#somewhere out there is the Big One that plagued egypt

[gendzl]

I have found........an even bigger toad 😈

#my biggest toad is 7'' from nose to butt hole (yes there is a literal hole in their butts) and i thought that was as big as they got! #I've only seen a few in that size and they were all sold by the same guy and were criminally expensive #but i just found one that is 10'' from nose to butt hole. TEN!!!!!! TEN INCHES LONG!!!!!! #this is so awesome and SO funny because the real toads they're based on aren't anywhere near this big 😭 #I'm fairly certain i already own the smallest one they made but now I'm imagining ever-bigger toads on the other end of the scale. #somewhere out there is the Big One that plagued egypt #¶

[mask131]

Egyptians gods: Bastet

Bastet is without a doubt one of the most famous goddesses of Ancient Egypt today.

Everybody heard of the cult and worship Ancient Egyptians dedicated to cats. Cats were sacred animals for them. Originally domesticated around two thousand years before our current era, they were loved due to their habit of hunting, killing and eating rats. When you had cats around, plagues were less likely to break out AND the harvest and fields were safe! Through time, this love took on a religious and sacred aspect, and cats became honored, respected and pampered members of every household. When a pet cat died, the humans that lived in its house had to shave their eyebrows to signify their grief. When the cat of a temple died, the entire town mourned. Each pharaoh had a personal cat, dressed in jewelry and that shared their master’s meal. Cats were mummified, just like humans, and were placed inside a necropolis – showing how important they were for Ancient Egyptians. Egyptians even had a firm belief that when a fire broke out somewhere, cats would just jump in the flames and stop the fire by their sheer power! Cats were a BIG deal in Ancient Egypt.

And the goddess of all cats, the cat-goddess, was Bastet (or Bast), the goddess of the city of Bubastis (a name that means “the house of Bastet”, Per-Bastet in proper Egyptian), in the Delta. However, originally Bastet wasn’t a cat goddess: in her oldest incarnations, Bastet appeared as a woman with the head of a lioness, usually wearing the ankh and a scepter. It was only later that she became a cat – somewhere around the Third Intermediate Period. Sometimes a full cat, wearing jewels or nursing her kittens, other times a cat-headed woman holding a sistrum.

Bastet was, just like several other goddesses (Maat, Hathor, Sekhmet, Tefnut), considered one of the “daughters of Ra” – which meant more than just her having the god as her father. The daughters of Ra were goddesses that embodied the power of the sun, each one reflecting a different side of the sun’s light. Each of them was another identity of the “Eye of Ra”, whose function was to help create and re-create life on Earth, by bringing light and by fighting off the darkness. While sometimes merely depicted as sisters, for many others Bastet and Sekhmet were actually one and the same: a same feline goddess, that when angered or triggered, became the furious lioness embodying the destructive and killing aspect of the sun, while Bastet was rather the benevolent and kind side of the solar light. It was for example written in some texts that Bastet became Sekhmet for the night, to protect ferociously Ra during his journey throughout the dangerous and demon-filled underworld, only to return to being Bastet in the morning. Starting in 2500 BCE, many lioness statues were replaced by cat statues in Sekhmet temples, which with time became Bastet temples. [It is theorized that maybe Sekhmet and Bastet began as one same entity, which was later split into two]

But who was Bastet, by herself, on her own? Bastet was, as I said, the kind and benevolent aspect of the light of the sun. Bastet was the embodiment of sweetness, gentleness and tenderness. People depicted her as calm, peaceful and loving. She was a benevolent and very popular deity associated, just like Hathor, with music and dancing – her rites in Bubastis included musical ceremonies, religious dances and ritualized sex. The festivals of Bastet also included a LOT of alcohol – which was justified by the need to prevent Bastet from becoming Sekhmet, putting the burning lioness to sleep by making her drunk. Bastet also embodied maternal love: she was often depicted taking care of kittens, either breast-feeding them, or keeping them in a basket. She was a goddess prayed to at every birth, so that she would protect the newborn. In fact, Egyptians had the habit of making a small cut in the inside of the elbow of the baby, and place in it a few drops of cat blood – this was to make sure the child would attract the favors of Bastet. Keeper of peace, protectress of the house, Bastet was also believed to prevent the spreading of contagious diseases, and to protect humans from evil spirits. No need to say that her cult was practiced more intensely by women, since Bast was the goddess that helped them give birth and take care of the home.

A fun fact: when the Greeks established a correspondence between their gods and the Egyptian ones, they decided that the goddess corresponding to Bast would be… Artemis! It might be surprising to choose the goddess of the hunt and the wilderness for a goddess of peace, maternity and home, but this is actually easily explained by Bast’s “primitive” form as a lioness goddess, which made the Greeks confuse her with another lion-goddess, Tefnut (who they also identified with Artemis).

#egyptian gods #egyptian goddess #egyptian mythology #bastet #bast

[alpaca-clouds]

We kinda look at history wrong

(And school is to blame.)

Building a bit on the historical apocalypse post I wrote. I think, we really make a big mistake in the way we look at history. And that big mistake is looking at the history in defined epoches. Like: 500-1500 in Europe was the middle ages. Ancient Rome lasted from 600BC till 500AD. And Ancient Egypt lasted from 4000 BC till around 300 BC. Stuff like that.

Why do I think this is a mistake? Well, basically because it groups things into "one thing" that are not "one thing".

Do you remember when Assassin's Creed Origin came out? All the Egyptologists would keep telling the people that in fact the pyramids have been build longer ago from the main character's perspective, then the fictional story in the game lay before our current perspective. The Egypt of the game very much is not the Egypt those pyramids were build in. Because literal thousands of years of time had passed in between. The culture developed and changed in between. Ancient Egypt is not one monolith, but like... I honestly do not have the words for it.

Certainly. Technology had not shifted as massively, as it did in those last 100 years from our perspective. But it had shifted a lot. It is to assume that language, too, has shifted a ton in between, even though it is hard for us to know how much. Because we have obviously no audio recordings. We know that the writing system changed a lot. But until someone invents a time machine...

This is as bad with the "middle ages". For several reasons. For one: Those were 1000 years. A lot of stuff happened and changed during those 1000 years. But also: When people say "middle ages" they tend to mean "Europe in the 1000 years between 500 and 1500 AD". At least that is what they think they mean. But what they tend to actually talk about it "England, France and Germany in that time", mostly because a lot of the mainstream research focuses on those areas, but also because we just happen to have more written records from those areas surviving till this day.

But I guarantee you: While technology wise the peasant in 11th century England might not have lived so very different from the peasant in 11th century Wallachia... Culturally they had a very different experience. And that is something that gets lost a lot.

And it really gets us in a ton of problems, when we speak about history. Especially when it comes to certain nerds, that are awfully obsessed with masculinity and whiteness, discussing those eras. Because they tend to often pick and choose something that fits their narrative and that happened somewhere in the 15th century and then just project it out onto the entire medieval period, ignoring any and all sources that actually show things were different at other places and times during the period.

One of my favorite less political things that are brought up again and again is the misconception of "medieval people did not bathe". Which is just plain wrong. Medieval Europe had in fact a very elaborate bathing culture with bath houses, that kept the water heated - at times still using technologies that had survived from Roman times. But... when the plague came again and again, people realized that those, who frequented the bath houses were more likely to catch the plague. And because they did not understand bacteria and such, they assumed that it had something to do with the bathing. So bit by bit in the late medieval period bath houses fell out of fashion and people instead washed at home - often with a cloth. Which did not make them unclean. Just not bathed.

And all of that is without going into the entire idea of history somehow being linear... Which I think I will save for another time.

What I want to say, though, is... A lot happens within 1000 years. And while there are certain reasons that history is grouped into those epoches for study, teaching it just straight like that kinda does the whole topic no justice. Folks need to understand that those epoches are just convenient ways to group history together - but that within those epoches a lot happened and changed.

#history #medieval history #ancient history #history isn't a monolith #european history #history rant #ancient egypt #assassins creed

[dailyaudiobible]

12/13/2022 DAB Transcript

Obadiah 1:1-21, Revelation 4:1-11, Psalm 132:1-18, Proverbs 29:24-25

Today is the 13th day of December, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian, it's wonderful to be here with you today, as we gather around the Global Campfire and do what we do every day, take the next step forward together. Our next step forward leads us to into, yet again, new territory in the Old Testament. We have reached our final destination in the New Testament; we are working our way through the book of Revelation. And so, that's the last book in the New Testament, so that will carry us to the end of the year. And incidentally, since we have been putting some of the additional discussion about the book of Revelation at the end of the programs from last few days. Just letting you know, there won't be one of those today at the end up to the prayers; there won’t be one of those tomorrow, after the prayers but then we’ll pick back up in a couple of days. But that's getting ahead of ourselves; that's in the New Testament, but we have quite a bit a ground to cover in the Old Testament.

Introduction to the Book of Obadiah:

And today we will read the shortest book in the Old Testament in its entirety. So, a whole Old Testament book today, one of the minor prophets known as Obadiah. And Obadiah identifies himself as the author in the text. Although almost nothing is known about who Obadiah was. The name Obadiah means servant of Yahweh. But that wasn't an uncommon name so, dating the prophecy specifically becomes difficult. A general consensus is that Obadiah probably was a contemporary with Jeremiah and that his prophetic works used Babylon's destruction of Jerusalem as its context. And if that's correct then Obadiah would be dated somewhere to the late 500s BC. This shortest book in the Old Testament has 21 verses and it would, it uses those 21 verses to deal with a very, very big family issue and discusses the destruction of the Edomites. And we might be like really, the destruction of the Edomites, family issue, Obadiah, what's this doing, like what, how does this work for us? If we remember back when we were moving our way through the book of Genesis, way back when our journey began. We certainly remember that we met a guy named Abraham, we’ve talk about Abraham since we met him. He appears all over the Bible. We remember that he had a son of promise, his name was Jacob, but he also had a son with Hagar, actually the son he had with Hagar was his firstborn son, his name was Esau. If we will remember our story, Jacob's name eventually gets changed and his name is changed to Israel and it's his children that become the tribes of Israel. They are the children of Israel. And we've been following their story throughout the entire Bible, but Esau. He had a family too and his family flourished and became a people as well and they became known as the Edomites. And now let's remember the fact that through the story of Joseph, we were told how the children of Israel came to Egypt and then we read of Egyptian slavery and then we met Moses and we saw the plagues upon Egypt as God set his people free. And they came into the wilderness and as they wandered in the wilderness, they had a struggle. They were kind of trapped, they needed to get places. But in order to get places they would need to move through other people's land. And if we’ll remember, that was a hard sell and it was a hard sell to the Edomites, who were their brothers. The Edomites wouldn't let their relatives pass through their land as they were trying to get to their own land. And then during other points in Israel's history, there was attack and war and the Edomites watched. They stood by and watched; they did not help their family. But it wasn't just their silence or their passivity, the Edomites were willing to pillage their own family, while they were suffering. And God is not pleased about it. And that's what we’ll find out very clearly as we read the book of Obadiah because Obadiah announces the total destruction of Edom. And again, we might be okay that is cool, that's good. Now I understand the story and what we’re about to read, but how is that like the Edomites so long ago. What is that got to do with me? Actually, quite a bit. We are believers, we are followers of Jesus. We have been grafted into God's family, we are family with each other, those of us who follow Christ. And it is too often five minutes on social media will show you this is true; it is too often that we are at war with each other, and we are brothers and sisters or we’re silent and passive as we watch our brothers and sisters get destroyed or suffer. And they may be of a different stripe than we are, and we may think that's what they deserve, that's, they're reaping what they have sown. Obadiah rejects that idea and Obadiah shows us that God does not favor arrogance. And so, there's plenty for us to consider there. And so, with that, let's dive in and begin and complete the book of Obadiah.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word, we thank You for the territory that we were able to move into and through today in the book of Obadiah, reminding us that we’re supposed to be taking care of each other. That the restoration of all things, the putting back together and the restoration of shalom, requires our participation in taking care of each other. Help us to remember that it is a never-ending battle with ourselves, the way that we react to things and the way that we react to one another. And the battles that…that we wage with each other, so that we can be dominant, or so that we can be right, when You are right, and You are true. And You have instructed us that we must care for one another. And so, we thank You for that. There's so much there for us to contemplate, and we invite Your Holy Spirit, as we consider it. And then, we read in the book of Revelation prayers and worship. And we too, along with those casting their crowns before You, declare worthy are You our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things and by Your will they existed and were created. Which means that by Your will, we exist and were created. And we glorify Your name. There is none above You. There is none beneath You. There is none beside You. There are none like You. You are God and You alone and our hearts reach and long for You, saying, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. So, Holy Spirit, flood us with an awareness of Your presence in our lives, as we pour our hearts out in worship to You today. We pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Revelation Song by Jill Parr

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Earth is Space Australia, “Plagues of Earth.”

I finally got to write an earth is space Australia ft. (Australia) lol. I hope you guys have fun, i enjoyed making this, though I had less time than I wanted to elaborate. 

Also inspired by a cover of “The Plagues of Egypt” Done by Johnathan Young in a heavy metal style. I would suggest listening to it when you think about this piece. 

Also, sorry if I said anything inaccurate about anyone’s country. I had less than two hours and a quick google search for facts 

“Their planetary defense is strong, but they prepare for battle on a large scale.If we bring our troops to the surface in small drop ships, and lead their military carriers away by attacking their nearby colony. We will take the planet.”

“What would be the point of this?”

“Humanity is held up as deity by the rest of the galaxy. As long as they fight, the GA fights with them. But if we destroy them, crush their planet at the source, then we crush the morale of the rest of the galaxy.”

“Where do we drop out soldiers?”

“Everywhere, on every major landmass, near every major city. But we do it quietly, drop them into the wilderness first so the humans won’t see them coming.” 

“If we can defeat the humans, we can defeat them all.”

