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books-and-kids · 3 months

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My safe families coach (caseworker equivalent) is going to call me today to discuss the details of someone else taking Deshaun. I feel so guilty and inadequate not to be able to finish out his hosting but I can’t figure out a way to. I’m sick and not getting enough sleep, to the point that I felt lightheaded and dizzy last night, but I could grit my teeth and make it through that for 2 more weeks. The problem is work. He’s not allowed back to daycare until he tests negative and is symptom free for 5 days. That’s totally reasonable from daycare’s perspective, but he’s still coughing and very snotty so I suspect it will be many days until he meets that criteria. And while hes home I can only half-work. He needs constant access to me. I’m wearing him in the carrier for many hours each day, but he won’t accept that all day and the rest of the time he has to be near me, climbing all over my lap. If I ignore him he cries. If I try to type, he grabs at the laptop. I can take some calls, but it’s a crapshoot what his mood will be like. Yesterday I had an important external call that I had to take off camera and mic, listening to someone else explain my work while Deshaun screamed in the background.

My job has been incredibly flexible and supportive but it’s been a week (we tested positive last Thursday night) and I don’t want to push it. Right now is busy for me also — I’m leading an important project with a firm deadline based on external factors we can’t change, and it’s already behind schedule. If I don’t finish my pieces of it within the next 1-2 weeks, it won’t happen in time.

There’s just no slack. If daycare is out as the childcare option, there’s nothing left. No partner to trade off childcare with. I’m not allowed to hire a babysitter (safe families would require them to be certified, there’s no prudent parenting standard), and even if I was I can’t imagine finding someone who’d risk getting sick, and even if I could I couldn’t afford it. I have family in the area, but nobody who’d volunteer to babysit a sick child while I work. (Mostly when I hear about people with that kind of family support it’s from their mom, and my mom is dead.)

What am I missing? I know single parents exist and manage sick kids. Do they accept the need to take significant PTO and the limits that places on their ability to perform at work? Do they accept getting no sleep so they can catch up on work after the baby is asleep? I guess if I was truly committed I’d do some combination of those things. Am I a terrible person because I’m not willing to? (I should also say — my job is really important to me. I work for a nonprofit doing the most important work I can think of. In terms of helping people, my job does that more than hosting does. And, I’m in my early career and I want to build my reputation as a top performer. I know there are different considerations for different people.)

Of the three hostings I’ve done that involved daycare, all three have had kids home unexpectedly. Charlie was home for a day and played independently and it went fine. Bella was home for 7 consecutive work days and it wasn’t great, but she watched a lot of Barbie Dreamtopia and we muddled through. Now with Deshaun, today is the 5th consecutive work day (one day off and then 4 days working while also caring for him). Is that level of daytime childcare need typical in yalls experience? If I’m not able to manage it, does that mean I’m not cut out for hosting and should stop doing it?

#Maybe it’s my own fault for thinking I could host without sacrificing everything else I care about #If you’re thinking I can’t handle it /should quit please say so #I won’t be offended and I’m genuinely trying to answer that question #If you were me what would you do?#deshaun #safe families hosting

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barbiewritesstuff · 2 years

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Tattoos and Miracles

-- Guys it is so late here but I wanted to write something, so forgive me if it makes zero sense.

Tw. Mention of infertility, unsupportive families, pregnancy, etc.

Taglist: @mavswife @unsurebuttrying @dempy

« Right, baby,I’m off »

Your husband kissed the top of your head, one hand to the back of your head to help him push it towards him.

« Mwah » He says with a wink as he releases you from the kiss « I love you. I will be back for dinner »

You walk with him to the door, like you do every morning, and wave him off. As usual, he stops about halfway down the driveway to wave and blow another kiss at you, before he gets into the truck and drives off.

You hate this bit. You have been married to Jake for thirteen years, after being engaged for two years. You had spent a lot of time together and maybe that was why you had to keep yourself from shedding a tear whenever he left.

Part of you thought that was good, because it means you love him, but you’ve heard your family whisper things behind your back. Codependent. Controlled. Wasted potential. They had been furious when you had decided to become a housewife but, they had allowed you to believe for all of two months, they were supportive. Part of you understood why your parents were angry ; they had killed themselves working hard jobs to pay for private education and a damn good university, they had invested in your education in the hopes that you would have a career. But hearing them call you a Waste of Potential had been a hit to your pride, and a bullet straight to the heart. But you had overheard the worst last christmas, it had sent you crying to your room, abandoning your mother with the turkey.

« What is the fucking point of it anyway ? They don’t even have children »

Well, it wasn’t like they knew. You hadn’t advertised that you and Jake had been trying for the better part of ten years, but it just wasn’t happening. Doctor’s visit after doctor’s visit told you everything was fine and sometimes it just takes time. But after ten years of time, anything to do with babies just started to hurt. Walking through San Diego and reading in a park had been your favourite thing, but now the holidays had started children were running about, and going out had become a minefield for you.

You had isolated yourself very effectively, only going out when Jake was coming too. Which, with his schedule, meant never. So, your days were usually spent doing chores. Today was no different.

After Jake left, you busied yourself with the laundry, shoving clothes into the machine till it was full to the brim. Then came the hoovering, the mopping, cleaning out the pet food containers. Soon enough it was lunchtime and then, your daily dose of pain : A pregnancy test. You had done so many it had become its own category in the household budget. Yet, even though you knew what the test would say, you would wolf down your lunch to get to it faster. And every time, before you saw the negative result, you would feel a little pang of hope that maybe this time there might be a miracle.

You inhaled the microwaved leftovers and drank half a litre of water before taking the test, then so well-versed in doing this, you didn’t set a timer and just mulled about for fifteen minutes until you instinctively knew time was up.

Anticipation was making you see double, you were sure of it. You sat down on the toilet lid and took a few deep breaths. A prayer later you looked at the test again. You took out your phone, almost unlocking it to tell Jake but you didn’t. He was working, you would tell him later. You looked at your lock screen.

Thursday 28th of July, quarter past one pm, you were pregnant.

Jake hated leaving you in the morning. He knew you would just stay home and clean. He liked having a clean home, sure, but he liked having a happy wife too. He knew you had stopped reading recently, and watching films was a no-go too, just in case. You were taking things hard, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t just as affected by it as you but showing you how horrible he felt towards it would just make it worse.

He pulled into the parking lot inside of the base and steadied his breathing a little. Okay, he could do this. He checked how he looked in the reflection of the rearview mirror and then got out of the car.

He could see the rest of the team gathered by the door on the far end. Phoenix's sister had had a baby. It had been the only subject of conversation for roughly two weeks and by the way she was parading her phone around the group, today she had pictures. Jake steeled himself for what was to come, but Phoenix didn't bother him and he was thankful for it.

Their phones rang with a mass text from Mav:

"Beach, 8.am. Meet at Hard Deck"

"We could carpool?" Bob had suggested. They had all folded themselves into Rooster's bronco and Phoenix's fiat. Luckily, the bar wasn't too far.

"I hope you all slept well, because this one isn't going to be easy. Today we're working on your weakest ability: teamwork. Dogfight football, offence and defence at the same time." Mav had explained, standing in front of the bar on the wooden steps like Ceasar addressing his people.

The prospect of football, regardless of rule changes, was making him happy. He played football during highschool, it was his escape then and it still was now, whenever he got the chance to get together with buddies that is.

They got out of their shirts and Jake wished Mav had thought to ask them to bring swim trunks. But he doubted Mav had actually planned this. Mav was a great pilot but he wasn't even close to being a good planner.

