#stupid jokes by alan

[bitegore]

discord shenanigans

#alan wake #ahti the janitor #this isnt even my idea im just good at editing things and love stupid jokes

[nightdrawz]

Ok but what if….

(Bad Rushed doodle)

Stupid idea i had xD

Ik ik it would’ve been better if red was sayori but i couldn’t give up with the idea of him being monika plus green was more tsc childhood friend sooo

Also yellow and blue??!?!? (Guys natsuri is real)

#guys hear me out #THIS IS A STUPID JOKE #i love ddlc with all of my heart #such a good game #literally my childhood #let me have fun #alan becker #animation vs animator #animation vs minecraft #artists on tumblr #art #my art #nightdrawz #doki doki literature club #ddlc

[reobsessed]

Hey look everyone it's Alan Wake's evil twin, Alvin Woke!

#this is such a stupid inside joke #alan wake #alan wake’s american nightmare #alan wake memes #Mr Scratch #Mr. Scratch

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

The world is so fucking lucky Im not actually that interested in personally writing about superheroes because if I made a independent superhero thing I would have such a shitty juvenile batman expy

#I'd go classic like adult swim cartoon making fun of superheroes. Like 'backyard graveyard for all the dead not-robins' levels here #'scene where he beats up a teenager for loitering' type shit #I would make Alan Moore look nice #'venture bros already did a episode of that' WELL THE VENTURE EPISODE DID THE STUPID JOKE. #I'D AVOID THE STUPID JOKE.

[scpwiki-official]

actually thinking about alanfrancis 

#they are both so tired and over worked alan makes a really stupid joke and francis laughs and alan just falls hard #they are so silly #alan hates himself for being cringe and francis knows their cringe and enjoys it

[nitewrighter]

I've been wading through Alan Moore's writing for several months now, and I think what's really striking me about it is, like, it's had this reputation for like... bringing grimdarkness to comics between Swamp Thing and The Killing Joke, but--and this may just be an overexposure to Moore talking--while a lot of the storytelling events and elements are dark, I don't think Moore is writing from a place of contempt for humanity, or even a place from darkness itself, really. That is to say, he's not in the Snyder "You're stupid if you think Batman doesn't kill people" boat.

The theme that comes up for me again and again across all of Moore's work for DC is this theme of human frailty. Like, it's not even from this angle of "this is how this would go realistically" which a lot of edgy comic fanboys claim, it's more of an awareness of human pain and vulnerability and stupidity and selfishness even within the framework of costumey comic book logic. I do think he was able to take that to its own distinctive level in Watchmen, because he was able to create this self-contained story that still covered a pretty expansive timeline of multiple generations of superheroes, and in doing so, was able to tell a superhero story where we actually see characters age--but in terms of the work he was putting out with DC, you do have this definite horror at what humans are capable of, and wrenching discomfort at seeing beloved characters at their lowest points... but the narrative angle itself isn't actually that cynical. You know what I mean?

#i just finished the Killing Joke and there is SO MUCH to unpack #dc #alan moore

[mikuni14]

I wanted to reply to this post by @italianpersonwithashippersheart and it turned out to be a very long text, so I'm posting it separately 😉

I have a tactic of reading posts on Tumblr, that as soon as I start reading and see that the author is going in a direction that I know I won't like, I immediately stop and move on (ALTHOUGH sometimes the author writes something I don't agree with in such an engaging way that I read it to the end for intellectual pleasure, or it's someone I like with whom I disagree just this time, but I read it anyway because, after all, I like that person for a reason 😚). That's why, fortunately, I usually (<- key word, usually) avoid fandom wars and problematic fandom behavior. I do this because I know how irritating fandom can be sometimes, especially when a it goes to war to defend its blorbo, or ship, or the entire series. And I regret to say that defenders are the most aggressive... Personally, I don't mind fans living on ships, their blorbo, squealing about them and so on. (I mean, I do that!) Unfortunately, as I'm sure you all know, so many fans who live it, LIVE IT and it's not just fun for them, it's the meaning of their lives. This is where the attacks on actors come from, like the recent attack on Nut, a homewrecker 😆 in Pit Babe, having the audacity to be friends with the actor playing Alan AND HE BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE!, or, as in the case of DFF, tearing Ta into two parts by his ukes two fandoms lmao. Unfortunately, such behavior poisons a positive fandom experience and even I can see it, even though I try very hard NOT to see it.