***

Location: Upper-Mid Merianda (Previous US/Canada border rocky mountain region) 

The burg landed in the thick forests of the north. The human planet was lush and green, and the temperature was moderate, though it leaned slightly towards cold under the canopy of branches. There were sounds everywhere, the chattering of wildlife and strange flying creatures flitting through the trees. The nearest human residence was not far off, maybe a ten cycle march down hill.

They would reach it in no time, and make their sneak attack.

Their team commander barked his commands to the following Burg soldiers and together they began making their way down the hill.

None of them noticed when things began to go wrong.

They had never been to earth, and so were not aware of the sudden silence in the forest that comes before a coming storm.

You see, the Burg are similar to the Iotans, in that they give off a pungent smell. Not so pungent as it tends to affect humans, but pungent enough to affect the nearby wildlife. A wildlife that was not pleased with their presence.

It might have been fine, if they hadn’t stumbled into the den.

It started with a light squeaking. A sound that gave them pause as they looked around for the source. One of the burg pushed aside a green fern to reveal a hole dug into the embankment. He would have investigated if it weren’t for the loud piercing howl that echoed through the trees just to their right.

They all leaped upright in confusion and fear backing into a circle.

Another howl pierced the forest from their left, another form their right. Until they were surrounded by the sound. Shapes flitted through the trees, furry on all fours and hunched.

A howl from directly behind them.

They spun in place.

As the wolf leaped from the top of the embankment her teeth flashing.

As it turns out wolf pups are fond of Burg flesh

***

New Brazilia (Somewhere in what was once central Brazil, Border rain forest district)

This was the perfect climate, nice warm, dark and moist, shady below the trees that towered overhead in great twisting arcs. The foliage below them was very thick and hard to cut through as they made their way towards the human colonies. This was surely going to be their element, and they laughed at the idea of making the humans suffer as they waded their way through the trees.

The ground before them opened revealing an embankment on the side of a river. There was a hole in the foliage here, and the ground was dry. The burg stepped down onto this spot, their feet crunching slightly in the dirt.

One of them slapped absently at one of it’s segmented legs, brushing away a small insect that had crawled onto its body. Another party member did the same.

One of them even shrieked in pain, “It bit me!”

They looked down brushing the little black bugs off their bodies, only to find that the ground was absolutely swarming with them. One of the Burg shrieked, and tried to run his entire body now covered with hundreds of these little black creatures, however he tripped and fell onto his face.

His entire body was black.

The others began to scream as well, swatting at their bodies and their weapons falling to the riverbed as they were overrun by a massive troop of army ants.

They would never make their destination.

***

United Slavic  Districts (North/eastern Russia)

This forest was both humid and somewhat cold. It was early morning in the summer, and yet frost still built up on the leaves of the plants overhead. The burg weren’t particularly pleased about this, but they were going to have to deal with it.

It was best to keep moving at times like this, and they hurried their way through thick banks of early morning fog towards the not-to-distant human civilization. Their feet were nearly silent over the frosty forest floor dirt compressing under foot.

They had been walking for some minutes when they heard the sound. A strange mournful cry from the woods almost like the cry of a human infant, though slightly deeper. THe sound made them excited. Where they were infants there were likely humans. And who knows that could be a human noise.

They followed the sound looking about the foggy forest.

The noise came again, so close.

Ah, and there it was, though they were disappointed to find it was not a human at all, but  two fuzzy brown animals no bigger than waist height. They were so small, so pathetic and pitiful and they cried out in terror when the burg approached.

One of the burg raised it’s weapon angry.

The bellow came echoing through the trees rending the very air around them and sending birds scattering into the sky.

The burg turned on their heels as the massive brown bear came charging out of the forest bellowing her teeth flashing.

As it seemed the great land, of what was once, Russia was not pleased with their presence.

***

East Trans African Belt (former Ethiopia)

It was hot and dry, and the burg didn’t like it. But at least the ground was mostly flat, and the dirt was easy to navigate. Tall grasses raised to either side of the shallow river just to their left. Animals grunted off in the distance and the sky above was bright and blue. Dust rose up from their feet as they made their way towards the edge of the river, hoping that the water would help to moisten up the air around them.

The grunting grew louder.

They glanced over seeing large bulbous shapes in the water. It didn’t much matter to them, and they mostly ignored the creatures, knowing that anything that big was likely to be equally slow. They were making their way up the riverbank now, and the creatures rested in the water just to their side.

Distant grunting grew louder.

One of the burg was standing just next to the bank now when the water exploded casing great droplets into the air as the Hippo burst from the river mouth open wide at it’s four foot extension and bit down upon the unsuspecting burg dragging him violently into the water.

The others tried to run, slipped on the mud, and were set upon by the rest of the family.

***

Southern Indasia (India) 

The river bank was calm, nothing but floating logs out on the distant water. One of the burg officers was listening to her communications.  There were reports form all across the human’s home planet, that many of their parties had gone radio silent. She wasn’t entirely sure what that could mean but it worried her. Many of them had been traveling along river pathways just like her and her group, and she wondered if that had anything to do with their current situation.

One of the young burg stood at the edge of the water kicking stones into its murky green depths.

“We should definitely move along  from this area.” She was saying moving back up the bank and towards the forest of trees.”

One of he logs had floated closer to shore.

The young burg agreed and bent down to retrieve his weapon from the bank.

A moment later his head had disappeared vanished inside the mouth of a crocodile who then began to spin violently  dragging the burg into the water. Alerted to the frenzy others came as well racing up onto the bank.

There was never any evidence that the Burg had visited india, though there were reports about strange noises by the river that morning.

***

Australia (still just Australia)

They came as the sun was rising. A low mist had coated itself over the land, though the day was lucking to be annoyingly hot. 

They were just coming up to the edge of the human settlement when they saw it. A distant shape silhouetted between two trees. At first it looked like a man, but as the fog drew back they found a strange creature staring back at them.

One of the burg snorted.

The thing looked like a Tesraki almost, but dumber and a bit taller with large pointy ears, an absolutely massive trunk, and a very long back tail that it used like a Tesraki to stand on iits back legs.

One of the Tesraki crouched down in the foliage resting his hand on a low garden wall.

“Just shoo it off.” Their commander ordered, and two of the Burg moved up to confront the dumb looking creature.

Three things happened at once.

First the crouching burg cursed violently flicking his hand and tossing the angry funnel web spider into the bushes. 

A hiss rose up from the leaves.

And the kangaroo violently kicked the first burg in the chest collapsing his carapace beyond repair before moving over to stomp his friend.

The death adder struck.

Two  of the Burg were convulsing on the ground, another two lay silent and broken. The next two ran off in different directions, one towards the nearby beach and the other back into the forest.

No one is entirely sure what happened after that. All we know is one was found belly up at high tide near the docks where blue ringed octopus are known to be found, and the other was completely gone, though they did spot a rather bloated and very happy looking python chilling in the bushes not far from where the incident occurred.

More and more berg had stopped answering their calls.

Most of the burg would never find out what happened.

But we do.

Burg were found dead all over the world.

A young girl reported a burg attack in the outskirts of London, though her rottweiler had made quick work of that enlisting another pack of suburban dogs to protect the little girl from the freaky bug things.

Alligator attacks in Florida.

Six burg were found plowed over by a speeding bullet train in Japan.

in  Lower Mid Mericanda, a group of self-claimed hillbillies  with cutoff sleeves and unironic mullets were speeding through the forests on the back of four wheelers taking pot shots at anything remotely burg shaped. They had  at least ten confirmed kills, and the creatures never made it out of the swamp.

Another group of burg had made the mistake of landing in one of the last nuclear fallout zones in eastern europe, and ended up cooked by the radiation, their bodies to remain rotting there until cleanup finally made it to the site. It was likely they didn’t last more than twenty minutes.

A surfer off the coast of New Zealand watched a school of dolphins ravage a group of burg who had through a water approach would be more prudent.  He had no idea how the dolphins knew the burg were intruders, but they seemed very interested in helping out.

One group of burg had managed to land themselves in a city in the european provinces, and found themselves beaten to death violently by a group of drunk civilians carrying improvised weapons, one of them even brandishing a pool cue.

Two more teams froze to death before they reached their destination.

Another was washed away by a minor flood.

One of the burg ended up tipped off a cliff by a massive eagle, falling to his death hundreds of feet below. 

Another entire group managed to walk their way into a patch of poison ivy breaking out in horrible boils, which later necrosed as they lay paralyzed on the forest floor. 

Somewhere someone was trampled by a moose, while their other friends were whisked over a waterfall.

In yellowstone (yeah it still hasn’t blown up yet bc the vents are a good pressure release) at least another team of burg found themselves cooking in the natural hot springs after ignoring the signs that said (keep on the walkway).

Those who chose to land in the city were not greeted cordially either, packs of marauding street dogs, gangs, the homeless, drunk civilians, angry policemen, and a high school baseball team supported by the high school chess team.

Long and short of the story is that earth was-not-having-it.

The burg had made a grave mistake. 

Mother earth was fond of her children, even the human ones. 

#earth is a deathworld #Earth is space Ausralia #humans are insane #HUMANS ARE WEIRD #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians

[babbushka]

As someone who recently learned about their Jewish heritage (and wants to know more about the traditions), I'm so excited to see your Passover Prompt List! What do you think of Situation 1 and Dialogue 1 or 5 with Clyde Logan?

Anonymous said: “You look handsome.” “My yarmulke makes my ears stick out.” “Yeah, but still handsome.”  w/ big grumbly bear clyde?

(1.1k, no warnings just fluff! I hope that you enjoy this ficlet my kind friend, and Pesach Sameach!!) Clyde x Jewish!Reader :)

He’s nervous, Clyde is. 

Hand tightly gripped on the wheel, knuckles nearly goin’ white. He didn’t remember the last time he had been so worried about somethin’ going wrong, probably not since the war. He reckons that Seder dinner at your parent’s house was less high-stakes than Iraq…but then again, he wasn’t so sure.

The sun is settin’ behind the West Virginia mountains as Clyde drives you in his car down to your folks’ place, sittin’ quietly as you tell him for the tenth time the story of Passover. He’s ignorant on the subject, hadn’t even realized how little he knew until he had started to read about it, started to hear you tell the story.

You’re tellin’ the story again, tellin’ him all about the exodus. He had heard about it briefly as a child when his Ma and Pa had put their kids in Sunday school o’course, but he never really thought about it much. It holds more weight on his shoulders knowin’ that that was your people, and he wants to get it right.

“…And that’s all you need to know!” You smile, when you come to the conclusion of the story for the tenth time, your eyes bright as you reach for the water bottle kept in the cupholder for the drive.

He steals a glance at you from the corner of his eye, tryin’ his best to be a good driver, an overly cautious driver the way he always is. The last damn thing he wants is to get into trouble on the road on a night so important like this.

“D’ya think we can go through it one more time?” Clyde’s voice is soft, gentle as always as he chews on his lip, fidgets his fingers on the steering wheel, “I’m worried I’ll forget.”

Your smile softens at him, somethin’ in your chest flutterin’ like butterflies. Datin’ Clyde had been a dream so far, an absolute dream. You were comin’ up on one year together, and as the days had gone by, you only fell more and more in love with him. You’d been worried, like most Jewish people are worried, about the possible reactions to them findin’ out you’re Jewish. Some people weren’t too kind about it, and it was always a risk to open yourself up like that.

But Clyde, your handsome boyfriend Clyde, sweet and gentle and soft-spoken Clyde, was never anythin’ other than good to you. And what’s more, he didn’t brush aside your culture or try to ignore it, or try to make you give it up for his own. He wanted to learn about your history and heritage, wanted to be a part of it.

“Clyde we’ve been over it all week, you’re going to be fine.” You rest a hand lightly on his arm, soothing his bicep with short rubbing motions as you chuckle, “Besides, you won’t even have to do anything but follow along, I promise.”

“But I want to do more than just follow along.” He turns those big brown eyes on you then as y’all come up to a red light, fully faces you with as much genuine earnestness that you’ve ever seen on a man. Letting go of the wheel for just a moment, just long enough to hold your hand and give it a proper squeeze, he continues, “I want to really participate. One more time, please darlin’?”

You had no idea how you got so lucky, with a man like him, and it makes you have to look away, your heart poundin’ hard. You could marry this man, you think to yourself as he reclaims his hand to put back on the wheel when the light turns green.

“Alright honey, let me get a sip o’this water first, my throat’s dryer than the desert.” You wink, and he cracks a little smile at the joke.

You recount the story once again, a cliff-notes version of the longer winded tale you had already told him nearly a dozen times. And this time, like the times before it, Clyde can’t help but feel the emotion in your voice as you do.

The pain you hold when you speak of the slaves in Egypt, how they were tormented and worked to the bone. The sorrow when you recount the way Pharoh refused to listen Moses, to the to the call for freedom, even at the threat of disaster. The awe in the way you describe the plagues, all ten of them descending down onto Egypt, punishing those who punished the Jews.

The story of oppression sits heavy on your chest, and Clyde realizes this was not the first time your people had to flee their homeland, and he knows it would not be the last. He wonders what it must be like to never have a place to call your own, constantly having to move, having to find somewhere else only to be kicked out from there too. You call it the Diaspora, and though he knows he’ll never really understand, he tries.

By the end of the story, when the Red Sea parted and the Jewish people knew they were free from this tyrant, Clyde can’t help but be misty-eyed. It’s a powerful story, one worthy of remembering year after year.

“Okay, we’re here.” You say softly, bringing Clyde out of his day-dream as the house comes into view from around the corner. Looking up at him, you give his arm another rub and ask, “Are you ready?”

Whether he’s ready or not, Clyde nods his head. He figures if your people can wander through the desert towards uncertain future, he can attend a Seder. It seems foolish to even compare the two, so he nods again and gives a quiet, “Yep.”

