#starting to think that im actually deeply fucked up

[orangechickenpillow]

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#starting to think that im actually deeply fucked up #something is wrong with me and i dont know how to fix it #i think i need to see a therapist #tw mental illness #tw rant #sort of not really #i just feel like the world is crushing me and nothing is real 🫠

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about when guts sent a bunch of his men directly into zodd's meat grinder without even knowing demons like him existed. and that moment after the fight where casca runs to griffith unconscious on the floor and tells guts it's all his fault. and the time gambino tells him he's bad luck and should have died instead. and about how he tells griffith he cares about his men, and how casca doesn't seem to see it. and the time guts is thinking about casca telling him it's all his fault (after he got griffith hurt) and then griffith comes to him and says (like it's nothing) do i need to give a reason every time i come to save you? or whatever. like he's worth it. like he's worth dying for, and like it can be a choice people make because they value you. like he's a good luck charm, like griffith needs him to reach his goals, his full potential. like griffith is not enough to make it without him. like griffith finds out when guts leaves. fuckin.g gnawing someone else's legs off because i still need mine to run into traffic

#so guess who's rewatching berserk 1997 lol #berserk #i hate griffith i hate him i hate him he's bad i hate him (<- deeply tragically attached to him. im so not normal about him it's fucked) #aghhh can't wait until break so i can read more. i've ended up just consuming the golden age arc over and over for various reasons #and it's so good it fucking rules i just need to keep reading past that too bc that's Also good #and i have! i just have more to read oh hey it's midnight my paper's due haha #(it's fine it doesn't matter genuinely i will be fine) #anyway my older sibling's been buying those bigass tomes they sell and he got a bunch more a while back so like. more to read more to read #also side note but they smell so fucking good it's actually unfair #but anyway i keep on being like nooo i gotta go start over so i can get the momentum and then i get brainstuck/distracted and don't actuall #get very far past the lost children subarc (which i've read i think 1.5 times now) #ANYWYA. berserk good. no i don't ever make content for it but every like 4 months or so it infects me quietly

[rainbowpufflez]

Fine, I’ll admit that I like Lysandre 😔

#queue the ‘we all know Bo’ #I mean it was definitely obvious from the beginning #and I’ve somewhat said I do in a few posts #and considering the amount of times I’ve drawn him should’ve definitely given it away /lh #the funniest part about me liking him is that I actually straight up don’t #I just I think I hate him so vehemently and deeply that I’ve 180 back to liking him #LIKE WHY ARE U PREOCCUPYING MY BRAIN #LIKE GET OUT OR LIKE PAY ME U FUCKING ASSHOLE #literally I can’t stress enough how unlikable he is #and then I see him and I get locked in #I cringe literally everytime I talk to him #maybe it was cause his ass has been haunting me for the past few months #I GOT SOCIALLY CONDITIONED /hj #like he makes my blood boil sm #when I pointed out that he holds himself like he’s insecure on Pasio to my friend and they went #‘someone who doesn’t like a character wouldn’t have noticed that’ #or when they pulled the ‘true hate is indifference’ on me 😭 #I mean I have always said I have to hate a character before I start liking them #so yeah I’m still gonna be really fucking mean to Orange Peel but unfortunately it means I actually like him #the most insufferable man in all Kalos and I’m still like ‘guess I better draw him again/think about him 24/7’ #WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME #I HOPE U KNOW IM STILL KILLING HIM FOR ALL THE BS HE PULLS THO #rainbowpufflez rambles

[flovverworks]

after a billion yrs i added a lil line about my gbf verse.....<3 one day i might flesh it out to something in-universe, but since gbf is so "oh ure from another world? ya that happens..." i....am gonna keep w that..........(also cuz i do think discussing the different ways of magic, moon-enemy & this n that is more fun like this