It also seems to me that DFF viewers could be divided into two distinct groups: DFF fans and BL fans 😉 I'm a DFF fan and that's why I'm interested in meta, theories and Tan. I like PheeJin for their dynamic, but, I don't really care if they end the series as a couple. Besides, for me DFF is a mystery/thriller/slasher/social commentary series with BL elements, in which I DON'T HAVE to have a happy ending for BL relationships to be happy, I only want Tan to be happy. However, someone for whom DFF is only a BL series could be frustrated because 1) there is no monogamy 😬 2) there is "cheating" 3) the characters behave unpleasantly 4) the characters behave in ambiguous ways and it's often not clear what they think and whom they truly love 5) the characters behaviour becomes unpredictable and non-standard and often problematic 6) the plot keeps getting weird, instructions unclear 7) what about my ship?? *panic*

Regarding the concerns about the ending of the series: in any other series I would have EXACTLY THE SAME worries. But I look at DFF in two categories:

as a slasher

as a story about life, without a moral lesson

This makes me NOT worry about the ending because:

if you look at it as a slasher and my favorite film of this type, i.e. Scream and to some extent also Final Destination, there is no moralizing here, because the victims are often innocent and still die, because this is the rule of this genre: people die in masses

if we do NOT look at it as a story with a moral lesson, we also get rid of the compulsion to judge, like, did they deserve or not to die?

I know that in the DFF fandom we often joke, more or less seriously, that we would like this one or that one to die, or for everyone to die, but this is completely normal behavior when consuming media in which someone gets hurt. In the case of DFF, emotions are high because we naturally stand on the side of someone who is bullied and we see how others, through their actions or omissions, or often making stupid mistakes, saying cruel words in anger, contributed to the great tragedy of the entire family. But what I noticed is that the series does not actually moralize. It emphasizes very clearly that Non is a victim, but he is not entirely innocent and has made many stupid decisions himself, having had other choices, while also showing why he makes such choices. It shows Por as a complete asshole, while showing his environment and expectations towards him, but it does not absolve him. It even shows Keng not as a typical sweaty, brutal pedo, but someone who is genuinely concerned about Non, AT THE SAME TIME showing the issue of his pressure on Non, the money, the grooming.

The series presents dry facts, shows characters from different sides, in different situations, it also shows how events move from point A to B and further along the letters of the alphabet :) all the time discovering new facts that explain more and more, sometimes posing a seemingly already explained situation in a completely new perspective.

Personally, I don't get the impression that the series even WANTS us to moralize in our high glass tower, because the series clearly shows that the innocent, defenseless and vulnerable suffer and no one helps them. That a stupid event can lead to tragedy with the butterfly effect. That sometimes things happen beyond our knowledge, that we are just a pawn in someone else's game and, despite our sincere intentions, we cannot stop the course of events. And that the poor have a hard time and lose entire families and their future, with the first fatality in the series being the only son and the future of the richest family.

Therefore, I am 99% sure that:

we do not know all the facts that can turn all our predictions, judgments and faith in what is happening on the screen 180 degrees

whatever happens to Tan, Phee and Jin, I doubt it will be presented as a punishment/reward for anything

Tan can kill them all and not be the winner, Phee can kill Tan and live with it for the rest of his life as a loser

there is no way for the series to end sensibly AND with "the victory of good over evil" and"justice", because evil has been winning all the time and every kick to Non's face, the death of his parents, Tan's "madness", the death of two young people, the trauma of the others were proof of that, also all the lives lost and their future in which change for good is possible

At the moment, I have nothing to complain about the 10 episodes so far, for me the series is run logically, and any question marks that appear in my head, I am calmly waiting for their answers in the next episodes. THERE IS HOWEVER ONE THING THAT WILL ANGRY ME ABOUT THE ENDING: IF THE SERIES MAKES TAN A CONVERTED SINNER WHO CHOOSES LOVE, PEACE AND FORGIVENESS AT THE LAST MOMENT 🤮 I don't even want to think about it. This is the worst thing that can happen.

