#that’s prob gonna happen a lot

[atsukunaritai]

ワンルームエンジェル　第１・２話　　　　　 　　　one room angel - ep. 1&2

#just started watching this so i'm mad i juuust missed ep2 release on tver and now can't find a quality source for it sorry for this trash #a harada manga getting a live action... who would've ever thought. luckily i don't remember what happens in this one so it's a surprise #at least i feel like i remember this one being way less f'd up than the others so it's prob a good one to do a live action on haha #one room angel #jdrama #i'm happy i don't really remember what happens in this one but regardless it is harada so i'm guessing it won't be for everyone #but for people interested in Different stories with Different characters it's likely gonna be a refreshing one. a lot of moral greyness #this angel typing away on a smartphone and saying チン毛 like it's nothing... yeah that ep 3 reveal makes a lot of sense haha #i like how the dialogue is rly harada-esquely just Saying Shit so it's prob staying pretty close to the manga i think #honestly i just wanted to gif this mfer basically motorboating the wings hahahaa #but i don't have the ep in 1080p aaaaaaaaaaa so it looks like crap but it is what it is #mine

[thepoisonroom]

that post that's like "learning social skills helps with social anxiety" applies to dating also btw

#i guess they have a circular relationship because also going on lots of first dates was really trial by fire for me in learning lots lf #new social skills #meeting new people was never my strong suit and i was very afraid of it and would avoid it but like! #when i first tried going on first dates i learned a lot about how to meet people and met types of queer people i'd never met before #and actually it was good for me even though it was often weird and stressful #and it was a lower-stakes way to practice social skills that i otherwise would've just avoided using until they atrophied #anyway whenever i see a dating profile that's like 'i'm afraid of talking to women lol' i'm like ok relatable but what's your plan to learn #i think also just like it doesn't have to be through dating but it is good for you to meet other gay and trans people offline if possible #when i moved to wisconsin i only knew my coworkers who were mostly also twentysomethings who'd been hired straight from college #and it was good for me to meet and make friends with other local gay and trans people who were involved in different stuff #idk i just don't know how many more 'i'm obsessed with romance but scoff at the idea that i should do anything about that' posts i can read #like if i said i wanted to run a marathon but i never practiced running people would fairly be like okay that's prob not gonna happen #idk i know it's no skin off my nose i'm just like. if you never take any steps towards expressing your desires #how do you think they're going to just happen to you #personal nonsense

[wundrousarts]

Mini Silverborn Countdown

If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.

If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:

Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.

January — Nevermoor

April — Wundersmith

July — Hollowpox

#nevermoor #nevermoor fanart #nevermoor fanfic #silverborn #silverborn countdown challenge #thank you theo for reminding me to post abt this on here. I am stealing the “mini” moniker (?) in return. lol. #this was in my drafts and I forgot to post it. happens a lot lol. #anyways if you’re reading this happy new years ! #nine masterpost ver 1.0 dropping tomorrow evening prob bc I have had a headache all day and that’s the next time I’m free #now time to sleep. zzzzzz. perhaps I’ll have a prophetic silverborn dream. who knows. #I love giving myself set times to draw nevermoor things or just think about the series bc otherwise I go insane #literally thinking abt this stuff 24/7 it’s all I want to draw. But then I have to hold myself back + then end up never drawing anything lol #I have three big things planned for this like big pieces to work on over awhile and get myself out of my comfort zone #but idk what to draw for this first one. aahhhhh. excited for wundersmith and hollowpox though. #also I want to do a little animation for nevermoorian new years. which is on a leap day this year! how fun!! #I have an eternal nevermoor to-draw list that only gets bigger #sorry to the person that requested some Christmas stuff last year. I missed out and was gonna do it this year. then no time. so next year? 😅 #also 🏆 to anyone that ever reads my ramblings in my tags. I am so insane about nevermoor especially. <333

[this-should-do]

