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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 10 months

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Lately I've been thinking about modern day Napolington dealing with murder fairies. They're just two bickering ambassadors or some such then oops horrific murders happen.

I had a long running modern day AU head canon thing wherein Arthur was in Paris representing the UK on some matter or another (his actual position, and what he was there for, is irrelevant) and Napoleon was a member of the French government (which ministry he'd be in changes for me on the regular since he'd be a good fit for a few of them - regardless, he's in a very senior position) and due to Shenanigans and Situations and a bit of a rooftop drunken party they end up shacking up and Arthur's family is shocked and appalled and Napoleon's siblings are all like "god you're a mess, Napoleone, and really? an Englishman?" though his mother would be Very Catholic(tm) about it all. His father wouldn't care because Carlo was a bit of a chaotic lush.

(I have it that he was married to Josephine but she died within the last two to three years of something unexpected and he's now single-dad-ing it with their kids.)

Murat is all, 'Welcome to the family. They're going to give you a really hard time for the next ten years then they might accept you. Maybe. Though as an Englishman, maybe not.' Turns to Napoleon, 'Really?? An Englishman?? The least you could have done was date a Scotsman or something. The only reason my kids are learning English is because I believe in knowing thy enemy.' (Napoleon, sotto voce: it's not the one hundred years war anymore. christ.)

Arthur is like, 'See, at least people talk about things in this family. If in a sort of terribly Corsican, over the top, wow-that-didn't-need-to-be-put-quite-like-that fashion. My mother texted me: You shall arrive promptly for Christmas dinner. You know the size of the family dining table and so therefore there's only one spot being set for you. And that's literally all the communication I've received about the entire matter.'

Murat: Holy shit. Savage.

Arthur, 'Napoleon, meanwhile, had fifteen family conference calls about it. There was some yelling. My Italian isn't very good, but I think he was called a Little Slut by Jerome then your wife said "at least he's not Austrian like that one mistake you dated".'

Murat, 'I know, I was on them.'

Arthur, 'You should do family zoom calls. Then you can see the facial expressions he's making through it all.'

Pauline and Elise are the only nice, normal ones (aside from Hortense and Eugene and the younger generation more broadly). Caroline just thinks it's hilarious. Joseph is nice by dint of not really caring. He's just like, 'mama, we all saw what he was like in university.' and Letizia is like, 'at least he married and had children before going all peculiar. At least I have grandchildren. Even if he was married to a woman I didn't approve of.'

Joseph:

Joseph: you have so many grandchildren.

Joseph: also you approve of almost no one's spouse.

Lucien, like Murat, is appalled that it's an Englishman. He's like, 'brother, brother, I know some very nice French artists and writers. Let me introduce you to them.' and Napoleon is like, 'your friends are all pretentious freaks, Lucien, you know that right?'

-----

sorry the entire thing becomes a comedy of errors almost immediately

-----

anyway! Murder fairies! I love the idea of a modern AU with murder fairies. OOooooooh, they're visiting England because Napoleon wants to go on a walking tour because he's outdoorsy like that and enjoys walks and nature.

Queue some fucked up murders.

Also Arthur's family being Posh(tm) and English(tm). (Anne is like: I'm trying to accept this. I'm trying to be good about this. Arthur is all: can you try harder? Granted, you're doing better than literally everyone else. Gerald just lectured me about God.)

Napoleon: not sure what i'm scared more of: the murder fairies or your mother.

Richard: at least I'm not the one with the fucked up love life for ten minutes!

Arthur: Richard, you are not helping.

it's in Paris, there's political stuff happening in the background and then people start experiencing some weird things. Reflections in the mirrors are blurry about the edges. People think they see things then turn around and there's nothing behind them. Bumps in the night.

There's something about making big cities super claustrophobic that I like. Atmospheric countryside is really fun, and I love the ease in which it allows you to drop into the gothic, but there's something especially horrifying in being in a busy place full of people and still the creatures can get you.

Also, the fact that the murder fairies access our realm via mirrors and dreams means there's no real escape.

With modernity, well, we're all carrying mirrors at any given moment since cellphones are reflective surfaces. Also something with the selfie camera would be hell of a lot of fun.

Also the murder fairies wear people's skin as their glamour so you never actually know if who you're talking to is the person or the fairy.

But there's so much potential with modern technology.

Murder fairies infest the metro. You descend down to get on the metro at Rennes or whatever and when the train pulls up the reflection in the windows as they pass by shows a murder fairy behind you and when you turn around it's just the crowd.

Fun fun fun!! Fun for the whole family!

-----

excerpt from my own murder fairy story that has yet to see the light of day:

The other fairies move forward, two already have swords drawn. The king holds up a hand and they stop their advance. A smile full of teeth. I see what your plan is. The king steps forward. Napoleon does his best to look down at the king whilst looking up. I had hoped you would be willing as Peredur was willing. Magic is stronger when the healing gift is freely given, but I will take what I need. 'How will this work?' Napoleon asks, sweating. The heat overwhelms. Sharp cracks of rock splitting slice air. 'If it is me you need, my own leg never fully healed, just as yours doesn't seem to want to heal. Mapping mine over yours won’t make it better. And your wound doesn’t mean your kingdom is wounded or must suffer. I believe that some power of kingship comes embodied in the person himself, but much of it extends beyond the mere physical form. Yes, the monarch represents the land and the people, but if you are wounded, and you allow that to determine the quality of your kingship, to control your actions, dictate and consume your leadership, you were never fit to rule in the first place. That right belongs to someone else.' This is not your world and it does not operate by your rules. My land is bound to my body. If I am wasted away, so is my land. You have seen where it is barren. 'Even if that is so, I can't heal you. My body, my skin, will not heal you. No one's body can heal you. Didn't you remain wounded when you took Arthur's appearance? Percival’s? If so, that was no healing. It was applying a bandage to something requiring stiches.' You cannot know that. ‘I am not your Percival. You are not my fisher king.' The king shakes his head in a pitying manner. Reaching forward, he wraps a clawed hand around Napoleon's neck and lifts him up as if he were nothing but a rag doll. [...] The fisher king was healed by the Grail question. But that is legend, and this is real life. Real life where a woman is on fire, ripping apart a bridge. Real life where a fairy is strangling him. Real life where he dangles two feet off the ground fast heading towards unconsciousness. Napoleon tries for air, tries for the question, 'what is it that troubles—' Searing pain across stomach. Everything is stars, blurred shapes, sharp colours. He thinks he might be screaming. Movement. He is aware of being thrown. Hard rock. Searing hot rock. He feels it through clothes. His hands hold coiled intestines. He thinks he should ask for opium. He thinks it fitting he'd die on a bridge with stomach cut open. It’s poetic and his life has always been something of a romance.

Napoleon is having a great time, everyone!

