#sorry for going on and on about a stupid movie from the 90s that literally nobody cares about

[deathmetalangel]

Hii! I’m literally carving smuts in these days, and I just finished Wednesday!!

I was thinking about a bsf to lovers, where reader and tyler have to hide from his dad because the reader is an outcast and they have to hide and sexual tension, or maybe the reader goes to the cafe during tyler’s night shift!!

Btw, have a good day xx

-anon 🍃

DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS? (TYLER GALPIN X GN!READER)

warnings: sexual tension, age gaps (they're a ghost so), oral (m!receiving), unprotected sex, no implied afab or amab genitals for reader, creampie, l word, tyler almost transforming, mentions of death

tyler galpin has many secrets, his biggest isn’t the monster in his closet, it’s how stupid his closest ghost friend makes him

two requests in once since two people asked for tyler galpin smut teehee

A normie and an outcast? Who would've thought the two could even be friends. Especially between a lifeless ghost and and the son of the town Sheriff who was wary of the Nevermore students. Y/n was easily Nevermore's longest resident, but throughout their years at the academy they had never enjoyed their time quite like they did now.

That was thanks to Tyler Galpin. The 'human' boy had somehow charmed the young spirit. For a soul forced to damnation the current life they lived was surprisingly enjoyable. Even now, when they had to hide in Tyler's room whenever his dad barged in to speak with him about some random chore or another trivial topic.

Y/n waits until the coast is clear to appearate again. "Sorry about him, my dads just been on edge. With everything happening in town and all you know." Tyler apologizes for the constant intrusions.

"It's nothing really. I think of it as a way of practicing my spectral abilities more. So, thanks for the practice." Y/n smiles at the awkward boy. Of course they already knew his secrets, not that he was aware though. "So what movie were you going to show me?"

"Oh! Yeah, lemme grab it." Tyler rushes to his closet to find the dvd. Who still uses dvds? "I wanted you to watch American Psycho since you haven't seen it, which is still weird to me but whatever." Y/n watches him start up the movie while they float towards his bed and take a seat.

Tyler smiles and sits down next to y/n. While their eyes were fixated on the movie he kept glancing back at them, he was so desperate for their approval. Would they like the movie? Or think it was dumb? Think he was dumb? What if they hated him? His body tenses up when their hand lands next to his thigh.

It wasn't the temperature of their skin, it was how close they were to touching him. He glances back again, his eyes studying every feature on their face. It was almost impossible for him not too. Y/n seemed to notice the attention on them when they look back and see Tyler staring 'inconspicuously'. "You seen the movie too many times?"

Tyler's face turns red from being caught. "Uh, no I actually really like the movie. I just wanted to see if you were enjoying it." His lie was apparent, but y/n really didn't mind.

"Yeah I am. It's pretty good, although Im pretty impartial to 90s movies since, you know, that's when I died. The Craft was a good one." They smile at how nervous Tyler was getting. So, they slyly move their hand on top of his thigh. "What, you don't like that movie?"

He clears this throat awkwardly. "No no. I like that movie, a lot actually. It's really good."

"Are you just not feeling movies? We can do something else if you want, just say the word." He was freaking out at the implication. Were they just being a tease, or was y/n really implying something else.

Y/n smiles and slowly presses their body towards Tyler, like they were waiting for an answer. "We can do whatever you want to do, I have my xbox or-" His breath hitches when both of their hands are placed on his upper thighs. "Just pick," He mumbles trying and hoping that his blood doesn't all rush to his eager dick.

"That's all you want to do? Or I can suck your-" Tyler quickly covers their mouth when he hears loud footsteps coming upstairs. His heart was practically beating out of his chest until they faded away meaning his dad went back downstairs. "Oh yeah, I gotta be as quiet as a mouse." It was obvious y/n enjoyed teasing him.

Especially when they glanced down at the hard on that was prominently shown through his jeans. "What's the magic word Ty?"

"Please." He whispers partially out of breath from the tension he was experiencing. Y/n smiles while they promptly undo his belt and loosen his jeans. His dick was straining in his boxers, a sight to behold.

His breath catches in his throat when their hand begins to make contact with his aching cock. "You're quite a big boy aren't you?" He can't even respond when their chilled fingers rub against his tip that was exuding precum. "Ty, do I make you nervous?" He looks down at the ghost whose face was positioned right next to his dick.

"Very much so."

They just giggle. "Good." Y/n licks a stripe up against his shaft making him throw his head back. Their hand was fixed at the base of his dick while they gently kissed his tip. "I wanna know how you taste," He can feel himself being eveloped by their mouth. Tyler bites back the breathy moans that want to leave his lips. Their other hand gently grabs ahold of his balls making him almost audibly moan.

It was getting hard for him to hold back. Especially when he felt his dick start to reach into their throat. "Fuck..." He bites his tongue to no avail. Y/n let’s him go and smiles at his mewling beneath them.

“Shhh. We gotta be quiet. Besides, we haven’t even got to the best part.” His eyes widened when they pushed him back onto his mattress. “Plus, I wouldn’t be the one getting caught with my dick out.” They giggle before dropping their bottoms and sliding their legs out of their underwear.

Climbing up on the bed y/n was basically straddling Tyler. They slip two finger into their mouth before rubbing them around and into their opening. “You ready?” They could see just how eager he was. It was funny, Tyler was acting like a freshman that hadn’t even got their dick touched.

Y/n moves slow when they line themselves up, their heart almost beating in sync with his. Tyler grabs at his sheets when he feels his dick start to enter them. Curses string from his mouth while he tries to keep quiet. When he feels himself bottom out. “You feel so fucking good.”

“So I’ve been told.” Y/n begins to rock their hips steadily, while Tyler is desperate to pick up the pace. He bucks upwards when he feels their walls clench around him. They had his dick in a vice grip and he couldn’t he happier.

Y/n lays flat on Tyler’s chest burying their head into the crook of his neck. Their breath fans his face while they continue to move sensually. It was almost like something snapped in Tyler, y/n had expected it, but not this soon.

He can feel his resolve slipping when he grabs onto y/n’s hips. A quick yelp leaves them at the sudden touch. Tyler starts to rock their hips more, each thrust of his concerningly hardening cock sending their mind into overdrive. “Fuck Tyler, don’t stop. Please.” They grabbed onto his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh.

Y/n was seeing stars with the way Tyler was thrusting. Both of their bodies were on fire and the upcoming highs. And they can’t help but gasp feeling the growing claws start to scrape across their semi-translucent skin. They had never felt more alive. Well, they did before they died but yeah.

Tyler doesn’t quit, he keeps on bucking his hips and bringing their hips down to match his unrelenting pace. Desperate to reach his peak and bring them with him. Y/n wanted to scream at the pleasure that was building. Like a damn about to bust, they bite down on their lip trying to contain their excitement. “Tyler I’m gonna cum, please faster, faster.”

Like a good little Hyde his pace seemed almost superhuman now. Tyler fought back his near transformation when the tension in his body snapped. He slammed their hips down again causing the euphoria to take over like a tsunami.

Y/n covers their mouth while they cum around his throbbing dick. They squeeze him for all he’s worth before y/n completely goes limp in his arms. “Fuck,” They mumble almost incoherently at the orgasm. Tyler pants when he pulls out, cum spilling from their aching hole. They shiver at the loss.

Tyler rolls over and lays y/n down gently, any hint of his previous self washed away with his euphoric state. “Shit, I should’ve been more gentle. Just lay down. I’ll take care of you.” Y/n yawns softly before nodding. Curling into his warmth while he took care of the rest.

The most warmth they’d felt in a while, and it was about to be the best sleep in a while as well. Their post nut haze can’t even get them to here the words that leave his mouth next. “I think I love you.”

#deathmetalangel #tyler galpin x reader #tyler galpin #tyler galpin x y/n #tyler galpin x you #wednesday #wednesday tyler #wednesday smut #wednesday imagine

[forever-rogue]

I haven't seen it yet but I've thought about it some times: Eddie (with plus size reader, bc I'm a big girl and I'd really just love to picture myself with him more clearly) where reader tells him she's pregnant (after they're both finished with HS some time), Eddie being a super supportive boyfriend during the pregnancy, all excited, even reads magazines and articles and books about it all and just being super happy and crying when the baby is born 🥺 and always so supportive and reassuring when reader has intense body image issues especially after giving birth. I would LOVE it if you're willing to write something like that 💛

He seems to be such a big softie and I imagine that he'd be an amazing father. Teaching his kids to play the guitar or literally any instrument, jamming out with them playfully to Metallica, draping his Dio vest around them and all that. Ugh. My heart. 😭🥺 sure he'd be scared to become like his own father but deep down we all know that will never happen and reader would always reassure him that he's doing a splendid job at being a dad 💛

AN | We have some baby daddy Eddie because…he’s the best and why not. Maybe, if y’all want we can do more dad Eddie 🥰

Warnings | None

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You weren’t stupid. 

You were a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. So when you started throwing up in the mornings, starting feeling nauseous, and experienced way too many emotions all at once, you knew something was up. That and the fact that your period was late….for the second month in a row. The first month you were willing to chalk up to stress; you were months away from finishing college and the reality that life was going to change again was enough to make you worry. But two months was worrisome. It hadn’t happened before. Shit. 

It was the early ‘90s and while science had come a long way, part of you still didn’t want to believe the results on the little plastic stick in your hand. Maybe it was a false positive…but no. That combined with everything told you that it definitely wasn’t false. 

“Shit,” you tossed the small plastic stick into the sink with a groan. You studied your reflection and shook your head at your teary eyed mirror self. Well. At least you had beaten teen pregnancy, although not by much. And at least you were almost finished with college - you wouldn’t be super far along by the time you were. And then you could have your baby and eventually find a job and then it would - stop. You were getting way too ahead of yourself. You didn’t even positively know you were pregnant. Not until you went to the doctor. And then there were still other options. 

Fuck.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey space cadet,” Eddie laughed lightly as he waved his hand in front of your face, “you with me?”

“Huh?” you blinked a few times to get rid of the bleariness from your eyes before turning your attention to him. You were sitting on the couch, watching a movie after dinner. Well, he was watching, and you were panicking. But Eddie knew something was up; you weren’t curled into his side as you normally would be. You were on the other side and hunched into yourself with a blanket expression on your face, “y-yeah. ‘s all fine, love.”

“What’s wrong?” he wasn’t buying it in the slightest, “babe.”

“Nothing.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“It’s not-”

“You are too!”

“I’m pregnant,” those two little words, ones with enormous weight behind them, spilled from your lips before you could think about it. Eddie recoiled from how he’d been leaning towards you, his eyes narrowing in confusion, “I-I think. I, umm…I took a test today and it was positive.”

“Pregnant,” he repeated as you slowly nodded, eyes welling up with fresh tears, “wow.”

“Eddie, I’m so sorry,” it was instinctive to deflect and apologize, despite the fact that you weren’t at fault, “I didn’t mean to…the condom must have broken or something.”

“Angel, why are you apologizing?”

“B-because?” he reached over and gently brushed away the tears that had fallen from your eyes, “I’m the one that’s pregnant. It’s my fault.”

“Absolutely not,” he took your chin in his and turned your face to his, “last time I checked it takes two for you to get pregnant. So, you know, that’s at least half my fault, but nobody’s at fault. It’s alright, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”

“Eddie,” you pulled his hand and huffed, “this is a baby we’re talking about, not just a decision like what we want for dinner or what concert we’re going to next. This is a huge thing. Like…whatever we do will change our lives forever.”

“I know,” he put his hands on your thighs and urged you closer to his warm frame. You hesitated for a moment before relaxing and shuffling over so he could pull you into his lap. A singular look into his big, soft brown eyes had you crying you again, tears running down your cheeks as you tried to stifle your cries. Eddie made a small sound before he wrapped his arms tightly around you as you buried your face into his chest, “I know, babe. Let it all out, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“How?” it was a muffled whimper against his neck.

“Because we’ve got each other,” a kiss was pressed to the side of your head, “and whatever you want to do, you’ll always have my full support. But look at this way - you’re just about done with school and I know you, my smart girl, will make it happen no matter what. I’ve got a decent job and with that and gigs we’re okay on money. We have our own place and we can turn the extra office and practice room into a nursery.”

“Eddie,” you turned and looked at him with a small, teary smile, “why do you always know what to say?”

“‘Cause I’m your boyfriend, duh,” he pressed a kiss to your lips, not minding the salty taste of your tears, “and I love you. Always.”

“What if I…what if I want to have an abortion?” you asked and his expression didn’t falter.

“Then that’s what you’ll do,” he stated simply, “it’s your body, your choice. I’ll be with you no matter what. And if you decide we want to wait to have little nuggets until way later that’s cool too.”

“Stop being so wonderful,” he took your face tenderly in his face before resting his forehead against yours. You knew - you’d always known - that he was the only man that you could ever imagine loving so fully and deeply, “I love you, Eddie.”

“I love you,” it was a soft whisper, barely audible but it still warmed your whole body, “we’ll figure this out, I swear.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Quit staring weirdo,” you hadn’t even checked to see if he was looking, but you could feel his intense stare on you regardless. You turned out of the closet and found him leaning against the doorframe, a cheeky smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest, “Eds.”

“Can’t help it,” he grinned, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Ugh,” you teasingly groaned, “such a sap. I don’t feel so beautiful right now…more like a giant beach ball.”

It was about halfway through your pregnancy and you were definitely feeling very pregnant these days. You’d started to show but it was like overnight you had grown a much larger bump which caused you to spiral. Suddenly it all seemed so overwhelming; you were going to have a small human to take care of, you still needed to finish the nursery, and you hadn’t even thought about getting a job after having the baby and none of your pants fit right and it was everything all at once. But all your worries and fears had subsided as soon as Eddie had wrapped you up in his arms and promised that everything would work out. 

