#that may be true but i fucking SWEAR megan hated me

[m--bloop]

also i have a conspiracy that the prof I worked for last year as a teaching assistant blacklisted me or something cause I haven’t been hired again the past 2 times I’ve applied

#I got good reviews by the students too! #she didn't like me i think :( #it was for the one comp sci class I did good in #i explained this to my sister a while ago and she was like its probably cause they're hiring graduate students first because it's an #easy class to ta and grad students need money cause they're so underpaid #that may be true but i fucking SWEAR megan hated me #c'mon megan #i did good i did good didn't i? #txt

[olivishii]

Astro observations, but mostly my opinions part 3

🌦air or earth in the big three, particularly rising sign, give someone very contrasting features. they also can come off quite intimidating. i’ve found that air/earth risings come off more mysterious than a scorpio rising.

🌦aries suns are much more introverted than their aries moon/rising counterparts.

🌦celebrities with air moons are always very well liked & popular.

🌦 mercury square mars people have a hard time conveying their thoughts and are often misunderstood. on the other hand, you may create a lot of enemies because of your agressive nature.

🌦if the sign in your 8th house is in someone else 3rd, it makes for amazing communication.

🌦ok this is just a birthday observation from looking up so many kinds of peoples charts, a loooooootttttttt of famous sagittarius/capricorn’s (particularly december capricorn’s but not limited to december capricorn’s) have pisces moons.

🌦contrary to popular belief, a lot of pisces tend to be combative. (and i’m not talking about the ones with aries placements.)

🌦if your third or ninth house is in either sagittarius or gemini. or your mercury is in the eight house or sagittarius or gemini, you might enjoy being on sites like reddit, twitter, or tumblr. since they all have to do with discussion, sometimes about taboo or theoretical things.

🌦scorpio & taurus are opposite signs, but i find them to be quite similar in more ways than they are different.

🌦taurus w/ an aquarius mars or moon or aquarius with a taurus moon or mars are hard to keep down, they will rebel and there is absolutely nothing you can say that will make them not.

🌦i think leo’s are amazing friends. a lot of people tend to hate on them, but they’re the mosy fun, loving, and loyal personalities. they’d do anything for you.

🌦pisces moons are aaaaalllllwaaaaayyyssss on edge. and have bad ass tempers.

🌦taurus & cancer moons are the most understanding people i’ve ever met. maybe even a little bit too understanding.

🌦men with sagittarius moons are always means & rude as fuck. like straight up fucking assholes. cold hearted assholes. but the women with sag moons are💕🥰🤍💋👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

🌦i fucking would die for libra and sagittarius women.

🌦taurus fem ppl have strong “it” girl energy. like hello miss janet jackson? megan fox? jessica alba? all taurus.

🌦i don’t think i’ll ever see the day me and a pisces placements genuinely get along on all levels. will always be a love hate thing going on.

🌦personally, i don’t “hate” any of the signs. some people do and that’s fine. but i think if you want to be in astrology or astrologer you can’t really hate any of the signs. you’re readings would be very biased.

🌦now on the other hand, there ARE certain placements i just truly do not click with.

🌦many people that hold a very strong and influential postion on the internet ALL have earth placements. i can make a whole ass series on that. (nicki minaj has a virgo moon, trisha paytas is a taurus, fred is a virgo, rolling ray is a virgo, tiffany pollard is a capricorn etc etc...)

🌦earth & air placements have the sexiest bone structure and eyes...my god.

🌦i don’t know if i’ve already said this, but scorpio’s are sooooo funny. i swear to god.

🌦it’s true, sagittarius suns, moons and risings have amazing bodies. they just have something very prominent on their bodies.

🌦the elements as popular musical genres....air is alternative FOR SURE. earth is r&b or soul. ok fire can either be rap or hard rock. and water is bubblegum pop or house music.

🌦speaking of music, the song “take me away” from freaky friday had to have been written by a sagittarius sun or mercury that’s all i can think of when i hear it lol.

🌦virgo people have a fierceness about them. they truly do, like beyoncé literally has an alter ego called sasha fierce. pink is such a punk ass bitch, micheal jackson, do i even need to elaborate?

🌦gemini woman, especially woman, may have had to feel like they needed to watch what they say because people take their forwardness for rudeness.

🌦i would want a sagittarius boss. please.

🌦i like to believe that stereotypes do not strongly apply to certain placements, but damn capricorn’s really can be buzz kills. with their just all around attitudes or something they say.

#astrology #astro observations #opinions #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #sun sign #my opinion #not true #for everyone #fun #for fun #earth signs #fire signs #water signs #air signs

[hangovercurse]

Blind Date

After being single for three months, your friends decide to set you and Colson up on a blind date.

Request: Hey!! Could you do one about the reader and Colson meeting by a blind date? Let your creativity go wild ❤️

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: This is a little bit different from how I normally write, so let’s see how this goes.

Word Count: 1916

It’s funny how the universe makes things happen. While some people are having their first kiss, others are taking their last breath. Every moment in time is so intricately woven together, it sometimes seems ironic how things happen.

Like tonight, on two sides of California, two very different people were having the same conversation.

“I’m not sure about this.”

“What if she thinks my tattoos are too much?”

“What if he thinks I’m too weird?”

“What if she hates music?”

“What if he hates art?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Your best friend stared at you from your bed as you paced around the room. “Y/N, you’re going to be fine. You said it yourself, you need to get back out there. Baze says he’s a good guy, and I trust Baze.”

Baze was in a similar situation, laying on the couch as Colson paced around the house. “Colson, dude. It’s gonna be good, she’s gonna like you.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s not like I’ve never been on a first fuckin date before. I used to do this shit every night.” He sighed, sitting down.

You let out a frustrated groan, “I know. I just feel like after everything in the past few years I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do first dates.”

“You’re gonna be great, just be yourself. And remember, it’s a blind date, so if you guys don’t hit it off or something goes horribly wrong, you never have to see him again.” She smiled as you threw her a playful glare.

“Colson, I love you man, but you have to do this. I don’t think you’ve even looked at a woman who isn’t Ashleigh in like three months.”

The light-haired man sent his friend a glare, “I’m sorry that I was recovering from the worst heartbreak of my life.”

You finally sat down, pulling on your shoes. “Maybe it’s too soon. Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was.”

Your friend sighed, sitting up and placing her arms around your shoulders, “It’s been three months since you and T broke up. You grieved, and now you need to move on. You deserve this.”

“Dude, you said you were over her. You are over her. Now you get to find someone else and try to be happy. You deserve this.”

“Maybe don’t bring up your disastrous ex, Y/N.”

“But please, for the love of god, bro, don’t bring up Megan.”

 You entered the small, classy restaurant, your hands shaking slightly. The entire place was dimly lit, with candles scattered around any surface available. You walked to the hostess stand, “Baker for two.” You told her, a small smile gracing your features.

She nodded, leading you through the floor. “He got here not 30 seconds before you did.” She laughed and you blushed a little bit.

You were grateful he wasn’t late, but you were also grateful he wasn’t extremely early , or else you would have felt awful for making him wait.

You were finally brought to a small table in the back of the restaurant to find one of the prettiest men you have ever laid your eyes on. When his eyes met yours, he stood up immediately, a smile on his face. “Y/N?” He asked.

“Colson.” You responded. He pulled your chair out for you, and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks at the kind gesture. None of the guys you had ever dated pulled your chair out for you, especially not your most recent ex.

“Baze told me you were pretty but this is…” He trailed off, seeming a bit lost for words. “You are absolutely gorgeous.”

He was good at this, good at making you nervous, making you blush like a teenager. “Thank you.” You whispered, “I think you are one of the prettiest people I have ever met.” You returned his compliment with one of your own.

The redness in his cheeks made you smile, a bit of pride rising in your chest. “Baze truthfully didn’t tell me much about you.” He started, “so, what do you do?” He was kicking himself for the lame question, but his mind was half occupied with the color of your eyes and he couldn’t form a coherent thought.

“I’m an artist.” You probably didn’t realize it, but Colson could see the slightest bit of a light in your eyes as you spoke about your passion. “I do graphic designing for websites, making logos and designs and such. That’s my day job, at least. I do some painting and sketching on the side, though. Eventually I’d like to be able to make that my whole job, but it is a hard industry.”

Colson nodded in understanding, his eyes holding the same weight as yours when you spoke of your flailing dreams. You wondered how he knew exactly what you were talking about.

Seemingly reading your mind, he answered. “I get that so much. I’m a musician, so I’ve been there. Luckily, I did make it my full-time job, but I remember before I made it, all the stress and struggles. It gets better.”

You smiled, “easy for you to say, aren’t you like, a big Rockstar?”

He chuckled, looking down, “yeah, sort of. But I wasn’t, you know? Like before all this I was dirt poor and the picture of a starving artist. I mean I’m still not like, winning Grammys or shit now, but I’m not there anymore either.”

You nodded, studying him. “I was lucky, I had support through art school and got a job as soon as I graduated. I’ve never had to struggle in that sense. I don’t think I’d be happy staying where I’m at for the rest of my life, but I am definitely in a stable place right now.”

