#the chantry took from him imo

[anneapocalypse]

Why Anders and Fenris can't be friends (in the game)

Recently I made a short post that was supposed to stay that way, but instead it took over my brain for several days so I'm going to expand on it. In that post, I said:

"Why can't Fenris and Anders get along? Why can't they see what they have in common?" Because it's a story about how people can be practically and philosophically correct about a specific thing, and also get so mired in their own pain and trauma that they can't relate to people whose pain and trauma comes from a different source and who are right about something else, especially if trying to reconcile those two things would threaten their sense of self. And that is, imo, both more interesting and more true to the human experience than if they simply looked past all that without any difficulty.

So, with that as our starting point, why don't Anders and Fenris find common ground by the end of the game? Wouldn't that be a strong character arc for both of them, and aren't both characters lesser for not getting there? Is this an oversight, rushed development, bad writing?

I think the answer to these questions lies in the journeys that Anders and Fenris are each on over the course of the game, and in this post I'm going to explore both of their arcs a bit, where they’re both going and why their paths are divergent in the game. Specifically I mean to argue here that they cannot find common ground during the game because Fenris spends the game finding safety, while Anders spends the game becoming progressively less safe.

Disclaimer time! This post is not meant as a refutation of anyone’s ships or headcanons! You do you. What I hope to explore here is why things go the way they do in the game itself.

I’m also aware that this game has been out for over a decade, that there is nothing new under the sun, that both of these characters provoke strong feelings in a lot of us, and that some fans are just tired of hearing about them in general. If the latter is you, please feel free to scroll right on by; no need to inform me.

This analysis will necessarily involve discussing both characters’ flaws as well as their strengths (as well as those of some other characters), but it’s coming from a place of love and appreciation for these characters as complex and multi-faceted. Please refrain from expressing character hate on this post.

Content warnings: discussion of slavery, the Chantry explosion, abuse and trauma generally.

Anders' Journey

It has been said that Anders' character arc in DA2 is a downward spiral while Fenris is on a slow road to recovery. And I basically agree with that, but I don't think of it as a downward spiral in terms of negative character growth, precisely. While I do think there are ways in which Anders becomes less able and willing to empathize with others over the course of the game, I consider that more of a side effect of what's happening to him than a sign of him being on some kind of moral downturn.

To me, the downward spiral is that Anders spends the entire game losing hope.

As an apostate in Kirkwall (and a possessed one at that), I think it is important to recognize that Anders is never truly safe. It seems likely to me that the only reason he remains free for so long is because he happens to befriend some very powerful and influential people in Kirkwall—most notably, Varric Tethras, who is known to pay people off to keep his friends safe from the city's various criminal organizations, and I don't think it's unlikely that he's payed off templars as well.

Even in his closest circle of friends, Anders isn't completely safe. And it isn't Fenris who poses the greatest danger to him! The one character who actively suggests they turn in Anders (and Merrill) to the templars is Sebastian in Act III—and it's Fenris who brushes him off, telling him to "work it out with Hawke." I don't think Fenris would lose any sleep if it happened, but he actively declines to be a part of it. While Fenris is not above turning in mages generally (he will rat out Emile de Launcet to the Knight-Commander if brought along for “On the Loose”), there's no evidence that Fenris has ever made an active attempt to turn Hawke's mage companions over to the templars; if nothing else, he has too much respect for Hawke.

There's another companion who we know has turned mages in. Aveline and Anders get off to a pretty sour start right in Act I when Aveline asks if she can "consult" with him, and Anders guesses (rightly, it seems) that she just wants information on how to fight and kill mages. Needless to say, he is not forthcoming with help. Their Act II banter begins with Anders pointing out that she isn't a particularly mage-friendly Captain of the Guard, where Aveline counters that she’s only turned “a handful” over to the templars. Between Act II and Act III, there is a mounting tension between the two of them, with Anders in the final act doing his best to nudge Aveline away from defending the templars. Not even ideologically—he knows that's a losing battle with Aveline—but by bringing up Meredith's overreach and the fact that even Donnic doesn't agree with the Knight-Commander. When explaining to Hawke why he hasn't included them in the Mage Underground, Anders cites Hawke's connections to the nobility and to the Guard. It's no mystery who he's talking about.

There are people among Hawke's companions who pose an actual danger to Anders—and Fenris is not at the top of that list, no matter how much they may despise each other. And I think Anders' interactions with Fenris are especially vitriolic, not in spite of that fact, but because of it. I'd say similar of Merrill, the other companion Anders arguably has the most acrimony with. Neither Fenris nor Merrill poses any true threat to Anders. They are both elves who do not benefit from drawing attention to themselves; Merrill is a blood mage and Fenris an escaped former slave. While both of them hold views that make them philosophically or potentially dangerous, neither has ever actually acted against Anders.

Now, Anders does argue with Aveline and Sebastian. Repeatedly. He's not shy about stating his opinions and questioning theirs. But notice how the way he argues differs with each character. With Aveline, he appeals to her sense of order and propriety. With Sebastian, he appeals to his sense of righteousness. We see this particularly in Act III, once things have gotten especially dire. And he does start out similarly with Fenris, trying to draw a comparison between mages in the Circles and slaves in Tevinter—a tactic which utterly fails to move Fenris, and Anders drops it pretty quickly.

I think Anders' dialogue with Fenris gets especially nasty a) because Fenris is a rival against whom Anders can afford to vent his anger with less restraint, and b) because Fenris's existence makes Anders feel threatened in an entirely different way than Aveline and Sebastian. Anders knows that the Captain of the Guard and the noble-turned-Chantry-brother are not on his side, and it is in his best interest to be persuasive toward them, but also philosophically they're opposed to him in a way that he finds easy to refute. He is very firm in his convictions that the Circles are unjust and that they are a corruption of what Andraste taught and fought for. He may have little chance of actually persuading Aveline and Sebastian, but he's also in no danger of being persuaded by them. In other words, they may threaten his physical safety and that of other mages, but they do not challenge his core beliefs, his sense of self.

But Fenris does.

Anders has spent most of his life locked up for being a mage, running away and being caught, and subject to profound abuses. Since his final escape and joining with Justice, he has found purpose and hope in fighting for the cause of mage freedom. If his cause is just, then it is worth living for and fighting for, what he has lost he can endure, and what he’s had to do for that cause is justified. If he admits to himself that magic is itself a power that can be abused, that magic has anything to do with the atrocities Tevinter, that calls his purpose into question. If the unchecked use of magic has the potential to create a society just as unjust as the one he knows, that unravels his present idea of justice, which is quite literally part of his identity!

And maybe if this were a different story, Anders' arc would be about confronting those challenges and deciding how to move forward with them. But this isn't that story, because this is a story set in Kirkwall, where the templars' abuses of power over mages are happening right now, right in front of him, and every effort he makes to change that is systematically crushed.

