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terrencetheshark14 · 6 days

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Thinking about time loops thinking about time loops thinking about time loops

"Why would you go back?" "why would you do that to yourself?" "Doesn't it hurt so much?"

You don't understand you can't understand you weren't there you didn't experience it you don't know

It hurts but it's all I have left it's going to be better next time I know it I know it even as the knife goes in my back again even as it stays the same I know it's going to be better because it can't keep going this way

It gets better it gets better it getsbetteritgetsbetterITGETSBETTERITGETSBETTER

I have to get out I need to stay

just one more loop, just one more loop, just one more loop

day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after

it's always the same, but there's still that glimmer of hope, isn't there? Because it's gonna be different, just one more loop

just one more. just two more. just three. just ten. just fifty. just a hundred. just one more loop.

"Doesn't it hurt?" isn't the hurt all I have left? There's comfort in the repetition the repetition the repetition. How could there not be? In here you don't have to face out there. And that hurt is much, much, more painful

The same pain over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again dulls over time, even while it takes more and more each loop. But out there? That's new pain, that's a change in schedule, that's something different, and you don't want difference, do you? That's why you're here isn't it? Desperately hoping for the next loop to change, when the change is out there. You know it's out there. Deep down the repetition is comforting, the blade in your back keeps you steady, you wouldn't want to face the unknown, would you?

Oh it's beautiful? Well it hurts just as much, and you know it. You know you can't face it out there, with no one to help you, none of that disconcerting familiarity. The familiar pain is oh so much better than unfamiliarity, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?

You can keep going around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and hope it changes, the only change that will happen is if you make it. But you're not willing, you're too easily taken in by the familiar, comforting, pain.

It's so much easier to hope for change than to work for it. Just one more loop, right? One more loop, right? One more loop one more just one one one one one one

Just one more loop and I'll get to the end of the circle, one more loop and there's something different, right?

You can get out whenever you want, but you don't want to, do you? You don't want to, you don't want to

You can stay here forever, right? You can stay here forever. You can stay here forever. You can stay here forever. Stay here forever. Stay here forever. Stay here forever. Stay here forever. Stay here

"Why don't you just leave?" I can't, you don't understand, I tried, I can't, I don't want to, it hurts so much, but out there? Out there it hurts even more

Don't ask me how I know, because I don't. I only know what the time loop told me and it told me I can't leave, it told me I don't want to, that it will hurt, that we're already so deeply connected that to escape would kill us both. You don't understand, it hurts too much. You haven't died the way I have, you haven't lived, haven't hurt, haven't seen what I've seen.

Let me out, please let me out, please let me out, please let me out, please let me do it again, please let me do it again, please let me do it again, please let me do it again, please let me do it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again I can't leave just let me leave let me loop let me leave let me loop let me leave let me loop let me leave let me loop

Don't go, don't go or we both die because too much of ourselves is contained within the other, I can't leave you and you can't leave me, a self sustaining system

You're me and I'm you and I can't leave without killing you and I can't kill you without dying in the process

#terryposting #time loop #time loops #oh that was a lot of writing huh

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staypuff · 1 year

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thanks @m-chromatic for the color palette challenge. it was very fun. my face at the end is not how i felt about the experience. dont worry about it i had a great time.