He seemed so interested in what you were saying. Soon the conversation moved into the type of music he made, and then to your art styles. You flowed together easily, never becoming awkward or uncomfortable. As the night went on, your nerves fell away, as did his.

You were talking about your favorite movies when your food arrived, but even then, your conversation continued. At one point, he paused mid-second. “You’ve got something, “ he pointed to his face. “Fuck it, this is gonna be so cheesy.” He grabbed his napkin and wiped the bit of sauce you had on your cheek off.

You blushed in embarrassment, “thanks.” He was right, the moment was very cheesy. His hand pulled away slowly, lingering near your skin a bit longer than necessary. You didn’t mind though.

As much as you hated to admit it, especially since you had only known him for one night, you could be really into him. And that scared the fuck out of you.

Colson was, too, scared shitless. Why the fuck was his heart fluttering every time you giggled. He’d just met you. But already he could tell you were something special.

 He paid for dinner, like a gentleman, even though you protested. “It’s our first date, I am paying.”

You liked the way that he said, “first date,” implying there may be more. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to pay next time.” You said, smugly.

His eyebrow raised in question, a small smirk on his face. “We’ll see about that. I might just give them my card ahead of time.”

“Then I’ll just have to get there before you.”

You two laughed at your small competition as he led you to the parking lot, his hand in yours. “Did you drive?” He asked and you shook your head no.

“I called an uber. Speaking of…” You reached for your phone before he stopped you.

“Let me drive you home. If that’s okay?”

You let him lead you to his car, hand still tightly in his. He pulled the door open for you, guiding you in. Everything with him seemed like a new experience, his gentleman gestures catching you off guard.

“You should play me some of your music.” You told him when he got in. He smiled at that, pulling his phone out and opening his library.

“I don’t know if you’ll like the type of music I make.” He blushed, scrolling through to find a song he thought you might like.

You rolled your eyes, “well I like you so I think, by proxy, I’ll like your music.”

He bit his lip to hide the way his face lit up at your subtle confession. “Just don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

You heard a somewhat familiar rhythm, something you had probably heard on the radio. “Wait, this is you? I swear I’ve heard this before.”

He smiled, glancing over at you before turning his attention back to the road. “Yeah, me and my friend Matt dropped this right before my last album release.”

You let the music play, listening to his voice as he sang. “You know, this somehow sounds exactly like you and nothing like you at the same time. Like if you hadn’t told me I don’t think I would’ve known this was you. But I do know so I can hear it.”

He chuckled but didn’t say anything, occasionally looking at you as you nodded your head to the music. A few more of his songs played from Tickets to My Downfall and you seemed to enjoy it. “You’re really good.” You commented. Your voice was truthful, you weren’t trying to flatter him, you were just saying what you thought. Your words were genuine.

He didn’t know why but hearing that from you meant so much more to him than he expected it to. He finally parked in front of your house, getting out and opening your door for you. Like a true gentleman, he walked you to your door, pausing before you unlocked it.

You turned to face him, looking up into his bright eyes. “I had a really good time tonight.” He said softly. “Probably the best night I’ve had in a while, honestly.”

You smiled widely, “I did too, Colson.” You grabbed his hands in yours, swinging them slightly. “I’m really glad we did this.”

He nodded, leaning closer to you, “would you, maybe, wanna do this again?” He asked, his voice falling closer to a whisper.

“I was hoping I had made that obvious when I said I’d pay next time.” You giggled, leaning up closer to him.

He rolled his eyes playfully, “just wanna make sure you didn’t change your mind.”

“Trust me, I didn’t.” You whispered, before leaning up and connecting your lips with his.

The kiss was short and sweet, but it seemed like everything you had ever wanted. When your lips left his, you both stayed very close to each other, hands still clasped. His face was still only inches from yours, eyes studying your every feature.

Eventually he let out a small sigh and leaned back up. “Well, uh, goodnight, Y/N.” He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck as he took steps backwards towards his car. You smiled at him, waving a small goodbye before turning to unlock your door.

Your hand touched the handle before you turned around, finding Colson in the same situation at his car door, still looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna… come in?” You asked, biting your lip. His face lit up, a smirk highlighting his features.

“I would love that.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #colson imagine

[uswntpoet]

Love on the brain (Part 16)

Hey guys, I hope you're doing fine. I'm sorry this took so long again. The next update will be faster, I promise :) have fun!

The chapter is also up on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576201/chapters/45625690

Later that day when the sun already set most of the veterans agreed to meet on the patio after they took a shower. Luckily, they almost got the entire hotel to themselves and when Kelley is the first one to get to the patio, it’s completely empty. She lies down on one of the sun loungers and pulls out her phone, checking her texts. Kelley choose a corner with some sofas and some loungers where a small fire pit table is creating a tranquil atmosphere.

“Excuse me Ms.? Can I get you anything?”

The waiter pulls Kelley out of her thoughts and she quickly looks up from her phone.

“Eh-“

“You can bring her a huge glass of whiskey. She is going to sleep in the lobby tonight.” Megan calls as she, Ashlyn, Julie, Becky and Crystal approach the table.

“She is kidding.” Kelley quickly clarifies, looking at the waiter with an apologetic look. The waiter smiles back at her, nodding his head.

“Could you bring me an oat milk latte and an espresso?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

After the waiter took the other orders as well, the group settles around the table.

“You’re a dick Pinoe.” Kelley grins at Megan.

“I do what I can.” Megan winks. Meanwhile, Allie, Christen and Alex also join them.

“Where is Tobin?” Julie asks Christen when they sit down.

“Fell asleep in the armchair while I showered. She’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Typical Tobey.” Kelley laughs, pulling a standing Alex down into her lap.

“It’s always the same with her.” Christen rolls her eyes, laughing as well.

“Alright, the Espresso was for you, right?” the waiter checks, looking at Kelley.

“Yeah, thanks.” Kelley nods, as he sets the tiny cup down on the table.

“The Cappuccino?” the waiter asks, holding up the cup.

“Yes, thank you.” Becky answers, taking the cup out of his hands. The waiter hands out the rest of the beverages until there is only one left.  

“Uhm, an oat milk latte?”

Alex looks around, wondering who has the same coffee order as her when Kelley’s hand flies up, pointing to her.

“For her. Sorry, I already ordered for you. Do you want something else?”

“No, I would have ordered that anyway. Thanks babe.” Alex says, leaning in and giving Kelley a quick peck. When she pulls back, she winks at Kelley, who smiles at her with a megawatt smile in response.

“Perfect.”

“You guys are so disgusting.” Megan deadpans.

“Exactly my words.” Allie exclaims.

“Then better close your eyes.” Alex says, before kissing Kelley one more time.

“Touché.” Ashlyn laughs. Kelley grabs her espresso, slides back on the sun lounger and pulls Alex with her, so that she is sitting between her legs. Alex leans back into Kelley, resting her head against her chest, cuddling into her with her coffee in hand. Her free hand rests on Kelley’s bend knee, stroking it tenderly. Kelley’s free hand stays around Alex’s waist, resting on her stomach, while her chin rests on top of Alex’s head.

“Okay Kel, now that the kids are gone, what the fuck did you do to a grown man?”

Alex snorts, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, I see, all of the sudden you find that funny, but a few weeks ago I was treated like a war criminal.” Kelley says, leaning forward to look at Alex from the side.

“That’s not true, babe.”

“Anyway, let’s just say I had a strong disagreement with someone.”

“Yeah right, a DiSaGrEeMeNt.” Allie mocks, letting out a laugh.

“What did you do, Kel?” Crystal cracks up.

“Well…I was drunk and somebody came on to Alex and I-“ Kelley starts hesitantly.

“Oh no.” Julie scrunches up her face, to which Alex just nods with a pained expression.

“What?” Megan asks.

“Do you guys remember when that journalist once tried flirting with Alex and Kelley almost ripped out his vocal cords?” Julie laughs and everybody nods, laughing as well.

“Oh right.” Megan exclaims.

“Or, oh my god, when Alex got the black eye in the game against France and Kelley nearly killed one of the players with her tackle, because they wouldn’t play the ball out of bounds?” Becky goes on.

“Daaaamn right, or that other time when-“

“Alright we get it.” Kelley interrupts annoyed.

“So, what did you do?” Christen asks.

“Ehh I…let’s just say I…I may or may not have-“

“She broke his nose.” Alex lets out dryly.

“What???” Megan, Crystal, Ashlyn, Becky, Christen and Julie all exclaim at the same time.

“Thanks.” Kelley says to Alex just as dryly.

“Guys, she didn’t just break his nose! She nearly killed him after almost getting killed herself and that was the second time that evening.”

“Kel!” everyone exclaims again.

“Pfff. As if I’d let anybody touch my fiancée.” Kelley grumbles.  

“Come on Kel, are you serious? That was really irresponsible.” Becky says.

“THANK YOU, BECKY! Finally someone who agrees with me.” Alex exclaims frustratedly.

“Yeah, no that’s really dangerous Kel.” Julie agrees and Christen nods her head.

“He called her a slut.” Kelley says aggravatedly, the memories making her angry again.

“Oh-oh.” Ashlyn says.

“That guy was in for a treat.” Megan laughs.  

“Such a short temper.” Ashlyn chuckles.