This is really critical to Anders' arc! He is not a character who has spent the whole game achieving his goals and then escalating those goals. Almost everything he has tried to do has failed. And it's really not due to any strategic failing on his part; the Circle is just too powerful. His attempt to save Karl introduces this theme right at the beginning. Anders does his best; he does everything he can. But he is up against forces he cannot stop. Karl is doomed by the narrative so that we can understand what Anders is facing.

And it does not get any better! There's another tumblr post out there about how every companion quest for Anders is basically you go to see how he's doing, and he's doing bad. And it's true! Because things just keep getting worse. His Act II quest "Dissent" gives us a firsthand glimpse of the abuses taking place inside the Circle. "Dissent" is sometimes read as an example of Anders' paranoia, because both the Knight-Commander and the Grand Cleric had rejected Ser Alrik's plan to make all mages tranquil. I don't fully agree with that reading. Anders knows that such a proposal has been drawn up, and he is absolutely correct about that. He just doesn't know it’s been rejected, and frankly from where he’s standing, he has every reason to worry it might not be. Furthermore, Anders tells Hawke that there are templars within the Circle, most notoriously Ser Alrik, who are misusing the Rite of Tranquility even by Circle standards and who enjoy torturing and abusing mages—and then we see exactly that firsthand with Alrik and Ella, so Anders was entirely correct in that case.

By Act III, the Mage Underground has been completely dismantled, the Knight-Commander has openly seized control of Kirkwall, and half of Anders' own social group will still barely admit there's a problem. His ambient dialogue as early as the end of Act II is "I can't go on like this." It's hard not to feel the sheer despair radiating off Anders by the third Act.

His attack on the Chantry is not something he was always planning and working toward. It's a last resort he undertakes because every other avenue has failed. In seven years, he has helped to free individual mages, but he has made no progress toward dismantling or frankly even improving the Circle as a whole; in fact, it's only gotten worse. Now the lives of every mage in the Circle are threatened as Meredith seeks the Right of Annulment for little more than suspicions of blood magic. Individual rescues are not a solution. His written appeals to the public have had little practical effect. If he wants to save Kirkwall's mages, he has very few options left.

And if you listen to the way Anders speaks—if you look at his face after the explosion as he waits for Hawke's response—he is not happy about this. He is not dancing on the ashes. In fact, he looks heartbroken. There is collateral damage from the Chantry explosion and Anders knows there will be and he does not take that lightly. This is foreshadowed very well in a piece of banter with Isabela:

Anders: There is justice in the world. Isabela: Is there? You want to free the mages. Let's say you do, but to get there, you kill a bunch of innocent people. Isabela: What about them? Don't they then deserve justice? Anders: Yes.

Anders accepts this justice. He leaves Hawke out of his plans regardless of whether Hawke would have supported him because he means to accept the consequences for himself. He accepts whatever sentence he is given without resistance.

Regardless of how you feel about Anders' attack on the Chantry (and I'd prefer not to fight with anyone about that here), I recount all of this to make the point that his arc in the game is a long slide into despair and desperation, and for what I think are very understandable reasons. And over these seven years, it's pretty clear that Anders feels increasingly alone in his efforts. He feels like everyone is against him. There are things he feels he cannot tell even Hawke, no matter how supportive Hawke may be, because of Hawke's connections.

These are basically the worst possible conditions for a person to be able to extend patience and empathy to someone of very different experience with whom they are ideologically at odds.

Anders straight up doesn't have any energy, or emotional bandwidth, or whatever you want to call it, left for that. When he says, "I am the cause of mages. There is nothing else inside me," he means it. He is drained—emotionally, spiritually, probably physically, in all possible ways. He is particularly caustic in the back half of the game, and at times says some truly mean and petty things to and about other characters and I will not defend those things, but it is so understandable to me why he gets like this, stretched absolutely to the breaking point and ready to snap.

Anders' journey in Dragon Age II is a tragedy. Depending on the choices Hawke makes, it may not be the end of his story; there is still the possibility that he lives to see a changing world in which he himself can begin, after all these years, to breathe easier, to heal. I think that's going to be a long process, but it is absolutely possible.

Within the timeframe of the game itself, I don't think it is possible for Anders to go on the journey he's on and also figure out how to get along with Fenris. In fact I think those two things are antithetical to each other. Post-game, the world is wide with possibility. But not in the game itself. "Learn how to play well with others" (especially others who are diametrically opposed to everything he believes in) is so emphatically not the story being told with Anders in this game, and the entire climax of the game is built on top of the story it's been telling us with Anders. Because of that, I cannot see "Anders and Fenris become friends" as what could have been or what should have been. It's not just an add-on in this case; it's a change that rewrites the whole story.

Fenris's Journey

Upon arriving in Kirkwall, Fenris's history does at first glance share a lot of commonalities with Anders: he is an escapee who's managed to evade his captors for a few years now, and in Kirkwall he finds reason to settle down, though he is not out of danger yet.

But their paths start to diverge pretty much immediately.

First, let's just acknowledge that Kirkwall is, objectively, a safer city for Fenris than it is for Anders. That's not to say it is truly safe; Danarius is still hunting for Fenris and has connections in Kirkwall, and no human city is particularly safe for elves. Fenris finds himself pursued at some point in every act, culminating with Danarius himself in Act III.

Fenris is, however, much more able to defend himself against hired mobs of slavers operating illegally in the south than a lone apostate is able to defend him against an army of templars who have the backing of the city guard should they decide to actually come for him. Fenris's pursuers do not rule Kirkwall, and they don't have the guard on their side; they do not have a base of operations just a short boat ride away, and they are not sending troops to daily patrol the streets and look for a person of his description.

Had Fenris stayed in Tevinter, that would be exactly his situation, and if Anders had fled north, the templars tracking him would likely have faced more difficulty apprehending him. But this story doesn't take place in Tevinter, it takes place in Kirkwall, and Fenris has some advantage here just by nature of have escaped to the south.

Is Fenris truly safe in Kirkwall? No, and that's the setup for his whole character arc. The critical difference is that Fenris's arc is toward finding safety, while Anders' is not.

Let us note also that there is no one in Hawke's immediate friend group actively threatening to sell Fenris back into slavery. The Captain of the Guard, while she needles him about squatting in Hightown, also does not take the side of slavers. Even the pirate is against the trafficking of people. The only one in that group who has the potential to do such a thing to Fenris is Hawke, and only if Hawke decides to recruit Fenris, pretend to be his friend for seven years (even rivalries are still fundamentally friendships, just more challenging and complicated ones), before selling him out for, at most, a sum that should frankly be an insult to Hawke at that point in their career.