#it works that they disappear people and then use their skin #if the faie take you you're basically dead #they send you to avalon and that's not a good thing #you've been skinned #you're dead #there's no coming bacl #back*#the fisher king just wants a new meat suit!#writing #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon #napoleon: what is it that wounds you?#fisher king: first person who has asked correctly in a thousand years.#arthur wellesley #napolington #murder fairies #pale before the fall #nox #sort of

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punkandsnacks · 4 years

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Between Wolves & Doves, Chapter Four; Acquaintances.

Author: @punk-in-docs & @adamsnackdriver

Also on AO3-

Trigger Warnings: Nothing much to trigger in this chapter - just as the title suggests, a swooning moment or two perhaps-

Synopsis: Vampire!Kylo x OC love story. Inspired by BBC’s Dracula. Also inspired by Austen’s Pride & Prejudice.

He’s been stalking this earth long since civilizations can possibly fathom. Before records even began. He sneers at the fact that this pitiful young world has only just begun to see his reign of it.

He’s dined with moguls, emperors, princes. He’s consorted with bloodthirsty ruthless Queens in their courts, and whispered into the ears of powerful King’s, whose names still echo through millennia.

In his myriad of centuries gifted to his immortal self he’s been many many things. He’s been a lowly pauper. A crusading knight. An assassin. A sell sword. A soldier. A wanderer. A simpering suitor and a voracious unyielding lover. Aimlessly lost in time- besieging this earth. Ripping it apart and drinking what’s left.

He was made in the hinterland between snow and dirt and pine trees. Crusted with ash and blood and gouged from battle. Born anew. Sired from the hell-mouth of war. He was made in 789 AD.

He’ll come undone, one bitter winter night, in England, in 1816.

~ ~ 🥀 ~ ~

The sky remained hard. Resolutely letting snow sift from the thick great heavens, like icing sugar drifting down. The ground also continued to be frosty hard and scattered with patches of hidden silvery ice.

No sooner than the sun had risen over the tumbling flat frosty vista of Hampshire hills and frost crusted meadows, than Iris is up, and going about her daily chores all in the life of a gently bred - yet unwed- daughter, of fairly considerable means.

She takes food parcels to the poor. Calls on sick relatives or companions for tea. Pays calls. Fetched supplies for cook from the butchers or the grocers, or the fishmongers in town.

When one of the maids is ill, or is suffering a passing heartbreak until the next suitor comes along, Iris is the one to step into the void and fulfil their tasks. She collects the eggs from the chickens at the farm, or makes the ailing girl a hot milk posset or a cup of hot chocolate to cheer them.

It seemed like every other week their maids, Meg and Julia, seemed to go getting their hearts broken. Some farm hand. Or the boy from the butchers shop. The milliners son, or the strong handsome one who works in the drapers shop. As ever; Iris steps into the fray when - another - devastating crisis comes their way. She helps cook in the kitchen with supper. Or she helps out with idle cleaning around the house. Or see’s to the chores on the farm.

This morning is no different. Meg took to her bed with an ailing heart of the most acute kind. For the boy she fancies had become engaged to another girl. Iris brings her a cup of chocolate after breakfast and lends her a handkerchief and a shoulder so she can have a good long cry about it.

So household tasks fall onto her today. Fetching in what cook needed from market for supper. Even though she’d have liked to have spent a morning reading her book, or helping Julia get on top of the household washing. She’s wanted to take down the parlour curtains and give them a good scrub, for weeks now.

Or today she had ideally wanted to lend Flora and Posy a hand in drying some flowers, and french lavender and roses. For perfumes and bathing oils. They had to use their home grown stock from the gardens carefully. It was a long winter. And the convenience of summer blooms are far off yet. Dried flowers cost a pretty penny up the market.

Her duties are endless. She’s got calls to pay. Off to the butchers to buy sweet meats and game for the jugged hare cook is making tonight. She needs to buy beeswax candles and salt, and some more soaps.

And Posy and Flora are allowed to purchase two new ribbons each. They’ll walk into the village with her. No doubt nattering all the way there about what colours they want. And all the way back that they should’ve chosen different ones.

Iris steps outside in her wintry best and her cracked leather boots. Two pairs of wool stockings this time. Her navy blue wool pelisse over a thick white cotton dress. For good measure, she puts a bonnet on to keep her ears warm, and wraps a gold embroidered shawl around her shoulders.

Posy and Flora are trussed up as if they’re off to go personally meet the Prince Regent. Flora is in her gold pelisse with her pink dress under. And Posy had her powder blue coat over her mint green dress. They’re both wearing bonnets that they made up themselves. Their hats staggering under the weight of ribbons and cloth and trims and flounces.

Iris’s was far simpler - No fuss. No trims. A gold straw bonnet with grey ribbon tied under her chin.

Iris has to chide Posy, when they step out of doors, for forgetting to wear her gloves. She insists she hasn’t a decent pair and slips back into the house to go up to Iris’s room to conveniently borrow her grey rabbit fur lined gloves. Making her elder sister roll her eyes. The plot was clear.

They had a heavy basket each to carry. Some old granary loaves, soused herring, and some jars of Jam from their kitchens to go to the poor. They’re not even at the end of the drive and Flora is whinging about the weight of her basket. Iris heaves a sigh and grabs it off her.

She trudges behind them. Both arms carrying heavy baskets.

Her and Posy link arms, giggling, walking along merrily, animated and discussing last nights ball. Or, more accurately; making sport of the people who’d attended.

“Did you see that awful Lavender gown Jane Penwell had on?”

“I thought it suited her very ill indeed.”

“And did you hear about Lawrence Fisher? Apparently he’s now to be courting Lucy Miller.”

“I cannot stand her. Last night she was so boastful about the lace trim on her dress. She’s vile. And I haven’t had any new lace on my dress for over a year! Not since last summer. I’m sure she does it deliberately, just to vex me.”

“You are far prettier than Lucy Miller. She has ten million freckles and no conversation at all. She’s a pale ugly little thing.” Posy’s insisting fiercely to her younger sister.

Iris is amused by the sheer frailty of their worries.

“And besides, Mama said she had a letter from Mrs Thornby today, and apparently Lord Ren and Iris were the talk of the ball all night, last eve.” Flora says cheekily.

Turning over her shoulder to scrutinise her sister with a smug grin that flashes her straight little row of teeth.

Iris rolled her eyes. Strongly suspecting that as of now, her and Lord Ren would be gossiped about in front parlours for weeks. This was a sleepy country village with little amusement and not much variety to sustain it.

Mama’s and girls of the Ton would fall on the new shred of tittle-tattle like wolves.

“He left the ball last night without talking to any other girl, mama said.” Posy explains.

“The poor man probably didn’t have time enough to get through all the desperate Hampshire girls, eagerly throwing themselves at him to make an acquaintance.” Iris thinks aloud.

They walk up Westwell’s frosted drive and out onto the snowy lanes that cut through quaint countryside and woods.

The golden sun is in its early rising, striping ribbons of thick satin gold through the trees. The ruddy browns and ash greys and ochre coppery rusts of the Turner-esque English countryside. Of fields and hedgerows and treetops. The grass is no longer green. It’s a musty white. And that same cloying powder clings onto the dead taupe leaves and branches of every tree. The air is bitter to breathe in.

