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“in the stript club. straight up jorkin it. and by it… haha well. let’s jusr say… the bodies of these poor bachelor party dudes limb from limb”

-Mr Bonzo, 2024

#this is the best thing i’ve ever put on the internet #tmagp 12 #the magnus protocol #tma #the magnus pod #tmagp #mr bonzo #tmagp spoilers

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rip nikola orsinov you would have loved night at the museum (2006)

#it’s so stranger coded if you think about it #tma #the magnus archives #the stranger #nikola orsinov #tma spoilers #tmagp

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i think alice dyer wholehearted believes she could take a bear in hand to hand combat

#and she’d fucking win

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i literally did not understand that sam and alice were exes until episode 10…. this whole time i have been picturing alice as a gruff late-30s butch who is the most lesbian lesbian to ever lesbian…. now i keep seeing people posting ship content for them and hoping they get back together…. i am so deeply confused

#i’ve also been picturing sam as a twink but that’s neither here nor there #tmagp #the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #tma #alice dyer #samama khalid

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on a daily basis i pick up my cat and cuddle her and say “who’s so full of microplastics” in the same tone as “who’s a good kitty”

just thought y’all should know

#for context she is a maniac who chews on plastic whenever she can so i’m not wrong #she is in fact probably full of microplasfics #we’re trying to get her to stop

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not gonna say it. but he popped into your head didn’t he

#i took this too literally #tmagp #mr bonzo #bonzo tmagp #inspired by that one tweet calling bonzo a bear #this is the worst thing i’ve ever posted #the magnus protocol

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the one with no eyes kinda gender tho

#yellowjackets #yj #yellowjackets spoilers #yj shitpost #shitpost #yellowjackets s3 #taissa turner #taivan #the one with no eyes

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guys yellowjakcets being added to netflix is a GOOD THING. i keep seeing people complaining about how it’s “not going to be niche anymore” and more people are going to watch it as if that’s bad. first off, it was never that niche to begin with. more people watching it is good because it increases the likelihood that it’ll keep getting renewed. shows like yellowjackets get canceled so often after only one or two seasons. the writers have a whole five season plan. the more people watch it, the more likely it is to continue. you can have your own opinions but personally i’d much rather have one of my interests become more mainstream than have it be canceled (and probably left with a cliffhanger and a lot of unanswered questions!)

tldr stop bitching about yj being added to netflix it’s not the end of the world and will hopefully stop it from being cancelled

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #yj #yellowjackets s2 #yellowjackets s3

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ceaseless watcher? i hardly know her!

#i stole this joke from my gf (thanks briar) #tma #the magnus archives #the beholding #ceaseless watcher #tma shitpost

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you know those lesbian breakup so bad you xxx memes? yeah, well. every yelllowjacket for real.

shauna shipman is so close to the one that inspired it all: lesbian breakup so bad you consider marrying a christian man and having two kids named brynleigh and hunter. except she’s shauna, so add some flavor and it’s: lesbian breakup (promptly followed by widowhood) so bad you cannibalize her, marry her idiot blonde man ex, have a kid, and only feel joy when you discuss murder.

van palmer, lesbian breakup so bad you move to fucking ohio.

taissa turner, lesbian breakup so bad you go into politics. (maybe your ex will even have to see you on tv, who knows!)

natalie scatorccio, lesbian breakup(s) so bad you’re not even sure who all you’ve technically broken up with, but you’re no longer phased by kidnapping, surveillance, or stalking by any of them, which says a whole lot.

lottie matthews, lesbian breakup (widowhood, rip laura lee) so bad you start a cult. followed by another lesbian breakup so bad you, uh, start another cult.

misty quigley, lesbian breakup so bad you run around with this fucking guy.

and finally, queen of bad lesbian breakups, jackie taylor, whose lesbian breakup was so bad she killed herself in a way that irrevocably altered the course of all her friends lives and potentially broke metaphysical laws of the universe!

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also. the place of javis hideout on the map is at the heart of the symbol the trees make on the map. his hideout is the heart. it’s the fucking heart.

(i did not do a great job of explaining this lol it’s in the middle of episode 8 where ben is looking at the map)

javi’s drawings are my roman empire

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javi’s drawings are my roman empire

#THERES THE DRAWING OF HIS HIDEOUT BUT THERES MORE. THERE ARE SO MANY MORE #can you tell i’m rewatching yj #no but really this shit lives rent free in my head #yellowjackets #yj #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets s2 #yellowjackets s3 #javi martinez #javi yellowjackets

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guy who makes a spreadsheet to figure out if his crush likes him back

#jonathan sims #he would do this don’t lie #the magnus archives

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the girls are fightingggggg [readjusts my glasses, squinting] by god… it appears i was mistaken. they're…my goodness…by god

#yellowjackets #specifically the lottie/shauna sven #you know the one

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if you’re gonna introduce me to something new you have to defeat my 7 evil ex hyperfixations

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ceaseless watcher… yeah i’m ceaselessly watching THAT ASS

#tma shitpost #my brain is rotting inside my skull :3 #the eye #ceaseless watcher #the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #jon sims #tma spoilers

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Paranoid? I was paranoid once. They put me in the archives. The Magnus Archives. The Magnus Archives full of statements. And statements make me paranoid. Paranoid? I was paranoid once—

#thank you op this is art