“I really appreciate you doin’ this Clyde.” You tell him honestly, tryin’ your best to not get too emotional over how much you love him, takin’ another sip of water. “I know it ain’t really somethin’ you’re familiar with or used to, and it just…it means a lot to me.”

“If it means a lot to ya, then it means a lot t’me.” Clyde replies just as honest right back to you, tryin’ to lighten the heavy mood with a shy, “How do I look?”

He clips the small head-covering to his neatly brushed hair, and you grin, absolutely beamin’ up at him.

“You look handsome.” You cup his cheeks and plant a big kiss right to his mouth, lovin’ the way a blush starts to creep across his nose.

“You sure?” He glances at himself in the rearview mirror, suddenly growin’ beet red. “My yarmulke makes my ears stick out.”

“Yeah,” You chuckle, because it does, even as you reassure him, “But still handsome.”

And Clyde knows that even if he messes up tonight, you won’t go teasin’ him too badly. He parks the car and opens your door for you, and follows dutifully behind you as you lead him into the house, and to his first Seder – hopefully the first of many to come.  

                                                     ----------------

taggin’ some Clyde lovin’ friends! @mochabucky @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @bitchydecisions @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @sunflowersinthesnow @babayagakeanu @safarigirlsp @steeevienicks @the-unmanaged-mischief @lovinghufflepuffgirl @rosi3ba3z @chapterhappygirl @groovetoob @bxnnywriting

#elizabeth-or-lily #clyde logan #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan/reader #clyde logan x you #clyde logan/you #clyde logan imagine #clyde logan fanfic #logan lucky #adam driver fanfic #adcu #passover #jewish!reader

[poptod]

The Ivory Haunting (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: His face is engrained into your head but his name is nowhere. Where does he exist? Why are you so obsessed?

Notes: this is strangely creepy and i dont know why. its not what i meant to do but i think its cool anyway. gender neutral as fuckin always WC: 3.1k

+

There's this carving – more of a bust or sculpture – that has your mind twisted every which way. It's a stupid thing, really, but you can't get his expression out of your head, and thus it haunts your waking and sleeping hours. The style is Egyptian, you think. He's wearing a crown on his head, one that you've seen in a couple museums before, and he has an absent smile on his face. While you scroll through the endless amount of photos of ancient Egyptian statues online, you note that it's an all too common expression.

At this point you can't even recall where you first saw it. Could've been through the endless internet surfing or the many museums you visited in your travels, but at the end of the day you're stumped. What was his name? Where did you meet him?

It's clear as day. His alabaster skin. He looks straight at you with empty eyes, the irises having eroded many years ago in the hot sahara sun. His nose has long fallen off, leaving behind a jagged scar that drags from his brow down to his lips, where that haunting smile sits so easily. They're full, his lips – sweet, and soft, even for stone. At each end are little dips, showcasing the slight smile. His chin is a little big, but it makes way for the sharp contrast of his jawline. He has cheekbones – mostly hidden behind the crown – and his ears are a little large. The trait that draws your attention each time is his eyes. Blank. Like they had truly been staring at the world for thousands of years.

You don't get out much anymore, not since the restrictions were put in place. There are moments, especially in the dead of night, in which you want so desperately to leave your tiny apartment, but the curfew states otherwise. Policemen and government workers roam the streets and you'd rather not get into a tussle over something so small as an urge.

Still, you stare outside your window, wondering why it feels like you're suffocating. This is how you spend a lot of your time nowadays, staring at the streets. There's hardly any cars out, and the sidewalks are barren, a sight you'd seen only once before during the original quarantine. London is not a quiet city. It's quite the opposite, and to see it muted is in the least upsetting.

Your job is... easy. Considering the state of the world, you're incredibly lucky, retaining your job and keeping away from the outside. You also get a lot of free time. Usually you'd spend it in front of a television, or in a good book, but now it's in front of your computer screen. The typing marker flashes in front of you, placing behind it the clear words you've searched at least a hundred times by now.

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN BUSTS

By now you know what the first images are going to be. Nefertiti, mostly – her bust is by far the most famous. Then there's of course Akhenaten with his elongated skull, followed by several advertisements for Kemetic worship.

You don't know much about Egyptian history. Or, at least you didn't use to. Now you recognize the faces, though rarely do you ever remember the names of the many forgotten dead. You're just looking for one – one name, one bust, one dead man.

He's nowhere, not in the books you buy or the articles you read. When you sign up for an online course of ancient Egyptian history, you expect to see his face in a textbook, but he's not there. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one who remembers him, which is funny – you don't even know him. Either way it's a way to occupy the time, since you have so much of it lately.

The British Museum is reopening. There's a whole thing about COVID, of course, and the only way to enter is to get tickets online. Only a handful of people are allowed inside the museum at once, and since you don't hear about it until later, you are set to wait a month and a half before you can visit. Bitterness wells up in the pit of your stomach, but like most things you set it aside. None of it really matters anyway – yes, not knowing his name feels like drowning mid-air, but it won't kill you.

From the moment you reserve a ticket to the moment you can actually use it, you dream of him every night. Sometimes it's actually him, no longer a statue, taking your hands and leading you somewhere you don't belong. His skin is warm, unlike his statue, but just as soft as you imagined. His nails are meticulously cleaned and his eyes are bright, full of a life you're desperate to understand. It doesn't make any sense. You're yearning so deeply for him, for something you've never known before, and every second away feels like pure horror in your veins.

Why do you need him this much?

You look at yourself in the mirror, fixing a strand of hair that falls in front of your eyes. You're dressed well – at least comparatively to your former few weeks of dress – and a quiet excitement thrums in your heart. Today is a day you're going to go out, and to make it better you're going to the museum. They have an Egyptian exhibit. A foolish part of yourself hopes you'll find him there, nestled in the corner of a long and fruitful hallway filled with Egyptian statues.

It's... disappointing, to say the least, to find out there's only one room for Egyptian exhibits and it's occupied by only one thing, besides broken pots and stone dolls. The main exhibit's name is Ahkmenrah, a young Pharaoh older than the Great Pyramids of Giza. All information on him can be fitted onto a four by six stone plate. While standing in his room, surrounded by hieroglyphs you've been studying hard to understand, you look him up on your phone. There's little mention of him, but the one article you do find on him has a 3D recreation of his face. He looks white and you know the article's bullshit.

While absently holding a conversation with one of the curators, you discover there's a store of Egyptian exhibits kept underneath the museum that aren't fit for showcase since the downsizing. Whatever that means, you find a sliver of hope, one that pales quickly at the realization you'll never be able to go down there. They wouldn't let some random visitor (who wasn't even an actual historian) to go see closed off exhibits.

Fischer, the director of the museum, hires you four months after you send your resume in. The second he does you set your plan into motion – there's no time to waste.

The same day he gives you the keys, you're sneaking in under the cover of night. For some reason, the lights are still on in the main museum, but fortunately that's not where you're headed. You unlock the backdoor, sneaking through the night guard's break room until you find the door to the basement. Flipping through the keys on your ring, you quickly find the right one, shoving it into the keyhole and almost wrenching the door open.

You run down the stairs. It's almost sprinting, but you can't be too loud with your shoes. There's nothing in your mind except him, his funny little smile, the somehow soft alabaster of his skin. You need to get to him. Something inside you says he's here – he's here, he's here, and there's nowhere else you can be without your whole body combusting.

You stop dead in your sprint, chest heaving as you're faced with the open boxes filled with Egyptian busts. With frantic eyes you look them over, searching desperately for one familiar face, finding none until the very last open box.

It's here.

He's here.

The broken nose, the formation of the resulting scar, you recognize every. Fucking. Inch.

Each box contains little notes on who the statues are (if known), the material, the time period, and other such relevant information. Your hands shake as you reach forward, slipping the piece of paper out of the paper stuffing.

King Ahkmenrah

Date: ca. 3,100 - 3000 B.C.

Period: Old Kingdom

Place of origin: Egypt, Cairo

Medium: Ivory

Ahkmenrah.

Sudden clarity strikes you as it never has when you recall searching his name online. He's the exhibit. He's the mummy upstairs. He's actually here.

The blood in you freezes for a moment, caught up in shock and relief. Now you know his name. A small part of you is finally able to rest with the answer, but the rest of you knows exactly what to do – go upstairs. Find the exhibit. Lay at his side. After all this time you still don't know why, but the ache of neediness in your heart is enough to leave you weak to your inner desires.

Now that your head is clear, or at least unhindered by your questions, you note a worrying amount of sound coming from upstairs. Footsteps pound on the ceiling as you climb the staircase, leaving you curious and terrified. That many people shouldn't be in one place – it's a death wish for the modern plague. You grit your teeth, fingers curling up in to fists that dig your nails deep into your palm. Is it safe to go upstairs? There's definitely people up there and you have no idea who they are. The museum could be being robbed right now and you wouldn't have a clue. It's a death wish.

Why are you still going up the stairs?

Why are you opening the door?

This shouldn't be happening. There's enough people to fill the whole first floor, ranging from the public entrance of the museum to the African exhibits in the back. Almost all of them are wearing historical outfits, in such a wide array you might've thought they'd stolen them from the exhibits, had they not looked exactly like the wax figures. The marble statue of the Roman on his horse is no longer on its' pedestal. Actually, he's talking to a woman a few feet away from you, though he is still on the horse.

You should be passed out on the stairs going by how fast your heart is beating, but instead you stand in the doorway petrified. Your eyes sit wide, scanning back and forth over the crowd, searching for something you don't know of. With all the stimulus in front of you, you don't even know what to think. The exhibits must be coming alive. Does someone watch over them?

It's then, with little clarity in your head, that your eyes land upon the night guard. She doesn't look in the least bit rattled, so you easily assume she's used to this. Her calm is so alarming to you that you blink yourself back into your body.

These are... people. Just people. They haven't been put under some curse that'll bring chaos to the world. All they're doing is partying, and though the noise level is a tad unpleasant, it's just about as rowdy as some teenagers.

When you realize you aren't in danger, you bolt from your place at the door. Twisting through the gathered crowd, you slowly make your way to the staircase, ascending with quick feet as your eyes lock onto the Egyptian hall. It's a few more feet until you turn sharp, shoes squeaking as you slide into the room. The familiar gold lighting greets you, shining off the open sarcophagus, which you skid to a halt in front of as your lungs desperately try to catch up to your legs.

Of course it's empty. Your Pharaoh – or Ahkmenrah, you suppose you should use his name now that you know it – must be downstairs, where the life of the party is. Why would he stay up in this empty room, all alone? From here you can barely even hear the music that was once pounding into your ears. Still, for a moment you stare at the bottom of the vacant coffin, caught in the awe of such a long-standing history.

"What are you doing here?"

The words catch you by surprise, and in reaction you whip around, eyes wide as the voice continues, "who are you?"

My King. Before you can even process the thought, the words roll onto your tongue, but to your immense relief you catch yourself before actually opening your mouth.

"I..." it barely comes out with how little you've physically spoken recently, "I work here."

As usual, your voice carries that quiet, calm, slightly annoyed tone that makes people wonder why you're being so difficult. It's not really something you can control, but the King doesn't seem to notice. Maybe it's worked to your advantage this time; despite your racing heart and frozen feet, you keep an even tone.

"I don't think I've seen you here before," the King says, his eyes narrowing as he steps closer. You try to back up, but you're already pressed against the sarcophagus, and his glare keeps you from running.

"I just started today," you answer honestly.

"Ah," he says, his voice softer the moment he begins to believe you. "This must be rather alarming for you, then."

You're not afraid to admit he's right.

"A tad. How do you speak english?"

"I learned it during my time at Cambridge University," he answers. He's from over 4,000 years ago, so you know he didn't attend as a student.

"You were on display there?"

"Yes," he says with a bright smile, one that catches you entirely off guard.

It practically blows you away – his demeanor changed so quickly, from a stern Pharaoh to a sweet, young man who probably bought his girlfriend flowers every Monday. For a moment you wonder why you were so caught up in him before knowing him; now that you've heard his voice, seen the way he moves, your interest increases tenfold. It's not enough to see him. You need to touch him. You need it more than anything.

"I've been looking for you," you blurt out, but the words come out so slow it sounds like you consciously chose them. You bite the inside of your cheek as you watch his smile falter.

"What do you mean?" He asks. He's standing in front of you now – if you extended your arm and took a small step closer, you'd be touching him.

"There's a sculpture of you," you say softly, swallowing the lump in your throat, "but I didn't know how to find your name."

"How'd you find me, then?" He asks, but he looks less offended. Now there's a keen look in his smile and in his eye, like he's going to enjoy this, like he knows something you don't.

"Sheer luck," you say with a shrug. It's mostly true.

"I think I know you," he says, and his smile quirks further upward.

"What?" You say, trying to back up again as he steps closer. The sarcophagus is, unsurprisingly, still behind you. "How?"

"Back when I was a King, I had a slave my brother killed," he says in the least comforting tone, "but my father had this idea."

Another step closer. You can feel the heat of his naked waist on your shaking hands.

"See, he had a magician in his employ, and he would do anything for me. Especially since I loved that slave so dearly. Truly," he leans forward a little, placing his hand on the gold case behind you and trapping you against him. His chest is practically right against yours, but what you are close enough to feel is his breath, soft on your collarbones. "And so my father retrieved the soul with a special spell and sent it into the future, to possess another at birth, and to lie in wait until I called for it."

You can't feel your – well, anything. There's a pressure on your chest, but you can't tell if that's your wildly beating heart or just his warmth skewing your senses. All you can do is stare up at him wide-eyed. He can't be telling the truth. Magic doesn't work like that, it can't work like that, that's a sick story and he's telling it like it's nothing more than normal. Possessing a newborn child. Sending souls into the future. It can't make sense. You almost feel bad for your past self – under the employ of someone so cruel as to take a soul from the afterlife for his own pleasure.

