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wh0re43van · 5 months

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Frogger Pt 2 (Peter Maximoff X Reader)

Summary: You return to peters house to finish what you started, but he’s way ahead of you.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Very smutty, Masturbation, sub!peter (no mommy kink tho bc Idr fuck with that), edging, whiny Peter, pantie stealing

A/n: I can’t get this divider to work right and I’ve also just realized that Frogger came out on Atari in ‘83 not ‘73,,, so just ignore that huge plot hole pls 🙏🏻 Speaking of which, I’d like to take this moment to say: Frogger? I hardly know her!

Okay thats it. Thank you for reading!!

Pt 1

After picking my little brother up from school, I pull into our driveway.

“Alright come on, Finn. you’re gonna learn how to heat up a TV dinner today,” I say as I open the passenger door for my brother, ushering him quickly towards our front door.

“Why?” he asks, confused as we enter our home.

“Cause I got shit to do. You’ve got five minutes to ask questions then I’m leaving,” I say as I walk into the bathroom right next to our kitchen to check my reflection. “So, you better start now,” I say as I reapply my lipstick.

“What? Does mom know?” he asks, sounding horrified.

“No and she won’t find out because I’ll be home before she gets back from her Tupperware party and you aren’t gonna say anything,” I say as I shake my finger in his face.

“Y/n, I’m only eight. What if someone breaks in?” he squeaks as he follows my quick steps to the freezer. I open the door, pulling out a random frozen meal.

“Then hide,” I say flatly, knowing that our neighborhood is safe. He looks at me, still horrified.

“Ugh,” I groan before grabbing a pen and writing the Maximoff phone number on our calendar that’s hanging on the fridge. “I’m going to Peters. This is their phone number. Call and ask for me if anything happens. I should be back in an hour or two,” I say before grabbing my keys off the counter and walking to the door. “Lock the doors, don’t answer for anyone unless it’s me, mom, or dad and stay inside the house,” I say as I unlatch the wooden door.

“Wait! You didn’t tell me about the dinner!” he stops me in my tracks.

“You can read right?” I ask, he nods his head. “Directions are on the box,” I lock the door behind me as I all but run towards my vehicle.

As I take the short drive to Peters house, my heart races in anticipation. I hate to admit it, but I managed to get just as worked up as he did- if not, more. My Fleetwood Mac cassette plays loudly in my stereo, but all I can hear is the whimpers that escaped Peter’s mouth earlier. He looked so fucking pathetic writhing underneath me, mewling through shaky breaths; It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. The image of peter standing half naked, desperate, and confused with his pants so tight around his erection that his button could pop off at any moment makes more core ache. I pull up to the Maximoff house, parking halfway on the curb, but I’m in too much of a hurry to fix it. I sprint up to the door, taking a deep breath to compose myself before knocking. Ms. Maximoff soon opens the door.

“Y/n, back so soon?” she grins, allowing me to enter.

“Yes ma'am, I have something that I need to finish,” I smile innocently. She nods.

“Peter should be downstairs, I haven’t seen him since you left,” she walks back to the kitchen, leaving me to make my way to Peter’s room. I quietly walk down the stairs, stepping onto the shag carpet. I freeze in my tracks, my breath hitching in my throat and my heart skipping a beat at the sight in front of me.

Peter sitting upright on his couch, completely naked, his head thrown back, resting on the back of the sofa as his hand pumps his rock hard dick. His eyes are squeezed shut as his mouth hangs agape, releasing the hottest whimpers I’ve ever heard. His cheeks and lips are flushed as his nose scrunches in pleasure… then I hear it.

“Fuck, y/n” he mewls, so quiet I could barely hear it, but the sound of him muttering my name as he strokes himself rings through my ears like a trumpet, making my knees weak.

‘Oh, this gonna be wicked!’ I smirk to myself.

“Yes?” I bite my lip, approaching the disheveled boy. Peter’s so stunned that he just jumps up. He doesn’t zoom away. He just stands there with the most horrified expression I’ve ever seen.

“I-I-I didn’t- I wasn’t- y/n,” he sputters, I walk up to him, gently pushing him back down to the couch.

“You weren’t what?” I sit next to him, placing a hand on his chest; He’s hot to the touch. “Rubbing one out while thinking about me?” I ask lowly.

“I well, y-y-you just left me,” he says, staring at me with wide eyes, his dick still standing at attention. “I tried not to, it just wouldn’t go away,” he explains as he pushes his sweaty hair out of his face.

“Hmm,” I tap a finger to my lips in mock consideration. “I think I know how to help you,” I say with a shrug. Peter smiles at me, settling into the couch, closing his eyes, waiting for me to touch him. I get down on my knees in between his legs. “But I need you to show me what you were doing first,” I look up at him, laying my head on his bare thigh. He looks down at me, confused.

“Y-you want me to…” he motions towards his erection.

“Mhm,” I hum, looking at him through my lashes. His cheeks burn bright red, but he slowly moves his hand to his length. I watch intently as he begins to stroke himself. His hand runs over his red, swollen tip and he lets out a quiet whimper. “I wanna hear you, Peter,” I hum.

Even though he’s embarrassed, I can tell that he’s enjoying this. His breath quickens and his dick twitches in his hand as I speak. He picks up speed, obeying my command, letting out a pathetic little moan, as he stares down at me. “I think I know what you’re doing wrong,” the sultry tone drips from my tongue as I sit up on my knees.

“What?” he asks, his voice small as he watches my every move. I take his length into my own hand, dipping my head down, gathering spit in my mouth that I allow to drip from my lips onto his swollen tip. His brown eyes, wide as saucers, watches the saliva trickles onto him.

“Holy fuck,” he whispers as I use my fingers to spread the lubrication around. I hear his breath hitch, then I pull my hand away.

“Now try it,” I smile. I can tell he’s getting sexually frustrated.

“Really?” He whines. “But I want-“ he whines some more before I stop him.

“Do it, Peter,” I say sternly. He gulps, returning his hand to his now slick cock. He moans, throwing his head back.

“Doesn’t that feel better, baby?” I coo. He looks down at me, nodding his head. I slowly shift from my knees to sit on my ass, keeping his desperate eyes locked into mine. I spread my legs, revealing my soaked white panties underneath my skirt. Peter whimpers loudly at the sight, thrusting his hips into his hand.

“C-come on y/n, what are you tryin’ to do to me?” He groans, breathlessly.

“I’m helping you, quickie,” I giggle lightly before I run my hand over my clothed core. Peter shifts on the couch, sitting up to get a better view. His hand picks up speed around his length. I hum at the contact on my core, laying my head back, allowing my hair to fall from my shoulders down my back. I tilt my head to the side, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth when I catch Peters gaze locked onto my dripping panties, not even blinking as he pumps his cock mercilessly. The muscles in his arm tense and his dick twitches, precum oozes out.

“Fuck I think I’m gonna-“ he whimpers breathlessly.

“Stop,” I demand. “Remove your hand, Peter,” I direct him as I continue rubbing circles on my clit through the thin cotton. With a reluctant whimper, he pulls away.

“Mmm,” I slide my panties slowly down my legs, he watches with intensity. I’ve never seen him focus on anything this long before. “Good boy,” I praise, tossing the panties beside him on the couch. He looks at them, then back at me. I giggle, pulling my sweater and my tank top over my head, leaving me in just my bra and skirt. When I return my gaze to the couch, Peters eyes are still locked on me like before, but my panties are gone.

‘That pathetic little perverted kleptomaniac,’ I smile to myself. I don’t mention it-allowing him to keep the drenched panties as a prize for listening so well. Instead, I just bring my fingers down to my now exposed core. His eyes follow my hand like a cat’s follow a laser pointer. I use a finger to dip into my soaking entrance, dragging my slick up to my clit before I begin to rub circles on the sensitive skin.

“Mmm, fuck, Peter,” I relish the pleasure that I bring myself. He let’s out a string of mewls as he thrusts up into the air, desperate for some sort of friction.

“Are- Are you tryin’ to kill me?” He whispers, bringing his gaze from my slick folds up to my eyes. I can’t help but laugh at the desperate state of the poor boy.

“What do you mean?” I play Innocent as I move my fingers back to my entrance.

“I-“ He starts but he’s immediately distracted when I slip my finger inside myself, letting out a pornographic moan.

“Go on Peter,” I smirk. “I’m listening,” I bat my lashes.

“You’re just so-“ he speaks as if his mouth has gone dry.

“Fuck,” I let out another moan, purposely cutting him off again as I slip another finger inside myself and begin to curl up into that special spot.

“Please,” he whimpers, his voice cracks, his legs are shaking, his silver hair is stuck to his face with sweat and his dick is so hard that the tip has taken on a purple hue. Finally, I broke him. “Please, please, please, y/n please I’ll do anything,” he whines, pleading for mercy.

I smile, hoping up then turning around, slowly sliding my skirt down, bending over as I push the thin fabric to my feet.

“Please,” he whimpers again. I turn back around, smiling at the poor boy. “I’m not sure I’m enjoying this as much as you are,” he mewls as I straddle his waist. He winces when his erection slaps against my stomach.

“Oh, don’t lie to me Peter,” I whisper in his ear. I bring my fingers that I was using on myself up to his mouth, he happily opens, sucking them clean as he stares up at me with his big puppy eyes.

Jesus Christ I moan internally.

“You’re doing so good for me,” I bring my face right in front of his, grabbing either side of his cheeks with the same hand. “Don’t act up now,” I say sternly. He responds with an audible gulp. “Tell me Peter. Tell me how much you’re enjoying our time together right now,” I whisper as I ghost the fingers of my free hand over his needy cock. He twitches in my hand.

“I-you-“ he gulps again. His wide eyes looking directly into mine. “Y/n, this is hotter than any porno I’ve ever seen,” he admits whole heartedly, through muffled words as my hand squeezes his cheeks together a bit, earning a genuine laugh out of me.

“Well luckily for you,” I grab his length firmly, beginning to pump him slowly. “You won’t have to rent those stupid films anymore, not with me around,” I smirk before I bring him into a kiss, wrapping one hand in the back of his head. To my surprise, he kisses back intensely. His hands shoot up, grabbing both sides of my face to pull my head closer to his. He kisses me with strong desire.

“You don’t know what you’re doin’ to me,” he groans into the kiss. I lift my hips up, not breaking the passionate kiss, using my hand to line him up with my dripping entrance.

“Of course, I do, Peter,” I whisper before setting down on his desperate cock, taking him all the way into me in one swift motion. He lets out a loud whimper- almost a shriek. “Shhh” I giggle against his lips, stifling my own moan.

“I’m sorry,” he whines. He peers into my eyes with his chest heaving, sweat covering every inch of his toned body while his shaky hands hold their death grip on my hips. I place my hands behind me onto his thighs so I can slowly slide myself up down on his length.

