#that is literally fernando alonso. goodbye.

[leclerc-s]

let the games begin

series masterlist

BAHRAIN '24

maejonesverstappen, oscarpiastri, bailey winters, nataliaruiz, and rhysjones posted new stories

goodbye australia, hello bahrain ✈️✈️✈️ "no, amor, i'll be ready in like 10 minutes" and why did she steal my neighbor’s dog again? someone's excited to see papa after a long day apart. who stuck me on a plane with thing one and thing 2? netflix do you really think these two ever hated each other?

isabella perez i need about 15 red bulls to make it through the week

bailey winters i bet that mclaren offer is looking good right about now.

isabella perez at least the coffee's amazing and i don't have to beg one of the drivers to do a video for media.

max jones-verstappen you said that was one of my good qualities? isabella perez i lied! max jones-verstappen i literally hate you so much.

george russell good luck with lewis next year!

lewis hamilton i'm not that bad.

carlos sainz you literally don't do secret santa and are hardly in grill the grid.

lando norris correction he doesn't do the f1 one secret santa! oscar piastri and clearly someone still hasn't learned what the difference between white elephant and secret santa is. lando norris IT'S THE SAME FUCKING THING!! logan sargeant NO IT ISN'T!! WE ARE NOT FUCKING DOING THIS AGAIN NORRIS!!

rhys jones GET ME OFF THIS PLANE!!

max jones-verstappen i told you that you should've gone with me but you said, "it's lando and daniel. what's the worst that could happen?"

rhys jones HOW COULD I BE SO WRONG??

charles leclerc amature.

penelope trevino quick lesson rhys, never ever get on a plane with daniel and lando or daniel and max or lando and carlos.

rowan todd and never ask charles and daniel what happened in vegas back in 2019, because they don't remember

mae jones-verstappen popular vote went to a threesome with nat

fernando alonso what the fuck is wrong with you people

lance stroll it's best not to ask anymore.

daniel jones-ricciardo I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP? WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE INVOLVED IN A THREESOME??

pierre gasly when we voted we forgot about that part. natalia ruiz someone almost got arrested, and it wasn't me. charles leclerc i genuinely don't remember rhys jones there's your answer for who almost got arrested.

daniel jones-ricciardo i think it was me.

JEDDAH '24

isabellaperez and dulceperez posted new stories

look at my son!!

can't believe we're letting babies into f1 cars now.

isabella perez my son!! my pride and joy!!

alex albon i didn't hallucinate that shit right?? i got out qualified by a baby?? pierre gasly my car's a fucking shitbox but i think it still would've been the same.

isabella perez LOGAN PLAY DEAR THEODOSIA!!

logan sargeant you do know he's not your actual son right? isabella perez shut the fuck up?! he’s my son! my pride and joy!

max jones-verstappen p11? with one hour of practice?

sebastian vettel 1 HOUR?!

mick schumacher much better than i did my first race.

lando norris well your car was a shit box

carlos sainz he got p11 with an hour in car??

lewis hamilton and he was 0.036 away from knocking me out.

isabella perez charles back off from my grid son.

charles leclerc he's the one who said he wanted to race with me as his teammate one day.

oscar piastri i was betrayed?? by my own son??

ollie bearman oh so now i'm your son? last year i wasn't. isabella perez the prodigal son lives!! oscar piastri last year is last year. i'm a new person this year.

rhys jones WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO DRIVE AN F1 CAR??

daphne jones-ricciardo never mae jones-verstappen never max jones-verstappen the closest you'll ever get to being inside an f1 car is for a picture. daniel jones-ricciardo we can go karting? rhys jones i'll settle for karting.

freya vettel i just don't think it's fair that rhys gets two sets of grid parents when he doesn't even race.

esteban ocon neither do you?

lando norris ollie has two sets too!

ollie bearman i do?? carlos sainz if natalia has gone full mother hen on you, then you have just become nat and charles child. zoya torres A BROTHER FINALLY! freya vettel another one?

natalia ruiz i did not go full mother hen on him.

isabella perez you asked if he had lunch, then proceeded to get him food when he said no. natalia ruiz oh my god.

oscar piastri wow, stealing my child leclerc?

charles leclerc you're the one who said he wasn't your son.

isabellaperez posted a new story

my son is ready for his f1 debut.

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¡leclerc-s speaks! this was supposed to come out after jeddah but i lost any inspiration i had for this so here it is. the week of the the australian gp, sorry about that.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic

[drivestraight]

FORMULA One ace Fernando Alonso spent all night testing a stunning new model... and ended up coming second.

The supercharged Spaniard drove foxy Felicity Jaine wild in a marathon romp just hours before racing at Silverstone.

But when Fernando, 25, had to perform on the race track the next day he had nothing left in the tank.

"His stamina in bed blew my mind — he could literally go on for hours," said Felicity, 24.

"I wasn't looking at a watch, but at one point we'd been doing it for so long I considered stopping because my thighs were aching so much."