“Well, you are a beautiful beach ball,” he snorted in amusement as you glowered at him. He held up his hands in mock surrender before coming over to and pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I’m kidding, babe. You’re even more beautiful than the day we met, and now you’re growing our kid? That’s pretty fucking metal and makes you that much more beautiful.”

“This kid’s already got you wrapped around their little finger, don’t they?” he grinned and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “and their mom does too. Babe, did you know that the baby’s like the size of an ear of corn now?”

“Corn?” you grinned and he nodded eagerly, his curls bouncing roguishly, “that’s interesting. Let’s hope it comes out as a human and not a vegetable…or fruit. How did you know that?”

“You’re the one doing the hard work so I figured I gotta pull my pre-dad weight and do the behind the scenes stuff!” oh. You were absolutely and wholly in love with this man. Tears welled up in your eyes and pearled down your cheeks, causing you to sniffle, "oh no, sweetheart. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Was it something I said? Did?"

“N-no,” you shook your head and clung onto him tighter, “I mean yes…but no. ‘m just all sorts of emotional these days. You are just so…wonderful. I love you so much.”

“Oh,” his cheeks flushed a pretty pastel pink as you peppered kisses all over his face, “I love you. I just…I want to support you every way I can, you know? You’re the one doing the hardest work of all and I feel like I’m here doing nothing.”

“You’re so wrong, Eddie Munson,” you took his face in your hands and looked at him with the softest look on your face, “you’ve been so good to me this whole time; you’ve been there for me through everything. You’ve taken care of me and looked up and done so many things to make this whole pregnancy better. I don’t think I could have survived it without you. You’re going to be a great dad, Eds. You already are.”

“I’m going to try,” he promised, “I’m going to give this baby everything I never had. I want them to have all the love in the world. You and the baby.”

“I already do,” it was a soft promise that caused his heart to feel like it was full to bursting, “and so do they. You know, if I had to choose anyone in the world to be my baby daddy, I’m glad it turned out to be you.”

“Baby daddy?” dark brows rose in amusement and almost disappeared into his hairline. 

“Yeah,” you answered simply as you turned back to the closet in a desperate attempt to find something decent and comfortable to wear, “we’re not married so you’re my baby daddy.”

“Not married yet.”

“Oh? You gonna marry me, Munson?”

“Duh, baby,” his smile was so large that it seemed magical, “I’ve been planning that since the day I met you.”

“You’re a real romantic, you know that?”

‘Only for you,” he wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting a hand on your belly, “and for the nugget.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You had been right of course. Eddie had been smitten with your son from the moment he was born and he’d first held him in his arms. 

Jamie ended up being a little mini-me version of his father with those same big brown doe eyes and unruly brown curls. There was no denying that it was his son; not that he would ever want that. He was obsessed with his son, just as he was with you. The best things to ever happen he often claimed. You felt the same, naturally. 

And with every passing day, he proved just how wonderful of a father he was. The best of course, just like you knew he would be. And he'd helped you through so many issues, including all the bad thoughts you let seep in about your body during and after your pregnancy. He was patient and kind, and made you feel so incredibly beautiful and loved. Which you were, of course.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Where are my boys?” It had been a long day of work for you and there had been nothing you wanted more than to come home and pile up with the two of them and get all of the cuddles. You set your bag down but heard no response. Just before you could call out to them again, you heard a hushed voice and some soft music coming from down the hallway. You followed the sounds and peeked through the open door to Jamie’s room. Not surprisingly you found the two of them together, Eddie with his guitar in his hand and his clone sitting across from him, draped in Eddie’s entirely too big jean jacket. You pushed the door open gently to keep from startling either of them, “there you are, my loves!”

“Mommy,” your son was up and padded over to you as best as he could before wrapping his little arms around your legs. You instantly softened and leaned and gently ruffle through his dark mop of curls, “missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Eddie was practically beaming from his spot on the floor, setting aside his guitar to come over to you. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, sighed softly when he saw how sweetly you were looking at him.

“I missed both of my boys so very much.”

“Up,” the little one turned to you and extended his little arms up to you with an eager expression on his face, “mommy!”

“Sorry bud,” before he could protest, Eddie had scooped him up in his arms and settled him on his hip. Jamie pouted, a trait that was so reminiscent of his father, and looked between the two of you, “mommy can’t pick you up right now, you’re too big.”

“But you pick me up,” he protested with a little huff, “I want mommy.”

“Mommy can’t pick you up because she’s growing your sister,” Eddie explained softly, as he had on several other occasions. You weren’t sure if he just didn’t understand the concept of you being pregnant and him getting a little sister or if he willfully chose to ignore that little fact, “and I’m not so you’re stuck with daddy for now.”

“Okay,” he leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder as you chuckled in amusement, “I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too bud,” he promised, “you getting tired?”

“‘m not,” a weak little protest.

“How about a nap before dinner?” you suggested softly, “and then after dinner we can watch a movie?”

“Fine,” a dramatic sigh escaped his lips. This was undoubtedly Eddie Munson’s son, “can we please have chicken nuggies for dinner?”

“I think we can make that happen baby,” you promised, motioning for Eddie to put him in his bed. He was so tender as he tucked the young boy in, smoothing over his hair before kissing his forehead. 

“I’ll see you in a little while bud,” he turned to you and kissed you before gently rubbing your still small bump, “let me know if you need any help.”

“I’ve got him,” you grinned, “I’ll be out in a few and if it’s longer than that, I fell asleep and need you to come and rescue me.”

“I can do that, princess.”

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“You’re the most metal ever!”

“Yeah?” he asked as Jamie nodded eagerly, “so are you, kid.”

You exchanged a look with Eddie and his whole face was lit up, and he felt like he was going to melt into a puddle with all the love he held for the two of you. Three, he reminded himself, soon to be a family of four, “I think you’re pretty metal too, babe.”

“We make a pretty metal family!”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you

[antisocialmia]

Dr. W. Afton headcanons

sfw and nsfw mentioned -> mdni

gen!neutral reader, just silly thoughts and mostly sweet (I hope) probably not readproof so sorry for any writing mistakes.

Dr. W. Afton from the game 'Thats Not My Neighbour'

Disclaimer!! I dont own the character or anything. Just trying to support the creators.

Art credits: @_.calitryx on TikTok

Appearance

probably about 5'11 to 6'0 tall

takes really good care of his facial hair (the maximum it gets are two days before he shaves again)

see him something between slim and yet muscular, sleeper build

slim waist and his shoulders on the broader side

Cake. Thats it.

his hands are rather on the rough side but he tries to take care of them

long fingers and takes the cleaning of his hands very seriously??

he has defined features but not like too sharp

Random

he has knee issues

addicted to coffee, also his very first thought after waking up

has a habit of sleeping in when he has a day off

or so he says ─ the first time you slept over he was awake at 7.

takes a lot of time for his hair in the bathroom

was insecure about his nose in his teens but learned to accept it nonetheless

he's left-handed

randomly mutturs out some facts throughout the day

he needs to push up his glasses pretty often because he once broke them by sitting down on them but refused to get them fixed

"its only a little bent." Yeah, a whole 90 degrees

he has a picture of you in his wallet

probably all his colleges know about you at this point

he's such a yapper once talking about a topic he enjoys maybe just a little too much ─ but you let him because who can say no to someone like him?

notices the tiniest changes of literally anything

going from things laying somewhere else in his apartment to the act of a person he's talking to

also the type of guy who watches you look at something a little too long and buys it for you as a present later

he remembers everything, literally has the brain of an elephant. 'I remember you saying you wish you had that so I got it for you.'

Style

you might actually mistake him for a phyics teacher (that damn checker pattern)

closet is mostly filled with linen shirts and some suit pants

'thats all he ever needed' ─ his words

color variates, he has almost every color but those bright ones.

of course he has some home clothes (you love to steal)

comfortable sweats and cozy sweaters

great taste when it comes for comfortable clothing ─ always manages to get the most fluffy ones too.

for jewlery, he only wears his watch around his left wrist

Activities

he probably has a gym membership but never actually goes

if you go tho, he might join you

in his freetime he loves to jog

loves to explore new things, like new recipes to new games (If mobile or not)

playfights usually end up with him laying down on you with his full weight

always has a stupid grin on his face when he does that

Apartment

he's completely clean, not freaky clean tho

there's not a single dust grain

but hes not too pressed about it ─ he simply enjoys tidying his apartment

gives him some sort of comfort

you can also find sometimes his clothes over the couch or laying on the ground, which is rare but it happens

his job doesnt require too much of his time so he has plenty of time at home

Relationships

like said before, he had some insecurities

confidence wasnt his thing in his teens (He was probably one of those 'uhm actually' kids but unintentionally.)

changed in his 20's ─ went out regulary but never found anything that could have gone further

which changed when you came around

so, he indeed was experienced but you taught him things aswell

love language is physical touch and acts of service (also words of affirmation)

loves random hugs and gives them too

huge on pda and shows it too

he really loves to just embrace you and cuddle with you on the couch or in bed while watching a movie or show

sleeping with him is hell

he's tussing and turning all night long, but only If you arent in his grasp

once youre trapped in his arms there's no way out and he wont move a single inch

small snores, but only once in a while ─ barely noticable too.

has all sorts of nicknames for you 'baby' , 'love' , 'honey' , 'sugar' , 'cupcake' you name it.

NSFW -> mdni

a complete switch

service dom

lives to do what you tell him to

to the location -> probably everywhere in the apartment when youre up to it

high-sex drive and probably lasts atleast 2 rounds

gets super touchy when he's worked up and just hints what he wants instead of saying it directly

he's shy! Just catch up to what he's implying.

knows the difference between harder and faster

also, not exactly into hard bdsm but isnt shy to explore with you either

praising to the top with him

you wont catch him letting out one word that would degrade

loves physical touch so this is his time to shine

body worshiping

kisses every inch of skin his lips can reach and then again

always tells you how good youre doing and how proud he is of you for taking him that well.

he's not.. exactly small either

a true mystery how he keeps it hidden beneath those forbidden pants

he loves to mark you, not for claiming and only for his eyes to see (maybe on the nape of your neck but not further)

basically, he does it how you want it. Romantic, slow and tender? He's in with all at it. Rose pedals even.

in the mood for something more rough and- ahem- man handling? Sure. He's in. But expect a godly aftercare ─ he can't stand the thought of hurting you

Aftercare

whenever, he's all sweet and gentle

acting as If youre made out of glass and will break any moment

once again he'll do anything you ask him to do.

a bath? 'Of course, my love.' Just a simple glass of water? Its already on your nightstand. Cuddles? Thats already happening before you had the thought. A massage? 'Just relax,'

a dream, literally.

he'll clean you both up without a second thought and wont let you lift a finger

if you do, youre met with a pouty expression on his face.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it. A little rushed.

#thats not my neighbor #headcanon #dr w afton #smut #D.D.D. #actually made for my friend?? #physicist #down bad #thats not my neighbour Dr. W. Afton

[callmearcturus]

Okay here are the Mission Impossible grades now that I've seen them all

Mission Impossible 1: A-Tier

STILL LODGED IN MY FUCKING BRAIN. I did not go into this one expecting it to be that good. I only shouted at DePalma once I think and mostly I was staring in fascinated horror at the sexually-charged manipulative thriller unfolding. I am obsessed with the dynamic between Ethan, Phelps, and Claire, there is some SHIT going on there, the queer reading of this movie is off the charts. Would rewatch any day.

Mission Impossible 2 Silent Movie Recut: C-Tier

This is a bad fucking movie but Punct and I were screaming for 90% of the film, it was so fucking fun and stupid. Granted, I don't think we would have survived if we weren't watching the recut, BUT nothing will ever be funnier than Ethan doing a backflip and then mid-air changing to a down-kick. I was so shocked at the AUDACITY and the STUPIDITY I immediately rewound the scene to watch it again. Amazing. Totally batshit. Ethan why are you kicking everything you are a punchman.

Mission Impossible 3: Trash Tier

This movie was a nightmare. I feel actively bad for Cruise and Monaghan bringing their A game to a shit-tier script. This movie has MULTIPLE PROBLEMS. There were multiple sequences that were so poorly shot that I couldn't follow what the fuck was happening. The constant unnecessary cuts and the rapid tempo gave me a headache. JJA is incapable of letting a shot breathe at all, like if he doesn't cut every three to five seconds his head will explode. Also this script was ATROCIOUS. Fucking WHAT. There is no introducton to the team, making them feel completely tertiary. That line about sleeping with your sister catapulted me out of the movie like an ejection from a jet plane. The entire anti-god speech was peak 'take the keyboard away from JJA.' And WHAT was with the random bondage mask scene??? Was JJA like "sorry i have no idea how to keep the plot moving unless Ethan literally can't speak in this scene so here's the IMF-issued Unsexy Bondage Mask."

Also this Jack Bauerification of Ethan Hunt pisses me off. Ethan Hunt should not use assault rifles, that's not who he is, JJA meet me in the pit.

Ghost Protocol: A-Tier

Stupid and delightful and finally some good fucking food. The first of the McQuarrie Trilogy. After enduring MI3 I want to kiss McQuarrie on the fucking mouth for writing this. You actually get to know the team! There is time spent establishing each of their dynamics with Ethan! Finally Ethan is doing sneaky shit instead of just shooty shit! The Burj! The comedy! This is a 2 hour episode of Leverage and I fucking love it. Thank you, zero notes.

Rogue Nation: S-Tier

Oh babygirl here we fucking go. Not only McQuarrie on script (with help from good writers) but he's in the director chair, welcome to the party, hardy. I L O V E this movie. It has supplanted GP as my comfort watch of the series. Ilsa Faust is an excellent addition to the team with a lot of edge to her and the way she drives the plot thrills me chills me and fulfills me. And while she's kind of the love interest that is not even remotely the plot of the story, the story is crunchy with Solomon Lane serving such fuckin good vibes. He has actual motivation beyond "hello i am the baddie" he has thoughts and motivations and he also is STAGGERINGLY PETTY. Also I cannot tell what's my favorite bit of this one, the part where Ethan is fucking OUT OF IT after he gets resuscitated or when Ethan goes off the deep end.