Despite everything, I still believe that the series will not do something so stupid at the end, that from a painfully realistic story about life with hints of a thriller and a slasher, it will turn into a fairy tale with a moral lesson, in which good (the established social order) will be rewarded and evil (anarchy represented by Tan) will be punished.

I have my dream ending, but whatever, it's my fantasy 😍 But at least 3 BL series from recent weeks ended exactly NOT the way I wanted, so I'm resigned to the fact that DFF may also fail in this matter 🤡

tl;dr everything will be fine, and if it's not fine, we have a great team to sit together and bitch together 🥳

@italianpersonwithashippersheart I fucking love rant posts 😤😤 I LOVED YOURS 💖💖💖

#dead friend forever #thai bl #bl drama

[vanderspeiglemd]

I post a lot about the ship but that's not even the worst thing that's not the thing that the show completely pissed on and hurt a lot of its viewers doing.

It's the ableism. It's Harry being turned into this antiquated disabled caricature solely to be laughed at. They know he's seen as autistic/nd. They all know, Alan especially knows and he has a large part in what Harry does says and is presented as given how much of Harry is improv.

Calling someone with Harry's traits a child just spits in the face of every real disabled/nd/autistic/etc person with said traits. Being so cruel to him for said traits is even worse. Watching the second half of s2 felt like a hatecrime and s3 is just a true blue sitcom out of the 80s. The act of making Harry like this in the first place for a joke is hurtful and so is the way he's treated in the show. The more disabled he became, the worse he was treated. Hitting him, calling him names/an animal, making fun of his voice/mannerisms/language, Asta's endless exhaustion rolling her eyes sighing on top of calling him a child when he does anything or tries to communicate, while she's supposed to be his friend. You're supposed to laugh at and think whatever he does is stupid, weird, wrong. If someone called him the r slur I'd be like yep that tracks for this show.

Season one made me feel seen, no one treated Harry like shit and if anyone was mean Asta would step in, people wouldn't make a huge deal out of his awkwardness it was just accepted, the humor of his failings felt like the writing was laughing with him instead of at him, we were meant to feel sympathy and closeness and believe in his better nature. There was SUCH a focus on being an outsider and feeling of not belonging, how that wasn't a bad thing and there were people who would accept you. The whole bond between him and Asta was about outsiders finding one another in a world that was cruel, but in Patience Harry could see the best in humanity and maybe not feel so alone. Breaks my absolute fucking heart that it's all gone, that people in the real world making this show said nope ableism and cruelty for our sitcom!

#resident alien #fuck you and your lowest ratings

[anakin-pilled]

ATWOW CHARACTERS AND WHETHER THEY WOULD BUY TICKETS TO BARBIE, OPPENHEIMER, OR BOTH

I was about to go to sleep last night but then this idea popped in my head so I had to write it in honor of Barbenheimer week 🫡🫡 if you see typos no you didn’t..

Barbie:

Tuk: Pretty self explanatory. She begged for weeks to watch it.

Rotxo: Was the second most excited to watch after Tuk. Didn’t want to third wheel Tsireya and Lo’ak so he made a bet with Ao’nung and won. He has major Alan energy.

Neteyam: Lowkey wanted to watch Oppenheimer with his parents instead. He offered to take Tuk because he loves his little sister. Ended up enjoying the movie a lot!

Tsireya: She’s literally a doll. This Barbie is a mermaid!

Spider: Bought tickets to Barbie because he wanted to sit next to Kiri and do the classic “yawn and move arm over shoulders move.” Depressed when he saw Kiri didn’t go and ended up sulking the entire time.

Oppenheimer:

Neytiri: Was dragged by Jake. Jumped at the chance to have Neteyam take Tuk because she didn’t feel like watching Barbie. What? It was date night! Didn’t enjoy the movie…it was too slow and dark. Why would you want to create something so dangerous? Jake lost his date night planning privileges for a month.

Tonowari: Jake hyped it up to Tonowari and suggested him and Ronal watch it for their date night. He didn’t enjoy it either.

Quaritch: Pretty self explanatory. Saw Jake was sitting in the seat front of him so used it an opportunity to annoyingly kick the back of Jake’s seat.