Hawke’s mage companions feel like threats to Fenris, yes, because his life experience has led him to conclude that no mage is truly safe. Anders and Merrill in particular represent the additional dangers of abominations and blood mages, respectively. But Anders’ core convictions pose a particular challenge not only to Fenris’ worldview, but to the very sense of safety he has only just begun to have.

Fenris spent most of his life enslaved and subjected to profound abuses. Since his escape to the south, he has found a sense of safety in the black-and-white concept that mages are dangerous and only non-mages can be trusted. If this is true, it means that in a world where mages are locked up, he can be safe. If what happened to him is, even in a broad sense, not unique to a land ruled by mages, then it could happen anywhere. (And unfortunately, that’s true. The slave trade is alive and well in the south, illegal though it may be, as we see in our many encounters with slavers.) If he admits to himself that many mages are just like him–subject to profound abuse and deserving of freedom—that sense of safety he is building for himself as a free man in the south is shattered. While he is still on the run, actively evading capture, this is not a possibility he is emotionally able to entertain.

It may be said that Fenris’s arc is about learning to let go of his anger; I disagree with that reading, or at least I think it is a very incomplete one. For one thing, it misses the very important point that the person his anger is for is still alive and actively pursuing him for most of the game. It’s easy to take Flemeth’s remark to Fenris, “The chains are broken, but are are you truly free?” as like, a philosophical statement, but no! He literally is not truly free so long as he still has to live as a fugitive, always looking over his shoulder, always waiting for the inevitable. He tells this to Hawke right in Act I: he will never truly be free until Danarius is dead, and if Danarius doesn’t show up eventually, Fenris will go hunt him down himself.

He is angry about this. He carries a deep rage not only for what has been done to him, what has been stolen from him, but also that even now Danarius is still taking from him and fucking up his life. Listen to the fury with which he says, “I was a fool to think I was free,” during “A Bitter Pill” in Act II.

And he needs that anger. Right now, that anger is still protecting him. It gives him the courage, as he says, to “turn and face the tiger.” His hatred of Hadriana compels him to seek her out and kill her rather than running again. And killing Hadriana is absolutely the right decision! There is nothing to be gained from leaving her alive, she certainly doesn’t deserve his mercy, and taking her out of the picture eliminates one more tool Danarius can use against him.

Where this scene shows Fenris’s need for growth is when he then lashes out at Hawke, regardless of their response. His anger isn’t the problem; his anger is valid and necessary. The problem is that it sometimes targets the wrong people: mages generally and his own friends in specific. But until Danarius is dead, Fenris cannot let go of that anger because it is necessary for his survival.

If you’re a Fenris fan, you know that moment in Act III in the Hanged Man, when he’s come to meet Varania and he sees Danarius. The expression on his face when the camera zooms in is nothing like the way he looks at Hadriana, with unfettered rage. The look when he sees Danarius is pure horror. He’s been waiting for this confrontation for ten years, but I think in that moment we realize he has also been terrified of it. He remembers what happened the last time he had a taste of freedom and Danarius came for him, and though he knows he has grown since then, those emotions are still there—the horror of having turned on the people who sheltered him, the shame of realizing how deep his conditioning was, the revulsion at what Danarius had made him. Anger has kept those feelings at a distance, but now, with Danarius before him at last, he must confront them all over again. Only this time, with friends at his back, he will fight.

With Danarius dead, it’s finally over. And whether Fenris chose to kill or spare his sister, he is now forced to confront the person he’s had to be to survive until this point.

The point of Fenris’s restlessness and dissatisfaction following his victory isn’t that killing Danarius was wrong or pointless. On the contrary: we have seen throughout the entire game that there was no other way for him to truly find freedom. At the risk of getting too clinical here, trauma (which includes long periods of unrelenting high stress) tends to leave people with emotions and coping mechanisms that were necessary for their survival at the time but become maladaptive once they are away from their trauma stressors. We have already seen this with Fenris, in the way his anger sometimes targets the wrong people, and Fenris himself is aware of this, at least in his interpersonal relationships: on his own initiative he seeks Hawke out to apologize after lashing out at them. In Act II, I think we even see the early stages of Fenris beginning to extend his circle of empathy after “Dissent,” when instead of calling Anders a monster, he suggests that Anders realize his limitations, adding that it was a suggestion, not a condemnation. I think it helps in that moment that Anders seems to take responsibility for what he did, or almost did, to Ella, even if he understandably does not react well to Fenris’s “suggestion.”

And now that Danarius is dead, Fenris is beginning to realize that while his fight for freedom is over, his path to healing has really just begun. There’s a reason he isn’t ready for a romantic relationship with Hawke until Act III, and it isn’t just that intimacy was triggering or the brief recovery of his memories upsetting. Until Danarius is dead, Fenris’s emotional growth really can only go so far, because he is still at least partly stuck in survival mode, and the anger and the blanket concept of “mages dangerous” are coping mechanisms he has developed in order to survive.

With Danarius dead, now Fenris can begin to let go. Now he can go further in examining who deserves his anger and who does not. Now he can begin to truly heal. And can he learn to sympathize with mages one day and stop seeing magic as the ultimate evil? I actually do think the answer is yes. But that’s at least a five-step plan, and his arc in the game is mainly concerned with accomplishing step 2. Step 1 was “Get out of Tevinter.” Step 2 was “make Danarius dead.” The next few steps are a lot less cut and dry, involving a lot of difficult emotional work. He has begun that process, but it’s a work in progress.

With friends to support his journey, I do think Fenris can still come a long way. I just don’t think he could possibly have gotten there before Act III.

Conclusions

Fenris and Anders are on very different journeys over the course of Dragon Age II. They cannot be friends or sympathize with one another in the timeframe of the game, not because they have nothing in common, but because neither of them are in a position to let their guard down in the ways they would have to in order to connect with each other. Neither of them have reached the level of healing they would need in order to do that, and it’s not possible for either of them to reach that point in the journeys they’re on during the game, with the stories the game is telling.

That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s not possible for them to reach that point in the future. Under the right circumstances, both of them may have the rest of their lives to heal and to grow.

#fenris #anders #dragon age meta #dragon age 2 #blunders of thedas

[pigeonwithapen]

Hi! For Aravel, Emma and Mivera :)

What was your OC’s favourite memory from their childhood?

What biases does your character have? (This can be in favor of or against)

What demon would your OC be most susceptible to and how would the demon best tempt/manipulate them?

Thank you for asking!! :D Sorry I took so long with this, last week of grad school broke me down way more than I thought it would ;n;

Aravel:

- His favorite childhood memory would definitely be the stories his mom would tell. She was their clan’s weaver and he was a really rambunctious kid, so sometimes when he and his twin sister, Rylla, were having trouble getting along with other kids they’d sit with her while she worked (you cannot separate them or they’ll both start yelling it’s a whole thing). She always had her own twist on old stories, and the sound of a loom still makes him sleepy. He’d also keep trying to grab the loom weights, so his mom gave him one to hold and it became his most treasured thing as a little guy!