This movie really said "Benji Dunn is 90% of Ethan's impulse control" and it was RIGHT! Thank you McQuarrie, I love you.

Fallout: S-Tier

I'm fucking unhinged about this movie. The batshit motorcycle chase in Paris, the HALO jump, the helicopter hijacking. Ethan's continued moral decay as his ethical compass begins to realign, and the way it fucks him over. Solomon fucking Lane back to haunt the shit out of everyone. That FUCKING bathroom brawl jesus fuck. Everyone is on their goddamn A game, they are giving everything. Watching the final act is like a prolonged heart attack. Also the cinematography and lighting is jawdroppingly gorgeous. Also Julia is AMAZING. HER SCENE WITH LUTHER MAKES ME EMOTIONAL.

Not only do I have no notes, I want McQuarrie to give me notes. Goddamn. Ethan Hunt is babygirl and his tired eyes give me feelings.

There it is, my lukewarm takes.

#mission impossible

[imagineanime2022]

League Of Villains Get A Mogwai

Tomura Shigaraki X Reader, Dabi X Reader, Mr Compress X Reader, Spinner X Reader

Requested: Anon

Request: Remember “Gizmo the Mogwai” from the movie “gremlins” what if reader joined the LOV and the little furry guy was part of their quirk and after reader, explained about the rules and responsibility. The little creature came with the LOV just loves and adores little gizmo,🥰

A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to post something I've been playing and still am playing Baldur's Gate 3 and have not been splitting my time very well but thought I would give you guys this. Thank you for being patient.

General

You told them the three rules and they all looked at you like you were crazy, they looked at the little creature nestled on your shoulder and honestly none of them believed that it could cause any devastation.

Dabi and Shigaraki had every intention of testing theory, you could see it in their eyes and you weren’t going to help them should they do something stupid.

Compress and Spinner didn’t believe you but they weren’t going to mess with someone else's quirk, they might even try to stop the others if they’re around.

Unfortunately the Mogwai himself is drawn to people that really want to test he’s limits, he likes Shigaraki because he sits in darkness for like 90% of the time and he liked Dabi because he just runs warm.

The rules are as follows: - Do not feed the little man after midnight. - Do not get the little guy wet. - Keep them out of bright light.

Tomura Shigaraki

✋Shigaraki definitely didn’t believe you, in fact he was so confident in his choice that he discarded the rules from his mind the moment that you finished talking about them. ✋It only took a couple days for you to realise that he was only going to learn through actions, so you left him alone with the little creature, granted you weren’t far and you could feel the change as it was happening but you let it happen. ✋Shigaraki didn’t actually do it on purpose this time, he was playing video games and not watching the little guy as he stuck his face in a bag of open snacks on the floor and it was definitely way past midnight. ✋The shock of the change caused Shigaraki to knock over his drink and spill it all over the little gremlin and now there was more than one.

“This seems to have gotten out of hand.” You mumbled as you looked at him from where you were leaning against his doorway. “What is that?” He asked. “That is what happens when you break the rules.” You explained. “Fix it.” He ordered. “I can fix it this time, but next time I’ll let it run its course.” You answered as you walked into the room, they all looked at you, eyes widening in recognition as you got closer, you kneeled one of them scampered up your arm sitting on your shoulder, your quirk activating and calming him before the others started to disappear. “That’s what happens?” He asked. “I did tell you that it would be bad.” You reminded him and he looked at you with narrowed eyes. “You better use that in battle.” He muttered. “Yeah, yeah boss man, just pay attention to what he’s doing next time.” You ordered. “Watch your tone, I’m the one that gives the orders.” He reminded you “now get out of my room and take the pet with you.”

Dabi

🔥 Dabi absolutely didn’t believe you but instead of an accident, he did it on purpose, the little gremlin was just with him, he was warmer than anyone else. 🔥 He could see you across the bar talking to the boss man, you weren’t watching him and he took the opportunity. 🔥 Literally doesn’t hide what he’s doing and does not feel guilty about it, tipping an entire drink on you little guy's head but the changes were almost instant. 🔥 He’d probably call you over if you don’t notice, because the little guys all love him for his warmth and he is mildly swarmed by them.

“Hey! Come get your pet!” Dabi called from across the bar and you glanced at him and smiled leaning back on the bar as you looked at him. “Looks like someone broke the rules.” You shrugged “I really don’t know if I want to help you.” “Help me or I’ll burn them alive!” He warned and you looked at him and rolled your eyes before walking over and putting your hand out for them to come back to you. “I told you what the rules were.” You mumbled as they all moved towards you “you're the one that didn’t listen.” “I don’t listen to anyone, I do what I want.” Dabi answered, it almost reminded you of a petulant child talking to their younger sibling. “Were you an older brother at some point?” You asked “because you're acting like one.” “Whatever” he waved you off as the little gremling settled on your shoulder. “Just don’t do it again.” You ordered as you turned away from him and walked back to the bar where you had been before tickling and mumbling to your little man as you did. Dabi had to admit it was nice to have something around that wasn’t bothered by his heat.

Mr Compress

🔮 Compress wholeheartedly believed every word that you said and did nothing that was against the rules, in fact he was a little afraid of the creature given the way you made it sound 🔮 He liked you though so he spent a lot of time around him, he never really acknowledged the little man, figured that they could both just exist in the same space to make you happy. 🔮 You noticed his unease around you little man and so you never really left them alone together. 🔮 There was an incident that changed everything though, he had been sitting with you and you little guy climbed onto his shoulder and settled in for a nap.

You saw the moment he froze slightly waiting to see what would happen next “you can relax, he's just looking for somewhere to sleep.” You explained from you place next to him but when your words didn’t seem to be making a difference you sat up “I can move him if you want.” “No, no he’s fine.” He answered. “Are you sure?” You asked “if he’s bothering you I can move him.” “Bothering me?” Compress asked, turning his eyes to you “why would he be bothering me?” “When I was younger people didn’t like him very much, he only wanted someone to give him a hug.” You explained with a shrug “guess I’m just used to apologising for him.” “You have no need to apologise for him, he’s not bothering me, I was just worried that I would upset him.” He explained and your eyes widened. “Upset him, it’s impossible to do that as long as you follow the rules and don’t step on him.” You shrugged. “Hmm. We’ll see about that.” He mumbled as he shuffled into a more comfortable position.

Spinner

🦎 Spinner didn’t really care either way, he just respected the way that you wanted the addition to your quirk to be treated. 🦎 He honestly thought that he scared the little guy, considering he always chose the others, he very rarely came to Spinner. 🦎 You never really addressed it and he just assumed that was the way that he was going to be, he wasn’t too bothered, he liked the little guy but he grown up enough to know that he might want to be somewhere else. 🦎 That is until he wake up one day to you taking pictures of him.

“What are you doing?” He asked, you smiled as you turned the phone screen to him to show him the picture of you little mogwai nestled in his hair above his head. “He loves sleeping in your hair.” You mumbled as you looked at him, swiped the phone screen to show more pictures of different times when he had been napping and the little guy had settled down with him. “Thought he didn’t like me.” He mumbled lifting his hand to rub at his eyes. “Why wouldn’t he like you?” You asked and he shrugged. “I’m probably a little scary and I run colder than he would like.” Spinner answered, you looked at him and smiled. “You aren’t scary to him, I promise you that and as for the cold thing, your hair clearly keeps him warm enough.” You shrugged as you sat on the edge of the sofa he had been laying on, you watched as Spinner reached up and tickled the little guys head before taking in a deep breath. “He likes how calm you are, the others are a bit chaotic.” “Fair.” He answered softly before you both settled into comfortable conversation.

Twice

🎭 Twice forgot everything that you said after you stopped talking and you knew the moment that you got to know him that he didn’t do it on purpose. 🎭 You never left him alone with the little guy because you knew that he’d do something by accident and you didn’t want him to feel bad. 🎭 Twice was easily manipulated, you know that Dabi has tried to get him to break the rules because he thought it would be funny and you're watching him too closely now. 🎭 Your little guy knows that he doesn’t mean anything that he does or says and you can almost always find him clinging to Twice’s ankle.

“He’s so cute, no he’s not.” You giggled as you looked at Twice cradling the little gremling in his arms. “You think?” You asked. “I like him, no I don’t.” Twice answered as he passed the little one back to you. You had just found him sitting in the bar, Dabi was talking to him but abruptly stopped and walked away when you appeared on Twice’s other side. “What were you talking to Dabi about?” You asked. “Nothing, he wants us to bath the creature.” You rolled your eyes at the answer as you leaned on the bar. “You shouldn’t bathe him.” You said. “I remember!” Twice cheered “you told us before.” “You remember?” You asked. “Mhm, Toga helps me remember. Not that I need it.” He answered. “Right and the other two rules?” You asked. “Umm… None of your business.” He answered. “You don’t remember?” You asked. “No. Of course we do!” He mumbled. “Don’t feed him after midnight and keep him out of the bright light.” You supplied. “Right we won’t forget this time! We didn’t need your help.” Twice answered and you looked at the man and nodded. “Of course you didn’t.” You said softly.

Request Here!!

[therealeagal]

Rating Disney films

I'm waiting on an event that will occur in my approximate future, so while I wait I thought I would kill time with a rating of some Disney movies. What a lark! But before we begin:

Item: The scale will be F, D, C, B, A. Normally I would consider C to be the base starting point, but since Disney is a heartless mega-conglomerate that would sell orphan souls if they thought there was a market for it, I'm sorry to say that every film is automatically docked a point, so we're starting at D.

Item: I'm only going to cover the ones I've seen, and only the ones from pretty recently. The last ten years, let's say. Otherwise we'll be here all day and I probably will have got shit to do.

Ok, let's go.

Frozen. Elsa and Anna and their hangs-on that no one really cares about. Good music. Idina Menzel? Holy shit I got it right on the first try. Go me! Idina is a great singer, so that bumps Frozen up a notch. Great animation, except for that one bit during Let It Go where Elsa's ponytail phases through her arm, but I guess I'll...let it go. Eh? Eh? Come on admit it, that was funny. A dumb subversion of true love, but then an interesting subversion of the subversion so I'll give it a point. But then there's...everything else. Preventable conflict, forgettable everyone that isn't Elsa and Anna, stupid character decisions, a twist villain who has literally no reason to exist and who is not connected to the central conflict in any way whatsoever. It's the works. Also, I'm told there's some debate over whether the side character Oaken is married to a man or woman. The art style makes it hard to tell. Normally I'd give it a point but since this is Disney, I'm going to file that under "Gay reference so that Disney gets bonus points but it was super minor so that Disney can easily edit it out for international releases in countries that hate the LGBT community". Which loses it a point instead.

Final score: F. Oh yeah. Coming out of the gate swinging. I wonder how much hate I'll get for that.

Big Hero 6. Hiro Hamada and the rest. No musical numbers, but it does have Baymax and jokes about puberty, which are...funny I guess. I guess. It does have a twist villain, but that's a gimme. He's a supervillain. Would Norman Osbourn be half the villain without being the father of Peter Parker's best friend? It loses a point because Hiro's older brother was too good to deserve being Uncle Bened. I wish my brother was as cool as Tadashi was. And that he was also Uncle Bened. I'll trade my brother for superpowers. See if I won't.

Final score: B. SO close.

Zootopia. The furry movie. I saw it. It didn't turn me into a furry any more than 90 years of Mickey Mouse did. Maybe I oughta dock it a point for that. Good story, entertaining leads, entertaining side characters. Catchy music. But it had a twist villain. Get some new material, guys.

Final score: B. Almost got it.

Moana. Good movie. Good characters. Good music. Who knew Dwayne Johnson could sing? No twist villain. Actually, there's a twist hero. Double points for that.

Final score: A. Huzzah! We finally got an A!

Coco: Ah, Coco. Good movie. Good music. Good characters. I will dock a point for preventable conflict, but righting former wrongs makes up for it. Very heartwarming. Double points for heartwarming. Also, another M. Rivera journeys to the Land of the Dead in search of his ancestors. And Imelda is voiced by the same actress that did Manny Rivera. I wonder if that was intentional.

Final score: A.

Incredibles 2. The first Incredibles missed the cutoff. Oops. It's a sequel so...ehhhhh. Another twist villain, but it's a supervillain so normally it wouldn't count, but the villain has no personal connection to Helen and only second-hand connection to Bob, so fuck Screenslaver. Overall, doesn't really stand out.

Final score: D. Ehhhhhhhhhh...

Live Action Aladdin. An acquaintance of mine she got super thirsty over Mena Massoud, so I'll give him double points. Will Smith did...ok I guess. I guess. I liked Jasmine's new song tho.

Final score. Ehhhhhhh...I wanna give it a good score, but I really can't give it better than a C. I'm sorry Mena and Naomi! Forgive meeeeeeeeeeee!

Live Action The Lion King. Yeah...no...

Final score: F. Not even Beyonce could save it. I think I may have committed a crime against humanity by saying that...

Frozen II. A sequel...ehhhhh...good story I guess. I guess. Good music, I will concede. New characters are forgettable and Elsa didn't get a girlfriend. I don't think it had a real conflict? Question mark? Just righting past wrongs wasn't it? I forget. Assuming there were no villains, because otherwise I'd have to dock a point for forgettable villains.

Final score: C. +2 -1. Hey at least it's not an F. I wonder how much hate I'll get for rating the sequel higher.

Onward. Troll brothers, one's a nerd, the other's a slacker. It's actually quite good. Don't remember the music, so it doesn't get any points. It had a "token acknowledgement of a gay character that can be easily edited out for international" so that's a minus.

Final score:

Luca. Another good movie. Very heartwarming. There is some debate over whether this movie counts as "Young boys discovering their sexuality but only in the vaguest possible terms so that it can be easily rewritten for international" or just "Young friends that is only homoerotic if you squint and maybe audiences are reading a little too much into it". And I mean, I could see it. I'm not that good at squinting and I can see it. I'll give you that it's possible. I don't necessarily think it's probable, but I'll take the point anyway because Disney's not dumb, just evil. They knew.