“It’s okay Peter, but you gotta keep it down a bit. Can you do that for me, baby?” I coo. He nods his head as he watches in awe as I fuck myself on him, unable to look away. He fills me up perfectly, his desperate cock sliding in out of my velvet walls earns a few low moans out of me. ”You’re so big, Peter,” I compliment, he smiles at me flashing his dimples. With a surge of confidence, he brings his fingers to his mouth, wetting them before bringing them to my clit, tracing figure eights, watching my face for approval. “Mmm, that feels good, baby. Good job,” I praise him. He moves his fingers faster, and faster, and faster to the point that his hand is just a blur. ”Fuck!” I accidentally shout from the vibrations coursing through my body.

“Shhh,” he smirks. “You gotta keep it down, remember?” he mocks me. I can’t help but laugh, his sudden confidence is a bigger turn on than I thought it would be. He moves his hand from my core- much to my disappointment- before he grabs my hips again.

“May I?” he asks politely, his voice small again as he thrusts into me, wanting to take a bit of control. I lean forward, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Mhm,” I grant him permission. “Only since you’ve listened so well,” I smirk. As soon as I give him the okay, he’s pounding into me mercilessly.

“Peter!” I shout in surprise and pleasure as he thrusts into me at inhuman rates. The speedster doesn’t seem to hear me as he throws his head back in pleasure.

“Thank you,” he whimpers. “You feel so fucking good, oh my god,” he whines, still somehow sounding submissive even when I’ve given him control. I quickly feel my release nearing as I grip onto his shoulders to keep him from bucking me off. I’ve never been so worked up in my life, my body feels like it’s on fire as I watch the handsome boys hips blur underneath me.

“Peter, I’m close,” I moan, my words come out punctuated as if I’m in a vehicle that’s driving 100mph down a pothole filled gravel road. His head shoots up at my words.

“Please y/n,” he whimpers as I bring my lips to his. “Please I wanna feel you cum while I’m inside you, please,” he whines and begs like a starving puppy, sending me over the edge. Pleasure shoots from my vibrating core throughout my whole body as a string of moans and curses fall from my lips. “Thank you,” I hear him mewl as I chase the euphoria I’m feeling.

‘Did he just thank me, for cumming on him?’ I think to myself. This man knows exactly how to get me worked up, and I don’t even think he realizes it. Suddenly, with a fwp I’ve lost all contact with him as I’m sat beside him on the couch. His eyes hungrily explore my body while he continues to pump himself as whimpers and groans fall from his lips, his dick is visibly twitching.

‘oh’ my confusion subsides once I realized he was about to cum himself. I regain my position on my knees between his legs, watching his face as I take him into my mouth. I consider ruining his orgasm again, but before I can make up my mind, his eyes are scrunched shut and his nose is wrinkled in pleasure as the hottest, most pathetic whimper I’ve ever heard fall from his swollen lips like music to my ears.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he groans as he empties his seed onto my tongue. I swallow the huge load, kitten licking his slit and hollowing out my cheeks a few more times for good measure. He falls onto the couch, lifeless. His chest heaving, the muscles in his legs twitching and his eyes rolled back in his head.

“Peter?” I ask, slightly concerned. “Peter?” I ask again a but louder, slapping his leg as I stand from the ground, sitting next to him.

“I…” he slowly turns his head next to me. I can almost see his heart beating out of his chest. “I think you just changed me as a man,” he pants. I laugh at his revelation, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Well I’m honored to be the one to do it,” I smile. He slowly sits up, holding his head as if he’s dizzy.

“I’m fucking starving,” he sighs. I stand up, starting to get dressed.

“Well, clean up real quick and we can go get some food after I check on my brother,” I smile. His eyes light up at the mention of food. He stands, taking a step then stopping, looking at me confused. He takes another step, stopping.

“You broke me, I can’t even zoom across the room,” he looks mortified. I giggle putting my hand on his shoulder.

“It will come back soon, give your body time to catch up,” I slip my skirt on, without my panties. “At least I know your weakness now,” I giggle.

“A dominant woman?” he smiles as he slips on his shirt.

“My used panties,” I smirk, motioning to the white fabric sticking out of his bedside drawer. His eyes go wide.

“I’m sorry you can ha-“ I cut him off.

“Keep ‘em. I think you earned it,” I wink. He looks away with blushed cheeks before dressing his bottom half.

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itsabouttimex2 · 6 days

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I have seen many yandere parental figure so how about yandere offspring? Like Yandere mk/nezha/redson/mei to his parental figure? How would their parental figure to their child "strange" behavior?

Yandere Children:

Red Son and Ne Zha

(This is the first time I’ve written romantic yandere for Y/N. Not too surprised that it was for Bull King and Iron Fan.)

I like to think of this particular Y/N as a demon born of ice, someone who owes a serious debt to Princess Iron Fan.

When she finally calls it in, you head immediately to her fortified residence, seeing the former celestial standing outside with her husband, a small bundle in his arms.

You expect the worst, and prepare accordingly. The favor you owe is great- no task is beyond her asking. Your blessing, or a fragment of your power. Your service as a guard or war companion. Your compliance in a murderous scheme. But Princess Iron Fan does not wish for any of that.

Instead, she wants a babysitter.

“We were hoping… that you might be a suitable caretaker for our son. It could be that your natural affinity for ice will help to neutralize Red Son’s wielding of the Samahdi Fire.”

So the little boiling bundle is pushed into your icy arms, steam hissing and filling the air on contact.

His temperature lowers as yours rises, the little baby cooing and laughing at the humid mist swirling around you.

“…I didn’t know you had a son,” you say, poking the plumpness of his little scarred cheek. “And what a big and healthy thing he is, too.”

“A worthy heir to my throne!” The Demon Bull King proudly announces, watching closely as you handle his cherished son. Gently, you press a kiss to his bindi. Pulling away slowly, your lips leave a glittering ice-blue mark upon it, reading simply: 凛.

This is the life you settle into, a mostly peaceful passing of days spent playing with the growing boy and helping to tame his deadly flames.

Any time they grow out of control (and it happens frequently) you quickly reapply your blessing to his forehead, chilling his internal temperature and forcing his body to redirect the fire to heat himself up.

His parents watch on in awe, seeing you so easily and calmly reign in something so deadly and uncontrollable. You quickly become more than a temporary babysitter, given a lavish room furnished with every luxury that a demon could desire.

(Let’s be honest, there’s some real poly energy with you’ve got going on with PIF and DBK. ‘Live-in babysitter’, my ass.)

As the three of you grow closer, so swells your bond with Red Son, serving as primary caretaker and educator. He’s a prodigal learner, taking quickly to magic especially. You learn that the boy has a knack for putting things together, spot-welding any pieces of metal he can find. These little jagged creations are often gifted to you, and you have a shelf entirely dedicated to displaying them. Often will he reject his own bed to sleep beside you, finding comfort in the coldness of your skin.

But, in spite of all sweetness…

Red Son is still a demon, things that are horribly powerful and often violent or deceitful, if not outright murderous.

And he grows to see Y/N as being something that belongs to the Demon Bull Clan. And sure, with the nearly unpayable debt you owe to Iron Fan and your budding relationship with his parents, he’s not exactly wrong.

A caretaker, a maid, a teacher, a mentor, a friend. These are all things you have become in grateful service to this powerful family. And eventually, all those things bleed to what they really what:

A spouse and a parent.

It’s hard to tell exactly when the shift in their perspective occurs, because their obsession is a slow, drudging creep. But the shift in their actions once they realize their obsession is instead blindingly quick.

One day you’re sitting down with Red to teach him calligraphy, gently and reassuringly fixing his brushstroke and complimenting every line he gets right, all while he demands to sit in your lap.

Then night falls and it is made very clear to you what your new role in the family in, complete with a shift in sleeping area and clothing.

You’re pressed flush between Iron Fan and Bull King as they slumber, dressed in a red silk gown and bearing purple-jeweled rings across many of your fingers. Red Son sleeps on your chest, his grip immovably tight.

And this is the new life you must grow accustomed to, either to repay your debt or perhaps… because you have come to like it.

Loved isn’t the worst thing to be, after all.

(Personal headcanon: befitting his status as the Third Lotus Prince, most offerings given to Ne Zha consist of foods containing lotus seeds, lotus root, and lotus paste. At this point, he’s grown somewhat sick of the sweet taste. He actually prefers meat and vegetables.)

“Ne Zha,” you call, exploring the halls of his palace. “Little one, it’s time for dinner!”

All that meets your words is the clanging of metal and the tearing of leather. He’s training again, as always.

You push aside a silk curtain embroidered with many lotuses, revealing a well-stocked armory lined with dozen of training dummies.

And in the middle is a very worn-out Ne Zha, the little prince dripping with sweat.

“Little one,” you say, causing the boy’s sash to stand to attention, startled upwards like the tail of a cat. “What did I say about training so late?”

“I, um… I’m not supposed to train… so I won’t want to sleep in late to, um, make up for lost energy.”

“That’s right, sweetpea. Come on, let’s get something in your stomach. And then you’ll need a bath.”

“I already took a bath today,” he huffs, slotting his dual-tipped spear face-down into a holding pot. “I don’t need another.”

Timed to the click of your tongue, you swipe a finger across the young boy’s forehead, dragging a line in the built-up sweat. “I think you do, Ne Zha.”

“…hmph,” he pouts, his little cheeks puffing out. Though the prince is much too polite to outright refuse or go so far as to throw a tantrum, he still shows his displeasure in a quiet and mild way.

It’s one of the things you cherish most about him. Ne Zha is well behaved and rather mature, to the point where you have to encourage him to play and take breaks. It feels a little unfair, really, that someone so young has been saddled with so much responsibility.

You ply the Third Lotus Prince with plushies and paints, allowing him to explore avenues of creativity and make-believe. It’s nourishing for both his mind and body, a period of well-earned rest to slowly recuperate from the constant training he’s so insist on enduring.

In turn, he’s viciously protective of you, and often asks for your explicit attention over any other maidservant in the Celestial Realm.

Expect him to ward off any would-be suitors by challenging them to duels. It’s a lose-lose scenario . They either somehow win and beat the hell out of a little boy, or, more likely, get the hell beaten out of them by a little boy. Either way, it’s not exactly something that endears them to you, watching grown men and women raise their blades to your protective charge.

Kissing his wounds and fixing his hair, doting on the little lotus prince as your would-be suitors seethe, wishing that they were the ones receiving your attention.

Eventually, Ne Zha will properly dress himself (that’s a lie, he needed your help) for an audience with several important deities in the Celestial Realm, he asks for your permanent placement as his personal parent maidservant.

And what reason do they have to deny such a loyal warrior?

#Platonic Yandere #Romantic Yandere #Yandere Lego Monkie Kid #Yandere LMK #Yandere Red Son #Yandere Princess Iron Fan #Yandere Demon Bull King #Bullfam #Yandere Ne Zha #Yandere Nezha #Yandere Son

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tongue-like-a-razor · 2 years

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Altitude - Chapter 7

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Fem!OC

Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x Fem!OC

Summary: Sydney is not a pilot. But she knows all their tricks. That's why, when she meets the smooth-talking Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, she's not falling for any of them. She's not falling for him, either.