But he's standing before you. He's 4,000 years old, and he's standing in front of you, pushing you against his own coffin and trapping you there. Do you belong to him, then? Is that why you can't get him out of your head?

"When did your search begin?" He asks softly, a gentle curiosity evident in his brow.

"A – about a year ago," you say, your voice so broken and shaky you're surprised he understands it.

"Last winter?" He asks knowingly, almost sweet, like he's doting on you. Then comes the part that really makes it shine; he reaches up and pets your hair, moving in long, soft strokes.

You nod, unwilling to meet his gaze any longer. How red you must be by now.

"I called on you then. It took you a little while, but I'm glad you made it," he says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Unfortunately, I suppose you haven't retained any memories, since you didn't know my name."

"I guess not," you agree quietly. "I just have instincts."

"Instincts?"

You're reluctant to share with him the many instincts you'd had even in the short time from meeting him to now. The pure need to touch him. Past You probably had a crush on him, and even though you aren't really that person anymore, there's a need inside you to hide that fact from him. 

"I wanted to call you my King when I first saw you," you admit, your voice still quiet in hopes of him not understanding you.

"You won't have to call me that anymore. Maybe a tad around my parents, but when we're alone you may use my name."

"When we're... alone?" You question nervously, heart pounding at the thought of spending more time with him.

"You do work here, don't you?" He says with a sly grin. "I think I'll be seeing you quite a lot."

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh God.

If this is how you react just from spending five minutes with him, you can't imagine spending whole nights at his side. You'd explode. From what you don't know yet, but the pulsing rush in your heart is strong enough to worry you, and very rarely do you ever worry about yourself. The words in your head – your immediate reaction – simply won't pass. You can't bring yourself to say them, so you say what he wants to hear.

"As long as you want to."

#ahkmenrah x reader #Ahkmenrah #Night at the Museum #rami malek #rami malek character #ahkmenrah x male reader #ahkmenrah x female reader

[naturepointstheway]

“The Prince of Egypt” Fanfiction

Masterpost image credit to @ao3commentoftheday​

Here be a big, beautiful masterpost with all my Prince of Egypt (1998) fanfiction collected in one place. As I began writing on fanfiction.net, most of these are from there. There are a few that “graduated” to Archive of Our Own, and there’s one that’s organically grown on AO3 soil. 

Be warned, a lot of these earlier fics, especially from 2013-14, are probably not that great in terms of writing quality, but I leave them up because clearly people still liked them and hey, who knows how often people go back and re-read them even years later? 

2013 - 2015 PRINCE OF EGYPT FANFICTION 

All except one (”Wedding Night in Midian”) are organically grown in somewhat fertile fanfiction.net soil. However, four of them had been handpicked and “graduated” to Archive of our Own; this will be indicated with an extra alternate link to the fic on AO3 if you would rather go there. 

A Cry of Defeat (K)  

The last we see of Rameses in “Prince of Egypt” is him on a rock in the Red Sea, shouting Moses’ name. What if he managed to return to Egypt from the Red Sea? 

Death of the Firstborn (K+)

Rameses’ wife, Nefertari awakes him on the night of the 10th plague to tell him of the death of his only son and firstborn. Told from Rameses’ point of view, this story explores his reaction to both the death of his son and to Moses’ arrival at the end.

Do You Want to Race a Chariot? (K)

Before his death, Moses writes one final letter to Rameses, whom he believes had perished in the Red Sea. Little does he know he is still alive in Egypt.

Dynasty Extinguished (K+)

Archive of our Own link HERE. [AO3 warning used: “Major Character Death”]

God never said that only the first-born children will perish in the final plague on Egypt. A slight AU of the events of the tenth plague in the film.

Firstborn In Freedom (K+)

The Hebrews are freed and Tzipporah and Moses prepare to have their first child. When their son is born, Moses suddenly sees the Tenth Plague of Egypt in a new light. Would he give up his own firstborn if God demanded?

The Heart of Stone (T)

With each refusal to let the Hebrews go, Rameses’ heart and flesh rapidly turns into stone. A fanfic written for Halloween 2014. Sweet dreams!

Inconsolable (K)

What if someone, namely Rameses’ wife, Nefertari, had seen Moses weeping outside the palace after the death of the first born?

King’s Mother (K+) [multi-chapter fic, ~40,000 words]

What if Queen Tuya was still alive when Moses returns to Egypt? Moses is now married to Tzipporah, and they have one son, Gershom. Now twelve years after Moses’s exile from Egypt, they return to confront Pharaoh, only to find Queen Tuya is still alive. How will this change the course of Moses’ confrontation with Pharaoh Rameses?

Let My Heart Be Hardened (K+)

What is going through Rameses’ head when Moses says he returned to Egypt only to free the Hebrews, and not to be a prince of Egypt?

Little Brother, Big Brother (K)

Rameses meets his new baby brother for the first time. A quick and warm fluffy feelings read.

Lost Heirloom (T) [contains in-movie OC] [contains mild language and references to alcohol]

The senet table shattered during the chariot race was a heirloom to one of the players. Here, he shares his frustration on the “recklessness of youth” and his unshakeable fear of “his father’s father’s father’s ghost” haunting him for the rest of his life for losing the heirloom. Rated T for mild language and references to alcohol.

The Morning and Evening Star (K)

After a very long reign, Rameses II waits for his death as he reflects on what has transpired in his reign. He is visited by the ghosts of his parents, as well as his brother, Moses, as he waits for death to take him to the western horizon.

My Brother, the Forgiver and Deliverer (K)

Miriam watches Moses walking back to the shore of the Red Sea after triumphantly delivering the Hebrews from Egypt. What went through her head after the people were delivered from Egypt?

Out of Trouble Again (K)

Archive of our Own link HERE.

What if Rameses’ son had not walked in and interrupted right when Moses and Rameses were talking during the ninth plague in “Prince of Egypt”

Refusal to Harm (T) [Contains allusions to torture, execration (magical cursing) and discussion of execution]

Archive of Our Own link HERE.

No matter how much Hotep and Huy try to persuade him, Rameses will never harm his brother whether that be direct or indirect. Even as Moses brings down plague after plague on Egypt, Rameses will not hurt Moses, the man he had once called brother.

A Smile for a Statue (K) [Contains in-movie OC]

What exactly happened to that anonymous painter who drew a smile on the statue of Seti when he was knocked off his perch during the chariot race scene in “Prince of Egypt”? This short, quick story strives to answer that question! A light-hearted, quick read.

Sorrow of Moses (K+)

What went through Moses’ head as he collapsed in sorrow outside the palace after the death of the first born?

Stranger In A Strange Land (K+) [Contains OC character] [Multi-chapter, ~23,600 words]

Twenty years after the liberation of the slaves, Moses and Tzipporah have two sons, one of whom will journey to Egypt with Moses: Gershom. God has revealed that Rameses is still alive, and that Moses and Gershom should journey to Egypt to meet with Pharaoh. Along the way, Moses tells Gershom about the history of Passover and his life. Gershom finds more questions than answers.

Taking Him For Dead (K)

Several days after Moses’ self-exile, Queen Tuya reveals to Rameses of Moses’ true heritage. But does it change the fact that Rameses and Moses were the closest of brothers?

Thirty Glimpses of Egypt (K) [multi-chapter, 3,000 words made up of 30 100-word drabbles]

Archive of our Own link HERE. 

30 days, 30 drabbles of exactly 100 words that follow Moses and Rameses from Yocheved sending Moses down the Nile to Moses’ final, triumphant deliverance of his people. There will be one drabble a day for thirty days.

Wedding Night in Midian (M - strong sexual themes; only on Archive of Our Own, NOT on fanfiction.net)

The wedding night of Moses and Tzipporah. Strong sexual themes and content. Moses is hesitant at first, but soon allows himself to love Tzipporah as he had never done before.

2016 

Somewhere in between ‘14 and ‘16, my muses farewelled The Prince of Egypt and moved on to new lands, namely Frozen, which had taken my brain by storm back in 2014 and exploded into prominence by 2015/16. So 2015/16 was the year when my Muses moved on for good from The Prince of Egypt, but still like to look back in fondness. While the stories have moved on, my love remains. All three of the following are on my Tumblr, but only Love is on both AO3 and FF.net.

Love

Tumblr link HERE.

Archive of our Own link HERE.

FF.net link HERE.

Even despite her little sisters' teasing about herself and Moses, it still takes a long time for Tzipporah to finally realise she IS deeply in love with Moses.

A Tumblr prompt response - Jethro’s POV on Tzipporah’s love for Moses

Modern AU Moses and Rameses prompt on Tumblr

#The Prince of Egypt #Prince of Egypt #fanfiction masterpost

[doomedandstoned]

Are You A Bible Basher?

~By Billy Goate~

Art by J. Hannan-Briggs

Words from the Bible,

                      ...riffs from Hell.

This is BIBLE BASHER, a lumbering, sludgey beast of a death-doom band, drawing its fellows from Kurokuma, Archelon, Spaztik Munkey, and a band whose name alone intrigues me enough to spirit them out: Temple of Coke. The debut recording before us is 'Loud Wailing' (2020), just released last month on the Sludgelord Records Label and it's good stuff.

Chances are good that if you're unfamiliar with the band, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop: what's the agenda here? It bears mentioning that "Bible Basher" is an almost uniquely UK term. In the States, we tend to use the more politically acceptable (though still insulting) "Bible Thumper." Getting to the point: a Bible Basher is not someone who subjects the big black book and the pages there to beating, maiming, or otherwise spilling syrup on its Holy Writ nor turning its sacred pages into roll paper for a cheap high.

No, a Bible Basher is someone single-mindedly determined to bash you with their beliefs, clean across the head. You gotta get you on board with the whole worldview, the Last Days manifesto, the 3 steps to this place, the 5 steps to somewhere else, and however many more steps to the sanctuary doors. Usually, this evangelism has all the clumsy subtlety of a Jack Chick tract left on the Gas Station john. Sometimes it gets a bit more intrusive, like a manic street preacher with a megaphone or, more annoying still, a brainwashed politician determined to fence you into their highly selective idea of "God's Will."

All culture warring aside, it might surprise you to learn that I hold a great deal of respect for the Bible and believe it has an important role in developing our understanding of what makes human beings so fundamentally religious. The Bible is just one expression of people's religious and spiritual identity, of course. There have been many volumes written, by the gods it was said, attempting to reconcile the real and the ideal, time and eternity, the drab and the divine.

All fancy preambling aside, I wonder why more bands haven't gotten into the Bible and other sacred/profane lit, you know kinda breathing new life into old words? You have to admit, the concept is fascinating and the medium of expression surprisingly fits the unsparing nature of the content.

Perhaps afraid of appearing sacrilegious or being denounced as a Deicide wannabe, bands have just decided to walk away slowly. That or they don't even know how truly bizarre and sometimes brilliant the Bible can be. True, there are bands like Trouble/The Skull who have adapted Scripture into music, even succeeded in crossing over to a non-religious audience. Hell, The Byrds practically immortalized the words of The Preacher in Ecclesiastes back in '65 with that folk rock classic, 'Turn, Turn, Turn." Bible Basher are definitely onto a thing here.

Regardless of where you find a band called Bible Bash on the meter between "disgusting" and "fucking awesome, dude," they really aren't here to mock Scripture or Christians, not even to pronounce a value judgement. This is an artful attempt at retelling the stories of old, allowing us to gaze upon their vision.

☩

So Samson Sang

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

Out of all books, The Bible is perhaps most prized for its collection of ancient stories, many of which become embedded in our collective consciousness over time (if not the unconscious mind itself). The tale of Samson, for instance, is practically universal (Hercules, anyone?). Bible Basher invoke its powerful imagery for this Rage against the Philistines opener. The bulldog gruff of "So Samson Sang" suits the song unexpectedly well. Perhaps the impact is greater because we feel the punch of each word, measured and metered, calculated to leave the most indelible impact.

Simson verslaat de Filistijnen met een ezelskaak (1562) by Cornelis Massijs

Plagued

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

You'll never hear the anguish of Job expressed with as much weight as you will in "Burning and Blackened," for example. And the death-mongers among us, you'll enjoy the swirling storm of blast beats that "Plagued" stirs up and whips around Egypt, 10 plagues in all it is said. As this topsy-turvy number swarms along, the song feels like it's burrowing itself deeper and deeper into the ground in a crazed hypnotic dirge, as if seeking some relief from this madness of rivers turned to blood and a head full of lice.

Seventh Plague of Egypt (1823) by Martin John

Burning and Blackened

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

I'm really digging the Middle Eastern vibe of "Burning and Blackened," on the tape's flip side. I could all but feel the cool of dawn and that first burning lick of the sun's rise. As a die-hard doomer, it won't surprise you that I marked this my favorite song of the experience. The way this grand skeleton of chords suffles about had me thinking of Iowa City's Aseethe (I hereby wish an Aseethe-Bible Basher tour upon the world come 2021).

Job and his Friends (1885) by Gustave Dore

Sodom & Gomorrah

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

By the time we reach "Sodom & Gomorrah," we're battered, basted, and baked, ready for a fine finish to this four-course nosh. The vocals seem harsher than usual this time, but you have to understand that's the prophet divining judgement upon the most infamous twin cities of history (we find out in the interview to follow that there are multiple vocalists).

The whole song's got a nice, chewy groove to it. Plenty of meat on them bones. The lyrics consist of nothing more than the Bible's words, adding as much expressive liberty as death vocals will allow. The thick, smoky atmosphere of this whole song gave me flashbacks to 71TONMAN's "Phobia" and Old Man Gloom's "Procession of the Wounded."

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah by Jules-Joseph-Augustin Laurens

If I've any gripe with Loud Wailing, it's the runtime. Okay, yeah, sure, it's appropriate for an EP, but I can't shake the feeling that this is actually more of a teaser for something even grander in scope. Perhaps this is a toe in the water for the band, to see how people respond? Well, it's enough to reassure us that this sound and subject matter is poised to make some mighty big footprints.