#stardust speaking ! #i do wanna write but im unsure when ill do so #anyway i need to talk abut that one 1.5 moment with that weird car horn sfx after murrs fancy speech cuz i #was thinking about it again due to one of the descriptions in the alterego event #i still didnt check the website btw is it available info why snows adult and whites a kid or is that a waiting game cuz #that..... #sometimes when i think abuot paradoxroid i think about them. that one was fkd up #snow&white r so fascinating to me #snow & white & figaro & oz are even more fascinating #oz who only started learning abut the world because arthur asked things about the world................. #oz who made arthur pancakes................................. #they make me ill. figaro feels like he should be the most welladapted cuz in some ways he IS. guy who lies about his power and age and love #humans and that one offhand line in 2nd anni about how he has cared for kids!??!? dude i need to reread 2nd anni did that ever get brought #up again #but figaro & love is................guy who leaves when he thinks he isnt loved anymore #<-guy who was taught by snow&white who valued e/o the most #2nd anni makes me lose my mind. figaro and fausts convo. both who felt like it was the other who left LIKE FIGAROS SURPRISE WAS UNREEEAAALL #somethings deeply wrong with him i am so intrigued #i need to go reread his pt2 parts like what the actual hell dude #the mental gymnastics he does in one part is ? id like to study u and the twins under a microscope #this is all shallowly/casually speaking about it btw theres a lot of things left&right about all of these topics that makes them very yummy #i think what gets me the most about pt2 is that a lot of it is things that we alrdy knew regarding characters feelings etc. such as figaro #but seeing them say it themself makes me faint #OH MY GOOODDDDDD THE FLASHBACK CONVO WITH OZ AND FIGARO? ABOUT WOULD U SAVE THE PERSON U LOVE OR THE WORLD #AND HOW FIGARO ENDS UP FALTERING DEAR LOOOOORRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD #fucked up family (affectionate) #i need to think of modern aus again i thought about arthur calling snow & white granpa for one second and everything hrut #ok im sorry i dont know what possessed me. i promise ill be rereading stuff soon #one more thing. fausts part in pt2. god. but in this cursed world the sage trusted me...

[widevibratobitch]

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#tw ed #saw a picture of myself from when i was *checks notes* at my fucking worst with my ED but that meant i was also Thinner. #i really should Go Back huh. maybe if i did i wouldnt feel. Like This. #it'd prolly mean id start losing my hair again which. not a big fan. BUT. #if i was really dedicated i could also lose my period which. huge fan. that was one of the best things that ever happened to me tbh #i could have it all back. maybe i could even get farther than the last time. all it would take is uhh feeling utterly fucking miserable #having no energy for the most basic stuff let alone singing and thinking about nothing and i mean NOTHING but calories 24/7. #but hey. maybe i could like. lose 5 kg for my troubles and then gain back twice as much when i decide again that i just Cant Live Like This #totally worth it huh #anyway. i miss hating my body A Little Less and people being Nicer to me and everyone telling me how good of a job im doing #and encouraging me to keep going. and i miss the sense of Accomplishment and the Pride and the Not Feeling Disgusting #or at least Making Up For It by just. not eating lol #cause like its not like im actually much better mentally am i lmao clearly im not. only now im both miserable AND fat. #obviously ill never be s/kinny let alone as s/kinny as my friends. ill still look like a glitch in the system and a mistake next to them. #but if i have to be miserable anyway i could at least be. less f/at about it right. maybe then ill be worth something <3 #...and other delusions you keep cultivating because there's something deeply and inherently wrong with you #my new bestseller coming soon to your nearest bookshop dont miss it its only $free.99!

[girlcavalcanti]

mi do fuoco :D

#the day had started well!! and ive been crying all evening! bitch slay!! #I've come to tge realization that i very much do Not know how to translate greek #I've worked on this fucking translation all afternoon and yeah. didn't understand shit #and I've got a translating test on tuesday #i actually don't know how i got this far with no bad grades in greek bc i absolutely suck at it #with the realization tgat i actually very much Don't know this fucking language. came the one that I'm not gonna be able to do classic lit #in uni probably. because well. i can't do that #btw this happens to me like twice a week #so it's not just like. one translation gone wrong. i just don't know the language #the problem is that I deeply love Latin. and i wouldnt want to give it up. but obviously i will have to because. greek #and so obviously i started thinking tgat I cant do shit. which is kinda true. I should be able to do so many things better than i do #but why like i did everything right. i followed all the steps?? why am i still here. literally at the bottom step of the ladder #in so many of the things i care about #“you can't do well in everything” why tho. i literally always did everyhing i was supposed to #just. whatever i guess. #on an unrelated note if i don't get into theater this year im gonna kill myself #but whatever #sorry for the rant :/

