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charaznablespeteevee · 2 months

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Would you share your thoughts on the Gundam you've seen? I added the first one to my list based on your posting about it (mostly the transition Char posting, he sounds like a fascinating character) and am not on Twitter to see your liveposting

Good question!! It seems like you want to know if I'd rec them so I'll answer based on that.

The original Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) absolutely I would rec to literally any anime fan. Both because it is a genuinely good anime, but equally because it's like. You know how people say you have to read the Bible to get all the references to the Bible in literature? It's like that. Gundam is one of the Bibles for anime. It's in everything. And you won't realize this until you watch it.

It's also a very good science fiction show just in general. The major characters are all great, the drama is compelling, and while some of the animation has not aged well, the newtype stuff has some super neat effects that are gorgeous to see on a big screen to this day.

It's also super accessible, the full show is available on Crunchyroll or if you don't want to commit watching a 43 episode show the three compilation movies are on Netflix and are a very solid alternative.

Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam (1985) - they got a big budget upgrade so everything is Bigger and More. More robots, more character drama, more romance, better music, and some bizarre segues into how men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Absolutely worth a watch if you liked the original Gundam because it continues to follow a lot of the original characters.

Mobile Suit Gundam ZZ (1986) - technically "skippable" if you consider 0079, Zeta, and Char's Counterattack a trilogy, which it kind of is. ZZ focuses on an almost entirely new cast of characters and the first half of the show is VERY heavy on the comedy before jumping directly into some of the best anime I've ever seen for the second half. The mood whiplash is kind of divisive among fans. Personally I like it and the characters are great. Worth a watch if you like what you've seen so far.

Char's Counterattack (1988) - caps off the gayass Amuro/Char rivalry and is just an amazing movie in general. Gorgeous visuals, and the final 15 minutes or so are a series of emotional gut-punches the likes of which I've rarely experienced in media. Must watch IMO.

War in the Pocket (1989) - six episode OVA featuring entirely new characters. This is a truly fantastic little series that lets you into the lives of a small handful of likeable characters and how their lives are affected by war. It's Gundam so guess how that goes. I liked it a LOT and recommend it. BONUS: This is a GREAT "starter" Gundam. It's short, it's very good, and you don't need to know anything about Gundam going in. There's a few references to prior lore, but they aren't anything major and a newcomer could easily figure it all out from context.

Mobile Suit Gundam F91 (1991) - this is a movie that was originally going to be made into a TV show and it shows, they stuffed far too much into too little time and it suffers for it. So unfortunately this is the first thing on this list I probably wouldn't rec. That said the characters are pretty fun and the ending is very good, so you can do a lot worse if you're bored or a completionist.

Mobile Suit Victory Gundam (1993) - this is what I'm watching right now! I'm a little over halfway done with it. This is all new characters and there are some interesting new concepts. For example the first twenty or so episodes were set on Earth so you got some really gorgeous scenery during mobile suit battles that made those scenes really visually distinctive compared to say, a battle in space. That said it's yet to really "pull me in" the way most other Gundam series did. For now I'm still waiting to see if it will do that or not.

Witch From Mercury - I'm assuming everyone knows what this is. It's gay as fuck, what can I say, and it's the entire reason I fell down into this Hell to begin with. 10/10

#ask box

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alexissara · 1 year

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Art I'm Looking Forward To In 2023

I wanted to share the art that I think might be good coming out in 2023. I am not including ongoing art that I am looking forward to not because it doesn't belong here but because I might make another post about those things. I don't want this too be too crowded. Each of this will be given an SPS - Sapphic Potential Score which says how likely I think it is that they will make my lesbian ass happy. These are mostly goofs on what I think is likely not to be taken seriously.

Fire Emblem Engage

This is probably the thing I am most excited about, it's like my whole personality right now, I am obsessed. I really love the wild art style and the gameplay looks really solid. The concept of fusing with old Fire Emblem characters is really cool. The flying base is really awesome and all the fashion and side content looks really cute. I think this could be at the top of Fire Emblem games gameplay wise.

I do have worries about this game, narratively it seems rather basic, fight an evil dragon, maybe your half evil dragon, collect the mugffins and kill the big dragon. The game's DLC and Amiibo stuff is frustrating in the amount of content being gated off. The roster size sounds potentially pretty small seemingly going to tie around the same roster size as the smaller casts. I am also worried how Rosardo will be treated and I really hope we avoid a Forrest situation.

That said, I am way more excited then I am worried and I am a dirty little consumer who already pre-ordered the DLC knowing I will play the game day one and I want Edelgard with me. I mostly use my Twitter account to tweet about Fire Emblem Engage nowadays, I am just so excited and if you DM me to talk about the game, I will just gush about it for however long you'll let me. I can't wait and am glad we're getting it near the start of the new year.

SPS: Player Sexual and Historians will say they were besties/10

Arcane Season 2

While Arcane was far from a perfect show for me, I really love the breath taking style of animation and Jinx and look forward to seeing what happens moving forward and if they'll give Vi her terrible canon fate of becoming a cop. I think the character designs are all stunning and seeing the animation in motion is just so captivating I can't help but be enraptured in the show and want to watch more.

Not to mention the actual character interactions are all really engaging with brilliant voice acting from everyone involved really capturing the world. It's never boring when things are on screen even when the politics are mid at best. Ekko also presents what appears to be a solar punk anarchist alterative in season 1 but we'll see how that is handled by the show.

This show is a blessing and a curse, with the curse being now I know all this League OF Legend lore cuz I got really curious after and started playing Legends Of Runeterra but Legends Of Runeterra is one of the most interesting card games out there, so not a total loss. I know I'll be going into season 2 very different now knowing about all the things from the games where as before I really didn't think of this little war between countries in a wider nerd universe context. I am really interested on how I'll enjoy.

SPS: Directors Says It's Canon but not on screen/10

Assorted Entanglements, Vol. 1

I love myself some Yuri manga and while I prefer a more action forward Yuri I do like a Slice of life from time to time and having an anthology of stories bout women loving women who are adults or at least one story features an adult is exciting.

