#that is way better and less biased that the “study” the girl in the video cited

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Here's a shortlist of those who realized that I — a cis woman who'd identified as heterosexual for decades of life — was in fact actually bi, long before I realized it myself recently: my sister, all my friends, my boyfriend, and the TikTok algorithm.

On TikTok, the relationship between user and algorithm is uniquely (even sometimes uncannily) intimate. An app which seemingly contains as many multitudes of life experiences and niche communities as there are people in the world, we all start in the lowest common denominator of TikTok. Straight TikTok (as it's popularly dubbed) initially bombards your For You Page with the silly pet videos and viral teen dances that folks who don't use TikTok like to condescendingly reduce it to.

Quickly, though, TikTok begins reading your soul like some sort of divine digital oracle, prying open layers of your being never before known to your own conscious mind. The more you use it, the more tailored its content becomes to your deepest specificities, to the point where you get stuff that's so relatable that it can feel like a personal attack (in the best way) or (more dangerously) even a harmful trigger from lifelong traumas.

For example: I don't know what dark magic (read: privacy violations) immediately clued TikTok into the fact that I was half-Brazilian, but within days of first using it, Straight TikTok gave way to at first Portuguese-speaking then broader Latin TikTok. Feeling oddly seen (being white-passing and mostly American-raised, my Brazilian identity isn't often validated), I was liberal with the likes, knowing that engagement was the surefire way to go deeper down this identity-affirming corner of the social app.

TikTok made lots of assumptions from there, throwing me right down the boundless, beautiful, and oddest multiplicities of Alt TikTok, a counter to Straight TikTok's milquetoast mainstreamness.

Home to a wide spectrum of marginalized groups, I was giving out likes on my FYP like Oprah, smashing that heart button on every type of video: from TikTokers with disabilities, Black and Indigenous creators, political activists, body-stigma-busting fat women, and every glittering shade of the LGBTQ cornucopia. The faves were genuine, but also a way to support and help offset what I knew about the discriminatory biases in TikTok's algorithm.

My diverse range of likes started to get more specific by the minute, though. I wasn't just on general Black TikTok anymore, but Alt Cottagecore Middle-Class Black Girl TikTok (an actual label one creator gave her page's vibes). Then it was Queer Latina Roller Skating Girl TikTok, Women With Non-Hyperactive ADHD TikTok, and then a double whammy of Women Loving Women (WLW) TikTok alternating between beautiful lesbian couples and baby bisexuals.

Looking back at my history of likes, the transition from queer “ally” to “salivating simp” is almost imperceptible.

There was no one precise "aha" moment. I started getting "put a finger down" challenges that wouldn't reveal what you were putting a finger down for until the end. Then, 9-fingers deep (winkwink), I'd be congratulated for being 100% bisexual. Somewhere along the path of getting served multiple WLW Disney cosplays in a single day and even dom lesbian KinkTok roleplay — or whatever the fuck Bisexual Pirate TikTok is — deductive reasoning kind of spoke for itself.

But I will never forget the one video that was such a heat-seeking missile of a targeted attack that I was moved to finally text it to my group chat of WLW friends with a, "Wait, am I bi?" To which the overwhelming consensus was, "Magic 8 Ball says, 'Highly Likely.'"

Serendipitously posted during Pride Month, the video shows a girl shaking her head at the caption above her head, calling out confused and/or closeted queers who say shit like, "I think everyone is a LITTLE bisexual," to the tune of "Closer" by The Chainsmokers. When the lyrics land on the word "you," she points straight at the screen — at me — her finger and inquisitive look piercing my hopelessly bisexual soul like Cupid's goddamn arrow.

Oh no, the voice inside my head said, I have just been mercilessly perceived.

As someone who had, in fact, done feminist studies at a tiny liberal arts college with a gender gap of about 70 percent women, I'd of course dabbled. I've always been quick to bring up the Kinsey scale, to champion a true spectrum of sexuality, and to even declare (on multiple occasions) that I was, "straight, but would totally fuck that girl!"

Oh no, the voice inside my head returned, I've literally just been using extra words to say I was bi.

After consulting the expertise of my WLW friend group (whose mere existence, in retrospect, also should've clued me in on the flashing neon pink, purple, and blue flag of my raging bisexuality), I ran to my boyfriend to inform him of the "news."

"Yeah, baby, I know. We all know," he said kindly.

"How?!" I demanded.

Well for one, he pointed out, every time we came across a video of a hot girl while scrolling TikTok together, I'd without fail watch the whole way through, often more than once, regardless of content. (Apparently, straight girls do not tend to do this?) For another, I always breathlessly pointed out when we'd pass by a woman I found beautiful, often finding a way to send a compliment her way. ("I'm just a flirt!" I used to rationalize with a hand wave, "Obvs, I'm not actually sexually attracted to them!") Then, I guess, there were the TED Talk-like rants I'd subject him to about the thinly veiled queer relationship in Adventure Time between Princess Bubblegum and Marcelyne the Vampire Queen — which the cowards at Cartoon Network forced creators to keep as subtext!

And, well, when you lay it all out like that...

But my TikTok-fueled bisexual awakening might actually speak less to the omnipotence of the app's algorithm, and more to how heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

Sure, TikTok bombarded me with the thirst traps of my exact type of domineering masc lady queers, who reduced me to a puddle of drool I could no longer deny. But I also recalled a pivotal moment in college when I briefly questioned my heterosexuality, only to have a lesbian friend roll her eyes and chastise me for being one of those straight girls who leads Actual Queer Women on. I figured she must know better. So I never pursued any of my lady crushes in college, which meant I never experimented much sexually, which made me conclude that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I'd never had actual sex with a woman. I also didn't really enjoy lesbian porn much, though the fact that I'd often find myself fixating on the woman during heterosexual porn should've clued me into that probably coming more from how mainstream lesbian porn is designed for straight men.

The ubiquity of heterormativity, even when unwittingly perpetrated by members of the queer community, is such an effective self-sustaining cycle. Aside from being met with queer-gating (something I've since learned bi folks often experience), I had a hard time identifying my attraction to women as genuine attraction, simply because it felt different to how I was attracted to men.

Heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

So much of women's sexuality — of my sexuality — can feel defined by that carnivorous kind of validation you get from men. I met no societal resistance in fully embodying and exploring my desire for men, either (which, to be clear, was and is insatiable slut levels of wanting that peen.) But in retrospect, I wonder how many men I slept with not because I was truly attracted to them, but because I got off on how much they wanted me.

My attraction to women comes with a different texture of eroticism. With women (and bare with a baby bi, here), the attraction feels more shared, more mutual, more tender rather than possessive. It's no less raw or hot or all-consuming, don't get me wrong. But for me at least, it comes more from a place of equality rather than just power play. I love the way women seem to see right through me, to know me, without us really needing to say a word.

I am still, as it turns out, a sexual submissive through-and-through, regardless of what gender my would-be partner is. But, ignorantly and unknowingly, I'd been limiting my concept of who could embody dominant sexual personas to cis men. But when TikTok sent me down that glorious rabbit hole of masc women (who know exactly what they're doing, btw), I realized my attraction was not to men, but a certain type of masculinity. It didn't matter which body or genitalia that presentation came with.

There is something about TikTok that feels particularly suited to these journeys of sexual self-discovery and, in the case of women loving women, I don't think it's just the prescient algorithm. The short-form video format lends itself to lightning bolt-like jolts of soul-bearing nakedness, with the POV camera angles bucking conventions of the male gaze, which entrenches the language of film and TV in heterosexual male desire.

In fairness to me, I'm far from the only one who missed their inner gay for a long time — only to have her pop out like a queer jack-in-the-box throughout a near year-long quarantine that led many of us to join TikTok. There was the baby bi mom, and scores of others who no longer had to publicly perform their heterosexuality during lockdown — only to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not heterosexual at all?

Flooded with video after video affirming my suspicions, reflecting my exact experiences as they happened to others, the change in my sexual identity was so normalized on TikTok that I didn't even feel like I needed to formally "come out." I thought this safe home I'd found to foster my baby bisexuality online would extend into the real world.

But I was in for a rude awakening.

Testing out my bisexuality on other platforms, casually referring to it on Twitter, posting pictures of myself decked out in a rainbow skate outfit (which I bought before realizing I was queer), I received nothing but unquestioning support and validation. Eventually, I realized I should probably let some members of my family know before they learned through one of these posts, though.

Daunted by the idea of trying to tell my Latina Catholic mother and Swiss Army veteran father (who's had a crass running joke about me being a "lesbian" ever since I first declared myself a feminist at age 12), I chose the sibling closest to me. Seeing as how gender studies was one of her majors in college too, I thought it was a shoo-in. I sent an off-handed, joke-y but serious, "btw I'm bi now!" text, believing that's all that would be needed to receive the same nonchalant acceptance I found online.

It was not.

I didn't receive a response for two days. Hurt and panicked by what was potentially my first mild experience of homophobia, I called them out. They responded by insisting we need to have a phone call for such "serious" conversations. As I calmly tried to express my hurt on said call, I was told my text had been enough to make this sibling worry about my mental wellbeing. They said I should be more understanding of why it'd be hard for them to (and I'm paraphrasing) "think you were one way for twenty-eight years" before having to contend with me deciding I was now "something else."

But I wasn't "something else," I tried to explain, voice shaking. I hadn't knowingly been deceiving or hiding this part of me. I'd simply discovered a more appropriate label. But it was like we were speaking different languages. Other family members were more accepting, thankfully. There are many ways I'm exceptionally lucky, my IRL environment as supportive as Baby Bi TikTok. Namely, I'm in a loving relationship with a man who never once mistook any of it as a threat, instead giving me all the space in the world to understand this new facet of my sexuality.

I don't have it all figured out yet. But at least when someone asks if I listen to Girl in Red on social media, I know to answer with a resounding, "Yes," even though I've never listened to a single one of her songs. And for now, that's enough.

#tiktok #queer education #bisexual education #queer nation #bisexual nation #bisexuality #lgbtq community #bi #lgbtq #support bisexuality #bisexuality is valid #lgbtq pride #bi tumblr #pride #bi pride #bisexual #bisexual community #support bisexual #bisexual women #bisexual people #bisexual youth #bisexual activist #coming out bisexual #bicurious #bicuriosity #bi positivity #bisexual info #bi+

[antiloreolympus]

7 Anti LO Asks

1. tbh the fact rachel purposely didnt let persephone have any romantic relationships before hades gives the impression that had persephone had any other experience, she'd see right through him and not want him because she had better. not having any other point of reference isnt good. its setting up that hades can get away with whatever he wants because she doesnt know anything else. thats really not a healthy dynamic to have even while dating, much less eternal marriage.

2. You know what’s weird? How Hades is a 2000+ year old being and still has not gone through his trauma. We know that he was eaten by Kronos when he was around 8 and stayed there for like 13 years if i’m correct (in the LO version), so we can assume that when he got out he was in his early to mid twenties. And then he fought in the war which we don’t know how long it was in LO bc there’s no info on that at all but let’s assume that that lasted 100 years.. he’s still pretty young there. So how is it that he’s only now getting help for his traumas? Which we don’t even see actually, it’s just a sentence said by him when he adopts the little dog. We don’t even know how old he actually is bc it’s always assumed it’s 2000+ but 2000+ years old could mean 2030 years old or 2999 years old or even 3000 and more and he has just lost track of time. All of these years and he still has not processed or made any progress?? At all?! Unless therapists are a new thing in the Underworld but we have Chiron who says that she was a physician in the old world but got tired of it so she decided to study the human mind. And that must have been quite some time ago. So why exactly is Hades a 2000+ broken man who needs to be fixed by a 19 year old going through her own trauma? 

3. The underworld being an infertile world doesn’t make sense at all. If we compare the underworld with the underground it’s a fact that where there’s decay if is more fertile. Not to mention that in the myths the underworld is in fact considered a fertile land. We know that the underworld is full of souls, and souls are considered what give life to a body or place, so the underworld being a desert still doesn’t make sense at all. 

4.If I may also add, just because LO is a “retelling” doesn’t mean it doesn’t harm Greece or Greek people. They still exist, funnily enough, they didn’t all die once Alexander the Great stop conquering. They’re a country full of strong, passionate people who have gone and are still going through massive problems and hardships. They are also a country who are still, at best, ignored, or at worst, mocked for the suffering they must endure by nations that are far from economic instability and from actual war zones like Greece is. Despite all that, their mythos are seen with great reverence to this day, and they don’t “gatekeep” it, you can ask any Greek in here and they’ll tell you they enjoy stuff like the Disney version or PJO just fine, but you have to stop and wonder why LO is a Greek myth product that is almost universally despised to Greeks who know it exists.

It’s pretty obvious why, RS not only butchers the myths completely to where they don’t even resemble what they once were, but her constantly silencing and badmouthing actual Greeks who want to help her make it more accurate is not a great look. She’s acting as if she, a white woman from an island made of literal England reject descendants, somehow not only knows more about Greek myth than actual Greeks, but that she OWNS the mythology and she can do whatever she wants with it, and only those who agree to her biases know what they’re talking about while everyone else is wrong, so obviously Greeks don’t know Greek mythology! Even media products in the same, non-Greek realm as her get her ire. Case in point, we know she’s hostile to PJO, she badmouths the Disney movie all the time, she complained about Blood of Zeus (emphasize on ZEUS) didn’t revolve around HxP, and despite them being heavily promoted by her own employers, she never speaks of Punderworld or HxP ficlets, even when her fans harass them and in Ficlets case purposely got them kicked off Canvas for “copying” LO, meanwhile she will happily promote OSP because they confirm her biases and kissed her butt in their HxP video. What does this tell us? Because it doesn’t seem very nice.

Of course she’s allowed as a creator to play with the mythology as she wants, but even then there are still limits to adhere to, and she never does it because obviously her half-baked concept of the “mythology” is way better than the 3000+ years of texts and interpretations out there. Sure she has people flinging themselves at her to offer her help for free, especially Greeks and academics, but what would they know over her, the self proclaimed master of mythology itself? Obviously she created it all in 2016 when she decided to draw a sexy pink girl and that’s it. Greece and everyone else was just using a fake version this whole time! 