Iris takes a deep lungful of it, and its like a chest full of sharp pins. Needling at her lips and her neck. She should’ve thought to employ a wool scarf. As it is she can only tuck her shawl tighter around her shoulders. Tucking the heavy baskets into to dig deeper into her elbows. The frost numbs her feet, and sneaks up her skirts and snatched cruelly at her legs.

She clenched her numb fingers, scrunching and unscrunching them up in her much too thin gloves.

Posy and Flora continue their giggling and swapping tidbits of gossip about Lord Ren.

“You know he didn’t even dance with anyone!”

“A great sin, I’m sure. Punishable by death.” Iris thinks to herself under her breath.

“He probably didn’t have time-“ Posy remarks.

“Or he doesn’t know how.” Flora supposed.

“A man that lofty, of course he can dance. Maybe he prefers not too.”

“Maybe he has a false leg, or, or a war wound!”

Iris rather wishes her ears were purely ornamental by this point.

Give me a pair of vestigial ears anytime you wish. She idly prays. Turning her eyes skywards.

“Maybe he’s shy-“ Flora squeaks. Posy clasps her hand over her mouth and laughs so loudly it startles the chaffinches out the trees.

“I don’t think he can afford to blend into the wallpaper with a stature like that.” Flora grins.

“His shoulders were twice the width of me.” Posy says dreamily.

“Did he have soft lips Iris? For you must’ve felt them through your gloves... Were they heavenly?” Flora demands to know. Both sisters walking in step alongside her now.

She side eyes them. “That is not a proper thing to discuss. And well you know it Flora Jane Ashton.” Iris insists. Concealing her secrets to herself.

She wasn’t telling her sisters how her whole body burst into shivers popping and skipping up her spine. How his touch made her skin feel like it was dancing of its own accord. Free from her body. She shivered yet she was blushing hot.

His lips were the softest, sweetest things that had ever come into contact with her body.

Her whole arm felt dizzy afterwards. It wasn’t possible. But that’s how it felt. Hours after she was still rubbing the patch where his lips had lain on her satin gloves.

When she got home after the ball, she peeled her glove off and looked at her hand.

It still looked ordinary. Her skin wasn’t red or marked - but it felt like it should be. It felt as if something utterly astounding had happened to her.

The memory of his eyes gazing their arrow-striking glare into her own haunted her head all night long. Swam behind her closed eyelids in her sleep. Those opulent piercing eyes.

“We won’t tell a soul.” Posy promises

“Oh, look. Here is the Barton’s cottage. Flora pass me the ointment for Mr Barton.” Iris demands.

Seeing the little boxy cottage coming into view. Roof thick with iced thatch. Walls butter yellow. With fat pink sickly rose vines creeping up the walls. Iris sees the chimney is smoking. They must be home keeping warm on this frigid morning. Acrid woodsmoke from the house drifts across the woods.

They deliver the ointment into Mrs Barton’s hand. Along with some jam, a loaf, and pickled goods to see them through the wintry cold week. They were a frail elderly couple after all. And Iris likes helping people. She always had. Her mother always insisted she’d been cursed with an unshakable vein of kindness.

Which often meant as a child she was forever taking in birds wounded falling out their nests in the gardens. Leaving carrots out for the wild rabbits. Seeds for the birds. Feed for the little monk-jack deers. She shared all her dolls as a girl. Forever saw to caring for the people and creatures which surround her. She visits the infirm with medicine. Reads to the lonely old matrons who’d lost all the grandchildren of their own.

Now she’s grown that inclination hasn’t left her. She likes making sure none of the infirm elderly, or the more impoverished friends of her acquaintance suffer through the bitter cold climes. They never have to struggle alone. Iris is a balm to the hurting. She gives what she can. And is a friend to everyone kind enough to recognise it.

Before long, the trio of ladies dispense their generosity upon those who need it. Giving what sustenance and leftovers they can spare. It’s not much really- when all is said and done. But it’s helping in any little way possible. And that’s what matters.

They come eventually into Pembleton high street. The every busy and jagged row of higgledy Tudor houses. Separated by a lane of sticky brown mud where horses hooves and carts churn up the dirt. Carts and stalls line the streets. Modest shopfronts sell their wares. The air is full up of woodsmoke and the scent of roasting nuts from the brazier on the stand nearby.

Iris loses Posy and Flora very quickly to the haberdashers, where the ribbons hang from great silken trails in racks from the ceiling. Every colour Imaginable.

She sees them fussing over Belgian lace and leaves them be. She steps into the butchers for Cooks desired hare and sweet meats. She buys the candles, salt and the paper wrapped little cakes of soaps from Mr Milton’s shop next door.

She crosses the street to the grocers. Fills her basket with green leeks, onions, potatoes and carrots. She tucks everything in her basket, around the poor lamented hare with its fur still on, and covers it with a patterned linen cloth.

She has a shilling spare- she wanders over to Mr. Greeley. The proud proprietor of the roasted nuts stall. She buys a bag of warm, buttery sweet chestnuts.

Hides them from Posy and Flora. This was her one little indulgence for today. She sneaks one of the hot things onto her tongue and savours it.

She strides back up the line of shop windows. Looking and listening to the clack and bustle of the street behind her. Clopping hooves, rattling carts, ponies and traps clunking along the high street. Friends and acquaintances stopped to gossip and chat in the street. Young and old. Of every walk of life.

She looks in the drapers window. The reflection off the glass, showed her a watery image of a gaggle of matronly mamas stood behind her across the street, loudly gossiping in her direction. Pointing and gesturing toward her.

She rolls her eyes in huffing annoyance.

She wasn’t enjoying being the inconstant centre of attention. Open to such censure and fascination in odes to the Hearst’s ball last night.

Also in odes to the mysterious new stranger to these shores, too. The dark, dashing, and taciturn Lord Ren.

Every wet-behind-the-ears girl in all of Hampshire was busy envisioning their swirled initials joined with his in their embroidery. A big handsome stranger from far off lands. It was the precursor to the stuff of romance from drippy novels. A harbinger of a great love story.

Maybe not hers. Lord Ren may have kissed her hand and called her handsome. But so have countless other rich suitors, and then two months later them and their pretty blonde heiress of ten thousand pounds, are lavishly married and installed in a house in Brunswick square. She’s sure he’ll eventually find some far more moneyed girl to march into matrimony.

It won’t be her- not her turn to pick out her wedding clothes. It never is.

She lets the whispers and doubts about her, flourish from unimportant mouths.

She never cared for the savagery of society. She won’t start being missish about it all, now. It won’t serve her any purpose-

She can only hope the next scandal or engagement or elopement, or any other source of fascination to the bored inhabitants of this county, comes flooding in quick to snatch away all unhealthy - and rather undue - interest in her.

She waits outside the haberdashers for her pair of silly sisters. They eventually come out. Comparing their new ribbons with each other’s. Flora has a pink, Posy has some frothy white lace.