This little collection of yuri manga sounds really cute. I don't have a lot to say about it, I don't even know what all is in it, I just like the sound of it.

SPS: No Queer ID But Very Gay/10

Super Lesbian Animal RPG

[Technically this is out very soon but ya know, end of the year lists are already up and I won't beat this till next year]

I've been looking forward to this game for a long time, I've been backing the creator for probably 2 years maybe 3 now on the dev journey. Whatever the number from the first time I played the demo I was hooked on this sweet little indie RPG. The character designs are adorable and colorful, the kissing mechanic is so cute, and really this is just what I want out of a game.

I really love when games just sell their queerness on the tin, I hate having to go and just randomly play a game and hope to the goddess queer coded or characters I just like are gay, here, I already know I am gonna get gay after gay after gay. Also having the protagonist be a trans woman is really cool and super rare to this day in the industry.

This game looks like it'll be one of my favorite games of all time not just next year and I can't wait to finally start playing it. Please check this game out, support indie queer art.

SPS: Ooops All Lesbians/10

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady Season 1

This series has a delightful name but seems to be far from the typical isekai fair. The series is a yuri and it is far less focused on the girl being super awesome because her past life and instead kinda treat her knowing about her past life as a thing that causes her to have a disability in this world. The Genius Young Lady makes magical inventions because she can't use magic, so she learned how to make items that make magic happen.

The girl is super sweet and kind and it doesn't feel gross at all. It's more or less just a fantasy story with the Isekai seemingly thrown in for getting the book published. It's a really interesting series that I haven't gotten very far in but I think this is going to be a super special anime. I really think this year might end up giving me my favorite animes of all time.

SPS: Yuri/10

Asumi-chan is Interested in Lesbian Brothels! Vol. 1

[Technically this is out now but I haven't read it and won't get to it till next year] In terms of upcoming Yuri manga this isn't one I am sure I am gonna grab right away but it is one I am intended to grab whenever I can. Sometimes you want something a bit more horny then your chaste "do I like her" vibes. In particular what has me excited about this one because it actually is invoking Lesbian identity.

It is shockingly rare for sapphic manga in general but in particular yuri to talk about sexuality. We get homosexuality without sapphic identities, lives, problems, etc. I love when we are more zoomed into the real world way we use labels and we explore ourselves and communicate ourselves. While it's not "needed" to tell a sapphic story, I do think it adds a lot to bring in queerness.

Plus, I mean, a girl going to Lesbian Brothels, that's cool, i'm in.

SPS: Horny Lesbian's Wanted/10

Street Fighter 6

Of all the fighting game series, Street Fighter isn't my favorite but it might become my favorite thanks to this game. The massively in depth character creator seems to be beyond what any other game is providing in the whole industry. The utterly stunning range of possibilities is just so captivating that I am compelled to buy this game simply to dress up my character.

I really enjoy playing fighting games even if I am not particularly great at them. There was a time where I really strives to be a competitive level player and that did include playing SF4 a lot. While playing that game I fell in love with Juri and her returning here also really drew me in, plus following Chun-li's arc as a mother finally after so many years from SF3 where she adopted her child.

My only real worries for this is DLC prices and general business practices along with if I'll be able to use my OC creations in casual vs modes where I feel I should be able to use them. I hope the DLC isn't priced poorly and I really hope you can take your OCs to casuals even if they have to commit to one characters moveset instead of the custom ones from World Tour Mode.

SPS: Just say Juri is gay already/10

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Season 2

Technically this is an ongoing series but there will be a break between seasons so, it goes here, I make the rules. I love The Witch From Mercury so far, Sulleta is adorable, I think her and Mio are cute together, I think the cast is fun and the action is stunningly animated. I have loved season 1 so far, I only didn't include it in my list of art that touched me this year because season 1 isn't done yet and won't be done till next year too. Bad endings could for sure ruin this but ahhh I love this show.

This show has really great characters, so many shitty people I hate but I hate in a great way. Then it has characters I fucking love like Sulleta, Chuchu, and Prospera who are just fucking amazing top level characters, best characters in the biz. Then there is the utterly stellar action, I mean take my breath away, I love this shit. It really is just really fucking good.

I can't help but worry that the show will fail to deliver actual queerness but it really doesn't seem like it will. Still, I can't help but worry about it. I also worry about the story kinda falling off in season 2 but I really don't know what is gonna happen, all I know is I am locked in right now and excited every Sulleta Sunday.

SPS: Two sad Keychains Falling Down in a dark room/10

Wake The Living 2

While I hadn't become instantly hooked on the original Wake The Living, the improvements to the game for the sequel is utterly thrilling. With the game already being very queer and having a fun more gothic edge to most SRPGs it really is setting up a familiar yet strange little world to enter.

What really sold me on this game was the developer talking about wanting to have canon polyamory as a major part of the story and about how canon queerness not just player choice mattered to them so it really pulled me in and I still really want to beat the original before I play Wake The living 2. The first game is out for free, right now, go get it, it costs nothing if you don't like it you can delete it from your steam.

SPS: Polycule Party/10

I'm In Love With The Villainess Season 1

[Warning, kinda spoilers except I don't say who does what]

I'm In Love With The Villainess has it all, I can only hope that the anime gets to go on long enough for us to see it. We got demons, trans women, lesbians who get married and adopt some kids, revolutions and so much more. The series is really good and gay and written with tons of passion by a queer woman.

This I suppose has long passed being an indie series but it was a little webnovel that good and made it's way all the way to being an anime thanks to fan support, which has also been a large amount of queer fans. This anime is really exciting and I honestly can't wait and hope this brings in way more fans to this amazing series.

