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eaucian · 3 years

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Waaaah you did it again!! You've exceeded my expectations!! So here i am requesting to do a part 2 of cheater! oikawa x male reader, but the next song will be olivia rodrigo's deja vu! Oikawa reminiscing how he felt more complete and loved with the reader, how the reader gave everything yet he failed to give back the love the reader deserved. I'm so angsty idk why kskakdahhahaja ily too! 🌻

★ it's getting hard to let go

impt. (past) oikawa x m!reader

sum. oikawa’s doing some very hard thinking about the past. he misses your love, he misses it even though he knows there’s no chance he’ll ever get it back

wc. 1,449 (1.4k)

w. talk of cheating — umm angst in general (??) — just a lil bit of language — and some very sad oikawa :(

n. 🌻 annonn!!!! you really get me in my feels, ya know that bby??? cause danngg, i am itching for more of this now and there may or may mot be a part three in the works already but SHHHH about thAt- thank you for requesting thooo, i hope i did this justice and that you enjoy it, even though she real angsty now :,))

PART ONE

“Have you ever thought about the future?”

Your voice caught Oikawa off guard. He was too busy staring at you, caught up in the features of your face.

“‘Course I have,” he replied automatically.

“No, I mean the future, like twenty years from now, like when we’ll be old and shit,” you specify, smiling yourself silly looking at him.

“Sometimes, yeah.”

“What do you think will happen by then?” You maneuvered yourself into his lap, straddling him as the sun set behind your back.

Your hands were braced on his shoulders and he sat up from his lying down position so he could hold them.

“You know I don’t normally think that far ahead,” he smirked.

You hummed, “Maybe it’s time to start.”

“Oh yeah? Why should I, huh?” He buried his face in your neck, kissing experimentally at your skin.

You laughed at him.

And he loved hearing your laugh.

“Hm,” you moved a hand to tap at your chin, making you pull away from Oikawa so he couldn’t kiss at your neck anymore.

The pout on his face made you stifle another laugh.

“Cause you’re gonna be stuck with me for a while, Tooru,” you joked. “Thinking we should start making plans about what we’ll do other than this,” you nodded your head at your position to make a point.

Oikawa felt an itch in the back of his mind, like this wasn’t a conversation he should be having with you yet.

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows, his smile never failing.

You made a very satisfied expression, nodding your head along with it.

“Well we’ve still got some time,” he said, flipping you guys over on the grass, making him be over you now. A perfect place for him to kiss you senseless.

That shuts you up quickly. Making you laugh every time he went away from your lips and kissed your face or elsewhere.

Oikawa didn’t want this to end.

He didn’t want to lose you.

He didn’t want to see you walk away.

He didn’t-

Oikawa sprung up in bed.

He sat there bracing his hands behind him, breathing deeply, his chest heaving in and out.

A rhythm he had to tell himself to follow. In, now out. In and out, again and again.

His breathing steadied and he looked over to his left; where Akira slept soundly. None the wiser to Oikawa’s dreams.

God he missed you.

And he shouldn’t, he knew he shouldn’t but you made him feel for the first time in so long during high school.

Why did you have to make him feel?

He looked over to his right side instead of Akira now. The clock on his bedside told him it was only a little past six in the morning.

He wouldn’t be going to sleep now. And it wasn’t like he had work anyways, it was the weekend and there was no point in trying to sleep again.

Oikawa didn’t really want to dream about you either.

He got up from the bed, throwing the sheets off of himself and swinging his feet over the edge.

He went to the bathroom, staring long and hard at his own face. Letting out a long breath that made him feel like he’d been holding it ever since he’d woken up.

The brunette splashed some cold water on his face, willing it to wake him up—to snap him out of the daze he was in.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. Not since he saw you only days ago at the mall.

It was like you were stuck in his head.

Actually, scratch that—you were stuck in his head.

He put on a clean shirt (because he felt a little clammy, and no, that was not comfortable) and made his way to the kitchen. Oikawa thought he may as well eat his sorrows away, right?