[arsenicflame]

'im doing great!!!' <- had to read through old messages from their [????] to remind themselves that was a legitimate thing that happened and not just a delusion

#tw for tags- allusions to kidnapping and abuse and grooming and various sentiments around that. a vent. #genuinely had myself questioning if it actually occurred or if it was all in my head like the recurring kidnap Thoughts #i dont honestly remember much that occured around that time so #retraumatise urself a little to remind yourself how fucked up that was #i put ??? because i honestly. dont know what to call him. now stalker; then? abuser? groomer? #i honestly struggle w words because i struggle to give myself the grace about what happened. #but i spent some time with [removed because they could see this + Who holds no relevance] and i just. it really clicked here #what the fuck i was a child. i look at them and i see a baby and they remind me so much of myself and i was a child #and they are older than i was!! what the fuck #i struggle to give myself the grace because i know i made a lot of mistakes and i was stupid and i knew better but also what the fuck #sorry syrry. looking at them and thinking who would ever. fucked me up #and then i started questioning if it even happened or if i made it uo #and im deeply upset now rereading all of this and theres more than i remember becuase i went looking to find something with another person #acknowledging it happened and i. i dont remember it and i dont know why i did it and hes still following me and i want him to STOP #i want to feel safe again #i want my actions as a 15 y/o to not be held against me until he dies #im fucked up #but i think i needed to say these things. to put them out into the world. i feel a little better. ill probably delete this later #nyxtalks #jesus this is a swing from my last post sorry guys #ik nobody read this far but i feel the need to say it. this is not the kind of person i want to be online

[junonreactor]

every time pmoon puts out a notice i am prepared to feel deep disdain but lol. lmao. holy fuck.

#the accusation of political motivation on the user group but not the fucking incels. the conflicting statements regarding the dismissal. #the fact that they put up en/jp translations of their notice from TWO MONTHS AGO immediately afterward so it looks even more #like they're doubling down on a deeply fucked decision. the threat of legal action Again. #all that just to fail hilariously at brushing this away before tgs. incredible. kim jihoon spontaneously combust challenge #ein babbles #yes i uninstalled the game yes i do keep up with official updates because im invested in seeing where this shit #ESPECIALLY if anything actually happens in regards to like. legal ramifications on any side #they're so stupid and they think we are even stupider. incredible to watch. #HFDGJKAHFGD THEY TWEETED AGAIN. #'stop being mean to us for real we WILL sue you' yeah ok. 'we're trying to protect our employees' ok. like the translators? translator. #if they could they would have had cancel culture buzzwords everywhere in that english notice. #they reuploaded the draft letter that the union said they wouldn't be publishing. what are you Doing over there... #like. all of this and not a single word about how the tweets that started this mess were deleted and couldnt possibly be reasonably counted #against vellmori re:company policy. and no action is apparently being taken against the dcinsider losers who went to the company. #their targets for legal retaliation make it very clear what their priorities are it's so. lmao.

[kazoologist]

holding bitch sessions with my friends in this program wherein i make itemized lists of complaints about my roommate and then read them aloud like a pettier and lamer martin luther who couldn't even summon the nerve to start a fight with my roommate

#personal #i realize im being definitely unfair but also consider i have to live in this overpriced apartment with this fucking soap opera playing 25/ #also i realize it is judgemental but legitimately i think she might just. be a lot worse at everything then she thinks. and i realize i am #not great or a saint by any means either but like. i love this program and field. my fuck ups this year have totally been my own to make an #i deeply hate how bad its gotten (but im trying) #also hot take but this girl should not be trying to work in education at all. u complain about school being useless too much for me to thin #you would actually be effective #you complain about nothing interesting you for a career. girl u could just bartend for the rest of ur life. like at least bartenders tend t #get paid here #oh but youre an academic huh? oh that's wonderful. should we throw a debutante ball? should we call everyone's parents? should i email the #provost? bitch we're in the research triangle. fucking everyone's an academic. half the people i sit near at synagogue have phds. get a gri #god ive really deteriorated as a person since moving here. i hope theres time for me to have like a change of heart and become capable of #fucking love and whimsy again. like. i knew we weren't a perfect match but seriously im supposed to be this easy going and pleasant person #what is it about this woman that just causes me to act like this and start biting like a stray cat #i mean #i always kinda suspected i was a bitch but like. i dont like being this pissy all the time. i feel like im fucking sixteen again and i dont #even have anything to be mad about rn #jesus

[pepprs]

the bull smashing plates in my brain right now.