Inspired by a quote from the novel “White is for Witching” by Helen Oyeyemi

#gordon freeman #barney calhoun #half life 2 #gman #freehoun #just a lil if u want #its kinda up for interpretation #loves got a lot of meanings #blood tw #anyways love sitting down to make a comic finishing it and realizing uve been working for 8 hours straight and its 3 am lol #sumtimes the ideas too good lol #and its been happening alot lately #but its fine it just means i get to give yall more art #tho im prob gonna slow way down sine im going back to college soon lmao #rip freetime #idoindeeddraw

[hwiyoungies]

much love but this is why idols shouldn't say the time they were born lmao

#i know he prob said it knowing something like this was gonna happen #but idk!!! i now find it Odd #like before when i got into kpop i would eat this up like yeah tell me what's up with this dude #and maybe it's that now i'm too sensitive but this feels so invasive #love joking around when it comes to astrology and being like yeah he's like that because he's an aries #but this in depth thing about a stranger that didn't ask for his chart to be read #idk!! the few times i've had my chart read it's been very personal #and i guess it depends for everyone and maybe he doesn't care anymore #but the overanalyzing is a lot. like one thing is to joke and then dismiss it #another one is well. this #b.txt

[scarletiswailing347]

i cant find it anymore but this one post i read about zam caring about lifesteal for lifesteals sake while nobody else really does that inspired an au for me lol

#mine.txt #right as i was about to reblog it the page died #the joys (sarcastic) of having shit college internet #its also inspired by the many novels throughout history that present themselves as love stories #but are actually revolutionary/anti colonialism/nationalistic inntrospection pieces in disguise #im still workshopping it but its basically a neo-noir au where zams gf which is actually a stand in for lifesteal mysteriously dies and #zam not believing that she killed herself decides to investigate what happened himself #and along the way gets some other ppl to help him too #planet is also included in this cause his nosey ass is perfect for the story #its also princetech but im still trying to decide if im gonna base it on their ks dynamic or their ls dynamic or some kind of mixture #probs mixture ngl #also trying to decide if i should include pentar and jumper in the team of ppl wholl help zam out or not #also trying to decide if i should make it cyberpunk as a funny haha this is whats in store for zams future if he really meant it when he #said that hell keep playing on ls even when nobody else does #or if should just make it modern to keep it more grounded #so yeah a Lot of workshopping still

[xxswagcorexx]

grabs u by the shoulder. hey. hey u. have you've ever wanted to learn about a mcrp arc with themes about violence and the death of innocence, scary arcane experiments, political murder, and interdimensional travel where u meet alternative versions of urself?

well if any of that sounds awesome to you, BOY DO I JUST HAVE THE THING FOR YOU!!! midmysticx's egg arg in lifesteal season 4 has all of that!!! it had to be cut off short because of meta reasons, but with what was released so far, it was. So Cool .

now i HIGHLY recommend checking this out for yourself (a curated playlist that i made can be found here! it's pretty short but. imo the themes of it carry it in SUCH an interesting way), but if you don't have the time/want more. propaganda reasons why you should watch it, there's more under the cut!

(mild cw though for the "having a voice in your head through magic items/powers" trope! it plays a very small part in the story, but i'd figure i'd give a heads up just in case 👍)

ok so like. this arg happens in the canon of lifesteal season 4 (lifesteal seasons fully reset like hc seasons) and the main "progatanist" of this arg is c!midmysticx/c!mid, and most of the "lore" is told in the format of vhs tapes

that being said, c!mid is a little confusing in the way that s4!mid is implied to be a different character that c!mid from other seasons

i say that bc s4!mid made an "application video" for lifesteal, citing about how shes excited to join (even tho cc!mid has been a part of ls since s2)

also. very interestingly, mid excludes herself from the s4 start in a replay shot (even tho cc!mid was present during the s4 launch)

and interesting enough, s4!mid seems a bit. naive in the application video? like she mentions she's "good at editing" as one of her attributes on why she should be added to the server and mentions. nothing about the violence of the server (other than introducing the mechanics of the server which is LITERALLY about killing people to gain hearts and losing hearts when you get killed)

halfway through her application video, though (after a few months passed according to the date on the bottom of each video) she sounds very. bitter