“When it comes to people coming on to Alex yes.” Kelley says matter of factly, which earns her a head shake from Alex.

“Did I miss anything?” Tobin asks when she stops in front of the group, remaining standing and leaning against a table.

“Kel broke some guy’s nose because he called Alex a slut.” Christen informs her with a pained expression.

“Duuuuude, savage.” Tobin chuckles, walking over to Kelley giving her a fist bump.

“Awesome.” Alex huffs.

“What’s the matter with you?” Tobin laughs.

“Don’t encourage her. That was reckless.” Alex frowns.

“Alex, I would have done the same if somebody said that to Christen. It’s pretty badass of her to try to win a fist fight with a dude just for you.” Tobin shrugs.

“You hear that? BADASS.” Kelley wiggles her eyebrows, which makes Alex scoff.

“Dude, did you at least look like you put up a fight or did you look like a pus-” Tobin asks.

“Tobin!” Christen interrupts her and throws her a warning look.

“Dude, I swear it was bad. I looked like I got hit by a car.” Kelley laughs and Alex shifts tensely between Kelley’s legs, clearing her throat and picking up a single strand of her hair that has landed on Kelley’s pants.

“Al, how did YOU think she looked?” Allie teases with an evil grin and Alex looks at her annoyed, blushing hardly.

“Oh come on Allie, shut up.” Kelley defends.

“Worms, I’m doing you a favor here.” Allie says, holding up her pointer finger, shortly looking at Kelley before switching her gaze to Alex again, waiting for an answer. Everybody’s attention is drawn towards Alex and she looks away quickly, muttering something under her breath.

“Huh? What did you say? Sorry, Alexandra I can’t understand you.” Allie provokes, seeking revenge for the morning after Kelley’s fist fight when she got woken up unpleasantly to say the least.

“Pretty sexy. She did look pretty damn hot, okay! Is that what you want me to say?” Alex snaps, while Allie starts bursting into loud laughter, the interaction causing the rest of the group to laugh as well. Alex rolls her eyes and lets out a heavy breath.

“I sometimes hate you.”

“You see I am confused. Do you want me to rip people apart for you or not?” Kelley teases, leaning forward to gauge Alex’s reaction. When Kelley’s head pops up in Alex’s sightline, she pushes Kelley back into the backrest by pushing her flat hand against her forehead.

“Watch your mouth, O’Hara.” Alex huffs. Kelley leans forward again, resting her face in Alex’s neck to kiss it softly while enclosing her in a tight embrace around her hips.

“Aw babe, I’m just kidding.” Kelley mutters into her neck. She leans back in the chair, pulling Alex with her and starts kissing Alex’s ticklish spot repeatedly which puts a smile back onto her face. Alex cuddles back into Kelley, laying her head on her chest again after giving her a quick kiss.

“You guys are so mean. Why me?” Alex pouts.

“We bully Tobin and the kids every day, what if it ever gets boring? We need options.” Allie says dramatically.

“You guys suck.” Tobin says, who is still standing with her hands stuffed in her pockets. When she finally sits down next to Christen, she puts her arm around her shoulder and smiles at her brightly.

“How is the most beautiful person doing?” she grins and Christen smiles at her, meaning to respond, but she is interrupted.

“Alex is doing great, thanks for asking.”

“Fuck you, Kel.” Tobin says annoyed.

Kelley snorts, while everyone is laughing loudly. Only Alex is turning around looking at Kelley sternly, her jaw agape. Unfortunately, Kelley doesn’t notice the look Alex is throwing her.  

“Allie, I can reassure you this is definitely never going to be boring.” Kelley grins and Allie laughs while stretching her arm to high five Kelley.

“Good one, O’Hara.” Pinoe laughs.

“Would you stop acting like a dick?” Alex scolds, hitting Kelley’s shoulder lightly. Alex’s tone catches Kelley’s attention immediately and she looks at her wide eyed, holding up her hands innocently.

“Don’t give me that look. Apologize.” Alex warns.

“Alex it’s okay, it was funny.” Christen giggles.

“No, it wasn’t.” Tobin whines.

Alex looks at Kelley with a steely gaze and Kelley musters her expression closely, contemplating her next move. They look at each other for a few more seconds before Kelley breaks the stare-off to look at Tobin.

“I’m sorry Tobs, that was unnecessary and douchy.” Kelley apologizes.

“It’s okay.” Tobin chuckles.  

“Wow guys, we are all witnesses of the power struggle™.” Allie gasps jokingly.

“We don’t have a power struggle.” Alex and Kelley exclaim at the same time.

“Okay, who is the big spoon and would assemble Ikea furniture?”

“Kelley.” the group answers monotone and in unison.

“But who has the power to change their partners mind about everything and is bossing the other one around while she is assembling the furniture?”

“Alex.” The group answers the same way.

“Power struggle.” Allie whisper yells.

“But-“ Alex tries to defend.

“However, it works, because admit it Alex: Kelley is whipped as fuck and-“

“She is not.” Alex argues.

“I am.” Kelley mumbles, which leaves Alex speechless.

“-and you’re bossy.”

Alex turns around, throwing Kelley a helpless look that tells her Alex is starting to get insecure.

“Bossy as hell.” Allie underlines.

“Hey! I like her bossy.” Kelley defends, kissing Alex’s temple.

“Is there anything you don’t like about her?” Allie deadpans. Kelley looks deeply into Alex’s eyes.

“Nope.” Kelley answers casually, not averting her eyes from Alex. She is glad to see that the answer seems to take away the poignant insecurity that Alex’s eyes displayed just seconds ago. Instead Alex smiles at her brightly now.

“Exactly.” Allie rolls her eyes.

“Thanks professor, are you finished with analyzing my relationship?” Kelley asks sharply, her temper starting to show slightly.  

“I could go on for hours. Who is next?” Allie jokes, not taking note of the change in Kelley’s attitude.

“You’re unbelievable.” Alex laughs, trying to lighten up the mood before Kelley will go for Allie’s throat. However, Kelley isn’t quite finished yet.

“Allie if you’d spend half as much of the time you spend on thinking about our relationship and invest it in analyzing Canada for gameday, you maybe could figure out how get us a win. Or better, if you’d stop analyzing at all, you maybe would sleep at night and perform better.” Kelley teases and loud laughter as well as roaring goes through the group while Allie tries to pick up her jaw from the ground.

“UUUUUHH!” Tobin exclaims.

“Ow, that must hurt Allie.” Becky comments.

“GAMEOVER.” Crystal laughs.

“Shazam!” Pinoe yells.

“Fair enough Wormy, I deserved that.” Allie admits with a chuckle. Alex cuddles back into Kelley and takes her hand into her own, squeezing it twice. She then cranes her neck to look up at her and Kelley winks at her serenely, apparently having cooled down. After that all the teasing quiets down and they spend a calm evening together, knowing that the friendly against Canada is coming up in a few days. Little by little, they start making their way back to their hotel rooms, until only Allie, Crystal, Alex, Julie and Kelley remain. When they exit the elevator, Alex interrupts Allie and Kelley’s conversation.

“Hey babe, I’m quickly going to pick up a body lotion at Crystal and JJ’s, okay?”

“Sure, we’ll wait here. “

“Give me 2 minutes.” Alex says, as she follows Julie and Crystal to their room, which is in another hallway on the same floor.

“So…exhibit A, huh?” Allie smirks.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb now, you know exactly what I mean.”

“It’s like you said yourself, you better don’t mess with her if I’m around.”

“Even if it means embarrassing her best friend in front of a huge group of friends?” Allie pouts.

“Especially, if it means that.”

“That’s evil.”

“No Allie, to be quite honest, you making her insecure was evil.” Kelley counters pissed off.

“Woah, hey. That wasn’t my intention.” Allie answers baffled.

“Sorry, that was harsh. Man, I just-“ Kelley groans, stopping midsentence to get her thoughts straight.

“-I just didn’t like the look she gave me. It bothered her and she was too polite to say so in front of everyone.” Kelley says calmly.

“Kel, If I had seen that, I would have stopped. I was just joking, you know that.” Allie says, clearly worried and rueful.

“Yeah, I know we were joking around and who am I to complain, right? I’m always teasing and joking around and we both know normally Alex is totally fine with it either, but apparently it was too much, or you struck a chord. I really didn’t mean to interfere, but you left me no choice.”

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Allie apologizes.

“I know, but you definitely deserved that.”

“What kind of best friend am I?” Allie groans and Kelley puts her hand on her shoulder.

“The best a best friend can be. Come on, don’t worry, knowing Alex she’ll talk to either you or me in the next 24 hours and everything will be just fine. I’m really sorry I lashed out at you.”

“You know Wormy, don’t be sorry. You always defend her and I think that’s a good thing, she’s lucky.”

“No…I am.” Kelley smiles at Alex who is walking down the hallway with the body lotion and two candy bars in hand.

“Look, Crys and JJ also had candy they didn’t want and knowing you guys this is going to be annihilated in the next 30 seconds.” Alex smiles brightly from afar.

“You’re right, you definitely are lucky. I mean look at you, she’s the best thing that could have ever happened to you.” Allie says to Kelley, referring to what they were talking about before while smiling at an approaching Alex.

