#straight up jorkin it

[plotsignificanthaircut555]

I found my Eva Title Card Generator tab again

#send lame more copypastas #neon genesis evangelion #Evangelion #Eva #nge #in the stripped club #straight up jorkin it #copypasta #shinji ikari #misato katsuragi #rei ayanami #asuka langley soryu #gendo ikari #end of evangelion

[nothisislyra]

.

#i think at least some. okay most. of my problem with jorkin it these days is like. idk i only know how to do it like i'm topping? #and i'm very bottom-leaning y'know #i straight up do not know how to masturbate as a bottom whatever that means

[lurk1ng-s1d]

making my friend taking ap spanish translate copypastas into spanish for me so i can send it to my friend that won’t stop texting me in spanish

#i made him my bitch /j #in the stripped club #straight up #jorkin it #and by it i mean #my peanits #digamos mi peniseria #getting on their level

[dykeotomize]

full on cohost :3

#homesmut #nsft #dykeotomization #shes straight up jorkin it. and by it i mean. well #too lazy to post on twitter also i hate twitter

[purplefoxthoughts]

Straight up "destoring it"

What is "it?"

Let's just say

Worlds

#oppenheimer #in the stripped club #straight up #jorkin it #what is it #lets just say #my peanits #i am become death #the destroyer of worlds

[draculagerard]

the "lets just say.,,, my peanits...." post has been looping itself in my brain over and over

#I CANT STOP SAYING IT #straight up jorkin it... #moose blabber

[burnedlily]

It's not letting me see notifs without making posts but I'm too horny to think of anything so hi

#im straight up JORKIN it

[stat--ic]

straight up jorkin it......

#rtvs #wayneradiotv #da stamps #stamps #CHECK OUT THEIR PALESTINE FUNDRAISER THATS HAPPENING RN ON TWITCH!!!!

[madame-mongoose]

straight up. jorkin my penits

woah dude thats crazy

#who is this guy #monnie answers

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for telling my partner they need to be better at communicating during sex?

NSFW ask, but this has been an ongoing issue for a while and I’m very frustrated

My (19M) partner (21NB) is my first true sexual partner. They’ve been with other people in the past, some good experiences but mostly bad. I on the other hand have dated before and have had pseudo-sexual relationships (just touching) but my partner is the first person I’ve properly done the horizontal tango with

That being said, with my just-touching exes, we’ve always been extremely careful about communication in the moment. My most recent ex and I had the stoplight method even when we weren’t being kinky. It was reassuring to be able to check up on her and for her to be able to do the same. Maybe we were playing is too safe, idk, but that’s what I became comfortable with during sex

With my current partner, however, this has never been the case with their exes. I think I might be the first partner they’ve had that actually took time before making any sexual advances to ask them what they like and how I can make them happy because in the moment when I did, they looked confused.

Being horny young adults, we did eventually sleep together, and during the act, I realized that neither of us had checked in on the other outside of the initial “is this okay?” when removing clothes (I was the one who asked) so I slowed my roll and asked my partner if they were with me. They were not. They sputtered and said that I brought them out of the moment, and I became really really concerned that they had been disassociating the entire time because of previous sexual trauma. I told them I wanted to stop, they did not, so I rolled off and whispered into their ear while (and I apologize for not finding a better way to describe this without being overly graphic) I was straight jorkin’ em off. They were happy, they fell asleep, and I felt awful.

About half an hour later they kicked me out because their mom was coming home from a New Years Eve party (it was my 19th birthday which also hurt), but that’s not relevant, I just need the timeline in place.

We’ve done more sexual things since then and every time I try to check on them, they get weirded out. I stopped doing it in the moment so overtly and changed tactics to asking “what can I do for you” and “what do you need baby”, and this seems to get the job done. However, afterwards when I ask actually ask them how they were feeling, they would say that “the afterglow’s ruined” (which is wild because we’ve been together for six months and I’ve never finished -> I am a pre-op transman and my partner is AMAB, aka has told me that they don’t know what to do with my parts and once joked that sex would be easier if I had a dick, for context)

The last straw was tonight (March 4th) when they came over to my place and we started making out. I wasn’t really feeling it, so I tried to back off and shift to just lazy kisses, but my partner didn’t stop so I pulled away and said: “not tonight, baby”

They said: “if you weren’t in the mood, why did you kiss me?”