#dangerously mentally ill atm. about to snap and start screaming and crying hysterically in the middle of meetings. #purrs #it’s fine btw i just need to be honest and i need to ask for comfort and accept it. but i fucking can’t. but i need to and i have to so hel #me god except nothing is going to make up for not getting to be held at b*rth so……. lol. like you can’t just ask people for that. but it’s #the way that i need to be married so bad so i can finally be normal. im completely serious. i need to be married. being someone’s number on #will fix me. and i also need to not have k*ds i think bc mike birbiglias the new one special made me SO deeply angry and upset and i can’t #even take it. like i think maybe no one in love should have kids ever again. i truly believe that. if you can’t give a kid your deepest tru #truest love then it fucks them up for life and if you can do that then it erodes the relationship you have with your partner so. basically #wish i didn’t exist kinda. and i wish none of the good things in my life had happened to me because it gave me hope for things that can’t a #actually happen and i have just been delusional about someday being healed all this time. i will be wounded and alone forever and i want to #go lie in the trench they’re digging in the backyard about it 💃🏻🥳 #delete later #i just want to play wobboedogs on the switch and forget i am a human being. that’s all. that’s literally it #cominng back to this a couple weeks later um this was one of the most mentally ill posts i have ever made in my life. sorry 😚✌️ x

[when-did-this-become-difficult]

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#I'm at that point where I'm on my period and due to the political aspects of existing uhhhh I may be getting deeply emotional about the #1991 Colombian constitution like no im NOT going to start crying rn this is ridiculous also god bless but why does haber have so many funky #fucking conjugations i cant w this rn i just want a peaceful unemotional little translation time is that so much to ask bro wtfffffff #i was like haha im doing so well about this im actually having a lot of perspective and everything is fine. and then my fukcing period hit #the state of the union #06.29.2022 #thinking about consensus politics in a democratically elected body of government that worked together to produce a better constitution than #was before noooooo dont think about it a;dlkja;sldfs #the fucking uterus will make it hurt you for no fucking reason lmaoooo #this is probably to do with a third entirely unrelated personal issue I repressed like four years earlier that's coming back up now while i #am trying to repress new ones right? lmfao #ive accepted tumblr is my diary now btw. thank u overlords for the no rebloggin feature.

[hecksupremechips]

Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨

#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me #but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk #just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more #fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’ #and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟 #then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person #to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever #i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better #but also way worse at the same time #i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely #but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped #cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out #i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want #its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake #cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it #ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else #im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there #then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that #crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening #and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil #the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me #its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything #aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol

[capaldiera]

it's soooooo embarrassing that my mum knows i like twelveclara. and she was in the room for last christmas which is embarrassingly close to being explicitly romantic. keep that shit more unsaid please

#and also the magician's apprentice party scene which is super fun and the first time i watched it and she was there i was just openly enjoyi #ng it. well now i want to die. esp bc she probably thinks the pretty woman thing for clara. well no i equally care abt missy. #me.txt #im not used to this shit usually what happens is i care about gay pairings and either it doesnt look that gay or mum will just not react #to it bc she is homophobic and would rather not think about that #or maybe more likely knows i dont want to hear what she has to say. i do appreciate that #wait actually i think half the problem is she probably thinks i have a crush on twelve 💀💀💀😟😟😭😭 #well i do but she doesnt need to know that. prolly thinks he's not a dyke n all #also i am just currently thinking that some moments are a little Too open for my tastes. #Also i was talking to mum once about twelve's possible face blindness (and she'd seen the when do i not see you scene and when he couldnt #tell clara was like 80 or whatever #and she was like oh in the kdramas i watch they love to have the guy be faceblind but he can only recognise the girl. mum im trying to talk #about my favourite doctor who and also fucked up hetbait. not your vaguely hallmarkish romances #okay they are not like hallmark they are more creative and also better. she just says she likes them bc they're like chaste. and she started #watching them instead of hallmark shows #anyway. time to go home and watch before the flood and under the lake and she'll probably be there #the problem is that mum likes romances that are nice. and she probably thinks twelveclara is kind of nice or maybe that i think it is #mostly its slay and fucked #it should feel a little bit like being queerbaited (kind of bad but so good and like you may be insane but also you're deeply correct)