“There she is. I thought you hit your head for a second, Allie.” Kelley responds through gritted teeth, also still smiling at Alex.

“Here.” Alex says, stopping in front of them and handing them the bars.

“You’re the best.” Kelley and Allie say at the same time before frowning at each other.

“And you’re weird. What were you guys talking about?” Alex asks suspiciously.

“You.” Kelley cheeses at her. Alex chuckles in response as if Kelley was joking, which makes Kelley and Allie let out a sigh of relieve.

“Of course. Hopefully only good things.” she responds, linking arms with Kelley as they start walking down the hallway.

“Only the best.” Kelley mumbles with her mouth full, while Allie is devouring the bar silently.

“See you tomorrow guys.” Allie waves.

“Night, Al.” Alex waves back.

“Try sleeping for once.” Kelley smirks.

“Don’t push it, Wormy.”

“Love you, Allie.” Kelley says ironically, while winking at her and Allie disappears in her room with a dramatic eyeroll. When Kelley turns around, Alex eyes her warily. Kelley quickly starts walking down the hallway towards their room.

“Hey. Stop!” Alex calls after her.

“Kel.”

Alex catches up with her while Kelley unlocks the door and Alex puts her body between her and the door, stopping her from entering. It always amazed Alex how well she can read Kelley’s eyes. For Alex it is like reading a manual that contains every detail you need to know and if you look really closely it will tell you even more than just the necessities. However, the answer her favorite pair of eyes tell her in this moment also makes Alex realize that Kelley can read hers as well and if she didn’t already know before, now would be the time she would have found out.

“You gave her a piece of mind, didn’t you?” Alex asks softly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kelley says calmly, pushing past Alex to enter the room. Kelley walks towards her nightstand, starting to take off her jewelry, standing with her back to Alex.

“You were worried, so you tried to wreck her confidence in front of everyone and then you talked to her in the hallway.” Alex assumes correctly, walking up behind Kelley, who is taking off her watch. Alex hugs her from behind and presses her forehead between Kelley’s shoulder blades.

“Kelley.” Alex sighs out softly.

Kelley stops with the watch in hand, observing it, letting out a deep breath.

“It bothered you.” Kelley says quietly.

“You know, I’m a big girl. I’ll talk to her.” Alex whispers against Kelley’s back, pressing a kiss to it. Kelley turns around at that, looking at Alex.

“Why didn’t you tell her right away?”

“I didn’t want to cause a scene. It was a nice evening.” Alex smiles softly. Kelley only smiles back at her for a split second before she starts to frown.

“What is it?”

“It wasn’t her intention, she told me she didn’t know it bothered you.” Kelley says hastily. Alex heart melts at the cute look on her face. Kelley’s forehead is furrowed and her eyes express worry as she gauges Alex’s reaction. She clearly doesn’t want Alex to be upset about the situation as well as with Allie.

“Yeah Kel, I know.” Alex smiles, lifting her hand to stroke Kelley’s cheek, not able to resist the urge to do so.

“Maybe you should talk to her.” Kelley offers carefully.

“I will.”

“Eh, okay? That was easier than I thought.” Kelley breathes out confused. Alex leans in to kiss Kelley softly.

“As cute as you are when you worry about me, you still worry way too much.”

“I don’t want anyone to make you feel insecure.”

“And I love you for that, but poor Allie probably has a hard time sleeping tonight.”

“Pfff, that was self-inflicted.” Kelley rolls her eyes.

“Probably, but there is no need to go overboard, okay tiger?”

“Got it.”

“Good.” Alex smiles, pecking Kelley’s lips before walking into the bathroom to get ready for bed. After a few minutes Kelley joins her just as Alex starts brushing her teeth, standing at the sink. Kelley reaches for her toothbrush and the toothpaste as well, sitting down on the rim of the bathtub behind Alex. Their gazes meet through the huge bathroom mirror and Kelley winks at Alex cutely, making her smile before Alex redirects her attention to her teeth. For a few seconds the only sound that can be heard is the noise of the toothbrushes, however Kelley being Kelley has something else in mind. Kelley observes Alex’s face closely and when she sees that she is totally preoccupied with brushing her teeth she reaches for Alex’s butt to give it a pinch. Alex shrieks loudly, jumping in surprise and turning around quickly to look at Kelley wide-eyed.

“Mhhh!” Alex warns, slapping Kelley’s hand away, not being able to speak due to the toothbrush in her mouth. Kelley just raises her eyebrows innocently and chuckles when Alex throws her a deadpan look. Kelley resumes brushing her teeth as if nothing happened, grinning at Alex which earns her a headshake. They start pulling faces at each other through the mirror but stop when they laugh too much to continue, both proceeding to focus on the task at hand. A few seconds later Alex looks at Kelley through the bathroom mirror again, catching Kelley shamelessly checking her out.

“Oh my god! Stahp lookin at my butt, perv.” Alex gasps with the toothbrush still in her mouth. Kelley starts bursting into laughter, almost spitting a bit of the foaming toothpaste out. Alex turns around, trying to look at Kelley warningly, but having to laugh as well. Kelley pulls Alex closer by the back of her thighs, resting her hands just under Alex’s butt, looking up at her with a dopey smile.

“You look hot.”

“Straight to the point, babe.”

“No need to beat around the bush, I’m talkin phacts.”

“Kel, you need to chill.”

“What I need is sex.”

Alex pulls the toothbrush out of her mouth, chuckling, “You’re so romantic.”

“Pfuck camp, I feel like a teenager in my parents’ house again and-“ Kelley starts but is interrupted by Alex leaning down to give her a kiss on the cheek, spreading toothpaste all over her cheek. Alex starts giggling, struggling to keep the foam in her mouth, while Kelley just looks at her unbothered.  

“You know what’s quite alarming?”

Alex shakes her head, still giggling.

“That actually that wasn’t bad at all.” Kelley mumbles.

“Why?”

“Because basically I’m pretty confident that at least 50% of my body consist of your spit.”

“Sounds plausible.” Alex chuckles.

“No seriously, I think we’ve come to a point where you could spit in my food and I still wouldn’t mind it if the food was good in the first place.”

“Phat’s disgusting!” Alex grimaces.

“Of course, but is it though?” Kelley raises an eyebrow, causing Alex to think about it.

“I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but you’re right, I wouldn’t mind either.”

“That’s alarming, isn’t it? I think that’s quite alarming.”

“God, we are disgusting.”

“Totally, but I kiss you anyway, so why would that change anything? Plus, I feel like on a regular my tongue is between your legs far more often than it’s not.” Kelley reasons drily, causing Alex to choke on the toothpaste, rushing to the sink to spit it out.

“Kelley!” Alex exclaims when she has come down from a light coughing fit.

“What? It’s true.” Kelley chuckles.

“It’s not!”

Kelley gives Alex an unconvinced look, “It kinda is.”

“Shut up and brush your teeth.” Alex says, looking as if she has been caught. She turns around on her heel, meaning to leave the bathroom.

“Hey babe?”

“Mhm?”

“Please don’t spit in my food anyway.” Kelley laughs, making Alex shake her head with a smile. Alex sits down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. She checks her phone and starts retweeting some things on Twitter. After a few minutes Kelley enters the room. First Alex is too engrossed in her phone, but she quickly starts to wonder why Kelley’s silhouette isn’t moving anymore and when she looks up Kelley is standing at the edge of the bed. She is looking at Alex with a sly grin.

“Am I allowed in bed tonight or do I have to test the couches in the lobby?”

“You’re always allowed if it involves a bed.” Alex smirks, winking at Kelley.

“Oh boy, I’m so lucky.” Kelley grins, letting herself fall into the bed and laying down on her back. She looks up at the ceiling and exhales deeply. Alex, who has been watching her the whole time, climbs on top of her. She straddles Kelley’s hips and holds herself up with her hands placed on either side of Kelley’s head. She leans down to connect their lips for a long and loving kiss which takes Kelley by surprise. During the long-lasting kiss Kelley’s hands move to Alex’s face, holding it gently. When Alex pulls away and sits up slightly, Kelley just lays there with her eyes still closed, Alex’s face still in her hands.

“What was that for?” Kelley whispers with a soft smile on her face.

“It was cute how you didn’t want me to hit the ground when you tackled me earlier.”

Kelley opens her eyes only to be met with Alex’s strikingly beautiful eyes.

“You didn’t think I was going to let you hit the ground, did you?”

“You would let anybody hit the ground.”

“Yeah, but not you.” Kelley cheeses.

“I have marks to proof you wrong.”

“Hey, that was before you became my girlfriend though.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know the trick was to date that crazy brunette rowdy who tackles you every chance she gets.” Alex says sarcastically.

“Beginner’s mistake.” Kelley says with a lopsided smirk.

“Ugh, stop with that smirk.” Alex groans, hitting Kelley in the chest lightly.

“I’m not doing anything.” Kelley chuckles, still wearing the smirk.

“Stop it.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t bear it.”

Kelley grabs Alex’s chin, pulling her down for a swift kiss.

“At least we’re even then, because I can’t bear you in these shorts either.” Kelley murmurs against Alex’s lips. Alex pulls away an inch so their gazes can meet.