Final score: B.

Ron's Gone Wrong. Being honest, I was totally unaware that this was Disney. I saw the dvd at Wal-Mart and thought it looked cute. Which it is. Very heartwarming friendship. And the kids that the kid wants to be friends with turn out to be good kids and not little shits at all.

Final score: B.

Encanto. Another good one. I have to dock it a point for more preventable conflict, but otherwise, great characters, great music, great story, great ending, great family. Great Scott, have we got another A?

Final score: Yep, it's an A.

Lightyear. Really? This is the movie that Andy saw? But this Buzz acts nothing like that Buzz! Twist villain, token acknowledgement of a gay character that can be easily edited out for international. I mean, I liked it. I like Buzz and I like Alisha and I like Izzy and I like Sox, but is that enough?

Final score: B. -3 +4. I preferred the animated series.

Strange World. Didn't finish it. Stopped halfway and got sidetracked by something else and never got around to picking it back up, but it does have a gay secondary character in the main character's son and I seem to recall he gets a recurring subplot about how fit the guy he likes is.

Final score: Ah heck, let's give it an A just because the gay character wasn't of the "easily edited out for international" variety.

Elemental. Loved this movie. Very heartwarming. I say that a lot. It's Disney. What do you expect? Technically it does have a preventable conflict, but the preventableness is central to the story, so that's a gimme.

Final score: A.

Wish: Bending the rules, because I haven't seen it but I hope to some time soon. I'll be optimistic and wish upon a star that this movie gets all the points.

Final final score: A. Huzzah!

In closing if you don't agree with my ratings, or with the reasons I have given for the ratings, you are, of course, entitled to your own opinions, but I don't want to hear it so find someone else to whinge at.

Please and thank you. :)

#disney #disney movies #frozen #frozen 2 #big hero 6 #luca #coco #moana #zootopia #elemental disney #wish disney #strange world #lightyear disney #encanto #ron's gone wrong #onward #live action aladdin #live action lion king

[pyreofsunflowers]

What I watched this week (3/6-3/12 '23)

Perfect Blue (1997, dir. Satoshi Kon)

I'm not saying anything new when I say I loved what a mindfuck this movie is. Truly a masterpiece in keeping you glued to the narrative and second guessing your own interpretation of the film.

It's really hard to talk about this movie without getting into really big spoiler territory but I'll do my best to describe why this film is such a masterpiece. Beyond the striking visuals and the intense score, Perfect Blue tackles the psyche of fame in a way I've never seen done before. It gets it so perfect, from the jealousy, the self loathing, to the wide variety of opinions of the public it paints a compelling picture of how fame literally, and figuratively traps one in it's web. Much like Mima, I constantly found myself backtracking and second guessing the films narrative, and ultimately the payoff left me with just the right amount of unanswered questions. I can't wait to re-watch and pick up on anything I may have missed.

5/5

Fallen Angels (1995, dir. Wong Kar-wai)

This!!! movie!!! is!!! so!!! sweet!!!! It's a movie about weirdos falling in love made for weirdos. The plot is just a loose thread that holds this bundle of joy and light against the grimey city underbelly together in the bestest of ways. This movie is ultimately about its characters, and for having so many different arcs going on all it once, it manages to give each one the right ammount of time to shine and grab onto my mind enough to leave a mark.

The theme of love and lonlieness permeates and saturates this film through the dark, intimate aesthetics and the bloody over the top gunfights and it makes it something special - and one of my favroites.

5/5

Escape From New York (1981, dir. John Carpenter)

Watching this movie as a metal gear solid fan is a trip, and probably contributed to 90% of my enjoyment of it. I know I know everyone has said it, "Snake plisken! snake plisken!" but there's more to it than that. The pacing, the plot structure, the elements of sci-fi all of it was used as a base in MGS and it's so cool to see it in it's original form!

Metal Gear references aside, Escape from New York is a solid sci fi action flick with good (albeit silly) worldbuilding and a solid, likeable cast of characters. I thought the movie lagged a little bit, but it made up for it in every other aspect - especially in it's action scenes.

4/5

Scream 3 + 4 (2000, 2011, dir. Wes Craven)

Oh scream, why does everyone love you? Honestly, am I just missing something with these movies? Is there some secret piece of knwoeldge I've glossed over? Or are people just stupid. I don't know. These movies are painfully boring and uninteresting people! The twists aren't fun, the gore is boring, the satire is blunt, and oh my god are the characters ever awful!

Look, I understand that looking for good characters in a Slasher is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, I understand that! But I'd forgive this movie if it didn't spend so much fucking time on them! I do not care about Sidney prescott. I do not care about Gale Weathers. I do not care about Dewey Riley. They are all fine as plot devices to keep the kills coming, but as these movies go on and on they become more and more about these people who I simply do not care about.

Scream 3: 1.5/5

Scream 4: 2/5

Scream + Scream 6 (2022, 20223 dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett)

Sadly, new directors couldn't fix this movie. They continue to perpetuate every flaw of the Craven films, and somehow manage to make them worse. The characters are just as flat, the movie is still way to long, and despite all the talk of "requels" , "elevated horror" and "reboots'' the satire continues to feel dated and overall blunt. I'm sorry, Scream franchise but saying something is a trope then doing it is neither funny or good satire.

I also personally find these two insulting as they try to knock sigh "whiney snowflake nerds with letterboxed" accounts down a peg for not enjoying.... shallow cashgrab franchise shlock? very strange angle for a satire to take but alright I guess. Also this film trys to tackle social media and. Just fails so horribly on it. At least 6 finally had some good kills.

Scream (2022): 0.5/5

Scream 6: 2/5

Better Call Saul S6 (2022, shrn.  Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. That is my emotions on the end of this show. OH MY GOD what a ride this series has been, did you know I actually started it to get some inspiration for a long abandonded fanfiction? because I did. And GOD am I ever glad I did because the payoff, the journey was incredible. I haven't been this nethralled by a TV show in perhaps ever. I was on the edge of my seat for the entirtiy of season 6, just waiting to see how it would all come crashing down and MY GOD did it ever.

It is so hard for me to be and speak normally about this show, in fact I don't think I could even if I tried so I'm just going to leave it at that. Until next week folks!

#Js film diary #cineblr #film #movies #movie review #horror movies #anime #forgein film #Fallen Angels #Scream #Ghostface #Perfect Blue #Better Call Saul #Breaking Bad #escape from new york

[talesfromsiteredacted]

List Of Resident Requests to Anomalous Enrichment

The dropbox and surveys have barely been open, and I'm swamped with ideas. Some are bad, some are good, some just make me wonder about who I work with. Here's the list so far, in no particular order. See who asked for what, if you feel brave.

A karaoke machine. Denied due to lack of vocal chords or a body 90% of the time.

Operation. Yes, the old tabletop game. Granted.

A 55 gallon fish tank, and supplies. Pending approval from Command.

An ice cream machine. (Trick entry, multiple suggestions on this one) Granted.

A huge screen tv, DVD player, and several monster movies. Denied on the grounds of encouraging bad behavior, at least the monster movies were.

A Ninja Warrior training course. Approved, merely for exercise purposes.

One of those stupid inflatable clown punching bag things. Granted.

A surfing trip to Hawaii. Granted, as entity is a Safe class.

An ice cream social for the kids and sentient non violent anomalies. Granted, locating supplies.

A shooting gallery, for bow shooting. Granted, with non lethal arrows.

Golf clubs. Granted. But... why?

Giant bounce house. Where the hells would we inflate it safely here? Denied.

Treasure hunt. Granted.

Glitter. Denied. Nice try, though.

A rubber chicken with squeaker. Granted.

A half dozen live ducks. Pending.

A flock of sheep, a pasture to graze them in, a nice little quiet hut nearby. Pending, but... sounds good to me, man.

Twelve dozen donuts. Granted, but not in one sitting.

Dance lessons. Granted, and I might just sign up too.

A literal buttload of red wine. Denied due to the no alcohol policy. Sorry. Besides, over 1300 gallons might be a bit much in one go.

Drawing tablet. Granted.

A rabbit. Granted.

A catnip mouse, new plush bed, and window perch. Granted, with laser pointer bonus.

A dartboard. Pending. Not sure we can trust the recipient with pointy objects, but... with good behavior it is possible.

Queen sized four post bed with curtains. Do they even make those still? Pending.

Giant chocolate donkey. Not sure where to even find a mold for that.

Rats. Denied.

An idiot from the Chaos Insurgency. Pending, next raid I promise.

Five minutes alone with Dr. Clef's ukulele. Denied, not worth the risk of 4 gage slug to my head. Sorry.

A cricket bat. Granted.

Wild strawberry plants. Granted, there's a ton around here.

Huge Snorlax plushie. Granted.

Full set of kitchen pots and pans, new kitchen, and "ingredients" for a gourmet dinner. Denied due to choice of protein.

Massive smoking apparatus in the guise of the Grim Reaper. Denied, but it looked badass. Policy is policy. Sorry.

Deep red corset dress. Granted, but... why? Corsets are painful.

Patent leather platform boots, blackest black. Granted. Nice choice.

A hammock. Granted.

A rock hammer. Denied to to weapon policy.

5 kites. Granted, go ahead and pick designs.

Cast iron clawfoot tub. Granted, pending plumbing install.

#scp foundation #tales from site redacted #anomalous enrichment department requests

[dirtj0b]

Just like, thinking about learning to interact with other people again after isolating myself for like five years. It's a long post and not important to anyone but me probably, so feel free to ignore it!

Hopefully this works, I'm so excited that they added an easier way to do the read more thing!! I like making long posts, but don't like making people read them.

Sooo... I work a job where I have very little interaction with other people, and it's graveyard shift. My bf doesn't like to interact with others either, so 90% of the time he and my room mate are the only people I interact with for extended periods in person.

This has been going on for about four years. I have pretty bad social anxiety as well, I'm literally afraid of people! I try really hard to move past it, but still... any time I have to talk to literally anyone, I am shaking and sweating and want to cry, even just ordering food or saying excuse me to move past someone. Can't even talk to my own mother without apologizing profusely and having a panic attack, it's bad.

This even extends to friends online! Or responding to things from people I don't know very well. I have a lot of trouble responding to comments on my tiktok, even though they're all super nice. I don't know why...

I used to go to karaoke and force myself to socialize and get up on stage. After I stopped working at the club, it became harder and harder to interact with people, and I learned that the only way to keep on top of the anxiety thing was forcing myself to do it in a fun setting. I dunno. But I wasn't able to do that anymore with my job, and a lot of my friends moving away...

I think, for one of my accommodations, I might ask if I can have one night off a month to go to karaoke with my sister, and see if it helps??

Anyway, the trip! I feel very spoiled. My mom, knowing I had these issues and needed a place to hide, got me my own room. I'm so thankful!!!! But I've been trying to hang out downstairs with everyone else as much as possible, because I missed my family.

I'm trying to also use this as an opportunity to re learn how to interact with other people. I've been talking to strangers and stuff. And you know what? For the most part, everyone has been super nice! Some people are mean, but... way more people are nice. It hurts when someone is short with me, but in such a large place with so many people, inevitably I talk to a nice person again in a few minutes.

I think it's helping! Last night, rather than hiding in my room, I stayed down with my family and watched movies and made stupid jokes. I feel annoying, and embarrassed, but I always do when I talk to literally anyone. I don't think I need to feel that way!

Another thing... I'm scared of children. I'm scared of like, everything! But the noises kids make hurt my ears, and they don't seem to give me any space when I need it.

BUT!! I've been interacting with my nephews a lot during the trip, and it's going well!! Actually, the older one (10?) gave me a little pep talk... they were trying to teach me to play four square, but I kept messing up and apologizing. I didn't know what I was doing, and I felt like I was ruining the game by not catching on fast enough.

Everyone else was kind of like ughhh and stepped away (I'm sorry ;~; ) and my nephew came up and was like, "you don't have to apologize so much, it's just a game. When you're going 'I'm sorry I'm sorry and then say 'I'm having fun, I promise!' I feel like I'm holding you at gun point or something" so we talked about it, oof haha.

I think me apologizing a lot and then trying to explain my issues to people is very off putting to them. I do it trying to be less awkward, but it only makes it worse I think! I am going to try to stop doing it, and see how it goes.

The apologizing thing is going to be really hard. I've done it my whole life!

My childhood was a bit rough, so I had to apologize a lot, and it stuck around when I got older. I have wanted to stop for years, no one likes it, but I just have this constant feeling that I'm doing something wrong when I interact with others. I can't shake it, so I have to actively force myself to not apologize and it's very difficult.

It ends up being a cycle I can't break out of, because if I don't apologize my brain goes "oh wow I'm so unapologetically annoying they'll hate me" but if I do apologize it adds friction to the interaction (and is probably uncomfortable for the other person!)

I'm making an effort now to not do it so much, even though I feel so painfully irritating. I don't know. This is going to be hard. How can I know I'm not making anyone angry?? I'm scared! But I have to try, because apologizing and explaining why I'm acting weird is so not working. I just want to interact normally, without feeling awful and embarrassed afterward.

I joined a voice chat with my friends the night before last and tried not to apologize a bunch, but I felt weird anyway. I ended up nodding off and left the call, but I was more embarrassed about just... joining in the first place even though they're my friends and they were nice to me. No one did anything to make me feel that way, I just always feel like that when I talk to anyone. Even my boyfriend, actually!

I feel like a Sim and every time I have a social interaction we both get a lil red - mark, ugh.

Anyway... I messaged my bf and asked if he wanted to talk on the phone today because I miss him, and he said he would let me know when he was able to talk. I suspect probably we will not get to talk in the phone during this trip. I'm sad about it, but I'm thankful he's messaging me!