the video changes to be all in black and white and she starts asking: "why? why do you all kill and ruin friendships and betray? all for hearts?!"--a MUCH different demeanor than what she had when she started. bitter and resentful, almost, compared with the excitement she showed earlier in her "application", and it ends with her announcing she stole the dragon egg and she's made 4 trials for people to look for it

anyways, moving onto the first tape that takes place ~around 2 months before the shift in demeanor, s4!mid starts to record video tapes about experiments she's doing with the dragon egg, eventually combining a heart with the dragon egg and opens up a portal

she doesnt know what on Earth it is so. shes testing it out right. like any person with safety concerns would

and well uh.

she puts a pig through and it fucking died

so . Erm! not a good start

anyways she eventually feels a voice/urge calling her to go through the portal even though she knows its risky, but she's been having such bad headaches that she goes through the portal anyways, ditching her plans to figure out how to control the power of the egg before going through it

and uh. heres where things get confusing again because this is where. the interdimensional stuff comes in

she arrives in an unknown location right. and. jumpscare . it ends up being a manor (and i'm just gonna call this mid "murder mystery!mid" bc the manor is the same one in one of her other videos, a halloween special where mid + co do a whodunit)

and basically, s4!mid witnesses a mayor election (which is a big part of murder mystery!mid's story), and after s4!mid explores for a little, s4!mid and murder mystery!mid eventually . make eye contact

and um. you see. s4!mid accidently eavesdrops (im assuming so? there's a tape of that and its been established that s4!mid films all of them herself) on murder mystery!mid's plan to kill the mayor and Uh. s4!mid. ends up also witnessing murder mystery!mid's murder as well

s4!mid gets chased and has to go back to the portal to escape, but the issue is. the portal doesnt bring her back to lifesteal. it brings her to eclipse smp

AND FUCKING BRINGS HER TO ECLIPSE!MID'S GRAVE

she eventually sees someone crying over eclipse!mid's grave before going away into the woods before hearing a sound and running away

that's where the arg (unfortunately) had to be cut off but like. Still. the part that makes me constantly rotate this arg in my head is the fact mid literally saw her own death. the different versions of her. her witnessing a version of her that was Willing to commit murder. the whole change in demeanor in the application video in such a short time .

anyways, if i had to homebrew an "ending" to this arg, i think mid would have traced back and started to Learn more about the other versions of herself, and eventually had a character arc where she just. witnesses all of this destruction and pain and suffering

and just. Realizes how much of that there can be and realizes how much stuff like that effects lifesteal and how. pointless it is in the end.

and eventually, in a last ditch effort to have everyone work together again and despite all she's been through, makes the egg arg

also on a meta level it would make sense i think (since a lot of the actual arg puzzles involved trust and working together and trusting your teammates)

and on the topic of the egg arg meta, it fucking worked. the lifestealers did work together and put trust in each other even when threatened with death to solve the arg.

it did bring lifesteal together. even just for a little bit

and i am just. man thats fucking cool!!!!!!

not to mention just. the cool character study stuff you can do on c!mid. the thought of seeing yourself throughout all of this. realizing about how these things can effect you in different ways. witnessing your own death TWICE. and by the time to come up because of it, you're a changed person on a fundamental level. and in the end, looking at the thing that caused all of this, and throwing it out there in a last ditch effort to make things right again. in the worst scenario. even though you're bitter and angry now. you try anyways.

that concept is so. cool to me . i wish more people talked about it but yk. this is me throwing my hat into the ring

egg arg my beloved fr <3

#lifesteal smp #midmysticx #tw swearing #media.warning.swearing #tw caps #media.warning.caps #tw murder #media.warning.murder #<- just in case i guess . a lot of this happens in a video game #anyways. Yeah. egg arg.... #having Thoughts about it #anyways im probs gonna disappear for another week after posting this . very busy w life stuff #Hopefully this made sense . i did adapt this from dms i had w a friend #and they thought it made sense so. shrugs #hopefully i got my point across . egg arg very cool . and u should check it out #its awesome !!! i wish more people talk about it #alas im eppy </3 #feel free to send me asks abt this or something (alas i cannot say i can answer them in a. timely manner) #so ya ^_^ hope u enjoyed!!!