[cheonstapes]

HAPPY 1K THOUGH LET GO AHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

But request time gurl!😘😌✊, so what about a nerd!Miguel\dom x nerdygirl!reader LIKE IMAGINE THE FLUFF AND THE SMUT THERE BOTH BE A BLUSH MESS but I feel like Miguel would take the lead and show he dom when doing it like dont blame me! 😭✊ like he still nerdy Miguel we all know the sweet boy but let make the nerd that friend s with the popular group and have a girlfriend who is nerdy!reader and which is a very shy person then Miguel is.

Pls my life depends on this request gurl and I hope your having a great day though BYE STILL SO HAPPY FOR YOU EACHING 1k following

-🐈

miguel o’hara stars in… ‘OUR FIRST TIME’ (ﾟωﾟ)

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.miguel o’hara x reader.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

SMUT

you and your nerdy boyfie, miguel, have your first time together 🩷

cw; loss of virginity, creampie!!!!!, iloveyous, it’s actually really cute, womb fucking ig, softdom!nerd!miguel, NAWT PROODREAD!!!

2k+ words

@cheonstapes: thank you sm lovelie🩷🩷 apologies it took so long but this was so fun to write and i love your mind. i hope you enjoy beautiful! also tumblr keeps fucking up my italics and bolds so im gonna add them on later!

you and miguel had to have been the most stereotypical couple at the university.

who would’ve guessed the two biggest nerds on campus would’ve gotten together — especially when it was because of your shared interest in genetics. but to miguel’s friends, it was so sweet — a little cringe, but sweet. seeing that it had already been a year since you two started dating, the two of you not being able to hold a conversation without stuttering and blushed profusely was quite concerning.

every time you looked him in the eyes, your heart would suddenly beat a million times faster — face flushing, hands trembling as you try to come off as calm as possible. it was so embarrassing, you could cry just thinking about it. he had such pretty eyes hidden behind those thin frames, didn’t make it better that he would stare into your soul every time you talked.

but miguel wasn’t any better — in fact, he was worse. his whole friendship group being the talk of the college helped miguel to open up more, the persistent attention meaning he had to adapt to being surrounded by people. the incessant staring? that’s him trying to make himself less nervous by making you more nervous so you would stop looking at him so he could admire you without you realising — long, i know. but he loved how sweet you were, the way you were so deeply in love with him — just like he was with you.

walking out of your biology lecture, he speeds up walking to catch you on the othwr side of the room — gently slipping his hands into yours. you tense, looking up at his handsome face before relaxing — “ah, m-miggy!” he smiles so softly, wrapping his beefy arm around your waist. “hey, pretty — you finished for today?” his fingers squeeze the fat of your hips, pulling you into his chest as he leans against a nearby wall.

he always knew how to make you so fucking nervous, staring down at you like you were the centre of his world — which you in fact were. “yeah! i was just gonna go back to my dorm and study. would…well, it’s ok if you’re busy — but do you, maybe, wanna…” god, why is it so hard to ask your boyfriend to hangout! he knew what you wanted to ask, he just wanted to hear you say it. “do i wanna what, hm? i mean — i don’t have any plans later either, i was thinking of going to pete-“

“no!” a brief flicker of slight panic takes over your face, you refuse to be that much of a mess to the point where you can even ask your own boyfriend out. “i mean, would you like to come my dorm tonight? t-to study, obviously.” amazing job, girlfriend, amazing job. once again, he wore that stupidly handsome smirk — fingers kneading the soft flesh of your waist. “study? of course, babe — why didn’t you just ask?” prick.