It seems from her POV, Greece ands its citizens are, in her own words “haters” who apparently know less about Greece and its own mythology than her, a white woman who uses a fanfic-writing white supremacist as a main source. The ego on this woman is astonishing.

5. May I also add to the age discourse, something like Edward and Bella can get away with it because Edward stopped aging physically, mentally, and emotionally at 17, and even in story there is a logic to them still going to HighSchool after all this time. He may be 117 age wise, but he’s at the same exact level as Bella in every other regard. That doesn’t excuse his creepy actions, of course, but there is in canon logic to it to justify it and make sense.

I’d say LO could use this too, but tbh it wouldn’t work. Either it’d involve making a CEO king as immature and childish as a 19 year old (not great) or it’d have a 19 year old suddenly be way wiser beyond her years which wouldn’t make much narrative sense, but also has some really creepy implications to it. Anyway RS dug herself into a stupid hole and doesn’t know how to get out of it. 

6. im in the same boat 😭 i was watching one of those LO critique videos you posted and they were showing panels from early on and i just thought "they photoshopped this, right? theres no way it looked this bad. they're just goofing around with this" and nope, that's exactly how they looked the video didnt change a thing. the bright colors really were distracting your eyes from seeing how bad it looked.

7. Correct me if i’m wrong but in one of the first few episodes wasn’t Hades annoyed with Persephone? Especially at the panel where she wanted to drive his car? Like nothing has really changed in her behaviour with him apart from her being more flirty, but the only change is that Hades started viewing her more sexually. Always thinking about her breasts and butt, and nothing else. Half the time he was thinking about her, he wouldn’t even think of her face. So how exactly is their relationship a romantic and lovely one? 

#anti lo art #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lo

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

miraculous ladybug and smart characters. 

there’s actually quite a few smart characters in miraculous ladybug, but the only one we’re really made to believe is smart is max.

this got very long so i’m putting it under a cut.

max kante. there’s no denying that he’s smart, but if you’re writing a smart character and you decide to make them like max well....you’ve misunderstood what makes a person smart.

what does max do to ‘prove’ that he’s smart?

well he:

lists percentages of probability

recalls obscure facts

made an AI robot friend

uses big words

i’ve probably missed something but this is how we’re shown that max is smart. and well it’s not wrong, you do need to be smart to make such a sophisticated AI as markov but...

spouting exact probabilities and facts doesn’t actually make you smart.

for starters, recalling facts is an aspect of memory not understanding, and understanding concepts is a better indicator of intelligence than memorising concepts.

my senior physics teacher really liked to make a point of this by letting us take our own formula sheets into exams. the kicker was that we only had to apply our understanding of the formulas, not whether or not we could remember them in the first place.

as for percentage probability, well, i’ve only touched on probability in my university career but modelling the probability of real life situations includes a lot more complexity and accounting for error than is really possible from just whacking a few numbers into a calculator.

and the big words, well. most often people who use big words during casual conversation are usually people pretending that they’re smarter than they actually are. 

basically, max is your stereotypical Smart Character TM, and like most stereotypes, there’s a lot of wrong information floating around about said character type. 

(just an FYI this is not to say that stereotypes about smart people are in anyway as harmful as stereotypes based on race, gender, sexuality, or neurodivergent people. this is just an examination of what people get wrong with smart characters.)

so, if that’s wrong, and smart people don’t all list facts and percentage probability, and use big words and make robot friends, how can we know a character is smart then?

well, ‘smart’ is a lot more complicated than media, especially kids media, likes to present it as. we’re always led to believe that a character (and thus real life people) are only smart if they excel in STEM subject areas. so smart characters speak in technobabble, are really good at programming and robotics and physics and chemistry, always get the best grades in school, and so on and so forth.

and that’s just not true.

there’s so much more to being smart than maths and ‘hard sciences’ and good grades.

for starters, the grading system used by schools and tertiary education systems is biased towards students who can recall facts aka people with good memories and people who have dozens of spare hours to spend studying.

now, there are tons of reasons for people to have difficulties recalling facts. the first is that memorising things is hard. this goes doubly so for people with memory problems associated with mental illness or neurodivergence or certain disabilities.

on the second point, you might notice that students at private schools (upper-middle to upper class students) tend to have better grades. going off of the ‘better grades = smarter people’ logic that means rich people are smarter than poor people. i shouldn’t have to explain how that’s bad.

(newsflash: it’s also not true. kids from wealthier families don’t have to spend their spare time at work and their parents can afford private tutors and teachers at private schools tend to be held to higher standards.)

as for being good at STEM subjects, i’m going to let you guys in on a little secret. it comes from practice. you don’t have to be naturally gifted in maths to excel at it. being as i call it, STEM brained versus humanities brained, may make some of the concepts easier to understand initially but it’s really not a make-or-break situation.

(the girl in my grade in high school who got the highest marks for advanced maths did so out of hard work alone. she’s very smart, but humanities oriented. my little sister got a state prize for her scores in physics, and let me tell you, maths does not come easy to her.)

so, if it’s not good grades, or being good at STEM, or having robot sidekicks, or speaking technobabble, what does make a character/person smart?

well it’s about the thought process.

questioning, weighing options, using logic to get the most reward with the least risk.

this site here (springhole.net) is an excellent resource for writing and roleplaying and also has a more in-depth walk-through of how smart people and characters work.

smart people and smart characters tend to, you guessed it, use their heads. they pay attention, and often notice details that other people miss. 

all of these things are actually pretty subtle (and we all know the miraculous creators can’t do subtlety) so we’re actually seeing a lot more smart characters in miraculous than we’re being led to believe.

like i said before, most obvious is max. max’s intelligence is frequently shown to us with all the grace of a frying pan to the ear. less obvious but still obvious enough that every corner of the fandom has noticed are marinette and adrien.

i’ll get to marinette in a minute, but for now we’ll talk about adrien.

adrien is, as far as i can recall seeing in canon, stated to get good grades. correct me if i’m wrong of course, but that’s the only thing i can think of to prove adrien as smart. getting good grades is one of the main stereotypes about smart people so check one for adrien.

adrien is also obscenely wealthy and has a controlling father with high expectations so, as far as his grades go, i doubt it’s down to any natural gifts of superior intellect.

like i said before, people with money have access to all the best resources, the best teachers, the best tutors, and of course time. adrien’s days are scheduled by nathalie, and with gabriel’s expectations of perfection i very much doubt she’d be skimping on adrien’s study time.

so, adrien’s good grades: probably not actually an indicator of intelligence, but of practice.

marinette is also stated to get good grades but that alone isn’t the only proof we get of her being smart. marinette is constantly coming up with plans, making things, is clever enough to leave herself a clue in oblivio to get help, as well as figure out that she and adrien were actually superheroes, and she’s proven to have a high level of emotional intelligence (not necessarily an indicator of overall intelligence and more linked to empathy but the point still stands).

marinette’s good grades we’ve seen clearly come from practice, but there are so many other ways she proves herself to be smart.

alya is one character that certainly gets written off as being dumb by the fandom, when actually, i doubt she is.

canon hasn’t done alya or the rest of the characters any favours by doing things like having lila be a pretty average liar, and making alya think chloe was ladybug in lady wifi, but when she and other characters aren’t being dumbed down because that’s the only way the creators know how to make the plot work, she’s actually pretty clever.

alya knows how clumsy marinette can be so she made a copy of the important video of ladybug before showing it to marinette, the ladyblog is really popular so alya’s clearly got an understanding of how to make her writing appealing to an audience, and we see in the ladybug episode that alya takes a methodical approach to try and clear marinette’s name.

so it’s not obvious, and whoever is writing the show needs some serious help to not make everyone look stupid because their villain isn’t competent enough, but alya is smart. we’re just not being led along by the nose and having the fact shoved in our faces.

there are other characters too, nino, nathalie, nathaniel, i’d say juleka and luka too probably but i’m not going to go into them right now.

what i’m trying to say is: smart characters aren’t always obvious and smart people don’t usually look like the smart people in cartoons. there are a lot more smart characters in ml than you probably realise, just like in real life. good at STEM doesn’t equal smart! and if you have to make your usual characters dumb to make your villain/plot point work you’re not as good a writer as you think you are.

#ml #long post #smart characters #smart people #max #max kante #marinette #adrien #alya #ml writers salt #ml salt #springhole dot net #<-- that site #amazing #it's *seriously* an amazing resource #and can help you with real life not just writing #it's socially conscious #uses examples #has random generators #and is simple enough to understand with only basic reading comprehension #it's seriously amazing #i've spent literal entire days on there in a state of fixation

[diamondsandlemons]

Just finished my very slow quarantine rewatch of K-On!. Wanted to write down some of my thoughts and feelings. Several paragraphs under the cut!

I’ll get this out of the way first; the recurring “joke” where Sawako tries to get the light music club to wear sexy outfits is uhhhh terrible, borderline sexual harassment. Luckily they mostly cut that out in the 2nd season, (which is great because otherwise her relationship with them is really nice) and other than that the show is perfect in pretty much every way.

Isn’t it weird how the first season takes place across two years, but the second season (which is twice as long) takes place across only one year? No idea how they pulled that off without it feeling strange, but they totally did.

I love this show so much. It’s great as a “cute girls doing cute things” type of anime, but its also substantially different that others of that type (that I’ve seen). It feels much more real. For one thing there obviously aren't any brightly-colored anime protagonist haircuts, so I guess it is more realistic from a character design standpoint.

But also just, everything... I think the school is based on a real school building, which makes it REALLY stand out from the very generic appearance of most anime schools. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole town is based on a real place actually (if so I bet that's great for the people who live there- remembering my experience watching Steven Universe for the first time and seeing a real place I know quite well translated into animation)

But yeah, there’s just so much detail put into all the backgrounds and character animations. It’s incredibly,,, believable, I guess. It’s pretty timeless too, there’s hardly anything anchoring it a specific time period, so it can be relatable for all time (although, it is kinda funny on the rare occasion things do pop up, like when they literally use tapes to record music...)

And I was thinking about this recently, I think the opening and ending themes are somewhat unique as well. How many other animes have OPs and EDs that are rock songs actually performed by the characters? I mean, it’s catchy pop-rock, so I guess that’s probably not so uncommon (also I know nothing about music genres so this might just be entirely wrong). But I can’t think of many other examples of the characters literally performing the music. And the ending themes are like fully produced music videos! its great. Unfortunately its not diegetic; I don't think any of those songs actually exist in the lore. (and I haven't even mentioned the BGM scores... which are all perfect).

The third OP and ED are my favorite of each, btw (at least thats how I feel atm. I admit it could be because I like just finished watching the show so those are the ones I heard most recently). I love how the third opening is upbeat and energetic like the rest, but in the last 15 seconds it shifts into something slightly more melancholy. Reminding you that K-On! is approaching its end, but you should still feel happy and grateful for the time you spent with it. A nostalgic feeling.

I feel like nostalgia is an important part of the whole show’s tone, actually. (Though again I could be biased on this, I may very well just be nostalgic for when I first watched it (which was while I was in high school)). 

So much time is spent in the episodes approaching the ending focused on what’s going to come next for the Light Music Club; both the characters, who have to figure out where to go to college, and what they want to study, and the club itself, which will (hopefully) live on without them. (Azusa and Sawako-sensei will make sure of that). I can’t help but feel like that’s the point. HTT goofing off in the music room after school was never something that could’ve lasted forever, but for the time it did, it was incredibly impactful. Both the big stuff (live on-stage performances, trip abroad to England, etc.) and the little stuff (tea and cake every day, animal costumes for no reason, etc).

What K-On! is most of all is “comfortable.” That’s what lead me to turn it on again at the beginning of the pandemic, I just wanted something light and cute and comfy. It’s definetly “real” but it’s also “nostolgic.” It’s like what you remember good times feeling like. And since it’s immortalized in animation, it’ll always be that good.

Bonus thoughts:

... ... ...Hey, what happens to Ton-chan after the end of the show??? Hm. I think my headcanon is that he stays in the club room for a year, but then Azusa can’t bear to part with him when she graduates, so she takes him home.

Also its sad to think about, but HTT probably wont keep in touch with Sawako in the long run. I mean, I had some very formative teachers who I liked a lot, but I don’t ever talk to them. or event think about them most of the time. She’ll be fine though, she’ll have the future of the club to worry about. New students constantly cycling in and out with the years. Hopefully.

Mugi is definetly a lesbian, and I greatly appreciate that. (the others are less cut and dry but I’m gonna throw out some guesses. Ritsu is bi preferring men. Mio is ace. Azusa’s also a lesbian. Sawako is bi but she needs to keep a lid on it around high schoolers, as I already mentioned. Yui, I have absolutely no fucking clue)

These girls spend a lot of time at McDonalds.

(I haven’t actually rewatched the movie yet. I plan to do that within the next few days, then after that I may or may not come back to this post and add something, if I have anything new to add! edit: seen the movie, it’s great, better than I remembered actually. but other than that I don’t have much to say. Please go watch k-on if you haven’t already!)

#K-On! #the cut is for length not for spoilers. please go ahead and read this even if you havent seen the show. maybe I'll convince you to watch it! #well I do talk about the ending. but not in much detail. judge the risk yourself I guess

[simply-not-an-egg]

The Next Karate Kid - A Probably Very Opinionated Commentary by Yours Truly

I really am trying to go into this with an open mind; let’s see how this goes.

Starting off with a military band? K sure, you do you sweetie, and I don’t hate it yet so that’s a positive

Aha, a military REUNION, I see. And look at Miyagi with his medal!! Sweet!

So I think if I remember from reading the plot on wikipedia that Miyagi new this guy who was married to the woman he just said hello to

Y’all they got Miyagi’s name wrong. His first name is Nariyoshi not Kesuke. That is his middle name. Although in saying that, I feel like that was more or less revealed in Cobra Kai so idk, anyway, for future reference, Miyagi’s first name is Nariyoshi

Also Louisa Pierce? I assume grandmother of Julie? That would make sense

Ooh we’re in Boston for this, and look at that big white house

Yes, Louisa is grandmother, oh and hello Julie!

Julie is unhappy, a little moody, sweetie are you okay?

Alright so Julie’s an orphan! Why does Miyagi keep picking up either somewhat or completely orphaned children?? I mean, I guess that’s good but also, why?