Heck, I'd do the whole Bible book by book, if I was in their shoes. 66 in all, right? No problem. Okay, 73 if you're Catholic, 78 if you're Eastern Orthodox. Whatever, bonus editions. Works either way, 'cause you've got a guaranteed record deal and freaks like me to follow you wherever this piper lures. The band can break up from the repetitive bore of the long-ass genealogies in Leviticus and Numbers, but then reunite again to take on Deuteronomy.

All kidding aside, the dramatic potential of this collaboration is unreal. Bible Basher's debut is a promising record that presents tantalizing artistic possibilities (perhaps even with a roving collective of performers). The EP wears well on its own terms with repeated listens and I never found myself disinterested, even for a moment. Loud Wailing is the brutal dawning of a New Age in dirty grunts and dank riffs.

Give ear...

Loud Wailing by Bible Basher

An Interview with Bible Basher

By Billy Goate

Intrigued by this hulking beast shrieking out in my backyard, I had to move in for a closer look. Following is my conversation with band member Joe E. Allen, who most of us know from Kurokuma and gives us insight as to who Bible Basher is and what the band is up to.

☩

Would you be so kind as to give me some background on the band, how you guys ended up coming together, basically the whole history?

Tich has recorded and helped produce most of the Kurokuma releases up till now, most of which you've heard or written about. Tich mostly makes electronic music and is pretty well known for it, but he was also in a band called Temple of Coke back in the day. Daft music with two guitarists and no bassist. Some big riffs in there.

They stopped doing much after one of the guitarists left Sheffield, but Tich still had a lot of riffs lying around. Obviously, he used to come to a lot of Kurokuma gigs in Sheffield -- and even saw us in Japan -- so he felt like getting back on writing some big guitar stuff and asked me if I'd give him some input. Over the course of a year or so we just reshaped those old riffs and added plenty of new ones and as we progressed it just kept getting bigger and heavier.

What's up with the name? You've got pretty distinct religious themes (love the motto). I come from a strict religious background myself (preacher's kid). What are your own backgrounds relative to the themes you explore?

I've always thought that some of the stories from the Bible, especially the Old Testament would make for perfect concepts in heavy metal. Unrelatedly, one day we were sitting around and Tich said let's call this Bible Basher -- it just came out of nowhere. I agreed, it just seemed to make sense. Here in the UK it's what you get called if you go to church, it's an insult. I had a really Christian upbringing with my dad being a vicar, as well, so was very into all that when I was younger.

Plus I went to a religious school, so I've definitely been called a bible basher quite a bit. It's actually taken me a while to remove that whole paradigm from the way I see reality, but that's another story. Tich wasn't like me in that aspect, but he did go to a religious school, as well. At this point, I think we're both not massive fans of organised religion, but that doesn't mean we're not into philosophy and more celestial concepts. We've both read quite a bit of things like Manly P. Hall and The Kybalion. We didn't wanna make a "statement" on anything with this, though. Just wanted to present it "as is."

I'm sure we'd all love to know how the individual tracks came together. The single on this one was "So Samson Sang," which met with some pretty positive reception.

I know the Bible pretty well and it wasn't too difficult to find concepts for the tracks. "So Samson Sang" was the first one we did. The lyrics are: "With a donkey's jawbone, I made donkeys of them. With a donkey's jawbone, killed a thousand men." And then "I have slain, heaps on heaps." They were from the book of Judges, when Samson slaughtered loads of Philistines, pretty much taken straight off the page. It was that easy. We got George in to do the vocals, for obvious reasons. We sat on the track for a bit and sent it round a few mates and everyone was like, "This is sick," which made us want to finish up the other tracks, which already were mostly done.

The other three tracks all came together in one night. We basically asked three mates from other bands to come over and figured out concepts for each of them. It was good to get their input and it was pretty collaborative. I think they all enjoyed being given a bit of a brief to work within and we were buzzing to end up with four different vocal styles for each track. So on track 1 you have George from Kurokuma, then on track 2 you have Bing who used to be in a thrash band called Psython and can obviously do the really fast/rhythmic thing and his death growls were just spot on. That track ended up sounding like Pig Destroyer or something to me. Obviously, it's about the ten plagues of Egypt and the fast/swirling nature of the riffs just seemed to fit.

On track three, we have Craig from Archelon and Holy Spider, so I know him pretty well. He did more of a Neurosis style on the track about Job. That one starts off with a zurna, which is a pipe from the Middle East area. There's a spoken word section in the middle, a conversation between God and Satan. I actually only realised what this was when we were going through the Bible for the lyrics.

God calls all his angels together, Satan being one of them, and they get into this conversation where God is saying he likes Job and Satan is saying if his life went to shit, I wonder if he'd still worship you. So God is like, "Okay, go for it." It's stuff like this that fascinates me. I think there's a fairly deep message to be heard in that if you read into it, but most Christians won't. As a text of folkloric wisdom the Bible is pretty meaningful to me, but most Christians don't treat it in that way in my experience.

And then we have the demented squeals of Chris from Spaztik Munkey doing the voice of God on track four which is about Sodom and Gomorrah. It worked out well that the ending riff fit perfectly with the syllables in the phrase "Sodom and Gomorrah."

In general, this release was a right laugh to work on. The songs just came together and it was good for us all to collaborate on something outside of our normal bands. And the response has been mega positive so far. Aaron sold out the first 50 tapes in three days so we're already on the second batch now.

Get Their Music

#D&S Reviews #Bible Basher #Doom #Sludge #Metal #Death Doom #Doom Metal #Sludgelord Records #HeavyBest2020 #D&S Interviews #Doomed & Stoned

[ofmusingsxandmayhem-a]

Closed starter for @missionimmortal​

It was long overdue. Ever since Egypt, Dom’s life had felt like one big, bubbling mess and it was as though he were a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. He was dealing with his PTSD relatively well, at least according to his therapist, but as nice as she was, he felt like it was all just lip service when he still flinched at unexpected touches and avoided small spaces like the plague. 

Still, when she had suggested that he take a trip somewhere, get away from his routine and try to relax his mind, he wasn’t about to dispute it. Booking the first flight he could from Heathrow, he found himself in a small town in the south of Spain, with a small hotel room away from busy crowds. It was ideal, just what he needed. It was as though even just breathing the fresh air in another country had lifted his spirits.

Though four days into his blissful vacation, Dom began to feel uneasy. Something wasn’t right. A shadow, moving out of the corner of his eye, but never quite there when he looked. He had been doing this job long enough to know when he was being followed. Something was definitely wrong, and as he picked up the pace through the streets of the town, he made a b-line for his hotel. 

#missionimmortal #thread: dom hughes

[emptymanuscript]

I think the problem with knowing one tiny piece of one tiny thing of a vast subject well is that it makes everyone look like they don’t know what they’re talking about. Even the people who generally seem to know their stuff otherwise. 

Because as I go around looking at people talking about ancient Egypt and ancient Egyptian (Kemetic) belief, I’ll freely admit I’m not an expert, that’s why I’m looking. But then they talk about Osiris.

It’s like oh, yeah, Osiris, the god of omnipotence (face palm) and omniscience (say which) or (so much worse) the creator god (Just f*ing no), embodiment of netert (feminie) / neter (male) / neteru (many) divine energy that comes before Ma’at (balance, harmony, “order”-ish, etc.).

And I am a sad panda.

One of the hardest things to wrap your mind around is that Egypt is old. Really old. Like, the environment described in ancient texts isn’t visible anymore old. The place was a breadbasket, rich with vegetation and life.

Hor-Aha, the second Pharoh of the First Dynasty - his predecessor is where we usually start counting Egypt from but we don’t have anywhere as firm a date for the first guy - ascended to the throne, we’re really very sure, somewhen between 3218 bce and 3035 bce. And yeah, at 5000 years in time, a 200 year uncertainty is pretty good. 

And that’s not where all these mythologies started. 

Kherty-Aken, the real deity I based my fictional character on, predates the First Dynasty. 

Which wouldn’t matter except that the guy who replaced him was Anubis. Who is the deity you probably actually think of if someone says, “Quick, who’s the Egyptian god of death.” Anubis became ruler of the underworld and Kherty-Aken became the chief of Anubis’s boatmen. Powerful but definitely a servant to the new king. 

Note that I’m not giving a legend. I’m not saying there is a story out there somewhere of Anubis conquering the underworld and peace was made by the old King becoming one of his greatest servants. What I’m saying is history. One culture’s mythologies came to dominate anothers and in so doing the legends were overwritten so that the gods took on a different configuration. 

Which happens all the time on long enough time scales. How many wise men were there? Nope. Check again. That’s a story that has drifted. We’ve changed it over time. And while that might not be a real important detail (depending on who you ask) that’s a pretty important story to have an identifiable change in.

Which brings us to Osiris. Osiris was probably maybe called something like Usir originally, and was a local deity from the area of Busiris in Lower Egypt. Usir might possibly maybe be named after the place but it’s more likely that the place is named after the deity as his temples were P-Usiri. Much more definitively, Osiris was a Cthonic deity. Cthonic - god I love that word, probably saying it wrong and I’m not even bothered. Cthonic.

Cthonic literally means subterranean, the underworld. Many death gods are Cthonic. Many non-death gods are Cthonic or have Cthonic associations. But the parallel you really want to look at for Osiris is Persephone. Cthonic as both a death association and as an association with fecundity - the soil is rich and full of life when you dig down deep. 

If you want to draw on other Egyptian comparisons there is Geb, the male / Earth partner of the Earth & Sky duo who fathered many of the more familiar gods in many traditions. Which has some particular resonance given that Osiris fathered Horus after death. But the association was much more the circle of life. Osiris died, was born into power in the underworld, and his death and power gave new life to the living world above. 

That’s the real fundamental of him. The old deprecated idea is a sacrificial god - a deity that dies so that all the rest of us can get the blessings of its power. Which should also probably (and in this case unfortunately) sound familiar. 

Somewhere around the time of the switch over of the 4th and 5th dynasties of Egypt - 2400 bce ish - so, you know, around 800 years or so, no big whoop, I mean where were we 800 years ago? Black Plague hadn’t even happened yet. -is when Osiris gets cemented in association with Kingship in general, rather than being a specific King. Now Osiris seems to have always been a pretty decent fellow as gods go. But once you’re the embodiment of the dead and honored King and after that the embodiement of every dead male - people are going to think well of you. And lots of nice things accumulated to him. 

Which means he sticks around. He’s got something for everybody. And when, thousands of years later, another sacrficial god comes to prominence, it was easy to make associations. And the worship of Osiris continued in mystery cults and secret societies out into the modern new age movement. Because the old gods continue. They just live in the symbols. 

Jesus is similar in a lot of ways. But he is very strongly immersed in the tradition of monotheism. He is not a god of A thing or Things. He is God. God itself is singular but plural. Etc. And that’s what people are raised with. So, when they discover Osiris, the temptation is STRONG to apply the same rules and associations. Osiris becomes the embodiment of one into manyness. Osiris becomes the embodiment of the energetic spiritual force. And all this other crap.

But... in a very profound way, that’s not true. Osiris is a death god. As far as we can tell, he has always primarily been a death god. It’s true that that death has always been a good (if tragic) and beneficial thing. But it was still death. Kingship came later. Everything else... view with suspicion. Even the weighing of the heart which Osiris supervised was actually done by his servants. 

And pretty much everyone seems to want to put on a little bit more and have him represent some little bit else. And that’s fine for fiction. I have no problems with it for fiction. It’s when it’s trying to present itself as real information. Nope. Don’t like it. Though I also have to wonder how much I am dismissing because of people getting one detail, which is actually fairly tiny given everything, wrong.

oh, well. 

#rant #egypt #research #watch me work #watch me not work

[thetygre]

 30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #4: Favorite Mummy

1.) Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo)

There’s something to be said for loss of Boris Karloff’s tragedy and nuance with the 1999 Imhotep, but you know what else Boris Karloff’s mummy didn’t have? Style, baby. And reboot Imhotep had style for days. Summon the plagues of the Old Testament, raise more mummies from the dead, shape the very elements to his will; Imhotep was a force. Could that same character have been done with more subtlety and a deeper backstory? Yes, of course. But the real question is; would it have been as fun?

Also, let’s talk about character design here. Mummies don’t really offer a broad range of options in terms of character design. No matter how much jewelry or old robes you put on them, they’re always going to be covered in bandages. But the reboot, like Karloff, got around that by offering different designs and costumes for different states of regeneration. Starting with a desiccated corpse and evolving to a full-blown high priest, with each stage having its own personality. My personal favorite is probably the second form, with the mask. Masked undead are always a little bit extra creepy. The ability to fit that much creativity into the character design ties to the spectacle of Imhotep as a villain, and that, more than anything, is the character’s strength.

2.) Imhotep (Boris Karloff)

Karloff’s mummy is the mature one, the sympathetic one. If the mummy as a monster can be said to have tragedy or deeper meaning, than Karloff embodies that in his character. His Imhotep is a man lost in time, desperate to reconnect to the world he is lost. But at the same time, he is very much a monster; he is a punishment for disturbing the past. Mummies are ultimately rooted in Gothic horror, and, similar to ghosts, remind us of the horror of history and the sins of our ancestors. In addition, mummies, like Frankenstein’s monster, are born from man attempting to meddle with things that humanity simply is not meant to know, whether that’s knowledge or literally just going into somewhere with a big ‘keep out’ sign. Karloff’s mummy conveys both aspects of the mummy creature as an archetype. It’s just, y’know, he doesn’t breathe locusts or summon sandstorms.