miguel always said he found it easier to study when you were right next to him — as in, resting in between his legs as your head lay on his chest. “did you get the answer to number 8? i think i missed that lesson…” you tilt your head, looking up at him. you looked so cute with your little glasses as you studied, a small pout on your lips as you tap on his leg for him to help you out.

he was thinking a lot of things right now, and none of them were the answer for number 8. before he met you, miguel was always deep in his studies — head buried in a textbook every night. but now you’re his, he can’t think about anything else. the outline of your chest against your tight shirt, pert nipples straining against the fabric since you insist you feel better without a bra — he wasn’t a perv, but damn if you were making him feel like one.

“u-uh…i think — uhhhh…” he was really fucked. your cute little giggle and the way you shimmied around to sit on your knees, hands clutching his cheeks. “migs, you’re burning up! you ok?” he was no ok, not by a long shot. despite having so much attention on him simply because of the people he’s friends with, miguel was still very much a virgin. yeah, he’s jerked off before — but that was only after he met you. your entrance into his life awakened a part of his brain that he thought was forever stored away — and he did not know how to deal with it.

sex was something the two of you were yet to talk about, 2 years into the relationship and it was like you were kids about to have their first kiss. there were lingering touches here and there, but oh how badly he wants to feel your sweet pussy around him. “can… i touch you?” he could barely register the words that came out of his mouth before he takes in the way your face changes completely. the heat radiating from your cheeks could melt the arctic, that was the one thing you weren’t expecting to hear. at all.

of course, you were a virgin too — all in all saving yourself for miguel for when the time comes. you just didn’t expect it to be so soon. he looked so depraved already, panting softly — hair tousled from when he was laying down, you want him so, so bad. “u-uh, yeah — go ahead!” you didn’t mean to sound so enthusiastic, but miguel didn’t care — a hand immediately trailing up your plush thighs, toying with the edge of your panties under your skirt. “you’re…you’re so pretty.” he could feel his hands shaking, heart pounding in his chest — the warmth of your skin and the small moans leaving your lips were fucking with his head.

the tender skin was so sensitive, causing your thighs to tremble under his touch. he didn’t expect you to be so sensitive. fuck, did he want to tease you for it, but he couldn’t talk — not when he was already about to bust when you haven’t even touched him yet. “mmm — m-miggy.. please..touch me.” you could tell he wanted to, he just didn’t know where to start. his fingers ran up your inner thigh, teasingly running over the small wet patch on your cute panties.

he felt like a newborn learning how to walk again, the rugged rhythm in which he was working your little clit showed how inexperienced he is — but you didn’t care, especially not when you yourself couldn’t even notice his lack of technique. he fully pulled your panties down your legs, throwing them to the side — there was a sharp in take of breath from him as he stared at your bare cunt, his bulge pressing harder aganst the mattress.

“g-god, baby, can… can i taste you, please?” miguel couldn’t believe how desperate he sounded, he had dreamed about eating your pretty, little pussy out for ever now, the thought of you denying him that now would break him. “y-yeah, fuck. please, miggy.” his tongue immediately latched onto your clit, swirling and sucking it into his mouth as his fingers probed your tight hole.

he knew you would need some extra prep to be prepared for taking him, so he made sure to make you feel as good as possible — he wasn’t about to let your first time be your worst. the fat of your thighs were tight around his head, holding him in place as he steadily fucked you with his tongue. for someone who was a virgin only 20 minutes ago, he sure knew how to work that tongue — your breathy moans breaking through the sloppy squelching noises of your wetness.

“migs…i — mmph!” the sensation was unknown but not unwelcome. a firm pressure in your tummy that felt like a dam about to burst all over your boyfriend’s face. miguel’s watched enough porn to know what that sound meant, reluctantly sitting up from his position between your legs to peer down at you — drooling cock bobbing between his thighs. he licked your arousal from his lips, shakily grabbing onto your legs to push them over his shoulders.