SPS: A queer revolution/10

Granblue Fantasy Relink

I love the Granblue Fantasy's gacha game world, it's a totally unethical business' model and I hope it becomes Illegal but I love the game. Granblue Fantasy is one of the queerest games of it's scale around. Now most queer readings of characters are readings and they use the word friends but there is explicitly a few queer characters with stated queer desires, Vira Lillie is attracted to women, Katarina in particular but her bio says women generally, then Katarina as a level above. Cagliostro and Ladiva are both expressly trans women in their stories, they do not use the label of trans but both are explicitly trans, although only Cagliostro gets the "female" Gender marker from the game. Rosetta who is confirmed to be playable in this game is explicitly bisexual with her bio mentioning she is attracted to men and women. There is more and then a lot more subtexty characters.

This is to say that I really love queer characters in games and being able to play them in a really stunning action RPG is fucking exciting as hell. No gacha mechanics, no microtransactions [probably], and a full story that is playable start to finish. It also is gonna have online co-op! This game sounds fucking perfect honestly, like it's so cool and looks so good, I am frankly dazzled at the amount of work that went into this given it's a spin off RPG of a Gacha RPG.

I have worries about potential annoying DLC practices, in particular if in GBF awards will be locked to playstation buyers again leaving PC players in the dust. I also worry about the roster, right now we know all the Dragon Knights are in and the main crew of the Grand Cypher but that's like it. It isn't exactly an exciting cast. I'd like to see a lot more characters and hope a lot of popular ones aren't gated off to DLC like they were in Grandblue Fantasy Verus. Regardless, I am excited and look forward to giving this a stab.

SPS: Canon Queers Who Never Have It Mentioned In This Game/10

----

That's everything for this one, if you know any lesbian/Sapphic/WlW/yuri stuff coming out next year please comment or DM or whatever, ultimately I want to engage all of it I can. If your excited for something I am excited for hit me up, we can chat about it. Otherwise, you can find me talking about my artistic work here or support me making it and nerdy shit like this at https://www.patreon.com/AlexisSara.

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slow-button-off · 2 years

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Once again i wanna say just how much i love your blog and your posts. I wanna cram every info inside my brain ngl so that I am able to understand the races in a different light. Can i ask for some recs for extra reading or youtube vlogs to understand the races better? I saw some resources on your page (such as the f1 tech reddit page and some youtube pages too) and i m checking those out too so that i can understand the tech side better and their choices for strategies and all that. Thank you ♥️

Thank you so much!

If anyone else has other resources that they think are great then please feel free to add them because I 100% forgot someone!

This is just a list of imo relevant content it's not all just about races and strategy some are about the technical side but I figured I'd include them anyway.

Tumblr

@race-week Makes brilliant posts like track previews and explains a lot of things. Also you get the occasionally free cat picture so for sure worth a follow.

Their pinned post has links to some really good overview posts for other resources and all sorts of other good things.

Video Content

Formula 1 Tech Talks It's official F1 content with different people. They always talk about something relevant to specific races and it's often very informative and interesting.

There is this playlist from the Tech Talk Demos that talk about about a lot of different F1 car parts and demonstrate how they work.

There are more Tech Talks but not all are in that playlist so you just have to search the youtube channel for it.

Chainbear on YouTube He makes a lot of content about like everything! He has a video about Hungary strategy. He pretty much has a video about how and why things went down the way that they did about most races, lovely illustrations/ animation and explains things really well.

Or this video about the basics of race strategy as a whole.

He also has some videos about technical things like tyres, and engines and these sort of things. He is one of the best entry points into learning about how things work and why they happen the way they do.

Driver61 on YouTube He talks more about driver specific things and used to be a racing driver. So he has videos on things like how Checo is so good at saving his tyres.

brrake on YouTube and twitch He used to be a performance engineer for multiple F1 teams and was working for RB recently (he brings it up any chance he has). His personality is not for everyone but his videos are still informative and interesting and he does know what he is talking about. He also does race and quali watchalongs if that's your thing. Ahead of qualifying he ususally looks at some data from FP3 and analyses it on stream, but you can watch them back. He also now has a podcast but I haven't listened to a single episode no clue how good that one is.

His video about the Dutch GP is really interesting.

f1toni is on TikTok and twitch (I've only seen her TikToks) she talks a lot about F1 things in general like all aspects of F1, history, the regs, contracts and so on. And often highlights Women in Motorsport. Really worth a follow if you have TikTok.

Molly @ abunchofredf1ags on TikTok She's an engineer and makes a whole bunch of videos about again all sorts of things. Not all videos are super serious but she also explains a lot of tech things.

Twitter accounts

Sara @ _allthatglitz on twitter For Ferrari related things, has calm takes most of the time and does like a bit of analysis. Fights anyone that is remotely rude to Charles. But knows what she is talking about.

@ F1Techy Does some analysis and talks about other tech related F1 things too. For example has a post about the RB vs Ferrari strategy in Monza.

@ GuilyDuchessa He is a journalist for Formula Uno and great for general Ferrari infos and news but also writes articles where he analyses things. They are always in Italian so you if you translate it somethings are gonna sound weird but the rest makes sense. Also talks about car upgrades and their impact amongst other things.

@ ProjectF1 Does analysis on twitter and has some lovely plots.

@ ScarbsTech Tweets a lot about the technical aspects and upgrades and all sorts of technical things. He is one of the guys that does the F1 Tech Talk that is featured on F1TV.

So these are my first immediate recommendations. I'm sure I missed someone.

#📨

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arwainian · 2 years

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My Reading This Week

formatting changes, what do we think about italics for book titles and authors to set them apart from what I write about them? (maybe i should try color coding?)