CW: Another Mav chapter. Vague allusions to sex, love triangle (Rooster/Hangman/OC), angst, marital conflict (Maverick/OC), slow burn.

Start from the beginning: Part I

Sydney walks through the door just as Maverick puts away the last of the dishes into the cupboard. He peeks out from around the corner, eyeing her expectantly, but she doesn’t look up at him as she removes her jacket and hangs it on the hook.

“How was the rest of your night?” he asks.

She glances up at him with a sigh. “Just ask what you want to ask,” she says irritably.

He presses his lips together into a slight frown. “I take it you saw your mother, then.”

Sydney picks up her bookbag and walks through the front hall. “Good guess,” she says, walking past him toward the stairs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

Sydney stops at the foot of the stairs and looks back at him. “Do you?” she says coldly.

He shrugs. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Sydney lets out another sigh and drops her bag. She heads for the couch in the living room and Maverick takes the dish towel off his shoulder, leaving it on the counter and following her.

He sits down on the opposite end of the couch, watching her wring her hands in her lap uncomfortably. He furrows his eyebrows, trying to figure out a way to learn the purpose of her visit without offending her.

“She told you, didn’t she?” Sydney finally says.

Maverick watches her with a puzzled expression. “Actually,” he says with a small smile. “She said very little to me.”

Sydney eyes him skeptically. She bites her lip, lowering her gaze. She drops her head into her hands, staring miserably at the flower pattern on the carpet.

“Are you okay?” he asks, even though he can tell that she’s not.

She closes her eyes as her lips begin to tremble.

“Sydney,” he says, leaning forward as every muscle in his body tenses. “What happened?”

She sniffles. “I fucked up,” she says.

“What did you fuck up?”

“My interview,” she says with a whimper. “I didn’t make it into the program. All these years wasted.”

Maverick watches her compassionately and, after several moments of deliberation, he reaches out to place his hand on her shoulder. “Can you reapply?” he asks, to which she gives him a resentful look.

“Next year,” she responds dully.

Maverick purses his lips and lets out a steady breath. “I suppose that’s not ideal,” he says.

Sydney raises her head from her hands and glares at him. “You think?” Her eyes are red and glistening, and her jaw is tight.

Maverick eyes the bookbag at the foot of the stairs. “If you didn’t get in, what’s with all the literature?”

Sydney stares past him blankly, not bothering to follow his gaze. She sniffs. “There’s another school,” she says. “It’s here, in San Diego. Their admission deadline is in a couple of weeks. I’m writing my letter of intent.”

Maverick raises his eyebrows with a grin. “You want to do your PhD here? In San Diego?”

Sydney shrugs her shoulders, looking over at him. “They’ve got a decent program. And I’ve been in contact with some potential supervisors.”

Maverick nods. “I think that’s great.”

Sydney gives him a forced smile. “Yeah, rejection is awesome.”

Maverick chuckles, shaking his head. “I mean that you’re revising your plan rather than sitting idly by when life throws you for a loop.”

She watches him solemnly. “Is that what you did?”

He scoffs, lifting his hand off her shoulder. He runs it over his face tiredly, and then he starts inspecting the design on the carpet much like Sydney had done several minutes prior. “Where is your mother staying?” he asks.

Sydney rises from the couch. “Not here.”

Maverick blinks up at her jadedly. “Well, I gathered that.”

After she heads upstairs, Maverick pulls out his phone, holding it in his hand for several moments before sliding it back into his pocket. He sighs, bringing his hands over his face.

Seeing Amelia that evening has certainly thrown him for a loop. Unlike his daughter, he’s never been successful in revising that plan. It’s not like Amelia is a graduate program, he reasons as a rational part of his brain wonders why he’s never been able to just substitute her for another instead of sitting idly by.

He takes his phone out again, frowning at the screen after opening the last message he received from her.

I don’t need to know where you’re going.

She’d sent it after he texted her the details of his assignment nearly a year ago. He understands her logic, even though, at the time, it infuriated him. Sydney was grown up; he was perfectly capable of keeping her informed without involving her mother. Still, it had become a habit so, when Amelia had decided to put a stop to it, it stung.

He swallows, his thumbs hovering over the keyboard in his phone.

It was good to see you, he types. He takes a breath, closing his eyes, and deletes the message before sending it out.

He tries again. Did you get home alright? But he starts deleting the words before he’s even finished writing them. He shakes his head, staring at the screen until it makes his eyes water.

He lets out a sigh. Can I buy you a drink? His thumb twitches as he hits the send button. Immediately, his heart starts to hammer rapidly against his ribcage. He sets his phone aside and buries his face in his hands again.

Then, his phone buzzes. He looks over at it with dread. He lifts it off the couch and turns it over to look at the message.

Don’t start.

Maverick grins at Amelia’s response. His fingers are typing out his next message before he can stop himself.

I don’t think I ever stopped.

His heart pounds uncomfortably in his chest, but he welcomes the sensation. This time, he keeps his phone in his hand, waiting for her to answer. A minute later, she responds.

Don’t continue?

He chuckles. Nightcap? he types.

Mav…

He smiles at his phone, hearing her say it even through text format means everything to him. For old time’s sake.

Absolutely not.

In that case, can I interest you in a long walk on the beach? He cringes but sends the message anyway.

It’s raining.

He laughs. Even better.

There’s a short pause after his last message during which he stares anxiously at the screen. Then, she responds. There are better ways to get me wet.

Maverick laughs. I might be up for the challenge, he writes.

I don’t recall you ever finding that particularly challenging.

Maverick stares at the screen. He brings his phone up to his temple, closing his eyes. Sure, he’s missed her. He’s missed her so much that it’s been like learning to live without a part of his soul for years. But conversing with her, flirting with her, appreciating her sense of humor – all of this conjures up feelings that he’s exerted a considerable amount of energy to bury. And he’s not all too confident that he would be strong enough to go through it again. But he also knows that no amount of potential pain could deter him from trying to reconcile if she would give him a chance.

He holds the phone in his hands, concentrating on the empty text box above the keyboard. Will I see you again? he types. His thumb hovers over the send button uncertainly before shifting to delete the message.

He rubs his forehead. When are you leaving? He shakes his head in frustration and deletes this message too.

We can test that theory. Tomorrow. Hangar One. He grimaces at his phone after sending the message. Somehow, having time to reflect before every response makes each word that much more significant. Not to mention permanent.

After several moments, Amelia replies with: Goodnight, Maverick.

His heart twists in on itself. On the one hand, their conversation is over and he aches to keep talking to her. On the other, he’s somewhat relieved that he didn’t completely fuck it up and it’s probably to his benefit that he won’t get that opportunity.

Goodnight, Amelia.

Read Chapter 8

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luverofralts · 10 months

Text

Arkhelios Adventures

Queen Claudia watched as her father talked the ear off Ulyssa's brother in the yard. It was just like her parents to take in strays who showed up on their door, regardless of the danger. They were frustrating that way. They'd learned it from their own family members and perfected it while working for their boss. The current Grim Reaper was a softie with a soft spot for families since his own fathers had been so absent in his life. It had been the Grim Reaper, Gee's fault that Claudia existed in the first place. Her parents were too important in living society to qualify to be reapers, and should have at least been told to wait a few centuries before reapplying to the program`. Gee had recognized the same devotion to family within the couple and approved them anyway. It was only when it was too late that Gee realized that he'd approved the former heirs to three thrones to return to the living world and allowed them to procreate. Many other reapers would have solved the problem by killing Ewan and Anna's children before they could become complicated political entanglements, but Gee had other plans. Children would never have to die to fix his mistake, especially the children of his good friends.

Claudia could see the danger that the Durant siblings posed, even if her parents didn’t. It was incredibly suspicious to find Maura’s wife loitering around Claudia’s secretive parents and if she had to guess, Claudia assumed that this encounter hadn’t been approved by her cousin. Whatever game Ulyssa was playing was all her idea; Maura would never show such an interest or be so bold. Maura had always been fine with keeping her distance from the Goldmans. Even as kids, Claudia and Maura had been instructed to play together, but Maura had made convenient excuses whenever Ewan or Anna came to spend time with her.

So what was Ulyssa’s game here then? Claudia knew that the queen consort didn’t have the magical skill for a curse or spell against Pleasantview. She didn’t even likely have the skill for a voodoo doll made from Claudia’s hair, so that explanation was out. Jorah was clearly the distraction for some other plan, so while Ulyssa sipped tea with Claudia’s mother, Claudia ran through her list of possible schemes. Ulyssa would slip eventually and when she did, Claudia would be ready for it.

"So what's it like dying?" Jorah asked, moving his game piece as he spoke. He and Ewan were bonding over a fierce game of Don't Wake the Llama. He could see Ulyssa's irritation through the window where she watched them, but he ignored her. His plan had saved them from Claudia's wrath and he had spent over an hour bonding with an actual reaper. A reaper who had already promised to come to dinner one night in Arkhelios to grill some burgers with Jorah.

"Truthfully I don't remember," Ewan replied, countering Jorah's move with his own. "I died as an infant and it was a long time ago. It's peaceful from what I've seen. A quick moment and then freedom from pain or suffering. Reunification with your deceased loved ones. It's nothing to fear."

"Do you ever work in Arkhelios? Have I seen you around without knowing it?"

"We work in teams," Ewan confided. "Every nation has a team assigned to them so that we can collect the correct souls at the correct time and ensure that the correct functioning of the living world is unharmed. I work in Pleasantview, so no, I don't work in your area, but rest assured, there is a team in place to protect Arkhelios."

Jorah paused to consider Ewan's words. He'd never thought of a supernatural team sent to harvest souls as serving as protection over the living realm. If anything, he'd always thought of them as villains or threats because of the nature of their jobs, but it was true that people were going to die naturally regardless of a reaper being there to help them pass. Having policies and trained professionals in place to help ease that transition was really a kindness extended to mortals by Death when he thought about it.

"So I was reading about the Great Demon War and the reaper sightings from that period. Would that be an example of how reapers protect the living? By fighting threats from beyond the living world? Have you ever been to the Void? Does the Demon Sovereign have to obey your rules? Can she be killed by Death if she breaks the rules? Is she actually evil or just misunderstood? I'm asking for a friend."

Ewan laughed.

"I'm afraid I can't answer all of those questions. There needs to be some secrecy maintained or life just isn't as fun. It's meant to be lived first and then the gaps are filled in once your life ends. It'll ruin all the spoilers you're meant to enjoy one day."

"Do you know when I'm going to die?" Jorah pressed. "All of my kids are going to outlive me, right? You can tell me that much, right?"

"Unfortunately that's above my pay grade," Ewan laughed. "We get told who to escort to the afterlife shortly beforehand. I can't change the death and I don't decide anything about it. Not even the Grim Reaper can. It's above even him."