“baby, ‘m not letting you cum until you’ve had my cock in you — ‘s not how it works.” he felt like he was going insane, the sight of your pussy, so tantalisingly close to his length — the chubby tip poking against your entrance. you could only nod, you couldn’t argue with that — not when you’ve been waiting for this moment. upon getting your approval, he wrapped a beefy hand around his cock — smearing his pre-cum along your puffy folds.

he was so slow when he pushed into you, the sheer girth of him stretching your poor pussy thin. “fuckin’ hell, baby— s-so, so tight.” his strong hips pounded against your pelvis, your skin tinging a faint shade of red. your body was jostled against the headboard with every thrust, a thick rim of cream forming at his base. miguel was lost in the feeling of your cunt, drooling mindlessly against your neck as he rammed deep inside of you.

“m-miguel…!” the harder he fucked into you, the shakier your voice was — whiny moans and heavy grunts reverberated through your small dorm room. he couldn’t believe how good fucking you felt, your velvety walls gripping onto him like a life line. miguel was completely delirious, only letting incoherent mumbles — a bruising grip on your waist as he brings you back against his cock.

“ohhh, f-fuck…! iloveyou, so — shit, so much!” your pussy was so good, he didn’t even realised it slipped out — i love you. he really did, and in this moment — there was nothing else but the two of you, connecting so beautifully as you give yourselves to each other fully. he messily sucks on the skin just below your ear, simply grinding into your womb as his hand trails down your back — squeezing the flesh of your ass to pull you flush against him.

“i…i love you too, migs.”

you..you love him too? fuck. his hips stilled, gooey cum filling your cunt raw as he pours all of his love into you. miguel’s back heaved, his arms giving out under him as he falls on top of you — wrapping an arm around your waist as he carefully rubs your clit. his heart was soaring, smiling down at you as he fucked himself into overstimulation — determined to see you cum all over his cock.

“my pretty girl, you’re all mine — wanna see you cum. you gonna cum for me, yeah?” god, his voice was husky and deep — tickling your ear and sending tingles down your spine. your legs trembled, cunt spasming as it gushed out that clear liquid. it coated the sheets below you, splashing against his stomach — a low, gravelly moan leaving miguel as he filled you with his cum once again.

the two of you laid in silence for a beat, panting softly as he rested on your chest. one of your hands moved up to cup his face, picking up his glasses from your bedside stand — placing them on his face, albeit with wonkily but it matched that dopey grin on his face. “i swear to god, i’ve turned you into an animal, migs! you sure that was your first time?” giggling, you kissed his lips softly — nimble fingers brushing through his sweaty hair.

“guess i got a bit carried away, huh?” he sighed, softly rubbing your tummy. “‘s not my fault i’ve got the most beautiful, sexiest, most loving, caring, perfect, goddess of a girlfriend anyone could wish for.”

miguel was embarrassingly in love with you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

-smack myass like a drum

#cheonstapes #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara headcanons #miguel o’hara smut #miguel smut #cheonstapes films!🪷 #nerd miguel smut #nerd miguel #miguel ohara #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara smut

[extervus]

My house is fucked up cause like, in general spiders aren't a problem because we have three cats who all LOVE chasing and catching spiders, but the ones that do manage to evade them are the most fucked up, evil spiders ever. Like morally. A couple of years ago, there was a spider that lived in the ceiling over my shower in the basement, and the ONLY time it would leave its home is when I was getting OUT of the shower, naked and covered in water, and it would specifically lower itself via web right above me as I was standing by the shower drying off and I would have to blow at it to get it to go back up. It wouldn't lower itself and other time, even if I was in the area doing literally anything else. Only when I was naked and getting out of the shower. At my most fucking vulnerable. I eventually killed that cunt but now I have another spider that is APPARENTLY living in or around my BED, and a week ago or two or ago it ran across my face while I was trying to go asleep, and then a few days ago I was drifting in and out of sleep while trying to nap and it fucking crawled along my right arm and bit me five different times. I have yet to catch or kill this one. I'm being haunted by the devil and the devil has eight legs

