#that’s what makes it all so painful

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for? #open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer) #maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel #once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs #i respected their commitment to the theme #but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities #dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton #ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered #i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it #aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment #honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet #letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already. #really i've put off my responsibilities long enough #(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings) #(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time) #(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.) #(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile. #This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature. #But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly' #My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out. #Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth. #I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity- #-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly. #Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose. #You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards. #Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever. #To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss. #Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'. #described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

[claraoswalds]

The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userveronika #userteri #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor x clara #twelveclara #* #I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS. #ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO. #I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE. #anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like #she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too -> #he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal -> #look how far i went for fear of losing you #ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that

[szfiction]

This parallel makes me insane actually (and there is something incredibly Lawlu about it to me)

#One Piece #Monkey D. Luffy #Sanji #Trafalgar Law #Lawlu #something about Luffy saying almost the exact same thing that Corazon said to Law makes me so emotional actually #It's easy to think Corazon and Luffy would get along. they are both kindhearted goofy sweethearts #but it's more than JUST that #it's that deeper thing where they understand and carry the pain of the people they hold dear #And it's the fact that overhearing Corazon say this is pretty much what changed Law's life #To know that he is cared for and seen and someone wants the best for him #And then Law loses him #And then years later he aligns himself with Monkey D Luffy #Someone who has these echoes of Corazon in him #The echoes of the person he held so close to his heart #Like. It's no wonder Law is so compelled and mystified by Luffy in equal measure #I think if Law heard Luffy say this to Sanji he'd go insane #cause I know he's remember everything Cora said that night exactly #and it might tell him why he sought out and believed in Luffy against all odds and logic #(why he cares for him so much too. why Luffy's stubborn insistence on loving him without condition is so familiar) #I don't even know if these tags are making any sense but IM FEELING THINGS OK #donquixote rosinante #Corazon

[haunted-xander]

Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that #like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was #but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it #urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her #it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang) #THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice) #AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything #urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred? #silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation #y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance #too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change #and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK #GOD #urianger augurelt #thancred waters #ryne waters #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne #urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag

[hallowclave]

Small but knowing wxs

#project sekai #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #wonderlands x showtime #my art #u can tell who got drawn first and who got drawn last that’s all I’m saying #based on their initial unit outfits but with many creative liberties taken #tsukasa was a pain in the ass bc his outfit is boring but I mainly focused on his gay little Diamond belt #originally his costume was darker hence the dark outlines but it didn’t read as his initial costume so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #emu got stripes bc 1 her sock 2 her dress skirt. had to include the orange and red in her hat tho lesbian dress reigns supreme #nene got polka dots bc they’re cute that’s it #& rui I just had fun with #oh their makeup is based on their world link card suits 👍🏻 does not read well w the hair but what can u do #one day I won’t draw super tiny on a canvas that is normal sized and have to do the crop of shame #but it is not today #one day I will also make a serious drawing again probably but I am lazy

[insomnya777]

boat boys coded

#....does this make sense #it does in my head #lovers lane. dead end. #aka double life #they know it won't lead anywhere #in the long run it will only end in pain #whether it ends in a screaming match or just one too many empty promises — it doesn't matter. it still ends either way #and that's the part that really counts #but they don't do anything about it because what is there to do? your only option is to live the story #even if you know how it ends #so they go along with it #what other choice do they have? #they fall in love and they kiss and they kill and they do it all together. they follow lovers lane all the way until the end of the road #until they can't deny it anymore #their time is up #double life is over #they're running on borrowed time - delaying the inevitable #it's a dead end #and it was always going to be #and somewhere in between they may have convinced themselves that it might be different #(it's not) #(it never is) #IS THIS ANYTHING GUYS... #maybe i'm just insane #nya talks #hermitblr #trafficblr #joel smallishbeans #boat boys #smalletho

[petorahs]

shuake works because it feels like akechi's the only one who listens to akira and prompts the otherwise quiet leader to talk.

in a game about defiant teens making their voice heard, goro akechi listens to akira's voice from the get-go. out of detective-sleuthing/work duties, sure, but over time it's clear that akechi genuinely finds akira interesting.

in fact, akechi's confidant route regardless of which game is being played starts with him deeming akira the antithesis to his thesis, a "worthwhile debate partner". akechi values joker's opinions.