Ooh yay Miyagi advice about losing parents and grief!

Alright so now Louisa’s gonna fuck off to California while Miyagi takes care of the child

Said child who has now snuck into some place - OH THAT”S RIGHT THE SCHOOL AND THE BIRD

Yes I remember this from wikipedia plot

I like birdy, birdy is nice, and yes Julie talk to birdy, birdy is unjudgemental friend

Now time for the Animal Studies me to take over, that wing is NOT bandaged securly at all. Wing bandages should be wrapped around the wing and on the body, to keep the damaged wing still, thank you very much

Police have come! Julie gonna get arrested, maybe? Unless girl escapes, although that’s evading police then, and now she threw a torch, that’s attempted assault. Idk what it’s like in the USA, but in my state (Queensland, AUS) that’s a $5,500 fine and 50 days in jail (evasion), and a $5,338 - $8,007 fine and 6 - 12 months in jail (police assault, depends on severity)

Have fun in prison, Julie! Oop, nevermind she’s home again

Anyway, I wonder what Daniel’s doing at this time. Wiki says Julie was born in 1977, which is a whole ten years after Daniel, and considering she’s in high school I’d say she’s about 16/17 in this movie, which brings us to like 1993/1994. Perhaps this was around the time he met Amanda, maybe even started dating her? They got married in 1998 (I believe), so it would make sense for that to happen

Bonding moment for Louisa and Julie? No, nevermind

Miyagi’s happy! Love that! He’s going to make special birthday dinner!

Straight of the bat though like the dynamics are so different. Like the moment Daniel ever so much as raises his voice at Miyagi, the dude’s a little disheartened whereas Julie talks shit here and Miyagi’s like “haha, you’re funny, anyway, let’s talk about Japanese cuisine, yes?”

Okay but I LOVE the fucking ‘sayonara’ and dissapointed headshake like, man, Miyagi, legend

This school’s nothing compared to West Valley imo

Alos that little gang? Those coordinated outfits? Do y’all not have a personality? Feel like the Cobras get a win on being comfortable with their own skin whilst also maintaining such a well-formed group

You can see I’m biased, and I’ll probably remain biased, because, two seconds into seeing this Boston group and I’m already dissappointed by the lack of personality. Again, two seconds of Cobras and y’all know you’re in for a ride, and a good one at that

I like the little garden corner that Julie’s at it’s very nice and peaceful

Back to the group, they look like real dickheads. Also, Ned? Shit name for a ‘bad boy’. Also, please stop trying to coerce Julie

I’ve seen this fucker for, what, a minute, if that? And I absolutely hate everything about him. I also don’t like how he sorta just, enters?? Like, at least with the Cobras we knew what their intentions were right off the bat. Here, well, what does Ned want Julie for? Why does he want her with him and his friends? Like, please establish that before anything else

Also why he standing like a Roblox character

The Alpha League? Really? Y’all really tryna be cool with that aren’t ya? Do I smell some toxic masculinity? I think I do?

WHY DOES THAT HIGH SCHOOL DUDE LOOK LIKE HE’S 30 DUDE

Ew I hate that school bell

Please get out of the girl’s bathroom sir

Not the fucking wing bandage again, jesus christ. And shot in the wing?? Y’all really gotta have that shit strapped then, STOP LETTING THE BIRD MOVE HER WING THAT IS GOING TO DAMAGE IT MORE

“I’ll call Dominos Pizza and have them deliver 48 pizzas to your house in the middle of the night” ma’am that is a dream come true, first of all, and second of all, please work on your threats, thank you

Okay but is this military training or phys ed??

Miyagi looks so nice in his checkered shirt! Anyway, I swear that’s like the only thing I love about this movie, Mr Miyagi that is

Teacher just slapped a kid and choked him, alrighty then

Oop and here comes Miyagi, defending kids since 1984!!

Love that. “Boy, you okay?” like just the delivery of this line it’s so neutral I love it

Ah yes, threatening a bastard with a story about a bull, the best

Honestly stan how passive-aggressive Miyagi is at any given time

Yeah okay but honestly it would be better for that bird to be taken away considering that god awful bandaging job

“It’s just a car” EXCUSE YOU JULIE, as a car person myself I take PERSONAL offence to that. That’s not just a car, that’s his child, his other half, his soulmate, his everything, thank you very much

That’s right tell her off for saying that, good lad

On a sidenote; my video quality is shit, like super shit, because I’m streaming on Netflix and there’s a few other people in the house using internet so like, :(

“For a while he was sending money and then one day he just stopped” ah yes, every child of divorced parents can relate to this statement very well

i’m sorry but the music is so cheesy

anyway, i was gonna say that this movie lacks something, and i remembered what it is, and that is love. Like with KK1, 2, and 3, you can tell a lot of love and heart and soul went into making those movies (maybe not as much with 2 and 3, but it was still there and in good amounts). Meanwhile, this just feels like a cashgrab (which it is, and a very failed one at that)

Like, when will people learn that well-crafted media will get you better reviews/more money/whatever? 

I hate this fucking background music so much jesus christ please kill it

Please tell someone about the hawk i am worried for its health

The fact that Miyagi has lived with Daniel so long to a point where he’s forgotten he has to actually knock on doors (because you bet your ass Daniel was and still is the type of person who really just doesn’t give a single fuck about who sees him doing what)

This poor man tbh. So ashamed of himself

FUCKING I WAS RIGHT I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT WHOLE SHIT ABOUT MIYAGI AND DANIEL NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT SEEING EACH OTHER DO WHATEVER AND NOW MIYAGI’S JUST OUTRIGHT CONFIRMED THAT

“Boy is easier” 100% I will agree, hence the reason I’d like sons in the future. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d like at least 1 daughter as well but holy hell are females complicated (and I should know because I am one)

“Don’t order me around” sweetie, he isn’t ordering you, he’s making a helpful suggestion. Please stop the Miyagi slander, my man does NOT deserve this treatment

Miyagi, love you bb, but please don’t waste your advice on Julie at the moment

Speaking of, I greatly dislike Julie, but you know why that is? Because she’s really not been fleshed out as a charater, unlike the others we see in the KKU. Like her one redeeming quality is that she looks after a bird, but even that isn’t redeeming to me because she isn’t caring for it properly, like please take it to a fucking veterinarian

I feel like I’d enjoy Julie more if she was actually fleshed out but like, no, no, she’s just a whole “I’m an orphan so I’m always angsty grr” character and I just - I’m disappointed

Same goes for the other characters; again, the only thing/person I love about this movie so far is Miyagi, and with the way it’s been in these first 25 minutes, I doubt that’ll change

Yeah no I really fucking hate Julie. “You can’t even speak English” she says, even though she has understood every single word Miyagi has said thus far

Ah yes because people can definitely jump on cars and cars can definitely go unnoticed for such a long period of time in a quiet neighbourhood

I honestly feel like giving up on this movie like it’s so bad

But I want to see more Miyagi so 😬

No offence to Hilary Swank but her line delivery could do a bit more work during the ‘emotional scen’ with her and Miyagi

And again, music, hate it

I am literally willing to turn this movie off even if it means I don’t get to see more Miyagi content

Like I can not express my displeasure for this movie enough

Yes, Miyagi, same, I hate the 12am rock concert in Julie’s bedroom to. Like please, gurl, some of us have sleep schedules

Okay so now Julie’s worried about her appearance?? Y’all just made my hatred for her character rise again. When was she ever worried about that? imo this is just put in there to make people remember that she’s still “girl uwu 😙✌”

Haha, yes, pay Miyagi with the homework that’s right

Bet he did that with Daniel after the tournament like “you do homework, I teach karate”

“Boys easier” AGAIN I AGREE SO MUCH MIYAGI

Okay so I’ve sat through 33 minutes of this bullshit and I am going to quit for today. I’m sorry to anyone that does like this movie, but like I really don’t, it sucks in so many ways. Words cannot describe the sheer amount of dissapointment I have for this. Like, it could have been good! The idea is solid and the base of the characters is somewhat okay! And yet they made this shit instead of something actually worthwhile!

I will continue tomorrow, but for now I just need a break from this before I hit something.

#karate kid #the next karate kid #julie pierce #mr miyagi

[comeonthinkers]

The Constant Struggle of Cuteness

I feel like, this morning, I need to talk about body image. Body image, and the constant barrage of conflicting messages around body image that I, as a midsize woman, receive and dissect every day.

First of all: midsize. Was this even a term five years ago? As “plus size” has become more ubiquitous and more accepted in the past decade, “fat” has been reclaimed, and “curvy” is suddenly more of a feeling than a descriptor, the terms I used to identify with as a teenager now, somehow, no longer apply to me anymore. I’m not sure what happened in the past decade; in high school I distinctly remember almost always being the largest woman in the room. Since then, whether it’s due to perception, self-confidence, age, awareness, or just... overall changes in the population, I now find myself distinctly in the middle. 

Note: I’ve been a size 12-16 my entire post-adolescent life. For one brief stint after college I could fit into a size 10. But before and since, 14 has been the mainstay numeral in my wardrobe. My steady friend and most accurate guesstimate across brands as to what my body may fit.

14, despite being the most (so I’m told) “common” size amongst women, was for many years infamous for being the most left-out, in-between size in clothing stores. In juniors’ stores (marketed toward teens: your Charlotte Russe’s and Forever 21′s), 14 would translate to the non-existent XXL: with “XL” usually falling in the “12″ range. In Plus Size or Women’s stores, 14 is a 0X; 1X is most commonly measured around a “16″ size.

About 5 years ago I found a fashion youtuber who made a video decrying the variation of a size 12 across different brands. And I’ll agree: sizes vary a lot from brand to brand, despite there being a base similarity in most big brand stores. She, like me, found herself living in this dreaded size 12-14 fashion purgatory, this no-womans-land of sizes. And even here! The numbers can’t be trusted!

She called herself “midsize”. She looked a lot like me. And at last, I had a label I could consistently search and see body types that I could identify with. From what I can tell, midsize is the chosen moniker for fashion influencers sizes 8-16, with of course, varying body shapes and compositions. For example, many of the folks I follow on instagram that claim “midsize” wear a VERY different bra size from me- so to find “fashion inspiration” I can actually act upon from midsize influencers, I also have to bring in a few accounts that allow for more top-heavy-friendly designs.

Despite all of the overwhelming positivity and diversity now available to me as a midsize woman (for example, almost all plus-size brands now start at a size 10-12 (00X-0X), and most “regular” retail brands now extend to a XXL), I can’t help but go back to my first observation: I’m no longer the largest woman in the room. While I don’t consider myself particularly unhealthy, I also know I’m not passing any presidential fitness tests any time soon. I find it difficult to run for extended periods of time. My joint strength isn’t nearly what it should be to support my weight. While muscular, I have a lot of extraneous body fat that adds strain to my daily life, and all my body’s systems: skeletal, endocrine, muscular, cardiovascular. This isn’t good. I’ve worked for years to try to find ways to get stronger, lose weight, and improve my overall health- in fact, the difficulty I faced when trying to lose weight was what led me to discover that I have PCOS and a few hormonal hurdles to maintaining a healthy body weight.

But when I try to research how best to approach health and weight loss with PCOS, the studies are few and far between- and when available are fairly inconclusive and far from thorough. I’m left to follow MORE accounts of personal success stories, all of which are biased toward one product or another, one lifestyle brand or book tour, all of which are antithetical to every other product, book, or brand I’ve seen before.

On the one hand, I’m grateful to see more body types represented in the media.  It IS helpful to my self-esteem to normalize the bodies of women both my size and larger than me (even if there’s still a prevalence of too-smooth skin and too-round belly buttons). But I also worry about how we tend to conflate feeling good about ourselves to being healthy. They aren’t the same. And we’re letting commercial forces tell us that it’s okay to be unhealthy even when attempting to BE healthy: mentally or physically.

Time to come clean here: for the past year, I’ve been experimenting on and off with a carnivore lifestyle, which, OBVIOUSLY, many people assume is super unhealthy, much like the stigma around Atkins in the early 2000′s. Honestly, it feels a lot like Atkins did back in the day: lots of bacon, burgers, steak, and eggs. Quite literally “zero-carb”, as opposed to just “low-carb”. While low-carb isn’t really new anymore, and many people can see carnivore as a logical step past the surprisingly universally accepted ketogenic diet, I was amazed to discover just how much the “science” of the trendier diets of the past decade (paleo, keto, whole-30) don’t match up to the scientific, accepted nutritional advice of the actual medical community.

Last year I started going to a weight-loss clinic at the behest of my OB-GYN in an attempt to get my PCOS and weight “under control”. I’m gonna spoil most of the rest of this rant by saying this was a pretty dumb idea for someone like me. This clinic was created around those with extreme weight issues, for whom psychological care and bariatric surgery are the most “effective” forms of treatment (again, according to the health care system that seems determined to sell it, but I’ll talk more about THAT another time). The nutritionist I met with gave me the same spiel I’d read time and time again from every weight-loss specialist book I’d bought, despite me relaying to her my decades-long struggle with traditional diets and fat-loss strategies. A ketogenic diet was never recommended to me, nor any kind of actual dietary changes to help with hormone balance/control: I was prescribed metformin (a drug for insulin resistance most commonly prescribed to type 2 diabetics) and told to eat a low-fat, high-fiber diet.

I didn’t lose any weight. My periods didn’t regulate. I just stopped gaining weight as fast... although I did eventually gain back the 12 pounds I’d lost from my first 2 months on carnivore. 

The truth is, that treatment plan, that clinic... it doesn’t exist for someone who is trying to change their body chemistry. It might work for folks that are so obese that literally ANY form of mindful eating will help them lose 200 pounds. But let’s be real: if I lost 200 pounds, I’d weigh 6 pounds. I’m a tall, muscular woman with some fat that has tried all the recommended diets for fat loss. Through them all, I fight cravings and energy loss, mood swings, and all the symptoms that come with PCOS. The ONLY thing I’ve found in the past 10 years that actually helps with my PCOS? 

Regular exercise, stress management, and a carnivore diet. 