YES I know I sound pathetic and shit, but listen. I'm trying my best to heal and improve, okay? I'm doing my absolute best. This is all I have! I don't want to spend my life too afraid to be around people. I'm lonely and I want to enjoy being around my friends and family instead of being afraid of them.

Everyone is trying so hard to include me, I don't want to let them down either. If I apologize and seem sad the whole time, they'll think I'm not having any fun, but I am!! I'm so fucking happy to be here, I'm so happy that despite everything they still invited me and wanted me to come. I'm thrilled that they're trying so hard to include me even though I make it difficult!!

I'm so absolutely lucky to have people in my life who love me despite my issues, and who know I can be better and fun to be around even though I'm all weepy and shit.

I'm going to make a second post about the how trip itself so far, but this stuff is a big deal to me... I just want everyone to know I'm trying!!

#dunno if I'll delete later or not!

[hiccanna-tidbits]

HICCANNA MONTH WEEK 2, DAY 2 - WAYS TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”: LOUD, SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR COLLEGE AU

*Collapses into exhausted heap* IT’S DONE IT’S DONE IT’S BARELY IN TIME FOR THE END OF HICCANNA MONTH BUT IT’S DONE

Y’all git HYPED, because this is my first-ever crack at Established Relationship Hiccanna!!! Get ready for some of that sweet sweet “Anna is insecure about ‘not standing out’ in any super obvious way but Hiccup reassures her in the most blunt but effective way possible” trope that I’ve been meaning to really delve into since forever :D I love how he’d be really calm and patient with her when she needs it but also would straight up say “Uhhhh that’s bullshit???” when she starts talking bad about herself. Like YES king say it how it IS :O He’s also just. Genuinely confused, like??? HOW is it possible for people see his girlfriend as any less awesome than he sees her??? Including (and ESPECIALLY) his girlfriend herself??? Like it straight up Does Not Compute, Hiccup.exe has stopped working, please try again later

Yes, Insecure Anna is just as worthy of love as Confident and Self-Assured Anna and if anyone wants to dispute this and act like she doesn’t “deserve” Hiccup because she hasn’t totally conquered her self-loathing tendencies yet (but she’s working on it!!!) then I will throw ALL the hands with you I stg

Fair warning that this ended up being a shamelessly self-indulgent, projection-filled ventfic, because I needed an avenue through which to bitch about a very specific issue XD Anyways, to all the girlies who have ever sat in awkward, uncomfortable silence while your friends all talk super excitedly about some piece of media you’ve never seen/weren’t that into and you feel like you have nothing to add and also your friends aren’t bothering to bring you into the conversation...this one’s for you!!! :D

Also, not me using Anna to deal with my ADHD issues again XD Sadly, that classic shit attention span extends to literally everything, not just boring and lame school and work stuff. I can zone out during practically anything, even the most interesting movie/show/RPG game. Like I’m not bored, my brain just needed a smoke break and now all my friends are gonna think I’m stupid af for it ^^; Fun times! Also not me writing Hiccup reassuring Anna the same way I wish someone would reassure me--

Apologies in advance for potentially OOC Jack...I needed someone for Anna to squabble with a bit, so I upped his Little Shit tendencies just a bit XD In my defense, I DO think given whatever the Modern AU equivalent of “300 years of loneliness” is (probably something mental illness related), Jack would be drawn to more dark, “broody” media because he would feel like it better reflected his experiences. Anna, meanwhile, is like “To hell with this bleak grimdark shit, why would I watch something that just makes me even more miserable???” I do have them bicker a little For The Drama, but it’s mostly all in good fun XD

Not me writing fics set in winter/involving snow in some way to combat the horrible heat wave I’ve been getting where I live XD Physically I am braving 90+ degree weather, but mentally I am rolling around in a snowdrift.

Fic under the cut!!!

***

9:40 pm. The numbers briefly light up Anna’s phone screen as a text from Elsa slides in.

Sorry I couldn’t make it tonight. Hope you’re having fun!

Anna twirls another mozzarella stick through her marinara sauce, watching the viscous red liquid seep into the gaps in the crumbly, golden-orange crust. With a little imagination, it could be a very crispy, basil-speckled submarine being sucked into a massive blood whirlpool. Now that’s a movie she would see—provided the blood looks fake enough, anyways. (She does not go to the cinema to get nauseous and uneasy, thank you very much—school does that plenty enough as it is.)

She is having fun. She’s having immense fun. How could she not be? She’s eating delicious empty calories, she’s surrounded by her best friends, and Hiccup is turning 19 in about an hour and a half. She’s at her best friend’s—pardon her, her new boyfriend’s—birthday outing and she is having the time of her life.

Or at least she should be.

It was an event they had all been planning for months. The new sci-fi thriller, Cold Life, was all Hiccup could talk about. An ambitious project based on a comic book series Anna had never heard of (as so many sci-fi thrillers were), the plot centered around a ragtag group of time travelers trying to prevent the heat death of the multiverse while also not causing too many timeline overlaps and unraveling reality. So you know. Very low stakes.

They made a movie night out of it, buying tickets a week in advance and surprising Hiccup with reserved seats in the back of an iMax theater. They bustled their way in and paired off, as they so often did, organizing by who was most comfortable whispering and joking under their breath to who. Anna watched the movie eating popcorn with one hand and holding Hiccup’s with the other (she’s still getting used to being allowed to do that), and now she’s sitting in a sparkly blue plastic diner booth, delicately picking at her food in such a way to make it last as long as possible.

It isn’t that she���s not hungry. She’s always some degree of hungry. In a world where she was her most authentic self, the chicken Florentine panini, the mozzarella stick appetizer, the onion rings, and the honey mustard sauce would be gone within minutes of being delivered. The reason they are all still on her plate in some capacity is because they’re keeping her busy enough to not look…

Well, busy enough to not look like she shouldn’t be there.

She looks up for the first time in a while, tearing off the end of the marinara-soaked cheese strip as she scans the diner booth. The lively conversations—the same type that usually give her some degree of comfort and belonging—are starting to agitate her.

They shouldn’t be. The topics are innocent enough. Merida and Astrid are raving about how epic the movie’s fight choreography was, occasionally ripping off pieces of honey chipotle wings with their teeth for emphasis. Rapunzel and Moana are wrapped up in an animated discussion about all sorts of visual imagery and motifs and other such things, trying to meander their way toward a conclusion about the meaning of the recurring pink glow on the horizon. Flynn and the twins are rating the explosions (of which there were many, despite explosions being impossible in the oxygen-devoid environment of outer space) with a surprising amount of thought. Mavis is spearheading a deep dive with Tooth and Johnny into the psyche of a character Anna found rather irritating. Finally, next to Anna, Hiccup and Jack are arguing over themes, and whether Cold Life is making a statement for or against the idea of inevitability.

Usually when they go out with friends like this, one of Hiccup’s hands is always reserved for Anna to hold. They’re still getting used to being together, and sometimes Anna (or both of them, for all she knows) needs a reminder it’s real. For years and years it was only ever friends—Anna gazing longingly when his back was turned, drawing hearts around their names in her notebook margin and covering them up when anyone looked. Wondering how he’d feel wrapped around her, or pressed up against her while they slept. Daydreaming about flooding his locker with candy boxes on valentine’s day. She’s still in shock from bumbling her sorry way through asking him out and him actually saying yes.

Yeah, I’ll go see Black Hole Tyrannosaur with you. You want to grab ice cream afterwards? Absolutely fucking surreal.

Black Hole Tyrannosaur, for what it’s worth, was very good. The concept of going through a wormhole and finding a planet containing several extinct animals who had fallen through gaps in space-time sounded ridiculous, but the practical effects were solid and the characters funny enough to make it a delightful ride.

They’d held hands across the seat, sprouting a tradition of linking one pair of hands and using the other to share popcorn. Anna glances at Hiccup’s hands now, one making slicing motions to indicate how distinctly the movie laid out that butterfly effect-style change is always possible and the other clutching the side of his head the way it always did when he was frustrated.

Usually he can convey his points well enough with one-handed gestures, but today is his birthday. He deserves to utilize the full power of elaborate, sweeping hand motions to discuss Cold Life. She’ll let the hand-holding rule slide, if only for one day.

Anna takes a long sip of the cookies and cream milkshake she and Hiccup are sharing, and feels a deep pit start to settle in her stomach.

It isn’t that she didn’t like the movie. It had some interesting concepts, and it entertained her well enough. She rarely got bored, per se.

It’s just that it’s one of those movies where you have to have your whole brain turned on. Whirring at 100% capacity the entire time, or you’ll miss about 16 important details. And then later details build off those details, and later details build off those ones. It’s an endless cycle of “if you zone out for a few minutes, you’re fucked.” And then when you try to play mental catch-up, you miss yet another plot-relevant piece of info.

Hiccup loves this kind of stuff. He loves sinking his fingers into complicated things and picking them apart to see how they work. He has an eye for detail that she could never dream of, and a knack for piecing them together like some kind of mental jigsaw puzzle. He’s probably the smartest person she knows. (Still a little shocking to her that he found her to be anywhere near his supreme Level of Brain.)

It's not that Anna isn’t smart. She can usually follow Hiccup fine when they’re chatting about this or that or the other, discussing pressing concerns like the future of AI or whether single-biome planets like the ones in Star Wars could actually exist. Not to mention she’s beaten him in chess. Several times.

It’s just that her brain is constantly running on full power mode. It’s the only way to keep up with her classes, no matter how wired and anxious it leaves her 24/7. And nowadays, even during what’s technically her downtime, her poor brain is spluttering and overheating like a computer that no one ever shuts down.

She couldn’t keep it on full power for an entire 2 and a half hour film even if she wanted to. It always flutters away mid-movie, demanding rest and leaving her at the mercy of shallow, mediocre movie takes developed by an Anna Runeardsen only half there.

And now, between her failure to keep track of Cold Life’s many timelines, her merciless confusion at the vague symbolism, and her frustration with mean characters everyone else seemed to think were fascinating and deep, Anna suspects she arrived at a very surface-level and mediocre take indeed. From what she overhears of the babble around her, she wouldn’t have anything to add—or worse, would cause a stir by accidentally disagreeing with something everyone else is in solid accord about.

All right, no more lying to herself. This sucks. Never in her life has she felt so painfully boring.

She considers trying to butt into Flynn and the twins’ conversation—how hard could it be to have a discussion about explosions? When she checks on them again, though, they’re packing up. From what Anna overhears, Flynn is apparently taking Ruffnut and Tuffnut to some monster truck show, so they can’t stay all night.

Do they even have monster truck shows in this city? If they do, Anna sure wasn’t aware. She wonders if the three of them are bored and faking an excuse to leave, although Ruffnut’s enthusiastic speculation about which unlucky car would be crushed the flattest seems to indicate otherwise.

Anna scans the table again, assessing her remaining options. Rapunzel and Moana have moved on to talking about some weird little piano leitmotif Anna completely missed. Mavis’s miniature discussion circle is now analyzing the main love interest, a rather nasty woman who used her tragic backstory of finding out she was an “accident” and her general bitterness over being infertile as justification to implode an entire timeline.

Her eyes pause on Jack and Hiccup, now discussing the “brilliance” of the ending. Though they seem to be disagreeing over what details they did and didn’t like, the general consensus was that the entire finale was very, very good.

Jack is being particularly insufferable about it, seemingly incapable of shutting up about what a mad genius Directorman Whatshisface is. During his spiel, he seems to be on a mission to dip his fries in every available substance on the table—honey mustard, ketchup, Merida’s chipotle aioli, Hiccup’s side of Ranch, the table sugar jar, someone’s abandoned spare BBQ sauce, Hiccup’s soda, Merida’s lemonade, his own mint chocolate shake. He barely seems fazed by even the most disturbing of combinations.

“Hey Jack,” Anna pipes up. “Which one tastes the best?”

“Huh?” He looks at her, blinking in confusion before he realizes what he’s subconsciously been doing.

“The ranch,” he says cheekily. “No question.”

And just like that, he’s back to gushing about the poetic cinema of the last 20 minutes of Cold Life. So much for getting him to change the subject to something she could talk about without making an idiot of herself.

“Okay, yeah, yeah, I get it, you think it’s brilliant that all their efforts were for nothing. I want to hear what Anna thought.”

Anna isn’t sure how long Jack has been going on when she hears Hiccup say her name. “Huh?”

Hiccup turns and smiles at her. “I want your input. I know those like…hopeless, depressing endings movies do sometimes aren’t your cup of tea, so I was wondering how this one fared.”

Anna blinks, eyes widening with shock. “You remembered?”

“Uh, I’m in love with you?” He looks at her like she’s completely lost her marbles. “Of course I remembered.”

Anna’s entire face grows hot, probably turning redder than the marinara sauce.

It isn’t like they haven’t exchanged “I love you”s. They’re six months in. Anna dropped an “I love you” after four (although rest assured, she knew long before they started dating—she just didn’t want to scare the poor boy off right after she somehow managed to woo him. Somehow.). He said it back after only a little contemplation (which she considered a win, from the guy who overanalyzes everything), soft and slow under a blanket fort. They’d been huddling for warmth and telling ghost stories, and when Anna accidentally came up with one so alarming she freaked herself out, she took a break from the spooky tale marathon to confess her undying love.

So yes. Factually speaking, he loves her. She loves him. It has been stated aloud many, many times at this point. Not exactly a surprise.

But every time he says it, it still feels like one.

Maybe it’s because she still, even after all this time, worries she doesn’t deserve it. Maybe it’s because she’s not used to people loving her and being so upfront and straightforward about it. Maybe it’s because the mere concept of someone she loves reciprocating the sentiment with equal or greater intensity will never not shock her.

Anna has never had reason to hold a particularly high opinion of herself. The idea of anyone thinking so much of her is still a little hard to grasp.

She’s never been first-in-line for anyone’s heart, or been anyone’s top choice. But now, with Hiccup looking at her like that, she can believe she’s his.