"Didn't know you had a tatoo" Phoenix said as the game started and it took him a second to realise she had been talking to him. He had had the tatoo for so long he had almost forgotten about it. The only time he was acutely aware of it was when he was away, his hand seeming to hover over it subconsciously almost at all times.

"What does it say?" Phoenix asked, it distracted him enough for Rooster to tackle him to the floor. She winced at the noise of his back hitting the golden sand and knocking the air out of his lungs.

"Y/n" He replied, using her outstretched hand to stand back up.

"Who's that?"

"My wife"

"Holy shit you're married?!" Payback shouted before Phoenix had the chance to. Everyone turned their heads. He didn't know why this bothered him so much.

Well, he knew. He knew where this would go, everyone always asked the same questions:

"How long have you been married?"

"What does your wife do for a living?"

"So, when are you going to have kids?"

He wasn't ashamed of the life he had built with you. On the contrary, he loved everything about it. He loved cooking together on date nights, he loved watching crappy romcoms, he loved getting married at 20 years old and knowing he had a lifetime ahead of him to spend with you. But he felt so protective over you. He knew how much you were struggling and how unsupportive your family was. And he just wanted to keep you safe, even if you weren't there to hear those questions.

"Uhh, yeah" he answered

"When did that happen?" Coyote asked

"A while ago?"

"Is she like a pilot or something?"

"No, just… civilian"

"Oh nice, you got kids we don't know about too, or just a girl?" Rooster joked.

While you isolated yourself to deal with the grief, Jake had crafted the perfect smokescreen to hide his pain. To anyone but you and your families, he hated children. Eventually, people stopped showing baby pictures, stopped talking about children, and stopped asking him about when he was thinking about settling down.

He tensed up.

The game ended with his team on top, they walked to the bar's back porch, where Penny was waiting with drinks. Mav asked him to stay behind.

"You alright kid? You looked pretty tense earlier"

"I just don't like --" He tried to say but Mav cut him off.

"No" it was a assertive voice, telling Jake he knew exactly what kind of excuse he was going to use.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay" he sighed

Jake wondered if Mav knew what it felt like. The man didn't have any children of his own, but with the way he was treating them all there was no denying the man had a very paternal streak about him. Maybe children just hadn't happened for him. The voice at the back of Jake's head whispered that maybe that's why Mav was single. Sometimes, he could feel the strain this desperate need for a baby was putting on his own mariage but Jake pushed any thought of this out of his mind before the urge to run back to his car and drive home to hug you became too strong.

You were agonising over your decision. He was your husband, he should know. But then again, there were so many cute ways to announce it to him. No, he deserved to know.

You picked up your phone and called him. It went straight to voicemail. You sent him a text to call you back as soon as, and you paced again.

The cleaning had gone straight out of the window the second you found out. Your broom laying discarded against the kitchen wall, your plate still on the table, you had done nothing since lunch.

But, the more you thought about telling him, and the more you grew aware that you were actually pregnant, the more nauseous you felt. It was almost dinner time, Jake would be home soon, you needed to figure something out. You needed to -- you ran to the bathroom and just made it in the doorway before you vomited straight into the empty mop bucket. Once started, it was impossible to stop the urgent need to be sick. Luckily, or not, you hadn't eaten much and soon vomit was replaced with dry retching.

"I know the feeling" Mav had cornered him by the car. Jake looked at him, debating whether or not to pretend he didn't know what he was talking about. But it would be cruel. Clearly Mav was desperate for someone to talk to.

"It's so isolating" He confirmed

"Yeah" Jake let out a sad chuckle "I try to keep it together for her. I don't do a very good job, I think."

"I'm sure she appreciates it, but if it's weighing on you, you need to tell her."

Jake felt a question on his tongue but he stayed quiet. It seemed like Mav was talking from experience.

"Maybe I would still have Charley if I had told her" The older man mumbled

"But you wouldn't have Penny" Jake said

"No. You're right" he sighed, with a sad smile on his face "but I might have had kids"

"You got Bradshaw"

"Hmm and what a great job I did"

He wanted to say something to comfort him but the words he had planned came out as something completely different

"What if I'm not ready when she does get pregnant, you know?"

"I don't think you will be, I don't think anyone is ever ready"

"Yeah but we have been trying for ten years, what if we have a child and I fuck things up?"

Maverick hugged him. His embrace bone-crushing and comforting. Eventually he let go, and Jake drove home.

He turned his keys and the door and went looking for you. The cleaning supplies discarded in every room worried him. Jake was about to shout out your name when he caught a glimpse of you kneeling over the toilet bowl. Your eyes were closed, your cheek resting against the toilet seat.

"Baby, are you okay?"

He pet your head, trying to feel for a temperature. You were okay, clammy with cold sweat, but okay. Your eyes fluttered open and before he could say anything you retched into the toilet bowl again.

"Did you eat anything wrong? Do you want me to call a doctor or an am--" he lost the rest of his sentence as his eyes rested on your hand. Or rather, what you were holding.

He removed it from your grasp and looked at the test.

Was he seeing double?

He shook the test. No. He wasn't seeing double, you were pregnant. They had waited ten years for this.

All of his previous fears flooded his mind, but as he gazed into your eyes right then, Jake felt on top of the world. He felt that with you he could do anything.

When it came time to tell others, Jake called Maverick first.

#fanfic #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #top gun x reader #fanfiction #hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin #original fic #jake seresin #hangman top gun

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followthebluebell · 1 year

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alright so i finally tested positive for covid tonight. i’m not terribly surprised. it was bound to happen eventually. to the best of my recollection, here’s the progression:

Sunday, 12/25 - started to feel ill. It started as a mild sore throat. Like I thought I had just talked too much that day. It didn’t feel like a sick sore throat, just over-used.

Medication: None

Monday, 12/26 - definitely sickish. Throat wasn’t aching anymore. I described it as ‘it's gone from that sharp pain that arcs up with every swallow and into a dull, damp, tightness where it feels full of phlegm’. Sniffly by afternoon. VERY difficult to moderate my temperature.

In the morning, I felt far too hot, despite the very cool weather---- I ended up taking two ibuprofen to get my temperature down. By afternoon, I felt freezing, but was sweating through layers of clothing at the same time. I was having trouble walking from place to place without chattering my teeth. By this point, I was pretty sure it was covid because it felt very similar to my booster responses.

Brain fog was moderate, but noticeable.

Home covid test negative

SEVERE difficulty sleeping. I was waking up every hour soaked through with sweat.

Medication: Ibuprofen

Tuesday, 12/27 - Very tired :( Pretty severe brain fog throughout the day too. I was very sniffly and coughing severely. I couldn’t even play with Truffle--- thankfully, he’s a good dog and can deal with a day of boredom as long as he gets some snackie toys.

Lack of appetite was noticeable by this point. I’m unsure when it started because I don’t have a proper appetite to begin with.

I had severe problems keeping track of events. I wanted to take a shower, right? In order to do that, I have to turn on the hot water and then walk to my bathroom. It takes about fifteen seconds to get from the hot water to the bathroom. In that fifteen seconds, I’ll have forgotten whether or not I turned on the hot water. i relied pretty heavily on Truffle to keep track of things. I frequently forgot what I had just said to friends or assumed I’d said something already.

Continued to wake up every 1-3 hours soaked with sweat.

Medication: Ibuprofen, Nyquil

Wednesday, 12/28 - Probably the worst day of it physically. My cough was the most severe by this point. I was also sneezing a lot more. The shivering continued throughout the day. I still couldn’t really get from room to room without shaking.