I’ll also point out that when I DID lose a considerable amount of weight after college (due to what I think was a combination of 1. getting enough sleep for once, 2. intermittent fasting, and 3. regular hiking), it was also easier for me to maintain my weight and many of my PCOS symptoms went away. It wasn’t until I switched to a HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL method that I then gained back all of the weight I lost (and then some) and once again began fighting uncontrolled PCOS symptoms. They compounded on each other, and made it harder and harder to get back to any kind of “normal”. 

So, I’m back on carnivore. In addition to more stable energy, noticeable reduction of PCOS symptoms, and slight weight loss, I also just... hurt a lot less on carnivore. Along this journey I’ve finally realized that I do in fact have a chronic pain problem. Whether it’s due to chronic inflammation, past injuries, or food sensitivities, I’m not really sure: but I know when I eat carnivore, my chronic pain all but goes away. Recently, I’ve been recovering from a back injury, so there was of course some pain associated with that (as well as a break from regular exercise, which I plan to get back to once I’m cleared by my chiropractor), but the daily body aches, numbness, and discomfort?

Gone. 

I’ve got regular periods when I eat this way- like, ACTUALLY one a month like I’m supposed to have. My facial hair growth slows down, even thins out. My focus improves. I sleep better, and actually follow a normal circadian rhythm. What’s total bananas is that I’m not the only one who experiences this: MANY folks who’ve tried this way of eating report daily quality of life improvements.

I’m not going to say everyone should eat this way; I’m not even going to suggest that everyone with PCOS should eat this way. But I WOULD love to see some actual RESEARCH done on this way of eating- or even better research on a ketogenic diet! I’m so frustrated by the lack of medical research on nutrition, and in particular the lack of action to curb the universally-accepted-to-be-unhealthy nutrition standards in America. While I won’t say it’s hard to eat carnivore (cause like, all diets are hard), I have noticed over the years that NO ONE IN OUR COUNTRY IS HEALTHY anymore- except for those whose JOB it is to be healthy. And this isn’t a coincidence!! Almost all cultures that have adopted American corporatized food structures are chronically unhealthy, and much, much more fat than they used to be.

I agree that being fat isn’t always a personal failing, and I’m so, SO glad that more and more figures in our media diets are representing the diverse catalogue of body shapes and sizes reflected in our world. I’m happy that my future daughter won’t be fat-shamed the same way I was as a little girl, and that she likely won’t be told (like I was) that she’s too fat to be what she wants to be when she grows up, despite not actually being all that fat. 

BUT. Fat representation is not the hill I want to literally die on. I’m not willing to throw my health, my comfort, my ability to be active, away for my “right” to eat ice cream every day. I’m sick of being marketed to constantly as a garbage disposal. I’m not just here to eat and diet and wear clothes.

I’m here to LIVE. I’m here to plant gardens and make art and take walks and enjoy the seasons. And I can’t do a lot of those things if I’m constantly sick and in pain. And it’s way harder to enjoy not being sick and not being in pain when all we know to do as a society when spending time together is... eat food. 

What frustrates me is, I think so much of this really comes down to marketing, corporate profit-mongering, and the way our political system is set up to make laws for companies instead of people. I think capitalism is making us fat and unhealthy, to sell us sugar and diets and medicine and surgeries in an endless cycle of crap. I don’t really have much more to say on that, I don’t have sources, except like... well, look around you. Look at the system we have. Look at what we’re told to do to escape it. And look at how many forces are there to take us right back to the beginning of the roller coaster when we have a little success. 

Side note/conspiracy theory time: I actually think liposuction might be a more safe and effective (literally EFFECTIVE not just safe) form of “weight loss surgery” in helping folks with actual, permanent weight loss. Hear me out: while I will fully admit I can’t remember where I read any of this (as I’ve read so many scores of information regarding health and weight loss over my lifetime), I seem to remember body fat working something like this: it’s really easy for your body to make new fat cells, but very difficult for your body to destroy them. So, when you gain fat, it first occurs by your body filling your fat cells with fat, until they can’t hold anymore, and then your body makes new fat cells, which makes it easier for your body to hold onto said fat. The best way to “reset” your body’s fat threshold is to literally destroy or remove the fat cells. And, I assume, if you adopt more healthy habits AFTER having liposuction, your body would be less likely to create more fat cells than it was when you lived an unhealthy lifestyle.

Bariatric surgery is incredibly invasive and dangerous, and almost always ends up reversed by bad habits and your body’s natural ability to STORE FAT AND STRETCH YOUR STOMACH. It’s a temporary solution, and often proves to be ineffective in the long term, and leads to many unfortunate complications over time, not to mention the recovery from that surgery is LONG and TOUGH.

But liposuction (the most COMMON FORM OF PLASTIC SURGERY, I’ll add), is the only “weight loss” procedure (despite not being labeled as such- it’s “cosmetic surgery” even though it most definitely WOULD result in weight loss, right?) that actually removes fat from your body. Literally takes the fat cells away so your body can’t fill them up again, without once again needing to create more.

But bariatric surgery is covered by insurance, and liposuction isn’t... despite the fact that removing weight and fat from the body would be a more instant and potentially effective cure for obesity and its underlying symptoms, and being a simpler procedure overall, as well as extremely common. 

So like... why is being fat something poor people are forced to endure dangerous surgery and super long recoveries and lifetime habit changes to overcome, but rich people just get to have their fat vacuumed away? Sounds sus to me. 

[hedgefairy]

Well hello there. While I'm waiting for that breeches video I've been talking about to finally upload, here's

Bridgerton, Episode 4

Phew, half time!

If you've missed the other ones, the tag is Bridgerbore, btw.

Okay, so we start of with Dukey who's going home-ish because drama and heartbreak in the last episode. Stop pretending, nobody takes your pouting seriously! We all know it's twu wuv!

Erm. So, I know, I'm white and this is a delicate matter, but I gotta say I'm not super happy about the whole POC-justifying explanation here. I'd much rather have no explanation at all, it worked perfectly well in Merlin, and this is just as much historically inspired fantasy just with less magic, which I'm honestly quite upset about. I'd be far more okayer with the costumes and overall ugh-ness if there was magic.

But honestly, I'm not a fan of shoehorning that explanation in (it doesn't seem to come up in the books, either, where everyone is basically a baguette in terms of whiteness). The fact that the implications aren't discussed any further makes it even worse. We're talking about the British empire here, and while POC are apparently part of the society (but with more pressure, which... no, this is not how nobility works) the wealth and luxury of this age still stems from the exploitation of POC everywhere else. How isn't there a revolution going on? How is this not talked about? From all I see, Bridgerton is a fluffy, pastel, nice alternate version of the 1800s, and I don't get why anyone would put politics in there instead of just doing what TV tropes refers to as "colourblind casting" and be done with it. Either you do the alternate history thing thoroughly, or you just cast people for being pretty (and maybe good actors) instead of the idea the audience might have about a character's skin colour and have weird costumes and just roll with it.

Also the Queen's marriage seems to suck. I would have liked a deeper, more heartbreaking connection between George III and her, especially because I saw how my Grandmother suffered when she gradually lost my Grandfather to dementia, and it would have been a scene where we could see Charlotte as a person rather than a weird plot device in tafetta and bling, but no, she just seems as annoyed and bored and snappish as ever.

This is getting far too serious. Where's the snark?

We get some Tchaikovsky in the background, which is weird, tbh. Yes, I'm perfectly fine with them covering Top 40s hits and using waltzes from the 1950s, but I draw the line at something from the second half of the 19th century! It's not right! It screams its time of origin all over the place, and even worse, most of the characters would probably actually get to hear it later in their lives, it's not a decent anachronism, it just feels like bad research! This is serious business!

No really, where's the snark?

Oooh, I get it now. That was when I was really, really done with bingeing this show. Yes, I tried to get through as much of it as possible in one sitting. The notes read, in very shaky handwriting

I cannot possibly take more than that

in one day

, so let's continue a few days later when I felt like I could muster the courage to face it again.

So yes, I'm pretty sure this waltz is to young for this show.

Aww, look at that, flirting over cheese! I also like that one of the Featherington girls (I can't really tell the non-Pennys apart) has a suitor, they deserve nice things, too.

The musicians are a mood.

WTF with the hair and the strass. We don't like the strass. Make it go away.

I love Prince Freddy. The poor boy. It's doomed from the start!

Ah, Dukey (also at the ball, even though he was whining about things earlier) gets a heartbeat in the background, because twu wuv.

Middle Bridgerbro goes and meets with the Bohéme. I want more of that! That's finally interesting! That's my people! There's a cool bohemian lady with a pretty dress! People look interesting! Aaaah!

There's a random 18th century burlesque singer at this Regency ball, we need to talk about this. Oooh, it's Opera Girl! Cue Lord B turning into even more of an idiot while Ma Bridgerton tries to hook him up otherwise.

Of course Philippa (that's one of the Featherington Girls) can't possibly have anything nice. Thanks, Dad. You don't get to marry someone you like, that's the people across the street's thing! (by which I of course mean the Bridgertons, just in case anyone forgot the location layout here.)

Eloise is being weird to the housekeeper.

"Are you not supposed to be the smart one", the housekeeper retorts and I'm feeling it, followed by a "WTH, hero" about how servants are too busy to be Gossip Girl, you privileged prat. I think I actually snorted.

Penny gossips with Ducktail Colin, but he's more interested in Cousin, whose dress looks like it was made from the cheap curtains my ex best friend had in his first semester at uni, and God, I hate Daphne's kerchief.

Poor Prince Freddie is trying to propose to Protagonis Girl but of course there's Dukey in the background so she simply must run outside as dramatically as possible where he can find her as she equally dramatically rips the necklace Freddie gave her from her milky white throat. P&P-ish banter ensues. Yawn.

Dukey: * broods *

Daphne: * dramatically exits *

Dukey: * romantically follows her*, and oooh, snogging ensues, oooooh, instant second base, but Bridgerbro the Eldest (known also as Lord B) intervenes.

Lord B: "Marry her!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "Bitch!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "I want satisfaction!"

Me: "Don't we all"

Daphne: "You'd rather die than marry me?!"

(the fuck with her hair)

Middle Bridgerbro is still at the Bohéme-party, and still draws (naked people!). Gay vibes ensue, it's cute. This is Netflix after all, and it took four episodes to get some LGBTQ+ representation!

The Featherington's housekeeper looks a lot like O'Brien from Downton.

Cousin tells Penny about what a cutie Ducktail Colin is, also Penny's "night gown" is really cute (it's not a night gown. She's still wearing stays. It's also the only thing in the whole series that fits her well so far). Penny is super upset but gets interrupted by a hyperfocused Eloise. They fight, and Penny goes on about being mature and not being a "pretty Bridgerton", and that Eloise wouldn't understand. I get her, though, and really, having a perfect family and a "bad" family is such lazy writing.

Somber blah blah between Lord B and Daphne happens and Middle Bridgerbro gets dragged into it. He's informed that his life is pretty much over either way (either way being Lord B dying or being exiled for killing Dukey in the scheduled duel) because his oder bro basically just wants out of his duties. Sucks to be him.

Boxing Bro has to host a frustrated, possibly blueballed Dukey and offers himself up as a second for the duel.

Lord B goes and pleads with Opera Girl to get back with him (doooooon't) because of his little duelling plot and of course intercourse ensues. Girl, where's your self-respect?

Lord F comes into his dark study (we haven't seen much of him yet overall, he probably was too busy gambling) and hark, there's Lady F like the mafia boss I feel she should be, wo berates him about said gambling and that they're broke and how much he sucks. He starts crying, thumbs up for male vulnerability!, but it's kinda played for laughs via her awkward patting of him. Because of course (and I bet the late Daddy Bridgerton would never have lost his composure like that, but he didn't gamble, either, and these are the Featheringtons)

Lord B leaves Opera Girl for THE DUEL (I feel like this almost deserves a ™ by now).

We get gallopping horses! The drama! The panache! Daphne asks Ducktail Colin where it's going down because she wants to stop them, insert pandering feminist ranting about her choosing her own life but I don't really feel it and I wonde where her bangs go when she sleeps because her hair looks so different all of a sudden.

Lord B makes Middle Bridgerbro promise to care for Opera Girl in case he dies.

More gallopping horses! Daphne and her billowing cloak are pretty epic, to be honest, and there's Ducktail Colin on her heels. It's basically a family outing now!

Ugh, I like the seconds in this duel so much more. They should just off and go for a pint or something and leave Lord B and Dukey to their misery.

Duelling protocol ensues. Ten steps, blah blah, nice camera work, though.

Daphne full on rides into her brother's bullet, but she's fine (it would have been so dramatic, can you imagine? It would have been interesting!).

Oh no, they were seen (by her romantic rival, back when they had the dramatic make-outery in the park at the ball after the botched proposal. Sorry, Cressida is such a much better name than Daaaaphneeee. I have a RPG character called Cressida, I might be biased.), she's ruined if they don't marry!. and so she is basically emotionally blackmailing him into marrying her. But he can "never give [her] children!", and goes on how she deserves a household full of love like her family home because the Bridgertons are such a perfect family. God, they all annoy me so much.

Daphne ends the duel by saying that the Duke and her are to be married, with a pained facial expression, no less. I think I just wanna throw a pie in her face or something.

And that concludes Episode 4. That was a long one! Only four more to go! So this is

To be Continued!

Thank you for making it this far with me!

[asd-n-me]

1/?Ramble warning: so my mom is a psychologist and I asked to borrow her copy of the DSM 5. Then she my sister and I spent a while talking about us as kids and a lot of the traits of an aspergers diagnosis came up (advanced vocabulary, increased childhood independence, early walking/speaking, high intelligence, even a special interest in the form of my younger sister for me as a kid) and I’m sitting downstairs at my table looking at the DSM and noting everything in it that I fit on a post it

2/? and she comes down and can’t read my tiny notes without her reading glasses thank goodness and asks what I’m looking at and I actually tell her autism and then mention a tv character that started me looking into it(which is true,but it’s become a special interest now)and I was taking to her about it. And she was very limited in her views and understanding of it (which makes some sense because she never worked with autistic people) and It hurt even though she doesn’t know that it’s likely

Hi it’s Emi again. I want to apologize for that ramble. Also wow stimming is so helpful. I kinda just ended up with a pacing and turn rhythm and was just stimming for 15 minutes and I’m feeling better about it now. Still a little anxious but I’m okay. You don’t have to post the other ones. I think I show up too much on your blog already. Anyway thank you for reading. Have a great day :)

____________________________________

Hi Emi, you don’t have to worry about showing up on my blog too much, I should pace posts better than I currently try to. I enjoy seeing you pop up in my asks. I was actually considering going back through my asks and giving you your own ask tag. :)

A lot of psychologists have a very narrow views of autism and limited exposure to it. They also have a tendency to feel because of their psychology background they are educated enough and will be resistant to alternate facts. I can only imagine the difficulty of having one as your parent. 