"What's above him?" Jorah gasped, completely ignoring everything else around him. "Death? He decides when someone dies? What if someone is murdered? Does he know that's going to happen or can he prevent the murder if he wants to save the person?"

"That's a spoiler, I'm afraid," Ewan said with a wink. "Some things have to be a surprise and some questions can't be answered. Honestly, you're better off not focusing on all of that. Life is so short and eternity is forever. Live your life before you lose it and you'll find out the answers to your questions soon enough."

"Fair enough," Jorah grudgingly conceded. "I get it. Can I ask you about your family then? I've read so much about your parents and great-grandparents in books but you're the real thing. You know them."

Ewan fidgeted in his seat while he processed the request and Jorah immediately regretted asking about it.

"Hmmm, maybe when I stop by Arkhelios," Ewan promised, his eyes hooded with secrets. "If you've read about them, you know how difficult it can be to come to terms with the actions of your ancestors. My dad is the best dad I could ever hope to have. My other father is a monster who can't go ten minutes without committing some kind of war crime or monstrous act. I've tried to raise my children to be just like my dad and be happy and loving and kind to others. Unfortunately, these days my daughter seems to be happy following the path of my father. There are so many devious voices in her ear and demons happy to lead her into darkness. That's why I try to demonstrate kindness whenever I can. There's a darkness within her that I fear the throne will encourage. There's a darkness in all of Casper Maricourt's bloodline."

Jorah paused, unable to think of an appropriate response to this admission. The closest example that he could relate to would probably be the Bellamy family and he only had limited contact with most of them. Ever since the affair with Ulyssa, Jorah hadn't seen much of the Bellamys. Roman's mother certainly was evil, though not on the same scale as a ruthless king…not that Jorah knew about anyway.

"Do…do you see him at all?" Jorah asked quietly. "Is there a hell that he's in? Did they just send him to the Void when he died? Is there a king of the afterlife? Do people fight over it?"

"I…I have seen him. Just once and not alone. He…wasn't kind to me," Ewan sighed. "Always choose to be kind, Jorah. Whenever you can. It separates us from the darkness. You strike me as a man who already knows this, but never let yourself forget it."

Jorah paused, realizing that Ewan was upset by the conversation and had ignored all of his secondary questions.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just have so many questions and I love learning about new people and places and I'm afraid that I'll never have the chance to speak with you again."

"I promised you a barbecue, and I don't break my promises. I understand your curiosity, I would feel the same way in your shoes. Maybe we could just pivot away from my father for now. It's bad enough looking in the mirror and seeing his reflection." Ewan gestured quickly at his face. "The hair is a dead giveaway in Pleasantview, especially with the Maricourt eyes. I'm glad none of my kids have inherited them. I'd be tempted to dye it or wear contacts, but it doesn't seem fair. It's my hair and eyes, why should I have to change them because of someone else who died years ago?"

Jorah nodded compassionately at the reaper, who seemed to be working some personal issues out across from him. The last thing he wanted was to scare away his new friend and on top of that, Claudia might murder him if she saw him making her father upset.

"So reapers eat obviously," he said quickly, gesturing at the grill beside them. "Do you have to sleep? How did you get a body? Is it different from the body that you died in? Can demons possess you?"

Ewan smiled, grateful for the change in subject.

"We don't need sleep, but we can if we want," he replied. "Our non reaper romantic partners seem to find it unnerving when we're up all night without them and still refreshed in the morning. Death assigns us a body when we graduate training and yes, it's connected to our previous physical body, but it's not completely the same. As for demons, I've never encountered one with the ability to possess others, but they stem from a corruption of life and we stem from the natural course of death, so I'd wager that we're immune to their threat. But enough about me, what about you? How many children do you have? How did you get into autograph collecting?"

"I have three beautiful children," Jorah gushed. "Two daughters and a son, Hamnet, Judith and Susanna. They're turning six this year and they're amazing. Hamnet and Susanna are twins, so it was like having triplets when they all arrived, thank god that my husband was only carrying one kid, though we've talked about more. Maura actually introduced us to the idea of autograph collecting. I would never have thought about it in tiny Arkhelios, but with my sister suddenly meeting world leaders and famous people, it became easier to find people to sign our books. Maura was our first signature and we've got all of Maura’s family too, even her mother, watcher rest her soul."

“How fun. Claudia would have liked that when she was younger, the boys too probably. They’ve always been more hands on with things while Claudia will sit back, evaluate her options and then act. Oliver and Travis would like chasing down people to sign their book. Claudia would probably make them do it for her.’ Ewan laughed and Jorah joined in.

“Yeah, my Susanna is very similar,” he admitted. “She has her siblings under her spell when she wants to. I’ve found them making her bed for her a few times. Kids, right?”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t trade mine for the world though.”

Jorah smiled. Despite all of his excitement about finding rare supernatural creatures, Jorah seemed to have found something even rarer- a kindred soul.

“I completely agree.”

While Jorah was busy making friends, his sister set about her mission. Claudia was talking with her mother about an upcoming lunch event she was hosting and her watchful eye on Ulyssa was currently occupied. Where to begin though? The bedrooms upstairs might be filled with secrets worth blackmailing a queen with, but the stair were being blocked by Claudia. To get upstairs, Ulyssa would have to sneak outside and teleport while no one was around..

A car pulled into the driveway, alerting Ulyssa as she tried to innocently explore. Claudia’s brother was home with his guest. This could be just the diversion Ulyssa needed to get past Claudia. Everyone would come out to welcome Oliver and Ulyssa could excuse herself to “use the washroom”.

To her surprise though, she recognized the friend exiting the car with Oliver. She would know him anywhere.

“Junior?”

Theo stood behind Oliver, almost hiding from the godmother he’d never expected to see in Pleasantview. It had been years since he’d seen her in person and he’d nearly forgotten the nickname she had for him. This wasn’t just his godmother though, this was his dad’s affair partner. The reason he had a half-sister no one talked about. The reason his parents decided to have a band aid baby that neither of them would have wanted otherwise.

“Hi Aunt Ulyssa. What are you doing here?”

‘Are you sleeping with Oliver’s parents too’ was on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t dare say it. Oliver was a cool senior in the fanciest school in Pleasantview and had a lot of powerful friends. When the witches’ council had paired them for an assignment, Theo had leapt at the chance. There was no way that he would offend the coolest person he knew just to insult his godmother.

Ulyssa beamed and stepped towards her godson, only to have him back away from her. She wanted nothing more than to hug him and catch up with the drama in his teenage life, but she could see the betrayal in his eyes. Her godson hated her. He was named after her, but she’d broken his trust and now he could barely stand to be around her. All of her Claudia related schemes flew out of her mind with this realization.

Theo hates me, and he deserves to. There’s nothing I can say that will fix what I’ve done. His eyes though- they’re just like Roman’s. I can’t bear miniature Roman glaring at me like this.

Claudia watched the reunion derail on the front lawn with interest. Ulyssa’s weakness was laid bare before her and Claudia didn’t even have to do a single thing to force it. Whatever game Ulyssa thought she was playing was doomed to fail. All Claudia had to do was invoke Roman Bellamy and the queen consort would fold. Ulyssa posed absolutely no threat, but Claudia was still interested to see what her cousin’s wife was up to. Knowing where an enemy thought you were vulnerable was valuable information for the future.

#sims 2 #arkhelios #arkhelios adventures #claudia goldman #sim: Claudia Goldman #sim: anneken toyonaga #anneken toyonaga #sim: ewan jr goldman #ewan jr goldman #sim: theo bellamy #theo bellamy #ulyssa durant #Jorah Durant #oliver goldman #Victoriana Goldman #sim: Victoriana Goldman

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riddlerlesbian · 8 months

Text

stay in touch

a relaxing day at the beach takes a surprising turn when isis notices something off about mai.

rating: G ship: visionshipping (isis ishtar/mai kujaku) word count: 1142 read on ao3 @5daysofygofemslash day one: beach

It should be an easy invitation to accept. Mai loves the ocean. It’s the only thing she really misses from working on a cruise ship. The rhythmic crashing of the waves is soothing, the warmth of the sun is comforting… And Isis knows a place where there won’t be other people. “You should stop by while you’re in the area; I’ll show you around.”

Since Battle City, Mai’s gone back to what she knows. The professional duel circuit takes her all over the world. Which is for the best. It distances her from all of the… she feels crazy when she calls it magic. Or rather, it would distance her, if she hadn’t stayed in touch with Isis. She wasn’t sure why she did, at first. After what Yami Malik did to her– But Mai couldn’t fault the entire family for it. She couldn’t even hate Malik.

And Isis agreed to teach her to read hieratic text. There shouldn’t ever be a time when Mai needs it, but it’s the principle of the thing. Learn from losing. Keep going. It’s worked out pretty well so far, after all.

“You’re wearing makeup?” Isis blinks when she sees Mai, dressed to go to the beach. Her wide brimmed hat, the tied-on skirt, the halter top bikini. Purple eye shadow and mascara that makes her eyes sparkle. “Are you not planning to swim…?” Isis herself wears a wrap skirt as well and a loose cover, hair braided.

It’s the first time Mai has seen her without makeup, incidentally.

Mai laughs. “It’s waterproof. If you swim, I’ll swim. At least a little while.”

“It won’t get messed up at all? When I’ve tried waterproof, it doesn’t work that well.”

“I’ve had a lot of time to experiment with what works best. Come back to my hotel with me after and I’ll show you what I’ve got, if you’re interested.”

They walk side-by-side down to the beach, empty as Isis had promised. The light dances from the water and the glare hits Mai’s eyes. For a split second, she sees people, laughing together, and her skin crawls.

Isis only gets a few steps ahead before she slows, turning back. “Mai?”

Mai shields her eyes from the glare and the memory fades. “Light got in my eyes,” she says, shrugging it off. Keep it together.

Isis gazes at her, like she can see right through the facade. Her brows knit together briefly, but she continues walking, letting Mai keep her pride for now.

Mai lingers for a long moment, watching her, before she follows. Finding a good spot to set up, Mai lays out towels and umbrellas. “Do you you want to start with swimming, then lounge a bit to dry off?”

Isis nods. “That sounds good.” Truth be told, she doesn’t go to the beach in such intimate settings often–or ever. She’s been on the beach for work-related events before, but it wasn’t the sort of thing where you swim and lounge and apply sun screen to each other. She invited Mai because it seemed like the sort of thing Mai would enjoy, more than anything else.

Swimming, at least, proves easier for Mai. She races Isis out to the buoys that mark the end of the safer areas to swim, then lets the tide carry her back to the shore. The constant rhythm of the water all around her drowns out the feelings she remembers. It drowns out the loneliness of her life. Drowns out the guilt over being affected by this when she’s out here with Malik’s sister.

But it can’t last forever. She gets tired eventually and retreats back to the towels with Isis.

“Let me help you reapply sunscreen,” Isis offers. “It’s less effective after swimming for a while.”