There was no way to take his mind off of you, whenever he did anything you would be the second thought to bounce around in his head.

He thought about how he at least should’ve loved you more when you were together.

You deserved that.

On the matter of his thoughts, he was thinking Akira deserved better now.

He couldn’t love her like he loved you. Oikawa couldn’t do that for a fact. But there was a nagging feeling that he wouldn’t be able to tell her what happened, he couldn’t do it with you years ago, how could he do it now?

Oikawa thought about when you found out. It wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t a huge fight. But it was clear Oikawa was never going to win it.

There was no feeling like finding out the person you loved didn’t love you like you thought.

It broke you. The moment you went out to visit Oikawa. You thought it would be all lovey-dovey, the perfect surprise for him.

It was your anniversary after all.

A whole year.

A whole year of giving your attention and love to him.

And instead of finding the Oikawa you loved, you found him with a girl. A girl you didn’t know, someone you’d seen around sure, but you didn’t know her.

What’s worse is they were kissing, rather intimately actually. And all you could do was gape.

You couldn’t even say anything to him, just stand and eventually turn the way you came and leave.

The next day you were furious.

It was the weekend and you walked up to his house, seeing that he was alone, and knocked harshly on the door.

He opened it, his face smiling at you, only for it to weaken as he saw how serious yours looked.

“What the fuck?” You said first. And Oikawa looked perplexed.

“What?” He asked slowly.

“I ask again Oikawa, what the fuck?” His eyes widened now, you never called him by his last name. “Who were you with last night? And why do you not seem to care that I like you, a lot actually?”

“I- I don’t. . .” his arm on the door went limp, it was hanging by his side now.

“Please just-“ you paused looking up at him with shiny eyes now. “Can you just be honest with me once, Tooru?”

Your eyebrows were creased together and you were frowning at him.

Oikawa looked downcast. His mouth opened and closed while you stared at him

You licked your lips, your breath fanning across them made them feel dry. Or maybe you were just anxious.

“Look I just—I’ll make this easy on you, okay?” You looked him in the eyes and it took everything in Oikawa to not cower under your stare. “Have you been cheating on me, or- or her Oikawa?” Your voice was starting to break at the end of your words.

But you kept your stance, you couldn’t back down now, you had to know the truth.

It still took a while for Oikawa to respond, and when he did he preferred to look somewhere behind you rather than at you.

“It’s complicated [y/n], I never meant to-“

“Oikawa, you can’t just accidentally cheat on someone,” now you were the one sounding defeated.

You let out a deep sigh, shoulders sagging.

“I’m asking for two things now. Two and that’s it,” you told him. “Don’t bother with me anymore, it seems like you never really cared anyways. And tell her,” you said sternly.

“You fucking tell that girl that you were seeing two people cause that’s not fair to any of us. Especially to her now,” you look him in the eyes one last time before moving your gaze to the ground instead.

But with that you turned away, the second time from his house in two days, and left him standing in the doorway.

He watched you walk away.

Oikawa never did that second thing.

He realized he hadn’t even done the first one.

He hadn’t stayed away when you told him to, instead he’d tapped you on the shoulder and said ‘hi’ as if nothing had ever happened.

He needed some time to think.

And by now it was almost seven, so he grabbed a water bottle and jacket and left the apartment.

At least Oikawa left a note for when Akira woke up.

As Oikawa walked—to where, he didn’t know—he thought about how much you’d loved him.

How you’d put your all into showing it and how he would deflect it with sex or another topic of conversation. It was incredible how much and how long you’d loved him; especially now that he’d realized how badly he’d loved you back.

Oikawa wished the Earth were flat as he walked.

It’d make walking off the end of it much easier.

PART THREE

#oikawa x reader #oikawa x male reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x male reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x male reader #x reader #x male reader #x m!reader

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pikakehimesama · 5 years

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Get to Know Me!