Both:

Jake: He was in the Marines; nerdy war history excites him. Convinced Neytiri to go for date night. Definitely went to watch Barbie alone because he’s a fan of Ryan Gosling.

Lo’ak: Only because he promised Tsireya he would watch Barbie with her. Convinced he has Kenergy and spends the rest of the evening annoying Tsireya with corny jokes. Bought Oppenheimer tickets because he didn’t want Ao’nung to make fun of him. Accidentally touched hands with Ao’nung while reaching for more popcorn

Ao’nung: Lost a stupid bet and had to go with Rotxo; he didn’t want to admit it, but Ao’nung was excited to watch Barbie. Bought Oppenheimer tickets because he didn’t want Lo’ak to make fun of him. Had no idea what was going on the entire time while watching Oppenheimer.

Bonus Category: Neither

Kiri: She forgot she made plans to help Mo’at run some errands. Felt bad for Spider and asked him to hang out one on one another time.

Ronal: Way too damn pregnant to sit in a movie theater for three hours. Eywa may have blessed her with another child, but she did not bless her bladder’s strength. She would have had to use the bathroom every 10 minutes. Asked Tonowari to bring back movie theater popcorn with extra butter because she was craving it.

#kendra's thoughts (^_<)〜☆ #just realized a day later i put navy instead of the marines oops #atwow #avatar 2009 #avatar the way of water #avatar #a:twow #avatar james cameron #avatar memes #avatar headcanons #jake sully #neteyam atwow #goddamn so many tags #neytiri #tuk sully #kiri sully #tonowari #ronal avatar #spider socorro #aonung #tsireya #rotxo #jake sully headcanon #neteyam headcanons #colonel quaritch #miles quaritch #loak headcanons #barbenheimer

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

Guess what? It’s Vanellope’s turn

So, one of the chief complaints that gets tossed around about RBTI is how Vanellope “went Turbo” by abandoning Sugar Rush for Slaughter Race. And while I get some of the criticism, I have to push back on some points.

Folks say that gamers will notice Vanellope’s absence & get the game unplugged for good. First, she’s been missing for at least a decade and no one noticed. Second, her outfit & kart don’t match ANY of her pictures on the game console and no one cared. Third, KING CANDY’S gone and his death didn’t lead to the game being unplugged. That’s the power of the Random Racer Roster - no one notices if an old character disappears or if a new character is added. They think it’s just chance.

Turbo forced himself into Roadblasters & Sugar Rush, completely hijacking the latter’s programming to make himself the guy in charge. Vanellope was INVITED to stay in Slaughter Race.

While the movie clearly meant to make it a stupid joke about “Oh, those Disney princesses, always wanting Something More,” we can’t forget that Vanellope was abused, ostracized, and mistreated during her Glitch decade. If Wreck-it Ralph was a standalone movie, it’d be ok if she took charge in the end but became a benevolent ruler so no one would experience the pain she had to suffer because the movie was 90 minutes long & folks needed to get home for work the next day. But with a sequel, it’s not out of the question for Vanellope to need some time & space away from Sugar Rush to figure things out. MAYBE she’ll come back someday, MAYBE she’ll stay in Slaughter Race forever, but she deserves a break.

So, no, I don’t have a problem with Vanellope wanting to expand her horizons and try some new things.

IN THEORY.

In RBTI, however, the execution was incredibly flawed. The press leading up to this movie said the story was meant to be akin to friends going their separate ways for school, one friend being ready to move on while the other stayed behind. But the film made it feel like Vanellope was trading up, not moving forward. The whole thing went out of its way to make Ralph the worst possible choice for Vanellope, replacing him in her life with Shank.

And I’m not hating on Shank. She was clearly made to capitalize on Gal Gadot while Gal Gadot was a marketable star, and the character doesn’t do anything to try to one-up Ralph in the Surrogate Parent department. It’s all the narrative’s doing.

Oh, Vanellope said “Cool” to Ralph living in the garbage once and Ralph kind of trauma-dumped about how living in the garbage sucks ass? Well, Shank & her friends live in a super-cool dystopian dumpster fire & they think it’s AWESOME!

