hypno story #hypnotized #male transformation #gay mind control #servant #gay ai #gay ai art

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tartarusknight · 1 year

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Eddie had this thing where he'd lie to the simplest questions. Honestly, it wasn't even because he thought it was funny or that he felt uncomfortable. It was just that sometimes someone would ask him something, and a lie would come out. Well, it wasn't the truth either.

Because Eddie grew up having to lie. His dad told him to lie to the cops. His mom told him to lie to his dad. Wayne told him not to let people know why Eddie was kicked out, that he was a queer. Soon, lying became a part of his performance, and Eddie was always the performer.

But eventually, it got to the pint where he'd panic at the thought of telling the truth in moments when he didn't feel in control. So he'd lie about the most basic things.

Like once Dustin asked what his favorite color was, and without hesitating, Eddie replied, "Forest green." Like sure, green was a nice color, but he always loved red. And he didn't want to be like, "Haha, I was just lying. I like red," so he gave Dustin a smile and continued on.

It never really was a big thing. He could just confuse people later when someone inevitably asked again. However, there were a few things that started to go downhill. He moved in with Wayne and told the older man he was allergic to celery. He wasn't, but he told this huge story that had Wayne believing. So, Wayne went out of his way to make sure he was always good.

Or when Gareth asked if he played anything else and he lied and spun a story of playing piano with his mother. And the time when Mike asked if he was doing okay after the Upside Down and Eddie went off on a tangent about how well he was adjusting. (Although he's sure the kid knew that was a lie)

Anyways, don't yell at him. He knew it was wrong, okay? He just could stop it. And he wished he could when it came to Steve. Steve made him nervous, honestly. He was hot and kind, and he always listened to Eddie. Three perfect qualities. And even better, Eddie had watched him rip a demobat apart with his bare hands. So yeah, if Steve wasn't kind, Eddie would be scared of him, but... Eddie mostly just wants to bite him. (Aka, he has a pathetic crush on him)

And when Eddie got crushes, his anxiety spiked, and so did his lying. Which wasn't going great. Steve asked if he was busy, Eddie spun this story of a trip to Indy with Gareth. Steve asked what his favorite food was, and Eddie said he liked smoothies more than solid food. Steve asked him what the black hanky stood for, and Eddie said how he wanted to be a pirate when he was younger. He asked more and more and Eddie continued to lie.

However, it got really annoying when Robin asked him, as she stood next to Steve if he was a friend of Dorothy's, and Eddie pretended not to know what they were talking about. Even as their expressions dimmed and Eddie continued on like nothing was wrong.

Or when Steve asked if he had his eye on anyone and Eddie's mouth started up while his brain froze. He wasn't exactly sure what he said, but he knew it wasn't that he was gay and in love with him, so....

Eventually, Erica called him out on it. They were watching a movie he lied and said he had never seen before. She looked at him with an annoyed expression on her face. "Why do you do that?"

Everyone looked confused, but Eddie just looked away, "do what?"

She snorted, "Lie."

He tensed up but forced himself to shrug. She didn't look like she bought it. He huffed, and words just spilled out. "Lie? Why would I lie? There's no reason to. Honestly, Lady Applejack, I don't understand why you would-"

"Cut the shit, Edward." She snapped.

"Erica," a chorus sounded from the group, and Eddie winced.

"But you do lie a lot." Dustin said softly, and Eddie felt like he might make a break for it.

"He doesn't lie a lot," Steve said, jumping to his aide. Which made Eddie feel like dying honestly. Robin nodded, but the kids didn't look convinced.

Dustin sat up, "Eddie what's your favorite food?"

And the words just spilled out, "this is ridiculous. I'm not a pathologic liar."

But Nancy was on the scent now. "Then answer the question."

And he would, but he knows he gave each kid a different answer. "So, I have to prove myself you?" He didn't even put any hurt in his tone. No, he was too busy trying not to break down.

"No he does-"

Except Eddie didn't want Steve to defend him. "Don't," he begged, and Steve's eyes widened. "Fuck," he jumped up and stormed out of the living room. He could hear the party, but words seemed to blur together.