I was tagged by @savagexyoongi Thank you so much! I enjoy being tagged in things!

I tag: whoever sees this do it if you’d like!

name: y’all can call me Jamie!

nicknames: none bc I use an alternative name

gender: female

zodiac: libra

height: 5′2″ or 157 cm

time: 12:59 PM

favorite musicians: (i’ll limit each genre to 5 max) K-pop = SHINee, VIXX, Super Junior, Big Bang, NCT

J-pop = LM.C, Kenshi Yonezu, Alexandros, LiSA

song stuck in my head: Happiness by Red Velvet. bc the song just ended at the chorus is now stuck in my head.

last thing i googled: 5′2″ to CM because i live in America and we’re too proud to switch to the metric system.

last movie i saw: I want to say Infinity Wars on Netflix because I love having my heart destroyed and disintegrated thanks to Thanos.

last song i listened to: Instagram by Dean

other blogs: my personal one but yeah. not gonna link that lol

do i get asks: not really, but i’m always down for any! send me anything!

why did i choose my username: It’s the same one i have on AFF but with the correct spelling ahahha.

following: 102

amount of sleep i get: probably 4 hours during the week, 12 on the weekend.

lucky numbers: hmm, don’t think I have any but my favorite number is 2 & 22.

what i’m wearing: An off-the shoulder top, shorts, and nike shoes.

dream job: work at a company travels for work between Asia and America (where I’m from.)

dream trips: Thailand, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and France (to visit again: Japan, S. Korea & Canada)

favorite foods: Spam Musubis, Eggs, and Takoyaki.

instruments: I learned and can play the Clarinet and Flute. I’ve self taught myself piano (extremely beginner status though), and I’ve played the french horn, and trombone.

favorite songs: Forreals? I mean, I guess Ready or Not by SHINee or 1000年ずっとそばにいて by SHINee, or Run by BTS, or Hyde by VIXX, or Wolf by EXO (Wolf is EXO’s best song. Don’t at me)

relationship status: not sexy, but free, and single by Super Junior

favorite colors: Pink, Green, and Pearl Aqua.

three books:

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Quan

i don’t read books too often bc they expensive. If y’all want mangas thooo...

Shugo-Chara!

Shokugeki no Souma

Strobe Edge

fanfics thoo.... (not finished)

New Rules by Tayegi

Sincity by btssmutgalore

fanfics thoo... (finished)

Roommates by Tayegi

Off-limits by floralseokjin

Along the Boardwalk by cupofteaguk

three tv shows:

Pretty Little Liars

Gossip Girl

but Animes & Dramas thooo...

Animes

Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn

That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime

Kaichou wa Maid Sama

Dramas

Doctors

Goblin

Memories of Alahambra (tbh, anything with Park Shinhye is good)

book i’m reading now: uh not reading but it’s the audio version of Crazy Rich Asians.

how many blankets do you sleep in: two

anything i want: I want to be in Japan already lol, and to SHINee IRL, but like they hate me so I won’t see them until after 2021 :( Will I see any of my favorites ever? That’s the only thing I want...

lol, this was fun. Hope you got to know me a bit!!

#姫様 rambles #kpop tag #about me

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sugagummi · 7 years

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elixir of truth; chapter one

AN: Hey! So, I saw a post on @dhar16 a week or so ago about wondering who should be shipped after ACOWAR. But they had the brilliant mind about Briar, the human girl that was saved in the Hybern camp, to be shipped with Azriel!

But, Briar has no background, so I gave her one. I’m basically trying to build her character. (May have done a sucky job at that, thooo). This chapter will be dedicated to that! Also, this could be a very serious fan-fiction that I’m thinking of continuing? Let me know of you like it, I absolutely love love love seeing that my writing is being read.

I have my other Azriel fanfic, “MIRRORED SHRED” with my own OC, Valeryth, paired with Azriel, but that’s more of a short story. I’m thinking of making it ten parts, because it’s just something that I wrote to get over my PTSD of acowar.