Not to call out real life people, but one of the most esteemed “experts” on aspergers didn’t even see it in his son until he was an adult. And that was someone who made their life studying it. 

Don’t feel discouraged by your mothers lack of support on the subject, not only is it 1. psychologists often have limited views of autism 2. many psychologists actually have very basic diagnostic training period (which seems very backwards but hey?) 3. As she is your mother her view as a psychologist is actually less accurate and more biased. 

Stimming is SO helpful indeed friend! And for people who may have stifled their natural stimming habits it’s really something great to get back into touch with! Stimming, physical activity, etc are all great ways to emotionally regulate yourself so I encourage you to continue! 

I really hope you keep compiling a list of your early childhood traits, and aren’t put off by other people. It will likely be a bumpy road for you but it will be worth it. Once you have all your experiences (or a good deal of them) written out both past and present, you should collect lots of good articles on autism in girls and alternate symptoms. 

My father is quite critical and some of the best ones that helped convince him was an article on camoflauging, as well as a couple videos about girls n asd. :) 

I wish you the best of luck friend I really enjoy hearing in from you and your process and how you’re doing! Have a super day!

#autistic asks #autistic feels #autistic girl

[freckledskittles]

104th SSBU Mains

In the midst of playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate and the trailer for the second half of SNK’s third season, this heap of crap came out of nowhere and now it’s the only thing I can think about

I don’t know a lot about some of these series so please excuse me for any mistakes or inaccuracies!

x-x-x

Eren: Roy. He got into Fire Emblem when he first played SSB:Melee, and he fell in love with that red-haired boy. When he plays Ultimate, Eren is less likely to stick to one character (his argument is that “everyone is good and I love all of them DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE”), but when he has to, he knows his boy Roy is there for him. Alternatives are Ryu, Mega Man, and Zelda, which, in his mind, if you’re going to play anyone, they’re the best options.

Fun fact: half of the reason he plays Ryu is to bug Armin to be Ken since “they’re best friends and we’re best friends and you look like Ken.” Same for Simon and Richter.

Mikasa: Young Link. LOZ is her favorite video game series by far (Majora’s Mask is her favorite hmu about Mikasa headcanons I love her) and when she heard he was coming back to Smash, she was sold on him before the game was out. She likes any Link, but Young Link has a charm and holds a lot of nostalgia for her. And she likes how he's the only one of the Link trio to have fire arrows. Alternatives are Yoshi (somewhat for the IRS meme but mostly for her fave green dinosaur), Mewtwo for the Pokemon representation, and Samus. Nothing beats an “I’m strong” catchphrase than the first female video game protag.

Armin: Mega Man. Of the video game series he’s gotten into, Legend of Zelda and Mega Man are the ones he’s most loyal too. For Ultimate, he’s more into the mini easter eggs that Mega Man’s moves give to other characters in the franchise than winning the game, and will probably play the single player modes the most, but he doesn’t mind fighting his friends. Alternatives include Pit, Pikachu and Falco; he doesn’t know much about Falco or Pit, except what he’s heard from everyone else, but it’s better than giving into Eren’s whim to play as Simon or Ken.

Jean: Ike. He grew up on that good old GameCube system, so of course he’d go to Ike, whose first game was for GC. He won’t admit it out loud, because he’s a Cool Guy™, but RPGs are near and dear to this boy’s heart. And what better way to share that love than with a blue-haired boy with a big ass sword? Also, he’s pretty good at Smash? So whatever smack talk he has is actually backed by some type of skill and experience. Alternative mains are Zelda, Young Link, and Pichu, all which took a very deep study of each character to develop. It was a serious decision.

Marco: Link. Like Armin, he has limited experience in videogame knowledge, and he’s just here to play with some characters and sass his friends. Link is the one he knows best, and the BOTW design is really pleasing to him. He’s really not here to win or show off how good he is cough cough Erejean. He just wants to have fun! And will do so in ways that make everyone regret handing him the controller, but he doesn’t know that. (Ridley just came out how the hell has he already mastered him?) Alternatives are Ness for the baseball references, Kirby for the deceit, and Marth for a cute blue-haired boy.

Fun fact: it’s a running joke among the 104th nerds that Ness’s design was inspired by Marco, and just to play into the joke, Marco has learned how to imitate Ness’s voice perfectly. For shits and giggles, he’ll spam the “okay” taunt if he’s doing better.

Sasha: Kirby. A classic, in her opinion, and the most versatile character since he can get the move of any player he inhales. There’s nothing more terrifying than a smiling pink glob hitting you with a hammer and nothing will change her mind. She put in so many hours to Kirby’s GBA and DS games when she was a kid that she can’t not play as him. Alternatives are Toon Link and Luigi for the GameCube nods, and Daisy. She makes up for losses by whispering “hi I’m Daisy” under her breath. It has a 95% chance of making them laugh.

Fun fact: the 104th buds have enforced a ban on Sasha’s Luigi when they’re playing together. He is too strong for mortal minds to comprehend.

Connie: Diddy Kong. The peanut gun really sold it for him, and he loves that Donkey Kong being the big goof that he is has a tiny sidekick like Diddy. He’s not here to win or compete seriously—he just wants to have fun. And that fun requires shooting peanuts and slapping opponents with his tail, but he’s not keeping track. Alternatives are Snake for laughs, Villager for the Look Of Death from that one skin (you know which one), and Peach. If he and Sasha are on a team, it’s a nightmare of hip bumps and golf clubs. If they’re facing off, No One Is Safe.

Reiner: Samus. As a kid, his mom wanted him to get into video games that were “safe for the kids” and so there was a bit of a limit to what he could play. But Metroid was something she okayed, and the series now has a special place in his heart. Samus is amazing to him? A bounty hunter in space who fights a giant dinosaur and is also a woman? He’s proud of that. Alternatives include Donkey Kong (more to play with Connie than anything else, really), Mario, and Olimar. Pikmin was another series he was able to play; if he had to choose, the white Pikmin are his favorite.

Bertholdt: Olimar. Sorta like Reiner, his video game knowledge is limited, but more by choice than anything. His knowledge stems from friends and his brothers playing DS games. (Their favorite is Spirit Tracks hmu about Bert headcanons I love him.) He chose Olimar, who he recognizes thanks to Reiner, but also because he looks like he is waaay out of his element. Which is how Bert feels 98% of the time. Alternatives are Marth, Shulk, and Pit; he didn’t choose them until he played at least some of their main games. (Which he did end up doing and enjoyed them all.)

Annie: Incineroar. She’s a Pokemon girl when no one’s watching, and that asshole cat pulling a clothesline on stage is exactly why she’s playing the game. She didn’t choose Litten when she played Sun/Moon (Rowlet is her dear round boy), but by god if she’s not going to take her chance. She was skeptical of Incineroar at his release but once she played him, she was a fan. The stone-like facade she wears playing him doesn’t help either—it’s win or death. Alternatives are King K. Rool, Zelda, and Ridley. She makes heavy characters look easy and the 104th does not appreciate it.

Ymir: Little Mac. A 5′7″ boxer from the Bronx is squaring up to fight a fire-breathing dragon, an anthropomorphic hedgehog, and a pink blob that wants to put her to sleep. It doesn’t matter—he’s here to beat everyone up and he won’t stop until he wins. She may be biased (modern au headcanon that she’s from the Bronx what up) which some will allege is her reason for picking Little Mac, but that’s just slander to her. Alternatives include Mega Man (after so many years of not having that iconic blue boy), Chrom (“that’s an ugly ass tattoo put some sleeves on”), and Sheik.

Fun fact: it takes every bit of her lesbian heart to not choose the girls because the 104th knows her attraction to long blonde hair and is waiting for her to do it. And sometimes, you need Peach to shut them up.

Historia: Marth. He’s a royal blue boy! Look at how pretty! Soft headcanon that Historia likes fighting games and RPGs because hello punching bad guys and using sword to battle evil? Yes please she wants that. She’ll distract everyone with praises of her character and “how beautiful” they are while attacking the 104th with every chance she gets. She’s here to win, and when she will, she just smiles and says “don’t worry we’re all winners.” But everyone knows who the One True Winner is. Alternatives are Ryu, Zero Suit Samus, and Pichu. When she chooses Pichu, the 104th buds know the game is over.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #headcanon #snk headcanons #aka my trash pile #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirstein #marco bodt #sasha braus #connie springer #reiner braun #bertholdt hoover #annie leonhardt #ymir #historia reiss #ssbu #they just wanna have fun and beat each other mercilessly #is that too much to ask

[laetro]

Ritaban Das: Storyboarding for Effective Storytelling

Character designer, illustrator and storyboard artist, Ritaban Das, elaborates on the significance of storyboarding to effectively tell a story and thus also shares insights from his decade-long experience in animation.

Ritaban Das is a character designer, storyboard artist and illustrator working in the animation industry for the last decade. He’s worked on a wide range of national and international 2D and 3D animated projects for platforms like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Pogo. Recently, he shifted to Toronto, Canada for higher studies, looking to contribute his skills to the Canadian animation industry. He hopes to someday work on his own animated show.

ORDER A CUSTOM ILLUSTRATION

Q. How do you differentiate your approach between the roles of character designer, storyboard artist and illustrator?

Ritaban Das: At the end of the day it’s all interconnected; it all comes down to ‘story’. When I design a character, I start by thinking about what kind of personality the character has and their role in the story. I think about what I’m trying to communicate through the illustration. This helps me to figure out poses and expressions. As I’m drawing, I’m thinking about shapes, proportions and appeal. I also think about the composition of the illustration. When I make storyboards, I’m telling a story in motion by acting out the characters in them.

Q. What have been the greatest lessons you’ve learnt professionally and personally in your ten years of experience?

Ritaban Das: Draw what you like and the rest will fall into place. Only you know what motivates you.

Q. How did you find your calling to be an artist and, thereafter, how did you nurture your skills to hone your craft?

Ritaban Das: I’ve been drawing for as long as I remember and I’m always very passionate about it. To be very honest, I sucked at studies and my parents knew that very well. I remember spending most of my time with a box of chalk and slate gifted to me by my father. Like every other child, I also loved to sketch my favourite cartoons. I usually sketched these animated characters on the back pages of all my notebooks and also my classmates’ notebooks. It made me known amongst my seniors for my sketches.

That’s the only thing I was good at which I followed blindly. Honing my craft came from lots of practice. I draw almost every day. I also follow and study other artists’ work. Reading or watching their interviews, where they describe their work processes and the likes, helped me a lot to grow as an artist over the years. I try to open my eyes and ears to absorb everything.

Q. Could you take us through your process of how you envision a character and then execute it practically?

Ritaban Das: Being a Character Designer, most of my work is very much character-driven, blended with humour and very graphical too. I always try to convey some sort of story through every character or Illustration I make. I like to play with various shapes and silhouettes and usually keep things simple.

The character design process is, in a way, a combination of different things. I ask myself ‘Who am I drawing? What is his/her personality?’ I sometimes look at influential artists’ work to get some ideas or even start from a drawing I like and translate it into my style. Then, trying to forget those influences, I often start from scratch with a basic shape such as the face as it determines the rest of the character for me, then the body (this can be a circle, oval or even a pear shape – it all depends on the personality of the character I want to draw).

Q. Could you please elaborate on your current pursuit of higher studies and how you came to choose Canada for it?

Ritaban: I completed my studies at Humber College in 3D modelling & VFX and Graphic Design and got a job in an animation studio called House of Cool as a Story artist. I’m working on a very exciting project which will probably start airing next year.

I’ve always been well aware of the Canadian animation industry from the beginning and the kind of projects they do. I worked on a bunch of Canadian animation projects back in India.

We used to do a lot of outsourcing for studios here like Big Jump and Brown Bag Films. Canada’s animation industry always attracted me in terms of work culture, the kind of content they nurture, and the quality they produce, so I want to be a part of it.

“Whether you’re working on a commercial TV spot, web video or film, storyboards are an effective way to quickly tell a story. “

Q. What about the world of animation draws you towards it?

Ritaban: Animation is important because it enables us to tell stories and communicate emotions and ideas in a unique, easy-to-perceive way that both children and adults can understand. Animation has helped connect people throughout the world in a way that sometimes writing and live-action films cannot.

Today, anyone can pick up a drawing tablet and show their ideas to the world. Drawn figures can be funny, sad or serious. It can have a playful, less intimidating feel to it to make the viewer feel more comfortable. Often, it has simply served as a way to make a heart-warming story that makes you think.

Through live-action movies, people can form biases based on the appearance and real-life personality of an actor playing a character. But as an animated character, the character feels like their own being.

Q. What would you say are the most challenging aspects of working in the animation world and how do you tackle them?

Ritaban: Every project is challenging in different ways. The challenging ones are the projects where clients don’t have a clear understanding of their audience and outcome, goals or don’t have an investment or hierarchy for arriving at a consensus on feedback. The most challenging projects always boil down to size and scope and managing a team to produce the animation. Also, animating subject matter that I’m not interested in is challenging. But at the end of the day, we all survive because we all just love what we do.

Q. Could you take us through your process of creating a storyboard and highlight its most important aspects?

Ritaban: Whether you’re working on a commercial TV spot, web video, or film, storyboards are an effective way to quickly tell a story. A storyboard is a sequence of drawings that represent the shots planned for video production. It covers all of the major shots, angles and action of your film. The very first step is to read your script and visualise it as an audience would. As I go from scene to scene, I analyse the screenplay and decide how I want each scene to look.

A script breakdown tells you what storyboards you need to create. Then I start doing the rough thumbnails with all the necessary camera angles in Photoshop and chalk out the entire scene I’m planning to do. The important thing is to give anyone who looks at the storyboard a sense of space — where are the objects in relation to the space they’re standing in.