Felicity also revealed how the pocket hunk insists on wearing ‘lucky' Y-fronts for every race. And he should have kept them on that night—because he was beaten in the 2005 Grand Prix.

"When he got out of the car he shook his head at me, then gave me a knowing look," said Felicity.

"For Fernando the only place to finish is first and I knew he blamed our non-stop love-making the night before. But he thought the sex was worth it."

The relationship lasted two months but just three weeks ago the driver, now dating a Spanish pop star, texted Felicity asking her to join him at his hotel in Woking — near his McClaren Mercedes team's HQ.

Then he invited her back to his place in Oxfordshire—and things started to move up a gear. "We were in the back while his Spanish mates were in the front and we snogged the whole way home," Felicity giggled. "I remember having really sore lips because of his stubble.

"Fernando was getting really turned on. He undid my shirt and slipped his hands underneath my pink Topshop bra. His friends were sat just inches away in the front seat and that was pretty sexy.

"I never expected him to be like that because he was so polite and reserved. But on that back seat he said goodbye to all manners.

"At one point, I was leaning against the door and he was laid down on his front between my legs.

"He tugged down the zip on my jeans and kissed the bit of skin above my knickers, just below my belly button. It was very sensual. We only kissed, but if the journey had been longer, more would definitely have gone on."

"All I could hear was his soft panting as he unbuttoned my shirt, unhooked my bra then pulled down my jeans. Sex with him was never animalistic—there was no ripping off of clothes. Everything was romantic and loving."

And Felicity admitted: "I'm usually a wildcat in bed, but because he was so sensitive I held back a bit. I didn't want to scare him off.

"I was nervous sleeping with him for the first time. When I was younger I'd read my dad's Grand Prix magazine and wonder how girls got drivers as boyfriends.

"Suddenly that was me. I thought, ‘Bloody hell, I'm in bed with Alonso'. It was like a dream." World champ Fernando, favourite to win today's race on home territory, also likes taking risks in bed. Felicity explained: "Once, his friends were in the other room and in the morning we had sex with the door open. Fernando loved the fact he could be spotted at any moment. He was dangerous like that and that turned me on."

His physique also left her in awe. "Fernando's short, about 5ft 6ins, but he's built like a muscle machine.

But the language barrier was a problem at times. "He'd say, ‘There's so much that I want to say to you but I can't translate them'. That frustrated me so much so I tried to teach him as much English as I could.

One time I asked him what he thinks about when he drives. He said, ‘The next corner ...but when I'm on a straight I think about you'."

During their months together, Fernando introduced Felicity to his dad, Jose Luis, but she never met his mum, Ana—a woman the multi-millionaire ace secretly thinks is a jinx.

"When he was at the Hungarian Grand Prix, Fernando told me that his mum was going to be there and he wasn't happy," said Felicity.

"He told me she's bad luck." And he was right—he finished 11th.

Fernando dumped Felicity and is now with singer Raquel del Rosario— but three weeks ago came the text asking Felicity to visit his hotel.

She refused. "Part of me wanted to but I didn't want to make it easy for him," she said. "He really hurt me."

In fact, if she had to do the same again...she wouldn't, Fernando.

source

#fernando #ref

[flatspot]

okay confession, i'm not going to watch the entire season because i won't have enough time before spa so i have hand picked 7 more races from 2008 to complete my rewatch

fair warning, my criteria was very much 'did lewis win' and/or 'did something mad happen'. and with that, we move on to

monaco (can't believe i am voluntarily rewatching another monaco race this year, i think this is the 5th)

it's raining, we're off to a good start. kovalainen has stalled on the grid, he's not off to a good start

"teams have to anticipate things, anticipate safety cars if they can" - ominous music starts playing as we flashforward to singapore 👀

10 grand for a front wing back in 2008. today's prices have just inflated slightly then

the leaders are ten seconds a lap quicker than the midfielders. insanity

.........lewis hits the barrier and gets a rear right puncture?! this is. not how i saw this race unfolding knowing the result

very annoying that they didn't have a permanent timing tower graphic back then because i literally have no idea where anybody is

and right as i speak it flashes up and lets me know lewis only dropped to 5th

fernando goes into the wall and also gets a right rear puncture followed immediately by coulthard going into the same spot and bourdais ramming into the back of him

and now we pause for some footage of a car flying over the streets of monaco

back to the race, raikkonen is under investigation but nobody knows what for. standard

alonso's been sneaking around heidfeld for a couple of laps now and, somewhat predictably, has t-boned him at the hairpin with webber running into the back of them both. "that's another £10,000 for that front wing" "yeahhhh, run over it, go on!" martin came for the destruction and the destruction only today

and now in the ensuing traffic jam kovalainen has run over someone else's front wing. ah it was rosberg. can't be upset about that.