3.) Tomb Kings (Warhammer)

This might be kind of cheating since the Tomb Kings are as much skeletons as they are mummies, but they’re all generally ancient Egyptian themed. While they lack that certain punch that their 40k equivalent the Necrons have, the Tomb Kings make up for it in aesthetic. Even the most basic soldiers are dressed up in bronze and gold. On top of that, Tomb Kings aren’t just human mummies either; horses, scorpions, and even sphinxes are all part of the Tomb Kings’ forces. The Tomb Kings are a demonstration of just what can be done with the idea of mummies when you put your imagination into it.

4.) The Arisen (Mummy: The Curse)

The late child of the New World of Darkness, the Arisen are the preserved mages of an ancient magical empire that existed in Earth’s prehistory. The Arisen are a blend of Karloff and Vosloo, mixing spectacular magical powers with the somber reality of the passing of time. Each Arisen can rise from their slumber for only brief periods of time, and each time they lose a little more of their memories. They are some of the most powerful, indestructible entities in the World of Darkness, but they have to operate on a time limit. It’s the idea of how unfathomably ancient the Arisen are that gets me; predating humanity, watching all civilization rise and fall. It takes the idea of mummies as guardians to an entirely new level.

5. ) The God of the Valley (Discworld)

It’s kind of hard to talk about this one for spoilery reasons. Pyramids has mummies galore in it, but there are a few that stand out. But this one makes us think about how mummies can reflect aspects of even modern culture. He makes us question things like duty, responsibility, and tradition. The borderline between ritual, respect, and insanity isn’t always as clear as we would like it to be, and it’s even more complicated when that ambiguity is simultaneously toxic and necessary. Also, for aforementioned spoilery reasons and just a general lack of fan art for the Pyramids Discworld novel, no pic unfortunately.

6.) The Boneguard (Tailchaser’s Song)

Cat mummies! Tailchaser’s Song is a cat-focused fantasy, complete with an evil cat Sauron figure. Said evil cat overlord has a variety of minions, and his most disturbing are a group of apparently undead cats with psychic powers. While described more skeletal than desiccated, they’re given Egyptian names like ‘Bast-Imret’ which gives a pretty obvious nod to their inspiration. It’s well known the ancient Egyptians mummified cats as sacred animals, and I’m glad I was able to see something interesting and kind of creepy actually done with the idea.

7.) Saint Hakushin (Inuyasha)

Our first non-Egyptian mummy is a monster-of-the-week that I only even know about by chance from a random episode of Inuyasha. Hakushin is a sokushinbutsu, the mummified remains of a Buddhist priest who entered a state of mummification while still alive and then died from asceticism. Hundreds of monks have tried this process, but only a few have ever actually succeeded. Hakushin demonstrates that the idea of the mummy is not exclusive to Egypt, both as a death ritual and as usage for a monster. Mummies are universally uncanny in whatever culture they appear in, while at the same time evoking reverence and fascination.

8.) The Dead Ones (The Halloween Tree)

These mummies come to us from the catacombs of Mexico. The environment of the city of Guanajuato lends itself to a natural process similar to embalmment, preserving bodies in pristine condition. They are easily the most horrifying mummies I have ever seen, with their faces contorted by postmortem shifting. Ray Bradbury saw them once, and they terrified him out of Mexico. At the end of Ray Bradbury’s The Halloween Tree, our cast of characters is confronted with the catacombs and have to race through the mummies to save their friend. The book’s first adventure is actually in ancient Egypt in the tomb of a pharaoh, so this serves as a potent contrast. Egyptian mummies are created intentionally, made out of reverence and respect. But the mummies of Guanajuato were made by accident, unearthed when their families could not or would not pay the burial tax on their graves. They are a harsh reminder on the reality of death, a confrontation with what becomes of us after we are put in the earth, and something that is inevitable for everyone.

9.) The Fallen One (SyFy Channel Movie)

Giant mummy of a nephilim! First off, again, I love the idea of monster mummies made from something other than humans. Giants have an extra layer because it makes you imagine how bizarre the actual process of mummification must have been. This thing’s brain must have weighed at least twelve pounds and been the size of a pumpkin, but it was still pulled out through its nose by a hook. There’s also the ties to conspiracy theory lore here. The nephilhim, giants, and their remains have a significant theory in conspiracy lore, whether they’re the products of fallen angels, aliens, or both. And there’s only one thing to do with an idea that crazy; make a horror monster out of it! I don’t give a toss about the movie. It was so crappy I couldn’t even find a screenshot for it. You’ll have to settle for this giant mummy from Gatchaman instead.

10.) Mummy Gundam (G Gundam)

It counts. G Gundam was a trip, y’all. This is literally an old Pharaoh Gundam (there were multiple) that was destroyed in combat, mummified, and then resurrected by the Devil Gundam, giving it magic powers like bandage control and regeneration. Its pilot was mummified too, so there was just a straight-up mummy in bandages doing martial arts in the cockpit. See what I mean about this show being wild? I just love the image of a giant mech rising out of a sandstorm, like a piece of the landscape itself, combined with a mummy coming back for revenge. The gundam was never even alive and it still came back from the dead like some angry, vengeful god. That’s just straight up stupid fun.

#30 Day Monster Challenge 2 #30 Day Monster Challenge #mummy #mummies #the mummy #imhotep #mummy the curse #warhammer

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: May 17 - 31, 2018

And we are back to the long lists! Let's go ahead and pop into these honorable mentions.

Florence + the Machine - Hunger Midnattsol - The Aftermath Light Among Shadows - Leaves in the Wind Allamedah - Open Field Whist - School is Over Silentium - Heart Unyielding Halflives - Crown Meka Nism - Trailblazer Candlemass - House of Doom Lusus - Divine Madness Valora - Crashed Rage of Light - Judas (Lady Gaga cover) Meka Nism - These Years of Silent Screams Retribution - Retribution Dehydrated - Sickness (unplugged version) Aeonian Sorrow - Memory of Love Light Among Shadows - Don't Look Back Skyharbor - Dim Follow the Ciper - Play with Fire Vyces - Thin Luck Dream Ocean - Somewhere Untouched Lil Peep - 4 Gold Chains feat. Clams Casino Apparition - Home Sevi - Am I Alive? Pryapisme - Xenomorphs are Just Big Chickens After All Amorphis - Heart of the Giant Neverlight - Your Medusa Mariza - Barco Negro The Dresden Dolls - Coin-Operated Boy Trillium - Shards Amorphis - Amongst Stars feat. Anneke van Giersbergen

Now here are the MANY true obsessions.

1) Tesseract - Smile

Such a great track. It flows back and forth between being soft and ambient to being sludgy and in your face. I LOVE the belts in this track so much. They add such an interesting touch to it.

2) Neverlight - The Revenant

Decided to give this a listen after falling in love with Fractal and holy tits is this song gorgeous. I decided to give Nova Red a listen after hearing this, because this track is so lovely. I keep getting blown away by these symphonic metal bands from the States lately.

3) Emphasis - 53.7% Redemption Song

Soul Transfer is a very interesting album and is very proggy. This is one of the rather proggy tracks. The chorus packs such a punch even though it's so simple. It's all in the backing vocals and those unique riffs. Also I love the fact that each song has the percentage on them to show how far into the album you are.

64.3% The Metaphysics of Love

This song is so pretty. The strings in the chorus are everything and same goes to the harmonies in it. Such a gorgeous track. This and Redemption Song are my favorites off the album. They're just so good!

4) Elyose - Pour un écu

I finaly got around to listening to Ipso Facto and this track really stood out to me. It has more of a symphonic metal vibe to it at times and I love the exit of the chorus. Definitely packs a punch. It still baffles me that their front woman is so tiny and has such a powerful voice.

5) Celine Dion - Ashes

THIS IS HOW YOU PROMOTE A FUCKING MOVIE. I can't wait to be able to see Deadpool 2 and this song/video has increased the need even more. The song is absolutely divine and makes me want to actually dabble into Celine. "This thing only goes to 11, so beat it, Spiderman."

6) Conflict - Summertime Sadness (Lana Del Rey cover)

They did so good with this cover. At first I was worried that they were going to take a more aggressive approach with it, but they actually went rather ambient. Such a beautiful cover that captures the essence of the song very well. Love it.

7) Dimmu Borgir - Rite of Passage

This is how you close an album. Eonia was an interesting album and really enjoyed it. But this track, along with Sovereign, were my favorites. Sometimes you just need a rather simple track to make a huge impression. I never would've expected them to release a full on instrumental track, but they did and they blew it out of the park.

8) Cariosus - Reconciliation of the Anima

This is such a great death metal track. A nonstop assault from start to finish. I really need to check out more from these guys. In a similar situation with Justine from Elyose, it's shocking to hear how monstrous their frontman sounds given how he looks.

9) Caligula's Horse - Turntail

I'd heard of these guys before, so when I saw this pop up in the recommended videos, I had to check it out. So glad I did. Such a great prog track. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them sometime in the future. I need more prog bands like this to listen to.

10) Plugs of Apocalypse - Disappear

These guys keep dropping bomb singles left and right. It's a really pretty track and I wish I would've known they dropped an album last year, I would've checked it out. Getting back to this track. It evokes a lot of emotions and is very raw. Love the blend of the singers' voices on it.

11) Elvellon - The Puppeteer

This is their first single off their upcoming debut album, Until Dawn, and hOLY BALLS IS IT AMAZING. It's unlike anything off Spellbound. Probably their heaviest track they've released so far, or at least their darkest one yet. It's almost shocking to know this is the same band, because Nela is singing in a way she never really did on Spellbound and it really caught me off guard. I am so excited for the new album to drop!

12) InAeona - Sun Moon

Came across this song while listening to Soldier one day and it's pretty damn good. It's more on the proggy side than Soldier, but is still just as sludgy. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from these guys. Their sound is so different and unique in the prog scene.

13) Jonathan Young and Caleb Hyles - The Plagues (The Prince of Egypt) (metal version)

I loved the original version they did of this cover, but holy balls did they kill it with this metal version. The symphonic metal nerd in me lost my shit when this popped up. My only complaint is that I wish the guitars were a bit louder, but you have to remember they're not the focus here. But I'm obsessed with dramatic music and louder guitars would've pushed it that much further.

14) The Northern - Samsara

Randomly came across this metalcore track one day because the thumbnail looked pretty. It's a really great jam and I love how the drummer does some singing. Also, the video is fucking gorgeous. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from these guys.

15) Follow the Ciper - A Mind's Escape

This is such a fun track and shows a lot of different dimensions of the band. This was a great debut album for these guys. I'm typically not into bands like them, but gurl, their front woman's voice packs such an insane punch and the fact they have some growls going on in some of their tracks adds more to the package.

16) The End of Melancholy - Dolphins

After falling in love with The Demon, I had to check out more from them. This song is so gorgeous. It's nowhere near as aggressive as The Demon, but that don't mean shit when the song is bomb.

17) Post Malone - Rockstar feat. 21 Savage

Shit on me all you want, but this song is great. I blame Elders React. He has a really great voice and this track has a cool vibe to it. With that being said, I hate his look so much. He looks so trashy, but his music is pretty damn good.

18) Caligatum - Inocencia Abortada feat. Cristobal Aguilar Basulto (Elitania)

This song is absolutely gorgeous. The instrumentals, the choirs, the blending of Arianna and Cristobal's voices. So much yes. This is pure symphonic gothic metal at its finest. It's haunting, it's dark, it's gorgeous. What more can I say about it?

19) Apparition - Resonance

I decided to give their new album a listen after falling in love with The Dames of Darkness. These guys have a really fresh take on symphonic gothic metal and it really shows on this track. It has this softness that is so calming, but it's still very much a dramatic metal track. The intro is just absolutely lovely and really helps to set the mood of the song.

20) Crownless - Prophecy

I'm pretty sure I discovered these guys a few months ago, but I wasn't too wowed by them. But then I randomly came across this video and holy balls did I fall in love with it. This is one of the most insane symphonic power metal tracks I've ever heard. Their sound is so in your face at all times and the singer's voice is so strong and abrasive. So much yes. I had to listen to their new album and it's great.

That's it for the month of May! June is my birthday month, so let's hope I can find some great tunes to jam out to.

#Current Music Obsessions #me #music #blogger #Tesseract #djent #Neverlight #symphonic metal #Emphasis #progressive metal #Elyose #industrial metal #Celine Dion #pop #Conflict #atmospheric metal #Dimmu Borgir #black metal #Cariosus #death metal #Caligula's Horse #prog #Plugs of Apocalypse #nu metal #Elvellon #female fronted metal #InAeona #sludge #Jonathan Young #Caleb Hyles

[dailyaudiobible]

07/04/2019 DAB Transcript

2 Kings 23:31-25:30, Acts 22:17-23:10, Psalms 2:1-12, Proverbs 18:13

Today is the 4th day of July. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It’s wonderful to be here with you today. It’s a special day, like it’s a national holiday in the United States but it's also my wife Jill's birthday. So, happy birthday, Jill. Jill kind of shares a birthday with the United States. So, a festive celebration all day and fireworks tonight. Enjoy your day. It's wonderful to be here with you. No matter what the day may be or what the day may bring we come together around this global campfire and allow God's word to have a space in our day and it affects the rest of our day. And, so, off we go. We’re reading from the book of second Kings as I'm sure you are aware, but we’ll be concluding the book of second Kings today. So, the books of the Kings are about concluded, and we will move into the books of Chronicles starting tomorrow. So, today from the Christian Standard Bible, which is what we’re reading from this week. Second Kings chapter 23 verse 31 through 25 verse 30.