And, also, I just wanted to say that Briar in a way is sort of my character but also SJM’s. I mean, we really don’t know if Briar is gonna ever appear, but for now, I’m just making up a new scenario. So yeah, ENJOY! and excuse the typos lololol

MASTERLIST

| next chapter >>>

" She was strong though, she knew that. Because no matter what the whip, the teeth, blood and pain, Briar pulled through. She bested the Hybern soldiers. Until death, Briar will remember that.”

Growing up, hearing the stories that were told of the vicious faeries in the North, Briar always wanted to believe that wasn’t always the case. That the war to free the humans of their slavery said otherwise.

She still believed in that, but she knew that with good always came the bad. And she had experienced those who are bad, and was subjected to immense pain and suffering at the hands of Hybern. She still wondered why she, of all the humans that she saw mutilated and violated, survived.

And perhaps she was an idiot, to follow her mother and older sisters. The Children of the Blessed--Briar should’ve stayed with her father, who knew there was potential in her other than to worship fae.

She was strong though, she knew that. Because no matter what the whip, the teeth, blood and pain, Briar pulled through. She bested the Hybern soldiers. Until death, Briar will remember that.

In the meantime, Briar’s situation in the Night Court was complicated. Since the war had ended, the High Lord, Rhysand sanctioned her as a refugee along with other humans that were taken from their homes behind the wall. Though, the amount of humans that left back for their lands did not feel comfortable for Briar. She was not like these fae, and if she told them what she was and what she believed in, then they would look at her with disgust. Same would go for her kind on the southern lands. They always did look at her mother like that.

Briar was even disgusted with herself. All she felt, when the Illyrian male Azriel let her walk from her capturers, was shame. She let her mother and sister suck her into this mess. She saw her mother and sister die, screaming. Briar would’ve cried, but the time for tears was gone. She wouldn’t allow herself to cry in front of the fae.

How long had it been since the War? A few week? Maybe months? How long could she stand being separated from her father, who was out there, learning about his gifts? Briar couldn’t help but feel like time was running out for her.

She put off her wants after war, and focused on her needs. She had several scars, all mostly lined to her back and wrists. Her skin was sickly pale, but spending her days in Velaris walking and exploring for herself had helped return her skin to its natural honey glow.

At first, when exploring Velaris, she tended to keep to herself and distance from the other humans. Though, what brought her out of her shell was the fae children that would always run around her, and then past her. Those children were what always brought Briar out of her shell. Few days they would ask if she wanted to draw on the floor, and she couldn’t help but say yes. They’re parents would be off in the Rainbow street, trusting Briar would sit down an draw beside their children. Maylee was one of the children she liked to call her friend and who had a knack for painting on herself.

Other days, when Briar really did need time to herself, she would head off to the shores. It was a long walk, and she would spend an entire day just to get there, but she loved it nonetheless. It reminded her of her home, when she was a child, with her father and his knacks for potion making. He always enjoyed the sea, and would take Briar to go clam-fishing. A few times, after eating the insides of a clam, she could remember her father drying the shells so that he could crush them to fine powder. Another clue to what he had been hiding all her life--to what she had to figure out herself in the hells of Hybern’s camp.

Briar also liked the food. It was always made with honesty, and integrity. Briar often went to a sweets store or even a bread bakery. She recalled her two eldest sisters (who were not sucked into their mothers fanatics) loved caramel truffles--and Velaris perhaps had the best. Few times would Briar visit the meats shops, a little shaken by the animal blood, but instead she took a keen taste of fruits and nuts.

Farms were far from Velaris, but with a help of a dear mentor, Briar ended going to one last week. She never went to one, but was in awe to see fae looking over their livestock and caring for the food they send out.

That was all her time spent in this lovely place named Velaris. The place that made her not hate herself for being a fool to believe in some truths about The Blessed. Briar will always know there are dangerous fae, but here, in Velaris, she was safe. She knew she would be safe.