- It definitely takes him longer to trust humans than anyone else, his clan tried to avoid them the best they could and most of the interactions they’d had weren’t the most positive. His dad also holds some deep-seated anger towards humans, which gets significantly worse after an attack on their clan when Aravel is 12 (resulting in the death of several elves, including his mom) which absolutely rubs off on him when he gets older.

- Rage absolutely rage. He’s had anger issues his entire life, but has worked really hard to be kind and practice patience. Still, there are some topics that very easily get under his skin, mainly traumatic events in his life he had no control over and If a demon wanted him it could exploit that by tempting him with vengeance on those who took his autonomy away from him.

Emma:

- Her favorite childhood memory was meeting newborn Bethany and Carver, which was around when she was 3 or 4. It’s her first real memory, vividly remembering sitting in her dad’s lap so he could help her hold a teeny tiny Carver.

- She is absolutely on the mages’ side of the rebellion, and has an intense distrust for templars. Not much to expand on that other than she’s got a lot of mages she cares about, including (but not limited to) her dad, Bethany, and both her magic partners (she’s the hinge in a polycule with Anders and Merrill…I absolutely downloaded the poly mod so she could romance both and it made Gamlen’s line on how she’s her mother’s daughter even better imo)

- Despair would be the easiest to get to her, she carries a lot of guilt and keeps blaming herself for all the things that happened to (or because of) her family, friends, partners, and Kirkwall as a whole. Honestly it wouldn’t take too much reminding on all the things she couldn’t stop and all the damage she thinks she caused…Someone get this woman into fantasy therapy.

Mivera:

- She doesn’t remember much of her childhood before the circle, but her favorite memory is shortly after she was taken there. She was about 7 at the time and was understandably distraught, barely speaking and avoiding anyone she could. But one kid was persistent, just sitting by her and (trying) to read aloud and eventually she would sit closer and start helping him with words he couldn’t pronounce right. Which is how she met, Jowan, her first friend in the circle. (This memory has turned a bit bittersweet, but is still her favorite).

- At first she really wants to believe Circles (and by extension Templars and the Chantry) are forces of good, not wanting to admit that her experiences there were traumatic and hurting others. After leaving the circle, traveling through Ferelden, and especially growing close to Morrigan, the rose colored lenses come off entirely and she’s heartbroken and bitter about it. She’s still Andrastian, still remembers her mentors within the circle fondly, and has a tiny bit more patience with templars than your average apostate, but still struggles with the cognitative dissonance of it all even by the events of Inquisition.

- TBH this one was hard to figure out, but I think she’d be most susceptible to a desire demon. She spent most of her life extremely sheltered while simultaneously surrounded by very normalized abuse, with little opportunity to break free of it. Seeing the world for what it truly is she desperately wants to make things right, the cost of that being extremely negotiable. She’s smart enough not to make a deal with a demon outright, but maybe if a demon caught her at a vulnerable time she might be pushed into a bad decision or two.

Also here is a doodle of each of their childhood memories bc that was cute as hell to think up

#thank you for asking! #dragon age #emma hawke #mivera surana #Aravel lavellan #this was so much fun I’m sorry it took so long aaaaa #I will happily answer more at any time heheh #dragon age ocs

[lyfeward]

I think what makes sense is if Perendale didn’t come under Orlesian control until the Second Blight, and that went much the same as it did with other places the empire annexed. before that, Drakon had his hands full uniting the Heartlands; pushing north proved difficult. the Second Blight then gave him an excuse to move into those areas and never leave.

so we’ll say that Perendale was a fairly prosperous city-state. the land is mountainous and hilly and infested with dragons, but they’re rich in silver (probably other metals as well imo), have a thriving viticulture, and I think are in a good position for trade routes. I would further say they had a thriving relationship with Kal-Sharok due to their proximity. of course this means the First Blight hit them pretty hard; the Darkspawn were so bad there that Kal-Sharok was declared lost, and if they were that bad underground, they weren’t much better on the surface.

this leads to the combo of high death tolls, the blight running rampant + a shit ton of ghouls, the mines being unworkable, the land itself becoming poisoned, and the loss of vital trade. this means that when the Grey Wardens made it over the Hunterhorn Mountains into Perendale, they were warmly welcomed. they were genuinely all that saved that city-state from extinction, and thus are still revered to this day. not to mention Perendale likely has routine problems with Darkspawn and is a high risk area during Blights. strong Grey Warden presence? you bet your ass.

I will also say that, although Kal-Sharok’s survival has been rather hush-hush for centuries, they reestablished trade with Perendale pretty much as soon as possible. they were cut off from each other by the Darkspawn, not because one gave up on the other but because they had no other choice. and when they reestablished contact, Perendale received them with elation. Kal-Sharok has stipulated that their relations remain discreet as Kal-Sharok became more isolationist after the First Blight, but they’re probably each other’s closest trading partners even now.

moving forward to Drakon: the First Blight ended in -203. rebuilding was an arduous process, but Perendalians are a hardy people. this is probably, like . . . the real root of them being this hardy people in a harsh land that has led to close-knit communities. we’ll get more into that later, though. a key note is that sometime in there, probably a handful of years after the First Blight, they had a leader (a queen? undecided on titles for this time period) who is seen as the sort of savior and mother of Perendale for ushering in a golden age of prosperity — something no one thought possible after the horror they had endured. she is revered to this day, maybe even considered a face of the binity. the empire did try to co-opt her for political reasons, but that never took in Perendale itself lol

I digress. the Second Blight rolled around, and Perendale was again a high risk area because of the Deep Roads access in the Hunterhorn Mountains. they managed to hold out for a little over thirty years, but they lost  their leader during this time and the successor was young, inexperienced, frankly ill-suited to crisis, and thus ineffectual. the Grey Warden conversion to Drakon’s Chantry in 1:35 Divine was a landmark moment. Drakon was almost certainly seeking a foothold in the area for years, and the combination of desperation plus the conversion of an order so revered in Perendale led to them forging a strong alliance with Orlais. their leader even went so far as to convert. this proved to be a double-edged sword, for while Drakon did wonders helping to repel the Darkspawn he also took ever more power. moved in troops that never moved out. built chantries, moved in templars, even built a Circle of Magi. Perendale was hit too hard by the Blight to push them out, and so they were forced under the empire’s banner.

frankly, the people of Perendale have always thought of themselves as Perendalians first, Orlesians second. there have absolutely been periods over the past 800 or so years where they tried to break away. maybe they managed it briefly once or twice, but ultimately, the empire has been too powerful. they are on the very edge of the empire, though. this means they aren’t very influential in the grand scheme of things and are ultimately removed from the thick of the Grand Game, but the crown rarely meddles in its affairs as it simply can’t be bothered. it’s too much trouble to march all the way out there and put fingers in their pies.

