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cordeliawhohung · 3 days

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pornstar!gaz x fem!reader

everything was fine until he showed up

cw: alcohol, parties, kyle is jealous jealous, arguements

Quiet music hums through the surround sound set up in the studio’s penthouse, but it’s not quite loud enough to drown out the sound of Kyle’s teeth grinding together.

Parties always set him on edge, but anything that involves work is especially excruciating. Everything is so fake. Plastic. Synthetic. The actors and actresses on set, the sounds everyone makes, the shitty positions directors always force people into; it’s just as bad off set as it is on set. Faux laughter, forced pleasantries. Even when the cameras aren’t rolling, no one can escape the fact that they’re always performing.

Kyle wonders if you feel the same way in that sequin dress. It’s hardly long enough to cover the crux of your ass, and the spaghetti straps keep falling off your shoulders. Your lips keep curving into the most beautiful smile as you sip on your martini while chatting with various people next to the hors d'oeuvres table. Kyle’s been nursing his own drink for the last forty minutes; a strong whiskey on the rocks because they refused to serve anything as simple as a pint. The liquor is getting to him. Numbing his nerves enough to make it feel like he’s floating, but not enough to stave off that insatiable ache in his stomach.

He’s thought about you all day. What he wants to say to you. How he wants to say it. Those words have stayed locked tight in his throat since the moment his eyes found you in the crowd. He’s nothing but a pathetic wreck of a man hiding in the corner of the room with the least amount of traffic. Some people search him out for a short conversation, but the sour mood he’s in must be acrid because they wander off not too long after attempting to chat him up.

Leaving both you and that party far behind him is enticing. It’s hot and stuffy; utterly suffocating. Perhaps he can sleep off whatever this haze is — this roaring emotion he refuses to name — and return to it tomorrow. But he’s wasting away. That feeling inside of him has already eaten more of him than he can bear.

It only gets worse when Simon shows up.

He’s a difficult man to miss with his hulking size and tattooed arms. The brute cleans up nice enough with freshly washed hair and dark casual clothes that fits in well with the semi-formal attire everyone else is wearing. Kyle’s trying to be rational about the whole situation. Simon’s technically a colleague, not competition, and treating you like an object to be won feels cruel. Besides, for all he knows your little confession to him on set was scripted.

Still, that thought doesn’t cease the memories. Doesn’t halt the way he can hear you saying it over and over again, nothing but a broken record he can’t fix. It’s corrupted the kinder memory he’s been trying to hold of your half-awake words when you told him you loved him. Him and not Simon.

The vile thought that you say that to everyone crosses his mind, but only briefly before he flushes it out like a bad wound.

Kyle chokes on his drink when he finds you in the crowd again and realizes that you aren’t alone.

He can tell by your alluring smile that it’s a friendly conversation, something he shouldn’t be concerned about, and your shoulders dance with laughter at something Simon’s telling you. Kyle’s fingers twitch as he watches Simon lean closer to you, curving down to try and meet your height as he attempts to speak over the growing chatter of the crowd that fills the room.

Something superheats Kyle’s blood to a rolling boil as he watches Simon’s hand skirt against the small of your back. He’s so incredibly soft and gentle with you, nothing but respectful as he assists you in moving away from the cunt who won’t stop digging his elbow into your side by accident — he hates it. He hates it because it should be him there with you, guiding you through a sea of drunken idiots. It hurts more knowing that it could have been him if he had just gotten over himself and approached you when he first found you.

Then, the ever attentive Simon Riley looks through the crowd. Certainly he’s looking for a new spot. Someplace less crowded. Certainly he didn’t mean to look directly at Kyle, still hiding off on the sidelines like a proper recluse. It’s gut-wrenching, unnerving. The small smirk that pulls at Simon’s lips nearly has Kyle’s fingers squeezing through the glass in his hand, and he keeps himself from biting through his tongue as he watches the man lean down to grab your attention again.

What Simon says to you, he can’t be sure. All he knows is that your gaze flickers through the outskirts of the crowd until you find him. Kyle has never felt so exposed in his entire life. Even his first time being bare and naked on set hadn’t left him feeling so open. But it doesn’t last long. The very moment your eyes land on him, you freeze.