I said: “because I like kissing you?”

They said: “you should have told me you didn’t want to do anything. I don’t want to get the wrong idea.”

I said: “I’m sorry, I should have. I thought I wanted to, but I changed my mind. Can we go back to watching anime?”

They said yes and we watched another episode of a show (dungeon meshi!!) before I finally asked them why they don’t check in with me the way I do with them

They said: “I don’t like talking during sex. Ruins the vibe”

I said: “Okay, so can we find a system that lets the other know how we’re feeling when we don’t want to talk? Like how I use signs when I go nonverbal?”

They said: “I don’t see the point. If you don’t want to fuck, just push me off.”

I got mad and said: “What is wrong with you? I don’t want to push you off, I want to talk about it!”

They told me I was getting worked up and left. It’s been two hours and I feel like total shit for pushing the subject when they’ve expressed that they don’t like my expectations for sex. Am I too high maintenance?

TL;DR, I annoyed my partner by asking too many times for them to talk to me during sex, they got pissed and left my house. Atia for asking too many times?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[tomssexdoll]

HAI HAI U SAID U WANTED HEADCANNONS SO I THOUFHT OF AN IDEAAAAA

silly billy headcannons abt when he’s on tour and reader isn’t w him and he’s being a little hornball and what he does like he’ll sneak into the tour bus bathroom and send reader a vid of him straight up jorkin it or begging to face time so they can both jork it together

HAHAHAHA YESSS

Horny Bill away on tour headcannons

-will facetime you every single night he's away

-if she can't call he'll save jerking videos and photos of him stroking it of him for later 😔

-SUPER WHINEY

-during the day he'll sneak off to the bathroom or say he needs to get changed and will call you

-dirty talk is AMAZINGGG

-you send him videos of you fingering yourself if you can't call him

-nut videos WITH SOUND ON.

-loves to see your tits on facetime

-will literally nut on the phone when your boobs are in frame (LMAOO)

-guides you to your orgasm

-SUPER horny texts throughout the day

-facetime sex calls before he goes on stage duh

tags: @tomscumdump @tomscumdoll @itsmealaiah @syylss @charliesgoodboy @miyukafujii @20doozers @ge-billsgf @bkaulitzlover

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitz x female reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz x y/n #billkaulitzheadcannons #headcannons #hornyposting #tokio hotel smut #bill kaulitz smut #bill #ilovebillkaulitzmymanmymanmymanmyman #i love him #i love bill kaulitz #wet and gushy

[darthcontusion]

tada randa is the funniest mahoako character because every chapter that she's in you learn a new and more distressing way in which she is fucked up, like, canonically this is someone with self esteem issues, dependency issues, boundary issues, trauma, depression, easily arguably self harm issues, and she's still probably the most baseline functional member of the whole named cast even though there are more definitive Things you can explain her behavior with beyond "Horny" than would be the case for anybody else

i think she and michiko really stand out for having a kind of pathos and depth that no one else really has, everyone else is just pinballing between weaponized horniness and weaponized shame, and here comes magical girl berserga with her tits sewn together as she and her wage slave dropout failwife navigate the torturous horrors of emotional intimacy and like momo is there too straight up jorkin it i guess because SOMEONE has to make it weird

#mahoako #mahoako spoilers #gushing over magical girls #mahou shoujo ni akogarete #randa tada

[raccoonsandrangoons]

Rick Grimes NSFW Alphabet

Just a little something I whipped up for a friend ✨💛

✨ pairing: Rick Grimes x Reader

✨ warnings: NSFW (smut)

✨ A/N: honestly for a Daryl girlie myself, it was a lot easier to write HCs for Rick 🤣

A - Aftercare

A King. He’s 100% for a cuddle. He’s like a baby; he needs skin to skin, even if it’s just holding your hand

B - Body (his favorite part)

Ass. He’s all about that ass. He’s gonna say he loves all parts of you (and it’s true), but he’s got a weakness for your ass. He can’t help but stare as you’re walking away.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum)

He knows that protection is a rare commodity in these times. If he could finish inside, best believe he’s going to, but he doesn’t not like the look of you covered in his cum.