He isn’t exactly talking quietly, either. Hiccup has never been particularly loud—much to the chagrin of many of his more rowdy, boisterous family members, who always complain he’s no fun at parties. While not exactly soft-spoken, he didn’t often care to raise his voice and preferred a tone that could devolve into inconspicuous mutters if needed. Generally speaking, Hiccup cared quite a bit more about the cleverness of the things he said rather than the volume at which he said them.

And yet here he is, announcing that he’s in love with her so noisily that several of their friends look up in surprise. His enunciation leaves no room for argument, either—the oft-present incoherent mumbles and splutters have apparently gone on sabbatical.

He’s speaking with an open confidence Anna doesn’t often hear.

“I mean…I, uh…”

Anna isn’t so lucky.

“Good, right?” Jack cuts her off, mouth full of French fry, before she can stumble very far. “There’s something so beautifully ironic about them ripping themselves apart hopping between universes and sacrificing their own timeline versions of themselves…and then their plan still doesn’t work. And for a second there, you really thought everything was going to be fine! Like the way they set it up to trick you was brilliant—”

“I don’t necessarily think—”

As usual, it’s difficult to get a word in edgewise once Jack is off on a rant. “Kinda underlies this idea that you can try really, really hard, and still fail. That people with the best intentions can do everything right and still get fucked over. Like, that’s just life, you know?” He punctuates the statement with a bite of an onion ring dipped in tabasco sauce.

Anna frowns. “That doesn’t really—”

“And the twist of the heroes being punished when they fucked up, but the villains ultimately getting rewarded? Solid.” The bite of onion ring is not nearly long enough to slow Jack down. “I never see movies ballsy enough to flat-out show that evil rich people can buy their way out of trouble. At least not without some kind of ‘karma’ coming for them. Which it doesn’t in the real world, since karma isn’t really a thing.”

“Seems a little bleak, don’t you think?” By some miracle, Hiccup manages to cut in. “This idea that any efforts to spearhead positive change in society are ultimately doomed.”

“That’s not really the point, though. It’s more about how all societies will eventually end, and trying to prolong the inevitable is a waste of your own existence—”

“Will they, though?” Hiccup interrupts Jack a little more boldly as they fall into their usual movie-arguing rhythm. “I mean, no future time travelers have come from the end of the universe and told us for sure.”

“It’s likely.” Jack takes a noisy sip of his green-and-brown milkshake. “Entropy ultimately prevails and all that.”

“But there’s no point.” Anna finds herself shoving her way in before she can second-guess it. “I mean, like…what’s the purpose of showing us a story where nothing gets accomplished in the end? What am I supposed to take away from that?”

For a moment, Jack looks surprised before the usual air of self-assurance returns. “No, no, I think you’re misunderstanding,” he says around a mouthful of fry. “There’s not supposed to be a point for the characters. The point for us is that there’s no point for them. It’s kind of showing how everything we do is meaningless in the face of a cold, uncaring universe.” He grins, like he just put in the last piece of a particularly tricky jigsaw puzzle.

Ah, so this is the answer that she’s been missing for so long. Complete and utter nihilism.

“You seem oddly sanguine about all this,” Hiccup notes. Jack only smirks, raising his milkshake like he’s making a toast.

“What can I say? I’m just speaking the facts.”

Anna felt one hand clench into a fist under the table, the other starting to whittle away at the wood beside her placemat with green fingernails. It’s hard to tell if he’s actually that smug, or if he’s just trying to get a rise out of her. Maybe both.

Probably the latter. He’s not above causing a stir to get the attention on him. She’s not so different from him that way—dismissed and overlooked for much of her life, always wanting to be seen.

Still, there are other ways to go about it without talking over her. Or her boyfriend, for that matter.

“I guess you aren’t wrong,” Hiccup says, though he sounds resigned.

Jack looks briefly appalled that that was even considered a possibility. “Psh. Of course I’m not. Seriously great ending, though. I was more impressed than I’ve been in a while.”

“Yeah, kept you on your toes.” Hiccup doesn’t sound quite as enthusiastic as before. “Certainly couldn’t say it’s predictable, that’s for sure.”

“Really subverted all the stuff you—”

“Well, I thought the ending was stupid.”

She surprises herself with how ferocious she sounds.

As so often occurs, the entire table happens to go quiet the second she calls attention to herself.  Her friends all turn to stare, and she suddenly wonders if she’s made a grave mistake.

Maybe she should take it back. Force an anxious laugh, say she was kidding. Let Jack have his fifteen minutes of movie analysis fame while she goes back to hiding behind the remains of her panini. Maybe she shouldn’t stir up controversy and strife at her very own boyfriend’s birthday outing.

Then something warm settles over her fingers, still digging nervous trenches in the wooden table. She feels a thick hand curl around her own, and some of the tension trickles down her back and out of her body.

A couple quick squeezes, subtle but unmistakable. It’s a small gesture, but Anna knows exactly what it means.

I’ve got your back.

He’s taken to doing it when the old, rusty metaphorical springs that make up her body get coiled a bit too tight. It helps drain out the worst of the anxiety, social or otherwise, and get her bent back into place.

She glances up. Hiccup is giving her a soft look, encouraging and perhaps even a little…eager.

Right. He’s in love with her. He’s probably not lying about that. If he’s in love with her, he’ll probably want to hear her opinions. That logically tracks, right?

He gives her a small nod, as if to say go on.

And so she does. No turning back now—she has to commit to the bit, at least.

“So nothing they do will ever be able to save the multiverse.” She crosses her arms. “They try, and they fail, and they go back in time, and they try, and they fail again, and they keep doing that until they dissolve into the space-time continuum and cease to be, blah blah blah. It’s boring. It’s the same objective with the same result every single time.”

“Well, yeah, but the thing that makes it entertaining is the variety of ways in which they fuck up.” Jack smirks.

“Sure, the first few times. Then eventually it’s like…okay, is this going anywhere? Is it gonna show me some epic thing that makes all of this worth spending three hours getting my brain sliced up and handed to me? And then, to top it all off, you get Clinical Depression: Movie Finale Edition!”

She spreads her hands wide as she says it, mouth hanging open in mock wonder.

“I still don’t think you’re getting it.” Jack’s smirk turns to a frown. “It’s not really about some big dramatic reveal. In the real world, you don’t always get to know the how or the why of things. They just happen.”

There’s a note of bitterness in his voice, like he has quite a few of his own unanswered questions. A predicament that apparently he wants to see reflected in media everywhere so as to not feel alone.

Anna almost feels sorry for him until he continues talking.

“I mean…come on. Not every ending can be this cheerful ‘friendship and teamwork save the day’ thing. Anyways, it wouldn’t make sense for the story. If you pay attention to the plot structure, like Hiccup was saying earlier, it’s more narratively satisfying to end on a bleak note.” Jack sips his milkshake smugly before popping another handful of fries in his mouth. Hiccup looks away, eyeing the table guiltily. “Honestly, I think more movies could use endings where—”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Jack.”

Jack freezes mid-chew, the end of a French fry poking from his lips. The entire table turns to stare at Anna again.

She glances over the shocked faces of her friends, suddenly feeling mortified. Jack looks like he got smacked with a mallet.

“Oh, gosh.” She shrinks back into her seat, studying the few bites left of her panini. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. Geez. That was so rude, I—”

“Are you kidding?!” Hiccup’s voice cuts in, and a hearty hand slaps her back. “Annihilate him, babe.”

She looks up to see the shock has faded from Jack’s eyes to be replaced with…an almost playful glint. He’s not mad, she realizes. Not even annoyed. More intrigued than anything.

He’s challenging her. Which is good, as he is, from this moment forward, essentially consenting to being annihilated.

“I can’t deal with you right now.” She leans back in her seat, letting out the most exaggerated groan possible. “You’re so ridiculous. ‘Ooooooh, look at me, I’m such a deep and profound movie where everything sucks and nothing gets any better! I’m gonna win an Oscar because the movie awards committee loves pain and suffering and they think the only way to be respectable is to wallow in your own sadness and misery!’ Give me a fucking break. You think I need to be told by some...brainscrewey movie that sometimes things go to shit?! My life has been going to shit for years. And I don’t think I’m the only one. I mean…we’re all kind of fucked, right? Not like our majors are gonna make us more than pennies.”

She looks around at her friends, all studying liberal arts or humanities or whatever other field that was absolutely not hiring. Hiccup was maybe the only exception, with his path toward an engineering bachelor’s.

They stare back at her, eyes growing even wider. Apparently the perpetual optimist talking with absolutely 0 filter whatsoever isn’t something you see every day.

“The Adderall doesn’t always work, y’know.” She knows she’s oversharing now, but she doesn’t care. “Neither does the Zoloft. Or whatever else I try. I’m panickey, I’m stressed all the time, I pretend I have a promising future to keep myself sane but I really, really don’t. I see the world and the economy and the environment and all this stuff like…falling apart around us, and I need to delude myself into believing maybe everything’s going to be okay or I’ll lose it. And you think a movie about people giving their all to prevent a disaster and failing miserably every time is what anyone needs?!”

There’s a short pause before Jack speaks up again, this time lifting a finger insightfully.

“But narratively speaking—”

“Well, fuck the narrative!” Anna starts frantically waving her hands around, copying Hiccup’s over-the-top gestures in her desperation to get her point across. “Maybe if its message is this shitty ‘nothing you do will ever matter’ thing, then the narrative is what needs to change, not get an equally-shitty ending to go with it. I mean, last I checked, people watch movies for fun, and like…who enjoys feeling hopeless, crushing despair?! How am I supposed to leave a movie theater feeling satisfied and like…generally okay about the state of the world when none of the good guys get a happy ending, and they all died for nothing?”

“Arlin got a happy ending—”

“Fuck her too!” Before Anna knows it, she’s picking up an onion ring drenched in honey mustard and chucking it across the table. Drops of yellow goo fly onto her friends’ faces, and the fried vegetable lands on Jack’s cheek with a wet splat. He peels it off his face, eyeing it with distaste.

“She’s the worst,” Anna goes on emphatically. “Look, we all have problems, but you don’t see me going around and destroying timelines over it. Sorry, but I’d be different. Also, can we talk about how sexist it is that only the ‘traditional’ lady who wants babies gets a happy ending?! Bet they thought I wouldn’t notice that. Ha!” She smirks triumphantly, ripping off a piece of a mozzarella stick. “I see how it is. They think the one who wants to be a mom is the pure and virtuous and innocent one by default, so she’s the one who gets to live. But I see right through their bullshit, and I think Karis and Suret should have lived! Everyone else can die, I guess, if the plot really needs them to, but give us someone to root for, you know?”

Hiccup whistles, nudging Anna playfully. “That’s my girl!”

Anna gives him a sidelong glance, sure she’s blushing an embarrassing amount. “I’m your girl?”

He blinks. “I’d think so, unless you’re only dating me as a friend. In which case it might be necessary for us to have a talk about the nature of our relationship.”

“Did Arlin get a happy ending, though?” Moana asks. “I mean, she got stuck in that eternal time loop. And wasn’t the implication it was just a fake dream dimension?”

Rapunzel is temporarily distracted from their conversation, watching Jack with Merida and Astrid in a sort of morbid fascination. He pops the earlier-chucked onion ring in his mouth before beginning an elaborate routine to lick up the honey mustard splashed across his cheeks.

Anna shrugs. “Happy comparatively. It was still better than what everyone else got.”

“She had growth, though, man,” Johnny pipes up. Casual but insistent, in the way he has a habit of being. “At least she’s less of a jerk than she was in the beginning. So she kinda deserves it.”

“And Arlin’s psyche is so interesting!” Mavis stretches out her fingers, grinning. “Like…why did she feel so incomplete without kids? She was super well-loved by everyone for like…her whole life, so it’s not like she didn’t have a support system. And she was smart enough and rich enough to basically become whatever she wanted, so…why was she gunning so hard for her own kids? I mean, she could’ve easily been a pediatrician or a teacher or a social worker or something, if she wanted them around so badly. But she was so insistent on being a mom, so like…what is her deal?”

Before she can stop herself, Anna lets out a puff of frustration. “To be honest, it was hard for me to care when she spent most of her screentime being an asshole. Like, I know ‘unlikable main characters’ are the new fad or whatever, but they’re just…draining to watch.”

Mavis gives her a puzzled look. “Really? I love picking them apart. Trying to figure out how they work.” Johnny and Tooth nod emphatically.

Anna frowns. “So you don’t ever get like…aggravated, having to see somebody be a huge jerk over and over?”

Tooth shakes her head, rainbow-dyed hair forming a bright blur around the dark skin of her face. “Not if it’s fiction, no. I mean I would assume any reasonable person would know not to emulate that kind of thing, right?”

“But it’s not like…disheartening?”

Johnny shrugs. “Honestly makes me appreciate real actual nice people more.”

She hears a shifting in the chair next to her, and glances over to see Hiccup turning back toward them. For a time, it seems he was distracted by Jack’s show. The other boy has, to the best of his ability, cleaned the honey mustard off his face, and is now sipping his milkshake and watching Anna—the contrarian of the day, apparently—with great interest.

Hiccup opens his mouth to speak, and Anna preemptively winces. She can only imagine how inane and childish the love of her life will find her views on unlikable characters. Honestly, if this many people are looking at her like she’s nuts, she probably deserves for him to make a snide comment—

“Anything else I can get for you kids? A dessert, maybe?”

A new voice interrupts before Hiccup can realize Anna’s movie takes are probably horrendously wrong. Their waitress is standing by the booth, notepad in hand.

“Oh! Ah—” Hiccup looks down at his lap nervously, and Anna sees his eyes drift to the wallet in his back pocket. His brow creases, a note of sadness drifting onto his face.

She knows what he’s thinking. Even before they started going out, it became second nature for her to tell.

He thinks he can’t afford this.

They’re all broke college students, some more comfortable asking their parents for handouts than others. Hiccup’s the stingiest with money, with his need to prove to his dad he’s independent ensuring he spends nearly every spare moment working on-campus jobs and every paycheck only on rent and essentials. He doesn’t have much left over on less than minimum wage.