Lots of reading this week because I had half the week off to go home for the holidays, but honestly I spent more time crocheting than reading, which I won't complain about

Finished:

Boy Oh Boy by Zachary Doss

recommended to me by @unfathomabletortoise , and I'm still rotating the themes and such of it around in my head. one that was on my mind this week was where your boyfriend lives literally inside your body. the like... "oh i'm so close to you, i'm with you all the time" but really you're not close at all you're just being used. but ALSO the intimacy of loving someone so much, physical affection as the closest substitute we have to unzipping someone else and living inside them... much to think about. as I said on my Twitter thread, I may recommend this collection to my queer scifi teacher from a few years back

Ambrosia, edited by Tab Kimpton & Jade Sarson

started reading this a while back! i will keep most of my thoughts on this private ;), but i will say I'm glad this exists

Started and Finished:

Lucky Charm by Chase Verity

this was cute, but just. so short. too short. like how short it was really worked to its detriment because I think it could have really benefitted from taking more time to flesh out the characters and their relationship. i really enjoyed the concwpt though and it made me want to look into deaf silent film stars (have yet to do so, someone remind me)

Mob Psycho 100, Vol. 9 by ONE, translated by Kumar Sivasubramanian

mp100!! i just. really like this manga. i dont have many longering thoughts from this volume except just like excitement at its existence and god i love reigen and mob and this was fun to read even if i already watched the anime

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots by Cat Sebastian

i was about to say i thought i didnt have much to say about this one. but then i remembered that actually i do, i even started my brand new reading journal saying stuff about it: this was cute and sweet and low stakes! i am technically in the acknowledgements of this book by virtue of being in the author's writing discord server, which she mentions! I will say, there were a few too many [typos/apparent name mix ups/one instance where a character says "fifth disease" in a bit of dialogue which was clearly just meant to be a placeholder for an actual disease to add to the list] for me to fully overlook, so i got a little bit frutrated. doesnt take away from the good character work, but did give it a bit of an unfinished feeling

Uncommon Charm by Emily Bergslien & Kat Weaver

like the above this book is more quiet vignette and low stakes character work than plot-y plot, but this book just hit Perfectly for me. i think because i loved the narrator/pov character so much. i am gently shoving this novella into my bf's hands when i next see him.

Ongoing:

Blood Sisters: Vampire Stories by Women edited by Paula Guran

La Dame by Tanith Lee Chicago 1927 by Jewelle Gomez Renewal by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro Blood Freak by Nancy Holder The Power and the Passion by Pat Cadigan The Unicorn Tapestry by Suzy McKee Charnas This Town Ain't Big Enough by Tanya Huff Vampire King of the Goth Chicks by Nancy A. Collins Learning Curve by Kelley Armstrong The Better Half by Melanie Tem Selling Houses by Laurell K. Hamilton Greedy Choke Puppy by Nalo Hapkinson Tacky by Charlaine Harris Needles by Elizabeth Bear From the Teeth of Strange Children by Lisa L. Hannett

I said last week that I had trouble sitting down and reading multiple stories from this in a row, but that was not a problem for me this time! as of writing i only have five stories left to read from this anthology, and those amount to less than 100 pages.

i've idenfitied a repeated theme (though not one present in even half the stories here) of several lady vampires presenting a sort of 'to defeat a predator you have to become one' rape-revenge sort of monster hunting fantasy. like i said, this is FAR from a uniting theme, but its an interesting motif. also several stories deal with very predatory vampires without being the above, and having read Dracula earlier this year i appreciate vampire fiction grappling with the themes of vampirism and sexual assault that were set up in the classics

#cal reading log #arwainian princessoid decrees #bookblr

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fiercely-raging-writer · 2 years

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Get ready for A BIG List of books.

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.K. Clume I can't recommend this book enough. Found family, gay, screw the beaurocracy, a little bit of fantasy, and all around just amazing. Quite literally my comfort book.

Illuminae Files by Amy Kaufman and Jay Kristoff Sci-fi, told via documents. Funny but also action packed. Also a little bit of found family. (the last scene in the third book kills me /pos) Warning for violence and some gore.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel Idk what you'd call it genre-wise, but possibly the best-written book I have ever read. Gorgeous writing, and a beautiful story. Warning for world-ending plague, so maybe don't read it in early 2020 if you have anxiety. (cough, cough, like i did)

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo My favorite book of all-time, I think. Found family, LGBTQ+ and POC rep, hillarious, amazing plot, incredible characters. Idk how much more i can say, since I think just about everyone has heard about this book by now. Let me just say that the TV show is shit compared to the book.

Viscious by V.E. Schwab (and sequels: Vengeful + ExtraOrdinary) morally grey found family. An AMAZING take on superpowers (you get powers by dying and coming back (heart stops but restarts),and your powers are determined by your last thoughts). MAJOR warning for violence, though. And one animal death.

Ranger's Apprentice Series by John Flannagan Technically middle-grade, but I adore them deeply and they still hold up as entertaining to me now at 18. Lighthearted and quick reads.

Anything by Rick Riordan (if you haven't read Percy Jackson, what are you even doing with your life? /j /lh)

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein Women pilots and special operatives during WWII. Amazing, incredible, still rips my heart out even after ~4 readings.

Okay, there's my huge list of suggestions, adjakdjs. I'm so sorry for making you read all of this. And sorry for it being 99% sci-fi/fantasy, but those are really my favorite genres.

~ Morri 🗡(@memento-morri-writes)

CANNOT thank you enough for all of these omg.

the house of the cerulean sea sounds really REALLY good!!!! i mean it's literally all i love in a book so i will def check it out :DD

and i've heard of illuminae!! it was recommended to me by a close friend, i'm glad to see you've liked it too :D AND it's in the form of documents 👀👀👀 officially intrigued fkjfsjkdjks

[morrigan WHY. would you do that to yourself. smH. i am gently patting your head.]