But I was able to keep track of events slightly better, at least. My sore throat was mostly better and I didn’t have a fever for the most part. I continued to sleep poorly and woke every few hours, still covered in sweat.

I called into work to let them know I’d be out sick on thursday.

Medication: Ibuprofen, Nyquil

Thursday, 12/29 - Felt a bit better! I was able to play with Truffle again for about thirty minutes in the morning. I no longer felt as shivery or Off all the time. I was still very tired since I couldn’t really sleep the night before.

Still very sneezy throughout the day and my cough was pretty bad.

I tried to nap throughout the day but wasn’t able to fall asleep. It was just kind of one of those weird half-awake/half-asleep deals. Still, I felt well enough to feel like I could go into work on Friday as long as I masked up, disinfected everything I touched, and stayed on heavy cleaning projects without human or cat interaction.

Medication: Ibuprofen, Nyquil

Friday, 12/30 - (started log here) Slowly lost sense of taste and smell throughout the day, which was why I took another covid test. My nose is still stuffy, but I’m not sneezing or coughing as much.

Throat still feels weirdly tight. It doesn’t hurt anymore. It just feels like there’s something in the way.

Still a severe lack of appetite. I’m sure the lack of taste/smell isn’t helping with that :/

I did NOT end up going into work, btw. Some heavy trees in the road saw to that. So uh. Thanks, trees.

Was able to sleep soundly through the night without waking up in sweats.

Covid test positive

Medications: Nyquil

Saturday, 12/31 - Have SOME sense of taste back in morning. It’s very faint, but I can distinguish sweetness a little bit. No smell, though, which is unfortunate. Had enough energy to play fetch with the dog for about forty minutes.

By late afternoon, I could distinguish a few more tastes. I wouldn’t say I can taste flavors. It’s more like I can taste flavor PROFILES. I can taste salty, sweet, and fat. I can’t really break down a flavor more than that. Still no sense of smell.

Brain fog was pretty severe, but less memory-based. It’s more like I just couldn’t focus on any one thing throughout the day. I’d find myself trying to watch a video, listen to a podcast/audiobook, AND read a post all at the same time, without really realizing what was going on. It was like I was trying to do something--- literally anything--- to get my mind’s attention.

Coughing and sniffles are mostly gone, but still happens occasionally. My breath capacity feels very limited. I can’t stand for long periods without feeling tired. My feet feel ‘absent’ when i sit down. I know they’re there. It’s not like they’re tingling or anything. It’s just that, after a while, they stop registering. Like I can’t really feel things pushing against my toes or something. That’s the best way I can put it.

Temperature seems well under control with the exception of my fingers getting very cold and stiff very quickly.

I made bread.

Medications: Nyquil

Sunday, 1/1/23 - very tired :( Played with Truffle for forty minutes, but I still don’t have the energy to brush him out or groom him. When this is all over, I’ll have to give him a 7 all over, and that sucks because I’ve been growing out his fluff.

Still no sense of smell, and my sense of taste is still pretty faint. It seems stronger, but flavors still fade away pretty quickly.

My appetite was still fairly poor throughout the day. It’s strange. I don’t have a very strong hunger drive when I’m healthy, but I suffer the affects if I don’t eat. Like I get hangry, blood sugar crashes, etc. Except right now, none of that happens. I still feel the exact same. Thankfully, Truffle is still doing his job and monitoring my blood sugar.

My circulation seems better. My fingers no longer get icy cold.

My breathing is still constrained. I thought it would feel like I can’t get enough air in my lungs on each breath. Instead, it feels like there’s just something around my throat. It constantly feels like my shirtcollar is too tight.

Truffle is going to run out of his favorite food tomorrow morning. He’ll have to make due with kibble for a few days, I guess.

Medications: None

Monday, 1/2/23 - still very tired :( But my sense of smell is trying to make a come-back. It just kinda came and went. Like I’d open a can of cat food and THAT definitely smelled, but suddenly it was gone. My sense of taste is recovering a bit too. It’s still definitely fainter than it should be and certain things taste Off.

Coughing more today than yesterday, and my nose is runnier.

Severe insomnia :( not helped by the fact that i’ve run out of melatonin. I’m almost out of nyquil too. I’ve got one more dose left, so I’m saving it.

Medications: none

Tuesday, 1/3/23 - I took a 15 minute walk today with Truffle and felt like I walked three miles. Breathing is still difficult. Again, it’s not like my lungs aren’t filling or something. It’s just this constant pressure on my throat. My sense of taste is still faint, sense of smell is even fainter. My nose is still runny and phlegmy. I should have some more cough drops and nyquil in the mail right now. It’s just a matter of getting down to the box and grabbing it.

Truffle ran out of his lamb food today but he’s taken to his kibble well enough. Good thing too. >> Most of the town is flooded right now, and a lot of people are evacuated. So uh even if I wasn’t sick, a trip to town would be out of the question right now.

I shaved Truffle’s paws today so now he’s got clean feet again.

Medications: Nyquil

Wednesday, 1/4/23 - More or less the same. Truffle is still convinced I’m secretly hiding all the REALLY good food from him. My sense of smell is still pretty much gone. I can smell things if they’re RIGHT up against my nose, otherwise there’s nothing.

Medications: Nyquil

Thursday, 1/5/23 - Took a covid test today and it was negative, so I should be good to work again soon. The plan is to go back on Saturday and mostly just stick to non-human/animal tasks.

#covid #will update this #anyway i've got the next few days off so we'll see how far into skyrim i get

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5ivebyfive · 1 year

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I really, really hate doing this, but I need help.

On the 4th I started having COVID symptoms and tested positive a couple days after. My boss won’t let me return to work until I’m completely negative. I’ve been getting tested every 3-4 days since. On Thursday my rapid came back negative and I thought I was in the clear, but then my pcr came back positive, and my boss still wants me to wait. I’m going back for another test today or tomorrow (whenever the doctor’s office gets back to me), but I’ve missed 3 weeks of work and we don’t get sick pay/PTO/anything. So I’m screwed. All of my bills are coming up at the end of the month/beginning of Dec. and I’m broke. I need quite a lot for rent, other bills, and groceries. My current concern is my phone bill due on Thursday ($48) and gas. But if anyone can help me with the rest, too, I’d be so grateful.

Anything you can help with will go a long way, even reblogs.

CA: $5ivebyfive PP: rose7053 V: rose.joele

Again, if you can help in anyway or reblog so maybe someone else can, I’d be so, so grateful. If it helps my pity train in any way, I’m gonna be stuck home alone on Thanksgiving.

#please please reblog #signal boost

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bomberqueen17 · 2 years

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decelerating for a moment

yeah that was. well. a lot’s been going on.

so i was at the farm for three weeks. the first week was like... mostly normal. the second week, Older Sister’s kids were up. I took them to the beach one day. The boys excitedly measured my house because they want to build a railing and staircase. Like, cool, why not!

Then the day they were leaving, the youngest one, my older niece, came down with a cold. Her older brother’d been getting over a cold. We didn’t really think much of it. So two days after they left, Farmkid also came down with a cold. Didn’t really think much of it. It was chicken day. We were busy. ALSO the culvert bridge that connects the house yard to the barnyard was getting replaced, which meant like, incredibly complicated logistics and a giant excavator and like, how the fuck are we getting these chickens from the barn to the farm store, and so on.

still dealing with that, wednesday morning Farmkid wakes up early and goes to check her own temperature and complains to her mother that this cold is not what a cold normally feels like. Her mother dutifully administers a COVID rapid test, which... comes out positive.

ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHH

My MOTHER meanwhile has also had the same thought, takes a test, ALSO positive. Cue older sister’s husband racing home from work to test the children, and discovering that sure enough, niece tests positive. NOOOO.

So anyway. I masked up and we all spent the next two days doing insane amounts of work while blowing through the backlog of COVID rapid tests. I decided to come home anyway, as I was supposed to, on Thursday; I worked my ass off from 6am until 1pm in order to do this, and left at 2pm. Got home 7pm to find that Dude had bought me sushi, which was greatly appreciated.

Friday was my birthday. I tested negative, so I went to work, and then came home and fell the fuck asleep. But on Saturday morning I tested negative again, so I decided I could at least move to my own bed to sleep in (I’d been in the guest room).

Like a fucking dummy, I’d told myself, if you want any fuss on your birthday you’ve got to make it yourself! be sure to order yourself a present so it’s there when you get home! I did not do that, so my birthday was, well, a little depressing. But that’s my own doing. I have spent several days now trying to find myself something to get myself to cheer up, and I can’t, my ability to buy things is still fucked. Someday. We’ll see. I’ll just binge-spend a bunch of money on something I’ll later hate, that’s how this works. Oh well.

But. I have survived, and I never did get COVID, and now I’m Even Older, so I’ll take it I guess. I did get a fic published on my birthday and that meant that I was getting comments all day long which was really the only bright spot of the day, so I am immensely grateful for that.

[Also grateful: everyone in my family seems to have recovered from COVID, largely, and no one besides Mom, Farmsister, and both nieces got it, magically somehow.]

And now I have caught up on sleep and am going to hopefully get some shit done today. We’ll see!

#about the author #covid-19 #farm life #i should post excavator photos #very dramatic #very annoying

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logicheartsoul · 1 year

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So after the hectic shit of last week (you can read about it here, heed the warnings) some good news for once!

Even though my initial PCR test last week was negative, took a home test and it was negative. Which is a huge relief! But considering my mom is positive (and we took steps for isolation and masking so I haven’t seen her much all week), just to be really sure gonna get tested at a pharmacy on Thursday, coz you never know lol better safe than sorry

(My dad however is still not being smart and not masking and the only time he is, it’s around my mom and even then it’s not 100% of the time 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don’t have hope this’ll make him more vigilant masking when going out but it would be a small miracle if it did. He’s the one most at risk since he had Covid in 2020 so if he got reinfected it’s bad news for him, but I’m gonna stop here coz if I go on, this rant will be forever)

Also, after a million years, I heard back from my cousin’s brother in law about some work and we’re going to have a talk tomorrow about all the details and stuff, which I am kind of nervous but if this works out I’ll finally have a job! Granted it’s not full time but a job is a job so lol

Maybe the timing isn’t so great but it’ll be nice to see some things slowly turn up ok

#personal #covid 19 #i am just waiting for all of this to be over so I can start a new chapter #But hey at least I got my haircut in time for this good news lol

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materialogy · 7 months

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It’s December 31, 2021. I’m sitting in the parking lot of the only business that will be open until midnight in a tiny ghost town outside of Big Bend National park. I saw a balloon trellis with “2022” decorating it earlier so I figured I might find some people to Hollar in the new year with here.

My service is full bars, 3G – much better than I thought it would be! So no data transfer. I have tried video chatting, posting, and sending people pictures but alas, the service only works for text and phone calls. I figured I would sit here and think about my year, where has it gone? We say that every year, as if we blink and memories of the past revolution around the sun flash before our eyes. I feel compelled to share how my year has gone. Call it loneliness? The lack of human beings I have seen that I care about, that care about me? That’s not to discredit the 100s of strangers I’ve had lovely (and not so lovely lol) interactions with in the past month and a half.

I started my year in Massachusetts, my home town, in my childhood yard with my oldest friend and my family, burning Christmas trees as is tradition on New Year’s Eve – but at a much smaller scale due to a certain pandemic. I got some ski runs in at the slopes of Loon mountain the next day, in another state that I absolutely adore (♥️New Hampshire♥️)

I drove back to my actual home of 5 years, Lima Ohio, to go back to work and begin construction of the $5,000 PC my employer trusted me to build (how did I get here lol, if you asked me what I thought my future career would be before college, I would have said “as far away from the IT field as possible”)

I took and passed a test to become a certified drone pilot by the FAA. Since passing, I have flown my drone over various scenery and cities in 14 states and counting.

I spun fire for the first time in a rock garden that is like nothing you’ve ever seen before with a dear friend. What a wonderful, powerful experience! This garden is in the back yard of a sweet, eccentric man in the hometown of Neil Armstrong, Wapakoneta. My Ohio people know 😏 I went on to spend every Thursday evening this summer jamming out vocally and on my mandolin with a group of 10-20 older musicians who I might categorize as the original hippies? Lol

I danced with great friends in the back room of a vape shop that I met from a video gig I had at the beginning of the pandemic. I picked up the bass guitar, an instrument that literally makes me feel like the most badass lady on the planet even though I am at a below beginner level haha.

I took pictures with my first film camera, and had a friend come over and teach me how to develop it myself in my dark bathroom. Definitely gave me an admiration for the blind! The film strip hung to dry on my shower curtain rod until I was able to invert the negative and see my extreme inexperience with the original medium of photography LOL.

I flew to Florida in March with two people, I now consider family after years of friendship in Ohio. We had a great time sitting by the pool and laying on the beach until we got back to the car to see the $120 ticket because we were so excited to run to the beach that we forgot to pay for parking! That was fun. NOT

Later in the year, I went on to participate in the marriage of these too amazing people shortly after buying their first home in the poppin’ town of Columbus, Ohio. Love you guys big time.

I got inked for the first time since I was 18! One cute and impulsive tattoo of a little bee, and one tattoo I’ve been talking about getting since I was 17 with my non blood sister ♥️. I’m blessed by the people in my life! And guess who the artist was? Another stunning soul I have gotten to know in the past two years, who has just finished building her schoolie to live and travel in!

That same artist friend of mine went on to give me the honor of tattooing her! A little brasil philodendron now resides on her shin by my hand. Love you Caroline ♥️

This year I bought new rollerblades and have traveled the country putting 100s of miles on them in various cities: San Francisco, Boston, Charlotte, Savannah, Tampa, New Orleans etc etc.

I took an exhilarating pre-travel flight to San Francisco with my covid raincheck ticket and visited with my aunt and uncle for nearly 2 weeks. Exploring the city, hiking the Bay Area elevation, singing in karaoke bars in Japantown, painting in an iconic art studio, flying the drone over their neighborhood. The memories are warm in my heart.

This year I parted ways with my partner of 5 years.

This year I packed up my entire life and the home I had spent 4 years in. (That’s a long time for a 23 year old!) I sold many earthly possessions, I packed my cats, I packed my piano, I packed my memories.

I moved my things to my parents house. &&& let me just take a moment to thank them for how wonderful and understanding they’ve been.

When I told them, hey, I know this sounds crazy, but I NEED to blow my savings traveling the country living in my car, they were not totally on board lol. But they ultimately understood that this was what I needed before the next job, and there’s no words that I could say to thank them enough for supporting me and for watching my cats and my greenhouse volume of plants while I go through my existential crisis that has lead me over 5,000 miles around the American continent.