Posy hands Iris a teal silk ribbon. “For your hair. It would become you so well. And it will go with your eyes.” She insists.

Iris smiles. Wrapping the long length of satin around her grey glove. It was very pretty.

“Pray how did you afford this?” Iris narrows her eyes in smiling suspicion at the pair of them.

“I saved up my allowance.” Posy insists plainly. Iris continues her look. She tilts her chin down a notch. Let’s her eyes harden to steel. Arched her muddy shaped brows.

“...And the haberdasher’s son is so very obliging.” Flora beams. The younger Ashton’s giggle together knowingly.

Iris sighs again. Strongly suspecting she could safely boast that she had two of the silliest siblings in the entire country. Hell, in the entire British Empire.

“Let’s take our leave shall we...” Iris says. Slowly heading away. Down the street in the opposite direction they came. It took them home down on the woodland path.

She picks up her pristine white skirts and steps over the mud. Baskets heavy with her goods now thunking against her hip as they walk. One filled with meat. The other with candles and potatoes and other luxuries for supper.

Posy and Flora trail behind her. Discussing how best to use their ribbons. On bonnets or around the waistline of their favourite dresses. Iris drowns them out and listens to the crunch of her feet on the frost. The silver wisp of her breath as its whisked away up into the reach of the sky. She likes how sun glimmers off frost like sparkles and diamonds and gems. Like something fine and rich.

They just come across a curve in the lane. Leading through an open meadow full of frosted grass and withered wildflowers. When a thundering sound gallops into being, hitting the hard ground in succession from beyond the bend.

Iris looks up, attention captured swiftly by the beast of a large rider atop a colossal shimmering black horse, moving quick towards where they are walking along the quiet little lane. The peace shattered by the horses hooves pounding the earth.

A great hulking beast of a man sits astride it. Who indeed almost matches the brutally-enormous muscled intensity of the creature he rides.

Lord Ren.

Iris startled and went to move aside. But he sees them and is already slowing the horse. She draws a deep breath and watches as he tugs the reins to reel in his galloping mount. Reducing to a canter, a trot and then to a slow stop. Hooves churning up frost and spitting wet and crushed muddy grass, under its enormous stomping treads.

The sun in fiercely shining behind him. So Iris can only make out the silhouette at first. There’s no mistaking that singular body for another man. The primal size and bulk of him is unmistakable.

But then he shifts forwards on his horse as it stops. Lumbering towards them all. And that winter sun shines amber over his shoulder and she’s met with the full face of the handsome man she became acquainted with yesterday. His breath and that of his horses turn to silver smoke in the cold air

He passes the strops of its black reins into one gloved leather hand. His attire not much changed since yesterday. Still all black. The shining calf riding boots. The breeches that sit entirely too snug to the sturdy trunks of his legs and hips. The tailored black wool coat. White shirt tied with an elaborately knotted wine coloured cravat. Diamond pin studded central into the tie of the cloth.

His hair is free and rumpled by the wind. Desirable and untamed. Wild. He wears no top hat on his head like most gentlemen of civility did, when out riding.

Something about that lack of full dress she admires. Maybe he likes to feel the wind tangle his hair. The suns kiss his pale skin. The wind stinging at his cheeks. Likes galloping across the terrain at full speed on his mammoth sized beast of a horse.

“Good morning ladies.” He nods to them all. Still seated on his horse.

“Miss Ashton.” He smiles directly down at Iris as his horse shifts and stomps and nibbles the dewy wet grass below.

She ducks her head and curtseys. “Good morning. Your Lordship.” She says politely. Dwarfed by his horses shadow.

He holds her gaze for a second and smiles. Eyes more opulent charcoal in their shade than ever, this morning. He even had a kiss of pink colour in his cheeks. He looks healthy. Less alabaster pale. She strongly suspects its because of the icy wind stinging his cheeks as he rode.

He unlatched his right boot from the stirrup and smoothly swings himself off the horse. Grips the pommel at the front of the black saddle and swings himself down. Feet land to earth with a crunching thud. Frost and grass crushed underfoot.

His long wool riding coat flaps at his knees. Billowing open at his chest to show just his white shirt beneath it. Such thin layers. He must’ve been freezing.

“If I may be so bold, Miss Ashton, allow me to see you along to your intended destination?” He asks kindly. One big hand patting the solid flank of his horses shoulder when it huffs at his dismounting.

Iris’s cheeks go flaming red. She’s sure of it. Throat dry she manages to answer.

“Oh. Forgive my impertinence Lord Ren. But I don’t wish to take you out of your way. Only we are heading in the opposite direction to your path.”

“With your permission. I should like to walk with you. I’ve done a sufficient amount of riding for this morning.” He tells her.

Iris smiles. Flattered that he’d rearrange his ride, just to see her safely home. Just to walk with her for a moment or two.

Posy digs a sharp elbow into Flora’s ribs. Which jolts the youngest into speaking. “Iris. We were just going up the lane here to call on Charlotte Morris.”

Iris gazes pointedly at Flora with a piercing state that could’ve rivalled a dressmakers needle. “How remiss of you not to bring it up until now...” Iris glares a little.

“Should you mind?” Posy asks. Fluttering her lashes.

“Of course not.” Iris says flatly. “Mind the hour home and do for heavens sake be sensible.”

“We are the very vision of sensibility.” Flora beams.

Iris quirks a wry brow at the both of them. Teeth grit.

The two most transparent pests on the planet. Their plot was clear as day- One of sneaking away and leaving their elder sister unchaperoned and alone with him.

They turn away giggling and make for the little lane opposite. Gabbling and whispering all the way. Loud giggles follow them like fluttering birdsong.

When she turns back to Lord Ren he looks slightly amused. She blushes.

“I feel I ought offer an apology, your lordship. They are- most puerile and trying at times.” Iris offers as she shifts to step nearer to where he is.

He smiles gently. “They are young girls who fancy themselves cunning, I wager. No apology is necessary for that.” He declares affably. Patting his horses neck.

He brings the big horse around. Holding the gathered reins in his left hand. He leads his gigantic horse around with a click of his tongue and some soft words in urging Bavarian. The big creature follows his lead. She moves and alters the heavy baskets on her arms.

He sees this. Kylo frowns at the heavy weights at both her elbows. She shouldn’t be tasked with fetching and carrying like a damned pack horse. He extends a hand. “Allow me, Miss Ashton.”

“Oh, no it’s- I couldn’t.” By the time her protestations die on her lips. He has one basket in one hand, the other, he tied the handle to a saddle bag strap on his horse. Lays it rest against the saddle.

She’s mortified that a Lord offers to carry her basket for her.

“That’s truly a magnificent horse. I’ve never seen the like before.” She says. The steeds eyes glitter as if it knows it’s being discussed. “What’s his name?” She asks rummaging in her basket he holds. Hand slipped under the cloth.

“Erland.” Kylo says. The horses ears twitch.