Once I finish locking the scene on thumbnail level, I pitch it to my art director or creative director and take their feedback. After passing the thumbnail phase, I start making the rough staging in Storyboard Pro and work on the required actions and move forward with the scene for the final animation. I might have to rework scenes over and over, combining different elements of the iterations until I finally have what the team is looking for.

Q. What ways do you apply to understand client needs better and thereby produce results that are in sync with them?

Ritaban Das : Whether I work in any studio or as a freelancer, I always listen to what clients need. Listening to your client will help you understand and retain the information you’re already receiving, even if it isn’t a formal meeting. You need to ask questions to identify needs and paraphrase what they say. It helps with clarification and to enhance your understanding of their needs.

Also, I bring new ideas to the table. I don’t hesitate to propose something other than what the client had in mind. You may have a better service in mind and, if nothing else, this again shows you’re listening and attempting to understand your client’s needs. Understanding client needs is one of the biggest challenges of any business but also one of the most important and rewarding tasks.

Q. Considering your range of work, could you please elaborate on significant projects and clients you’ve worked for?

Ritaban Das: Over the ten years of my career, I’ve worked on various national and international projects back in India for clients like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Pogo. I’ve been part of the projects like “Camp WWE”, “F is for Family,” “Kuu Kuu Harajuku,” “Evan the Epic,” “Penn Zero: Part-time Hero,” “DC Superhero Girls,” “Cloudy with a chance of meatballs” (series), “Rhythm Warriors” (series-in production) and other numerous animated TV shows.

Q. According to you, in what direction should animation be exploring and progressing now?

Ritaban Das: Animation is an incredibly versatile medium that is widely used in many different forms today. Animated films are big business nowadays. Companies such as Disney have had enormous success producing animated children’s films for many years. Animated characters such as The Simpsons and The Flintstones have long been familiar visitors to our television screens. The future of animation looks to be on an interesting journey as the quality of films is becoming higher and higher. Most people would now aim for a 4k film. Also, they’ve been experimenting and coming up with new techniques of animation.

One of the interesting ones is Mix Media, a technique that Disney has been experimenting with for a few years is mixing CGI and traditional 2D animation. The idea is to create an animated film using CGI and then to draw over each frame to give it a hand-drawn quality. The computer gaming industry is also pushing the boundaries of what is possible with animation, leading to the creation of some extremely realistic game footage. Computer game animation has certainly come a long way from the 2D graphics of early arcade games.

Now computer game animators can build environments and objects that react to the player’s actions. The animation looks set to continue delighting audiences for many years to come. With animated films continuing to rise in the blockbuster charts, capturing hearts and imaginations, there is no sign of this genre coming to an end.

#Ritaban Das #Laetro #Art #arts #digital art #artist

[duckling-duck-duck]

Midnight Sun Review, Chapter 1: First Sight (Why am I doing this?)

Hello people and welcome to my side blog specifically dedicated to my thoughts, feeling and opinions on Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer. It’s not like I have anything better to do at the moment (studying for exams, a semester to prepare for, friendships to cultivate) so let’s get to it!

Before I get started on informing you of said thoughts, feelings and opinions, here are a few disclaimers and other things you should probably know to follow my thought process and that will likely have an influence both on my reading experience and view of this book. For my inspiration for this undertaking, you all can thank both Hannah Lee Kidder for her excellent rewrites of the first book on YouTube (she is awesome, go check her out) and Strange Aeons for her video review of Midnight Sun, which I would also highly recommend.

When I heard that Stephenie Meyer (from now on referred to as SM, yes) finally was going to publish this mysterious thing that was circulating when I was barely a teenager and just starting my Twilight phase, and still seriously interested in the books, I was both over the moon and very apprehensive. And I knew immediately that I was going to buy and read it, no matter how bad or good it was going to be.

This YA fiction series was a huge part of my early formative years. At the time when I first read it, I was still too young to thoroughly grasp some of the more problematic concepts of the story, which has since changed. It got me into vampires, to an obsessive and, frankly, unhealthy amount. I subsequently read literature that was NOT for the eyes of a thirteen-year-old at the time and at the same time much worse fanfiction.

Another probably important thing is that I did not read the original Twilight series in English, but rather in German, which means that some things I may remember differently due to translation. I included this because the way Germans translate English in books is atrocious. I have never re-read the books after I read them for the first time, only watched the movies a couple of times since, mostly to make fun of them, this time in English. When the fourth movie came out, I was already mostly over Twilight again and just went to the theatre with my best friend for the hell of it. The only characters I was invested in at this point were the side characters, like Jasper, Rosalie, Leah Clearwater and, basically, anyone and everyone that wasn’t Edward, Bella and Jacob (mostly because everyone else had a much more compelling storyline). So please bear that in mind when I rip into this book. I will also probably be biased in favour of these characters.

This brings me to my last but probably the most important point: I had no interest in Edward and Bella and mostly wanted to know what kind of mess they ended up in this time. I made fun of them a lot. The older I got, the more of the unhealthy tendencies I recognized. So, this is my official warning for everyone who is genuinely interested in this book and wants to read it for fun and came across this post by accident: It will not be nice. I will probably not be kind. I like sarcasm and am not afraid to utilize it to get across exactly how dumb, deranged or practically pointless I think something is. I like to think I can give credit where it is due, but this is probably not the blog or post for you.

I will include trigger warnings if necessary, but if I miss anything please do not hesitate to let me know and/or stop reading immediately if it makes you uncomfortable. I am open to discussion and criticism, but please remain civil. And now that introduction has gone on for far too long, so please enjoy.

Chapter Summary: What happened?

We start with Edward in class having an existential crisis which seems to be his default state. He comments on his siblings, reducing them to absolute tropes which anyone who has read the original series later knows is not at all what and/or who they are. Practically anyone is more interesting than him, though that is not a high bar. Then we have lunch period (still wild you have that) where everyone else is thinking of the new girl who is still nothing amazing to him. Edward spews some vapid comments about everyone else in school (the word “children” comes to mind and is frequently used) and is very amused that particularly the female population, except for Angela, seems to be interested in him. After that, we get the famous biology scene from a whole other point of view and boy is it enjoyable! We end the chapter with Edward going to Alaska because otherwise he may or may not break into Charlie’s house to kill the daughter of the chief of police. (I rewrote this summary like, five times and still cannot make it less sarcastic. I apologize.) (#sorrynotsorry)

Warnings: Swearing, a lot. Explicit language. Too many parentheses. Slight description of violence. A lot of talk about murder.

It took me two evenings getting through this first chapter (25 pages total) and I am not going to lie: On the first one, I barely managed to make it 5 pages in before I had to stop and lie down and mentally prepare myself for the things that were to come. And lord, did they come!

If you thought being stuck in Bella’s mind was exhausting, welcome to a new level of it. Because Edward is even more self-deprecating than she is. He literally describes his basically vegetative state as purgatory because high school is just that boring. Granted, it sometimes is, but why even is he in high school then? As mentioned later he has 2 doctorate degrees. Could you just not go to university and study something that you haven’t learned yet? If Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper can pass as seniors (and you have to excuse me, but I know practically nothing of the American school system) then I am sure you can pull some kind of ‘gifted’ scheme to put Edward in either advanced classes or have him skip a few years. And fake a High School diploma. Another question: if he has two doctorates, why doesn’t he do something with them? You could apply your mind and focus on other things, like research, furthering humanity, curing cancer! (On that note: why has Carlisle not tried to do that? Just because you need to fly under the radar? There has got to be something you can do, both with your excessive money and apparently brilliant mind, that would benefit all of humanity that you so desperately try not to hurt. And if not personally, you can damn-well fund it or nudge someone in the right direction.)

But this doesn’t just tell us that Edward is bored out of his mind, it also tells us that he is probably unhappy with his non-life as well. In the first four sentences, we have already set the tone for the entire novel and I am contemplating a descent into alcoholism. It is gonna be excruciating to follow this dude’s mind for 756 pages because that is 755 pages too long. His entire existence revolves around making Carlisle proud and proving he still retains some of his humanity. While he sometimes talks about the love he has for his siblings, that seems more of a farce he upholds for his adoptive father (read: god) and mother, which in her case is more of a ‘can’t deal with her disappointed look’ (we all know the one), because besides Alice his opinion of them is basically ‘couldn’t be bothered to give a shit’.

(I wanted to use a gif of her but this was the first thing that popped up when I searched "rosalie" and ngl, it fits his perception of her perfectly)

Rosalie, in his opinion, is shallow, self-obsessed, and superior the everyone (“her mind was a stagnant pool with few surprises”). These two do not get along whatsoever and while this may have been my initial impression of her in Twilight it changed over time. She is more than that and it is baffling that Edward thinks of her that way even after all this time. They are familiar with each other’s stories and I find it hard to believe that he would do anything nice for her based on the initial impression we are presented within this book. Or maybe she now has almost everything she wants: a loving partner, a family, a comfortable life. Why is it so bad? She seems to be comfortable and even happy. Can Edward just not accept that other people might not despise this life as much as he does?

Emmett gets away slightly better than Rosalie, but not much. The impression I got of him from reading his paragraph is that he is an overgrown, glorified child. He has no problem with Edward reading his thoughts, specifically because he carries his heart on his sleeve and if he has something to say, he will say it to your face. He seems to be Edwards second favourite of his siblings.

His absolute favourite is Alice, because “it wasn’t easy, being the freaks among those who were already freaks.” If Bella and Jasper weren’t in the picture, those two would be a couple, I swear! They are the extra special snowflakes (derogatory) among the already special snowflakes (derogatory) (So sorry!). They look out for each other; I can already tell you that they will present a united front concerning anything and everything and ask each other favours (like Alice wanting Edward to keep an eye on Jasper to make sure he doesn’t go on a murdering spree because he’s hungry).

Coincidentally, Edward is pretty mad at her for focusing on her husband/boyfriend/SO and his trip down the serial killer lane in a public high school that she, later on, doesn’t catch a glimpse of Edwards violent fantasies and his possible future with his fangs in Bella’s neck. He seems to be pretty salty about that. I get that for Edward this is probably pretty damning, especially since this is not a regular occurrence, but has the thought crossed his mind that, right now, she has other priorities? Or that this future simply will not come to pass and that is the reason she hasn’t seen it? I am not familiar with how it works in the books (like I said, ages) but in the movies sometimes she gets the visions automatically without focusing and they are dependent on a person’s intent.

Back to Jasper then. And oh, Jasper. They did my boy dirty.

Well, technically not, because he has a much harder time living among humans than the others. But SM did not have to write Edward so dismissive of his struggles. To quote: “And Jasper was … suffering. I suppressed a sigh.” If this is so hard for him, why does he have to be there at all? They can’t always count on Edward and Alice to monitor him like a toddler. It would be far more efficient to just keep him away from humans. Also, and this is something that I have snapchatted to my friends several times and no one has yet come up with a concrete answer for me: You know how half the population is female? And how there are art-classes and PE and probably a school nurse? Accidents happen (I cannot tell you how often my friend had a spontaneous nosebleed in the middle of history class) and PMS is a thing. There will be a girl on her period when Jasper hasn’t fed in a long time. He’s not gonna avoid it by any stretch of the world by being in school. Have him stay home with Esme and work more in smaller steps.

“Why flirt with disaster?” If you can say that in response to Jasper having fantasies about drinking the blood of one of his classmates which starts with what is an exhibitionist-inclined make-out, why can’t you stay away from Bella? Because let me tell you: the best scene in this chapter was Edwards’s mind working out how to best kill his entire biology class just so he can rip open the new student and afterwards he doesn’t take his advice and cannot stay the fuck away. To his credit though, he tries. For like, half a chapter.

Until that point, where he smelled her, Bella was entirely mundane and uninteresting. He’s seen her in the minds of other students and the cafeteria and the most remarkable thing about her is that he can’t read her mind. He is very dismissive of it: “Not that I would find anything worth listening to.” So yeah, she doesn’t particularly strike his fancy or frankly, his interest.

But then she steps into the airflow that full-on blows her scent into his face and I have no words, except damn! And from that on we get the seven and a half most enjoyable pages of this chapter (dare I say the whole book?), the murder fantasies. What does it say about this book that this is the best scene so far? I found it quite well written to be honest. How he changes his second plan midway through the first because there are too many instances of the others screaming for help or alerting everyone else and, most importantly, Bellas body would grow cold while he snaps about 19 necks in 5 seconds. He is, for a monster without control, very methodical in his imaginary attempts to murder his class. Him thinking he has to destroy evidence, figuring out how he could best and most efficiently go about it, ultimately not relishing the killing but seeing it as the removal of an obstacle – I am getting some serious Hannibal vibes.

Of course, the thing holding him back is Carlisle and how Edward knows that his adoptive father would forgive him for this, because “he thought I was better than I was”. Only Edward being a stubborn bitch and wanting to prove something to Carlisle keeps around 20 people alive that day.

While I think the scene is incredible, it still rubs me the wrong way in a particular aspect: Edward has a raging fang-boner (pardon my French) for Bella and has the gall to judge Jasper simply because for him that is a permanent state of being. If anything, it makes me have a lot more respect for Jasper (and we can get into the confederate army major thing another time, I am aware of that) because he hasn’t ripped open someone’s bowels. But that isn’t where I was going with this. Edward only takes an interest in Bella because she smells like ecstasy to him. Because his instincts attract him to a meal so scrumptious, he’s never gonna forget it again. What a great start for a relationship! Also, he hates her because of her scent and this somehow keeps him sane. I either do not get boys in general or Edward Cullen specifically. Probably both.

It also takes him waaay too long to stop breathing. (And I know that he uses the phrase “sinking my teeth through that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing-” to describe her neck, but I have read too much horribly/well-written E-rated fanfics on AO3 to not think of a vagina when I read this.)

And even after he has resolved to not abduct and kill the new student, he still fantasizes about doing it. Like I said, reading his fantasies is pretty enjoyable, but why did SM have to give them to us in the first chapter? Nothing in this book is gonna compare to this description ever again and I am sad about it. I know, who’d have thought?

Then we get to the part where he thinks about following her to her house because to kill her there is “the responsible way to deal with this”. Excuse me? Oh man, still really enjoyable to read, but now I am genuinely scared for Bella!