I'VE READ SIX OF CROWS!!!!!!!!! it was INSANE and it made me so unbearably happy when i tell you i was grinning for the next week after reading the book i'm not lying. and yeah, the show definitely doesn't do it justice. hopefully we'll get more of the crows in the second season 👀

viscious, [you know how many times i typoed that one word. sigh] from what i've heard, sounds AMAZING and also that is a very interesting way to get powers, it's the first of its kind and it's a very cool origin story tbh. also morally gray characters my beloved <33

i haven't read the ranger's apprentice, but i have read the outcasts series by the same author!!! and i remember getting a sneak peak into the first book and being really intrigued. more incentive to read it now :DD

!!!! that sounds beyond cool, and any book that still incites Feels after many rereads is one worth reading.

i have read all of rick riordan's books!!!! it's been ages since i've actually sat down and reread all of them because i read most of them in elementary school [in like second-third grade] and i still remember how i tore through the whole blood of olympus series in like four days. i was obsessed with the riordanverse. to say the least.

no do not apologise!!!! i haven't read enough fantasy for how much i write it and it's one of my favourite genres, and sci-fi, when done well, is right up there with the others :DDD so thank you!!!!! so much!!!!

#when i get around to reading any of these i might just yell about them to you 😭 you've been warned fkhdfhjsjd #morri <3 #to read #save #asks

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cascadingthroughthedeep · 8 months

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ADHD or Autism. Maybe one falls into the other. Something is wrong, something has always been fucking wrong.

It's always getting worse. Some days I feel like it's going to get better because I learn something new after each breakdown. But when I yet again break down, I feel like I haven't learnt a thing.

It always plays on my mind how I was missed. How girls where always fucking missed. Probably more so by women teachers, ADHD mothers who never realized they had it. There was so many signs. Core memories. Trauma memories. I didn't even have to be thought of to have development issues, they could've just picked up on how scared I was of everything, how I got continuously bullied, how I never fit in and gave me guidance.

They gave me grommits when I was young, because everything was too fucking loud, and I cried if there was two loud noises at the same time. My mum hinted to me to pretend I couldn't hear the faint beeps because she knew something was definately wrong with me, so they thought something was wrong with my actual hearing.

Health Anxiety has currently got it's claws into me. The doctors can't even call me to tell me if I'm on the ADHD referral list. I thought I'd been on it for over a year already, but apparently there was some kind of error and they will call me to keep me updated. No. Nothing. Weeks ago.

I've recently received a Distinction in Animal Management technical diploma, ready to spread my wings in the animal industry. Need to drive for all of them. Let's drive. No. Can't drive because all the waiting lists are on pause because of COVID.

I am willing to put this work in and the world is telling me no.

I can't take antidepressants anymore because I get ground shattering migraines, and I'm constantly numb. It's a loose loose.

Please do not tell me to just exercise, set a routine, mediate and eat well because you know there is no dopomine in any of them at the start. I need to be correctly medicated.

The mood swings are magnificent, though. I screamed in the street the other day and it was fucking liberating. "You fucking cunt!" At a bus driver who just decided not to stop for me, a bus that's every hour. I had about 6p in my bank account and I needed to see my mum (I had a pre paid bus pass).

I smashed in my door, and threw it shut and kicked the living shit out of my stairs. I should probably say my foot. I kicked the shit out of my own foot really because I've had an egg on it for days.

Was thinking about rage rooms, but apparently it's addictive. Makes sense. You go to enough, your brain accepts it as a normal response and you smash up your own house. Fair fair. But this URGE to break things is getting greater.

I'm stuck, so fucking stuck. I can see it, you know. I really can. That line, and it's not so far away.

I've been thinking about starting a vlog thing. I'm a bit out of touch. For those who read my posts, and hear them, which I'm not sure is just a glitch because I can't see who has noted them... what do you think?

I've been on the bones of my ass this month. I feel like I have a shit load to say, and vent about. My dark humour, my honesty, realism, makeup/ eating whislt speaking (I know they're getting the views these days) Has anyone tried this before and it's made it worse on their mental health?

I have this fear that my old high school bullies would find them, and somehow bring me back down on my ass.

I need something. Growing up I had this fucking crave to be liked, I needed to be admired, watched, I loved getting changed Infront of windows at night. I loved the feeling of kissing someone new for the first time, the rush.

I'm settled now. But I need to be heard, more. I need to be listened to, more.

I'm fat and ugly now and, I dont take care of myself because I just can't. All my energy is just working and surviving until my next paycheck. I scrub up okay but fuck, I've gone from an hourglass in office heels to, a circle in Sketchers. There's no other way I can express how I look other than a circle.

The world is bananas. I used to say I want to just live in the wild but the sad thing is now I know what diseases are in the wild, probably not. No escape from this sad little life. The joy has gone, I'm trying SO fucking hard to bring it back.

Something big will happen soon. I can feel it, it has to. I'm bending so hard it's gonna slip and whip me in my saggy fucking face. Or I might just pull driving lessons out my ass and win a car from good life plus.

You know, just something big. Anything.

#ADHD #struggle #autism #adhd adult #vent

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plut00nline · 3 years

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Fuck it im doing it

My 2020 top 20 movie list

(Disclaimer that most of these weren't made in 2020 but I just watched them this year. These aren't also really in a very particular order but they are lowkey ranked) (i also had to be choosey with the images i out cause of the limit, but yeah dont mind that)

20. The perfection

The plot twist in this movie is *chefs kiss* there was no way for me to predict the ending, bug as far as thrillers goes, it is brilliant. And also, lesbians. It can be a pretty triggering movie for ab*se and general gore, but really I love the pacing and the thrill of it.

19. The shining

Ah yes, a classic horror, and though I may feel iffy about Stanley Kubrick, this movie was pretty good. But I am saying this as a person that didn't read the book. The blood rushing down the hallway was really my favourite visual on the movie. It was a movie that made me felt genuinely scared while watching it, like hiding behind my blanket but also sweating scared, the suspense was pretty thrilling though

18. Doctor Sleep

Man do I love Danny Torrance, and Abra, fuck I love them both. Again, I never read the book, but my ignorance keeps me in bliss. The visuals of this movie are also great, and the emotions this movie puts through? I'm just glad headcanons exist, but really I did enjoy this movie even if it wasn't what I was expecting.