What’s that? Ralph & Vanellope spent a long time baking her first kart, which didn’t look anything like the perfect sample kart but Vanellope loved anyway because it was HERS & her love for her imperfect kart gave Ralph a sense of pride for doing something right for the first time in his life as well as recognition that perfection is overrated? Then the two bonded more as Ralph helped Vanellope learn how to drive & unlocked her dormant driving skills? Well, Shank just GAVE Vanellope her own race car during an Alan Menken musical number & they flew through the sky, so same thing really.

And again, Ralph’s character was COMPLETELY ASSASSINATED to make him look worse compared to Shank! They went back to his stupid beta version from the deleted scenes that was super whiny, kind of gross, and impressively stupid so Shank would look smarter, sleeker, and more put-together. They made him throw a temper tantrum outside of eBay when he didn’t understand the rules of bidding & blubber like a baby when he got caught trying to steal Shank’s car so Shank would be the more emotionally stable one. HE PURPOSEFULLY CRASHED SLAUGHTER RACE & ALMOST KILLED VANELLOPE so no one would want to see her stick with his clingy, insecure ass.

And this “Vanellope traded up” vibe continues in other media. Like the “Sugar Rush Racers” books I mentioned before. Vanellope spends MAYBE five off-page minutes with Ralph before he takes a nap & the other Sugar Rush Racers ask Vanellope if they can join her in Slaughter Race for a bit. Then during the story, Vanellope’s always referencing either the Disney Princesses (which she apparently does a LOT according to the other Racers’ reactions) or her new life with the Slaughter Race characters. There’s ONE mention of that time Ralph was WILLING TO DIE TO SAVE HER LIFE, but that’s it. No mention of making her kart together, no talk of their heart-to-heart in Diet Cola Mountain, no acknowledgement of the training montage or the time he trashed her kart because he thought he was saving her life, then his going back later to apologize & really help her get her life back by winning the race. Nothing. Almost like their adventures together meant nothing. And there’s no mention of OTHER adventures they might’ve shared between movies, despite the Sugar Rush Racers casually mentioning the time King Candy banished two of the recolor racers (which opens a WHOLE can of worms about why he didn’t just do that with Vanellope, or kill her outside Sugar Rush before trying to delete her code & reprogram himself into the game, but whatever). And at the end of the second book, when the Racers are told they can go back to the arcade, Vanellope says she wants to spend “a hot minute” with Ralph before going back to Shank & her crew in Slaughter Race. Implying they’re her REAL family.

WHAT

THE

ACTUAL

FUCKITY

FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I truly believe if the authors of the books COULD have left even the mention of Ralph out, they would’ve. He has been thoroughly Scrappy Doo’d by Disney, and it fucking HURTS!!!! HE’S THE REASON VANELLOPE EXISTS!!!!!!! AND THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!

And still, I need to know why? Why does Disney hate him? Why does Disney want US to hate him? WHY are they trying to bury him?!!!?! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED DURING PRODUCTION OF THIS STUPID CURSED SEQUEL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

#disney #wreck it Ralph #wir #ralph breaks the internet #rbti #vanellope von schweetz #I’m still not over this #excuse me while I scream into the void for another month #why won’t this stupid IP leave me alone? #why can’t I move on to my new hyperfixations in peace?

[yan-sideblog]

Yanderes reacting to Y/N doing the ahegao face as a joke...... Thank you very much...

Short ones cause, yeah these boys be horny 🤣.

Jack

A little confused at first but it doesn't take much for him to realize the context.

He can't resist playfully teasing them about it.

"So where exactly did you learn about that expression sunshine?".

Wants to know first hand EXACTLY what it would take for them to male that expression for real.

Alan

Ren

He's not sure what they're doing at first, again man has lived in the woods the past 7 years.

Once they explain it though he's thinks it's kinda funny.

Interested in seeing if they'd actually make that face.

"Careful there doe eyes. You might just start giving me ideas.".

Peter

Knows what they're doing right off the bat and boy is FLUSTERED.

"Angel? Do you realize what face you're making right now?".

In his head he's mapping out the closest semi private area to drag them to.

100% tries to see if he can get them to make that face for real 😘.

Takes him a minute to realize the joke they're making.

Is equal parts amused and turned on cause he's a horny lil shit.

Y/N is definitely getting fucked stupid later, though that was the plan anyway.