“I can do it myself,” Mai snaps.

Isis doesn’t flinch, but she stares, expression blank.

Mai rubs sunscreen onto the back of her neck, trying to act like nothing had happened.

“You don’t like beaches, do you…” Isis says, after a long quiet moment.

Mai winces, staring out at the water. “I love beaches,” she counters. “I love the ocean.”

“Then…” Isis trails off. It was easier to know these things for sure when she had the necklace. She has her guess, but she doesn’t want to offend Mai by being wrong.

Mai draws one knee up to her chest, staring out at the water. “You don’t want to know, Isis,” she says firmly. “I’ll be fine. I just reacted more than I thought I would.”

Isis wraps her arms around her knees. “You saw something… after your duel.”

Mai’s gaze flickers. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry… if I had known…”

“Don’t be sorry,” Mai scoffs. “I’ve always handled this sort of thing on my own. You don’t need to worry yourself about it.”

“But…” Isis sighs. “At least tell me what it was, so I don’t accidentally make things uncomfortable again.”

Mai glances at her. “Just Yugi and his friends, playing on the beach. I wanted to join them, but I couldn’t.” Isis doesn’t need all the details. “I’ve been alone for most of my life, Isis. No friends, no family. It usually doesn’t bother me, except… I do get jealous. I see other people and they’ll be best friends until they die, but me? I’ve never had anyone like that. I don’t think I ever will. But I’m more successful than they’ll ever be, so I can’t really be that heartbroken by it, can I?”

Isis listens, eyes cast down. What could she have done differently…? Maybe there was a way to save Malik without the tournament being put on. That would have avoided the casualties. No, don’t dwell on that. She can’t change what’s already happened. “I’m sorry… I should go.”

“Go?” Mai crosses her arms. “Why?”

“It’s my fault. All of it.” If she hadn’t let Malik out that day… She hastily grabs her wrap and turns to go.

Mai grabs her hand. “I didn’t say I want you to go.”

Isis stares back at her.

“It’s not your fault.”

“But he is my brother.”

“I’ll need time before I can handle family dinners, then.” Mai sighs, pulling away. “But I don’t know how you think leaving is doing me a favor.”

“You… don’t want to be alone.” Of course. Isis knew that, but the guilt…

Mai laughs at the painfully obvious statement. “I wanted to stay in touch for a reason.”

“Mai…” Her hand touches her collar, an old reflex. How did she not see this coming?

Mai rests one hand over Isis’ and cups her cheek with the other. “You don’t want to be alone, either,” she says. “Close your eyes. Trust me.”

Isis gazes at Mai wordlessly for a long moment before closing her eyes.

Mai brushes their lips together, barely touching at first, then gently all at once.

#5daysofygofemslash #mai valentine #mai kujaku #isis ishtar #ishizu ishtar #visionshipping #yugioh duel monsters #hnak vs ygo #hnak vs writing

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comm-caribou · 7 months

Text

Alright… let’s talk…

(Honestly, this post is mostly just an update on my life and why I’ve been off tumblr all year)

This is going to be a very long post with a lot of venting. No sugar coating it, no beating around the bush.

I’ve had some pretty messed up and awful things happen in my life, I don’t like talking about them openly. However, those things were spread out… this year SUCKED!

To explain where I’ve been, we have to start back in October when I stopped posting as much regularly.

I met a guy at work, we got along really great… but he just got out of an abusive relationship. Despite what I thought was an instant connection, he was wary of me and based on my own experience, I was guarded. We danced around this crush for weeks before our coworkers caught on and someone told him I’m single, someone told me he’s single, and we were exchanging numbers.

Despite dumping him and “wanting-nothing-to-do-with-him”, his ex continued to find reasons to message him or break into his home… so finding out he met someone, she was livid and somehow got both my number and my name. She was calling me and harassing me from an unknown number so I couldn’t even block her. When he found out, he ended up getting into a big fight with her and the ex disappeared, but it wasn’t over.

This guy and I started dating. We were happy and having fun learning all about each other, then my “friends” started cutting into the relationship and putting pressure on both of us. We weren’t even boyfriend/girlfriend yet and they were telling him to buy me stuff, give me flowers, take me places, and do things for me! If I told them to stop, they’d tell me they were just playing and to lighten up. In hindsight, I know I should of did better in stopping them, after all, it wasn’t fair to him to be harassed like that even if he said it didn’t bother him.

Things began falling apart in December. My (now ex) best friend invited me to a Christmas party. I don’t like parties, but she said he could come too. We went, he got a little drunk, she kept separating us to spend time with me, he got more drunk, I got overstimulated and annoyed, and I drove him home. Three days before Christmas, I get screenshots from his ex. He sent her drunk texts saying “I miss you, but I have a girlfriend now” and “I don’t feel happy anymore, I don’t have fun anymore”

What hurt worse a week before that, he told me I make him feel alive again and that he was falling in love with me. In less than a week, the same person who whispered he loved me told his ex he feels like nothing now that she’s gone.

I cried, vented to my friend, she comforted me, and then stabbed me in the back. I had told her not to bring it up because I wanted to talk to him and try to work this out. She told all our mutual friends and any coworker who would listen that he cheated on me right before Christmas, and guess who’s side they obviously took: mine.

I didn’t even get to talk to him before half the store knew some version of the story.

How he found out I knew was from one of his department coworkers—who has known me for years—basically going back there and asking him “what the f*ck is wrong with you?” and him getting an earful from the same people who helped push us together.

He was rightfully mad at me, but more so at my friend for sharing our business like that. We tried to get past it, but I was still hurt and I unintentionally made him very unliked employee.

I squashed the rumors, and people backed off.

His problems resolved. Mine didn’t.

I broke up with him. Deep down, I didn’t want to, but with everything happening I didn’t feel strong enough to keep going and he let me walk away saying I’m still his favorite coworker.

I cried for days, I was in love with him despite how much he hurt me.

A few weeks later I was informed the job I applied for in September was hiring again. I reapplied in January and got in, but it was going to be a long hiring process.

I still really liked my ex, it hurt seeing him, but we were still friends. My friends said it was very obvious he still cared for me, that there was a chance we could start again. He only came to me even if I had a line, he’d say hello to me, he’d make sure he said goodbye before leaving, he kept all my doodles, and I was delusional enough to believe them when they said that those were signs he still has feelings for me.

Except, he contacted his ex. The same person who abused him and harassed me multiple times was getting a second chance. It was Valentine’s Day and he told me I needed to forget him while I cried in the parking lot.

My friend dragged me out to the movies that night. I was heartbroken for this man all over again, and she was venting to me about how I was lucky since her crush doesn’t even notice her and that she’d give anything to have an one night stand with him. I just wanted to go home and she refused to let me go until we did something she could post on her Snap Story. She didn’t even care that you could see the tear marks on my face and posted a video of me acting happy and carefree in Target. I found out she posted it because she had my ex in her Snap friends and wanted him to see me “moving on”.

I was in hysterics crying when I finally drove home that I honestly shouldn’t have been driving.

I was in a very empty, sad state for weeks after that. I tried to pretend I was fine despite her telling everyone who’d listen that I was moping over a man who drunk texted his ex. The only thing I cared about at that point was getting my paperwork together to start my new job in March.

I barely spoke to my now ex, but the night before I started my new job, I got a bunch of texts from his phone. His now-girlfriend-again stole his phone and was texting me things like “you’re a f*cking slut” “crazy c*nt” “never talk to me again you stupid b*tch”.

She blocked on everything and I was laying in bed half asleep and extremely confused what happened when he called me on her phone. He to get us to clear things up, but all it was was her accusing him of cheating and her demanding me to explain myself. The last time I saw him outside of work was January and the only interaction we had that day was when he was when he came through my line to buy his lunch. It all gets straightened out (sort of) that he never was cheating and I’m just his friend/coworker, but I have to stay blocked. Even though I understand, I cry myself to sleep because I don’t know what happened and why it happened like that (I still don’t).

I start my new job, and it’s a month of online classes and training.

I was working three jobs by the end of March.

I’m sad, I’m stressed, I’m overworked.

It is the end of April, and my friend insists we go to the movies together to hang out. I agree to meet up at the theater after I get out of my very long day of working one job in the morning and another in the afternoon. Just as I’m about to drive half a hour to the theater, she cancels on me because she made other plans with other friends, but she says can hang out after nine o’clock.

I have work in the morning and I have a midnight curfew. When I try to tell her I can’t hang out that late at night, she doesn’t answer, so I drive home. Five minutes before the movie is suppose to start, she texts me suddenly able go with me again. At this point, I’m now home and not anywheres near close to being ready to go out and the theater is over half a hour away. She gets mad at me and accuses me of not making time for her anymore.

I hit my breaking point and our friendship starts dying from this point onward.

At the end of May—right before my birthday—I had a minor procedure done to help with my headaches. Nothing major, but I had to get my head cut open and stitches on the back of my head. I worried it was cancer—luckily it wasn’t—but I didn’t feel safe telling anyone considering how things went down the last time I shared what was happening in my life.

I dropped one of my jobs temporarily to focus on the new job and the summer job. Despite my manager position at the summer job, my supervisor had retired and the new supervisor didn’t really treat me as a manager. I had been there for nine years and for some reason my only use was training new employees. All my previous responsibilities were taken away and I would work eight hour long shifts outside in a hot shack with a janky desk fan doing nothing but reading books if I wasn’t showing a new sixteen year old how the cash register worked.

I put in my two weeks notice in June and was gone by July. The only ones who cared that I was leaving were the sixteen year old girls who thought it was cool I knew the latest TikTok trends, sang along to the Taylor Swift songs, and fangirled over the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie coming out.

After an extra a few weeks I spent focusing on the new job, I went back to work at the job with my ex and my ex-friend in early August. Despite working there only on weekends, I still found myself checking the parking lot to make sure I didn’t see either of their vehicles there. Most days I’m lucky and I can get away with not seeing either.

My mental health was beginning to take a turn for the worse as summer began to come to an end. I began a “healing journey” which included working on my passions, learning new skills, getting back in touch with my inner child, falling back in love with life, and working on my health.

Lately it’s been getting bad again despite my efforts.

Between the holidays coming up making both my jobs busy, my favorite coworker at my new job is leaving and it’s bringing out all the red flags about my new big girl job. We’re understaffed, there’s clear favoritism, and a lot stress put on us because of the field we work in.

Somedays I go home and I feel like I’m in a daze.

Most days, I lay in bed and just cry because the life I planned no longer exists and I feel stuck.

All I wanted in life was to fall in love, get married to someone who made me feel safe and loved, own a home together where we could raise our kids, and one day publish a physical book.

Now a days, I don’t feel anyone could love me and even if they could I won’t be able to love them. I thought my biggest challenge was going to be publication, not romance.

I’m just here. Stuck somewhere between I want to live and wondering what’s the point? I don’t want to die and I’m not actively thinking of ways to end my life, but there are nights where I lay in bed and the idea of not waking up in the morning doesn’t sound too bad.