D - Dirty Little Secret (what’s he hiding 🤭)

He doesn’t have any dirty secrets, but he does keep his feelings for you suppressed as long as possible, especially if you’re significantly younger than him

E - Experience

He’s a fairly experienced guy. Kinda. He’s not a virgin by any means, he’s got kids. But he’s only been with 2-3 people at most.

F - Favorite Position

Classic missionary bby. He wants to see your face.

G - Goofy?

He’s fairly serious, but if something funny happens, like you slip while trying to switch positions, he’ll let out a little giggle.

H - Hair

It’s the apocalypse. How do you think grooming goes? Once he’s in the Alexandria safe haven, he’ll keep himself trimmed up. As for you, he doesn’t care at all. It’s your body and it’s whatever you say.

I - Intimacy

He is very sweet and intimate. He loves showering together. It’s his favorite form of intimacy, whether it leads to sex or not. He loves when you wash his back, and he loves when washing your hair and giving you a nice scalp massage.

J - Jorkin’ It

For stress relief, and definitely before y’all get together. But once you’re together, he’d rather just go straight to you

K - Kinks

He’s a fairly vanilla guy, but he’s not opposed to spanking, roughhousing a little. Maybe you can convince him to role play a little in his uniform.

L - Location

He prefers at home. He’s not a risky man as it is and he doesn’t want to risk being caught. It’s motivated by respect for you.

M - Motivations (turn ons)

Anything you do. He throws his all into everything and he is all about you.

N - NOs

Nothing that can put you in danger. Nothing restraining for either of you

O - Oral

Giving and receiving. He loves it. He’s all for it. He always says “baby you don’t have to”, when you get on your knees but you both know he wants it and he is more than happy to reciprocate.

P — Pace

Soft, slow, and sensual. He comes from a place of love and respect, and he’s going to take his time with you.

Q — Quickies?

If he has to. In the beginning, maybe that’s all you had.

In Alexandria, if you get enough in him to drink at a party, rile him up enough, he’ll pull you into a corner for a make out session and then tell you to meet him at home in 10 minutes.

R — Risky?

Nope. He’s not risky at all. He’s pulling out. He’s making sure no one is around.

S — Stamina

He can go a few rounds, for sure. But he is climbing in age, so

T — Toys

Hard to come by in the apocalypse, but in a situation where it’s available, he sees your toys as his teammates.

U — Unfair

He can be a bit of a tease when you start developing a more domestic relationship. A slide of his hand down your back, a quick squeeze of your ass (he can’t help it).

V — Volume

He’s not super loud, but he’s vocal. A lot of “That’s it”, “feels so good”; etc.

W — Wildcard (dealer’s choice hc)

I think he’s jealous. He knows you’re a helpful person and he knows others are drawn to you. He can’t help but feel a little jealous. And boy does he love when you get jealous. He loves being able to tease you when you’re jealous.

X — X-ray

He’s packing. Nothing extraordinary, but you’ll giggle with the girls over tea, as respectfully as possible. He is shy, ya know.

Y — Yearning

He’s a yearning man. He’s not a desperate type of needy, but he will tug at your clothes as he holds you from behind and whisper “need you”

Z — ZZZ

He definitely wants to sleep after, which is why he doesn’t really like doing it anywhere but home.

#rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes smut #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #smut alphabet

[buttfrovski]

in san diegoed... straight up "jorkin it"... and by "it" haha.. well.. let's just say.. my peanits..

[bugboioli23]

I DONT KNOW WHY ME AND MY BUDDY DID THIS BUT ITS FUCKING HILARIOUS its tfp ratchet saying the whole "in the stripped club straight up jorkin it" THING I CANT BREATHE

#transformers #buggyboi nonsense #tfp ratchet #HELP ME #ai voice #sobbing

[bag-of-teeth]

“in the stript club. straight up jorkin it. and by it… haha well. let’s jusr say… the bodies of these poor bachelor party dudes limb from limb”

-Mr Bonzo, 2024

#this is the best thing i’ve ever put on the internet #tmagp 12 #the magnus protocol #tma #the magnus pod #tmagp #mr bonzo #tmagp spoilers