I have been on the road for nearly a month and a half. I have hiked mountains, danced with strangers, kayaked with manatees, flown in a 2-person plane that is triple my age, explored museums and walked through historical locations. I have been sun kissed and sunburnt. I have spent all night changing the alternator in my car in the Walmart parking lot of a small Louisiana town. I have made coffee under many skies and on many beaches. I have superglued homemade window covers to the glass of my car because I’m tired of them falling on me in my sleep. I have cooked Mac and cheese in the top level of a parking garage at 2am cause what else am I gonna do when I’m hungry on bourbon street?

And now here I am, in a rural (understatement) town about a rocks throw from the Mexico border. I’m about halfway through my trip and if I was looking for answers to what I should do next or what my purpose is, I don’t think I’m gonna find that on the road.

What I have found is one hell of a life changing experience.

Reader, if you’re still there, here are a few excerpts from my travel journal entries:

“Slept in my first Walmart parking lot last night among a fleet of RVs, felt safer that way. Minutes from Folly Beach, SC, but I will drive inland soon to see an old friend. I’ll come back here tonight”

“Skated 4 miles on the Tampa riverwalk today and got a nice shower.”

“I am drawing some mutant palms among the yellow umbrellas & blue chairs on Treasure island. The Cabana boy told me yesterday that if I came back today, I could have a free cabana for the day.

& so I sit on the blue chairs under the yellow cabana, wondering how I found myself in such a beautiful moment.

Another day at the beach on Treasure island.”

“My skin is burnt from Florida’s hot rays. I thought it was kissed but my northern complexion was unprepared for the beating sun.

My eyes are crusted from dried tears.

A vagabond life I live.”

“Parked on the wharf, 2:00am, my eyes open to the sound of cooing owls. I decide to head out

To the beach I go, away from the little key that has a population of 700.

Tires screech to a stop on the bridge over the water leaving the town. The sky is stunning.

I have lost track of the amount of shooting stars my eyes have absorbed. It’s 3:20 am.”

“Overcast commanded the sky when I arrived in Panama City this morning. It seemed to swallow the high that was brought on by the clear night sky. I had a frustrating time with my stove as I lugged it through the sand. Complete with coffee supplies and complications, but I was determined to make my morning cup of Joe by the water.”

“Shards from massive sand dollars cover the white sand that is clustered into drifts like that of snow. It’s funny how I’m down where the weather is temperate, yet my mind goes to the cruel and icy landscape that is New England.”

“Skated around and fell with my coffee. I smell like coffee”

“I stayed in a parking garage and it was terrible. People were honking at every corner of the windy, multilevel structure. The sounds bounced off the concrete walls all night.”

“Hah my Friday night did not go as planned. I ended up staying up all night replacing the alternator in my car in a town I drove to to DoorDash. I woke up in that town and now I hit the road. Houston here I come.”

“Fire twirls before my eyes on the rooftop of a warehouse littered by art and junk at every level. Who knew this could be found on Houston’s Main Street.”

“Today I left the ground.

Today I soared the skies.

Today I coasted above the land that I have spent most of my life walking, driving, skating, swimming, climbing on.

It took me sideways.

It took my breath away.”

“The crumbly trail twists and turns as I follow it. I twist and turn like the water once did.”

#grungemetalandshit #grunge #grungy #love nature #young and wild #poetry of life #travel #travel journal #journey #retrospective #traveltheworld

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honeysucklepink · 2 years

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Covid Day 3 (apparently? What happened to the other days? I’ll tell you under a cut cause damn I’m long-wimdy):

Day 0: Thursday, when I started having symptoms (scratchy throat, sinus congestion, achy joints though to be fair one of those is a jammed up finger from my fall two months ago, and a temp of 99, which for me is actually a bit high). Went to work anyway LIKE A MORON, but stayed closed up in my office. About noon, when no one showed up to my online workshop (one person tried to login on mobile twice then gave up) and I realized I could barely get through it anyway, I took a Covid test I keep in my desk drawer--negative. Okay, so maybe the flu? Even though I had my flu and covid booster a few weeks ago, maybe it’s a strain they didn’t catch? I went to student health. Did I tell you my campus has declared we are “post-covid” and they aren’t even doing masks? And now you need an appointment, my primary doc had the week off, and the lady said “oh it’s probably just this bad cold that’s been going around anyway” *GGGRRR* I say fuck it, call it a day, run to Walmart to grab some meds and soup and decide I’m taking Friday off too.

Day 1: Friday. Still feel like crud, though the cough is starting to be productive at least, the temp is up and down but mainly in the upper 98-99 range. Sit in virtually on a faculty meeting, then a phone meeting with the estate attorney re: Dad’s will. Hubby is in a tree stand all day so I take care of myself. Fix some veggie beef soup and a roll for lunch, PBJ for a snack, and some stir-fry Hubs made the night before for dinner. Plus LOADS of ginger tea with honey and lemon. Hope I’m improving by Saturday because a work friend is having her “Birthday/Halloween/Breast Cancer in Remission” party tomorrow night and my Coach Beard costume is on POINT.

Day 2: Saturday. Fuck me. I wake up SWEATING, burning up. My temperature is now 100.0 (Allie Brosh gif “no, I wanted the opposite of this”) and I decide “fuck it, I’m taking another Covid test.” Well screw me sideways, for the first time since March 2020 when all this shit started it finally got to me. I text Hubs “DON’T COME IN HERE” and he texts back “LET ME GET THE FLAME THROWER” (haha very funny). Instead he brings me coffee, toast, and eggs. Then I ask him three separate texts for 1) apple butter for my toast 2) Crystal hot sauce for my eggs and 3) a glass of orange juice. Hey it’s the least he can do after the flame thrower quip. Fortunately there is an urgent care open until 4 pm down the road, so I go there, follow protocols, they don’t give me another test (apparently the home test positives are pretty accurate, they are more likely to give you false negatives). Interestingly they do not recommend paxlovid at this clinic, especially with my high blood pressure. They give me a shot to start my antibiotic/steroid boost, I run pick up a bunch of meds and some McDonalds, and hunker down in my isolation chamber and proceed to watch my Ole Miss Rebels end their seven-game winning streak. Joy. Hubby brings me soup and a roll and some gatorade.

So that makes today (Sunday) Day 3. According to CDC guidelines, I should isolate 5 days from the start of my symptoms, then so long as I’m feeling better after Day 5 and my temp has been normal for 24 hours, I can go back to work wearing a mask for at least five more days (though I will probably wear a mask for the rest of my life. I’ve realized I don’t like my lower face; my teeth are crooked, my lips are oddly scarred from years of cold sores, I’ve developed a complete lack of a chin which now blends into my neck...yeah I’ll wear a mask forever. Which would be easier if I didn’t also have to wear glasses)

#covid-19 #now back to my regular shitposting

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whentherewerebicycles · 1 year

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time to declutter my brain by making some LISTS!!!!

time available to me in the immediate future:

had amazing weekend in pittsburgh! am flying home tonight so will have about 5-6 hours of airport and flight time where i can work on whatever

i have only one meeting & one tiny work task on the agenda for tomorrow so i will have that entire day

wednesday morning is packed with meetings but i’ll be finished by 12 and then will have the rest of the day to run errands, pack, and do other last-minute trip stuff

thursday morning will be a bit of a mad scramble but then i will have 10-11 hours of sustained work time on the plane to use however i want

things i need to get done:

pre-trip errands. i ordered a shitload of travel clothes & other stuff that all arrived this weekend, so i need to try everything on, decide what i’m taking with me, and drop off all returns before i leave. i also need to buy dog food, water plants, and pay some medical bills.

campus visit. i’ve gotten too far in the weeds with all the prep work and research, which is fine, like i needed to do that reading and thinking, but also now it’s time to step back from it a little bit and start thinking about the pieces i’m going to pull out for the actual talk. the sooner i can get a detailed outline together the less stressed i’ll feel, so i think i may spend tonight’s plane ride outlining by hand (since writing things out instead of typing helps me organize my thinking more efficiently). i want to think about several possible configurations for that hour, and then i also want to create a to-do list so i have a clearer sense of the stuff i need to prep or script in the next couple weeks.

i know i am going to put a lot of pressure on myself to do this “perfectly” or whatever, but i want to try to gently push back against that impulse. i am so prepared for this interview. the presentation doesn’t have to convey absolutely everything because i will have the entire day to answer questions and bring up things i want to mention. my goal is to not get lost into the details but to keep my messaging simple, direct, and compelling. i also read a bunch of articles in the chronicle this morning about how hard it is for universities to recruit and retain talented admin staff right now, and that made me feel a bit better about going into the interview. interviews are two-way evaluations and if they are interested enough in me for this role to invite me to campus, they are also going to be feeling some pressure to make this a positive experience and to convince me that this is the place i want to be.