its always nice to see people point out that in that one 3rd sem phone call with akechi, its the most involved akira's been in a conversation in-game. i myself remember inserting a lot more input during that story-sequence which usually i can put on autoplay otherwise. akechi, in a whole different reality, still seeks out joker's opinions on it. it's like he trusts no one but him.

and imo this gives a lot of character to akira. he talks the most with akechi. the quietest people have the most on their minds, and it shows with akira. but akira never gets a say in anything, and who would listen? he's less than a nobody in reality since society dictated that. so he pointedly made himself silent, hiding his thoughts beneath an impenetrable mask. during important story moments, akira favors doing more than saying. his teammates and confidants are all directly inspired by his actions over the course of the game.

but with akechi, it's different. actions seem to take a backseat as they continue with their verbal back-and-forth. in rank 7 of royal, they play pool while talking, but it's clear to the outsider that the focus is in the layered conversation they're having. they primarily talk everytime akechi's in the coffee shop, because they dont usually see eachother in their busy schedules. it's not just "hi, hello, how are you?" with them but "i find you and everything you stand for interesting. let's talk more."

there's something to be said about how two people with vastly different and opposing views seek eachother out to further discuss things instead of antagonizing eachother. its why maruki said "despite being enemies, your relationship was never based on hatred or ill will".

their relationship was never a one-sided thing. akechi helps joker as much as joker helps him... arguably more. he eggs joker on, shows him that he can do better. otherwise, the leader would remain stagnant and unchallenged. there is no progress where there is no thesis and-- you can finish the rest.

#persona 5 #shuake #goro akechi #akira kurusu #been defensively quiet lately and was thinking how nice it is to have someone listen to and validate my thoughts. #maybe not always agree but. making me feel like my words are worthwhile #aishi.docx #and then i realized thats exactly what akechi does with joker. damn rivals... #they should exist irl too... #oh to have a smug pretty n intelligent boyfriend telling me im smart while he twirls his spoon in the tea i made him... #anyway i really like the topic of joker's quietude cause i feel like it makes sense that he wasnt always like that at all. #him becoming quiet after getting shut down over and over is like. so humbling and a real epidemic i fear... #this is a personal post more than anything i feel HSJDBJS me giving joker my fears and pains. but actually joker copied ME #(said like a totally normal person)

[thermodynamic-comedian]

arthur and john's relationship is built on codependence and working together because there's no other choice, but it's also a lot about arthur projecting onto john. arthur considers himself a failure as a person, but now he has a chance to prove that someone evil can actively choose to be better. he believes that if john can be saved, so can he. if john can be redeemed, so can he. that's why he tries, at every possible turn, to push john to be better. that's also why, whenever john takes a few steps back in progress, it has such an intense effect on arthur. because he wants to save john.

because if he can save john, he'll finally have proven to himself that he can be saved too.

#idk this might be nothing #arthur lester as a character just. really resonates with me in a way no other protagonist ever has lol #he drags himself around like a corpse. #you've heard of characters that live in hells of their own making #but arthur lester lives in a purgatory of his own making #constantly pulling himself upwards even as the weight of his mistakes keep dragging him down #he lives because he believes he does not deserve the peace of death #nor the forgiveness of the universe #hope is all he has. hope and endurence and sheer will to make himself pay for his mistakes. #that's why he is the way he is. moving forward despite everything because what's behind is too painful to face. #...and he has miles to go before he sleeps. #FUCK. IM SO UNWELL ABOUT ARTHUR LESTER. #malevolent podcast #malevolent #malevpod #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

They drive me insaaaaaaane !!!!!!!!!!!!

#The pale king considers it a sacrifice!!!! #For hollow!!!!!! #Dedicates a fountain in the center of his city to Hollow #The totems in the path of PAIN #THE PATH OF PAIN IN GENERALLL #THE WORLDSENSE SPELL #HE LOVED HIS CHILDDD!!!!! #He didn't have to/shouldn't have done any of this #!!!! #If Hollow was truly an empty vessel none of it should matter #But it mattered to the pale king his child always mattered AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA #And he was loved in return :') #They drive me LITERALLY INSANE!!!!!!! #They are so messed up #hollow knight #hk thk #hk pv #hk the pure vessel #the pale king #Yes I do recognize that PK was not at all a good father #And was quite horrible in many ways obviously #And this relationship was really messed up but listen #That's what's makes it so interesting #It's what drives me insane #!!!