massa runs straight on at saint devote and kubica gets through for the lead - when they do the 180 spin in the run off there, hot

i haven't said anything for 10 laps but, and bear with me here, a ferrari once again runs straight on at saint devote and kubica gets through (raikkonen this time)

admittedly i'm only on race two (although i did do a quick check up on the ones i skipped) but ferrari this year seems to very much be "we probably should have won but if it's not one of our drivers having a shit show, it's both of them"

and there's the trulli train 🥰

lewis takes the lead around lap 35 and everything has quietened down into the usual level of boredom round monaco. rain expected in 15 minutes so we might get some more excitement yet

and right as i type that glock drops it into the barrier and loses half the back of his car. and a surprise fisi retirement for something we don't know about (this seems to be a common theme)

lewis absolutely flying, gaining 1-2 seconds per lap on massa behind him, almost has a pit stop in hand but nobody knows what tyres to put on because it's still meant to rain again

"what do you think about dry tyres, fernando?" "no thanks" - well, whether he wanted to or not, alonso goes in as the guinea pig putting the slicks on. let's see how badly this backfires

well alonso's okay but piquet comes out on slicks as well and goes straight into the barrier

kovalainen sends button spinning across the chicane but gives him a nice wave to say sorry so i'm sure jenson won't mind at all

rosberg does some pinball machine maneuver down the swimming pool complex and we're now behind the safety car. goodbye lewis's 30+ second lead

this is quite funny actually, to keep us entertained through the sc they're playing a montage of carnage best hits!

they get going after the safety car and raikkonen goes over a damp patch and shimmies all the way down out of the tunnel into the chicane, collects the back of sutil just for good measure, and both of them have to pit. sutil in a force india is out of the race from 3rd place

lewis wins and takes back the lead of the championship and i mourn the fact that it took me 22 hours to watch this one despite my best intentions because f1tv decided it simply wouldn't play this race from lap 40 onwards and i had to go find another copy of it

all in all quite an enjoyable monaco grand prix, definitely one of the better ones and definitely couldn't be called processional.

#race tag #2008 rewatch

[kyogos]

so... what are your thoughts on the 2010 wdc?? 👀

Anonymous said:What about the 2010 wdc???

Oh, wow, I wasn’t actually expecting anyone to ask 

but, here we go

2010 was set to be a fucking amazing year, 12 teams on the grid, and after the shock wins of Brawn the year before? It was anyone’s season to take. I need to stress at this point that I am so very much in love with Mark Webber. This is important.

So, first race of season and Alonso wins with Ferrari. And then the second race, Button wins. And then the third, Vettel wins. 3 races, 3 different wins. The title battle was on. There was no clear winner, no clear battle between two teams. 

And then 4th race, Button wins again. Everyone is willing to bet he’ll carry on the success of 2009 and make himself double world champion. At this point, Mark isn’t even in the top 5 in the driver standings. And then Spain comes and it’s clear Mark is here to fight. This is his year, he’d been in F1 since 2002 and this was the year he finally had a car capable of fighting. So he wins Spain, and then Monaco. 

And then he gets 3rd in Turkey. Red Bull were on for a clear 1-2. Of course I think Mark should have got the win, he was on pole, he was set for the win. Even putting that to one side though, Vettel overtook him on lap 40, moved over for whatever reason and crashed out. Red Bull said goodbye to the win and Mark limped home in 3rd. 

At this point, it was a 5 way title fight, with Vettel slowly falling into the background. But then, the standings stay the same, It looks to be Hamilton’s title. Or even Button’s. Certainly not Vettel’s that’s for sure.

And then Hungary and suddenly Mark’s back in the lead of the championship, and holy shit, he could win this. This is a serious possibility. At this point, Fernando is 5th in the championship, but he’s only a few points behind Button.

And then Belgium, Lewis takes the lead. Italy and it’s back to Mark. And then Singapore and Fernando is in 2nd, Seb is down in 4th, and it’s becoming clear this is now a 4 horse race. Jenson doesn’t have a realistic chance anymore. 

And then, Japan. Realistically, neither Lewis nor Jenson were going to win. 3 horses.

Korea. Double Red Bull retirement. Fernando grabbed the lead. 2 races to go. It’s tense. Brazil and Seb’s up to 3rd in the championship and Fernando has an 8 point lead over Mark. This was close. It was insanely close. 

And then Abu Dhabi. At this point, Seb had never lead the championship. Not once. In fact, for most of it, he was way down in 4th/5th. And then Mark and Fernando to have a shocking race, finishing in 8th and 7th. Seb claiming the win made him World Champion and I am still heart broken

That championship was Mark’s for the taking and had he not decided to fly in Valencia he could have been world champion. Also, the fact that Seb was given the new front wing (which was Mark’s, it was literally on his car??) in Britain made it perfectly clear that he was the number 1 driver at Red Bull and I have never forgiven them for it.

I honestly didn’t intend to write so much but I’m passionate about the 2010 season please don’t judge me

#I'd also like to add I love fernando as well and I wouldn't have minded had he beaten mark #bc at least it was a fair fight lmao #please no one shoot me #sainzjrs