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i'm cry laughing some people on twitter are now saying "izzy bashing" needs to be tagged in fics. how did these people ever survive watching this show where izzy is the CANON ANTAGONIST i'll never know

benefit of the doubt but i think most of them have gotten to this point gradually. when they first watched the show they were not attached to izzy the way they are now. i know for a lot of people it was blorbo at first sight with izzy but i've also seen izzy enjoyers say they didn't like him at first, and then fandom made them care about him.

like i'm pretty sure for a lot of ppl it started off with isolating themselves from ppl who made posts that they didnt like, like ppl who criticized ofmd for being based on two real people with direct connections to actual real-world slave trade (which is an incredibly valid thing to criticize abt ofmd).

another one that i think funneled a lot of fans towards being so delusionally attached to izzy was people pointing out or complaining about the disproportionate amount of fan content for izzy compared to prominent characters of color—which is a consistent issue in fandom no matter what the media, and is also a very easy one for people to be uncomfortable with whenever they see it get pointed out. people venting that "fans care too much abt this white man" often make fans who care abt that white man very defensive right off the bat, and then rather than engage with why they feel defensive or question if maybe their enjoyment of this character is fueled by implicit bias (which it might not be, to be clear! im not saying—and i have never said—that everyone who enjoyes izzy likes him for racist reasons), they stop listening to the conversation abt white favoritism and continue blorboposting as much as they want. it's incredibly easy for fans to brush off this convo as "just starting drama" and avoid the topic altogether because "fandom is for fun!" and they dont want to think abt difficult topics like racism and implicit bias, they just want to enjoy their blorbos in peace.

so they kept narrowing the takes they were seeing until they were in an echo chamber that kept moving more and more towards complete woobification of izzy hands. these people are now looking at the show entirely through izzy's pov, making posts abt how sad it is that none of the other characters are ever nice to him, how frustrating the show is from his perspective, how it feels to be deeply in love with someone who doesn't love you back. they've stared at gifs of con's micro-expressions and read angsty fanfiction and looked at endless izzy fanart and their entire ofmd fandom experience revolves around empathizing with this one character even tho the show itself continually makes him the butt of the joke.

at this point, telling these people to rewatch the show doesn't even matter. they've spent so much time over-analyzing every single one of izzy's scenes to the point where the emotional responses they get from these scenes are not the emotional responses anyone would have watching the show for the first time. they've warped the entire first season to fit their version of the show and are forgetting how often the show itself bashes izzy.

and the icing on the cake is the trolling. there's like, one or two people on here who go around sending anon hate and leaving nasty comments on instagram posts and harassing people on twitter for... like, i would say "for liking izzy" or even "for saying positive things about izzy" but like. i've gotten these messages, and the most sympathetic i've ever been to izzy was the post i made like "maybe he's mean bc he has chronic IBS. i'd actually understand him more if that were the case." so when i get these messages it's easier for me to just laugh them off bc it's so obviously just someone trying to make me upset, but people who do care about izzy (a lot of them being the same people who avoided engaging with the "why does fandom care so much abt white characters" convo) get these absolutely horrible messages about how they deserve to get hate crimed and they should kill themselves. and these fans who didn't want to even see vaguely negative posts abt izzy bc they just want to enjoy fandom in peace are now like "im targeted for just liking a character!"

so that's how we get to people saying that "izzy bashing" needs to be tagged. never mind that their definition of "bashing" almost certainly includes things that are not bashing but are just things that contradict the way they headcannnon him.