I just want to write silly headcanons or lovey dovey stories, but I don’t feel happy and the idea of love hurts.

I want the old me back, but she’s gone.

The new me isn’t sure who exactly she is yet either.

All I know is this is me trying.

#caribou speaks #trigger warning #tw depressing thoughts #don’t even get me started about the flash backs from 2021 being worse this year #yes I cry a lot

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neurodivergent-uni-support-group · 1 year

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UK Learning Support Plan Part 2 – Disabled Students Allowance

(I'm sorry in advance for how long this ended up being, but hopefully that means it's as helpful as possible.)

I wrote the first part of this with general information about how UK universities can support disabled students back in September, when I’d just submitted my DSA form and was waiting to hear back from them. Quite a lot has happened since then, so it’s probably time to talk about my experience!

I’ve been accepted for DSA! What now?

Thankfully I didn’t need to get denied and reapply at any point – they just accepted my application first time! It was around a month’s wait time though, so better to apply sooner rather than later. The first thing they asked me to do was choose an assessment centre I wanted to go to for my assessment. There’s a webpage on the government website where you can write in your postcode and it comes up with all of the different options in your area. I had a few different companies to choose from both near where I live and on campus, so it’s whatever suits you best! And if you really hate the idea of doing an appointment face-to-face, there’s options for remote assessments.

Once you’ve picked who you want to conduct the appointment and when you want it to happen, you need to submit your letter from the DSA confirming eligibility and any medical evidence you had to submit initially. It’s also important that, if your assessment company hasn’t asked you already, you make a note of the specific types of technology you have (laptop, phone, home printer, etc.) and particularly how old they are.

The DSA Assessment

Despite being called an assessment, you don’t have to prove you’re disabled enough to get DSA or anything! The hard part’s over, this is now to assess what kind of support you need. The person who conducted my appointment was lovely and we ended up going slightly over the time we’d planned, so take that possibility into consideration when you’re figuring out your plan for the day.

In the appointment, there was a really long form on the computer, already mostly written. This is because we went through each section one-by-one with me talking about my experiences and needs and the assessor going through and deleting things that weren’t needed and adding extra details that were. It started off with talking about my course, how long I’d be studying, my disability - all basic information. Then we went through the options of things that could help in those specific areas, the assessor demonstrating various different software so I could choose which I thought would help the most and carried on.

It’s okay to feel slightly overwhelmed by it all! The assessor’s there to help and anything you feel afterwards you want to add or take away can be done so really easily! It’s all trial and error.

I will go through the different sections we looked at in my appointment in a minute, but once the main assessing was done, my assessor generated a list of the things we’d agreed would help me, expected costs of things that needed buying, and then general recommendations on how the university should be supporting me personally.

Once the report was generated, I was told that I’d probably get a draft report. Once I read through it and made sure it looked right, I approved it and it was officially submitted to the funding body!

What kind of things can DSA help with?

1. Research and reading

Pretty much does what it says on the tin, this was around how I processed information and utilised it in lessons and assessments. For me they recommended the text-to-voice programme ClaroRead. I have been using the mobile app @Voice for a few years now and it’s still excellent as a free option for text-to-voice, but with ClaroRead, I’ve been able to use it on my laptop, only read small sections of articles at a time, and also download full audio files of the article being read out.

They also recommended a subscription to an article summarising website, to make it easier for me to pick out only the most important parts of articles rather than just assuming everything was important and writing it down. The subscription I got was for Scholarcy which has been extremely helpful, but I have since also been using a free version of WordTune Read. They both do similar things, but the free version of the second one means that I can only use it on two article a month, and Scholarcy lets me put things in folders.

2. Writing and Reviewing Academic Work

This one kind of blends in with the last one, especially if you study in the School of English like I do. The only official recommendation they made here was ClaroRead again, since I could use it to review my own writing as well. However, I will quickly go through some of the options that were offered but I refused, as well as free ones I’d been using anyway.

I’ve got methods of planning that worked well enough for me already, so I didn’t need anything to help with that. But, there was a programme that came in the general Claro bundle I got called ClaroIdeas. It’s a mindmap programme and if you’ve currently got a free alternative that’s frustrating you slightly, it might be something useful to have a go with. I haven’t really used it though, so can’t speak too much on its behalf.

I’m pretty confident with punctuation, spelling and grammar so didn’t really need anything to help with that. However, one of the options they did offer was a paid subscription for Grammarly. If you’ve been on the internet at any point in the last five years, you’ve probably heard more about Grammarly than you’ve ever wanted to, so you don’t really need me explaining it. But if you have the free version and want to upgrade while you’re at uni, this is a pretty good way of doing it.

This is one I’ve been using for quite a while (though have had to bookmark everywhere because I do keep forgetting the name ironically) – One Look Thesaurus. I think I found it through tumblr initially but this thing’s amazing. If you can’t remember a word, you just type in whatever words you can to describe it, and with luck it turns up on the list! I use it for everything, from essays to emails to normal conversations.

Another one I was using already, though this one was actually recommended to me as well – Zotero. This is a free referencing programme, where you put details of anything you read in a database and, when the time comes to reference them, you have them on hand! You can put things in folders, have group folders with other people for group projects, and tag items with keywords so you can find them easily again.

3. Note-taking in lectures and seminars

This was the big one for me. Since I struggle with figuring out on the spot what’s important enough to take notes on and what isn’t as important, I needed a way of recording sessions so I could go back to them easily. Some universities are supposed to offer this universally through lecture capture technology – my university is supposed to offer it but argues that it only records lectures and all of mine are seminars so it doesn’t count.

There were a few different options suggested to me for doing this and your individual circumstances will help you decide whether you want something that plugs into your computer, something connected to your phone or something else. I was worried about battery life and prefer to hand write, so in the end we went for a Livescribe pen. This is a smart pen that records your handwriting, records audio around you and pairs them together, so you can click on a specific part of your notes and get the audio that was happening as you were writing. Because I’m only studying for a year, I received a bundle which included the pen, four A4 notebooks and a pack of refills, a bundle which has been more than enough to cover me for the whole year. If you’re doing it longer I believe you can get top-ups each year, but if you want to continue using it outside of university, it’s not overly expensive to get notebooks and ink independently.

4. Managing time and organising work

This is partly a day-to-day thing. I was recommended a few apps and programmes for this with varying success. One task manager they recommended to me was Global Tasks, which comes as a mobile app and a website. I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve used this one since I first got training for it. It’s meant to make things easier when you’re overwhelmed with different things that need doing and want to prioritise some over others, but it’s a bit bulky and there aren’t any widgets for it, so I just forget to use it. If you think that’s something that may be useful for you though, feel free to look into it more! Other people may have had more success with it than I.

One thing that I do use a bit more that was recommended is Brain in Hand. While this also lets you put down tasks, it’s a lot more catered to emotional struggles and executive functioning. It’s also both an app and a website, and annoyingly you can only change the diary on the website, but it’s the other functions that really make it shine. Once you have the app on your phone, it can send you pop-ups regularly throughout the day asking how you’re feeling out of green, amber and red. You can adjust this to appear at whatever rate helps you best (I currently get one every two hours from 9am to Midnight) and if you hit red or if you press three ambers in a row (that part can be turned off), it will contact a 24/7 response service who will text or phone you (whichever you prefer) to check that you’re alright. You also get a mentor who meets with you regularly throughout your time using the service, so they can help you adjust your problem solution packs, be there with you when you test the emergency service to see if it works, or just generally help with whatever you’re struggling with! I’ve personally found it particularly helpful to meet with my mentor once a month, since then it gives me a deadline to be regularly updating the app.

On the less helpful side of things, my assessor also recommended I get 30 hours with a specialist mentor to go through time management techniques. That would’ve been great, but the uni didn’t have room for me and there was a long process to get a private company to mentor me, so I kind of just gave up on that end. If that’s something that would really help you though, push for it!

5. Access to and use of technology

This is probably one more for people with mobility-related disabilities, but it was still really useful to go through! If you end up with new computer programmes you’re being recommended, chances are this is where they will recommend time with an Assistive Technology Trainer, who will take you through all of the software and help with anything you’re struggling with. They may also recommend a Microsoft 360 subscription, but those are usually provided by the university anyway.

The main thing I received through here is a laptop. This goes back to the point about making notes of what technology you have and its age in advance, but my laptop at the time wasn’t powerful enough to run the programmes that were being recommended. I was recommended a laptop, but the caveat here was that I had to pay the first £200 for it and if I wanted a laptop that was more powerful than the one I was being recommended, I would also have to pay the difference. If you would struggle financially to cover £200 for one, there is a chance the university might be able to help with that part, but I just wanted to get everything before December so was happy to pay. There was a specific website I had to order this through and it gave me the option of a windows laptop or a macbook, as well as a bag or case to come with it. The company I had to go through also put all of the programmes on there before sending it, so I didn’t have to deal with all of the installation.

6. Placements, field trips, examinations and timed assessments

This was two separate sections in my assessment, but since I don’t have any of these things on my course, we mostly just deleted everything and carried on. But it’s important to note that there are things in place to help with all of these!

7. Social interaction and communication

This section was mainly about how I interact with people around me, especially in lectures and seminars. We also talked a bit about presentations, since there was at least one I was aware of that I would be assessed on. For presentations, I was recommended Present Pal. This is a mobile app and can be used as an add-in on Microsoft Powerpoint and Google Slides. Admittedly, when I tried to do this on Google Slides it wasn’t very successful, so I sort of gave up trying to connect it to the presentation, but it still works without being specifically connected! You can create flashcards to go through on your phone throughout the presentation and add a timer so you know whether you need to speed up or slow down at any point.

In addition to this, we talked about Brain in Hand again, since it helps you prepare for things you’re worried might go wrong and how to deal with them if they happen.

8. Travel and access to higher education environment

Again, this was aimed more at physical disabilities and potential issues with mobility, though immunocompromised people may also be helped in this section. I live at home and get the train in, but when I have a routine and get blast music through my headphones, it’s pretty alright. So, beyond talking about adding any potential anxiety around travel to Brain in Hand, there wasn’t a huge amount to talk about here.

One thing my assessor did say is that if it got to the point where train travel was too overwhelming and I couldn’t get into uni that way anymore, there may be opportunity for DSA to fund taxis to get to uni. There probably would’ve been stipulations around this, but that may be useful for some people.

What comes after the assessment?

As I said, once I’d confirmed the report looked good, it was sent off to the official funding body. They approved it after three weeks and sent me instructions on how to put all of the support in place. There were a few different companies I needed to contact for this and it was all online, so if you think executing dysfunction is going to get in the way of that, please get a friend or family member to nag you to do it or go through it with you!

If you’re just receiving software, it should be fairly quick to receive everything. I just needed to download the mobile apps from the store and wait to receive the login info to use.