His childhood had been ruined because of liars, and he had become one. Now, he'd ruin his future because he became who his parents raised after all. They'd all realize he couldn't help it. That he was just a coward in every way.

"Eddie!" Steve called, and Eddie pulled open his van door, but Steve shoved it shut. "Eddie, I'm sorry they have no -"

Eddie turned towards him and could feel the tears falling. "Stop defending me!" He snapped and watched Steve take a step forward before he faltered. "They're fucking right! Don't you get that! I'm a Liar, Steve!"

Steve finally took the step closer, "It's okay."

Eddie knocked him back, "no its not! I just can't stop it! My mouth moves on its own, and I can help it! My nerves get the best of me, and I say shit like, no, Steve, I'm not gay! I'm completely straight! I'm totally not in love with you! But I'm going to pretend to be busy so I don't have to deal with the anxiety of lying to you day in and day out!"

"Oh," Steve says softly, and Eddi looks away. "You love me?"

Eddie's mouth starts up, "what I didn't -"

Steve covers his mouth, "I've been trying to get a read on you for months. God, you have not been helpful. So I'm just going to say that I like you too. I really do, and I'm like a hair trigger from loving you, honestly. Robin was sure that you weren't straight, but then you monologed about how badass Nancy was and well..." Eddie winced and flushed at the idea of saying Nancy was his type. "You don't have to be scared of us. You're our friend, and we care about you."

Eddie nods, and Steve pulls his hand back. "I'm a terrible person."

Steve snorts, "Nah, you're human. Robin rambles when she's nervous. You lie. I flirt. The holy trinity."

Eddie rolls his eyes, "Oh yeah, a holy trinity."

Steve clears his throat, "So, if I'm not reading this wrong, you'd go on a date with me?"

Eddie nods, "yeah."

"Good."

A Part 2 done by @fairy-princette

#and everyone bullies Eddie into accepting their love #he secretly has a huge tell and it gets to the point he couldn't even lie if he wants to #steddie #steve harrington #steve x eddie #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie needs a hug #i dont know why i made this

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wishmaster · 4 months

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Hey Billy, I just moved to the big city of Chicago, I was all excited to live my life as an out and proud gay dude. But I moved in with this dumb, straight homophobic jock. Could you make my life easier and let us get along?

Gay as in Happy this time!

Bro is massive, ripped, bet he gets tons of girls, but I can't have him ruining my boys fresh new adventure. Here have him drink from this jar, it'll solve your problems and make you life fun.

While he thinks it's some protein powder his new roomie gave him, he's mistaken.

The next morning he's half the size he used to be, thinking he's sick he lays back down.

the next day he awakens and has changed yet again, this time he emerges looking like your dream boyfriend, that Rockstar look complete with tattoos based on drawing you used to doodle in your notebooks. his brooding good looks and talented guitar playing shocks you. But what surprises you even more is when he comes over and greets you with a kiss. Good morning babe, he says as you cop a feel of his great ass in those leather pants. He gives you a look as your kiss becomes more passionate, he whisks you off to the bedroom you now both share as what was your bedroom was now a studio for both his music and your art. Life has adjusted, the boy you met when you moved in no longer exists, instead his caring, sensitive gay double replaced him and instead of being homophobe he was fucking madly in love with you and you him. Maybe the windy city wouldn't be so bad after all.

#male transformation #body transformation #twisted wish

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cipher-fresh · 4 months

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After reading that article ripping the Hazbin Hotel Amazon Prime show to shreds, I want to say I think that the show’s central conceit of the main character trying to redeem sinners so they can go to Heaven and avoid Heaven’s systemic murder of sinners, combined with the show’s deeply Puritan ideas about sex under a veneer of “be gay do crime” kind of queerness, is incredibly indicative of conservative ideology about cops that refuses to accept that there are structural problems of bigotry in major systems, and doesn’t understand that putting bandaids on a problem (redeeming individual sinners) doesn’t solve the structural problem (Heaven enacting mass murder). It seems to me that at no point do the characters see the status quo of Heaven killing people to keep the population low as something to be questioned- it’s just seen as a fact of life and not something the main characters could try to change. (Which would be a much more interesting central idea for a cartoon!)