Chantry presence aside, traditional beliefs thrive in Perendale, as they do in other fringe areas of the empire. there is much about them that is recognizable as Orlesian after 800 years, but they maintain a unique culture and traditions that has been influenced not simply by Orlais but by Nevarra and the Anderfels — and Kal-Sharok, though this is more subtle. (which all adds further complexity we’ll get into later.)

I am actually going to quibble with canon’s assertion that they are, like, staunch Orlesian loyalists and want to be returned to the empire. I think it’s more complex than that. firstly, I am explaining the abundance of the Orlesian lion by saying the Valmonts actually originate from Perendale before their rise to power in the Exalted Age, so it behooved them to glorify the Valmonts initially. however, as time passed, the Valmonts were quick to bury their humble origins to service their ambitions. they sold out. so the lions we see don’t hold the power they once did. further, Perendale does hold out hope that the empire will war with Nevarra for them, but that’s more because they just want to be out from under their thumb and not because they’re so patriotic. in fact, most Perendalians hold onto the legend of the Lost Son; years ago, this was a hope that Amis, as the last du Peren, would return to liberate them, and has now become legends of a du Peren descendent doing the same. trouble is there are no du Peren descendants; the line died with Amis, and he was never going to return in that way, despite having the chance once decades ago. anyway it’s all myths and hopes that amount to this: the Perendalian desire to be free of outside control, whether that be Nevarran or Orlesian. they are simply distilled into the fictive figure of a folk hero.

#today is a worldbuilding day I warn y'all now #mostly I'm gonna polish up stuff I posted on his archive #but I'm gonna begin to think more deeply on Perendale's history #this is not at all polished #but it goes in the tag regardless so I can have it as a baseline for the future #META / HC: WORLD.

[irhinoceri]

Finished Asunder and have thoughts, though I don’t think it’s much different than the other reviews or hot takes I’ve seen about the book.

I finally listened to it because I wanted more Mage and Circle focused inspiration while I’m writing a Surana/Amell fic and also because I just am in a completionist mood wrt Dragon Age this year.

So, my thoughts:

Worth it if you love Cole. Best spirit. Not much to say about his storylines except that it makes me want to boot up Inquisition and take him everywhere with me.

Disappointing if you liked Wynne or Shale in Origins and care about Wynne and her son or the quest to return Shale to a dwarven body. Wynne has some moments but her wishy-washy pro-Circle attitude is annoying at best and nonsensical at worst. The fact that she gives up her life to save Evangeline is weird because... well she does it just because her son was sad about his Templar love interest dying and that’s a terrible reason to kill off a character, imo. It reduced Wynne to the sacrificial mother and that’s just... meh.

I’d like to find out what happens to Shale after this. There’s no mention of her in Inquisition but she’s still alive at the end of Asunder. I wonder if she’ll return in DA4.

Rhys also suffered from the wishy-washiness, though I could forgive him because he’d spent his whole life in a circle and doesn’t truly know how else to be and part of the story is him coming to terms with the system being broken. But Adrian is a far more dynamic and sympathetic character. She’s basically Anders in the story and the book did not successfully make me hate her just like DA2 didn’t make me hate Anders.

Still don’t understand why the Equitarians gave Rhys the final vote to speak for them all and make the decision to start the Mage rebellion or not. I do appreciate that the character development of Rhys led him to chose Rebellion but that doesn’t mean the people in the story should have given him that power just because his mother used to be the leader of the Equitarians. The mage fraternities aren’t a monarchy.

For most of the story I hated Evangeline, mostly because the narration kept trying to convince me that she Wasn’t Like Other Templars and Wasn’t Like Other Noble Girls. But she still did a lot of Bad Templar Crap and had cringeworthy attitudes about the value of the Templar order and the Chantry’s exploitation of mages (basically she fully supports treating mages like children as long as you’re compassionate about infantilizing and enslaving people). I don’t think she deserved as much fanfare as she got until the very end when she finally took a stand against Lambert. She was inconsistently drawn, just like Rhys.

Their romance was dull and uninspired. Look, I have trouble with writing romance, too... so maybe I shouldn’t bust Gaider’s balls so hard. But still, I think he has written better romances in other novels and romance storylines in game, so this one just stands out.

Frankly I got more romance from Cole and Rhys than Rhys and Evangeline.

Adrian’s unrequited love for Rhys was sad. Girl, you could do better.

I don’t know how anyone could read this book and side with the Templars, but then I don’t know how anyone could be pro-Templar even without having read this book, so I guess I’ll just never understand that crowd.

#asunder #dragon age

[roachfurby]

It seems to me that the epilogue with the creation of a hospital for the Templars is more suitable for Samson than for Cullen. But Bioware could not allow anyone to become better than their holy Cullen. What do you think?

TLDR GOING HERE BC I RANTED SORRY (rant under cut): 

First off, sorry for taking so long to reply, I accidentally took my night time meds instead of my day time meds earlier and my ability to function and like. articulate thoughts has not been ideal lmao. also im still really fucky so if i sound like a crackhead im sorry lol

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’d have switched Samson and Cullen’s Inquisition roles immediately if given the option. Why bioware is so obsessed with him is absolutely befuddling to me - especially when it came to inquisition.

Cullen’s story arc was completed in DA2, imo, while Samson’s was just beginning. Cullen didn’t really DO any growth in Inquisition other than the whole quitting lyrium thing, and even then it’s just like. One cut scene and a bit of war table banter? He still hates mages. He’s still heavily supports the templars. Nothing about him changes or grows, even if you romance him as a mage. If you romance him as a mage, he sees you as an exception, and then continues to spout bigoted nonsense about how dangerous mages are. 

Samson had so much more potential for growth, and would have fit into the “Progressive Commander” role much more easily given his notable (though imperfect) support of mages in DA2. His issue with lyrium are also already shown in DA2, and his struggle to quit lyrium as commander in inquisition would have had much more impact on him as a character and on players emotionally. The lyrium rehab would have been a massive accomplishment and source of pride for him, something with strong ties to his background and his struggles, while for cullen it seems more like an afterthought imho.

As for a romance route, the potential for angst+comfort is so fucking good. Struggling with lyrium withdrawal? Feelings of inadequacy in his position? Templar guilt? Overwhelmed by Everything? SO much comfort potential. Not to mention the fact that the reason he was kicked from the templars in the first place was bc he was smuggling love letters to and from a mage and his lover - thats romantic as hell?? Absolutely lovely?? He was willing to take a massive risk to let two lovers keep in contact, got booted out of the templars for it, continued to support mages, and even tried to save one of them after the world went to shit, and they choose Creepen Stalkerford (shout out to fem!surana/amell lol) instead?? the fuck. 