But it’s also his birthday.

“Oh—oh no, I think we’ll be okay—”

“I’ve got it.” Anna pulls out her duck-shaped purse and nearly slams it down on the table. “Are you still doing the February special? The one where you sub out chocolate ice cream for strawberry and you get a discount?”

She read about it online when they first picked the place. Something to do with having leftover strawberry-flavored stuff from not as many people ordering Valentine’s desserts as the diner planned, Anna guesses. Today’s technically the first day of March, since Hiccup’s “actual” birthday comes only once every 4 years, but perhaps it’s close enough.

The waitress nods, and Anna launches into the dessert order.

“Can we get a banana split? February special, so two strawberry scoops and a vanilla scoop. Extra caramel and hot fudge sauce. Oh! And, uh…I don’t know if pineapple’s in season this time of year, but if you have any…could you sprinkle a bit on the top?”

After the waitress leaves, Anna turns to see Hiccup gawking at her. “What?”

“I love you.”

He says it with so much force that Anna’s surprised the table doesn’t shake. Several of their friends smirk, and Anna feels her cheeks burn.

“Oh, stop it.” She rolls her eyes, smiling nervously. “It’s your birthday! You deserve nice things.”

“But…that thing costs like $10!” he spluttered, waving his hands around. “Plus tax! And…you remembered I like caramel sauce?”

It’s her turn to stare at him like he’s been claimed by insanity. “I’m in love with you? Duh.”

He dissolves into incoherent stutters, blushing like a madman, and Anna smirks triumphantly.

If her doing a nice gesture can evaporate his dignity this quickly, then perhaps he isn’t exaggerating about the high regard he views her in.

“But back to Arlin,” she says, sitting up a little straighter. “Was it just me or was the scene where she goes on and on to Cyndilla about how she wants a baby completely out of nowhere? It was so annoying—”

“You sure you’re not just projecting because you don’t want any babies?” Jack asks, cutting her off as he slurps annoyingly at his milkshake.

Anna narrows her eyes. “Say that again and I’ll use you as a projectile missile.”

Merida snorts out a laugh, giving Anna an approving nod across the table. “Drag him, lass! Ah swear, someone’s got tae.”

***

It’s snowing when they walk out into the parking lot.

Hiccup shivers, mouth no doubt still feeling the last traces of his birthday sundae. Smiling softly, Anna takes off her puffy magenta jacket and slips it over his shoulders. No trouble getting those skinny arms in the sleeves, though the bottom of the coat hangs a ways above his waist.

He frowns at her. “But aren’t you gonna—”

She pats his arm. “You ate ice cream. You need it more.”

The group is starting to disperse across the curb, finishing up conversations and texting their older friends for rides. No one, save maybe Jack and Rapunzel, seems keen to walk back to the dorms in the snow.

Elsa’s coming to pick Anna up soon. To what Anna’s sure would be the shock of her earlier self, she feels a prick of disappointment. She doesn’t want the night to end.

“I agree with you, by the way,” she murmurs, looping her arms around her boyfriend’s neck. “I think it was pro-inevitability—the movie, I mean. Nothing in the greater timeline changed in any meaningful way—nothing that I noticed, anyhow.”

“Ha!” Hiccup scoffs triumphantly as he wraps an arm around her waist. “I knew it. Jack’s an idiot.”

“But…” She slides a hand into his thick hair, starting to twirl stands around her finger in little circlets. “I also think its entire statement on inevitability was complete bullshit.”

He looks taken aback, leaning away from her. This only presses him farther into her massaging fingers. “What? Really?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” She snickers. “Nothing is inevitable. There’s so many of these like…” She shakes her head. “Chaotic…chance…equation things I could never hope to understand that determine the probability of everything. And as I do understand it, they have to line up just so for literally anything to happen. Saying any cause will only ever produce one specific effect no matter what, and no matter if new outside stuff crops up and complicates everything—which it inevitably will, by the way, because random unexpected shit is always happening—seems…pretty improbable to me? Like, saying you can’t avoid a certain thing when there’s so many factors that have to work together to lead to any like…event…thing, and there’s like a billion other slightly and largely-varying event kinda things possible, acting like one is all special-weshial and can’t be altered no matter what seems kinda stupid.”

“So you’re saying…nothing is inevitable?”

“Yup. Same way nothing is certain-certain.”

“Oh? So not even us falling madly in love?”

Anna scowls at him as her cheeks begin to burn. “Okay, first of all, stop trying to be cute when I’m getting a point across. Second of all, especially that.”

She snorts mockingly, and Hiccup raises an eyebrow. “Care to elaborate? I mean…I had a crush on you for ages. You liked me even longer. Why wouldn’t we have gotten together?”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh, we had all kinds of things working against us. You were so dead convinced I was out of your league for some reason, and I was terrified you’d friendzone me and it would like…totally ruin me. No offense.”

He boyfriend shrugs. “None taken.”

“Point being that it would have been so easy for both of us to just never say anything. And voila! There you have it! No more being in love and making everyone else tell us to get a room.”

She spares a sidelong glance at Merida, who’s currently glaring at them with her tongue stuck out.

“Well, we’d still be in love though, right?” Hiccup says, frowning. “We’d just be a lot more miserable about it?”

“Not necessarily. Maybe one or both of us would meet someone else we were convinced was our soulmate or whatever, and we’d get super obsessed with them. Like, to the point it seemed stupid to like anyone else. Or I’d get frustrated when you put walls up like Elsa did, and I’d stop trying to get through to you. Or you’d hear me fart in class or something, and then decide I was disgusting and never worth considering as a romantic option again.”

He pouts. “You really think I’m that shallow?”

“I doubt it.” She shrugs. “But it’s what I’ve come to expect. You ever hear that ‘never ever ever do anything gross or lame in front of the guy you like or he’ll be turned off and never consider liking you back ever again’ stuff on the internet? Had me watching my every move around you for a long time.”

Hiccup scoffs. “Well, you didn’t need to. I’ve known for years that you snore, and sometimes you stink to high heaven because you forget to put your deodorant on in the morning, and you can get so overwhelmed that you can’t bring yourself to shower for days, and you still have all your toys from when you were a kid, and you love predictable and critically-panned movies because surprises and endless trope inversions stress you out, and you panic when you have to make big decisions or decisions where you think people will hate you for getting it wrong, and guess what? I still love you.”

His volume drifts up on the last sentence, like he’s speaking over a blizzard instead of a light, silent snow shower. Anna catches glimpses of several of their friends turning to look at them.

She tenses against him, sliding her hand out of his hair. Suddenly she’s looking at the snowy concrete, unable to meet her boyfriend’s eyes. “Why do you always say it like that?”

“Say it like what?”

“Like…like loud like that. So like…any old person can hear.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Aren’t you embarrassed?” She finally looks up, grimacing slightly. “I mean—well, it’s just—I guess I wonder—aren’t I embarrassing?”

He looks genuinely perplexed. “…are you? This is news to me.”

“You’re not like…” She bites her lip anxiously, somewhat dreading the blunt answer she knows she’s going to get. Her voice softens, as though if she speaks too quietly for him to hear, she’ll have an excuse to drop the subject and put off learning what has to be a painful truth.

“You’re not embarrassed to be with me? Like…at all?”

To her surprise, his confusion only grows. “In what world would I be embarrassed to be with you?”

“I mean…I’m barely passing college. I’m addicted to Starbucks and posting food pics on Instagram and a bunch of other unoriginal ‘basic girl’ stuff. I can’t go more than a few sentences without accidentally saying something stupid. I’m super gross and can’t take care of myself half the time. My brain overwhelms itself over the dumbest things, and then I can’t function at all. I’m not really on track to become anything like…exceptional. And smart people movies fry my brain, and I probably form a whole host of bad opinions about them while I’m watching them. I’m kind of a failure.”

After a small pause, Hiccup lets out a deep sigh. “Okay, I don’t even know where to start with all that. First of all, half that stuff doesn’t matter to me. That’s what I’ve always told you, and like…let’s be real, I’m not a good liar. If I was bullshitting, you’d know by now.” He shakes his head, smiling fondly. “If any of those things did bother me on any significant level, I can assure you I never would have gone out with you in the first place. I knew you long enough to know what I was getting into, Anna. Secondly…”

He casts a glance behind her, Anna following his gaze. Jack is stuffing snow down a giggling Rapunzel’s shirt, the smug air from earlier long gone. Anna looks back to see Hiccup rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t get most of Cold Life, either. Really, I was humoring Jack more than anything, but it’s no crime not to be able to wrap your head around that clusterfuck of a movie. I was impressed that you were able to analyze as much as you did. Thirdly…”

His hands slide up her waist to firmly grasp her shoulders. “You need to listen to me here. You’re the farthest thing from a failure. You get up every morning and you work your ass off ten times harder than anyone I know—just to get through the day. You bite and claw your way through advanced high school classes and college applications and now these terrifying exams that are worth 60% of your grade, and you still somehow find the energy to look out for me when I can’t do it myself. You keep on smiling and trying to see the best in everyone and everything, even when people are awful to you and you feel like no one wants you around—absolutely not true, by the way. Honestly, I do all right in school because a lot of technical, mathy stuff comes easily to me, but…” He smiles meekly. “I wish I had half the resilience you do. I wish I knew how to bounce back when I do eventually find a class that’s too much, because gods know it takes the balls of steel you have. Or…” His cheeks flush in embarrassment. “Boobs of steel, I guess.”

“Nice.” Anna grins. “I have natural protection if someone tries to stab my lungs!”

“Precisely.”

“But…” She meets his eyes, a little embarrassed by how desperate she probably looks. “You think there’s still hope for me?”

“Absolutely. You just haven’t found your niche yet. Which is fine—most people our age haven’t, despite what stupid college marketing campaigns will try to tell you. But when you do find it? I know you’re going to kill it. Zero doubt in my mind. When you funnel all that energy into something, it’s going to blow people away.”

And then Anna Runeardsen stands on her tiptoes (curse her boyfriend’s growth spurt the last year of high school—now he towers over her and it’s really rather unfair) and kisses Hiccup Haddock like never before.

They’ve kissed probably dozens of times at this point, some more memorable than others. This one feels different, though—like something straight out of a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie.

(One where the actors have good chemistry, though. Not those lifeless budget movie kisses where it looks like two fish trying to eat each other.)

Her hand slides back up into his hair, and she breathes him in. He tastes like Oreos and hot fudge and ice cream and a shameless burst of self-confidence when she needs it the most. His lips are dry and chapped from the cold late winter air, but Anna doesn’t mind. It’s him, and that’s what matters to her.

Her heart still pounds every time, just like it did holding hands with him for the first time during a 6th grade game of Red Rover. All these years, and he still makes her feel like she’s floating on a summer breeze, wildflower aromas all around her and the sun in her hair.

Ironically, being with him is also as tranquil and easy as cloud-watching in the grass on a clear day. He excites her endlessly and keeps her grounded all at once, and she doesn’t know what she’d do without him.

Nearby, she can hear Merida gagging. This only makes Anna kiss her boyfriend harder.

When she pulls away, Hiccup’s hair is dotted with snowflakes. She smiles, brushing it out fondly.

“So,” she says cheekily. “Out of all the infinite possible timelines we exist in, I’m glad I’m in the one where I got to date you.”

He raises an eyebrow teasingly. “Are you sure? There’s probably several where you marry some famous actor, and get to livestream from a private pool all day.”

“Well…if you get that Silicon Valley job you’re striving for…” She pokes him playfully in the chest. “What’s the difference? Financially, anyhow.”

He raises a teasing eyebrow. “Anna, I don’t think you understand how money works—”

“Sure I do. There’s three categories of the monetary elite: ‘Rich’, ‘Richer’, and ‘Filthy Fucking Rich.’ And I, sir, am more than happy to just be in the ‘Rich’ category.”

He gives her a skeptical look, and she wonders if he knows she’s joking. She quickly backtracks.

“Or not. We could also be mega-broke together. I’m all right with living in a cardboard box under the freeway as long as I’m doing it with you.”

“Yeah, don’t get your hopes up about being rich.” He leans forward and kisses the side of her head. “I don’t think it’s time for us to start packing our bags for San Jose yet. I haven’t even passed my upper divs.”

Anna snorts. “You will, though. You really are the smartest person I know.”

“Maybe you have low standards, then.”

“I absolutely do not.”

“Debatable.”

There’s the soft crumbling of snow under tires, and Anna looks past Hiccup’s mop of brown hair to see a pale blue fiat pulling up to the curb.

“Looks like my ride’s here.” She leans up and plants a last kiss on his cheek. “We’ll have to continue this dispute some other time.”

“Good.” Hiccup snorts, crossing his arms. “You’ll have adequate time to realize you’re wrong.”

“I’m not,” she says breezily. “But even if I was, and you start failing absolutely every class starting tomorrow…” She blows him a kiss as she backs toward Elsa’s car. “You know I’m sticking with you no matter what, babe.”

“I love you!” He shouts the words at her as she closes the car door, loud enough for all their friends to glance at him again. Elsa snorts with laughter.

“Seems like your relationship is in terrible jeopardy,” she deadpans.

Anna snickers as her sister drives away. “Oh, yeah. I’m so concerned.”

***

...y’know, I thought up the “Eugene takes the twins to monster truck shows” completely on accident, but now I can’t stop thinking about it, like. Hilarious yet oddly wholesome??? For whoever was asking for more interactions between the side/supporting RotBTFD characters, I come here to deliver XD

Yes, Anna swears like a sailor because the only reason she canonically doesn’t is because she’s in a disney franchise XD She’s also older and wiser and just a little more cynical and not nearly as sold on the concepts of “destiny” and “one true love” as she once was XD I also find it extremely funny that I was combing over the dialogue and noticing some of Anna’s lines sounded more Hiccup-esque than I intended, and vice-versa...but then I realized that adopting someone’s speech patterns and mannerisms happens naturally when you date them/are around them a lot ;____; They’re absorbing parts of each other because they’re in love hELP

Amateur psychologist Mavis is so valid, I love her ;____;

For whatever reason I feel with an odd certainty that Hiccup would be a caramel guy. Also I was inspired by him ordering a pina colada milkshake in one of @lovestrucklyuniverse‘s fics and now I think he’s a pineapple guy too.