"You trying to give me ideas darling? Cause it's working.".

#jack #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack #alan #my dear hatchet man #ren #14 days with you #peter #your boyfriend game #swwsdj #sdj #mdhm #14dwy #ybf #sdj headcanons #mdhm headcanons #14dwy headcanons #ybf headcanons #anonymous #yan-sideblog

[gunsatthaphan]

First of all I just hope you are having a fantastic day :) Happy New Year my favorite tumblr-er.

Now, coming to my ask, I find it a little silly that people actually ship AlanGaipa when they had exactly 3 scenes 😆 and two of them were business like! JimGaipa and AlanWen had much more storyline and honestly shipping them (even as doomed or one sided pair) makes sense, but no, a significant number of people actually ship AlanGaipa and consider them a proper couple when they are anything but. Honestly, branding pair makes people go stupid. Sending you the ask cause I saw you saying something similar/having similar view. 😇

happy new year to you too anon!

AlanGaipa had 3 scenes but have you seen those 3 scenes lmao like I know I'm slightly biased but those moments were so packed with non-verbal emotions like oof I could write a thesis on those 3 scenes lmao.

I was laughing at ppl shipping them before they even interacted but joke's on me bc I squealed when it actually happened lol. they really made the absolute most out of their limited screentime. And it's not like the canonization was in ppl's heads bc they actually implied it. obviously JimGaipa & AlanWen had more substance in their stories but considering what Alan and Gaipa went through respectively in those arcs, them finding each other in such an innocent and subtle way was one of my favorite parts of the show tbh 🥺

xxx

#moonlight chicken #alangaipa #gmmtv #firstkhao #if you put FK in show you get nothing short of the Best and thats that #no matter if its 3 minutes of screentime and 5 lines #periodt. #i love them 😩 #you referring to me thinking it was silly to ship them is probably about what i said before they interacted lol #bc i thought it was a reach #but that changed quickly lmao

[a-s-levynn]

Oooh yiss more music tag games!! Thank you for the tag @sleebyvessel and @reveries-of-my-mind 💖

Ten songs I’ve enjoyed recently:

I'm tagging but as always no pressure feel free to skip: @moonchild-in-blue @thejawsoffate @takemetoasgard @tonguetyd @madsthenightowl @fivewholeminutes @foundationsofdecay @the--vessel @leonsleftbicep @polteergeistt i know i know.. i never remember who to tag, i'm sorry if i tagged you before and now i forgot i still love you i'm just stupid

Also pleasepleaseplease do consider yourself tagged by me without hesitation! I love these music based games because i frequently find cool new stuff i had never even heard of before.

Also putting it under the cut, because i'm gonna talk a bit about some of them as well not just list them

The links go to spotify The entire list could be Sleep Token but i'm forgoing it because i listen to different stuff besides it a lot, so have some cherry picked form my recent on repeat stuff:

XII: Frälsare by Dygn (But i can honestly recommend the album in it's entirety. It is instrumental. I'd say some sort of experimental atmospheric tech metal sort of whatever with heavier and ambient parts following one and other but it is so so so good. I only found it a month or so back i think but i'm hooked.)

Shanghai by Darko US (Look i love ridiculously heavy and stupid stuff and Darko is exactly that. DISCLAIMER: If you ever check this out on YT the video's trigger warning on the imagery in the beginning is not a joke, take it seriously)

An Awakening of Revenants by A Black Rose Burial (An oldie but a goodie and i'll die on that hill. A friend of mine showed me way back when we were kids and we listened the shit out of it. I'm definitely on a nostalgia train with this)

Seeing Red by Architects (This kinda speaks for itself. I love metal core, always has always will)

Higher by Sleep Token (I listen to this song a stupid amount there is no two ways about that.)

Herald of Darkness by Old Gods of Asgard from Alan Wake II (I love my finnish sadboys -i know they are pushing or already over 50 what of it- in Poets of the Fall a lot no matter what they do. And if what they do is a poprock musical song in yet another great game i'm not gonna complain. And to be fair the tamber of Marko's voice is very dear to my heart.)

Break Shins to This by Rabbit Junk (I don't have an answer for this. I love weird stuff and Rabbit Junk's industrial tech post hardcore metal pop drum&bass whatever the fuck is their blend is just so fucking good)

Light Up the Sky by The Prodigy (Prodigy is so good when you have to do stuff. No matter what.)