Maybe its because Cullen was a useful pawn to make it easier to force the whole grey morality thing. Leliana is a mage supporter, and Josephine speaks in favor of the mages a few times. Maybe to them Cassandra (and Viv. and bull. and Sera.) wasn’t enough of a pro-templar influence, or they felt they needed a staunchly pro-templar adviser, not a companion. No matter the reason, he honestly feels shoehorned in - they suspiciously do not have anyone mentioning the darker parts of his past in the game, they dont have anyone speaking out against him, it’s as if they tried to wipe all of the problematic (and honestly, evil) parts of his past away to make room for this new Courageous Tortured Soul who wants to speak out against the “injustices of the chantry against templars” or whatever the fuck. 

Meanwhile, there is a wonderful option to allow character growth for a man who has done little wrong other than to send refugee mages to shifty people (but where else could he send them?) and has suffered at the hands of the chantry far, far worse. Cullen left of his own accord, after years of being in power. Samson was tossed out into the streets, lyrium addicted, for allowing lovers to keep in contact. And what do they do with this character? the sidekick to the shittiest main villain in the damn franchise. The wasted potential is sickening!!!!

Fuck, even if Samson wasn’t the commander, the potential for him to be brought in by the inquisition as a companion or even perhaps an agent would have been leagues better!! Personal or war table missions (depending on if hes a companion or agent) relating to lyrium and helping him and/or other addicts recover safely, the Inquisition showing support for those seeking aid by creating the rehabilitation centers. Less of a chance of people falling prey to tainted lyrium and joining corypheus if there are safe alternatives available, yes? And, as for the grey morality scale bioware wants with the companions? Just have him be an optional companion! That way, if a player wanted their inquisition to be heavily pro-templar (freaks) then they could just say “no thanks” and be on their way, personal morality in tact. 

Not to mention that any of these options would make it so that everyone would get Calpernia as secondary villain, who honestly feels much more deep and fulfilling as a villain.

anyway ive exhausted my 2 brain cells for the day. please grab a nice tall glass of Loving Samson Juice on ur way out :)

#my third brain cell; drunk as shit watching the other two type all this out: wow bitches b goin off over there huh #anti cullen #long post #uhhhh idk what else to tag im sleeby #Anonymous

[icharchivist]

Thanks for such a detailed answer!!! I'm really torn between Celene/Briala and Gaspard/Briala because I know Celene/Briala would be better in the long run but at the same time their relationship was messed up and I feel bad convincing them to get back together. I feel like my Inquisitor wouldn't be able to overlook Celene burning the alienage either. But I don't generally like Gaspard either! I'm just gonna have to keep thinking about it lol... one of those options where I'll never be 100% happy

My pleasure :3c 

yeah basically that’s the thing. 

I try to think about the fact my Inquisitor doesn’t know the details of what Celene had done/how bad the relationship was with Brialla to give me better conscience doing that tbh, bc yeah, my Inquisitor cannot know those stuff, no one BRIEFED US about that. 

And my characters are inclined to pragmatism with Orlais and especially i’m just… very disgusted about Gaspard’s glorification of expensionism and i really don’t want him going in power and giving for message to anyone in Orlais “even if he doesn’t carry through with his expensionist ideals, it is A-OK to think so”

Politically speaking I really think Celene’s stability would at least stop people who agree with Gaspard from acting up. Bc Celene would remain undefeated for 10 years, so you don’t want to challenge her. While Gaspard being a new leader would bring instability of anyone going “well we recently overthrew the regime let’s do it again”.

I think i’m just… uncomfortable with the thing Gaspard would inspire with people in Orlais in general, even more than his actions.

Celene had done horrible things and i dont condone anything she’s done but she had been more stealthy about it, so her publically recognizing the elven would just send the message “the Empress wants to support the elven and no one had been able to defeat her”, without people to know eventually of her crimes.

And it’s horrible!!! like i hate that. I really really hate that.

But pragmatically speaking I also think that Celene would have had a hard time backing out of her open support to the elven after the affirmed this situation y’know? She would be a bit trapped by the obligations and manoeuvre she took. 

I don’t think Gaspard would care as much for public image so nothing would stop him to go back on his word. 

Ultimately Gaspard is too unstable and dangerous and is openly encouraging bad ideology. Celene is still dangerous, but the message she’d send would be far more calculated and there would be less risks of it backfiring. 

And it kills me for Briala to encourage her back in this, on a personal level, but it’s Orlais, one of the greatest Powerhouse of Thedas, house of the Chantry (which is pretty much anti elves), which is planning unification with Ferelden. As much as it kills me i think pragmatism is the better option because of how important Orlais is. It would have been Kirkwall i would have considered the feelings of its participants a bit more, but here it’s too big. 

Bc like, Orlais being pro elves during the time the Chantry is unstable to start with could really help changing the ties. And imo it would work better with a publically present Briala, than with her manipulating from the shadows. I mean, if the Chantry learns Briala is manipulating Gaspard it would add to anti-elf propaganda in a way her situation with Celene would do it less. (btw your decision of a leader would also change the outcome for the way the Chantry will be handled in the future too so i think it’s worth considering) 

And on an international matter outside of the Chantry, there’s intra politics with Nevarra and Ferelden, again two countries known for being often at war with Orlais. Gaspard wants war on them and had been pretty vocal about it. Celene wants peace and back in DAO (Return to Ostagar) we know she wanted to actually unify Orlais and Ferelden with a wedding to make sure this bad blood wouldn’t settle in. Celene is actively trying to undo the expensionist past of her predecessor while Gaspard wants to bring it back. And it is recent history enough for Ferelden (see Loghain) that a leader who had talked length about wanting Ferelden back would be like a war declaration in itself, compared to the leader who had done everything to appease the relationship between the two countries ever since she came to power.

(and it’s not to mention Celene is opened to magic in a way we don’t know Gaspard’s intention. That said considering the Circles were originally created in order to use Mages as weapons during war times, I’d say it’s pretty likely Gaspard would want the system to be restored in order to have his war’s ideals fullified, in a way Celene would probably give it more of a leeway)

I care a lot for the Elves and I would do as much as possible for them, it’s just that Orlais’s and its leader situation is Too Big Of An Issue for me to nippick on personal details. 

*shrugs* then i play my Inquisitors with generally a very stressed out sense of responsability (My Trevelyan Mage was basically characterized by “how to find ways for things to do the least damage as possible while changing things for the best” from her Circle days, and my Lavellan Mage being older and first to the Keeper had a high sense of responsability and was formed to take harsh decision in order to take over as a Keeper, so it puts them in a better situation to try to “just avoid breaking things further and what is the best situation we can get”), so this is what i’d see them priviligize. And again neither had been really briefed about how bad Celene had been.