Because this is not just very detailed, but also very thought out. I am not sure if SM decided to ramp up the fear-factor for Edward because while everyone theoretically knows that he could snap a neck with his pinkie, the thirst was very much real about a decade ago and everyone just kinda glossed over the fact that Edward is a killing-machine. Not sure if Bella wouldn’t take Jacobs concerns regarding sex with a vampire while she was still human a little more seriously if she knew that was how her husband thought about her when they met. Is this supposed to entice me or turn me on? Not that it ever could in general, because Edward, but after that description, I am very much turned off, actually, and not at all receptive to this dude and want to tell Bella to run for the hills or La Push and never come back. This is, good writing aside, disturbing!

After class, he heads out in his car and listens to calming music, which he does a lot. I’ll keep tabs on how often and keep you posted. And this is where he gets angry with Alice for focusing on Jasper instead of him. To quote: “Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she’d missed this much more horrific possibility?” Well, maybe because her boyfriend has a much harder time with basically every student in the school rather than just one and is much more likely to flip his table in English and jump the teacher (and not in a fun way). And that her life doesn’t revolve around you!

As I said, the chapter ends with him speeding off into the night, because that is the only responsible choice. If you fell you it best to remove yourself from the situation, do it. But maybe stay consistent afterwards.

Good things: The description of Edwards methodical nature when planning the murders. Very well written, as well as his portrayal as a ruthless monster compared to the amped-up teenage-heartthrob-thing we got from Bellas point of view. The danger surrounding a vampire never really came through, but now it did. I actually fear for her. Very impressive writing.

Bad things: How easily and nonchalantly he tries to manipulate his way into a higher-level science class was very disturbing. How dismissive he is of almost all of his siblings and their problems or their happiness. The fact that the first feelings he had towards Bella are ambivalence and hatred.

This is gonna be unbearable, isn’t it?

#midnight sun #bella swan #edward cullen #review #can we even call it that?

[guywithgreensunglasses]

Rebuilding Trust in the Media: Week 7 Reflection

Journalistic engagement strategist Joy Mayer touched last week on some points of particular relevance to some of my recent research. Her presentation, “Trust in ‘The Media’” explored some of the reasons that 43 percent of the American public has a negative view of news organizations, according to a 2018 Knight Foundation/Gallup Poll 2018. Mayer, who worked for 20 years as a journalist prior to her switch to engagement strategy, has been working with media companies to rebuild public trust in news. She helped develop the Trusting News project which has enlisted 30 newsrooms from across the country to be the subject of her team’s analysis, exploring ways that the media can bridge this trust gap.

I defended my senior thesis this week for the honors college and the SOJC (and Oh! the relief of having passed). My research focused on how artists have responded to the current political climate in the wake of the Trump presidency. President Trump has dedicated much of his time to waging a “war on the media,” inciting distrust over long-established news organizations like The New York Times.

Incendiary news has proliferated since the Presidential election in a way that the world has not yet experienced. Its divisive effects have only been deepened by the development of social media. It is Thursday, April 19, and journalists have been busy reporting on the relationship between Fox News personality Sean Hannity and President Trump. The President’s personal lawyer, who has been under criminal investigation by the FBI, was forced to admit on April 16 that Hannity is also one of his clients, a fact that the conservative host has failed to disclose to the public, despite journalistic codes of ethics. Hannity has been one of Trump’s most vocal supporters, calling the FBI investigation into Russia’s possible collusion with the 2016 presidential election a “witch-hunt” that “is now a runaway train that is clearly careening off the tracks.” He devotes most of his weeknight broadcasts to defending the President, while inciting distrust in major news organizations like The New York Times, CNN, and any who critique the President. He laments of, “rampant corruption” among these types of publications, an ironic claim in light of these recent developments. Nevertheless, many Americans — my father included — now believe that long-trusted news groups have biases toward their reporting. A 2018 report from the Reuters Institute for the Study of Journalism found that American media consumers are the most politically polarized in the world. Those who lean right are twice as likely to say that they do not trust the news than their left-winging counterparts. Mayer cited study from POLITICO  that speaks even more to this partisan divide: “Nearly half of voters, 46 percent, believe the news media fabricate news stories about President Trump and his administration.” Trump appears to be winning his war on the media.

Right-leaning Americans are twice as likely to say they mistrust the news than those on the left, the report found. And, overall, just 38% of Americans say they trust the news media in general (53% say they trust the news they consume). I used these statistics in my thesis to show that amid this hostility and polarization, artists have tried to articulate these sentiments through their artwork. An example is Philadelphia-based poet Lisa Grunberger, who wrote a poem after her house was vandalized by white supremacists with anti-Semitic messages. She wanted her poem to show the absurdity of such a personal attack, in a similar way that satirical news hosts like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert use irony and exaggeration to underscore the shortcomings of people and vices.

I thus share much of Mayer’s concerns over how journalism can improve. Her research has looked at the views and beliefs of the public over why they distrust the media. One that stood out is: “Journalists are trained in journalism schools to slant the news.” I have heard a similar statement from my conservative father, who believes, like the 46 percent of respondents from the POLITICO poll, that journalists are out to get Republicans. Indeed, Mayer acknowledged that there tends to be a liberal bias among today’s reporters. “A higher and higher percentage of journalists are centered in places that are likely to vote blue,” she said.

However, this does not mean that they cannot practice professional values of journalism, especially that of objectivity. Mayer said that journalists, at least the good ones, do not want their political leanings to seep into their reporting. “Much of what people say they want, many journalists are doing,” she said, referring to feedback she has received through her research. The main problem is a gap between how people view the media and how the media presents itself to the public. “We have an education problem,” Mayer called it, “a storytelling problem.” Her efforts through work like the Trusting News project have been to help news organizations improve their communication and relationship with their audiences. An example she gave is of The Fresno Press, who posted a video on social media of an 11-year-old girl described as a “wiz in the kitchen” because of her early success in cooking competitions. When someone commented below the video that calling her a “wiz” was inaccurate because the young girl had not gone to culinary school, the paper defended its reporting and the girl, explaining that her accolades at her early age justified their labeling her a “wiz.” The defense post received numerous likes and praise from the public. “People appreciate that they stood up for civility,” Mayer said. Because the paper responded “like a human being,” and not a faceless company, people felt that they could better appreciate its role in the community. It is small steps like these that Meyers said can, over time, build trust and confidence in journalism.

Larger, more encompassing steps are also necessary. An article from MediaShift cited a Pew study finding that young people have much less trust in the media than the general public: just 12 percent believe the media do a “very good job” of presenting information. A major part of this has been the difficult digital transition. Content quality has been sacrificed for profits, (e.g. clickbait articles). As the article said of this kind of content and young audiences, “for those of us who grew up with the internet, we see right through it.” A major need in the long term is to find a match between information and format. News companies like The New Yorker have been successful in melding light-hearted, fun stories with hard-hitting, Pulitzer prize-winning articles.

Practicing transparency, civility, objectivity and in-depth reporting are essential to building a positive relationship between the media and the people. Communication of these values is even more important.

The numbers speak for themselves — something needs to be done, and the fact that 30 newsrooms have galvanized to find ways to improve trust among the public says even more. Things need to change, and luckily it seems that they are.

[mattyunijourneybrief12]

Week 1 & 2 - Research

1. What is Empathy?

Empathy is:

“The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

Essentially, it is to walk in someone else's shoes. I feel like I have done this my whole life, for example when I see a disabled person in a wheelchair, I can understand what they are going through. I have always held a door for someone else to go past, rather than be the one who has the door held for them. I don’t know if it stems from me being shy as a child - I’m not sure. 

This video that I have found below is a video by Dr. Brene Brown who talks about how people can create an empathic connection. 

Empathy is different to sympathy because it fuels connection, whereas sympathy fuels disconnection. Theresa Wiseman studied diverse professions where empathy is relevant. She found 4 attributes of empathy:

To see the world as others see it

To be non-judgemental

To understand someone else's feelings

To communicate the understanding of that person’s feelings

I liked the animated short in this video, it was a good way of telling the story of being empathetic vs. sympathetic. Here is some examples of being sympathetic from the video:

Fox: “I had a miscarriage”

Horse: “At least you know you can get pregnant”

Fox: “I am having problems with my marriage”

Horse: “At least you are married”

In the video Brene mentions that as humans we try to make things better when faced with very difficult conversations. Rarely, a response can make something better, so it is better to say: 

“I am here for you”.

Connection will help to make a problem better. 

This quote below from Daniel H. Pink sums empathy up perfectly. It definitely does make the world a better place:

I found another video on YouTube about a speech on Empathy by Simon Sinek. This quote from the speech is my favourite:

“The real job of a leader is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of those in our charge.”

He mentions that in the workplace, people are usually managed by people who have been promoted from their own job. This breeds managers and not leaders, because they do know how to do our jobs better than us, which causes micromanaging. It is important to not do this, and to transition into someone who is responsible for the people doing the job, rather than for doing the job. 

2. Good Design in the Digital Age

3. Creativity: The Most Precious Commodity in the Digital Age 

4. Brenda Laurel: Design (Research) in the Wild

Brenda mentions the difference between generative and formative research. Generative research begins with empathy for a particular set of people, having the goal to enhance the good in our world. This is an important point, as this resonates with me as a designer. I am full of empathy, and the reason I want to be a UX Designer is to help others. I have seen the benefits that technology can give us and I enjoy designing services for people which enhance their lives.

Brenda also mentions that generative design research starts with new technology, such as the new iPhone 12 which will have more features than previous iPhones. New technology brings new opportunities for designers and users.

It is also important to get rid of biases when doing human-centred research. Brenda says that if we were developing for tween girls, our bias tells us that “little girls should be nice, they are always nice to each other”, or “girls in their fantasy dreamworld want to take care of animals and nurture things”. If as the designer I would have used these biases, I would have made a mistake and got it wrong.

It is important that the designers self-examine and suspend these biases until the latter stages of the research.

Imagination and creativity are part of how the designer can get an informed intuition, however the most important thing is human centred-research, which is going out and talking to people, as well as experiencing their problems with them. This is another really important point to me. In order to design for someone, you have to know as much about them as possible, depending on what the service is.

Brenda says that designing just to make money is not a useful idea, and I could not agree more. To be in the correct frame of mind is crucial, as it will bring the best results. For example, Be My Eyes is an app that I am in love with because of the sheer generosity of the idea. It is an idea that you can tell has come from the heart and the designer has used empathy when designing the service. It also models good behaviour which Brenda says is an important role of the designer. When a user signs up to the app, they are volunteering to be someone’s eyes.

The analysis phase is really important, and the goal is to find patterns in the data. There are various visualisations of the data that we can use, such as bar charts.

Brenda mentions that she has two rules about building personas:

-       The persona has to be based off someone you have spoken to, so you can branch off to people that are similar, but they have to be based on a real person beforehand

-       Don’t make them up from bias

She also has a rule for putting scenarios together:

-       There has to be a failure in every good scenario. Something has to break, the character can’t figure out what to do, or the technology behaves in an unexpected way. We then need to see how both the service and the user recover from that failure

Formative research is usually done in a professional environment, as clients are less likely to want to spend money on generative research as it takes more time.

5. The types of design research every designer should know NOW

[denialisnotpolicy]

Let’s Talk about Growth: Human Population & the Economy

Human population growth has spiked over the last 200 years, no longer growing slowly. There are three important trends dealing with this growth: the rate of population growth may be decreasing but the population is still growing, population growth is unevenly distributed, and large numbers of people are moving to urban areas from rural areas. The growth of the human population raises the question: how many people can the earth support indefinitely? It is obvious that as the human population grows, so does our ecological footprint. But some argue that what we should really ask is what the cultural carrying capacity is. Meaning, how many people could live in “reasonable freedom and comfort indefinitely, without decreasing the ability of the earth to sustain future generations” [1]? 

There are numerous population clock websites online showing real-time birth and death rates. On https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/, you can see how the “births today” value rises much faster than the “deaths today” value, yielding a net population growth. While writing this, the global population has grown by 13.2 million this year. While I was aware of how large populations were, to actually see the growth happening was eye-opening. However, I think it is absolutely necessary to examine the true motives and biases held by those advocating that we slow population growth in order to live more sustainably. The countries with the largest population sizes and growths are Asian and African, largely undeveloped, and are unfairly targeted in this argument. We need to consider why these countries are less developed than the U.S., and recognize the role developed countries play in exploitation of other countries. 

Figure 1. World population growth by region since 1820. (Roser, Max, Ritchie, Hannah, & Ortiz-Ospina, Esteban. “World Population Growth.” Our World in Data. May 2019. Accessed February 29, 2020.)

With such rapid population growth, many anticipate future conflict with environmental limits. Many believe that we need encourage slowing the population growth through reducing poverty, empowering women, and supporting family planning. In the 1992 World Scientists’ Warning to Humanity, which I discussed in my first blog post, one of the scientists’ five calls to action was to achieve sexual equality, which is linked to slowing population growth. Studies have shown that women who are educated, can control their own fertility, and support themselves financially have fewer children. Giving women more rights and opportunities is critical. Only about 30% of girls around the world are enrolled in secondary education, and in almost every country women have fewer rights and opportunities than men. Female empowerment is a righteous pursuit in itself, and if through female empowerment we can also slow population growth to increase quality of life for humans and other species, and lessen our ecological footprint, then there is even more reason to pursue that end. 

In addition, rapid population growth is linked to urbanization and issues of urban planning. Most urban areas are unsustainable with large ecological footprints, but there are many seeking to change this. For example, PlaNYC was a 2009 strategic plan by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to create more sustainable housing for the future additional 1 million residents of NYC. Its three major components were OpeNYC, MaintaiNYC, and GreeNYC: preparing for 1 million new residents in the next two decades, repairing aging infrastructure, and reducing carbon emissions by 30%. Another term in urban planning is a transition town, which refers to grassroots community projects seeking to increase self-sufficiency and reduce effects of climate change and economic instability. 

“The Impossible Hamster” is a short video clip arguing against many politicians’ and economists’ belief that the economy can grow indefinitely. They state that there are reasons for why things do not grow indefinitely in nature, and use the example of a hamster who doubles in size each week for a year, growing to a 9 billion ton hamster. This hamster would consume at least a year’s worth of the world’s corn production every day. With economic growth, we edge closer to very serious environmental limits. A limited environment cannot support unlimited growth of any kind. 