#ask #anon #mine #txt #og #izzy critical #izzy hands #ofmd fandom crit #if this post is in the izcourse tag no it isnt u just dont know how to use tumblr #obligatory Not All Izzy Fans disclaimer #also btw in case anyone tries to come at me with “it's stupid to tell people to pay attention to different characters”: #noticing the disappointing trend of fandom to fixate on white side characters ≠ telling people to stop making izzy content #im not telling individual izzy hands enjoyers to stop paying attention to izzy. there are a lot of reasons why ppl might like izzy #if i interact w someone whose ofmd contribution is primarily pro-izzy my thought is “oh they like antagonists” #not “oh they don't care about characters of color bc they're racist” ok im not gonna jump there without a reason #but on a fandom-wide scale this is a Trend that has happened over and over again in fandom after fandom after fandom #like We Live In A Society bro we can't just pretend white men are always the faves in fandoms just by coincidence #but also tbh if you think im saying that You Personally need to make content for characters of color? and you're getting MAD at me for it?? #then ur probs not someone i want making content for those characters lmao. u keep izzyposting to ur heart's content <3 have fun bestie

[raksh-writes]

Gosh, Im turning 25 today not 65 so why does it feel like my body feel is gonna fall apart at any moment? 😩

#personal #vent #Im in So much pain today #got my period for my birthday of course #so there's cramps one hand #but the worse is the way my knees aching #it's like that bone-deep dull ache thats spread out into the calf and thighs kind #and its so intense at its worst it makes me want to sob and chew my own limbs off with my teets #god it sound dramatic but yestersay evening I did cry quite a lot from the pain #Ive had the joint pains for a long time but it was usualy one at a time and with weather changes #but like 1-2 years ago my knees synced up with periods and wheneve that happens it's-- #hellish #painkillers barely work and it builds up throughtout the day so it's prob not gonna be a nice evening today #distracting myself from it only works so far too #the moment the distraction ends Im crying 😣 #it goes from these 'can sort of manage' ache to 'full on out sob' in cicles that I can’t even feel coming #and I still have some time before I can take another dose of the strong meds that sort of helped today #(like 4 hours after I took them and only for a couple hours too) #I know I just gotta get through this but it Sucks #and I gotta do my taxes tomorrow at the latest fucking heeeeell I can’t focus for shit #hopefully it lessens enough I can do the needed adulting and then hide away until I feel human again 😣 #I might also be severaly overstimulated from work I think #ughhhh anyway I just needed to vent some #in hopes it maybe helps a little #might delete this post later #hope y'all are having a much better day!

[pa-pa-plasma]

I think I asked before, but I know fotpod is your crow/corvid Danny fic, but what’s the full name? Thanks. ❤️

honestly I'm so used to calling it FOtPoD I sometimes forget that's not an actual word & that. a lot of people probably have no idea what I'm talking about xD

it stands for Flying Over the Pit of Death & Danny's actually a black-billed magpie in it, though he does have crow friends (pics for birb reference)

one sec I wrote a whole thing on my DP side blog, daddyplasmius. okay it's here> [LINK] if you wanted to read my rambling about this project (& my FOtPoD memes)

#currently still writing this thing. started on Control Freaks. also brainstorming for Memory Blank & My Brother's Keeper #you'd think it'd be easy to make an AU as simple as ''no one knows bird au'' but it really isnt. Danny is bird. how he use thermos?? #don't ask me cuz i've been winging it the whole time lol #pun intended #idk when FOtPoD is getting finished but I'll probs start posting before that happens anyways just cause #my writing has been postponed though due to. uh. finding a kitten in the woods in September. & family issues as well #getting back on track but like. this fic is gonna be Large. multi multi multi chapter. 60 of em. this is gonna be Shadow of a Doubt big #I have lots of big scenes done i just need to connect them & also write the scenes i have planned but havent written #also writing a meme murder mystery fic i was paid the equivalent of 1 (one) cornchip for (as I requested) so am also working on that too #also (& this one is the most important) i need to play (& for once in my life finish) spore. right now.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose #very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body #so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with #energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we #can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like #losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my #ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things #less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out #but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional #range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes #so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like #oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to #understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have #to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make #me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain #fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like #lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes #me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs #will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u #plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im #trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying #to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me #more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something #how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at #first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into #academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u #gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer #then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement #well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw #unrelated

[vegaseatsass]

Theory of Love is definitely one of the hardest BLs to take seriously that I've watched so far (NOBODY SPOIL ME PLS I am up to ep6 and hoping we're gonna switch at some point from Gun POV to Off POV and turn the perspective on its wet-from-water-bottle-showering head, but I don't KNOW for SURE so don't tell meeee) but one thing I'm really vibing with is just how well it captures the sheer disastrousness of disastrous gay friendships!!!