If your inquisitor has a personality that would priviligize something else for whatever reasons (we all roleplay differently) i still think it’s important to take that into account in your decision: it’s your character who picks after all so it should reflect that. 

So yeah i hope it helps and good luck with that kdjhfdkj Take care :3c

#ichafantalks da #icouldbemoreclever #ichareply

[dalishious]

Could I hear your opinions on Meredith and Orsino?

Meredith is a very easy villain to hate.

Her WoTv2 tries to paint her as this sympathetic character; it tells of her older sister being a mage, and her parents hid her from the Chantry knowing she would not survive in the Circle, but when she was found out, and the templars came for her, in fear she turned into an abomination and killed a bunch of people, including Meredith’s parents. Meredith from this point on hated mages, instead of, you know, the system that put her sister in that position.

Meredith claims to uphold Chantry values, while actively going against their own rules, because she knew there would be no consequences for it. And so she threw the Rite of Tranquility at mages left and right, at random at times just for the sake of intimidation. She locks the mages up in cells, tortures them, sends templars to harass family members of mages... The list of things we see/hear goes on and on. Meredith was a monster long before the red lyrium corrupted her mind.

That being said, while it is absolutely not an excuse, I do think it is something to take into consideration when talking about her paranoia after obtaining the red lyrium idol. It’s why at the end of the day, I think I consider Elthina to be a greater evil than even Meredith, because while Meredith was, as I said, evil to begin with, in the end she was not in total control of herself, but Elthina was, and still supports Meredith.

Orsino on the other hand, is a very tragic character. One of the most heartbreaking line deliveries in the entire franchise is from him, IMO, with his line, “Why don’t they just drown us as infants? Why wait? Why give us the illusion of hope?” His WoTv2 entry tells of how he held onto hope for so long, a desire to just survive one day at a time, while all his friends around him were killing themselves rather than bare their harsh imprisonment. And when there was no First Enchanter, he took the job rather than see the position be lost, and the mages loose the only piece of a voice they had. He used his position to try and rally sympathy from Kirkwall, and inspire the mages in the Gallows to keep living, that someday, things will be better. And everything he did was met with opposition, but still, he kept fighting.

It all makes his ending all the more devastating, because this is a man who spent his life trying to keep others from giving up hope, finally giving up hope himself. Calling it an illusion, and becoming a Harvester.

#meredith stannard #orsino #suicide tw #Anonymous #ask

[dragonage-addiction]

venting about anders

I have tried to understand it but every time I see a post applauding Anders for destroying the chantry, where people call him brave and a hero I just….i don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable I understand that the mages have been abused for so long and to many of them this is their siren song to freedom, to a better life and I love that I love the rebellion. Imo there is no nobler cause than fighting for a better life for the next generation but I still can’t condone what Anders did.

people say that what he did wasn’t an act of terrorism because “he was in the right”, fighting the good fight for all mage kind…but that doesn’t absolve him of guilt. He committed mass murder. He destroyed the chantry, exploded it. to smithereens. Surely not everyone inside had personally wronged a mage in their life. Surely some in there had shown them kindness, been allies, had worked quietly in the shadows to give mages a better life.

But maybe most of them were horrible people, maybe most of them actively spoke against the plight of the mages and belittled their suffering maybe they wanted to prevent mages from leaving the circle because they were scared and small minded. But does that mean they deserved death? And who was justice to determine that? Justice is inherently biased because it is relative. To Anders the only kind of justice was death to pay for the countless lives of innocent mages lost. But in doing that, he robbed the people inside of their own justice. Redemption.

True there are some people that maybe don’t deserve redemption but that isn’t and never will be my choice to make (and it certainly wasn’t anders’). The most beautiful part of humanity is our capacity to learn and change. He stole that from them. In one second, any potential for good within that chantry went up in flames. Anders never believed peace was possible, but in that moment he murdered any chance for reconciliation, mutual growth, that a different group of people might have fought for. He took that from them too.

Anders looks broken afterwards but resigned as he carelessly puts his fate in someone else’s hands. Afterall, It doesn’t matter anymore since he’s done his job. He knew going in that his life was forfeit and he didn’t raise a finger or say a word to stop his execution. My Hawke stared at the death he had caused and mourned the loss of her love. The man who said he was willing to sacrifice hundreds of lives for the sake of thousands, the doctor, the same man who spent his days healing the wounded was willing to murder to prevent more suffering. Hawk’s heart broke for him because that was the moment she realized that Anders had lost his humanity. The Anders she loved was gone./p>

So no, I don’t like it when people romantisice terrorism-and that WAS terrorism- because it promotes a toxic radical idealism that its only one way or the other when in reality things are much more grey. Anders convinced himself that the only way to create change was with violence, to force feed it down the chantry’s throat. And sure the redemption route is longer and harder but who are we if we dont try? How many lives will be lost in the provocation of war? How much further from understanding and respect will they be after the war is over and each soldier has become intimately familiar with grief and loss. How much less likely is anyone to forgive the ones who forced them to experience this? Violence drives a wedge in an already polarized society, its a catalyst outrage alone. It is infinitely easier to try to fight for the winning team than to seek to unite them.

Anders wasn’t fighting the good fight. He was giving up.

TL;DR: I can’t forgive Anders for destroying the chantry because he chose destruction out of desperation and prejudice. He didn’t entertain the notion of peace and then destroyed any possibility of it. War invokes change but it also creates distrust and wedges people even further apart. Anders wasn’t really fighting the good fight, he was giving up, giving in to his relative notion of justice in a blind rage. rather than fight to the death for peace he gave his life for chaos. Therefore do not celebrate or justify what he did, because it was conceived out of hate and we have enough hate in this world so don’t spread that ideology around. I firmly believe that people always deserve the benefit of the doubt and if you don’t share that sentiment then you don’t want peace. You want war.

#anders critical #a lot of opinions in here #don't get me wrong #i love anders #but he made a horrible mistake taking out the chantry #he took so much from those people #and he gave up his humanity #under the guise of a savior #he brought war and hell to the land while he escaped in death #he left the sjws with only death to work with in destroying all possibility of peace #ensuring that the war could only end one way #with one affirmed ideology and many many dead and broken people #he could have promoted peace #but instead he chose to give up #sorry guys i am very passionate about human growth #i believe that it is the only thing that sets us apart as a species #our capacity to learn and compromise #and whenever i see people celebrating the destruction of the chantry #it just reminds me how polarized our society in america is today #and i want so badly to prevent violent deaths irl because of prejudice and hate #it all starts with things like this #romanticized radicalism in pop culture #there are only 2 ways it can resolve: #1) one side be it liberal or conservative emerges victorious and crushes the opposing faction into nonexistence #or #2) they find a way to understand each other #and learn

[sorceressofsass]

3 , 7, 8, 9, 17, 18, 23, 25, 32, 36, 41 -- good luCK

42 character development questions >> accepting!