#updates from cipher #i have not watched the show and i do not want to so i thank the person who watched it to write the article for their sacrifice #analysis

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silly-l1ttle-guy · 6 months

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drop every headcanon of the bucci gang NOW!

ON IT BOSS!!!

--- pookie bear bruno hcs first <3

BRUNO BUCCIARATI IS 100% GAY FOR LEONE ABBACCHIO

they just kinda live together

bruabba holds a special place in my heart

bruno's probably stressed out 24/7

VERY FEMININE GUY

hes got soft features yk?

probably spends like 3 hours doing his hair in the morning

ISTG HE PROBABLY SMELLS SO GOOD

I like to think that he legally adopted Fugo after fugso bugso joined that gang

SHUT UP IT MAKES ME HAPPY

poor guy overworks himself WAY too often

he also has the most gorgeous eyelashes you'll ever see

and they're natural, too

THIS MAN HAS EYEBAGS

he's tired af half the time, idk what you expected

he tries to help fugo control his anger (bc he's a loving mother) (giorno does it better tho)

i reckon bruno's pansexual tbh, he just seems like he wouldn't give a shit about his partner's gender

he likes going fishing

brought Abbacchio along one time

abba got seasick and threw up

he likes to accessorize his hair (hence the mitochondria hair clips)

sometimes he'll let the others accessorize his hair, too

trish makes it look really cute

abba makes it look stunning (bc it's his boyfriend)

narancia just puts random shit in his hair

Mista sings loudly (and badly) to be a little shit while he does Bruno's hair (it turns out surprisingly ok)

giorno deadass just puts a shit ton of stars in his hair

fugo gets mad and almost rips a chunk of Bruno's hair out

Bruno's guilty pleasure is midnight snacks

abbacchio caught him eating a whole ass tub of ice cream while watching il postino: the postman at like 2 in the morning

they watched it together and cuddled afterwards

hot goth

gay for bruno

he probably watches those make up youtube channels

if he didn't join passione he could be a make up artist

lets trish practice on him

HE SEES NARANCIA AS HIS SON AND YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

he's full on protective of nara too

i like to give abbacchio sharper features when i draw him tbh

also a larger nose

and while we're at it, let's hook that bad boy (the nose)

he and bruno go on wine testing dates

he has very frequent and reoccurring nightmares

(its why he sleeps with bruno)

his parents cut contact when they found out he was a dirty cop :(

this man saw narancia on his first day in the gang and accepted his fate as a father LMAO

he's a gay man and you can't tell he's not. Never felt attraction towards women

he feels like time moves by too fast. Everything happens so quickly and he wishes he could go back and just relive certain parts of his life over and over again because he feels like everything happens so quickly now that he's older and it overwhelms him (this definitely isn't me projecting what're you talking about)

moody blues is sort of the representation of this

SENTIENT MOODY BLUES SUPREMACY BY THE WAY

Moody blues is curvy and i won't accept anything else

make moody look goddamn feminine

not too feminine obviously but like

moody looks like a woman compared to abbacchio

tells people he can't dance but he definitely can

just play the right music and give him enough wine and he'll be dancing like he's never danced before (only in private tho)

YOOUU CAN DANCE, YOOUU CAN JIIVVEEEEE~~

EVERYTIME I LISTEN TO HALF-DECADE HANGOVER BY WILL WOOD I JUST THINK OF ABBACCHIO

and maybe euthanasia by will wood too

not even kidding, abbacchio has the same body type as a greek god

also the strongest guy in the team

the guy that has a dream

GIORNO. WHERE DO I FUCKING START.

I love this weird ass fucking guy

gay for fugo. that's all I'm gonna say.