“Sooo…power struggle, huh?” Alex asks, staring deep into Kelley’s eyes with a familiar fire.

“Apparently.” Kelley answers. Her voice sounds relaxed and cool, but her eyes are far from it as they switch between Alex’s eyes and her lips.

“There is one thing they don’t know though.”

“And what is that?”

The tension between them could be cut with a knife and their stare-off resembles the one they had on the patio earlier, however this time the mood has switched.

“There is one occasion where I frequently let you do whatever you want to me.” Alex whispers sultrily.

Kelley holds Alex’s gaze, staying still like a tiger who is waiting for their prey to move just the slightest bit. However, the patience is over when Alex bites her lip.

Like every morning at camp Alex sets down her plate and her smoothie on their designated breakfast table opposite of Allie who is already eating.

“Good morning.” Alex says enthusiastically, wearing a bright smile.

“…Good morning.” Allie answers confused, almost sounding like she is asking.

“You’re late today.” Allie observes slowly. Normally Allie is always the one to arrive after the couple.

“Morning Worms.” Kelley smiles when she also arrives at the table, sitting down next to Allie. Allie turns to look at Kelley, eyeing her up and down, frowning at her when she just smiles at her and takes a sip of her coffee.

“Didn’t hear the alarm.” Alex waves off, taking a bite of her croissant.

“Ah.” Allie says, looking at her plate, picking up a piece of melon. Suddenly, she lifts her head to look at Alex again, laying the piece of melon back down on the plate. Allie eyes Alex closely, who is still wearing a bright smile.

“Babe, could you pass me the salt?” Kelley asks and Alex hands it to her happily. Allie observes the interaction quietly.

“Why are you glowing like that? You look like you got laid.” Allie jokes, looking at Alex while laughing loudly and picking up the piece of melon to put it in her mouth. However, suddenly her laughter quiets down and realization dawns on her.

“Oh my god!” Allie chokes and Kelley starts patting her back while Alex blushes.

“Of course, you totally got banged.” Allie gasps at Alex when she is able to talk again.

“Would you shout your big ass mouth!” Alex says through gritted teeth. Allie turns to look at Kelley again.

“I did get you laid? In camp??? Wow, dude you really have to thank me.”

“God Al, would you stop?!” Alex buries her face in her hands.

“Sorry.” Allie chuckles.

“See, that’s why we don’t do this.” Alex mumbles to Kelley, still hiding behind her hands.

“Chill, nobody heard, at least not from me. However, I’m not rooming next to you.” Allie grins.

“I forgot a fork.” Alex says, quickly standing up and walking over to the buffet.

Kelley and Allie’s gazes meet. Kelley grins at her brightly, pumping her fist, making Allie wiggle her eyebrows.

“Thank you SO much!!” Kelley mouths exaggeratedly, while closing her eyes in pleasure, doing praying hands and throwing her head back.

“I’m glad I could help.” Allie giggles. Kelley holds out her hand for Allie to shake.

“Was it the power struggle comment or the fight?”

“Power struggle. Do you think this was a one-time thing or would you be able to this deliberately? I’ll pay you.” Kelley whispers.

“You know me Wormy, if I knew I was able to do that I would have already made a business out of it.”

“You got lucky Allie, yesterday I wanted to rip your head off, however now I think you’ve redeemed yourself.”

“I think you’re the one who got lucky.” Allie deadpans. Allie and Kelley look at each other for a split second, before they both burst into laughter.

#kelley o'hara #alex morgan #kellex #USWNT #kellexfanfic #kellexfic #part16 #love on the brain

[atmyhiraeth]

🐻 🐻 🐻 🐻

Send 🐻for a  memory from my muse’s childhood || accepting on Louis and Circe 

Age rundown: Louis - youngestStephen - 2 years olderMegan - 3 years older Lizzie - 4 years older 

Age 7

Both boys were shouting with laughter as Stephen tossed Louis to the ground, the younger of the brothers bouncing back quickly and throwing his smaller form at his big brother. This time Stephen didn’t throw Louis off him, but rather let the boy’s momentum send them both to the ground, where they lay wrestling on the damp ground for a few minutes until their oldest sister came stalking out. Already filled with self-importance and attitude, eleven-year-old Lizzie set both her hands on her hips and glared out at her brothers. “Mom says it’s time to come in and get ready for dinner.” She announced, wrinkling her nose at the boys. “You’re both dirty and gross.”

The two boys had paused when she started speaking, and now they exchanged a devious look. Abandoning their roughhousing, both muddy boys leapt from the ground and ran for their sister, who shrieked and fled back into the house, the laughter of her brothers chasing her into the house.

Still age 7

The four siblings were curled up across the couch and the loveseat in the living room watching Cheaper By The Dozen. Mom and dad were in the kitchen, talking and cleaning up after dinner and the children were left to their own devices.

“Fed Ex!” Lizzie howled with laughter. “Like Louis!” She threw a mocking look at her youngest sibling but before Louis could respond, Stephen was glaring at his sister.

“Shut up, Lizzie.”

“He’s not like anyone else, maybe he was fed-exed too.” This time it was Stephen who didn’t get a chance to respond, it was Louis who jumped up, eyes narrowed in hurt and anger, and threw himself at Lizzie, yanking her by the leg off the couch to fight with her like he would with Stephen. Lizzie shrieked- as she was wont to do- and Stephen jumped up right after Louis and pulled him off before he could do much more than jump onto his sister, and pulled him from the room.

“C'mon Lou, we’ll go play by ourselves. No girls allowed!” He shouted back at Lizzie, who was glaring at her brothers and looking to Megan for help, who had ignored the fight and looked away from her sister when Lizzie looked up at her. Megan had never been one to get involved in the others’ fights, and she wasn’t about to start now with a feud brewing between boys and girls. The two boys closed themselves away in Stephen’s room, made a sign ‘no girls allowed’ and hung it on his door, and Stephen let Louis play with his new racing game on his Xbox.

And Louis was able to relax for a few races, until Lizzie came pounding on the door demanding to be let in. The boys ignored her, snickering together until Lizzie unleashed the nuclear bomb.

Mom.

Who knocked, but it was a parental knock, a ‘I’m respecting your right to close your door but I’m also your parent and I can come in if I want to’ knock followed immediately by her unlocking the door and letting it swing open. “Boys, you have to be inclusive when you’re playing.”

“Lizzie was being mean!” Louis protested.

“Louis hit me!” Lizzie was quick to defend herself.

Their mother looked aghast at her youngest. “Louis is that true?” Her voice had sharpened, punishment inevitable in her voice.

“Lizzie started it!”

“Regardless, there is no hitting allowed in this house. Apologize to your sister.”

Stephen opened his mouth to protest but Louis didn’t see; all he saw was red as he threw the controller to the ground and stomped out of the room. “You always take her side!” He screamed, stomping as loudly as he could to his own room. “No one can come in!” He shouted before slamming the door shut.

Age 12

Phillip almost had him pinned in the grass, but at the last second Louis flipped them over and suddenly Phillip was the pinned rather than the pinner. Phillip kicked out, trying to dislodge Louis from above him, and started to succeed, which only made Louis laugh and struggle to keep the other boy pinned down.

Lizzie- still primped, still self-important, and still judgemental of everything Louis did- came out with a wrinkle of her nose that was exactly the same as it had been when she was eleven. “Louis!” She squalled. Whatever she had come out to say was lost to the disgust in her expression at the mud-covered pre-teens. “You are the most revolting person I’ve ever seen.” She snapped, eyes cold as they flicked between the two boys.

Phillip had paused, looking up at Lizzie from the ground, and Louis rolled off him, raking a hand through his hair with a grin. “Aww, must suck being so ugly you can’t afford to get dirty now and then.”

Lizzie’s eyes narrowed at him. “Better ugly than the accident baby.” She retorted with a mean curl of her lips, the hurt of his insult coming out in that old hurt she knew still stung him, that two-year difference between him and the next youngest as opposed to the single year difference between the older three. They all knew Louis wasn’t planned, but only Lizzie was ruthless enough to use it against him.

The red came back, and it was only when Phillip’s fingers wrapped around his wrist did he realize his hand had clenched into a fist. Held back by his best friend from physically lashing out, he lashed out instead with his words. “Maybe that’s why boys don’t want to kiss you- you’re too ugly.” It was a low blow, he’d heard her talking to one of her friends on her cell phone barely a week ago, knew it was a weak spot in Lizzie’s otherwise impenetrable armor of self-confidence. There was a guilty sense of satisfaction that twisted in his gut at the way her jaw dropped, at the shock and hurt that clouded her expression.

“You- you’re an asshole, Louis.” She bit back, turning on her heel and stalking back into the house with her head held high. When he looked back to Phillip, he felt the guilt worsen at the chiding look on his best friend’s face.

“What?”

“That was mean. She looked like she was going to cry.”

Louis shrugged. “It’s Lizzie, she’s fine. She’s probably planning her revenge right now.” And if not now, then soon. He’d pay for what he said, but it was worth it to have shut her up for once.

He could almost hear Phillip’s thoughts whirring, wondering if he should push the subject or let it go, and after a minute, with a quick strike of his fist against Louis’ shoulder, he jumped up from the ground and took off running. “You’re it!”