“Erland. A majestic name. For a majestic beast.” She smiles at him.

She steps up to the horse and strokes her gloved hand down the flat bone between his eyes, leading down to his snout. Scents of hay and oats and animal sweat pour musky off his coat.

“He’s a lovely animal.” She says. Stroking his solid flank.

“Percheron. He’s a French draft horse. His breed originated in the Huisne valley in western France.” Lord Ren tells her.

“Bred for use as war horses, and pulling stagecoaches. This one has a fair mount of Arabian blood in him too. Makes him far too proud and headstrong.” He announces. Erland flicks his swishing tail at his owner. Snorting at him.

“I bought him with me from Bavaria. He’s the best riding horse I’ve had for a while. Stubborn temperament.” He offers. He watches her stroke his head. Touch the soft spot behind his ears.

“You like animals, Miss Ashton.” He states.

Most girls, as far as he’s aware, deigned horses as smelly, ugly creatures, whose only purpose was beneath them. Or to pull their carriages. She seemed to like this big equine creature very much.

“I do. Especially ones who are as beautiful as him.”

“Careful. Or else that flattery will shoot right to his ego.” He warns lightly.

She smiles.

Erland’s hairy velveteen muzzle cheekily nudges at her shoulder for more affection. He clearly likes her touch. Kylo tugs on his reins and frowns at him.

“Benehmen Sie sich.” Kylo rumbles in a firm Bavarian command at his horse. Calling him back. Telling him to be good. Rubbing his stocky shoulder. The round strong bones of him and the hot silk of his coat underneath his gloved palm.

She smiles. Lets the carrot she fetched from her basket, sit in the flat cradle of her gloved palm. She offers it to Erland, who snuffles it up and crunches on it. Breaking the frail vegetables skin with his big teeth. Munching it all down. Nuzzles her for more when he’s done.

He snorts when Kylo speaks up. “Anymore and you’ll get fat. You great beast.” He assures his horse in that soft foreign dialect. Shoving his snout into Miss Ashton’s hand for yet more treats. Erland’s head was so big and his power so strong, he could’ve very realistically knocked her over with one push.

She steps back and takes her place alongside a Lord Ren so they can continue in their walk. He’s a busy man. She doesn’t wish to hold him up. They fall into step easy. Her on Kylo’s left, Erland in his big lumbering enormity on Kylo’s right. His master has his right hand holding his stallions reins. The other easily carries her basket for her.

“Did you enjoy your introduction into Hampshire society, Your lordship?” Iris can’t help but ask him with mirth creeping into her voice and on her smile.

He turns his head to look at her. “The sheer amount of handsome and accomplished young ladies hereabouts is staggering.” He comments with dry humour. “I wonder if this isn’t the most accomplished county in all of England.” He states.

Iris finds herself smiling. Every desperate mother worth her salt last night would be crowing her daughters praise to high heaven. Enough to induce the possibility that her very accomplished, pretty and upstanding daughter might have a chance at landing him.

“Mothers can be so very domineering when the subject of marriage arises.” Iris promises. Looking down to step over a particularly frosty puddle.

Kylo looks across at her. Watches her profile. Along the curve of her nose and the swell of her smiling lips. It occurred to him then, that she didn’t know of her beauty. She was not aware of its potency. He could sense it; this was a girl who overlooked her own worth and highly underestimated her attractiveness.

With her pebble-ash eyes shining in the marigold sun like that, sparkling as if made of moonstone gems, and her rosy smile so unguarded and free. She didn’t see her beauty then. Not the way he could. Didn’t see it lay in the kiss of pink in her cheeks or the merriment of her face. On the geniality of her laugh and smiles.

“I know I shouldn’t comment on such things. But I do feel so dearly for every new suitor who comes to this village. Every Mama and every daughter must veritably drown poor men with their female offspring.”

Kylo raises one brow. “Rest assured. I’m not a man so inclined to favour polite safe conversation.” He promises her. He doesn’t tiptoe around propriety.

“And I will admit I lost count of the young ladies I was introduced too last eve. My ears were quite ringing with names and sickly smiles by the end of the evening.” He confesses.

She smiles wide again. Looks across. “I do sometimes wish that the people here could look beyond the scope of their own ignorance. To look beyond the defining goal of matrimony.” She confesses.

“Why should a woman’s worth be tied onto who she weds? Can she not be her own person and find a man to suit that.” She avows. Letting her stalwart brain run away with her rather passionate mouth.

“That’s very forward thinking of you.” Kylo says to her with a kind smile. Her face falls. She’s inspired insult with that comment.

She’s flushing with embarrassment.

“Mother would faint if she heard me confess that to you. Do forgive me, for the impertinence of my tongue.” She begs. Face wrinkling into a worried frown.

“You have a mind. Miss Ashton.” Kylo says. “It’s entitled to make itself known.”

“I’m a gently bred, unmarried, woman. And the eldest daughter, Lord Ren. My mind should be silent at all times. And possessed only, night and day, by thoughts and longing for matrimony.” She says. Quoting one of her mother’s rants.

“Well. You have my word. I’m most blessedly glad it’s not.” He says. Turning to look deep into her eyes.

She seems curiously confused. “You are?”

“Indeed.” He answers plainly.

“It means you are the one woman in this entire county with whom I can conduct a refreshing conversation. One that doesn’t revolve around reminding me again and again, that I’m a rich man who desperately needs a wife.” He offers.

“I’m glad to hear it.” Iris says laughing. “Not often I happen find someone on the same page as myself.”

“English men may find your so called ‘impertinence’ intolerable, Miss Ashton. For they were raised to know no better. But I am not a English man. Where I came from, it is applauded that a woman might speak her mind and have judgements and executions of her own.” He supplies.

“Our way of life here must seem so strange and strict to an outsider.” She dares. The defining pinnacle of English country society was its savage nature, after all.

“I don’t see much of the society in Bavaria.” He explains. “I see to the welfare of tenants on my land. I go hunting every season to pass the time. I’m afraid I rarely indulge in attending parties and balls.” He tells.

“A castle must be an incredible home.” She guesses.

“Even so- it can be very limiting being confined to it in the cold dark winters. Very little company. Little to entertain. I found myself wanting a change of scene. I had looked for some land opportunity’s to enclose in over here. When Hellford became available. It seemed a good opportunity to travel. Sink my teeth into a new venture.” He smarts. Eyes darkly roaming over her face with that handsome smile.

She nods. “I quite understand.” Erland clops alongside them in the misty morning sunshine. Snorting breaths silver and wispy still in the biting air.

“What are the winters like in Bavaria?” She enquires.

He smiles. “Beautiful. But bitter.” He explains. “The snow can be deep. As tall as me some days when it falls.” She smiles at his description.

“The castle stands out of a tall pine forest. A lake and a river to the east. One of the biggest woods in the country. Full of wolves, boars, and deer. It’s quite a wilderness in its own right.”

“Goodness- wolves. Isn’t that terribly dangerous?” She frets.