I KNOW HE ACTED FRUITY W/ MISTA BUT IT'S BC HE'S A LITTLE SHIT WHO LIKES TO FLIRT WITH HIS FRIENDS AS A JOKE

not abba or bruno tho (they're too old for his taste)

remember that one seen where he and mista are up against cioccolata (fuck him btw) and they do that gay ass pose?

prime example of giorno being a little shit

putting his hand down mista's pants was an accident by the way, he just said "fuck it" and went with it

he probably showed the gang the thing he could do with his ear

they had very mixed reactions

one day (before the gang) he woke up and saw his roots were blond and he just went like "sigh, guess I have to grow my hair out and become barbie

THIS MAN RIGHT HERE IS THE TWINK

also bc his dad is dio I like to think that he sunburns easily

he can also see really well and the dark

"It's so dark in here, I can't see shit!" "I can, there's a light switch over there."

everyone was confused as hell bc it was pitch black in that room

this man is gay. he likes BOYS and BOYS ONLY

i like to think Giorno's a mischievous lil guy

he does something silly then giggles and runs away

it's to make up for the fact that he didn't have a proper childhood

ALSO CURLY HAIR GIORNO SUPREMACY

his hair is gorgeous and luxurious AND SO FUCKING CURLY

he uses about 20 hair products every day (21 if he's going on a date)

he can calm fugo down so easily too

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU NARANCIA-" "Hi fugo!" "Oh, hey Giorno."

it's really scary (according to narancia and mista)

this man loves gardening

born to be a gardener, forced to be a gangstar

autistic (it runs in the family)

the stink

Mista is the type of guy who showers once or twice a week

he only washes his clothes when they get too dirty

I like to make this man a little wider honestly

GIVE THIS MAN SOME CHUB PLEASE

he's muscular, but he's gotta have a little meat on there too

I like to think that Mista outright REFUSES to shave

the only place that he can grow barely any hair is his face

never shaved his face. He doesn't have much facial hair and he'll be damned if he ever has to get rid of the little that he has

bffs with trish btw

they make fun of each other all the time

in a friendly way

he honestly looks the least gay out of everyone

probably bi with a heavy preference towards girls (he had a boyfriend one time tho)

STINKS SO BAD IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY

sometimes he shoves Narancia's face in his armpit for fun

I'm not even kidding Narancia probably threw up one time bc Mista stank so bad

older brother figure to EVERYONE

Giorno? that's his baby brother. Narancia? his favourite brother. Trish? his little sister. Fugo? that's his angry little brother.

I have so many mista headcanons it's unreal

his hair is so fucking curly istg

and it's black too

very short tho. also super greasy

his love language is physical touch, but not in the usual physical touch way

he won't really hug people or hold hands or just do something normal, oh no

my guy likes to pick people up and throw them over his shoulder

it's definitely not to show off how strong he is

definitely

everything about him is so crusty

he literally gets along with anyone tho

you can't tell me this guy DOESN'T smoke weed

not very often but like

once every month or two he'll get high to relax

he stopped after Giorno took over as boss (bc yk, drugs are a no no)

he probably thinks France isn't real tbh (but as a joke to annoy fugo)

I HAVE MORE MISTA HEADCANONS BUT I HAVE TO CUT IT SHORT BECAUSE I NEED TO MOVE ON TO THE OTHERS

angry strawb (lots of angst in this one)

fugo is deeply in love with Giorno (FUGIO FOR LIFE)

a little bit of angst warning btw

bc of his past, fugo HATES physical touch

if someone touches him he will flinch

very uncomfortable in crowded places

Mista's love language is physical touch, but he refrains himself from touching Fugo

it's really sweet

"HEY FUGO! Lemme give you a high-five! Wait, no, you don't like that. Have this cool rock I found instead!"

he's trying

Fugo really appreciates it

after phf, he let Mista be one of the two people who can touch him (the other person is Giorno)

Fugo just randomly hugged him one day and that was that

he was really distraught when he found out Narancia, Bruno and abba died

especially Bruno

like I said before, Bruno adopted him after he joined the gang, so he genuinely saw Bruno as a father figure

definitely called Bruno "dad" in private

He genuinely cried when he realized he missed Bruno's funeral

MOVING ON TO THE NON ANGSTY STUFF BC IM GONNA CRY

when he's a bad mood, he listens to music with Abbacchio (his dad's cool boyfriend who he looks up to)

will correct any and all spelling or grammar mistakes

nerd supreme

i like to headcanon that Fugo's albino

(MANGA FUGO FOR LIFE)

he's really sensitive to sunlight because of it

his vision isn't that good, too

it's not bad enough to the point where he can't read and all that, but it definitely bothers him

since it wasn't too serious, he got some glasses that corrected his vision

he only really wears them when he's reading now, but he used to wear them all the time when he was younger