17. Birds of prey

Harley deserved a movie, and the fact that it was directed by a woman makes me love it so much more because we just got to see harley doing the things that she fucking wanted. This movie is wlw solidarity, from Margot robbie to Mary Elizabeth Winstead, women with crossbows? Sign me the fuck up. And from all the DC films I've seen, it's so much brighter, in the visual sense, there's colour! There's character! And not everyone is just brooding in darkness, its the type of movie that would make me actually watch and enjoy DC films.

16. Charlie's angels

Firstly, lesbians. Thank you. But really, its a good action comedy and really I'll jump at the chance to see women kick ass.

15. My octopus teacher

I've never cried over an octopus before, so that was an experience. And even though this is technically not a movie, I still wanted to put it on here cause it was really just a great documentary, especially since it happened in my home country and im very oddly proud of that fact.

14. Knives out

Murder mystery and chris evans go so well together. I have made a longer post, but to sum it up, like most of the movies on this list. The colours and the pacing and just the atmosphere of the movie was spectacular, and even though I couldve guessed the ending, I was still on the edge of my seat for most of it

13. Ready or not

I love this new wave of eat the rich media. Samara weaving is a great actor and I am in love with her and this whole movie. It really was something that I hadn't actually seen before and the fact that the whole curse thing at the end was true was really just wow. Along with eat the rich, I love the feral female energy lately, and the whole white clothing slowly but surely being covered in blood.

12. Geralds game

The line "youre only made of moonlight" lives in my head rent free. This movie, was really an experience and for a movie with only two people in it for the majority, it is really well done. I'll always feel iffy about a man writing a woman's experience (specifically) but I do love the way this movie went, yeah I hated the "Hand" scene, but I still enjoyed the after math of it.

11. The old gaurd

Again, more lesbians, what more could I ask for? The concept for this movie is brilliant, immortal mercenaries is the only trope I want from now on, and found family.

10. Parasite

Again with the eat the rich. This movie was mindblowing, and just, the imagery!! And im glad they didn't dub it in English cause fuck that, I enjoyed it perfectly with subtitles.

9. song of the sea

This movie, this movie! Is so precious and I had that song stuck in my head for days.the name Saoirse is also so oddly pleasing to hear. This story is so beautiful, the music is amazing and it makes me want to be a fae.

8. Scott pilgrim vs the world

This movie really did pass what my expectations for what I thought it was gonna be, the music was amazing, the transitions and editing style was *chefs kiss* and even though I felt like I was in a fever dream the whole time, it'd be a fever dream I'd gladly rewatch.

7. The imitation game

Thank you Alan Turing. This movie recked me, like emotionally, I was a mess when I was done with it, but damn was it good, like I really just felt something while watching it, I mean most.of the movies on this list did, but this one just really hit me in some way.

6. Klaus

At least there are still good Christmas movies being made. Actually, I was a mess for this one too, the second that child got that sleigh thing it was over for my emotions. The whole sirge of turning Santa into this big macho dude really is working out and that's how Santa should always be depicted. I could gush about the animation style of this movie all fucking day, I love it so much (and the shadows!!! Ahh the shadows!) It really is just incredible.

5. I'm thinking of ending things

Hey man, I knew this was gonna fuck me up just by looking at the trailer, but there was absolitley no way to prepare for whatever was about to happen. Even after watching it, I have no idea what happened. But I still found it great, I love movies that give me an existential crisis.

4. Spirited away

All I wanted to do, was eat everything in that movie, even if it would turn me into a pig, holy hells this movie is good. There was just this satisfying appeal to it that I can't quite put into words. Its beautiful like everything studio ghibli movie ever.

3. The Willoughbys

I never knew I needed a found family movie with a bunch of kids that were already family. I've made a longer post about this movie, and I dont think I could really say more, this movie is so fucking touching and I love the direction it went in plot wise.

2. Howl's moving castle

Again, I may not have understood wtf was going on, but I'll be damned if I didn't love every second of it. There is no doubt that this movie is stunning, and I really am a suckered for early 2000's 2d animation, because!!! Look at it!!! Studio Ghibli films always just floor me with how good they look. I really wanna read the book, because I would absolutley love to see a feral Sophie giving howl shit for crying over hair.

1. Us

This movie will always be my no. 1 it is amazing and I love everything jordan peele has done with his movies. Especially for it to have a full black cast, and those black people have darker skin than what is normally shown in media. The feral but also calculated nature of each character is beautiful and nothing can ever make me hate this movie

I hope you enjoyed this incoherent "review" of my favourite movies I watched in 2020, its been a shit show and movies really have been a place of comfort for me. But stay safe and happy new year!

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kuronokiseki · 3 years

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A Few Years Had Passed, the BL Genre has Changed Alot... Yet I Still Love Romantica

But seriously, if you love something, is it necessary to have a reason? xD Can't I love something merely because I want to? Like, you don't need to have a reason to like fried chicken amirite?

Ahem. Anyway. Long post ahead.

First of all, it's merely because of a certain shot.

After seeing this for the first time, I was like "This is going to be one of my faves for sure. I'll enjoy every seconds of it. I believe this is a story that I will never forget. I'll constantly look forward to knowing the two and their story more and more."

Proud to say, this still rings true even now!

I have already listed the reasons why I love them so much, so I won't do it again in this post. But for this time, I'll explain why I still love them even after several years, even after I've transitioned from a teen to an adult which would affect my tastes over time, even after I've seen more BL works... even after knowing that there are things that other BLs managed to pull off better.

Flashbacks to the 2000s which I assume was the golden age of this series, where it was the only "watchable" BL anime back then and Sakurai Takahiro did a phenomenal job in portraying Misaki. Almost all of the fujos in internet would at least have heard of this series, and naturally it was massively beloved that 90% of the fujos would hold it as the no. 1 in their top BL list. However, since it is popular, of course there will be a fraction of people who strongly hate it because of a certain scene. Hence, citing it as the epitome of toxic BL lmao.