Not as much as me. He thinks. Matter of fact, when he steps foot in that forest, he is the most bloodthirsty dangerous animal in it.

“The beasts respect the boundary of my castle. I respect the forest is theirs. It’s a symbiotic relationship.” He tells her.

“Surrounded by wolves. You must feel very at home here too, then.” She jokes.

He laughs. “There’s something familiar I grant. Though the wolves back home don’t don lace caps and thrust all their daughters at me.”

She laughs at his remark. And suddenly, she goes spinning off course. Her worn boots slipping on a sneaky patch of frost and ice. No grip to their soles in this devilish cold. A yelp leaves her mouth as she skids. Blood flashing flushing hot and terrible suddenly. The shock of slipping stabbing at her stomach.

He acts quick. He lets go of Erland’s reins and steps that big form forwards and snatched one arm out to grab her. Slips back around her waist, cups the back of her hip, and yanks her tight to him to stop her falling.

She gasps and trembles as her vision spins, to be quickly halted by a sheer wall of cold, dark clad muscle. She barely registers where she is now.

Because she’s pressed right up into Lord Ren’s redoubtably firm chest. Her palms crushed flat on his lapels. His arm seizing her back and cupping her onto him to stop her slipping. She can feel under her coat how her breasts are crushed flat to him. Can feel his breathing heaving up and down, much like her own.

A shaky gasp leaves her mouth as she looks up, peering past the peak of her bonnet with flaming cheeks. Realising that they are slanted very close together. His face is right there, and he’s gazing down at her.

She’s in his arms. Buried into his chest. And it feels incredible. Such musculature and sheer masculine mass under her palms. Her head swims. He’s dizzying. Hypnotising.

Eyes as dark as burnt-ember molasses flecked with gold, and his lips look so invitingly pink ripe and soft- she curses at herself for that treacherous thought and her blush rises more. His wool coat and cologne nearly smacks her in the nose as she almost collided into his pectorals.

Kylo can hear her fluttering heartbeat. Like a racing preys pulse beating wild. Frail and fast, like a baby birds. A huge drift of her fragrance absolutely drowns him, pulls him under. Clary sage, French lavender and peppermint. Sweet and calming. Addictive. He wants to lean down and taste the salt of it off her neck...

It seems an eternity passes before he speaks.

“Are you hurt?” He asks. Making sure she didn’t turn one of her ankles. Or damage the bone

“T-Thankyou. I’m, I’m well.” She gasps. “I’m so sorry- I” She explains moving her hands down off his chest. He nearly swept her up off her feet. Now only her tiptoes brush the icy ground. The only part of her barely rooted to earth. Lost in those eyes.

Domineering, commanding, brutal, eyes. Eyes that had seen this world ten times over. But never gazed upon anything comparable to her-

Erland brings them both back down to earth. Snorting and fussing. Swishing his tail and nudging his nose at his masters shoulder.

Sense swims back through the fog of attraction and the heady bloom of lust. Kylo unleashes her back and her hip from his hold.

Quite liking the feel of her he accidentally - and literally - caught underneath her coat. The plump of her thighs and the shapely flesh of her hip and her bottom. There’s doubtless a figure to rival Venus herself, under this shapeless coat and thin dress. She slowly drags her hands off his chest and steps back. Avoiding the ice beneath her toes. Her gloves rasp on his fine wool coat.

“You fell. Miss Ashton. No need to be sorry for such a thing.” He tells her.

“You’ve a steady hand, Lord Ren.” She compliments. Thanking him further. He still held her basket in the arm that had not reached out to catch her. He looked as if he barely had to flex out an arm to catch her. Just twisted his body. His reflexes were sharp and cunning. As strong as he was.

He reached out and retook Erland’s reins.

They continue walking carefully along the little lane. For Westwell is just beyond the tree line now. It saddens her that she’ll be home soon.

Back to her daily chores. Back to scrubbing curtains, and helping cook roll pastry and mediating the silly shouting screeching arguments that Posy and Flora have over who gets to take turns to wear their favourite bonnet

She reflects how restoring it is to talk to someone so fully - without having to watch or guard her tongue. It’s even more enlightening to talk to someone such as him. Someone who, like her, feels like an outsider. Never fully fits in. And harbouring no desire too.

She feels her heart sink, morbid mournful and grey settling in her ribs, when they come to the meagre gateway along the short drive to Westwell. The twin stone pillars signifying the gateway were old and crusted with frosted moss.

Kylo calls Erland to halt. She pats the wonderful beasts strong shoulder in goodbye. He rubs the great velvet plain of black his forehead at her. Kylo untied her basket and handed it to her.

“I’d have no hesitation in seeing you to the door directly. But I fear your mother might see fault with our being left unchaperoned.” He disclosed. Giving her back the groaning full wicker basket with a clever grin.

She shivers when their hands brush. If she had any doubts in her attraction, that betraying little Judas of a tingle that thrashed her body, made her realise otherwise.

She likes him-

“Astute observation, your lordship. I Thankyou for your discretion.” She blushes. Hooking the baskets back on her arms. Adjusting the shawl where it had slipped down from her shoulders.

She looks down into her basket, and smiles. “A token of gratitude.” She explains before handing over the still warmed bag of chestnuts across to him.

He cradled them in his leather gloved hand. Appreciative of the gift. He rarely ate food. There wasn’t much need for it and it wasn’t the manna that’s sustained him. He had little joy in any human sustenance - apart from humans themselves.

When he did eat food, it was red meat that was still rare, juicy, and dripping blood. And he only drank sharp deep red wine.

He reaches over and took her hand. Once again dropping Erland’s reins. He took her dainty hand and brought it up and bows to kiss her palm.

He’s tired of satin and calfskin under his lips. He rather wanted to grasp a taste of her skin. Soon.

“Always a pleasure, Miss Ashton. I hope the experience of your company repeats itself shortly.” He compliments.

She smiles, apples of her cheeks creasing dimples with her widened smile. She nods politely and curtseys. “Your Lordship.” She curtseys gently. Bonnet tipping forwards. Criminally covering that beautiful face of hers.

She turns and he watches her walk up the pale lane to home. Sun striping through the trees onto her bleached linen white skirts. Bleached by sunshine. And softly scented of fresh cotton and French lavender.

Miss Ashton is made up of good intentions and possesses a giving heart as pure as gold. Pure. That’s his little dove all over-

He looks down in his hand and weighs the small bag of nuts she’d gifted him. He lifts it to his nose and inhales their scent. Buttery, sweet, burnt and acrid.

He tips his eyes back up to watch her. Thought creases up his brow. He’ll never know how it is to have such a virtue as a kind heart.

She was made up of honour and purity and softness. Doves feathers, lavender and rose petals. And he is made of cruelty. Of war and broken glass and shards of steel. He was made between ash and snow and a landscape soaking swimming festering in blood.

There’s no kindness in him. No mercy. Barely any love in him either.