I don't love watching a bunch of dudes be toxically masculine @ every girl that walks past them (though I understand that this performance is the sibling to the boy craziness I performed at all the girls I was in love with in grade school), but I just love the dynamic within the friends group of like WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHY ARE OUR FRIENDS SUDDENLY ALWAYS MAD AT EACH OTHER??? WHERE IS ALL THIS DRAMA COMING FROM?????

The drama is coming from Disastrous Queer Friendship. From two friends who cannot/will not communicate how they feel for each other or why "just" friendship is not working. There is no escaping it my guys all you can do is ride the ship through the storm at your bros' side

#and to be very fair to bone and two they ARE doing their level best to ride that ship through the storm so far!! #no idea what's happening one minute to the next who is in love with who who is mad at who whose side to take #but they are gonna stay in it with their bros!!! support whoever has a crush on whoever!! keep the Gang together through hell or high water #i'm watching this very quickly for me b/c i neeeed that pov switch lol i am going to be fr disappointed if we don't pov switch #BUT DON'T SPOIL ME!!!!!!!!!! #theory of love #dear diary #it's jsut interesting because if i watched this idk 10 years ago i'd be very annoyed w/ both third and khai for a lot of their behavior #third being sooooo bitter every time khai kisses a new girl khai treating third's housework and support the way a spoiled kid does his moms #but it's all just so real in a Disastrous Gay Friendship (tm) #it is so hard to unblur and untangle all the different blurred tangled lines and actually communicate past the giant feelings #when third was like 'i meant to be the third thats his friend but i once again ended up the third thats in love w him. i'm angry at myself' #SO REAL! #he knows he is being unfair but he cant HELP it he doesnt know how to navigate his way out of the role he's caged himself in #friendship isn't a cage but it's real easy to convince yourself it is when you see your queer feelings as a threat to that friendship #and it's real easy to see queer feelings as a threat to friendship if you live in a society!!!! #lol this is prob all self-evident but i am just truly enjoying the messiness #back at it again in the shower with my clothes on. bawling.

[quasieli]

Wow did not think about how hard it is for me to walk into my kitchen without Maddie here. Not just cause her food is still out (cause we do still have Myka), but cause she was a hungry baby who had never ever been fed so if she heard someone in the kitchen, she'd be at their side. I just wanna get some water, I don't need to be getting choked up now!

#Eli Speaks #Animal Death #im ok #this is prob gonna be happening a lot for a bit #getting used to her just not being around #she was here for more than half my life #it's gonna take a while to get used to #fuck every once in a while ill come home and expect to see my dog at the top of the stairs #and she died in 2015! #its weird man

[crowtechs]

hey. long time no see

i am unsure if ill be posting on here as im still on my mental health break. i think its genuinely at this blog in particular because now that i realise it. its been a lot nicer without constantly posting on here i guess lmao

regardless, still, not sure when i fully will be back and i might just take the rest of august off because its been nice. again, the only things ive been doing on here is liking things to hopefully reblog later on

otherwise, ive been a lot better, things spiral sometimes, but ive been progressively a lot better than i have in a long time. ive found things to occupy myself and its been a shit load of fun

im good dont worry ill be back hopefully at some point and maybe the next post will be a simple "hey im back for good" type of post :]

#kaden txts #its been a while since i last typed that tag goddamn #also funny story that happened #once i went onto tumblr it hit me in dark mode and it scared the shit out of me for a good while #was gonna switch it back to the old school tumblr or w/e the hell i was on but decided against it #it is a lot nicer on my eyes #but i think thats a funny story to tell yall during this hiatus #probs more funny stories and fun stories to tell #another time #esp the selfship stories dude there is so many in my huge ass mind of mine im impressed with myself on this one #ok im rambling later