Louis yelped in delighted indignation and pushed from the ground to give chase. Tag. A kids’ game, yeah, but Phillip knew Louis, and knew that any game that pushed his limits physically was a game he’d always play. And while Louis may be the tougher of the two, Phillip had always been faster.

Age 22

Louis came waltzing into the foyer just as the door opened and Stephen came walking in, ushering in a pretty brunette. Louis paused, a smirk drawing over his lips at the sight of the girl he’d been told Stephen was bringing home. Stephen saw him, and Louis caught the look of apprehension that darted across his expression before he smiled, and felt that demon in his belly rise to the bait-that-wasn’t-bait. He turned a charming smile to the girl. “Hello there gorgeous. You are way too beautiful for this moron; what is my brother paying you to play happy couple with him? I promise I can double it.” He added with a wink.

She looked back to Stephen, confused and awkward, and he gave her a reassuring smile. “Mel can you give me a second with my brother?” She nodded and with a kiss to his cheek and a still-confused smile to Louis, she went down the hall to disappear behind the door that led to the living room.

Faster than Louis could react- and faster than he thought Stephen could move- Stephen had lunged for Louis, and wrapped an abnormally large arm around Louis’ neck and had him bent over in a headlock. “Look, I know you get off on being an asshole but I swear to god if you say something like that to her again I’m going to kick your ass.”

But though Stephen would always have the height and weight advantage, Louis was no longer the scrawny, untrained kid he was back in high school. His foot came out to hook around Stephen’s ankle, his hands grasped the arm around his neck, and he yanked his foot and pulled down on the arm in the same moment, throwing Stephen off balance and sending them both to the ground where they started grappling.

Melissa looked back to the door, starting to rise to see what the commotion was about, but the older sister, Elizabeth, stopped her with a hand on her knee, though it was Mr. Warren who spoke. “They’ll get it out of their system and be in in a minute. You know how boys are.”

“Louis likes to make a scene.” Elizabeth offered with a conspiratory smirk. “Every family’s got one, right?” She laughed.

Lou had taken on guys Stephen’s size before, guys fiercer and tougher than his brother who had only gotten into a handful of fights in his life. But despite the demon in his belly that pushed him to test Stephen’s patience with him, he didn’t want to hurt his brother. Stephen was just defending his girl, he wasn’t trying to truly hurt Louis, and Louis was loathe to genuinely hurt Stephen in return.

His hesitance cost him, though, and Stephen managed to pin him down despite his (semi)best efforts to free himself. “Get off me you jackass!”

But Stephen remained an immovable boulder atop Louis and looked down at him with none of the anger that so often bled into Louis’ eyes. The only thing in Stephen’s eyes was annoyance and a sad sort of understanding. “I’m not fucking around with you, Lou. If you can’t play nice for thirty damn minutes, leave.”

That succeeded in pausing Louis’ struggles. “The fuck?”

Stephen, assuming Louis’ lack of fighting back meant he was giving in, let go of Louis’ pinned wrists and rolled off his brother to stand, running a hand through his hair. Louis hated that after their fight, Stephen still could look just as put together with a single hand through his hair and a straightening of his shirt, whereas Louis would always be just short of presentable with his casual clothing and constantly-bruised skin. Stephen offered a hand that Louis ignored as he stood. “Either get along with everyone for half an hour or leave. I’m not gonna let you fuck this up.”

For a second, Louis was tempted to stay, to pretend he could get along with his family for more than a few minutes at a time, give Stephen the impression he wanted to give his girlfriend. But his brother was right; he got off on fucking with Lizzie, on being the black sheep. It was the only thing he’d ever excelled at in his family. He wasn’t smart like Lizzie or selfless like Megan, he hadn’t managed to turn his anger and physicality into a career like Stephen and he obviously hadn’t followed in either of his parents’ footsteps. All he was good at doing was fucking shit up.

So he left. He wondered for a minute if Stephen would follow him, but the front door closed behind him and no other footsteps followed him, and honestly… he couldn’t blame his brother.

#YOU SENT FOUR YOU GET FOUR #also that last one isn't really 'childhood' but idc hahahahah #heartstrcng #headcanons: louis

[things-i-want-2-tell-u-but-cant]

12/12/18 - 9.39 pm

I’m broken and numb. My mind is fuzzy, my stomach is in knots and I feel sick. I don’t know what to think, feel or do. Everything is up in the air and I hate it. I hate all of this.

After 7 months with you, going on 8, I never expected us to be in this position. Tip toeing around our problems, hurting each other. I have never been so unhappy as I have been this past month. And don’t think I’m blaming this on you, because I’m not. I know I am just as much to blame, if not more. After our talk on Friday I’ve realised that a lot of our problems have come from me. I say things expecting you to realise what I’m meaning, when you take everything at face value and dont read into anything. Which, I would say is probably the only cause of our problems really... and for that I am so fucking sorry. My heart is literally aching thinking about everything I’ve caused.

You’ve told me before that I need to be honest, and to tell you things - the reason you’re perspective has changed. And that I understand, but I hope you can see things from my side and see my reasoning behind why I can’t. The truth is I’m terrified. As it is, I don’t know what you want. And I feel like if I tell you the truth and how I’m feeling... I’ll ruin every chance with you and you’re going to leave if you don’t like what I have to say. And I know that probably won’t happen. But at the moment I feel like I am gripping onto us by a thread.

Which is where the whole things with other girls come in. It is true, I did tell you that it was okay to see other people. But I didn’t actually mean it in a sense. When I found out that you were talking to Khadra and that it seemed more than I thought it was... I was hurt. My heart broke and my stomach dropped. Truth be told, I knew the whole day while you were at my house on Sunday, I just didn’t want to let you know it effected me so much. But from that, I instantly felt like I wasn’t enough for you. You already had told me you wanted nothing from me but a friendship, you had been messaging girls on tinder asking to meet up and god knows what else... so thats why I said it was okay. Because after saying that you would either tell me you didn’t want to - and tell me I was enough for you.... or you would go to other chicks and prove that you didn’t want me at all... which unfortunately is what happened. And in my mind I already don’t feel good enough. So instantly all I could see was that you had found someone skinnier, prettier funnier and probably nicer than me. And that hurt. I’m not blaming it on you at all either, I just wanted to explain the reasoning behind why I said it and then got so upset by it all - its 100% still my fault it happened. 

Another thing I accept is that my type of communication is not the best. I struggle a lot to be able to say what I’m thinking - like forming the words is really hard for me and something I struggle with a lot. I generally have so much going on in my head that the only way I can make it make sense is by writing it all down - which is why I generally send you long messages like this haha (SORRY). But yeah so thats why it also may seem like I may hold back. Just know, it isn’t because I dont want you to know, its because Im literally just overwhelmed by emotion and I can’t make sense of it until I am able to sit down and write it all down. If i dont it literally will take me days to realise what the fuck is going on haha. But if you decide to take a shot on me - I’ve got a way around this dont you worry!

I apologize for everything I have said to you the past week - I know some of it would have been hard to hear and probably hurt you.. I didn’t intend on that. I think I’ve just been hurting for so long, I couldn’t it anymore. The truth is, I don’t think I can do the just friends thing. I tried my hardest, I really did. But at the end of the day I love you. And i know you don’t feel the same. But I just can’t sit there while I’m just “one of the boys” to you and I consider you to be my whole word (little bit of an exaggeration but ya get my point). 

You told me that I need to look at myself in a more positive light... And I get that. But one part of that is realizing I deserve better than just to be some girl who sits there waiting on a man she loves hand and foot while Theres a good chance that he could be fucking some other girl the whole time without her knowing. And I know that’s probably dramatic in your eyes. But I’ve spent so many years of my life doing this for other guys. I sit around, giving them my all, only to get sidelined and used as a toy when theyre bored or in between girlfriends. I love you with all of my heart but I don’t want to go back to that. To feeling useless and worthless.

So the choice is yours. I don’t expect you to come up with an answer within a day. You can take as long as you want or need. But before you do. Theres some things I need you to know. 

Firstly, I know you’re used to people leaving. But i swear to you, that isn’t going to happen with me. If anything, the past few weeks have proved that. Even in the hardest of times, like the past month, I will choose you. I will fight for you the whole way through, and never ever give up on you if you let me. And I also know, that its also YOU having to leave which scares you. But i hope you get that if we’re together, I would go with you as soon as I could. And until that day I would save every cent I had to be able to visit you every chance I have. I would call you every day. I would do everything I could to stick by your side. Because I know you haven’t had much of a chance to have someone do that, to have someone that stays by your side no matter what happens and no matter what the distance. But i promise you, if given the chance, I would do that all for you and so much more. Because, believe it or not I have the same fear. You’re the only person who has stayed... everyone else, even my friends has given up on me. Even my family. When i moved up to Auckland I literally went 6 months without once seeing my mum. So i know what its like for people to be ripped away from you or to leave your life.. and I would never ever put you through that. I’m sticking with ya until the day you tell me youre done. 