He cares little for humans. After he was turned. That’s just how he became. They became meaningless specs of nothing to him. She has no idea what he is- who he is- he’s sent entire scores and countries of men shrieking to their deaths and writhing in agony into hell, cursing his name on their lips.

And here she was handing him this little harmless gift, like he wasn’t one of the most fearsome beasts put on this earth.

She’s not far away when she turns back - just as he’s about to mount Erland to ride back to Hellford Park once more. He tucks her meaningful present into his coat pocket.

“Erland... Is that a Bavarian name?” She turns and asks curiously. A kind frown on the lintels of her eyebrows. She tilts her head curiously. Her grey eyes glitter innocently off the sun like honey poured onto slate.

She’s so innocent. And it strikes him so deeply right then. How much he admires that.

He hoists himself into the saddle using the pommel. Feet slipping in the stirrups. Hips resting back onto the cantle behind him.

“It is a Norse name.” He calls to her. Erland is whinnying excitedly. Stomping his hooves to get out to the open fields and get his blood pumping. Kylo can feel the excitement shivering through his stocky legs.

“What does it mean?” She seeks.

“In old Nordic tongue, I believe it means ‘Outsider.’” He tells her.

She smiles. “Well. I trust you both know you have atleast one friend in this Hampshire county.” She smiles.

“Good day, Lord Ren.” She beams brightly. She turns away and she’s already missing the gaze of those melting cocoa eyes appraising her warmly.

Her skin still thrashes from the memory of his touch. All over her skin is alive with the memory of that strength of his. His chest under her hands she’s never felt the like- he was as cold and solid as marble. Some Greek god manifested out of carved stone and come to life.

He turns Erland back onto the snowy road. Clicks his tongue and urges him to run with a sharp dig of his shoe into his side. He feels the ice and the wind sting his skin for all the ride home.

He thinks about her parting gift and her touch against his body for the rest of the day - truly he does. It’s moved him.

He hasn’t been moved so much by another being in all of his years.

~ ~ 🥀 ~ ~

#kylo ren #kylo ren oc #vampire!kylo #vampire au #very wolves and doves #Iris vibes 🕊#Lord Ren vibes 🐺#Draegan vibes 🥀#vampirelovestory #vampire #demon #ao3 fanfic #lovestory #angst #slowest of slow burn #slow burn

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papermoonloveslucy · 6 years

Text

ALL STAR PARTY FOR LUCILLE BALL

December 9, 1984

Directed by Dick McDonough ~ Written by Paul Keyes

Lucille Ball (Honoree), Monty Hall (Host), Nelson Riddle and His Orchestra

Monty Hall was the honorary chairman of Variety Clubs International.

Featuring Lucy's family: Gary Morton, Lucie Arnaz, and Desi Arnaz Jr..

Lucy's former (and future) guest-stars: Sid Caesar, Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, John Ritter, as well as uncredited appearances by Barbara Eden, Eva Gabor, Bernie Kopell, Rich Little, Cesar Romero, Art Linkletter, Kirk Douglas, Bea Arthur, Ken Lane (Dean Martin's pianist), and Ricardo Montalban

Presenters and entertainers also include: Joan Collins, Cary Grant, Shelley Long, Carl Reiner, and Vicky McLure

Former Variety Clubs honorees in attendance: James Stewart, Burt Reynolds, and Frank Sinatra

Also present at the party (all uncredited): Loni Anderson, Lloyd Bridges, James Caan, Sammy Cahn, Ted Danson, Barbara and Marvin Davis (Childhood Diabetes Foundation), Altovise Davis, Charles Durning, Farrah Fawcett, George Hamilton, Barbara Harris (Mrs. Cary Grant), Lisa Hartman, Ted Lange, Vicki Lawrence, Carol Lawrence, Michele Lee, Olympian Carl Lewis, Hal Linden, Karl Malden, Roddy McDowell, Gloria Hatrick McLean (Mrs. Jimmy Stewart), Donna Mills, Stefanie Powers, Barbara Sinatra, Joan Van Ark, Dick Van Patten, Dionne Warwick, Dennis Weaver, Raquel Welch, and Betty White.

Taped at Warner Brothers Studios on November 18, 1984 and aired on CBS on December 9, 1984. Due to the December air date, the room is decorated in poinsettias. Lucy makes her entrance holding a dozen long-stem roses. At Lucy's center table is her husband Gary Morton, Frank and Barbara Sinatra, Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson, Jimmy and Gloria Stewart, Cary Grant and Barbara Harris.

Variety, the Children's Charity is an organization founded in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1927, when a group of eleven men involved in show business set up a social club which they named the Variety Club. On Christmas Eve 1928, a baby was left on the steps of the Sheridan Square Film Theatre. When efforts to trace the mother failed, the Variety Club named the child Catherine Variety Sheridan, after the club and the theatre on whose steps she was found, and undertook to fund the child's living expenses and education. Later the club decided to raise funds for other disadvantaged children. The discovery of the baby inspired the film Variety Girl (1947).

The program was the second highest rated show of the night with a 21.7 share, second only to its lead-in “Murder She Wrote” with a 22.3 share.

Monty Hall says that this is the 9th annual Variety Club All-Star Party. Two years later, Lucille Ball hosted the 1986 event honoring Clint Eastwood. In 1982 she participated in the All-Star Party for Carol Burnett.

In an interview to promote the program, Lucy said that Lucie Arnaz wrote the lyrics to the “I Love Lucy” tribute song that she and Desi Jr. sang. But on the show, Burt Reynolds claims the special lyrics were by Sammy Cahn.

Also in the interview, Lucy says she'd never do another series again. Two years later she changed her mind and agreed to do “Life With Lucy” for Aaron Spelling and ABC. She also says she'd like to do a drama about seniors being driven from their homes. It is likely that by November 1984 Lucy was already in talks to do her final film, TV's Stone Pillow, which would begin filming in April 1985 and air in November of that same year.

To kick off the event, the Nelson Riddle Orchestra plays “Hey Look Me Over” as Lucy's entrance music. Lucille Ball introduced the song in the 1960 Broadway musical Wildcat by Cy Coleman.

Joan Collins (TV's “Dynasty”) details Lucy's background and rise to fame; 76 films and over 500 television programs. She reminds Lucy that she auditioned for the role of Scarlet O'Hara in Gone With The Wind. In 1987 Collins was honored with her own All-Star Party.

Joan: “Not even Clark Gable could look into that face and say 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn’”.

Frank Sinatra sings “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” to Lucy, a 1973 song written and recorded by Stevie Wonder.

Sinatra says to Lucy “You're the best thing to happen to Adam's rib.” This causes a quizzical look to come over Lucy's face. Later in life, Sinatra was known for his occasional odd references and non-sequitur. He had been honored by Variety Clubs the previous year, 1983.

Cary Grant reads a letter from President Ronald Reagan. Reagan was honored with an All-Star Party the following year, 1985. When first addressing Ball, Grant says “Lucy, Lucy, Lucy,” imitating his falsely attributed quote “Judy, Judy, Judy.” Grant would also read a congratulatory telegram from President Reagan in 1986, when Clint Eastwood was honored.