But of course, things will constantly change as time passed, just like how it's growing evident that BL is only consumed by cishet women is a huge myth, as queer men themselves have started to voice their love towards the genre as well. And it is also possible for ppl who aren't interested in men to enjoy BL, such as the straight guys, lesbians, and asexuals.

Likewise, BL itself is also evolving - newer ones are more aware about the idea of consent although some may still clueless of how healthy relationships work (relationship is more than just sex!). While this may sound subjective, technically there are more and more quality BL works to consume nowadays. In case you are bored with the slice-of-life BL, there is a plethora of fantasy and horror BL out there to choose, moreso when you're aware of webnovel sites like Syosetu. Isekai BL? They're out there.

And it isn't just from Japan, China and Korea are also capable of producing good BL as well. Even BL is getting praised for the more genuine M/M representation compared to how it's generally done in the West (coughcough performative diversity coughcough).

And it doesn't stop there. The series doesn't even need to have a BL label, the MC can still be gay, and the gay romance can still happen despite the plot not centering around that.

There should be no reason to think that it isn't possible for two men to fall for each other nowadays, the teases shouldn't amount to nothing, which alot of non-BLs were guilty of back then. Well, I'm talking abt series that would tease two male characters together but the creators will allow them to be anything but gay for each other. The only time you'd see them as canon gay is in doujins or fanfics.

Hence, you'd only get canon gay couples from series that have been labelled as BL. Luckily, it's no longer a reasonable thing to do in 2021 onwards.

So, thanks to this new golden era of BL or LGBTQA+ representation, since there are so many quality works to indulge yourself, the Junjou Romantica series is getting outdated. I believe alot of the new generation haven't even heard of it ahahaha. When compared to other BL, I'll admit that Junjou won't even fit to be the best or the worst. I'm not saying that Junjou is bad, but it's simply because there are so many BL works now compared to in 2000s. To the point I bet they would discover Junjou because of sheer luck.

Now, I'll get to the point. Why I still love Romantica through these years? Well, just because there are more and newer BLs, doesn't necessarily mean that it is better. While it's true that there are stuff that other BLs do better such as the plot, the characters, and the art, there's something that Romantica does better than others too, in my opinion. That is, Misaki and Akihiko's dynamic.

I love how Misaki and Akihiko are characters of their own whilst loving each other very much. In many BLs I've seen, the dynamic doesn't feel equal, where the MC is generally too busy to think about the ML most of the time (to those who are unfamiliar, it's referring to the main love interest), whereas the ML serves no other purpose to the story other than being the MC's love interest. In comparison, as the MC, Misaki's POV is always 90% USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN USAGI-SAN in every chapter although he faces different problems every single time. As for Akihiko, yea he loves Misaki so much but his character arc isn't limited to that. As outdated as the series would be, this aspect of their relationship, will always be timeless to me.

I've grown to love them so much, that I'll get happy from merely seeing them. Yea I do understand that others will get disappointed of the slow and repetitive plot, the bad art, not to mention after waiting for months for the update, spending money to get it... but all I think when looking at new acts is "OMG it's my babies I miss them so much T-T".

So yea, that's it. I don't ask much, I just want to see Misaki and Akihiko, and nothing more.

#junjou romantica

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the-golden-ghost · 3 years

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i know almost nothing about lupin iii but it looks really fun from the stuff i've seen about it! it's a movie right? series of movies maybe?? what's it about?

It is fun! At least, so far as I’ve seen. I’ve barely seen much of it and will probably never see all the content out there that exists for it, but it’s been a good time!

It’s a long running franchise that basically started with a manga in the 60s (I think?) and has since gotten 5 different anime series and so many dang movies that I can’t even count them all. And a few miniseries spinoffs focusing on side characters (I know Zenigata has one at least, and I think Fujiko has one too?)

The nice thing about it though is that you don’t really need to know much about the series to break in, since it’s pretty much formulaic and doesn’t have an overarching plot where the Status Quo changes drastically. The movies (with maybe like two or three exceptions) are standalone, too. So you can pretty much just Pick A Thing And Go With It.

The plot is about a master thief (the titular Lupin) going about doing Crimes and stealing shit. And sometimes other stuff. He occasionally saves women or stops bad guys from doing Bad Guy Shit (the fact that he himself is technically a bad guy notwithstanding lol) but mostly it’s just him and his friends Causing Trouble For Funsies. In other words, it’s about what happens when you throw a thief, a samurai, a gunman, a femme fatale, and a beleaguered cop together and watch them Commit Hijinks

Personally I’d recommend if you’ve got Netflix watching The Castle of Cagliostro because it’s just easy to find and it’s a solid entry point, it gives you a good intro to the characters and is a very pleasant movie overall.

Or you can just watch the series on Crunchyroll. It doesn’t have any of the movies, but it has all 5 series. They’re titled Part 1, Part 2, etc. but they’re standalone and the “parts” are just the order they were made in. Evidently the “classic” series is actually Part 2. They do have some tonal shifts I know, I haven’t seen them all yet but Part 2 is very cartoonish (kinda reminiscent of Scooby-Doo or other shows from that era but for adults) whereas Parts 4 and 5 are more serious and darker in tone (I haven’t seen those ones yet though, and as for Parts 1 and 3 I have no idea what they’re like)

As for the movies... I’ve heard the CGI movie Lupin III: The First is amazing (the animation speaks for itself) but I haven’t seen it yet. It can be rented in the US though so it’s definitely viewable!

But otherwise here is a very good list covering every movie, its general premise, some content warnings/stuff to watch out for, and how generally dark and weird it is (they do range pretty drastically from what I understand). You’re on your own finding them though lol

Hopefully some of that helps! I hope I didn’t scare you off by pointing out the multiple series or movies - it’s really not that bad, and the nice thing is, you can pick and choose what you want to see so there’s anything that you don��t Vibe with, you can simply skip over it!

#Lupin III #tl;dr: it's a show about Being Gay and Doing Crime

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metalgearkong · 6 years

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Red Dead Redemption II - Review (PS4, Xbox One)

Developed by Rockstar Games, released October 26th.