GOD I HAVE A LOT OF FUGO HEADCANONS

sometimes he wakes up and there's just a bouquet of flowers at the foot of his bed (I WONDER WHO THAT WAS HMMMM)

Narancia's like a little brother towards him

he doesn't care that nara's a year older than him, that's his brother

genuinely will forget to eat if he isn't reminded (me projecting)

i have more but i'm gonna have to end it here

BABY BOY <3

I LOVE NARANCIA I HAVE A NARANCIA PLUSHIE (and a giorno one but that's less important)

he originally had really good eyesight, but after his eye got infected his eyesight just kinda went bad

his eyes expired

but seriously though (woah no way, silly little guy can be serious?), he's almost blind in the eye that got infected

doesn't wanna wear glasses bc "they'll ruin his reputation"

he's also really short compared to everyone else in the team

he's really insecure about it

can and will fight anyone who says something even remotely teases him for his height

low iron for sure (me too bud, me too)

Abbacchio just took on the role as his father and makes sure he eats all his food

"But it tastes badddd" "Eat it or I'll shove it down your throat. Also, it has good iron."

he ate it, but was very pouty about it the whole time

mista will point at things made of iron and say shit like "that's what you need" or "you should eat that to get your iron levels up"

skinny but he's really strong

my guy has a six pack but looks scrawny as hell

Mista's jealous of him lmao

"Why do YOU get a six pack?!" "because you're fat"

Mista then forced Narancia to smell his armpits (they were rank)

he does a lot of shit with Mista lmao

partners in crime

he got high with mista one time and never did it again

oddly flexible

he's probably dyslexic

the girlboss

live laugh love Trish

lesbian fr

she practices makeup on Abbacchio

another one that sees abba as a father figure

they point each other's nails and go shopping together

Mista's bff fr

they do karaoke together

yk that one tiktok sound that was that like "OH SHIT IT'S IN KOREAN" and then starts singing it perfectly anyway

that's her and Mista

Mista's the one that sings it lmao

i don't have that many headcanons for trish tbh

she likes to try out new hairstyles a lot

they're always short tho

she doesn't like growing out her hair

says it's too much of hassle

we love trish in the household

she has freckles (from doppio)

yk those weird ass dots diavolo has in his hair? she has those but they're less noticeable

talks shit about people with abbacchio

she likes ranting about stuff to giorno bc he's a good listener

big fan of scented candles

gave mista soap for his birthday

she has frequent headaches (something she got from doppio, bc i hc that he has frequent headaches)

ANYWAY THAT'S IT FOR NOW

do you wanna hear about my la squadra headcanons? Doppio and Diavolo??? PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY GOOD HEADCANONS JUST LET ME RANT-

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christianstepmoms · 2 years

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I think all cops should kill themselves live on TV especially your shitty dad your gay husband and lesbian girlfriend straight up shotgun mouthwash skull ripped open brain paste in an open ditch

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theehorsepusssy · 7 months

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TheeHorsepussys Portland : Vaseline Alley aka Stark Street aka Harvey Weinstein ( I always get that mixed up) Harvey Milk Blvd

Documenting some gay-ass history for the kids

Red Arrow - 2 blocks to Touche. Not gay but spent most of the 90s in that bar. Fancy looking dining room/pool room but mostly service industry clientele. Hard to find a spot to do drugs discreetly.

Green - Everyday Music. Where to sell vinyl for dope money.

Yellow - Big BIG abandoned, scary building. Looked haunted. Was eventually renovated. But gave you the heebie-jeebies walking past it at night. Gay bashing zone

Green Arrow - The City Nightclub. Underage nightclub. Chicken Hawks(is that Gus Van Sant?), lots of drugs, good DJ downstairs, GREAT DJ upstairs

Red - The Henry Weinhard Brewery (demolished) Made the area smell really, really awful. Gagging thinking of it.

