#somewhat inspired also by half forgotten Java programming class

[bread-tab]

[Recording internal dialogue]

Prediction.Algorithm Output: My immediate future is looking All Fucked Up.

"It's my own fault for overdoing it yesterday, I am so unreliable, I'm going to get fired—"

Destructive train of thought identified. Redirect.

"The smartest thing to do right now would be calling in. I'm already very late, and resting in the meantime has not decreased my pain levels. This doesn't happen unless I'm genuinely in serious physical or mental distress."

Premise accepted.

"I've been in distress too often recently."

Objection irrelevant. Dismissed.

"I don't want to call in."

Emotional obstacle identified: Anxiety.

Analyzing inputs from AnxietyTrigger matrix, indexing: [

0 {"phone call", mild},

1 {"disappointed authority figure", severe},

2 {"disappointed self", moderate}

]

Trigger items {0, 2} exported to UseYourSkills.DistressTolerance queue. Deferred.

Trigger item 1 identified as hypothetical. Applying stored principles from coping modules.

Loading Social.AnxietyDiffusion method...

Output: "Give people the chance to be kind to you."

Risk assessment: 15% chance of failure.

Loading Bribe.DopamineReward method...

Output: "If you make that phone call, you can have a cookie. And get that Murderbot audiobook you want."

Parameters within acceptable range.

Generating new Plan {

Make phone call.

Acquire items ["audiobook", "cookie"].

Consume items.

}

Prediction.Algorithm Output: My immediate future is looking okay.

Initializing Plan...

...

...

...

[External dialogue]

*ringing*

"Hey! What's up?"

"Hey boss... Uh... I'm feeling sick."

"Got it. Well, go get some rest and feel better."

"Thanks."

[External dialogue ends.]

...

...

...

Plan executed successfully.

Editing risk assessment parameter: Social.Anxiety/kindnessChance {failure rate}

Value = 15%

Value = 12%

Changes saved.

[Internal dialogue ends. Archived to TimesYouDidntSuckAtLifeAfterAll.database]

#anxiety aka overestimated risks #coping with mental illness #aka #hacking your brain in real time #coping with storytelling #coping #breadtab life #social anxiety #actuallyautistic #narrative style somewhat inspired by murderbot #somewhat inspired also by half forgotten Java programming class #gotta get back to that at some point #long post