IUI planning. i test tomorrow but kind of have a gut feeling this cycle didn’t work! i know i’ll be disappointed if the test is negative but i also think i’m so busy with other stuff that i’ll move on pretty fast and be ready to try again. i just need to reach out to my doctor before my trip to see what she thinks about squeezing something in around the travel and the campus visit - the timing will get a little hairy so it might not be worth it to try this month. we’ll see! but i have to do that before i leave as i need to know if i should take the meds with me & i also will need to set up my sister with the info to call the donor bank for me.

fic comments. lol my goal for this last cycle was to do 14 comments in 14 days and i only managed to do 4!! i will cut myself some slack here as when i set the goal i didn’t know about the job interview yet and didn’t anticipate that other stuff would fill all that open time. but i might try to do a few more on the plane tonight - maybe i can get to 7 at least.

okay! there’s a lot ahead of me but honestly i think i did a ton of good work in march and that has prepared me to roll into a very busy april in a reasonably calm state of mind. i can handle everything that lies ahead. and wow i’m about to have a very cool travel experience too!! and basically two full weeks where don’t have to think about my current job for even a second! i know i’ll probably be tired at the end of the trip but i hope it’s also a good brain break for me.

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geek-fashionista · 1 year

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Lately, I have been… stressed. Work stuff, wedding stuff, trying to be ready for my short trip to Texas this week. I was coming home from work and doing a million things on top of writing 1000+ words a day.

So was it any surprise when my throat started feeling irritated on Wednesday? Stress enough and it’s bound to catch up with you physically.

Between Wednesday night and Thursday night, I had a 24-hour fever that was so bad I became bedridden and completely lost my appetite. My fiancé came into the room with a bowl of soup and found me staring miserably at the bread, water, and Tylenol he’d brought me twenty minutes before. I started wondering if I should go to the hospital.

AND THEN I was like, hold on, I’m a woman of faith, I don’t need to live this way. So I told my fiancé to bring me the anointed oil on the kitchen counter. He comes back and sits with me as I dab some on my throbbing head, my pill-wrecked stomach, my sore throat, my aching back, and start praying for healing.

Immediately, chills. Within a few minutes, the fever is moving out of my head. My limbs overheat. I start sweating for the first time that day. Then the heat leaves my arms. I eat a little bit of the soup that’s gotten cold. A few minutes later, I’m out of bed. A while after that, the heat has completely left my body. And then the pain stops.

Within an hour of praying over myself, I’m walking around the apartment, energetically cracking jokes. God is good.

The following morning, no fever but my throat feels pretty gross. I ask my supervisor if I can work remotely and he agrees. I get maybe half an hour of work done before I recoil at my own fuzzy tonsils and decide to flash a light in my mouth. The sight of my throat has me dropping everything to find the nearest urgent care clinic.

One awful strep test later, it came back negative, but I took the rest of the day off because my head was aching and I needed to rest.

Rest and not worry about the things that still need to be done. Rest and be taken care of instead of trying to take care of everything myself. (I do hate that I’ve been unable to write.)

Our honeymoon hotel is paid off. Our rental car is reserved. I had to reschedule my final dress fitting for tomorrow, but my soon to be mother-in-law and possibly sister-in-law will be joining me for it. My fiancé’s grandfather sent us a generous amount of money that will almost pay off the mattress that’s getting delivered today.

Everything is going well. Everything will be fine. I just need to focus now on recovering.

#the writing goes well #life #text

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fractallogic · 2 years

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Mom’s officially in hospice, and there aren’t any treatments that would improve her situation without side effects that would affect her quality of life substantially. So.

I don’t really know how I feel about this, except that it feels like an extended punch in the gut that started on Thursday when I saw her on FaceTime to wish her happy birthday in the hospital and had to cry a little while before I could collect myself and go back into the conference, and has just continued through today when I got confirmation that she was out of the hospital and that indeed it was hospice and not palliative care and it’s just making her comfortable for however long.

I’m so tired and uncertain and tired of being uncertain. Things are slipping through the cracks and I feel bad about that, but there’s also not a lot I can do except to make sure I’m prioritizing the things that would be very bad if they slipped.

But it’s also 11 PM and I’ve now been awake for 12 hours and we all know that your feelings and emotional perceptions are skewed when you’re tired, so I’m going to hug the cat and take a shower and go hey how nice that the Covid test I did on myself this morning didn’t come out positive! And I’ll spend some time tomorrow morning getting reacquainted with my planner and calendar, which makes me feel… different emotions, at least, and ones that I would rather deal with than the Mom is Dying, For Reals ones! And I’ll take my second Covid test at like noon and it will probably also come out negative! And I’ll chat with my TA and she’ll probably tell me that class last week went well and that she’s doing all the things that need to be done by her! And then Artemis will go to the vet, who will say wow so healthy and so grumpy, what a great cat! And at some point I’ll go grocery shopping so that I can make puttanesca sauce like I wanted to tonight, but you can’t do it if you don’t have a can of tomatoes!

And that will be better, and also maybe will give me the emotional fortitude to call mom’s bf and have him give me a rundown of the MRI results and of the meds she’s taking (none of which are chemo, unlike what I thought after the dr appointment that I went with them to) and whatever other questions I can’t remember right now

And after I get a bunch of sleep tonight, I’ll feel better too. And maybe I’ll feel better working from home.

#no one ask me how I’m doing please because the answer is just TIRED #don’t ask how my mom is doing or how I’m holding up because the answer is not great and idfk #just please let me get somewhat less exhausted so that I can do the mountain of job apps due on my birthday

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sarahscribbles · 2 years

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loving your teasers! my favorite part was when Loki asked the reader if she wanted him to take her against the wall. *fans self* also sending you good thoughts and appreciation for all your hard work, here and elsewhere, since it sounds like it's been a stressful week. you are a total badass. -😇🌶️

Angel spice! It’s been too long!!!

Thank you for this, it’s so sweet and so needed. Ughh I want Loki to take me against a wall so bad 🥵🥵

Oh yes it has been A Week. Who wants a run down of Sarah’s Week? (Rhetorical bc you’re getting it anyway)

• Sunday - I was sick in work and couldn’t go home

• Tuesday - didn’t hit my thesis target because I don’t even know why. Words no work

• Wednesday - got called into work 5 HOURS early bc someone had covid (only found out about this after I had been working with them so that’s cool)

• Thursday - 6 hour round drive to my sisters graduation (not fun)

• Today - had covid symptoms (negative test so far), accidentally flashed my neighbours, and got locked in the bathroom at a cafe.