Carl Reiner introduces and interviews Sid Caesar as (all the way from Germany) Professor Ludwig Von Blearyeyes, the world's most renowned viewer of Lucille Ball's television shows. The Professor describes his second favorite episode of “I Love Lucy” which is a crazy mash-up of parts of several episodes, including “Lucy Goes To The Hospital” (ILL S2;E16), “The Audition” (ILL S1;E16), and “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25). The Professor then recounts the same episode in Italian, proving that Lucy is known all over the world. The description of the Professor's favorite episode sounds like the plot to King Kong.

John Ritter is introduced as a 'member of Lucy's mutual admiration society,' a fellow comedic actor on TV. Lucille Ball had hosted a two-part retrospective of Ritter's show “Three's Company” in 1982. Ritter would be Ball's first celebrity guest-star on “Life With Lucy” in 1986.

Ritter introduces Olympian Carl Lewis and Vicki McClure, a young woman from Los Angeles chosen to sing at the opening ceremonies of the 1984 Summer Olympics. McClure reprises the song she sang at the ceremonies, “Reach Out and Touch (Somebody's Hand).” The song by Ashford and Simpson was the debut solo single of Motown singer Diana Ross, released in April 1970. McClure, a checkout girl at the Hughes Market in Canoga Park, was at first just the rehearsal stand-in for Ross but she was chosen for the real thing because as an unknown, she reflected the youthful image that organizers hoped to project for the games.

Shelley Long (TV's “Cheers”) admits that she never worked with Lucy, but admires her as a role model working mother.

Long 'passes the baton' to Dean Martin, while the Nelson Riddle Orchestra plays his signature song “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime,” a song written in 1947 by Sam Coslow. Martin sang it in “Lucy Dates Dean Martin” (TLS S4;E21), as well as on "Lucy Gets Lucky," their 1975 special. Martin (with Ken Lane at the piano) sings “When You're Smiling” by Larry Shay, Mark Fisher and Joe Goodwin. He changes the lyrics to suit the occasion:

“When you're Lucy, When you're Lucy, You're never off TV. When you're Lucy, That's all you see, You're own life constantly. On Channel 7, 5, 4, 9, 8 or 10, Wherever you turn, That's our Lucy again. When you're Lucy, When you're Lucy, You're never off of TV.”

Jimmy Stewart says that Lucy and Gary are celebrating their wedding anniversary. Stewart introduces Gary Morton, who presents Lucy with an Olympic-style medal for being a “gold medal wife.”

Sammy Davis Jr.'s first remarks incorporate references to the 1961 musical Stop the World – I Want To Get Off by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse. Davis starred in the 1978 Broadway revival of the show as well as the TV special “Sammy Stops the World” that same year. He then gives a heartfelt and emotion tribute to Lucy's world-wide and timeless appeal.

Sammy: “Lucille Desiree Ball, daughter of Desiree and Henry Ball, who stopped the world and said 'I wanna get on' in Jamestown, New York. On an August the sixth, this world of ours took little note then, but will long, long remember. Be proud, Lucy, of your legacy. Very proud. Be aware, as you sit here among your grateful friends, the sun never sets on Lucille Ball. All over this worried world tonight. Nations of untold millions are watching reruns they also watched the first time around. In Iran and Iraq on this very night, the fighting stops long enough for frightened people to laugh again as you hide the frozen meat in the furnace. In Finland after a long hard day at the factory, husbands and father are just settling down to watch the American girl they love the most get half bombed on her first TV commercial. And in Lebanon, ravished Lebanon, worried parents of many fates share a common experience, with innocent war-torn children, who tune in to forget the debris long enough to feed their hungry souls with laughter as you parade down the Champs Elysee in an outfit that drove the Paris designers to double aperitifs. Across the world in Singapore, Japan, whole families gather for a 'Lucy break' as laughter erases their problems watching you rehearse your trip to the hospital for television's first birth. And in Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Columbia, Honduras, Guatemala, Peru, San Salvador, Venezuela, and other sunshine countries, laughter crosses friendly and unfriendly borders as you try to keep up with the chocolates on the assembly line. Yes, my dear friend, Lucy, you are the one they love most.”

The specific “I Love Lucy” episodes Davis is referring to (in order) are “The Freezer (ILL S1;E29); “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” (ILL S1;E30); “Lucy Gets a Paris Gown” (ILL S5;E20); “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16); and “Job Switching” (ILL S2;E1). Lucy later said that Davis wrote the above speech himself.

Monty Hall returns to tell Lucy that Variety Clubs International has added new facilities in children's hospitals dedicated to John Wayne (in Miami), Elizabeth Taylor (in New York City), Jimmy Stewart (in Minnesota), Ingrid Bergman (in Des Moines), Jack Lemmon (in Buffalo), Burt Reynolds (in Atlanta), Carol Burnett (in Los Angeles), and Frank Sinatra (in Seattle).

Burt Reynolds recounts his first meeting Lucy, through an introduction by Lucie Arnaz. Lucie and Reynolds dated for a year and a half. Nelson Riddle and the Orchestra play the “I Love Lucy” theme by Eliot Daniel. Lucie and Desi Jr. then sing the song to their mother with special lyrics by Sammy Cahn. Ball struggles to hold back the tears. Lucie Arnaz is noticeably pregnant. She would give birth to her daughter, Katherine Luckinbill, on January 11, 1985.

To the strains of the title song from Mame, Lucy joins Monty Hall at the front of the room where he informs her of the naming of a research library in her honor at the Barbara Davis Juvenile Diabetes Hospital in Denver, Colorado.

Lucille Ball thanks everyone for the tribute. She asks Mike Frankovich of Variety Clubs to stand and take a bow.

Lucy: “To everyone who said such wonderful things about me tonight, I just wish you were all under oath.”

At the very end, the entire crowd sings “Happy Anniversary” (to the tune of “Happy Birthday”) to Lucy and Gary, who were married on November 19, 1961.

Oops! Over the entrance music, Lucille Ball can be heard to greet Dionne Warwick saying “Hi Diane.” Did she think Warwick was Diahann Carroll? When Lucy sees Eva, she just repeats over and over “A Gabor! A Gabor! A Gabor!” perhaps unsure if it is Eva or Zsa Zsa. Bear in mind that Ball did not know the guest list ahead of time. While the announcer reads off the guests stars for the opening credits, Lucy can be heard to say “I hope I remember the names.”

When Gary Morton puts the Olympic medal around Lucy's neck, she says “Turn it around!” Lucy wanted the front of the medal facing the camera. She then jokes that she is “always directing.”

This Date in Lucy History – December 9

"Don Juan and the Starlets" (ILL S4;E18) filmed on December 9, 1955

"Lucy and the Military Academy" (TLS S2;E10) aired December 9, 1963

"Guess Who Owes Lucy $23.50" (HL S1;E11) aired December 9, 1968

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