I also need you to know that it’s okay. You have this strong fear associated with me. You’re so worried and scared that you’re going to hurt me or fuck my life up. And because of that you hold me at arms length. Every time you let me close and become vulnerable, you push me away and go back to wanting nothing to do with me. I know you think you’re a mess. That could be true, but fuck. Look at me, I’m the biggest mess of them all. But that doesn’t mean anything. It doesnt mean you dont deserve love, it doesnt mean you’re going to hurt everyone in you’re life who gets close to you. We have a lot to still learn about ourselves, and thats okay. But I need you to know that I’m willing to go through that all with you. We’ve grown so much as people in the last 7 months, just imagine what we can achieve with more time. And if you haven’t fucked my life up by now, I’m pretty sure that it won’t happen considering I’m growing stronger every day.

And that’s another thing. I still don’t think you believe how much you mean to me. Like Tira and I constantly told you on Friday but you wouldn’t accept it. And I think the one thing that highlights that, is the fact that after feeling the way I’ve been feeling and after everything, I’m still here. Even when I said we were done - I couldnt help but message you everyday. I was constantly wondering if you were okay, etc. You’re the first person I’ve even done this with, trying to talk everything out. Usually I would give up and just walk away. But with you... I can’t. 

I know I probably sound fucking crazy (my bad if i do), I just love you. 

I love the fact that you can write a rap in less than an hour - and a fucking good rap at that. I love the way you get self conscious and shy when you tell me about the things you like or find funny and always do the typical “hahhahaha nah i dont know”. I love the way you’re starting to open up to me, like on Sunday morning telling me about your childhood and your songs. I love the way even when you thought you hated me, you still went out of your way to check if I was alright. I love the way how you always put me first - like you were so mad and upset on Sunday morning but as soon as you saw I was crying you like melted and were so kind to me. I love the way I feel so comfortable at youre house, like ugh, I adore your mum shes so lovely. I love the way you make me feel at home, something I haven’t felt since I was year 6. I love the way you believe in me more than anyone else i know, and even when we’re not in a good space, you still stand up for me. Theres not one thing I don’t love about you, apart from you’re farts, those are raaank. But at the end of the day what I’m trying to say is there isn’t anything you could do that would make me hate you. We’re young, we have so much to learn about ourselves and each other. There are going to be days when we want to kill each other. Theres days where we may hurt each other. But I know for a fact, that we care for each other so much, and only want the best for each other. I just idunno, I’ve spent over half a year with you... and ive enjoyed myself so much it feels like its only been about 3 months. I wouldnt have wanted to spend the time with anyone else and im so greatful and appreciative of you. 

I’m not asking you for the world. I’m not expecting you to want to be in a relationship with me and start calling me you’re girlfriend over night. Thats unrealistic. But for me, It’s more a choice of whether you want to pursue other girls like khadra, megan and morgan. Or you want to delete your tinder, and give us a shot. We can still start off as friends. We dont have to have sex, or kiss or hold hands - i mean i love doing all of that and would do it in a heartbeat. But what im trying to say is I dont have any expectations. I just want to know if you’re willing to take a shot on me and not flirt with other girls, etc.... or if I should do everything in my power to move on from you and let you be...

Either way, just know that you’re an amazing person. you deserve the absolute world and the best love the world can give. And i’m sorry if you dont think I can give that to you

hope work isnt too bad tomorrow! Wish you were coming to graduation with me - Im going to miss you. LY xx

[kenzieam]

The Right Wrong Choice - Chapter 5 (Eric X OC)

Rating: M (swearing, violence, smut - everything you’ve come to expect from me :* )

Genre: General/Humor/Drama/Eventual Angst

Thanks everyone for the re-blogs and support!!! IT IS SO AWESOME!!!

@emmysrandomthoughts@beautifulramblingbrains @iammarylastar @tigpooh67 @bookwarm85 @mom2reesie @elaacreditava @badassbaker @captstefanbrandt  @treeleaf @pathybo @beltz2016 @lilu46  @girlwith100names @gaia25 @readsalot73  @slayer0507 @stone-met @lostinthebeans @lauraaan182 @letmagichappen @girlslovestorys @tonyt1995 @lacy-love @littlesouthernrebel @fuckthatfeeling  @sparklemichele @vitaevandal @shaunarcanine @jojogoo65 @micolegg @frecklefaceb @jaihardy @equalstrashflavoredtrash @bookgirlthings @queenara4 @sterek-foreverandever

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The next week is.....fuck, I can’t even. Eric ignores me and is a colossal prick to absolutely everyone. Punishments are thrown around like candy at a parade, and no one is safe. Fortunately, the day I get called out, so do four other people and we make a sorry sight dragging our asses around the track, only after an Erudite girl, Megan, pukes and passes out does he irritably tell us to piss off.

We’ve started fighting each other too, pairs are written on the board and we’re expected to fight until one of us wins or the other concedes. I got royally beat in my first fight against Ethan, and woke up to Maddox and Pax carrying me to the infirmary. My next fight was better, but I got seriously lucky and I’m sure the only reason I won against Megan was because she tripped and fell onto my fist. I’ve started training after hours again; Eric leaves me completely alone, and I need the practice.

At night my dreams are confusing and vivid. At first they made no sense whatsoever, but gradually a constant theme has emerged. Eric. Always Eric, in some shape or form. At first he was a dark shadow, lurking and stalking, making me glance nervously over my shoulder as I ran down endless corridors; but now, he is no longer a shadow, I catch glimpses of him and he’s not frightening anymore, he’s sad, maybe even heartbroken. In a way, that’s harder, I could fight against fear, but my heart is susceptible to sadness and misery. My parents always called my compassion for others a ‘weak throwback to your mother’s Abnegation side’ and made me feel like less for it, but I’ve never been comfortable with another’s emotional pain. It’s worse with Eric, because I know that I’m the cause, and after my initial knee-jerk reaction in the corridor, my feelings are starting to change or, more likely, hidden ones are starting to surface.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, and my mind runs the gamut from confused to crystal clear, sometimes during the same damn thought; it’s driving me insane. My tepid reaction to Pax’s attentions is what’s most telling, he’s exactly the type of guy I’d have mooned over in Candor, but now, he’s not enough. I’m not ready to chuck it all in and go running after Lurch though either; he’s capable of an incredible level of assholery, and he’s been ignoring me ever since our desperate kiss in the corridor. I’m not sure what that means, has he given up? Is he sullen and pouting? The man is a mystery; I had him pegged for a complete jerk, a sadistic bastard but the way he leaned against me in the corridor, the way he kissed me and ran his hands over my skin is the complete opposite of that, made my heart race like it never has before; but if I’ve screwed up that chance, I’m not going to beg for another.

I win handily in my second to last fight, kicking the ever-loving shit out of Megan’s boyfriend, a fellow Erudite named Daniel. I feel a flash of pride, he was definitely one of the top fighters in our class, but I saw a clear opportunity and as it turns out, he possesses a glass jaw. Eric surprises me by actually acknowledging my victory, nodding in my direction with, is that a spark of pride?

Today was our last day of the first phase, our last fight and I was pit against Raye. I hate Eric for this, for making me fight my friend. I won, Raye conceding before I broke her arm in a submission hold and I spat angrily at Eric’s feet as I stormed by.

I catch sight of his shadow leaving the training room later as I scan the rankings. I’m sixth, I am still in the running to be Dauntless. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

There is no obnoxious clanging on the metal railing to wake us the next day. It is Visiting Day and basically a free-for-all, no scheduled activities. I have no idea if my parents are coming, Candor is not a touchy-feely faction and I’m sure I shocked them when I ‘chose’ Dauntless. I wander the Pit for awhile, meet Raye’s parents, and am about to leave, go to the quiet reading ledge I’ve discovered by the Chasm when I hear my name called.

“Madeline?”

I turn in shock. Both of my parents stand there, stark in Candor black and white. I swallow hard and walk towards them. As usual, they have no reservations about saying their mind.

“What were you thinking? Transferring to Dauntless? You could do so much better!”

A knot of humiliation tightens in my chest, was I that prejudiced when I was a dependent? Their intolerance shames me. I’m still formulating a response when I sense someone step beside me. A hand ghosts across my lower back, trailing fire and there is only one person in the city that I react to this way.

“Mr and Mrs Fawkes? I’m Eric, your daughter’s trainer and Initiation Leader.” His voice is smooth and diplomatic, but I see the tension in his jaw, he heard every word.

“Initiation Leader? You’re a little young, aren’t you?” My father, as per usual, has no filter; at Candor it was expected, here, it’s just rude.

“Age is only a number, sir.” I’m not sure if my father hears the warning in the word sir but I do, and my heart starts to pound. Strangely though, I’m not anxious for my parents, I’m anxious for Eric, I don’t want him to be subjected to the intolerance’s of my family.

My hand brushes his and I manage to hide my shock when he grabs it and holds tight. My parents may be willfully blind to the virtues of other factions, but their laser vision doesn’t miss this. I immediately don’t like the calculating look on my mother’s face; I can almost hear her thoughts out loud, well, she’s chosen the heathen faction, but at least she’s attached herself to a leader, we haven’t totally raised a moron.