Commentary:

Okay. So, even as we’re here on the 4th of July and really finding us pretty well squarely in the center of this year, we have to acknowledge, busy as a day as this might be for a lot of us, really important, really monumental things are happening that very much set up all of the places that we’re going to go as we continue our journey through the Bible. In the Old Testament what we saw today was Babylon invade the southern kingdom of Judah. So, just by way of reminder, the northern kingdom of Israel, those 10 tribes, they were conquered. We read of that story and we talked about it then, by the Assyrian Empire. Those 10 tribes disappeared as cohesive tribes from that point forward. They were carried into exile. So, all that remained of the people that we've been traveling with practically since the beginning of the year, like all the way through Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, right, and then the story of Joseph and the people going to Egypt and becoming a people and the wilderness story and the promised land story, like all of the time that we've been spending in the Old Testament has been with these people. Today the only people left were Judah and Babylon invaded and conquered Jerusalem, the one city that had never fallen and the people were carried away into exile. So, what we have to understand is that the story that we've been following from the beginning of the Bible from Abraham, that story is over. The people were promised a land and they would live there in peace and harmony forever under his rule if they would simply obey him. And they simply did not. And, so, as we remember all of the blessings and the curses that were reported and recited on Mount Gerizim and Mount Ebal, well the curses have come true and they have been removed from the land. There is no Israel anymore and there is no Judah anymore. We will continue to follow the stories of these people and some of them will be able to return and even rebuild back in their homeland, but it's never going to be under their sovereign control like it was again. So, that's kind of a big deal. There is much territory to just continue to go through. And even as we watched Babylon conquer Jerusalem and then install, you know, vasil Kings, who had allegiance to Babylon, we’ll see that this took some time before finally, through rebellion, Babylon came and just leveled Jerusalem. Some of the goings-on that are happening in this tumultuous time we will get into further depth when we get into the writings of the prophets who were actually speaking into the situation as it was happening. So we have that in front of us, but it's important for us to realize we’re closing the books on part of the story and we have the perspective now, to know that if our allegiance and are reliance and our devotion is to God and God alone, and we humbly walk before the Lord, serving Him, then that a path, that's a path that leads somewhere. If we don't, like if we choose to live somewhere in the middle trying to live., like with 1 foot, like half of us aligned with God and the other half throughout really just kind of pursuing our own endeavors or if we’re just going to live in outright rebellion against the Lord, well then that’s a path and that goes somewhere. And as we sit here on the 4th of July closing the books on the invasion and destruction of Jerusalem, well, we've seen were both of those paths go and that allows us to choose where we might be headed and where it is we might want to end up

And then we can't just breeze by what's going on in the apostle Paul's life in Jerusalem in the New Testament. So, we watched the destruction of Jerusalem in the Old Testament, but then we’re back in Jerusalem and the New Testament. So, what's going on here? Well, what's going on is that a lot of time has passed and a lot of rebuilding has been done and we’ll see that story kind of flesh itself out, like I said, as we continue forward. Paul is a Pharisee, trained as a Pharisee. He’s back in Jerusalem because he's been all over the Roman Empire speaking the good news of Jesus and it's causing a stir everywhere, especially among the Jewish people. So, Paul comes back to Jerusalem where he is known. Like at one time he was deeply respected as a zealous Pharisee truly trying to live up to the law and obey God. Now he's considered an apostate who needs to be killed, and they're trying to find a way to kill Paul. And, so, we see that Paul now would be dead for sure had it not been for the Roman guard, had it not been for the Roman military who have arrested Paul, but all that his arrest is doing is protecting him. And we’ll have to watch this as we go forward, but Paul is now before the high Council. Okay? He’s before the elitist of the elite, the most scholarly, the most brilliant people in all of the Hebrew culture as it related to their religion, right? So, the Sanhedrin, the Pharisees and the Sadducees. So, the Sanhedrin was made up of these two groups of people, the Pharisees who believed in resurrection, in God's angels, in the existence of the spiritual realm, whereas the Sanhedrin, they denied those things. They essentially believed you have a human life and when you lay that life down in death you return to God. That’s that. Like there's no other goings-on. So the thing is, Paul was a Pharisee, right? It would have been very, very difficult for him as a Pharisee to have had that encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus and it make any sense to him because, had he been a Sadducee, like he wouldn’t have had the grid for this. It’s not like God couldn’t break in upon him, but he already believed in resurrection. So, when Jesus came to him on the road to Damascus, Jesus appearing to him in a way that he understood proved to him that how he had been following his spiritual path was correct. There had to be resurrection if Jesus was talking to him, right, because Jesus had been killed on a cross. So, Jif esus is talking to him on the road to Damascus, then He's alive. So, this was persuasive, fundamentally, foundational persuasive to Paul. So, Paul goes before the Sanhedrin today, he realizes the fundamental issue is a fundamental rift that's been going on in Judaism about resurrection and he’s able to say that I am on trial because of the resurrection. The reason that I am out around the Roman Empire, the known world, the reason I keep sailing around and going to different cities and talking about Jesus is the resurrection. So, he’d appealing to his fellow Pharisees who are on the same page about resurrection. They are not on the same page about Jesus of being resurrected, but they are on the same page about resurrection, which causes division, which simply exposes the deep canyon of a rift that existed in Judaism. So, we begin to see, you know, the disruptive time that the early church was born into. And once again it kind of takes off our rose-colored glasses about the early days, and the Holy Spirit came the tongues of fire and it was just all easy for everybody. People just wanted to be in the kingdom. That's…as we are seeing…that wasn't the climate. Like, it was definitely a tumultuous time. And as we continue through the New Testament we’ll see that it only got worse. So, that’s the lay of the land and its pretty big. Like, these are pretty fundamental, contextual things that we should understand if we’re trying to understand the context of the Bible and what it might be speaking to us.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You, thank You for this day, this day that we certainly celebrate Jill on her birthday but also our independence here in our nation. We also pray for all of the nations of the world that You would come by the power of Your Holy Spirit and set us free, that we would throw away all of our ideologies and convictions and customs and rituals and cultures in favor of Your kingdom, that we might begin to see ourselves as citizens of the kingdom of God. And as we watch where the paths in the Scriptures are taking us, help us Holy Spirit to apply these things to our lives. We've seen paths in the Old Testament that led to victory against all odds, and we've also seen stories that led to complete destruction and they were all foretold, they were all in plain black and white before everyone and they chose and were choosing too. And even as we continue our journey along with the apostle Paul and we see the formation of the early church, we see that the issues that were plaguing people then are plaguing people now and we still need the power of Your Holy Spirit, but You are not withholding the power of Your Holy Spirit, we are rejecting it in favor of our own strength which continually causes disruption and division and that's not the path we’re wanting to walk. So, come Holy Spirit. We can look at the world and we can point out all the evils and we can say if people would just get on the same page about this or that or the other then things could change, but it really does begin with us. And, so, Holy Spirit come to us and show us how You are transforming and changing the way that we see everything. Come Jesus we pray in Your mighty name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, it’s home base, it’s where you find out what's up, what’s going on around here.

And what's up immediately going on around here is that this Sunday, the 7th of July, is our annual Daily Audio Bible long walk. Little tradition we have here. Our own little holiday that we celebrate and it's a beautiful, beautiful day to kinda take in so much of what we were just talking about. What path am I on? Where am I going? Where are you leading me? What's happening? Because the crush of life, the world pulls us away from God and then when things go south or badly for us we’re mad at God when it was the fact that we followed the path, the way of the world. So, the 7th of July, the long walk is an opportunity go like, this one day I'm setting this one day, like it's off the grid. No one, nothing is taking this day for me. Like, I'm circling this. I'm going and I'm checking out, I’m unplugging. I’m going away with God and I’m gonna go for a long walk and I'm gonna talk until I have nothing left to say and I'm gonna listen until He is done speaking. I'm gonna walk out of this day knowing where I am going for the rest of the year, knowing how to proceed. That’s the long walk  and it’s something that we should be doing like every day on a regular basis, but the world, it's very distracting. So, we need to remove those distractions for a day and reorient ourselves. Go somewhere beautiful. This is something that you do individually even though you will be doing it with tens of thousands of people. Go somewhere beautiful. Whether you just walk out your front door and it happens to be beautiful down the street or whether you need to get in your car and get out of town and go somewhere, wherever is calling to you. Go there and walk and talk and sit in silence and listen to the world and the life that is happening all around you, and you never even notice. That’s the long walk. What makes it a community experience is that you just, you know, take your phone or a camera or something and snap a picture, take a little video of a where you went and post that back to Facebook, so facebook.com/dailyaudiobible and then then we all get to kind of see our own long walks, we’ll see so many others like little windows into each other's lives, little windows into your part of the world, your neck of the woods as we say here in the South. So, make plans for that. It's Sunday this year, which makes it fairly convenient. I am looking forward to it and I’m looking forward to seeing all your pictures and your videos. It’s a highlight of the year for me. So, I’m looking forward to seeing that all open up.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link. It lives on the homepage. I thank you humbly and profoundly for your partnership. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253, is the number to dial.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DAB family this is Claire in California. I’m on my second year listening to the DAB and this is actually the first year that I have been listening all the way through every day. I have a prayer request. Yesterday I got a diagnosis of ovarian cancer and I just need prayer against fear because there’s a lot of that and I would like prayer for an overwhelming strength of faith to come over me, that all doubt would just be pushed out. I would like prayer for the comfort of my little girl, she’s four and I just…she is…I’ve tried not to give her to many details but she’s very empathetic and she knows that something’s going on. So, I just…I want to pray comfort for her and that you…that __ would just help me to help her to find comfort in Him. And I just also would like to pray for blessings over my friends and family who are stepping up and being there for me. And it’s just overwhelming. Thank you so much for all of your support and thank you for this program, this podcast. It’s been a life changer for me. I love you all. Bye.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family, this is To Be a Blessing in California. I wanted to just let people know who are working driving trucks or cabs or buses or whatever that my prayers are with you. I was on the road today and admittedly flying along, it’s true. I was going 80 miles an hour and people were passing by. I had to move over to the slow lane because I was in their way and just made me think about the challenges that people who drive for a living have. So, know that you’re in my prayers. Terry the Trucker, I’m thinking about you and what you are facing. Wanted to let Blind Tony know that I’ve sure been enjoying your poetry and continue to pray for you. Lee, whenever I hear you’re talking, the first few seconds it brings a smile to my face because I know that you’re going to be saying some awesome prayers. And covetousness, boy I tell ya, I’ve that down in spades and asking God to relieve me of that. Rebecca, praying for you and your need for additional work. So, God bless you in your pursuits because I know He’s gonna take care of you. God bless each and every one of you. I’ll be in touch again. To Be a Blessing in California. Bye-bye.

Fill up the gifts within me Father that I might truly be a blessing help me Father clearly see my sins that need confessing I’m hardheaded Father and I’m stubborn at times and I’m very impatient with my old friend still committing stupid crimes it’s really hard for me to believe that they really can’t see that without your protection how dead they would be but it’s always easy to see the splinter in someone else’s eye help me Father to clearly see my own sins to accept them not deny for we all fall short and that’s true without a doubt but it’s also true that there’s no one that You can’t restore and bring out from destructive behavior patterns and hardened heart no one you can’t heal Father and no one you can’t grant a new start but each man must work out his own salvation with fear and trembling and meticulous care help me to keep my focus on my own self because each man has his own cross to bear but each man also has his own gift help me Father to use it and not to abuse it to be a source of light and salt and bring all my unproductive habits to a definitive screeching halt you said if we freely confess our sins that you are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us all unrighteousness give me clean hands and a pure heart father so that I can offer to you my very best stir up the gifts within me and help me to truly be a blessing and help me father clearly see those sins in my life that need confessing

[email protected]. Like to give a shout out to Mike Greenberg and SarahJane behind the scenes, know you’re in my prayers every day and once again Brian and Hardin family, thank you for this wonderful podcast for God’s Holy Spirit flow keep it flowin’ y’all. All right. Bye-bye.

Hi this is Cherry from Claremore Oklahoma, the Tulsa area. Cherry and Greg. Greg’s sittin’ here by me right now. The reason I’m calling, he’s just been…well he’s a paratrooper in the military and like a lot of those guys, most of the paratroopers, he’s got…well he has three discs basically gone __ and through that he’s got neuropathy in the feet because of damaged nervous and things. And then he’s got something called cerebellar ataxia where the cerebellum is enlarged. __ and kinda causes some mobility issues. Then he had a brain bleed a year ago and he had two brain surgeries within two days and he’s just kind of been chewed up and spit out and for the first time in my life I do have this…this knowing that he’s gonna be restored, but right now…and he’s a fighter…I mean…this guy…I’ve seen him juts take bashings and don’t blink an eye but he’s in so much pain. I mean, he just sits there and like tears…not boohooing, but, you know, just the pain, tears streaming down. And this is just constant…chronic…it never ends. You don’t sleep at night. I just need prayer for his healing. However, I know God can do it like right now. And he’s just gotta have relief. It’s been too many years since this going on. So, you guy, I know you pray and that’s what I’m calling for and that’s what we need. And…I don’t know…I forgot to set my clock…it’s been over two minutes into this yet or not but, you want to just…[Greg’s voice] I love God.

[keywestlou]

TRUMP NOMINATED FOR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW

There is still a humor in things Donald Trump.

He has been nominated for the second consecutive year for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Wonder of wonders!

I am not concerned about his winning. It would be both a surprise and shock.

Son in law Jared Kushner was nominated last week for the Award also.

Neither will win.

The nomination is no big deal. Each year 300-400 persons are nominated. Only 1 or 2 will win. Anyone of stature may do the nominating. A college professor or officer, a political leader, are examples.

This year Trump was nominated by an Estonian member of the European Parliament Jaak Madison. His reasons for the nomination were two fold. First, Trump is the first American President in 30 years who did not start a war. Second, Trump signed several peace agreements in the Middle East which helped provide stability in the region and peace.

I am 85 years old. Still waiting for my coronavirus vaccine shot. Different County locales have been opened for the purpose of providing the shots. The problem is there has never been enough shots.

It has been announced the College of Florida Keys will be providing vaccine shots beginning sunday. The College is going to work off the Health Department’s application list in determining in what order the shots will be given.