I have no regrets 8)

3. How do they position themselves in a group? Do they like to be the center of attention, or do they hang back at the edges of a crowd? 

Kaitlyn is an in the center of attention type person. She’s extroverted and loves talking with people, making them laugh, and feels best when she’s around others. 

7. How do they physically engage with other people, inanimate objects, and their environment? What causes the differences between these?

People: If she knows them, she has a tendency to be touchy-feely and likes to give hugs, put her arm around their shoulders/elbow on their head (depending on height), and generally be in close proximity.

Inanimate Objects: Well, she doesn’t pick up anything that isn’t her own, but she will idly play with a deck or card hand or trace along her cup. At least when she’s not gesturing as she talks. Often they’re used as props to do something silly.

Environment: It depends, but she doesn’t really interact much with her environment besides the occasional stretching or repositioning her stance. 

With people, it boils down to wanting to be close and accepted by others. Inanimate objects are distractions or ways to get attention by doing something silly. Her environment has always been something she needs to be on edge about so I feel like there’s contrast in how she behaves sometimes and how still she can be otherwise ? I don’t know if I’m expressing that properly.

8. Where and when do they seem most and least at ease? Why? How can you tell? 

I think Kaitlyn always appears to be at ease. If you don’t know her well enough, she’ll be joking up until she takes her dying breath and you might be like, wow she took nothing seriously. She might seem most at ease at a bar with a drink in her hand. While she is, it’s probably not in a good way, and I think she’s more peaceful when she’s using healing magic and has Shadow near her. 

9. How do they manifest energy, exhaustion, tension, or other strong emotions?

It manifests more in her actions than any body language. She’s schooled her body language to be very specific. Growing up an apostate, she’s had to blend in while also being hyper aware of those around her and for any sign of Templars. When in Kirkwall, there are very few places she’ll let her guard down, and even then it’s minimal because it’s just that ingrained. So her strong emotions tend to manifest in bad jokes, drinking, gambling, and throwing herself at a task completely. 

17. Are they more shaped by nature or nurture — who they are, or what has happened to them? How have these shaped who they’ve become as a person?

I think Kaitlyn is much more strongly a product of her environment than her genes. It’s like, she was meant to be this funny, outgoing person who enjoys life. That has been twisted by her environment in how she was forced to grow up, such as being constantly on edge and vigilant for anything that might tear her family apart.

18. What kind of person could they become in the future? What are some developmental paths that they could take, (best, worst, most likely?) what would cause them to come to pass, and what consequences might they have? What paths would you especially like to see, and why?

Kaitlyn has the potential to do a lot of things, but based on my farthest canon point time for her…. umm, well it ends in her in the Fade and dead so…

Best: She recognizes her issues with alcohol dependency, starts a slow recovery, focuses on herself, moves back to Kirkwall and helps with the rebuilding in a place that accepts her. This is the one I want to see lol I can’t think of many consequences to this as it’s more a road to recovery and that’s the point.

Worst and Likely are the same cause, IMO, it’d the worst for her to sacrifice herself at Adamant and stay behind in the Fade, but it’s the most likely. She’s on a self-driven suicide mission. 

23. How do they respond to difficult social moments? What makes them consider a social situation difficult?

She responds with jokes, sarcasm, and occasionally impassioned pleas to not kill anyone. She responds to pretty much everything with jokes unless the situation calls serious words. She doesnt try to read people and do what she thinks will appeal to them most if it’s a serious moment. It becomes difficult for her when she comes to situations where she’s forced to not be her soft-hearted self who wants to save and help everyone, even to the determent of herself and those around her. 

25. What do they need and want out of relationships, and how do they go about getting it?

What Kaitlyn wants are people to help. She’s done this ever since she was little and started helping her mom, who was stressed from working, worrying her apostate family might be found, taking care of twins, and dealing with the death of her parents as well as the alienation from her brother. I think Leandra loves her kids unconditionally, but for little Kait she could see how upset she was but could not understand why or what was going on and internalized some of it on accident. It created this need to be acknowledged by her mom and she started taking care of things that fell through the cracks. She fulfills her want for recognition and love by going out of her way, bending until her back breaks, to help people. 

What she needs out of a relationship is someone to tell her no, stop doing this to yourself, it’s not healthy. Recognizes all she’s doing and makes her stop and take care of herself. But she doesn’t want to stop so she tries to never bring it up/never bring attention to it.

And if you’ll permit me to gush about vaitlyn real quick, that’s what I love about them because Varric, I think, would recognize it and is in a unique position to do so. He reads people and, as a younger brother, catches what falls through the cracks, and he’s very good at reading people. Also, he wouldn’t stand for her weak excuses. 

32. Do they have any “props” that are a significant part of their life, identity, activities, or self-presentation somehow? What are they, how are they used, and why are they so significant? How would these props’ absence impact them, how would they compensate, and why?

Her father’s old staff, a golden metal staff with Andraste carved out at the top, is very significant to her and she keeps it close religiously even though she’s really not all that religious herself. But she uses it as a reminder, as a guiding post, as something to remember her father by. He taught her magic, taught her how to shoot with a bow, cared for her and their family deeply. Even after what happens at the Vinmarks., she doesn’t think less of him. Not having it with her doesn’t necessarily make her upset as long as she knows it’s safe, but if it’s in danger or lost she gets extremely upset. It’s one of the few things she has left of her family. There would be no way to compensate it.

36. How much do they rely on their minds and intellect, versus other approaches like relying on instinct, intuition, faith and spirituality, or emotions? What is their opinion on this? 

With very little hobbies to do as a girl (they could go outside but only when watched and sometimes that wasn’t always an option because her parents were busy. unsupervised wasn’t encouraged/allowed, imo, because she was still an untrained mage at that point) so she grew up reading a lot of books. Her mother didn’t bring anything from home, but as a noble Leandra was well-educated and wanted her children to be so too. Her father was deeply religious and I imagine Leandra was too, but Kaitlyn never took to it strongly due to how the Chantry and the world perceived mages like her and her family, the very reason she had to grow up in hiding and why for a year they were on the road running so their family wouldn’t be torn apart.

So, when it comes to relying on things, she’s more likely to go with intellect and intuition and her emotions. Definitely, definitely her emotions. She thinks this is all a good way to process the world.

41. What associations do they bring to mind? Words or phrases, images, metaphors or motifs? Why? 

Cold, dying embers, herbs peeking through soil, flesh curling like burned paper, feathers falling, open books, fresh ink on parchment, flour, dough sticking to hands, smell of wet dog, hair in your mouth, dog slobber, piled up books, puns

It would take a while to go through all of these but a lot of them have to do with activities, skills she’s picked up, traumatic events, what she values, things like that.

#solesurvivorjo #about kait #mun response