I’m also not going to Italy because it was 700 GREAT BRITISH POUNDS!!!

So, yes, Angel Spice, it has been A Week

#😇🌶

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nicetrynicetry · 5 days

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192

Thursday and I’m playing fast and loose with how short one’s bangs can be, which in this case is too short and I regret everything. They at least are even, since I didn’t do this myself. My beloved Japanese hairdresser followed orders and did the best job he could, given how much he probably disagreed with the vision. The result is half librarian (a neat bob) and half non-binary protester (the bangs). I bike home with anxiety, and think of hats I could wear on stage next week. My one comfort is in remembering Shane Gillis’s first comedy special released on YouTube in 2021, and how he opened by drawing attention to his haircut, saying he panicked before the show and rushed to a Dominican barber. “I must’ve been the only white guy who’s ever been in there”, he says, “just…don’t get a Dominican haircut, you end up just looking more racist”. It’s a perfect bit. And I figure I can do the same thing, call attention to my mistake, get a laugh and win some favour

My STD tests came back negative, which is a bigger relief than I thought. I had convinced myself that maybe T gave me symptom-free chlamydia 6 years ago that a previous test hadn’t picked up. I was too afraid to ask him to wear protection, because our sexual relationship had started with me telling him I wasn’t quite ready to be physical, and him telling me that he would go and have sex with someone else if I didn’t fast-track that process. Luckily his now- girlfriend dropped some more poetry last week and reading it makes me feel better about the whole ordeal (because it is very bad). A’s results are pending. He FaceTimes me on the way to the clinic and I think about how if A were 20% more famous he probably couldn’t do this without a DeuxMoi blind item ending up online within 24 hours. I am too afraid to ask him whether he has booked his flight to New York yet, not wanting to add stress to his laissez-faire schedule of movie score meetings and peeing in cups. All I can think about is how expensive that flight will be when he books it, and how many jobs he’ll feel he needs to take to get back on good financial footing, and how this will take him away from me because he’ll be in a session, and how many more guns he’ll buy because there’s a gun store next door to his studio

It rains all day, by the way. The cold plunge is brutal and I have ingrown hairs and am reaching the natural fatigue I get in the studio when I know a trip is coming up. I watch a video of Andrew Tate saying that the idea of high blood pressure being bad is a myth: “imagine your blood flowing through your vein FASTER and HARDER. Sounds to me like you’re SUPERCHARGED. My blood flows at 400mph, and yours mopes around being lazy like you are”, he says, pointing directly to the camera, “and that’s why you’re a fuck up”. I read elsewhere that Tate’s “Hustler’s University” get-rich-quick programme is largely made up of people being paid to publicly exalt Tate and share videos of him calling himself Morpheus from the Matrix. I guess this makes it a curious mix of a click farm and a pyramid scheme, and that there really is a crisis of masculinity after all

W texts to ask whether I would be upset if he cancelled on playing tambourine at my show in order to do an event at SF MoMA next week. It’s a text I knew was coming (admittedly not the SF MoMA part, what a curve ball) but it still hurts to get it. Obviously not because the tambourine is so integral to my performance, but only because it strengthens my confirmation bias about music people, even the nice ones, being impossible to count on. I call W’s bluff and tell him that I would be upset if he didn’t come, and to tell SF MoMA he can’t make it. W says he is worried he doesn’t have a good excuse for his management, because he is deliberately hiding his involvement in my music from them. Something about money and publishing and other vague complications. It reminds me of this guy I knew when I was a teenager, the cool older brother of my cool next door neighbour, who used to sneak into my house at 3am after parties I wasn’t invited to, kiss me, and make me promise I wouldn’t tell any of his friends. Sometimes I think of him and tell myself I won in the end, and I always think in those terms about people from that era because I was treated like such a leper. But then I wonder whether I did win, because he has a steady girlfriend and he only does coke on SOME weeknights and his mother loves him more than any mother loves anybody. I remember this mother very clearly, an early adopter of cheap botox, a passionate critic of her slightly overweight daughter, and that visible - palpable - lust for her only son. But I digress. What I mean to say is that W is keeping me a secret. I tell him to be honest with his management and “live in truth”, and he stops responding. I refuse to let it get me down. I try on some hats that cover the worst of my hair

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divinefishingtips · 11 months

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TGIWednesday: Sounds like I should pack my overnight bag

TGIWednesday News

Ok, I’ll admit I’ve been home a lot lately between all we have going on. I’m not saying I've gone full blown agraphobic just yet (fear of crowds), but if I have an internet connection, a phone and a physical address, seems like most people and things I want to see wind up at my door. My girlfriend said the other day, “We’re going to Walmart” and I was like “Uh, why...when they deliver right to the front door?” and she said, “Because we need to get out of the house and go for a ride. And we’re going to stop at Subway sandwich shop and order their salads, go to the car wash, maybe even the Dollar Tree store and browse if we don’t run out of time.” I looked at her like I saw a ghost, “What’s next a rave? Sounds like you better pack my overnight bag!” We both fought back laughter through wide smiles. When’s the last time YOU got out of the house? Went to some sort of festival or gathering? How about a drive in the country or by the sea? The forrest? A park? Any opportunity to get grounded in nature, de-stress and becoming more heart-centered can redirect your energy and your life.

When is the last time we spoke? If it’s been too long, get on my schedule as soon as possible! If you just need a quick tune-up from anywhere in the world... Appointments View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins “I’ll meet you in the field” Rumi said. The field of infinite possibility, physics and play.

TGIWednesday Download

~ THE INFINITE FIELD OF PLAY ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can meet Spirit in the field of play where all things are possible, fun, wavy and free. I know, when, where, how and why to call upon Spirit to bring in new opportunities to play, and in so doing,my center presents itself where all things can change I am ready, willing and able to take initiative, to get moving and to try new things in an effort to redirect my overthinking into play and letting go. I am asking in all languages, throughout all time lines and so it is. Know that making a little daily progress will allow the rest of your life to be the best of your life!

On Deck... What is Life Force Energy?

We’ve done a ton of fishing on word tracks, affirmations and clearing negative and downloading more positive and - oh my goodness - what amazing effects we’ve seen and experienced! But what about numbers? Numbers you ask?... Yes numbers! Sitting next to someone on a plane who does not speak or understand your language - if you write down 2 + 2 = ___ they will write down 4.

Everything can be broken down into the language of numbers and those numbers measure Life Force Energy - positive vs negative, flow vs block. So what Spirit came up with and gave to me to give to you, along with the concept of fishing, is to use numbers as a percentage of strength or weakness. How weak are your eyes from 0-100%? Let’s erase those blocks. Are there blocks in your finances? If so, on a scale of 0-100% what’s the percentage of the block or the flow? How about being chosen for a new job? Or whether we’ll have a baby or not? What are the strengths and weaknesses of the percentage of probability? We can change them! We’re going to simplify and show you how to get even MORE results out of your fishing and show you how to DECREASE taking on blocks and INCREASE your energetic flow. We will address with finger muscle testing, pendulums and of course standing sway testing. Stay tuned for this ingenious way to get even more results and amazing outcomes! It will be in our new Masterclasses Training Center taught in written, audio and video lessons.