Sunday’s shots will be provided those 65 and older. I should qualify. I qualified when the age was 75 and could not get it.

Four hundred vaccines are available for sunday. It is expected that by the weekend, 300 additional shots will be received.

Each a pittance. Better than none, however.

Let’s hope all goes as planed. Let’s hope that all such as myself 20 years over the minimal age limit finally get the shot.

The Democratic Party concerns me. They have for years. Especially since Obama took office.

Democrats are good guys. They do not know how to fight dirty.

Republicans fight dirty. Democrats not. They continue to be legislative gentlemen in the tradition of old.

No way to fight.

It is tit for tat and a bit more. The Democrats have to learn to be like Republicans when it comes to fighting dirty. The Republicans need to be taught a lesson. Hit them first. If not, hit them harder when they hit first.

Otherwise, nothing is ever going to get done.

Trump’s impeachment trial before the Senate begins tuesday. The Trump defense is two fold. One is he is no longer President and therefore cannot be tried for impeachment. The other, and a new one, is that Trump continues to believe he is still President and has done nothing wrong. Therefore, he cannot be impeached.

Two inconsistencies meeting. A Catch-22 situation. The trial will be an interesting one.

The CDC announced friday all persons using public transportation in the U.S. must wear masks. The masks must be 2 layers which I assume means 2 layers of material. Additionally, the masks must be secured to the head.

Violation will result in arrest.

Oregon is a first in the nation. Oregon has decriminalized all illegal drugs. Such includes cocaine, heroin,and meth. Persons caught using drugs can be apprehended. However they can opt for rehabilitation rather than jail.

Today Santorini! A marvel! One of the most beautiful places in the world, if not the most. Hope you enjoy.

Day 8…..Greece the First Time

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Key WestLou

When I saw Key West for the first time twenty five years ago, I knew almost immediately it was a place I wanted to be. So too with Santorini.

You just know.

My day yesterday started with an early morning flight from Athens to Santorini. Olympic Airlines. A one half hour flight. On a big jet. Packed.

The plane took off. The pilot said we are heading to an elevation of 17,000 feet. Once we reached that point, the plane started its descent. You got it! The plane ride was an ascent to 17,000 feet and then an immediate descent into the Santorini airport.

Again young stewardesses. That is the word. Stewardesses. Thin. No more than size 4s. Hair swept back and up. For the little hats they perched on their heads when we landed.

Nikos met me at the airport. I never had met nor known Nikos before. Nikos and his wife Maria own some cave houses which they rent out. I was booked into one of those cave houses.

Nikos about 5′ 6″. Thin. Muscle bound. I would estimate around 60. Skin tough and weather beaten by the sun.

He embraced me like a long lost friend. A mutual acquaintance had arranged for me to stay at Nikos’ place. Nikos pointed out on the drive to his caves that he never picks anyone up at the airport. He was only doing so because a mutual friend had told him to take good care of me. I was grateful

The formal name of the caves is Filotera Cave Houses. I do not know what filotera means. I googled it and could only come up with a list of motels, hotels and other cave accommodations on Santorini. Everything is filotera here.

The ride from the airport was an experience. Uncomfortable.

Nikos’ place was an hour drive from the airport. Straight up a hill. Mountain may be a better description. A very narrow two lane road with a drop off on the upward side thousands of feet into the sea. I was up up and away.

Drivers speed here. They come at each other at horrendous speeds. The road was very curvy. At every turn I saw an accident in the making. Especially when a bus came at us!

The views were spectacular. The heights dramatic. I have never been closer to God. In more ways than one.

Maria met us. Her appearance as her husband’s, except Maria was shorter and on the heavy side. It was hugs and kisses all around. I met the whole family. Daughter and grandchildren.

It was Maria’s birthday. She sent a piece of her birthday cake to my cave.

These caves are another world.

Santorini was once one large island. About 1,500 years before Christ (everything is before Christ in this part of the world), there was a huge volcanic explosion. Reportedly the largest ever known to man before and since. Broke Santorini into several islands. Santorini the largest.

The very first volcano was a long time back. Six hundred fifty thousand years. ago. The most recent in 1950.

Natural tragedy appears common to the area. There was a violent earthquake in 1956 which destroyed many old structures on the island. Earthquakes and I are becoming common place on this trip.

One side of Santorini ended up being a very high and steep cliff running from the heavens thousands of feet into the ocean. Caves developed. Home for me is one of those caves. Fear not, the accommodations are wonderful. Do not let the term caves scare you. All modern amenities. Only negative, no windows. Not for the claustrophobic. I have my own small white terrace hewed out of the cliff in front. A place where one can sit and contemplate his navel.

I can see the four islands made by the volcanic eruption. The eruption actually split a big island down the middle into two islands as well as several small ones. Smoke and sulfur can still be seen coming from the volcano itself.

Tradition has many tales. It is claimed that Santorini is the place where Moses and his people made their exodus from Egypt. The plagues which afflicted the Pharaoh and Egyptians are the same as were experienced on Santorini at the time of the volcanic eruption. Also, the breaking up of the island is said to reflect the parting of the waters by Moses. Another historical claim  is that the Atlantis of old was a part of Santorini and now lies somewhere below the sea in the area.

The waters are extremely deep around Santorini. Especially in the area of the volcano. So the tale may have some truth.

Sunset is big here. As in Key West. I rarely go to a sunset anymore in Key West. Seen one, seen them all. Too many people.

I went to the sunset last night. When in Rome, etc. Never again.

The sunset was around a corner of the island. I had about a one mile walk to it. Uphill all the way. Sometimes at a 45 degree angle. Steps everywhere. No consistency between the distance or height of each. The paved area marble. Slippery.

I was exhausted when I arrived at the anointed place. Pleased I had not fallen. Crushed into and with a mass of people just as in Mallory Square.

My sunset hours the rest of this trip will be spent on my little terrace with a drink in hand.

Many outdoor cafes along the top of the cliff. I stopped at one and enjoyed a delicious dish of moussaka. Prices dramatically cheap.

Then back to my cave and sleep. The weather cool. I slept like a baby all night. The first time I have done so this trip.

This morning there was a knock on the cave door. Yes, there are doors. It was a boy with coffee and bread. Nikos had sent them to me for breakfast. The bread was hot. Just out of the oven. I broke off a chunk and enjoyed.

More tomorrow. Do not miss any of it. This is one exciting place!

Enjoy your day!

TRUMP NOMINATED FOR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW was originally published on Key West Lou

[babbushka]

I NEED PASSOVER PROMPT ONE

(we know I love Paterson and am a sucker for anything written for him but you can decide who you’d like to write it for 🥺)

A/N: Thank you so much for asking!! Pat is such a mensch, I couldn’t resist jumping on this prompt :) I hope you enjoy it! 

1.4k, no warnings just fluff and humor :) Jewish!Paterson x Jewish!Reader

He listens to the rhythmic sound of the wipers, as they steadily swish away a light rain that pitter-patters on the windshield. Paterson drives through the winding upstate New Jersey roads, you in the passenger seat next to him, and his friend Doc the bartender, in the backseat. Paterson had celebrated Pesach with you for many years now, even before you were married and he could only call you his girlfriend, but the addition of his friend is a new one.

Doc had mentioned off-handedly a couple days ago that he knew the Jewish holiday was coming up, but had never experienced it for himself. Paterson brought it up on one of his nightly visits for his single beer, and Doc had been interested enough to agree to join you and him for Seder. 

Now though, as they’re all on their way to Paterson’s mom’s house, Doc realizes that he has no idea what he’s getting himself into, especially as Paterson is explaining it to him, prompting him to ask,

“What do you mean there’s fifteen steps?”

You chuckle just a little at the surprise in his voice, and even Paterson’s dimples make an appearance.

“I think last year it was three hours before we even got to eat.” He says, his eyes flicking up to Doc’s in the rearview to give him a friendly smile, “But that was because my cousin kept interrupting.”

“Three hours?” Doc groans,  “Pat tell me you’re joking. I haven’t eaten all day!”

To prove his point, a loud stomach growl sounds from the backseat, and Paterson’s smile turns into a full on chuckle of his own, as you’re doing your best to not encourage him too much over in your seat. In your lap is a big Tupperware of matzah toffee, a coveted recipe that you’re tempted to let Doc try now to hold the poor man over.

“No one told you to fast.” Paterson says, his voice soft and only a little teasing, “Only the first-born in every family fasts the night before Passover.”

“Wish I had known that now, I’m starving.” Doc grumbles, his normal steady mood shifting into something a little exasperated when he wonders aloud, “What even are these fifteen steps?”

“Do you really want to know or are you just asking to ask?” You ask, finally breaking your silence. You love telling people all about Seder, love talking about the holiday. It’s one of Paterson’s favorites too, and his eyes practically light up at the thought of getting to teach his friend.

“No I want to know.” Doc scratches the back of his neck, “I did some reading but…”

“Well, it starts with the Kadesh.” You let Paterson take the lead, loving the way the deep rumble of his voice soothes your ears. He explains, “It’s a blessing over the first cup of wine, and to commemorate and sanctify the holiday. Then there’s the Urchatz, a ritual hand-washing to cleanse ourselves before we begin.”

Paterson drives steadily, carefully through the trees, remembering how he had always dreaded the next step. You pinch at his nose playfully when it crinkles up, his expression endearing.

“Next comes the Karpas, the first food that we get to eat although it isn’t really…food food. It’s a piece of green vegetable, I think we’re using parsley this year?” Paterson asks, looking at you. Sometimes you used celery, but Paterson’s mom liked to switch it up every other year. You nod, and he continues, “We dip it in salt water to represent the tears our people shed while enslaved in Egypt.”

“Damn, you guys don’t mess around huh?” Doc lets out a laugh at that, and you’re inclined to agree.  

“Trust me, it gets way more dramatic.” You say, while Paterson tries to figure out how to find the detour for some road work ahead of him, “Then there’s the Yachatz, where the first piece of matzah is broken in half. The larger piece of matzah is called the afikomen, and is hidden somewhere in the house for the kids to find at the end.”

“Aw that’s pretty cute actually.” Doc smiles, and Paterson beams. He can’t wait until he has children of his own to go running through the house, wreaking havoc.

“Some families do it where the kids have to steal it off the Seder leader’s lap without them noticing, which is also really funny.” You nod, because you also agree, “But it usually distracts the kids during the Maggid, so we personally don’t do it.”

“The Maggid?”

“It’s the longest part of the Seder, this is when we read the long and drawn out story of our Exodus.” Paterson explains, “All the plagues, the slaughter of the first born – ”

“They get slaughtered and they have to fast?” Doc interrupts with raised eyebrows, “That sucks for firstborns.”

“Then we wash our hands again with the Rachtzah,” Paterson only continues with a smirk, glad that his older brother Paul has to wear the brunt of that responsibility. Nevermind that they’re twins, he’s older by two minutes, “And we’re not allowed to talk, it’s a silent hand-washing.”

“Oh do we get to eat now?” Doc’s eyes light up, as his stomach growls again.

Successfully navigating away from the road-block, you and Paterson exchange an apologetic glance.

“No,” He shakes his head, “Then we break the second matzah while saying the Motzi.”

“And then we eat the Maror, the bitter herb.” You add on, “This signifies the bitterness of slavery. Again. But after that we get to eat the Hillel sandwich.”

“Oh thank god – ”

“It’s bitter herb sandwiched between two pieces of matzah.” Paterson squashed Doc’s hopes before he even has a chance to get them too high.

“Dammit!” Doc laughs, feeling like this is the dinner that never ends. He isn’t entirely wrong, but there is relief on his face when Paterson pulls up to the drive-way, and you unbuckle your seat belt, turning over your shoulder to smile at him.

“After that you get to eat though.” You wink.

“For real this time?” Doc asks cautiously, making Paterson nod with a grin.

“For real.” He clips a yarmulke to his hair like the good boy he is, “And I promise it’s worth it.”

The three of you get out of the car, and you make sure that you have everything that you need before going in. Doc looks a little hesitant, eyeing the house that already has music and happy chatter sounding from the slightly open window.

“What do we do after we eat?” Doc asks, his hands in his pocket.

“The kids hunt for that piece of matzah, we do a final blessing after we eat called the Barech, invite a ghost in to come hang out with us and protect us, and then we sing songs.” You offer him a hand for him to hold, knowing that he must feel a little intimidated by it all.

Seder was intimidating for a lot of people, even those who had celebrated it for years. But then again, rituals are meant to be shared with family and friends, and you’re just glad Doc wanted to see for himself what it was all about.

“Did you say ghost?” Doc immediately blinks, making you laugh – it really was a silly part of the tradition, but an important one nonetheless.

“His name is Elijah, he’s really nice.” Paterson locks the car door and “When Elijah leaves though, we drink another glass of wine and dance. But by that point usually everyone is trashed enough that we all black out on the couch. It all depends.”

Approaching the front step, Doc takes in a deep breath. You slip him a piece of matzah toffee that he happily accepts, eagerly eating the dessert. His face lights up when he tastes how delicious it is, and he can’t help but smile.

“This sounds like one helluva dinner Pat, I gotta say.” Doc sounds almost impressed, that something so elaborate continues to be observed year after year after year.

“Are you ready to find out for yourself?” Paterson asks, gently nudging Doc with his elbow in a friendly gesture.

“If there’s more of this,” Doc points to the matzah toffee, “Then I’m more than ready.”

The three of you grin and Paterson steps through the threshold with your hand securely held in his, as the family welcomes you all and gives a most warm welcome to Doc, who finds that by the end of Seder after four full glasses of wine on an empty stomach, it is one helluva dinner indeed.

                                                   -------------------

Taggin’ some Paterson lovin’ friends! @sacklerscumrag @artsymaddie @direnightshade @reyloaddict55 @sunflowersinthesnow @steeevienicks @the-unmanaged-mischief @chapterhappygirl 

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