Inhumane by Polaris (I don't really have much input here, besides i like heavy music and i just love the entirety of Fatalism)

parasite by thrown (Same, i like heavy music)

#tag game #tagging game

[weclassybouquetfun]

I'm seeing all of these headlines from critics about how ridiculous FAST X as if they are just learning what the Fast and Furious films are. They are ridiculous. And? So? Your point being? Are you going to write that Looney Toons cartoons are silly?

22 years, 10 films, countless implausible moments.

You're going to say the franchise is stupid because you have people driving through skyscrapers or parachuting with cars or even surfing on a car but you say nothing about how we're supposed to believe Paul Walker as an LAPD cop when no LAPD cop in the history of the force has ever looked like that?!

This is the real stretch of imagination.

FAST X. The X stands for X-TREME SPOILERS

THE GOOD -I like a bit of fan service and the franchise keeps doling out heaping helpings of it. We got Letty back, Han back, Owen Shaw, Deckard Shaw, Elena back (briefly), whoever the hell Lucas Black and Bow Wow played in TOKYO DRIFT, Hobbs back and now the gal - Gisele.

Their babies are no longer babies.

At this pace I can't even feel bad that John Cena's Jakob died because we didn't see his body. For all we know he could have jumped out the car when it exploded! We see Han's body and he still returned from the dead so...I'm just saying don't count your dead characters before they hatch.

-I loved that they tied this story into Fast Five because that film was my entry into the Fast and Furious films so I remember that one distinctly enough that I could appreciate how they re-did scenes to add the idea that Dante was in their orbit then.

-Following THE SUICIDE SQUAD's lead and relegating Scott Eastwood to bit player. This feels like they were just trying to help him retain his SAG-AFTRA health insurance.

-The twist with Alan Ritchson's character. They intro him giving a wall of exposition about how the "cult with cars" win everyone over and then we see him won over and I think, "Exactly. As it should be." But no! Mans was luring Dom into a false sense of security. Dom was probably too blinded by that tan Ritchson was sporting for some reason.

-Paul Walker's daughter Meadow having a small role. Wouldn't be la familia without her.

-Jason Momoa was having so much fun and he certainly made for an entertaining villain. I'm all in for a villain who wears nail polish and space buns. And I liked how they actually used his photos from his BAYWATCH: HAWAII and STARGATE ATLANTIS years instead of photoshopping it.

THE BAD -Momoa IMO didn't find a good balance between unhinged lunacy and camp. I wish he was able to blend the menacing aspects of the character into his character when he was being more flamboyant. I think an actor who pulled that balance off perfectly was Chris Pine in SMOKIN' ACES.

-I can turn my brain off, I want to be entertained. If I wanted to logic police these films I'd just tweet Neil DeGrasse Tyson and ask his opinion. That said, bad writing is bad writing and this film had some awful writing. The script was written by Justin Lin, Dan Mazeau (Wrath of Titans) and Zach Dean (The Tomorrow War). I like to think Justin Lin knew some parts of the script was absolute dog piss and quit because he didn't want to have to massage a performance out of his actors using those words.

Justin Lin when handing in the final draft to Universal.

-The CGI was so bad! Regressively so. It was like they were using 2001 technology in some of the big scenes.

THE REST A cliffhanger? Editors exist for a reason. You're telling me I am going to have to sit through another 2 hours watching Letty, Cipher and Gisele on their sub adventure through Antarctica, Deckard saving his mum, Dante acting like he's on RuPaul's Drag Race, Roman with the weak jokes (Tyrese isn't as funny as he thinks he is), then a race to hurriedly find a way to give Brie Larson something substantive to do and because everyone comes back, we will see the return of Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) and then shoehorn back in Rita Moreno to close out the film with another speech about family?