You freeze, expression stiffening, chest ceasing in movement, eyes widening.

Then you look away.

It’s then that Kyle realizes he can’t stand the stuffy air.

The sun hasn’t quite set yet over London, and it’s fighting with fiery clouds and brilliant beams to stay above the horizon. It’s a luminous sight that he’s glad no one else seems interested in trying to enjoy. The terrace is completely devoid of anyone else, leaving him alone with nothing but the breeze. Everything is always better without prying eyes to ruin the view.

But it’s too late. It’s difficult to enjoy the cotton candy clouds and beautiful shadows of the skyline when his mood is already contaminated. He’s decided that he cannot — afterall — go through with this attempt. This silly notion that he can admit his feelings to you. A storm of emotions brews in the cauldron of his stomach, and he’s choking on the fumes. It’s too much. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you over his inability to keep himself grounded.

A loud burst of chatter bleeds into the evening air followed by sharp heels clacking against the concrete floor of the terrace as the sliding glass door opens and quickly shuts once again. Kyle freezes, knuckles creaking with strain as he grips the flimsy railing keeping him from turning into red paste on the pavement countless stories down. He’s hidden behind the brick corner of the building, trying to stay out of view, but he can feel that it’s you. You’re tugging on that string wrapped around your finger, and following the line until you find him.

“Was hoping you’d show up,” you admit, chipper. Your elbow brushes against his as you settle against the railing next to him, and Kyle can feel the embers you leave in your wake, charring his skin. “I know these functions aren’t really your type of thing.”

Kyle huffs something sour, something more abrasive than intended, and his head hangs low as he stares at his feet.

“Yeah, gettin’ a bit crowded in there,” he concurs.

Talking to you has never been so difficult before, but now Kyle can’t even bring himself to look at you. His own feelings and thoughts keep choking him, and he regrets not running away when he still had the chance. It’s all so stale and robotic, and he can feel the tension twisting up his spine, clenching his jaw and settling as a deep ache in the back of his neck.

“I, uh, wanted to apologize properly for the other night, and thank you, by the way,” you continue. His aloofness is obvious. It permeates through his pores and soaks into the exposed skin of your arm, dripping down your dress until it stains your legs. “I’m still really embarrassed about all of it. I don’t normally drink that much.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it,” Kyle says in an attempt to assure you. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

The air shifts, and Kyle realizes he’s fucked up.

He finally looks at you and finds your brows knitted close together. There’s a slight tilt in your head, a flicker of your eyes, an attempt to recall a memory that’s not quite there. His stomach drops when you open your mouth and he realizes that you don’t remember that night at all.

“Didn’t mean what?” you question.

It’s too late to turn back; he’s got one foot in the grave already. His lips press together and he swallows down the stale aftertaste of liquor as he shakes his head.

“You didn’t mean it when you said you loved me,” he clarifies.

Kyle doesn’t know what he expects from you. A real confession? You to backpedal? For you to call him crazy? What he doesn’t realize is that while he’s spent months learning you, months tracing your body with his fingertips and pressing kisses against your skin, or getting lost in the scent of you, you’ve been learning him, too. You’ve learned that he likes it when you kiss his stomach, and that he hates accidentally bruising you. You’ve learned that his eyes always dilate when they land on you, clothed or not, and his fingers twitch when he smiles, like they’re missing the warmth of something. Most importantly, you’ve learned that his jaw only flexes like this when he’s angry.

“Kyle,” you say cautiously, “are you mad at me?”

Confusion clouds his eyes and he tries his best to blink it away. “I’m not mad.”

“But you are,” you insist.

“Why would I be mad?” he defends as he pushes himself away from the railing. “If you didn’t mean it, then you didn’t mean it.”

You turn and follow him as he backs away from you. There’s an odd twist in his feet as he points his toes away from you, as if he’s trying to flee. Your arms cross over your chest, and while Kyle would usually ogle at the way your tits press together with the motion, all he can do is stand there and wait for the retort he can see brewing in your eyes.

“Who said I didn’t mean it?” you challenge.

“Dunno, you hardly seem to remember it, anyway.” Kyle says with a shrug. Then he pauses. “Did you mean it when you said it to Simon on set today?”