#shut up max #spider tw #tw spiders #spiders are cool or whatever. im overall neutral on them ngl #but theres something so deeply fucked about the spiders that are spawned here in my house #at least the ones that my cats cant manage to catch and devour #four of the five bites are on the back of my shoulder #and the other bite- which was the first and worst one- is on my arm #that one i had to keep track of cause it was swelling pretty badly and getting really hot and itching horribly #but i took a benadryl Saturday night (i got the bites on Friday) and its so much better now #just some lingering redness and a lil hard lump and two lil scabs where it looks like the actual puncture marks were #before that tho it had swollen to like two inches in diameter by Saturday night. with the punctures being in the center #Sunday morning tho after the Benadryl they were back to looking like normal spider bites (in my opinion) #and no i dont think it was a brown recluse because i think it wouldve started reacting worse a lot sooner? #for the first few hours it was just itchy and kinda hurt like a normal bug bite #the worst of it didnt come until Saturday and then a Benadryl helped anyways so idk #just a bad reaction i guess #anyways. point is: woe fucked up demon spiders be upon me

[pxtched]

NSFW IMAGINE…

nerd!miguel using a fleshlight thinking of you

sub!miguel?? - reader is only mentioned - very short - (M)masturbation - use of flesh light - MDNI.

It wasn’t like he hasn’t jacked off before, he did but not that much. BUT after meeting you and him becoming your little helper, oh he did it so more often.

Thinking how tight you feel on his dick, or how your pretty lips would wrap around his dick. Thrusting up in his fist fantasizing about you.

He saw something online, and it caught his attention. It was a flesh light, he dosent even know how it feels but he wants to find out. He feels some shame ordering it, he just has to make sure his roommate or anyone else sees it.

After a couple of days, it delivered and he sees the box outside the door. Thankfully his roommate isn’t there, out partying.

he grabs the box and walks inside, he unpacks the package and gulps at the sight of it. He grows flustered as he feels the texture of it, he’s already feeling hot and bothered so perfect timing.

He grabs it, stands up and walks to his room. He close’s the door and locks it. He puts the pocket pussy on his bed for now as he leans on the wall next to his bed, he pulls up his shirt revealing his abdomen. He holds the shirt from falling down with his teeth as his free hands pull down his pants and reveal his aching dick.

He looks at his night stand and open the last drawer, he pulls up a bottle of lube. He pours it on his hand and whimpered when he feels the cold liquid on his dick.

He grabs the pocket pussy back up and position it, he close’s his eyes and imagine it’s you. You on your knees, your hands on his thighs as you begin to put his dick in your mouth.

He moans when he feeling something entirely different from his hand, he starts moving up slowly still thinking it’s you.

His pace quickens as moans get louder, his hips moving too. Thinking it’s him fucking your mouth and not the toy. His thrusts become frantic as his whines and moans fill his quiet room. He moans when he reaches his climax, coming inside of it and some of it spills on the floor.

He’ll clean it later when shame and guilt gets to him but for now?

It wasn’t enough, so he got on his bed. Fully naked, he began moving the toy again moaning out of overstimulation but he doesn’t care. His eyes closed shut as he thinks your riding him, your breasts bouncing up and down each move you make.

He lets pathetic desperate moans as he fucks the toy, he sounds like he was in a porn video. His glasses almost falling off his face as tears form in his eyes.

“Ah!—ugh!” Miguel moans to himself, his legs started spasm as his hips thrusted up.

“Oh my god! Fuckfuckfuck—! Coming!” Miguel moans loudly as he thrusted his hips up one last time and he came so much. His eyes shot open as he leaned his head back against the pillows, mouth agape, Arching his back as he let out a loud choked up Moan. His legs were shaking as he regain his breathing.

He definitely needs to take a shower and clean up before his roommate comes back.

A/N - IM ALIVEEEE !! I actually forgot how to write, school work and personal stuff was piling up so that’s why I was dead for a while! Sorry y’all!

ps: I was going to make him moan out the readers name but…for me I don’t like writing ‘y/n’ I wanna make a nickname but I don’t know what😭

TAGS - @safixiovi , @syler-griffin , @jadeloverxd , @miguels-aranita , @hyjionie , @migueloharasoulmate hope y’all like this <3

REBLOGS - COMMENTS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU FOR READING!

master-list _ guidelines/rules _ abt me !

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