Came around the time of spring was when Briar felt a shift in the people of Velaris. The parents of the children Briar spent her time with warned Briar to not go walking anymore, to hide herself.

“Why?” In the near year that Briar spent in the fae realms, there hasn’t ever been a problem. Not in Prythian or Velaris.

Maylee’s father, Mark, only shook his head. “The people of Hewn City are coming this season for Starfall.”

Briar tensed. She did hear about the Court of Nightmares that was in Hewn City. Those were the fae she should worry about. “When do they come?”

“The High Lady and Lord are still pushing them back,” he said with a grim tone. “But they are coming nonetheless.”

How thoughtless could she be? She’d been to caught up with herself, to not realize that the only reason she could stay her, was because Velaris was open to anyone. And that included the other half of Night Court...

Thanking Mark, Briar turned her body around and headed back to home.

Home.

Briar wondered how a human could call a fae territory home. Though, she did deserve the place she lived in. Not too long, maybe the start of the fall season, she had become a sort of an alchemist. It was odd, because she was at a bar when a female, short and powerful, had waltzed up to her and asked if she had any experience with chemicals.

Amren had said that the work they do would be under wraps, and even bonded them with a tattoo. Of course, Briar had time to think it through. She knew this short female was part of the Inner Circle, and knew the people that saved her, but she had to say yes. It was as though this High Fae knew what Briar was trying to accomplish in her time at Night Court. Also, Amren offered to pay Briar, which seemed odd because the former needed an apprentice.

They often concocted odd potions, milder ones. Some would be for sleep or a better digestion system. It was all practice for Briar. Amren would not let her near the more experimental route until Briar knew the basic fundamentals.

Home was just a few blocks ahead. The streets around were almost deserted, only a few males scuffling around and trying to close shop. The females stayed closer to the stores, hunching over their children or themselves. Briar quickened her pace, skipping with the need to be holed up and safe and away for a little while--

“By the Cauldron,” a deep male voice drawled. “You must be the tenth human I’ve seen today.”

Briar wished she never froze. She reminded herself that she was no match against fae--never the less, Nightmare Court fae. Alas, her limbs did move but they were jelly and slow. Leave me alone, she wanted to say.

A tug on her long, black hair nearly toppled her over from fright. The male had gotten close enough to sniff at her, and then sigh.

“Oh, you’re those freaky humans,” he said with disdain. “Thought you all went extinct.”

Briar’s throat burned. That’s exactly what the Hybern soldiers said to her and her sister when they caught them. She wanted to scream at the thought, and scream at the fae.

“Are you shy to turn and look at my pretty face?”

Briar braced for the worse, but she never got it. A relief. Maybe he decided to leave her. Obviously that was never her luck. The fae only stepped around her, and Briar was able to face this male.

A gasp was stifled from her mouth. She’d always expected Hewn City fae’s to be more stocky and grittier than the delicate looks in Velaris, but she was wrong in this case.

He was pretty, as said before. His eyes were a mystery, either brown or hazel depending on where the lights of the streets hit. She could tell that he was supposed to have darker skin, but perhaps weather in Hewn City made him paler. Framing his face was golden blonde hair, thick and lucious and odd. A splash of uneven freckles lined across his cheeks and nose and forehead, almost like her own. He was tall and a bit on the skinny side of fae, but Briar wouldn’t miss that muscle that bulged right under his black tunic--

Briar cursed herself for starring too long. She must’ve for so long, because the fae in front of her was smiling broadly. And it irked her.

“Leave me alone,” she spat. Briar shocked herself enough to turn her face red. She went to walk around him, tense with the sense that he may grab her arm.

But no, he did not. He only turned and followed her small frail body quickly get away.

“I hope to see you at Starfall, witchling,” he called out smugly.

#azriel fanfiction #azriel x briar #briel #briziel #azriar #acowar fanfiction #acomaf fanfiction #acotar #acowar #rhysand #feyre #azirel #cassian #sarah j maas #sjm #feysand smut #Feysand

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