If you need some kind of mentoring, they may be fairly quick to book up, so it’s probably best to do this sooner rather than later.

If you’re getting physical supports items, naturally these will take longer so any software that comes with these physical items will too.

And it’s probably best to wait until you have received all of your items to start an Assistive Technology training.

I think all in all it took about a month for everything to arrive for me, but that will probably vary depending on your specific recommendations and circumstances. So yeah, hopefully this helps with anyone wanting to go through the DSA process! If there’s anything else anyone wants to ask about or something that needs clarifying, just let me know!

#starting university #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #university #university life #disabled students allowance

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amieravenson · 5 months

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Witchifying Your Work

I have to take a moment to be honest right now. I'm lucky in this regard because I work from home. In fact, I'm writing this in between work tasks. Don't tell my managers! But I'm sitting here at my desk, with a Pumpkin Bonfire candle going, surrounded by charm bags, stones and crystals, incense, and a big ol' pentacle hanging from the edge of one of my monitors. (Thanks Estelle!) On a whim, I could go make a nice herbal tea or pet the kitty who would be my familiar if I asked her. I'm surrounded by bookcases covered in witchy books, tarot decks, oracle decks, and owl plushies. I have a beautiful, snowy, moonlit deer background on both of my monitors to remind me of the season. I know that I'm fortunate, and I don't take it for granted. But what do you do if you don't work from home? I did that for a long time, too, and I learned some tips and tricks that might help you. We'll start with the most obvious. - Carry stones in your pocket, in your bra, or in your bag. If you want to take this a step further, you can make a pouch filled with work-assisting stones and herbs and carry that with you instead. Take a moment to hold them when you need to. - Create an essential oil blend that will substitute as a perfume and wear that into the office. Reapply as often as you feel like you need it, as a little magickal pick-me-up. - Draw a tarot card, or use some other form of divination every morning before work. This can help you see what kind of day you'll have, as well as give you a focus for where you need to put your mental energy. - Can you listen to music at work? Create a playlist of sacred songs that bring you immediately to your spiritual place, and pop your ear buds in when you need a break. (Don't do this if you're operating heavy machinery!) - Pray or meditate in the restroom for 5 minutes. Even a short break to ground and center can help you face the rest of your day. Carry a picture of your deity in your wallet for a quick devotional moment of prayer at your desk. - Eat something healthy and delicious for your lunch period, and focus on your personal wellness and happiness. - Find coworkers of a like mind and make some friends. Don't let people who are filled with negativity and blame into your circle. They'd probably feel uncomfortable there anyways. - Create a rhyme that will help you ground and center, cast off negativity, or calm yourself, depending on what sorts of problems your job brings you. For example, I can get crazy during my day, so a rhyme to calm myself amidst the chaos is really helpful! - Bring a journal and jot down positive things that happen in your day so you can focus on them. - Unless you really love, love, LOVE your job, leave it at work when you go home for the day. Do a quick cleansing ritual when you get home every day to slough off the frustrations of the day.

Some good stones for work are:

- Anything grounding that will keep you on the right path, like moss agate, dendritic agate, petrified wood. - Black sapphire helps you retain a job. - Black tourmaline to soak up any negativity from coworkers. - Fluorite helps you be creative and think clearly, and also may help your computer work better. - Malachite to alleviate electromagnetic pollution you might find at your workplace. - Smoky quartz also helps reduce electromagnetic pollution and also negativity, so you get a double whammy there!

Some good herbs and essential oils for work are:

- Lavender for stress relief if needed. - Peppermint for energy. - Rosemary for focus and rememberance. - Ylang ylang can help you find a job, and can help you seem irresistible during an interview. These are just some ideas, but I know I've missed quite a few. What do you do to decompress during work hours, and bring spirituality back into your day? Read the full article

#career #job #magick #pagan #wicca #witchcraft #work

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ahiddenpath · 1 year

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I’m Back from Vacay/Life Update/Writing Update

Gonna getcha up to date on Hiddenland beneath the cut!

Vacation

I returned from the US Virgin Islands, St. Thomas yesterday. We were there for 5 days. I’ve never been, and I’ve also never taken a “do nothing” vacation, so it was an adventure, lol!

We stayed near Red Hook in an air B&B. The internet basically persuaded me not to try a resort, citing crowded resorts, lack of privacy, etc- also, a lot of resorts don’t really provide easy access to a beach. Our unit had its own pool, which was a huge selling point... But unfortunately, it was fed by ice cold spring water. Literally, when we hurt our feet, we put them in the pool to reduce the swelling. So... Well, I was disappointed by that.

But the beaches were stunning, with turquoise water that you could walk into- it was fairly warm, I mean, not “ooof ughh coldcoldcold!”. I guess the trouble was getting out, since there were constant breezes on the beach, enough for kite surfing in some places.

So if you know me, you might know that I have anxiety and that I’m... Busy brained? I was so antsy the first day of the trip, thinking- Is this really fun? Wouldn’t doing something be better? But after about three hours of sitting on the beach, my brain flipped off like a switch. I never felt like... “Ahhhh, so relaxed.” Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that. But my brain did go quiet, and I read three books in five days, lol.

We also went on a turtle snorkel and sunset sailing tour. We did see one green sea turtle, and thank goodness, because snorkeling in St. Thomas was nothing like snorkeling in Hawaii, at least not where we went. In Hawaii, there’s always something to look at, all kinds of colorful fish. In St. Thomas, I saw one turtle and a handful of sea stars. The sailing was nice, though- I’ve never sailed before.

I also got horrendously sunburned the first day. You know how it is- that first day, I’m all cute in my swimsuit, feeling great. The second day, I’m wearing a swim shirt, swim trunks for ladies (truly the best thing ever), swim socks, a hat, sunglasses, and visible regret. Seriously, I really hurt myself, I was in agony. I applied and reapplied the heck out of my 50 SPF sunscreen, too, so I’m pissed.

If you want more details, let me know, because I learned a lot on the trip about vacationing in St. Thomas. Overall, I’d say it was a nice lowkey experience, but damn the sunburns and the ice pool were upsetting.

Also, my shy cat recognized me right away when I came home, which was a relief! On my last trip, she treated me like I was a stranger wearing a Hidden suit for a few days x_x

Life Update

I feel like I’ve just been... Adjusting? To a new life? The last few months. I can say that my new job really is a mental health improvement over the last one. I also get paid more- like appreciably more, and it turns out that this also reduces stress (who knew, right? /sarcasm). But it is still a huge adjustment, and I’ve already found some of the new problems in the new place (mainly that they are hiring more people than they have space for, and they just... keep... hiring and telling us to deal with it however we want).

I’ve also been focusing on health, particularly exercising and reducing my resting heart rate. I already reduced it by 2 bpm in about 6 weeks! Taking better care of my physical self truly is possible, like in quantifiable ways (which makes my scientist brain happy). It just helps to have small, manageable goals, and to focus on health rather than weight.

Writing News

So for most of camp digimonth, we had daily 45 min sprints for our writers and artists on the discord. It was really fun to create together, and I’m so proud of everyone!

I hate to say it, but I basically wrote or finished two new chapters, and barely touched my nanowrimo draft. I also completed an artwork and am mostly done with another. Er- basically, I did a lot, but also not... What I... Thought I would?

Soooo I am thinking that updates to PdA will start again in late February or early March, to give me more time to make a ready-to-post content buffer.

And on that note, I’m going to go write! Much love, mwah! I hope you’re all doing amazing.

#hidden's life

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winged-bat · 2 years

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Right, okay, as promised: I’m here to yell about my vague cyberpunk batfam AU ideas

So I was gonna make it one big fic but uh. I’m incapable of writing big fics, so I came up with the idea to write little snapshots instead (kinda like Living In The Sprawl)

And this entire idea started bc I started comparing Jason to Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes from Marvel and thought “okay but imagine Jason with a mechanical arm” and the cyberpunk idea began

So obviously the original story was gonna loosely follow the events from A Death In The Family, Lost Days & Under The Red Hood, except Gotham is now a cyberpunk city, and rather than the Lazarus Pit being a magical fix-it, it’s a laboratory that specialises in cyborg-technology. Talia pretty much resurrects Jason, except he’s got some metal bits and parts now, and Jason is very very upset about the whole thing.

Anyway, that was the original idea. But since I decided to split it up into multiple smaller snapshots, and I’ve been reading so much Timkon fics lately, I thought “there’s gotta be a way to work them into a cyberpunk setting”

So now Kon is mostly metal (still part human, he’s just been horribly experimented on) and is freed from CADMUS by Tim when Batman shuts the place down, and from there on its pretty cute and sweet

But yeah, those are some ideas I have so far. Still looking for more inspiration, so if you’ve got anything, I’m all ears lol

OHH I LOVE THESE

For Jason its a story on how he navigates the world with his metal parts, how he ajustes to things now. His arm constantly locking up and him accommodating to oiling and cleaning his arm and other metal bits to prevent rust & malfunctions. The constant reapplies when its rains and such. It him re learning how to do things again, its about him learning to accept himself and how he’s changed. Its him taking time and finding ways to love these new aspects about himself, it about acceptance and self love.

For the Timkon its a story about Kon learning about the world without the words of cruel people in his ear, its him learning how to be himself, how to be human after he spent so long only being used for others benefit and seen as a weapon/tool, its about him learning to heal and falling in love with what some of humanity has to offer, its him seeing Tim and finding that not all people are bad. It Tim helping him navigate things and unexceptionally falling in love but keeping quiet bc this is all still so new to Kon. Its them taking things one at a time, and moving slowly so Kon has time to adjust and fully understand what it is they’re doing.

#MHHHMMM IM HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT THIS NOW #asks :]

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tehlittletoaster · 9 months

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day 1 of being a camp counselor

i’ve been here for about 24 hours with campers. here are somethings i’ve learned about my kids aged 6-8:

- they hate listening to you when you’re telling them they can’t do something they find fun. these girls wanted to roll down a hill. in the middle of the woods. known for having ticks. they wanted to swing between their metal bunk beds. they were running at 10pm in the dark, not caring about falling and breaking something. and they won’t stop.

- they will believe anything you tell them. they think my name is toaster, that i’m 190 years old, and my parent’s names are tree and rock.

- E N E R G Y . they didn’t want to go to bed until 11:30pm last night. i get staying up late, but we are staying up until at least 10:30 tonight and i reminded them that at least 5 times before going to bed, we still had to yell at them.

- they love swimming. for our entire activity before pool, they would not shut up about going to the pool. every five minutes, it’d be like, “when can we go to the pool?” “are we going to the pool now?” “can we leave for the pool now?” mind you these are BABIES wanting to go swim in chlorinated water. why? i do not know. i also just hate pools.