[scarletiswailing347]

just finished reading delilah's statement, there was a lot of things in it that was either only tangentially related to the allegations or straight up unnecessary to put (in particular: putting in media references and cc metrics several times as flavor text, detailing the don turnt situation with no claims of whether or not permission was granted by the affected party, namedropping certain ccs who had nothing to do with the allegations, and putting the tweet and yearbook photo of one of the ppl who put forward that zam was a bully with no claims of whether or not permission was granted) which contributed a lot to the 47-page length

honestly so far what im getting is that there was a Lot of toxicity on multiple sides like not even just between zam and delilah

#tw abuse #there are multiple instances in particular that i wanted to get more context of #in particular how did zam go from telling delilah to khs to becoming her bestie??? and why did she call kab whos a 16 yo a worthless whore? #theres also several parts that made me think that her rep for jumping to conclusions isnt entirely unfounded #like you can excuse her mental state at the time for a lot of it but there are some that are just. where did you get that #i dont wanna reread the entire thing so ill just be citing that part at the end where she accused zam of not actually being in a bad mental #place and was just trying to manipulate her cause he was in vacation in nyc and was smiling in one of the pics is reaching #also hypocritical cause she was also in a bad mental place during twitchcon but was smiling happily in pics and videos #also dont like the fact that she put the yearbook photo there and the fact it was even posted publicly in the first place #it was probs for verification purposes but holy shit youre basically barely a step away from doxxing zam #apparently bormethius is putting out a statement so ill be waiting for that as well #fucken hell i get that delilah saw posting this publicly as necessary in order to get some kind of closure #but theres so many layers to this that airing this out to an uninvolved and contextless audience was only inevitably gonna make things wors #especially considering a lot of evidence has apparently been lost to deletion or the fact that they were done in vcs #but its too late for that now so i can only hope we get the full picture soon cause everybody involved looks so incredibly toxic #idk i just hope all parties involved will be able to move away from this and get better in the future #cause like theyre still young and immature man #(although the fact that theyre young and immature def contributed to how this even happened in the first place 💀) #with that being said #the drama channels are 100% in the wrong here #they like to present themselves as arbiters of truth but theyre nothing but glorified tabloids #allegations

[dangaer]

i know a lot of people get mad at it but tbh shin really looks out for the heroine in spade and diamond route.

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc. #I SAID. WHAT I SAID. #people absolutely despise him in ikk.i's route which is honestly fair if thats how you feel im never gonna be like HOW DARE YOU #but the reality is is that while shins words are very cruel in certain parts ( cannot deny that and he should apologise for them ) #at the same time. ik.ki was currently flirting with other women openly and not just “for work” and then he was also lumped in to having an #extra shift because a girl couldnt come into work as she was rejected by him. i would be mad too ... #but also like. at near the end of the route he makes a point to actively help them out which is his way of showing his support for them #like ... as a friend the way he looks out for the heroine is rlly remarkable. #its the same with diamond world bc for context. shin has done A LOT to help the heroine and her love for toma for this route #shins been papparazi #probs had to go round his face and find out random facts #he's always round toma's it just happens #but like. he actively gets involved when he starts to notice things aren't right and tom.a's getting restrictive #like he actively takes that role to help the heroine out. as a friend thats a really incredible thing to do #and SEE HAPPEN #it gives a good message despite the countless bad ones that surround it. #shin ONLY gets concerned when things dont feel right for him. and he backs off when hes proven wrong. hes genuinely got a soft heart ... #I PROMISE. #anyway. ull never guess whos character page ive done today--- FGSGFDGS i got lost in playthrough vids bc i forgot some of the events in #joker world so may have to revise that part #but we will see #i forgot how difficult bios are im ngl people who do them all in like a week are incredible mine are taking me literally 4+ hours and they #dont even look like 4 hours of work. gonna do my pages a lil diff tomorrow to see if that helps and then go from there somehow #TBD. #im emotional its 2:30am and im emotional about shin again 2022 is coming back to me