Suddenly I want out of this, I’m done. I’m not sure what I expected today, but I realize with a jolt that I’m past my past, I’ve moved on, my expectations are different, my values have changed. Dauntless may not be the ‘intelligent’ or the ‘honest’ faction, but it’s mine goddammit, and I fit in. I’m not surprised when Eric catches onto these thoughts and squeezes my hand, it gives me the strength for my next words.

“Well, thank you for making the trip here. I’d like you to go now. Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye, Father.” I take a step back, turn in tandem with Eric, leave my parents standing there in shock.

I don’t even care anymore. I’m mortified when I start to sniffle. I try to pull my hand away from Eric’s, my face burning. He says nothing, just hangs on and leads me to the stairs. We hit the top of the stairwell and I frown when Eric leads me to an unmarked door, he pushes it open and we’re on a rooftop. His hand slackens slightly, letting me know I can let go if I want to, but I don’t anymore and feel warm at the small smile that touches his lips.

He walks to the far side, around a small shed and leans against it. I lean on the wall beside him and look out over the city. The view here is different than Candor and I immediately fall in love with it. We don’t speak for a long time and, like when we in the armoury, the silence is not uncomfortable.

I’m not sure what has changed, maybe it’s seeing my old life and it’s limited perspective, maybe just the passage of the last few weeks and my willing assimilation into Dauntless, but I no longer fight the realization that has been hovering over me. I’ve been fighting my fate and, like a true Dauntless, I’m ready to face it now.

I squeeze Eric’s hand, and as he turns his head to look at me, I move to stand in front of him. His other hand gently grips my hip and pulls me closer. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, just gazes at me and the softness in his eyes causes a heat to build in my chest. No one has ever looked at me this way before, and it doesn’t scare like I thought it would, like it did in the empty corridor when Eric took a chance and confessed his feelings for me and I ran away from him. His hand leaves my hip and gently cups my cheek and I lean my face into his touch. Why did I fight this? It feels like coming home.

“Madeline,” Eric whispers, his voice quiet.

I can’t wait any longer and close the distance between us. His ragged exhale tells me how hard this has been for him, the desperate edge to his touch mirrors my own.

“It’s Fox now,” I murmur as his lips claim mine. I crush my mouth to his, I can’t get close enough and his arms wrap around me, pull me against his chest. He groans as I wrap my leg around his hip and his knees give out. Slowly he slides down the wall, pulling me with him, until he’s sitting on the roof and I’m straddling his lap. I feel him hard and hot beneath me and my heart starts to pound with anticipation. I want this, and I want it now, I’ve wasted enough time.

I yank at his jacket while he does at mine and we pull reluctantly apart long enough to toss them away. His hands are hot on my skin as they slide under my shirt and pull it over my head. I’m wearing my favourite black lace bra and he groans in appreciation, dropping his head to kiss the tops of my breasts. As his hands reach up my back and undo my bra clasp I pull at his jeans zipper, reaching inside to stroke his cock. The sound he makes causes a shiver to run through me and his body physically jolts at my touch.

“Fuck baby,” I hear him gasp and my body clenches. I pull away long enough to begin yanking at my own jeans and Eric’s hands cover mine. He’s panting for breath and his pupils are blown. “Are you sure? Out here? But aren’t you a virgin?”

I clasp his face in one hand and reach back down to his cock with the other, his hiss is guttural and strained. “Yes, yes and yes,” I breathe, dropping forward to kiss him again. I don’t care where we are, I don’t care if this isn’t the most romantic of settings, what matters to me is the man below me, the man I am seconds away from connecting with. Damn him, he tries to pull away one more time.

“Fox,” he groans, “a condom.”

I stand and yank my jeans down, kicking them off furiously, my underwear follows but Eric snatches them from my hand before they can join the pile of discarded clothing. He stuffs them into his pocket as I hook my fingers into his belt loops and pull, he raises his hips to help. His jeans join the growing pile of clothes and I straddle his lap again, some buried instinct of mine makes me roll my hips against him and Eric drops his head back with a groan. I remember his earlier protest and whisper into his ear.

“I’m on the shot...hurry up and touch me, goddammit.”

The strangled moan that leaves his mouth makes the tingling between my legs grow. His hand cups me there and it feels good, it feels right. I moan his name and he groans mine in response. I shudder as I feel him push a finger inside of me and after a second of it feeling foreign it starts to feel good and I grind myself down on him.

“Fuck, baby you’re so fucking hot,” he gasps, his face buried in my neck as he adds another finger, stretching me wider. I know what is going to happen next, I know it will hurt at first, and I still want it. His fingers inside me are stroking some magic place inside me and the most amazing sensation is building in me. I try to speak and manage only a whimper instead, but Eric knows what is happening.

“That’s it baby, let go. Come for me,” his words are a powerful caress, his voice straining with lust and the tingling overwhelms me. I’d be embarrassed by the sounds I’m making if it wasn’t for how turned on they seem to be making Eric. I collapse against him, can’t stop myself from trembling. I’m super sensitive and Eric slowly withdraws his hand, his chest heaving.

“Oh god-” I can’t finish and Eric’s low chuckle vibrates against me. “Does it always feel like that?”

“Yes, if you want it to.”

“I do,” I breathe, rolling my hips again. “Please Eric.”

His hand touches me again, then strokes down his length, spreading my juices to ease his passage. Holding himself steady, he meets my eyes, his other hand on my hip, helping guide me down. I gasp as the head of his thick cock touches my folds and Eric drops his head back with a hiss, gritting his teeth. I lower myself further, forcing myself to relax and accept the strange intrusion. Eric is large and he’s stretching me almost too painfully, but I want this too much to back down now. I hit resistance, realize I’m at the last barrier of my virginity and bite my lip. No pain, no pleasure, if my first time is a gift, I want to give it to Eric. His groan is ragged as I push past the pain, as I take Eric’s whole length inside me, his thighs quiver beneath me.

“Fox,” his voice is threadbare, a gasp. His muscles tremble. I pause, giving both of us a minute to recover, then, instinct takes over and I stop thinking. I rise up, pulling almost completely free before lowering myself down again, and his cock glides deliciously inside me, the pain is already gone. His hands grip my hips hard enough to bruise and I curl against him, our heads press into the crook of each other’s neck. A desperation takes hold of me, and I gasp Eric’s name as he thrusts upwards, filling me completely, setting off more of the delicious tingles I felt before. Our bodies move as one, each thrust brings me closer and closer to the edge. His rough grunts and groans in my ear, the desperate way he gasps my name, his hands holding me almost suffocatingly close as his hips thrust upwards into me ignite an inferno inside me and I let it consume me, let it explode outward and envelop Eric too.

I scream his name as my orgasm hits, as I convulse in his arms and bare seconds later he joins me, roaring in his own release. I feel warmth as he pulses inside me and a bone-deep satisfaction, a rightness flows through me as his hips continue to snap erratically below me, his roar trailing off to a ragged groan. His head drops into my neck as he pants, as aftershocks race through his body and make his muscles jump. I’m spent, exhausted as I curl against his chest, but as soon as he withdraws from my body I want him again. I whimper and cling to him, relief flooding me when he pulls me close, buries his head in my hair and presses a tender kiss to my throat. It’s almost embarrassing at the level of vulnerability I’m willing to show Eric right now, but then, he’s baring his heart to me too.

“Take me to your apartment,” I breathe into his neck and Eric groans against my skin.

“I’ll never let you leave if I do,” his whisper is harsh and possessive.

“Good.”

Reluctantly we part to dress, and as I’m pulling my shirt down Eric’s hands run hot over my ribs, pulling me back against his chest, my ass bumps his hips; he is ready again, hard for me and a delicious shiver runs through me at the thought that me, my body, my mind is affecting him so strongly. His lips caress my ear then he whispers.

“Go ahead to my apartment, the door code is 74290. I’ll be right there.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to talk to Four, get him to erase the security camera footage.”

My heart skips, “you mean, they saw us?”

His breath is warm as his tongue joins his lips and I fight not to whirl in his arms and start ripping at his clothes again.

“No, not up here; they saw us in the stairwell, they’ll see you go to my apartment.”

I don’t want to hide, we shouldn’t have to and I say as much.

“Baby, I don’t want to either, but until you’re done training, we have to be discreet.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say ‘fuck discreet’ but Eric already knows me too well. “It’s just for a few more weeks, we’re starting the second stage tomorrow, stay calm Red.”

I scoff and playfully try to pull away, “stop calling me that.”

“What should I call you then?” He lets me pull away to arm length, his hand still holding mine.

I take a chance, hope I’m not wrong, but Dauntless are brave. “How about ‘mine’?”

Eric goes still, his eyes widen slightly and I can almost hear his heart pounding. He pulls me roughly towards him, cups my cheek. His voice is guttural and rough when he speaks again. “Are you? Mine?”

“Do you want me?” I counter, holding out my heart, waiting.

The low sound he makes almost stops my heart, it is single-handedly the most possessive and ardent, most worshipful and passionate noise I have ever heard another person make. He pulls me to him, crushing me against his muscular chest and his arms band tightly around me. His breath is slightly unsteady in my ear as his cheek rests against my hair and for a long moment he doesn’t speak. Then he exhales and presses a kiss to my forehead, his hand strokes gently along my cheek and he whispers in my ear.

“Yes.”

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