Figure 2. The Impossible Hamster. (“The Impossible Hamster.” New Economics Foundation. Vimeo. January 24, 2010. Accessed February 29, 2020. https://vimeo.com/8947526)

In a related video, Mark Albion illustrates conflict between business and life. When a young MBA encounters an older fisherman coming back from the water, he lectures him on how he could spend more time fishing, get a bigger boat, and continue to grow his business until he ended up a millionaire in New York City. The fisherman asks “then what?” to which the MBA replies that he could then spend his days fishing and spending time with his family, all things which he already did in his day-to-day life without the 10-15 years of working and being absent from his family life. We see through this parable that being a millionaire is not necessary to have “a good life.” In fact, pursuing excess wealth can impede happiness. 

In examining the state of our environment and economy, The Center for a New American Dream asks the question: how can we reduce ecological impact and create jobs? They offer a new economic model and way of life termed the plenitude economy, which rethinks how we spend our time and ultimately gives us better quality of life. The amount of hours we work has gone up about 200 hours a year since the 1970s, making us more stressed, tired, and unhappy. At the same time, it increases carbon emissions. Therefore, they argue that reducing work time would increase our quality of life while decreasing environmental harm. With more time off work, people would have more time to “D.I.Y” projects, like gardening, bee-keeping, sewing their own clothing, building low-cost eco-friendly housing, and generating their own energy. When people work less, they also consume less, and I’ve talked about the environmental harm of mass consumption before. The plenitude economy also encourages sharing, bartering, and community practices--building social capital. 

Figure 3. The Degrowth Movement. (Demaria, Federico. “The rise - and future - of the degrowth movement.” The Ecologist. March 27, 2018. Accessed February 29, 2020. https://theecologist.org/2018/mar/27/rise-and-future-degrowth-movement)

Another economic model is called the steady state economy, defined by a constant stock of capital and a constant population size. The head individual of this position, Herman Daly, advocates for immediate political action to switch to the steady state economy. This would include imposing permanent government restrictions on all resource use. The model recognizes the limits of natural capital, which in turn limits economic growth. There is a related movement called the degrowth movement, which is based on ecological economics, anti-consumerist, and anti-capitalist ideas. It is another response to the question of whether growth is limited or not. The degrowth movement believes that overconsumption is at the heart of environmental and social issues. However, the degrowth movement does not believe that reducing consumption requires individual sacrifice or sacrificing happiness. Instead, they believe that happiness can be maximized through non-consumptive means like sharing work, devoting more time to art, music, family, nature, culture, and community. I think that materialism and overconsumption not only harms the environment but is also at the root of a lot of unhappiness. Our culture of always needing the newest things can create a competitive environment and make people feel lesser when they cannot afford certain goods. In a less materialistic society this source of unhappiness would be weakened. 

Word Count: 1153

Question: How are arguments that we should slow population growth problematic? Can they be unbiased?

[1] Miller, G. Tyler. Living in the Environment. 19th ed. (Boston: Cengage Learning, 2018) 123.

[jeramymobley]

Barbie Addresses ‘The Dream Gap’ Affecting Young Girls

Mattel’s Barbie is championing awareness of “The Dream Gap”—the split that “comes between girls and their full potential.”

Created to celebrate the International Day of the Girl, the new spot addresses the limiting self-doubts that can affect girls as young as age five.

The video is part of Mattel’s Dream Gap Project, a multi-year global initiative to raise awareness of factors that prevent girls from reaching their full potential.

Introducing the Dream Gap Project, an ongoing global initiative that aims to give girls the resources and support they need to continue to believe that they can be anything.

Learn more: https://t.co/jQ83Op7BgY. #CloseTheDreamGap #YouCanBeAnything #Barbie pic.twitter.com/xq9rfcDlmp

— Barbie (@Barbie) October 9, 2018

The spot states that young girls “are three times less likely to be given a science-related toy,” and that parents are twice as likely to Google search “Is my son gifted?” than “Is my daughter gifted?”

A study conducted by researchers at New York University, the University of Illinois and Princeton University found that as early as age five, girls begin to view their own gender as less smart than boys, and confidence in their own competence starts to diminish.

The brand is partnering with NYU Associate Professor Andrei Cimpian on a two-year post-doctoral fellowship on the global issue. “Our research is just the beginning—we need to dedicate more resources to this important topic so that we can better understand how to support girls,” said Cimpian, in a press release. “This collaboration with Barbie is a large-scale, ambitious effort to explore this important phenomenon and share what we know about childhood development to a mass audience, so we can help close the Dream Gap.”

You can be anything. How do you encourage the girls in your life to continue believing in their dreams?

Join us in our commitment to #CloseTheDreamGap — the gap that comes between girls and their full potential: https://t.co/jQ83Op7BgY.

— Barbie (@Barbie) October 9, 2018

The ad asks “moms, dads, brothers and bosses” to address this issue with a mind not only to how they treat the girls in their lives, but through the products they create.

With an extra dose of encouragement, your little one can change her community and the world! How will you help her to go above and beyond? #MotivationMonday #Barbie pic.twitter.com/aXOsy3tzUB

— Barbie (@Barbie) October 8, 2018

“Since 1959, Barbie has inspired the limitless potential in every girl and we believe that empowering them at a young age is a catalyst to unlocking their full potential,” said Lisa McKnight, GM/SVP Barbie. “The goal of The Dream Gap Project is to leverage Barbie’s global platforms to educate society on gender biases and inspire any supporter of girls to join us as we can’t do this alone.”

Mattel outlined the five pillars they embrace in addressing the Dream Gap:

Raising awareness through impactful content

Showing girls more role models

Leveraging Barbie as a role model

Continuing to offer empowering products

Rallying partners around the world

The company will highlight at least 10 empowering female role models each year globally, and continue creating content that supports female empowerment through Barbie Vlogger.

“By continuing to infuse purpose-driven themes in content, such as Barbie Vlogger, we are addressing issues that girls face in a unique and approachable way,” the brand said.

Barbie is a shining example of a brand’s transformation and modernization—ringing an alarm bell on gender, starting with the 2015 “Imagine the Possibilities” ad about career potential and including last year’s “Dad’s Who Play Barbie,” airing during the NFL playoffs.

Keeping up with the times, a new doll honoring Jodie Whittaker, the first woman ever to seize the title role in the iconic series, “Doctor Who,” is now available for pre-sale on Mattel.com.

Introducing the all-new #DoctorWho Barbie doll inspired by the iconic series’ Thirteenth Doctor. With her signature suspenders, lace-up boots and sonic screwdriver, this #Barbie doll is ready to time travel into your collection! Available Monday 10/8 at https://t.co/JDeqzI59nX. pic.twitter.com/hmbh6eX1z2

— Barbie (@Barbie) October 7, 2018

Mattel operates in 40 locations and sells products in more than 150 countries . The company is well-poised to further the conversation on gender equality with an iconic doll that epitomizes the modern female: adapting to succeed—with a little help from family and friends.

Here’s the 1959 first ever Barbie commercial aired during Mickey Mouse Club.

The post Barbie Addresses ‘The Dream Gap’ Affecting Young Girls appeared first on brandchannel:.

[grantplant]

They All Saw a Cat

Last week, I was innocently skimming through Emily Nussbaum’s New Yorker commentary on the Girls series finale. I stopped watching this show a while ago—I liked it, and much of the material in early seasons resonated with me, but to a point. That point, or points, were Adam, the whiplashiest character I’ve ever hate-love-hated, forcing himself on his girlfriend and then Hannah repeatedly assaulting her ear with a q-tip. But I digress. I’ve followed the cultural zeitgeist of the show and Lena Dunham herself, and I like Emily Nussbaum, so I read the review. (You can, too.)

Somewhere in the middle of the piece, in a parenthetical no less, Nussbaum asserts: (You can’t be a writer without being entitled: Why else would you think anyone wants to listen to you?)

Record scratch. Oh, god. Is that possibly possibly true? Or rather, are any of the components that make up this doozy of a declaration?  Because she’s saying 1) all writers are entitled, and 2) that the act of writing is synonymous with the belief that anyone wants to listen to us, and 3) that that unanimous and inherent entitlement is the reason why we believe that anyone wants to listen to us.

Before I put “Delete blog/set book(s) on fire” on my to-do list, I paused to think.

Couldn’t this (horrible! faulty!) logic be applied to anyone who ever created anything? A chef, or a painter, or, as my tech-minded husband said testily, “How about all the people in the world who feel sure that their app is the one that needs to be made?”

I admit, I spent five years of my life working at a nonprofit that encourages hundreds of thousands of people annually that they have a story (or perhaps dozens) to tell. This nonprofit has been likened more than once to a new breed of parent that believes and convinces their child that he or she is a special snowflake unlike any other, and is capable of—and dare I say it, entitled to--anything he or she sets his magical little mind to. (I am parent to a nine-month-old snowflake myself, and understand how terribly, seductively easy it is to adopt this mindset. No judgement here!)

I’m not now, nor was I ever, saying we’re all Pulitzer-quality yarn-spinners (Nussbaum actually is), but I genuinely do believe that we all have stories to tell that are unlike the stories that anyone else can tell. No one is exactly the same, and while that doesn’t imbue their differences with magic or the right to special treatment, it does add value to their perspective. This perspective allows each of us to experience, understand, live, and do everything differently from each other, and it also makes that uniqueness of experience unknowable to anyone else. That is, unless we decide to share it. And how do we share it, but by telling stories. That story could be painted, plated, coded, thrown on a wheel and fired in a kiln, or knit from dog hair into a dog sweater. Making something out of nothing is telling a story of some kind.

This storytelling isn’t new, btw. We are not talking about a tool for millennials to message each other disappearing videos, or broadcast their every location or opinion or achievement to the masses. People have been telling stories from the very beginning, with words and hieroglyphs and inventions and yes, novels and essays and, now, blogs and critiques and columns.

I am tickled by the thought that anyone ever looked at a cave painting drawn by one of our earliest ancestors and thought, “That entitled sonofabitch.” Maybe they did! Totally their right to feel that way, too.

As part of this snowflake-producing creative writing nonprofit, NaNoWriMo utilized the horrible, useful, sometime hilarious millennial tool for storytelling (and searching and archiving), the hashtag, specifically for a campaign called  #whyIwrite (about, you guessed it, why you/I/anyone writes). I did a quick search (thanks, hashtags!) and not a single person wrote “Because I am entitled.” (But then who, other than Emily Nussbaum, is that self-aware? I’m looking at you, caveman.) My quick-search also turned up what I and my cohorts had to say on the subject back in 2011.

“I write because so many things are better read than said. Misunderstandings are too easy in spoken communication; we talk so much and so fast and with so many interruptions! Writing is a haven where I may sit with a concept, clarifying here and editing there, until I can stand back and say, “Here. This is exactly what I mean.””

Reading this makes me realize, I guess, that I’ve gone and made a leap of my own. I am operating on the (possibly gross/horrible/faulty) logic that to write is to tell a story of some kind. And while my above answer does address why I *write* my stories instead of, for example, saying them out loud or painting them (can’t) or cooking them (sometimes I do that, too), or coding them (nope), it doesn’t ask or address exactly why I tell stories (aka create anything, written or otherwise) in the first place.

We’ll get to that in a sec, though.

Do you remember the study showing that by reading literary fiction, we humans’ emotional sensitivity is improved? The NYTimes characterized the findings thusly:

“…after reading literary fiction, as opposed to popular fiction or serious nonfiction, people performed better on tests measuring empathy, social perception and emotional intelligence — skills that come in especially handy when you are trying to read someone’s body language or gauge what they might be thinking.”

I don’t know what middling impact or nonimpact my nonserious nonfiction (as opposed to its serious counterparts, or literary or popular fiction) might have or not have but… this is #whyitellstories. My stories happen to be true stories, and they’re not always mine, and so I have no idea if any of it increases or promotes understanding in this often baffling and misunderstood world. If not this way, though, how else will we gain any insight into what’s happening elsewhere to other people of other belief systems and capabilities and ethnicities and everything else that makes up our own snowflakey identities?

I’m not writing to be read, or telling stories to be heard or listened to. The writing-down part is ultimately a selfish act; a putting together of disparate pieces to make something comprehensible in times of confusion. I am using the written word to make sense of, well, everything. So why do I share it? Why tell the story instead of logging it away, sussed but otherwise unconsumed? In the hopes that maybe I’m not alone in my wonderings or bafflement. That anyone else who ever felt confused or amazed or humbled or edified might see the way it happened over here, through this lens of experience, and might think that even though it was different for them, maybe it was also the same.

Even though I think hope Emily Nussbaum is wrong, there’s more than enough room for her opinion and perspective and… were we to meet over a Cinnabon or a tub of hummus, she may come to believe I am the wrong one, indeed the most entitled nonserious-nonfiction writer she ever did meet. We’re probably both right. And wrong. And there is plenty of room for both versions or some combination therein.

As I am often guilty of doing, because I ultimately believe that all of life can be explained by children’s books (which further reinforces my view on the value of storytellers, I guess) I will bring this back to a book that we, the Grant-Bowens, have been reading a lot. They All Saw A Cat is about a cat, as seen by a child, a dog, a flea, a bird, and a bat, among other animals, until, in the end, it sees itself. Each creature sees this cat differently, based on its size, perception, biology, and biases. The way the cat sees itself is the only way it could ever perceive itself in the world, unless that child, dog, flea, bird, bat, and anything else so inclined, shares the way *it* sees the cat. This not only changes the way the cat sees itself, but also the cat’s understanding of the way a child, dog, flea, bird, and bat sees things, too.

I used to think this should be required reading for all nonfiction writers, and then expanded it to all writers, period. Increasingly, I’m thinking it goes on the syllabus for life.

We all see the cat. But how do we see it? And more importantly, why do we see it as we do? If no one else pipes up to answer the question, we will only ever see it one way—our own way--and worse, never realize that there are other ways; ways we can’t even imagine.And they are all weird and surprising and beautiful, and they are all true.

The entitlement of the writer, or the solipsism a writer-free world. I know which I fear more. And so I hit ‘publish.’ Emily, send me your address and I’ll send you a book. It’s about a cat.