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi prime defenders spoilers #jrwi pd spoilers #jrwi pd #william wisp #vyncent sol #THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it. #BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece #i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW) #that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that #if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles. #open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho #BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses... #lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH #FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE #i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony #recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day #ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw- #-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM- #-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS #its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not #well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i- #-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!! #i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i

[milkweedman]

It is interesting how much math comes into even the most basic of like. Making things. Making almost anything. And often not numbers necessarily but proportions and geometry. I think all the time about how castles were built with geometry at the heart of it. And I use the same kind of proportional math to make socks fit. And none of my pieces are ever knit with a prime number of stitches--because you use factors to make neat colorwork and ribbing and different stitches. Idk ! I remember constantly thinking 'how the hell is THIS gonna come in useful ?' But it always does. Math is at the heart of everything, and knowing how to apply it is a tool of critical importance to Thinking Up A Shape And Making It.

#it turns out it is not covid vaccine making me highly fucked up but rather this new med which is fun #um #one of thise 'high but wow. in such a bad way' kinda experience atm #almost fell down the stairs #tripped while just standing #and its like. ok so the thing is i go to pain management to manage my pain right ? makes sense #and then all they have to offer is shit that fucks me up more. the muscle relaxant that seems to have permanently #loosened all my joints so they are WAY WORSE NOW #stupid ssris that make me fall constantly and fuck with my brain #i literally just need a painkiller that works. that is all. we know what was effective from surgery #but they of course will never prescribe opiods. oh the horror. imagine. #i could scream #anyway. uh thinking about the interconnectedness of math in all things is much more fun than screaming #knitting

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies. #What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features) #I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status. #'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point! #Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope. #Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life. #She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'. #Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING) #Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her. #She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want. #And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy. #Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow. #Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

[fairuzfan]

Zionists/Symathizers who say "Palestinians should be taken by Egypt/Lebanon/Jordan and just live there forever" have no idea what a refugee camp is like.

#you all sit at the comfort of your air conditioned homes #meanwhile people in refugee camps struggle to find their next meal #my family member told me about how she didn't have running water for days #she didn't have food except for bread thyme and olive oil for days #how the concrete houses they slept in were so cold in the winter #how severely overcrowded they are #how terrible the healthcare is #you lot have no idea what that does to a person growing up #my family member can't remember most of her childhood because of that shit #fuck off #you will never know their pain and yet you still make decisions on their fate #their lives are ruined #fuck you #what are they supposed to do now mother fuckers

[sunnykeysmash]

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #macdennis #macden #analysis #meta #a beautiful smile to hide the pain... #what if i told you this post was inspired by me listening to SURFACE PRESSURE from encanto and thinking ''it's mac'' #who am i if can't carry it all. if i falter...... #i think if dennis could see mac's hole that hes hidden so well it would humble him. because he thinks mac doesn't care. he does #hes under a lot of pressure all the time. self imposed. to make sure everyone is safe. shouldering it all and pretending to be fine. #to be worthy of their love. to be in control #if they could see each other's holes and realize how similar yet opposite their experiences are... like foils. #hiding their vulnerability from the other #i could talk about this dynamic of taking care of each other for days dont try me #can we talk about also that part in hits theroad where they were talking abt a guy seeming fine then going crazy right before mac says that #can we acknowledge that it was about mac. and he really could snap any moment from the pressure #the more demanding dennis is of his help. the thinner mac is spread. can weeee talk about ittttt #parallels

[catocappuccino]

He got a sweater WITH A DOG ON IT?! So happy and joyous

#just to inform you... I can draw N unless I can't. The way I do changes nearly all the time I need to make a design sheet for him or smth 😭 #this is a doodle from 2 days ago didn't want to post it at first but honestly he is so cute looking here I need to share him with the world #don't be fooled by his sweet looks tho he will frikken murder you if he wants to. just you wait. #murder drones got me out of an artblock but did something to my artstyle too like what happened (what only drawing robots for 2 months #gay does to an artist) (NAH BUT WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY FIRST MD FANART it'll be funny) (it was of Uzi [ofc] and I got her design wrong on so #many levels remember to use more references than one render from the wiki kids) #okay time for the actual tags now #serial designation n #n murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones #my art #have a nice 24 hours and ONLY 24 hours. The rest of your hours shall be filled with misery and pain. /(serial designation) J