I have deeply mixed feeling about this game. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a prequel to Red Dead Redemption from 2010, one of my favorite games of all time. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a juggernaut of an experience, consisting of some of the most sophisticated and arduous detail of any game ever made. The story takes place 12 years before the events of the first game, in the year 1899. We play as Arthur Morgan, one of the highest ranking members of the infamous Van der Linde gang, able to see them in their prime, and eventually, witnessing both the downfall of the gang, and its leader.

One of my favorite things about the gang is seeing that each member aren’t just random NPCs; each person is unique with a specific look, personality, behavior, duties, and many of them offer quests and side missions. Arthur himself is a bit of a blank slate at first, something I was afraid of from the early promotional material. He acts and appears to be like a stereotypical cowboy, and even has a backstory extremely similar to John Marston. His voice actor seems like he's trying hard to have an exaggerated western drawl, and his actions, for a long time, don’t set him up to be anyone special. However, over time he does develop a mind of his own, other than beckoning to Dutch's every word, and becomes a much better character as the game goes on.

Red Dead Redemption 2 consists of 6 chapters and a lengthy epilogue. This is a bigger, more detailed, and much more beautiful game than the first. Trading the cactus-filled deserts and dry plateaus of Red Dead Redemption, this game favors grassy prairies, snow covered mountains, forests, ravines, and swampy bayous (the bayous I especially fell in love with). The environments are absolutely breathtaking; the terrain begging to be explored and plundered. The world of Red Dead Redemption 2 is huge, and is stuffed with settlements, natural features, flora, fauna, and it's difficult to leave any spot on the map untouched. Animals must be meticulously stalked, hunted, and killed in order to render usable pelts.

The gang's camp acts as the hub for the player. Throughout each chapter, the camp moves from one location to another (something I found a bit predictable and repetitive over time). We can upgrade the camp by purchasing provisions and supplies for the camp outright, or we can contribute money or valuables to increase GDP. However, the mechanics of how maintaining and upgrading camp is not well explained, and I always felt wary if donating my donations would pay off somehow. I had to look online several times for tips on what to do and not to do, and I feel like at this point, I would suggest Rockstar Games pull a full Kojima and just have a dedicated character to break the fourth wall and speak directly to the player, as opposed to info blurbs that flash in the corner of the screen

Another technical drawback the game has is its favor for realism over fun. I had no idea so much focus would be on tedious survival mechanics, to the point that lead to frustration and annoyances for me for the majority of the experience. Listing all of my bullet points would simply take too much space, but you have to worry about a variety of things such as Arthur's body temperature, clothing, scent, weapon cleanliness, personal cleanliness, ammo type, body weight, stamina, horse brushing, horse calming, horse stabling, the quality of the pelts you collect, and much more. I’m halfway surprised there wasn’t a “take a shit meter” to keep an eye on. This is compounded with the fact that the fast traveling is much more difficult to do in this game, especially because the map is larger than the original (limited to stage coaches and trains at first, and you can’t fast travel back to your camp ever).

The controls were a constant hindrance to my enjoyment as well. Animations look natural and are impressive, but take forever to execute (looting bodies, skinning animals, opening containers, etc). Arthur walks at a snail's pace when indoors or at Dutch's camp. We not only have multiple menus, but menus within menus. I constantly had to look at the U.I. because every single context felt like it had its own action button. I had to consistently check which button to push to do something, as well as make sure if I had to tap the button, or hold it down for a couple seconds. I have no idea why Rockstar Games made it so sluggish, as I felt like much of the game was wading its way through molasses. The controls were always at odds with how incredible the game’s presentation is, and caused me frustration consistently.

However, Red Dead Redemption 2 thrives on its characters, quests, and atmosphere. The overall plot is somewhat bland, but it's the constant small moments that kept my attention. We do much of what you’d expect (train robberies, shootouts, etc) but some of the best missions were small moments like fishing with John’s son or escorting a women’s suffrage wagon. In fact, some of the best missions are stumbled upon in the woods that may be small in scale, but stick with you due to their oddness or strangeness. I also had a blast looking online for easter eggs and going on a pilgrimage, taking photos of the weird small things found all over the map. Rockstar Games clearly stuck with a tone and a pace that exists throughout the entire experience, and this aspect of the game excels at every turn.

My other favorite thing about the game is paling around with characters from the first game such as Bill, Javier, Abigail, Uncle, and John. It was cool to have Arthur as a higher rank than characters I've come to know for 8 years since the original game. Red Dead Redemption 2 also masquerades as a terrific origin story for John Marston himself, but saying more about it would be minor spoilers. Let me say that I truly don't think the story started to get really good until chapter 6, and the epilogue absolutely blew me away. It nearly saves the entire game with how much fan service it provides. The last 6 hours or so of the story are pure ecstasy, especially for those who love the first game.

The story also gets incredibly personal, absolutely transcending what games can do, and how they can make you feel. Gamplay-wise it isn't anything special (in fact, it can be rather dull if that's all you're looking at), but it's what the characters go through an how they change that swung me through an array of emotions, rewarding me to my love for the characters. My next time through the game I’m going to save a separate save file at the start of chapter 6 because I don’t want to have to trudge my way through the first 5 chapters to get to the good stuff. The last time I was rewarded with so much fan service was probably the “Shadow Moses” segment in Metal Gear Solid 4 from ten whole years ago.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is a special game, and the arduous effort it took to bring its world to life is obvious, but I don't necessarily agree with its already legendary status among fans. I can appreciate the tone and tempo the developers were going for, but the detailed self-maintenance, hunting, controls, shooting, and movement constantly fight against the immersion created by the atmosphere and characters. This is the first time I can recall a game being over baked, and actually spent too much time in development. If you can stick it out to the end, you'll be rewarded with some of the best stretch of video gaming I've ever seen, leaving your heart in your throat. Gamers will appreciate the details, but it’s the back end of the story that made it all worth it for me.

7/10

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