Tentative release is July 7th (7/7/2023)

UPCOMING LIVE ZOOM EVENT

JOIN US ON A SPECIAL DAY THURSDAY- JUNE 29TH at 7:30PM EASTERN Theme: Harmony Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and replay)

So much of our lives are out of “harmony” with things. How many times have you been sad or wished you could do or say this or that? It’s because you were not in harmony with the person, place, thing, pet or situation. Let’s get you back on track with this Zoom event focused on being in harmony with our health, life’s mission, relationships, family, work job career

1) Personal wish: I would like to be more in harmony with ________________

2) Wish for others: let’s harmonize____________ so that we can be on the same page and be in a better place together

3) World view: let’s be more in harmony with the earth, the climate, world peace, etc

**All submissions must be rec'd by Wed. June 28th at [email protected]

Pre-Register Now - $22

FREE Live Appearances

You Wealth Revolution Season 25 Hosts: Darius Barazandeh & Jimmy Mack SPECIAL LIVE ZOOM Q&A WITH LIVE CALLERS!NEXT TUESDAY JUNE 20TH 3:30PM Eastern Time / 2:30 CT / 12:30 PT

Your Divine Uniqueness With host Moncef Akfir TAKING LIVE CALLERSTHURSDAY AUGUST 18TH 2:00PM Eastern Time

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

JUNE 14TH "Today I will realize how blessed I am and move forward making plans, fulfilling my own dreams and in movement I will create, move, and be. I will not lay idle on the couch I will plan my come back, my renaissance, my own personal resurrection. This body can rest when it's in the ground."

Come See Me In Tampa

SESSIONS AT SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office on the last Friday of each month

The next opportunity for Tampa office sessions: FRIDAY AUGUST 4TH

Please call their office directly at ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

From the Fish Box

I have been seeing Jimmy now for 5 years and he has helped me tremendously. I have had blocks and was stagnant in life and after seeing him things started to change not only in my personal life but my health. Fast forward to 2021 my daughter was diagnosed with lupus and was in and out of the hospital. Her lupus was attacking her liver and kidneys and from her first major flare up had created cerosis of the liver . Almost A year went by with constant Dr.’s apps-6 specialists to be exact and continued monthly labs to monitor her and high doses of medications to calm her immune system. I took her to see Jimmy and within a month her labs started to level out to be better and better. She has been off of the strong medications now and in remission for a year! Her rheumatologist at her last appt said that it had been amazing that for as bad as her first flare up was that she has stayed in this zone with no further flare ups for this long. She said she doesn’t typically see this with her type of case and with all of the children she treats typically they are always back on the heavy medications within the first year. I continue to take my daughter to see Jimmy for regular tune-ups and she now asks to go and see him as well. I couldn’t thank him enough for all that he has done." - Christy / Florida

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here Use Stripe for subscription Click here. Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy? If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

30-Days of Prayer - $99

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

We have finally completed the migration of the Mastery & Practitioner Certification Courses and are now opening up the BRAND NEW ONLINE TRAINING CENTER! All are welcome to create a FREE account to access the NEW and IMPROVED MLF Basic Training Course and also know that both Mastery & Practitioner courses have been UPGRADED with new information & lessons!

Visit now, Click Here!

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

The Fish Market

Below is list of over 35 titles in the MyBeliefWorks Clearings audio series, monthly Zoom clearing call replays and Guided Energy Processess. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Receiving Abundance Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Enthusiasm for Life Financial Windfall Gold Coin: Money in All Forms Healing Family Relationships Healing Body Disorders Joy of Money

IRS Stress & Taxes Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Lucky 777 Finding Love & Romance Mental Stress Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Pro$perity Unlocked Traveling with Ease Treasure Chest Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

We now offer digital Gift Certificates for gift-giving. Gift a free session, daily prayers or clearing audios/videos to someone special. You simply select the denomination that matches the gift you'd like to give from the options on this page amounts from $19 - $225.

Buy Gift Certificates here

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

View Full Zoom Replay Collection

Terahertz Quantum Frequency Wand The power of this frequency seems to reach every corner of the human cell, bringing about "activation" to the human body. The frequency is very effective for working on weak human cells, enzymes and DNA, restoring the body to its normal state. Use code: TSG10 get 10% off (Now back in stock!)

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments ???Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins Search FAQ Create Your FREE MEMBERS Account Clearing Audio Downloads? and eBooks Get Certified in MLF Mastery or Practitioner Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2023 All Rights Reserved

0 notes

thedivinefish · 11 months

Text

TGIWednesday: Sounds like I should pack my overnight bag

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

On Deck... What is Life Force Energy?

Tentative release is July 7th (7/7/2023)

UPCOMING LIVE ZOOM EVENT

JOIN US ON A SPECIAL DAY THURSDAY- JUNE 29TH at 7:30PM EASTERN Theme: Harmony Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and replay)

1) Personal wish: I would like to be more in harmony with ________________

2) Wish for others: let’s harmonize____________ so that we can be on the same page and be in a better place together

3) World view: let’s be more in harmony with the earth, the climate, world peace, etc

**All submissions must be rec'd by Wed. June 28th at [email protected]

Pre-Register Now - $22

FREE Live Appearances

You Wealth Revolution Season 25 Hosts: Darius Barazandeh & Jimmy Mack SPECIAL LIVE ZOOM Q&A WITH LIVE CALLERS!NEXT TUESDAY JUNE 20TH 3:30PM Eastern Time / 2:30 CT / 12:30 PT

Your Divine Uniqueness With host Moncef Akfir TAKING LIVE CALLERSTHURSDAY AUGUST 18TH 2:00PM Eastern Time

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

Come See Me In Tampa

SESSIONS AT SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office on the last Friday of each month

The next opportunity for Tampa office sessions: FRIDAY AUGUST 4TH

Please call their office directly at ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

From the Fish Box

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

Visit now, Click Here!

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

The Fish Market

Buy Gift Certificates here

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

View Full Zoom Replay Collection

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 11 months

Text

TGIWednesday: Sounds like I should pack my overnight bag

TGIWednesday News

TGIWednesday Download

On Deck... What is Life Force Energy?

Tentative release is July 7th (7/7/2023)

UPCOMING LIVE ZOOM EVENT

JOIN US ON A SPECIAL DAY THURSDAY- JUNE 29TH at 7:30PM EASTERN Theme: Harmony Pre-register at Calendly for $22 (includes reminders and replay)

1) Personal wish: I would like to be more in harmony with ________________

2) Wish for others: let’s harmonize____________ so that we can be on the same page and be in a better place together

3) World view: let’s be more in harmony with the earth, the climate, world peace, etc

**All submissions must be rec'd by Wed. June 28th at [email protected]

Pre-Register Now - $22

FREE Live Appearances

You Wealth Revolution Season 25 Hosts: Darius Barazandeh & Jimmy Mack SPECIAL LIVE ZOOM Q&A WITH LIVE CALLERS!NEXT TUESDAY JUNE 20TH 3:30PM Eastern Time / 2:30 CT / 12:30 PT

Your Divine Uniqueness With host Moncef Akfir TAKING LIVE CALLERSTHURSDAY AUGUST 18TH 2:00PM Eastern Time

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

Come See Me In Tampa

SESSIONS AT SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office on the last Friday of each month

The next opportunity for Tampa office sessions: FRIDAY AUGUST 4TH

Please call their office directly at ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

From the Fish Box

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

*Upon sending an email request after your purchase, you can receive a one-time sample/example of the software analysis. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

30-Days of Prayer - $99

?Visit our ?NEW O?nline ?TRAININ?G? CENTER

Visit now, Click Here!

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

The Fish Market

Buy Gift Certificates here

Healing and Grounding Mats for all occasions Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one! View Grounding Mats here Use code: MyLiquidFishfs for Free Shipping

View Full Zoom Replay Collection

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

**We are NOT involved in the sales or shipping process of the 3rd party items, please contact them directly.

TGIFunny

Forward

0 notes