#hiccanna #hiccannamonth #hiccannamonth22 #hiccannamonth2022 #hiccup x anna #anna x hiccup #hiccup #anna #hiccup haddock #princess anna #hiccupxanna #annaxhiccup #fanfic #fanfiction #rotbtd #rotbtfd #modern au #college au #httyd #frozen #crossover

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So normally I would not laugh at something like this, but people are big mad. Though if you don't want to read the article I'll lay out what's going on. People on Twitter, IE: Twitter freaks. Mostly probably "Antis" and Minors or just can never be happy LGBT activists, are mad about this photo someone made.

Now. The reason I headed this off with laughter is actually two fold.

This game is made by a company in China. THE CHINESE hate the LBGT with a passion. And they are not shy about admitting that. Sure propaganda might say otherwise but that's all they tend to put out is propaganda. (The rest is western bait).

The same people mad about this are the same ones that get mad that there are not more platonic relationships between men and women. But the moment their "Waifu" isn't a lesbian woman and is instead FRIENDS with a woman, it's, "HOW DARE SHE NOT BE A LESBIAN!". Actually just sad.

So yeah. I'm laughing at everyone mad at this art work. Because I'm tired of a culture that makes EVERYTHING gay all the time. "Two guys are friends? OH NO! THEY AREN'T FRIENDS! ACTUALLY THEY ARE GAY CODED!"

Fuck off. I grew up in the 90's on Brotherhood and Sisterhood stuff. I saw movies like the Pokémon Celebii movie where this scene happened:

This isn't gay coded. This is two guys who got along and became great friends. A lot like brothers if you will. However, if this movie came out now, the Twitter Freaks and Antis would be raging about how they are canon gay. And any movie after that could potentially erase that "Image" would have gotten the Pokémon company death threats. Imagine being so unhinged and so up in your own feelings that you send DEATH THREATS to a person because your favorite character ISN'T the sexuality you thought they were.

Which to be frank, is a YOU problem. If you can't like a character, or keep liking a character because of their sexuality, I'm sorry to tell you this but that kind of makes YOU the bigot. Not MOST other people. It's why I wince at shallow "LGBT Inclusion". Because it's done not as a character that was just "Supposed to be that way". It's cheap, shallow and the only thing it does is activate the "Woke" crowd to talk about how inclusive it is to sell more copies because they know most of the "I DEMAND REPRESENTATION" people will literally write article after article about how "Inclusive" it is. And all they have to do is put on GAY KISS into the franchise and you just bust your load.

Honestly it's pathetic if you think about it. And kinda of sad as well. Gay representation was in movies for years. But now all of it feels either forced or shallow. OR BOTH. And most of you need to get your heads out of your asses about this "coded" bullsh*t. Two people can exist and NOT be dating. A girl and REALLY get along with another girl and not be gay for one another. Get your heads out of your asses and stop harassing REAL LIFE PEOPLE because your fictional waifu isn't gay enough in every representation of them.

Besides the fact that given she's a character coming out of China, I can almost promise that she is NOT a lesbian. And frankly speaking? You give a middle finger to everyone living under the tyranny of the CCP when you pretend that a game is being "Representative" when the country as a whole is far from that. I wonder how many LGBT people are in China right now living in fear for THEIR LIVES and having to stay in the closet lest they be jailed, or worse.

Stop being stupid. And cope harder.

#discourse #discussion #gaming

[beevean]

Personally, I'm getting a kick out of seeing people on both sides of political spectrums finding any possible way to somehow make the new Mario movie into some part of a cultural war. From John Leguizamo clearly using the film as a way to put himself back into the spotlight by complaining about two Italian characters having white dudes cast to play them, to people swearing that the movie's financial success must be because it's not "woke"(even though these people were likely the same ones who also complained about Peach being made into a gurlboss).

People going out to see it can never be something as simple as it being the first major Mario adaptation since the early 90s. Nope. It always NEEDS to have something to do with their stupid culture wars, apparently.

complaining about two Italian characters having white dudes cast to play them

WHAT

urgh, no. This is not a race thing. At best I can accept "it would have been better if they hired two Italian-American VAs" (not even Italian, Mario and Luigi's accent is stereotypically Italian-American, it's different), but I'm sorry, if I get the slighest sniff of "Italians/Mediterraneans aren't white" I lose my shit.

(also isn't Leguizamo Latino. In his movie they casted a white British guy and a Latino as Mario and Luigi, not even as VAs but as full actors. c'mon man.)

Anyway this is silly, what else is there to say. Oh, look, a modern animated movie based, quite faithfully too, on the literally most famous and beloved videogame series of all time, which is going to turn 40 this year, earned lots of money. who woulda thunk it. must have been because of girlboss peach or something :V

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

The Mask 1994

*I finally wrote the whole thing. I finally watched the movie that involved something I’ve been talking about A LOT. I think this took about an hour since I finished the movie. Forgot to mention Charlie.*

I wanna make this clear, even before I watched movie or ever writing this. I am legitimately a stupid and lazy person. Because my mom told me about this, and last week, my dad rented A Quiet Place Part 2. When I was trying to go to sleep but was looking up movies...I literally forgot my tv can do that too...and that I can rent or buy a movie...I rented the movie this morning, and deleted it afterwards...after all that talk...I could’ve done that...wow. I should do that more considering some movies I wanna see or like. Not too much though. My tv has DirecTV. Just a heads up.

But a few or couple of minutes ago, I finally watched The Mask film from 1994. This post is gonna be filled with spoilers and it’s gonna get long. Gonna be kind of a review. My overall thoughts on it. This was my first reaction to the whole movie.

I’d just wanna talk about this too. I like comic books, I like comic book movies. Mainly my favorites are ones like all of Zack Snyder’s DCEU movies, Spider-Man 1 & 2, The Suicide Squad 2021, Wonder Woman 2017, The Dark Knight(Despite whatever issues I have with it), and Joker 2019. Yeah, those are mainly DC films and two Marvel related ones. I don’t even mind Spider-Man 3 as well. I also forgot Dredd 2012 is another one of my favorites. Along with Batman 1989.

I was hoping The Mask could make that list of favorites. Because I read the comics first. I don’t think I ever watch the movie fully as a kid MAYBE. I’m a fan of the comics, I know this movie was gonna be a lighter take on the series. 

In a nutshell...I liked it. It’s possible it will be on that list of favorite CBM’s...but I want to talk about it. I’ll also admit I think what got me interested in seeing this film and this series was me liking Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura...now, let’s get to the point.

Yeah, I liked it. I thought the movie was genuinely entertaining. Despite seeing some clips before. But also Ryan Hollinger’s video about it. Revealing the ending, the twist, and other stuff. But I didn’t wanna watch more more that I haven’t seen yet.

I will be honest, it still made me laugh. Even some scenes I already have seen. I will admit, the Cuban Pete scene is actually one of my favorites. XD But what also surprised me is that at times, despite being a funny film. It can genuinely be touching in a way. And I am mainly talking about the developing relationship between Stanley and Tina.

I just wanna talk about the characters right now. I’ll just admit unless I haven’t already. I’m a Jim Carrey fan. Mainly because of his more goofier roles. Particularly his roles from the Ace Ventura movies, Liar Liar, and especially Sonic The Hedgehog. I also will admit this, Jim Carry nails playing Big Head or who they call...The Mask in this movie...I’ll nitpick about that later.

But yeah, Jim’s entertaining as Big Head in this film. He does make me laugh. But I think another role he does well despite there are some sillier moments, which is fine. I feel like in a way, Stanley Ipkiss in this version, is maybe one of his more normal roles. But I know I’m wrong considering whatever other roles he’s in. He portrays a likable good guy who’s sadly mainly pushed around. Which is quite the difference from the comics, except being pushed around. But that’s another topic. Yet for this story, even if maybe Stanley’s name could be changed. But him being a genuinely kind guy works for this story.

Even before I saw the movie, learning more about this version about the character. I can relate to Stanley in some ways honestly. Which is something that I like. He basically shines as a protagonist. 

He portrays both sides well. Despite at times...honestly, this Stanley is wacky. I shouldn’t be judging. Jim does a good stuff with what he played, and he’s the highlight of this movie. He also delivers possibly my favorite Jim Carrey line of all time now. Sorry if I get this wrong. I was looking for a clip of it to help me.

“Daddy’s gonna go kick some ass”. A literal line from Jim Carrey in this movie and I love it. He even brings a pistol with him.

I also wanna admit Peter Greene as Dorian is pretty good as a villain. The dude can be threatening and he works with what he is given. And he’s effective as an antagonist. I just wanna admit that I swear, one of these guys. One of them could’ve Walter in a way and I just think that could’ve been possible. But I’m not sure. Just one of Dorian’s henchmen looked like a huge guy. It just got me thinking about Walter from the comics.

Will admit, I think Kellaway is fine. And I just found out Christopher Reeve was one of the actors considered for the role...damn. But again, Kellaway was fine. He’s more like a supporting character and again, this is like an origin story. I do feel bothered Lionel Ray wasn’t added but replaced with this Doyle character. I will admit that Doyle is silly, which is the point of his character. I guess the writers and director didn’t want two sensible cops or something. I like Kellaway alright, but I’ll always dig Lionel too.

I really wanted to get this point. I thought Cameron Diaz was good as Tina Carlyle and Amy Yasbeck as Peggy Brandt. I will admit, I do strangely like the subversion with Peggy in a way with it’s twist. I get the idea if that it was going for that theme of, “We all wear mask” and Peggy turning Stanley into the mob said a lot about her character. While Tina was genuinely the one that truly supported Stanley.

I think was surprised me more was the fact despite Peggy turned in Stanley for selfish purposes such as paying for her condo. Yet what surprised me more was she was actually concerned for Stanley being killed, and didn’t want him hurt...which explains even more why she stuck around in the cartoon. And honestly, it makes me glad the director took out that deleted scene of her getting killed. So she wasn’t that heartless.

Also...it made me think that...my ideas and changes towards her character...maybe hold some weight.

I’ll just put this out there too. Milo is great, one of my favorite fictional dogs maybe. Good dog.

Trying to think what else, the score was fine. But the licensed music was good or something. Overall, I think my negatives could be just...nitpicks. Such as the Big Head part I wanted to talk about. Listen, I understand this is a different version. I just feel it’s weird to call him, “The Mask” instead of Big Head. I know other characters mask in their name or something. But...some reasons, the name Big Head is there. I guess it’s because of the title or something.

Honestly, I think my negatives are more that it feels short. And maybe Stanley becoming Big Head a bit too early. I sound kind of stupid, I know. But this was the 90′s and whatever else. This was a different take on the comics. But I did genuinely like it. Maybe I’m just a bit attached to those comics. Despite knowing the changes they did.

But I will admit, considering the development for this film. And learning that it was meant to be a horror film. But the director Charles Russell found the violence in the source material to be off putting. So he made it less grim, and more fun. I’ve also read somewhere that trying to make comedy with that violence was difficult.

Back to the point, to be honest. I feel like for that time and age. A more light Mask film was maybe the best choice to go. And we wouldn’t have Jim Carrey in it. I do also wanna say, I feel like The Mask series, you can do a lot of it. You can have something dark with it, or maybe more lighter.

There are still some of those darker elements. Mainly considering the moments with the gangsters and all that. But I will admit, learning that Charles mostly directed horror films. I think it’s impressive he made a more family friendly film and it worked. 

I liked it, despite my love for the comics. I thought when writing this, maybe some folks reading this may think I sound like fans who read the comics who first experienced this movie. But the film isn’t bad, it’s just a different take and a pretty nice one at that.

And to be honest, as much as I would of loved to see an actual sequel. And not that bad film known as Son Of The Mask. I understand why Jim Carrey dropped out, and I would’ve loved to see Peggy back because the director planned to bring her back reformed. But I feel like this film works as a one off in a way. And there’s also the cartoon, which works fine as a sequel despite some differences. Yet...I’ll admit, I would’ve loved The Mask 2 if we got Jim Carrey as Stanley again fighting against maybe someone like Walter.

The Mask 1994 is a good film. Despite changes from the source material, but the changes for this vision work. It’s cool this film has a cult following, and the fact I have used elements and story beats from it for The Mask Rebirth stuff I’ve been talking about. Even before watched this whole movie.

It’s a genuine fun flick. But I’m hoping down the line, if Warner Bros stops being fucking stupid with how they run things. Maybe we’ll get a reboot or how about an animated film that seems more true to the source material. 

I know The Mask/Big Head doesn’t have a big legacy such as the likes of Superman, Batman, and Spider-Man. But I do think this series could be reimagined and expanded upon. Using elements not only from the original comics, but even the movie and cartoon. 

And...despite it was because of Ace Ventura...I would like to thank @kaijuguy19 for being such a supportive dude, and talking about this franchise with me. Including wanting to talk about this movie long ago when I haven’t seen it. But I want to say...no...he’s one of the big reasons why I’m a fan. Because he’s one of the only guys I know who’s a fan. It started with Ace Ventura, but it was because of talking with Kaijuguy that I guess things started to escalate. So thanks man for talking about this stuff with me.

Also, Charlie was silly and he was fine as a character. I forgot about that dude despite wanting to talk about him. Gonna tag him too in case. Charlie schumaker

#GeekGem Rambles #the mask #the mask 1994 #jim carrey #stanley ipkiss #dorian tyrell #mitch kellaway #tina carlyle #peggy brandt #cameron diaz #amy yasbeck #peter greene #big head #charles russell #charlie schumaker