The shiny lip gloss coating your lips forces them to pop when you open your mouth to retort, yet the only thing you can manage is a laugh in disbelief. It’s such a sour laugh that it burns your throat on the way out, and you have to look away from Kyle to keep yourself from spouting a snarky comment you’re sure you’ll regret.

“You’re unbelievable,” you say as you roll your eyes.

“Am I?” he disputes.

“Are you seriously holding something I said on set against me? Are you really gonna be upset with me over that?”

“I’m not upset with you,” he retorts.

“But you are!”

An exacerbated sigh exhales between Kyle’s lips as he brings a hand up to his face. Long fingers rub at the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. His teeth haven’t stopped grinding throughout this entire exchange.

“This was a mistake,” he mutters.

It’s a swift movement that he makes to turn around, nearly spinning like a top on his heels, but you don’t let him get away that easily. Sharp, unforgiving brick scrapes against your elbow as you reach out for him, and the tips of your fingers get caught in the unbuttoned collar of his dress shirt. Kyle doesn’t fight against you as he turns back to face you with a huff. His fingers wrap around your wrist as he attempts to gently pry you off of him.

“You’re an idiot,” you say with narrowed eyes.

“Oh, so I’m an idiot now? I thought I was unbelievable?” he asks with a raised brow, razor sharp attitude, and steam pouring from his ears.

Heat radiates off of his body so feverishly that it doesn’t feel real. The way his breath fans across your face has your knees feeling weak, and despite the pent up rage that’s locked inside of him, he still looks at you with as much love as he always has. It’s infuriating how, despite it all, he’s still been the kindest person you’ve ever met.

“You are. Because if you’ve got the ears to hear me tell Simon that I loved him on set today, then you certainly must have heard it when I accidentally called him by your name, too,” you seethe.

For a moment, all either of you can do is breathe. Air comes hot and heavy and they dance in the small, empty space between you and Kyle. He doesn’t speak, and neither do you, but the grip he has on your wrist starts to loosen. Desperate eyes scan his face, searching for something — anything — and yet there’s nothing new that there wasn’t there before. Still, he is silent.

“Don’t you… don’t you get what I’m trying to say here?” you ask. Any frustration in your voice has vanished. Replaced instead with a tone that cracks as the fabric of his shirt slips between your fingers. “Kyle, I-”

Soft lips clash with yours, silencing the rest of your speech just as the exposed skin of your back meets the cool, rough surface of the brick wall behind you. Your wrist is still in Kyle’s hand, and he holds it close to his chest as he pins you with the rest of his body, holding you still so he can devour you properly. You don’t fight against it, in fact you do quite the opposite. Your free hand snakes around his neck and glides up the back of his head, and your mouth moves in sync with his. Salt and liquor melts on your tongue, and while the tension in your shoulders dissolves, a heedy want ignites in your stomach.

Kyle only pulls away when you’re both panting between bites, but he doesn’t move far. His forehead rests against yours as his hands make a home in the curves of your hips. The sequins on your dress are abrasive and annoying, getting caught in the buttons of his shirt, but he doesn’t mind getting tangled in you.

“Come home with me,” he whispers. His thumbs ghost the hem of your dress, and you can feel the way he wants to hike it up. There’s very little stopping him from throwing your leg over his waist and fucking you there on the terrace, and you know there would be very little protest from you if he did. “Please, doll.”

“Okay.” It takes very little for you to give in. Hardly any effort at all. “Take me home, Kyle.”

His lips crash against yours in another kiss before he’s pulling you away from the wall and around the corner. It’s then that you realize, you think you’d follow Kyle Garrick anywhere. So you do. You follow him back into the penthouse, through the crowd of co-workers, all the way until you reach the elevator. It’s childish the way you two grin and giggle to each other, sneaking off like young fools in love. Maybe it’s because you are.

By the time the elevator doors close, you forget all about that stupid party. All you can focus on is Kyle’s hands on your hips and the look in his eyes. You can tell from his dilated pupils that he’s going to have fun making a mess out of you now that he’s finally going to get you all to himself.

#gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #pornstar!gaz #f!reader

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