- sensitive. little. beings. one of my littles failed the swim test because they kept grabbing onto the wall while taking it (whats the point of the test if we know you can just hold onto the walls?), and they would not. stop. crying. for what was probably only 5 minutes but it felt like forever. they kept saying “i hate shallow!” or “i like swimming!” even after telling them many times that i have never swam in that side of the pool (true, i’ve been going here since i was her age and still have never gone on the deep end). they eventually gave up and got their wristband because their friends got out of the water. i am so happy i will not be with them the next time they go to the pool. my break is scheduled then!

- super touchy. completely unaware of personal space. while i was working with a HOT GLUE GUN, these kids were literally, like legit, breathing down my neck. i could feel their sticky little warm bodies next to me while i was glueing these ribbons onto their little popsicle stick stars. i had to say multiple times to get into a line. they keep coming up behind me and hugging me while i’m sitting. if it happens again, i am 100% going to tell them about boundaries.

- they forget. EVERYTHING. before leaving this morning, i reminded them we were going to the pool. at least 10 times. mentioning that you need a change of clothes. guess how many kids forgot something? only two, but one kid forgot their towel, one forgot their underwear, another forgot their hair stuff, another forgot their hairbrush, etc. and none of them brought dry clothes to change into. none. we remind them to grab their water bottles every time we leave our quarters, since it’s summer in the midwest and it’s easy to get dehydrated. theres always at least two that leave them on their beds. some didn’t even bring a water bottle to camp. we have to give them leftover stock from last year. and those kids that get new water bottles? still forget them wherever they go. its wild to me how they can be thirsty, complain about being thirsty, and yet still forget to grab them.

- they don’t understand wastefulness yet. at opening fire last night, they all reapplied bug spray at least 5 times each. after being reminded that once or twice was enough. they spray it for fun sometimes. they spray it on their friends. they’re gonna run out of bug spray halfway through the week and we won’t be able to help them. they also waste food. at breakfast, only two of my campers finished their plates. there were half full or full bowls of cereal. a semi-touched bowl of oatmeal. an entire plate of just bacon. these kids want to eat it all, but they physically can’t. and they know it. but they still want to grab all of the bacon they can just because they wanna.

i will add more onto this post tomorrow on my break, because why not. i love typing out my days instead of writing them, so i might just turn this into a camp counselor blog. if, y’know, tumblr still is active lmao

#campers #kids #summer camp #i love/hate my job #its fun but i also really hate yelling at these children #two of them remind me of when i was a camper #this is hell #but also not

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nakedactives · 1 year

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survivingsusac · 2 years

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MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS

MY LAST POST WAS OVER 6 MONTHS AGO.

It has been a little insane around here, and I haven't been able to give this blog the attention that I have wanted to because I've been in school since March of this year, and it's been a eight to five Monday through Friday kind of ordeal. So bear with me; I'm gonna jump right into this without giving you a lot of back story.

I sent an e-mail to my ultrasound school’s program director, my four instructors, and the student services admin person to let them know that I needed to pause my Ultrasound program. You can see that at the end, after my story.

Let me start, not at the literal beginning, but with enough context to give you an idea of what happened.

I am a little bit over educated in that I have a bachelors degree and a masters degree level education. This has led me to use up all of my FAFSA school loans. I have worked throughout all of my college years and provided any tuition payments that weren't covered by my school loans by myself. I have never had a cosigner on my loans, nor have I taken out any personal loans to cover the cost of tuition.

My school is incredible and top notch and immersive. They require me to be on campus Monday through Friday from 8:00 AM until about 4:30 PM. This does not include the amount of time I need to spend studying after those hours conclude. This time requirement resulted in me drastically decreasing my availability for work.

Now, the tuition payments that the school asks of me are literally over twice the amount of my rent each month. Long story cut a little bit short, I cannot afford to pay tuition and pay for life necessities at the same time. I have reached out to financial aid and they cannot offer me a longer payment plan with less amounts each month.

I came to the realization that I would need to take a break from school to earn money to pay for school. Once I do that, I plan to go back to the program and have enough money to pay tuition in full.

This is something that I knew I was going to need to do about a month ago and began conversations with the director about at that time. But the Leave of Absence we discussed is limited to 6 months.

The amount of time I need to make enough money to cover all of tuition as well as health insurance for my daughter and myself cannot be earned within six months. So I had some very painful, serious conversations with myself, my mom, my work, and I’ve been looping in Ideal Partner, and determined that I need to work my little katukis off for about four years to make the amount I need to pay tuition in full and provide myself and my little girl health insurance without having a job to provide it.

I only ever do things with 100% commitment. I was actually joking around with my daughter the other day that I literally cannot do things half ass, I have to use the whole ass to do things. Except it's not a joke! I'm serious!

The program is two years long, and I learned today from the admin at school that I’ll get credit for the classes I’ve taken so far. So I figure to pay for everything for those two years (combining rent, health insurance, and full tuition cost NOT including food or clothing) I’ll need to save about $94,000. If I wanted to reapply in a year that would mean saving about $1,800 bucks a week.

I told school today to expect to see my reapplication in or around 2026. That’s saving $450.00 each week specifically toward that $94,000.

I’ll be working as many hours as my workplace will give me, and probably look at picking up gig jobs. Wish me luck!

Here’s the letter I sent to the director, those four instructors, and the student services administrator, names changed to characters for anonymity’s sake:

Dear ?????, ====, ++++, >>>>, ****, and %%%%

As you may be aware, I have been considering taking a Leave of Absence from the Gurnick Academy of Medical Arts (GAMA) Associate of Occupational Science in Ultrasound Technology (AOSUT) Degree Program (Program) for financial reasons. I was directed to meet with %%%% to finalize the paperwork for the process. To date, there has been no meeting.

I would first like to share with you a little about how I came to be at GAMA. In 2012, I received a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at the University of California, Merced. In 2016, I went on the complete the program for Master of Arts in Psychology at Brandman University, to prepare to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT).

In 2016, a series of life events culminated that lead me to realize that LMFT was no longer a wise career path for me to pursue. It became more and more obvious that I was not in full health. I spent the next several years working with doctors trying to find a diagnosis and then a treatment plan for the disease that was robbing me of my life. During that time, some of the most supportive people that I encountered were the sonographers that provided the many ultrasound exams that I received. They brought me solace and comfort at a time when I had to fight not only my body, but a health system that was, and continues to be, apprehensive to deal with the complexity of the rare disease I have been diagnosed with.

The sonographers’ impact on my life during that time lead me to pursue ultrasound as my new career choice. I wanted to share with others the care that they had shared with me. This is how I came to be at GAMA. I was drawn to the prestige and thoroughness of the AOSUT Program. The Program focuses on the skills and knowledge which make a successful sonographer.

The Program is immersive, to say the least. I have tried several strategies to improve my educational performance. In a discussion with ???? earlier this year, he told me to be a “brat”; to be selfish by dedicating my time to studying so I could succeed.

While I would like to become a ”brat” and continue in the Program, at this juncture in my life, I need to be selfish and put my needs first. My physical and mental health and my financial stability, need to take precedence. I would like to be a quality student and perform at the level appropriate to represent GAMA and succeed. While I would love to live and breathe sonography, I am unable to do so at this time.

It is with careful thought and consideration that I make the following decision. Please accept this as notice that I am withdrawing from the AOSUT Program that I am currently enrolled in. Once my health is stable and my finances are secure, I hope to pursue my goal of becoming an Ultrasonographer at GAMA. Gurnick may look forward to seeing my reapplication in or around 2026.

????, I treasure your expertise, experience, and the support you have shown me.

====, I appreciate your enthusiasm and your KitKats.

++++, I value your patience and guidance.

>>>>, I respect your teaching skills and knowledge.

****, I admire your attention to detail.

Sincerely,

Aurora Carlson

Surviving Susac (among other things)

Aurora

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kneepruner06 · 2 years

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Three Undeniable Facts About Framed Dragonfly

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#3d metal

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nathanielv537 · 2 years

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Log 10

This lesson we studied more about InDesign and looked at different aspects of the software from last time. My skills were improved from last lesson and hopefully they will improve again this lesson. I enjoy learning the little tips and tricks.

Pages

In the real world pages work exactly how you would expect shown from this diagram.

However in indesign this is what we will be used to looking at. Once you fully wrap your head around it, it will make sense. It didn’t take too long to understand it.

A good tip would be to think about how times you see the spine of the book in the middle and then think about how many rows of page(s) there are in indesign. It should be the same number.

Now I will make a book in indesign

Start of with an a4 document and get the pages tab open.

(If you can’t find a tab you need the window menu is always helpful)

Right now we only have one page but we can add pages at the bottom right next to the bin icon.

For the upcoming assessment I’ve added 7 pages.

(8 in total)

On the first page I’ve added a text that says “Cover” for the cover.

Next we are going to copy that text box and go to another page to ‘paste in place’

Shift + Alt + Control + V = (Paste in place)

After pasting I’ve just reworded the text to the corresponding page to our book.

After some more pasting you’ll notice that the ‘paste in place’ feature won’t work for a page on the other side. So with the selection tool (V) just move it over while holding shift to constrain it horizontally.

Next is using the ‘parent pages’

Double clicking A-Parent will let you work on the parent pages. Essentially working on these will apply whatever you add to all the pages. So this will help us here for page numbers as we know that will be a constant in all pages.

With a quick rectangle box and a duplication shortcut we have to boxes on the corners.

Color

Here is the swatches menu. Though it is different to photoshop it is easy to learn and figure out.

Double clicking a swatch will let you change it’s color. Or you may also add swatches to however many you’d like. Here I’m changing the red swatch with CYMK.

Here our cover has the parent page applied that contains our soon to be page number. But most books don’t have the page number on the cover right? Here’s how we can remove it without affecting the other pages.

The [None] option at the top is exactly what is says... It’s a blank page so if you drag that over to the cover page...

All gone :)

However if we wanted to and this was a mistake we can reapply the parent page by dragging it over the same way we did for the none page.

A document can have more than one parent page. Parent pages should be treated like presets that you can utilize to save time.

Example: Some of the pages in your book have a black background. So you can make parent pages that have white page numbers to contrast it specifically to the black background pages.

I’ve quickly altered the position of the page number boxes.

I’ve put an actual page number in the parent pages however... If it’s just with the text box every page will just say page 1... Here’s how to change that.

Select the number.

CORRUPTED SAVE

This post didn’t save and I lost the rest of this so I will do a summary.

Click this in the type drop down menu. (Make sure it’s on the parent page)

Customize margins and columns here.

I’ve learnt that columns are an essential to design (more on that later)

Swiss grid typography

Swiss grid typography is method of designing that you will find everywhere.

It’s a staple in design and it’s because it’s satisfying to look at, with or without the grid. You will find grid layouts everywhere nowadays.

Learning this almost blew my mind. It feels like I’ve adopted another way of looking at design that you cannot unsee anymore. This definitely helps me as a designer as I feel much more knowledgeable from this.

Reflection

The lesson was amazing. Learning about pages and everything else was easy and exactly how I’d imagined it. But also learning about how a lot of media is designed really topped the lesson and I felt was very educational.

And I feel super confident using InDesign now.

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