#fast x spoilers #fast x #fast x movie #fast and furious #movies #film #vin diesel #jason momoa

[jimmyspades]

Sad Boston Legal analysis at 9 am sorry

Season 3 Alan sees Vanessa in that pretty yellow dress and he can’t stop staring, he tells her why it affects him so deeply:

When I was a sophomore in high school I attended my very first dance. There was this girl, standing across the dance floor, wearing a yellow dress. She was so beautiful. I didn't have the courage to ask her to dance, perhaps for fear of the long lonely walk back across the gym floor after being refused. I finally willed myself to go ask, and then suddenly she was gone, in a fleeting second she must have left. I began to imagine what she must have been like. Her laugh. Certainly her kiss. I still know exactly what that feels like, though l've never felt it. She's been a figment for 29 years. An imagined standard by which all other women seem to have fallen terribly short.

He said it was a sophomore dance so he was probably 14-15, which means he had already been assaulted by his neighbor (s4 ep4: “I was 14, Denny. It was statutory rape. You’re the first person I’ve ever told that to.”) but he hadn’t yet been abused by his best friend Paul’s mom Victoria (explored in The Practice s8 eps 13-15: “Victoria, I was 16. Can a boy even be capable of love? … How many teenagers had you been with?”)

So there’s teenage Alan at the dance, at a very strange, confusing time in his life—

—his parents aren’t there for him, his father doesn’t like him, his mother never hugs him, but recently other adults have started showing him affection; grown women want him and use him sexually, and he thinks he’s flattered by the attention because he’s a stupid horny teenage boy!, of course he should want this!, he’s never been touched and suddenly everyone wants to touch him, even Denny makes a joke of it decades later when Alan finally calls it rape, but he’s still just a child. He’s 14!!!! Suddenly he’s “experienced” and treated like an adult and has a reputation—

—but tonight he’s shyly leaning up against the gymnasium wall, alone, wishing he had the confidence to ask this beautiful girl in his class, his own age, to dance. She was so pretty and safe to him—making up a harmless, idealized girl who would never hurt him at a time when he was being abused and tossed around and confused beyond belief—that for the next 30 years (and beyond) Alan used the idea of her to protect himself.

The idea of her kept his standards so high he could always walk away, he never had to be hurt—because any woman who hurt him clearly wasn’t her, so of course she’d disappoint. He expected this.

Of course Tara broke up with him. Of course Sally wouldn’t stay. Of course the women who had sex with him as a teenager lost interest. Of course he and Gloria would never work out. Of course Phoebe (and several other ex gfs) came back to use him then leave again. Of course his wife died. They weren’t the girl in the yellow dress, they were always going to let him down. “I’ve never met the girl in the yellow dress.” He’s still waiting to find her.

#why the fuck would I write this. oh my gd alan #boston legal #alanalysis

[nitewrighter]

Favorite silly/joke character in comics or comics related media? Mine is Music Meister. Just a silly little guy here so they can do musical episodes.

I mean it's tough to really gauge that because like, depending on the era of comics, some campiness is played completely straight, and then of course you have characters that started out very jokey and then later on became edgy--like, Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow isn't as famous/infamous in comics as The Killing Joke but Alan Moore pulled something very similar with Mr. Mxysptlk (EVEN IN THE FRAMEWORK OF SILVER AGE SUPERMAN) that he pulled with the Joker. But while The Killing Joke was basically a deep dive into the whole "One Bad Day/Folie a Deux" aspects of the Joker, Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow took a look at Mxy and said, "Oh. Hey. This is a godlike being that doesn't perceive time or physics or morality in any way close to what we can recognize, and that can be terrifying, actually." Like it wasn't an edgy, "Oh it's stupid that Mxy basically uses cartoon physics to fuck with Superman" it was more like "...okay but what's going to happen when Mxy gets bored of just pulling silly shenanigans." So like... I feel like between the comics I've read and MAWS I'm enjoying Mxy a lot more than I used to.

Oh--also he's not that silly of a villain but I've come to have a soft spot for the Flash's Pied Piper. He started out obviously as a silly and campy villain of the week, but over time, he developed a friendship with Wally West's Flash and came out as gay in 1991, also just had a really fascinating run in Countdown and Final Crisis.

Also shout out to Tupperneep. Literally doesn't contribute that much to the plot besides being a background henchman to this Kandorian/Daxamite dude Cil Gand, but I really dig her character design.

I had these screenshots saved just because I loved her goofy little design that much but I honestly couldn't think of when to post them so thanks for sending this ask!

#dc