(Stark Street starts to the right here. It looks like they built some weird barrier in the intersection..probably cuz drunk gays in middle of street)

Orange - The Bathhouse. Home away from home. I would sell rip-off size bags of meth to subsidize my habit. Sucked a huge penis here. Gagging thinking of it. Gay bar downstairs was called either Flossies or Silverado or both. Male strippers. Would buy my shitty little bags of dope.

Blue Arrow - at one moment in the 90s, a sex club I think owned by Fantasy Video. Robert would meet his side piece there . The director Todd Haynes, I fuzzily recall reading, was a patron. I went once. Weird vibe. There was a plaque on the wall outside the entrance commemorating the recording of Louie, Louie.

Orange - The Eagle. Bar where it was common to have sex. I saw a guy take a foot up his butt. Cops started randomly coming in to cock block. There is a new bar called the Eagle up in NE Portland up by the Heroin Fred Meyer (I suppose they all are now)

Blue - Transient hotel above the store I hated buying cigarettes from but can't recall why. Maybe it was expensive.

Green - Greasy spoon called Roxys. Horrible breakfast food 24/7. I think it used to be down the street on Everett. Had a tiny basement bar. Moved to Vaseline Alley in 90s. Had ginormous picture of Quentin Tarantino or some shit. Very 90s

Yellow - Three Sisters (Six Titties) dive bar/gay bar. Never really went there. At some point was a male strippers bar. Robert had me escort one of his side pieces there. Kid thought the stripper was really into him. I tried to explain. I won $600 on the poker machine and drove the kid home.

Orange - Django Records. Large amounts of cheap used records. 3 for a dollar bins! I bought Eyehategod In the Name of Suffering here. Also the Cruising soundtrack...33cents!

Red - Fancy, expensive hotel. Yell really loud underneath the windows. They like that. Cops always parked along this stretch. Drunk gays got their first DUIs around here.

Mint- block of amnesia. I don't think it existed

Red - Boxes. Gay bar where you did lines of coke/mda/meth in the bathroom without hassle. TV sets with Oprah or Steel Magnolias, shit like that on. Spartacus Leather fetish store was down a couple doors. Inside Boxes, you could take a wood paneled passage through the fish restaurant kitchen ( I don't think anyone ever ate there) and end up at.....

Green - the Brig. Named because dance floor had bars around it like a jail cell. Imagine the creative dance moves as the queens grappled bars, ass out while Madonna songs played on a loop. Your meth dealer could be found here, doing a fan dance. Don't wear black. Semen stains show up under the blacklights. (or do)

Yellow - the house paint store. Eventually became the Panorama in the age of MDMA. Rave type music. Went there once to meet a dealer. Obnoxious experience.

White - Silverado. Country Western night most nights. My roommate dj'd andtaught line dancing but dance floor was like 10 sq ft so it was just the gays holding hands and boot scootin' in a little circle for eternity. Bar I could get into underage.

Orange - Ben Stark Hotel. Like outta Barton Fink. But really,really seedy. Had some weird sex in there. Now a boutique hotel owned by some Donald Trump guy Gordon Someone who did something once. Probably haunted.

Brown - Scandals. Beer /wine bar. Big windows so you can people-watch and talk shit. Used to go in there underage until I got thrown out snorting a rail of MDA off the tabletop. Had electronic darts and video poker in the 90s. Me and Robert had a domestic dispute there.

Red - row of funky vintage/antique shops. Someone used to broadcast a pirate radio station somewhere around there in the 90s

Blue - Portland Underground. Small venue had some big shows early 90s. Top floor is where I swear I saw Econochrist play. But it's an office building. Maybe confused

Yellow. OBryant Square aka Paranoid Park. Skateboarders and street drugs. I got "chased" by AF Nazis here. Probably more like I ran my fat ass up the street after this girl I knew screamed "run!" And they probably just laughed. I didn't look back. I think it's demolished now.

White arrow- up the block toward the Galleria. Second floor toilet was really cruisy. Careful of cockblocking rent-a-cops. Kiosk by cafe I think was only place downtown to buy pipe to smoke pot

#long ass post #TheeHorsepussys Portland

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