#so sorry for clogging ur dash with my upsetness

[oh-katsuki]

okay so it’s late and this is super off topic for my blog but… I’m thinking about the teachers I’ve come across in my life that genuinely.. had grudges against me.

I mean… professional educators who went to school to learn how to teach, holding personal grudges against a third grader. how awful is that? how does that happen?

I’m sitting here thinking about two particular teachers, the first being my third grade teacher who treated me so poorly. he consistently picked on me in class and would get upset with me for asking questions during our math lessons. I feel so indignant because what did I, as a child in the classroom to learn, do to deserve that type of anger from a 30 something year old man?

I’m thinking about how a grown adult can look at a child and justify being foul and sour to them, to the point that it made me believe that I was just… not capable of doing math like the other students were. his insults, unwillingness to be patient, and expectation for me to fail was so obvious to me as a child that I carried the belief with me that’d I’d never be good at math through my adult life. I still think I’m incapable of doing math properly. Because of him. I genuinely cannot help but think how my life would be different had he not made the choice, as an adult, to pick on me about my math skills to the point that my parents noticed. it is the reason I don’t like math. it’s the reason I didn’t do WELL in math as a young child. because this particular teacher made me feel not as if I needed extra help… but as if I were incapable because he decided he didn’t like me.

another was my fifth grade teacher. a fifty year old woman who made it so obvious that she didn’t like me that other students didn’t want to sit in the same desk group as me. constantly picked on me for talking when I wasn’t and actively discouraged me from reading in the classroom.

when I found that I wasn’t good at math, I developed a deep appreciation for reading and would read in my free time at school. in her class, I would sit in the classroom during recess (because we had the option to) and read books I’d checked out from the library because… reading was something I could understand and something I knew I was good at.

when the bell would ring, if I didn’t snap my book shut immediately, I would be yelled at and have the book taken from me for the remainder of the day. this happened even if my classmates were still coming in from the yard. I would finish assignments early and pull out a free reading book, only for this educator to snap at me and tell me I wasn’t allowed to until I’d finished my assignment (despite the fact that I had). I remember feeling so humiliated and picked on by this woman who was supposed to foster that love for reading and education. instead, what was once her snapping at me only for me to correct her that I had finished the assigned became her asking if I had completed all my homework for the week. what was once a free reading period in class became a homework period for me specifically.

I remember feeling awful in class to the point that I stopped reading books entirely out of a fear of being picked on. I’ve been a well behaved kid most of my life, I have ADHD which affects my focus (undiagnosed at the time), but I would complete my class work. I remember feeling so defeated because I already felt I was incapable of succeeding in math and now, I felt afraid to read in an environment meant for that. after leaving that class, I never picked up reading as a hobby again. not until I was a senior in high school and had an English teacher who I particularly appreciated.

this is all just a long winded way of me saying that my life… my interests… my own self confidence in my capabilities would have been different had I had educators who understood what it meant to be an educator of young children. it’s incredibly odd to me that students as young as 10 can say “my teacher hates me” without adults raising an eyebrow. why is it okay for a grown adult to pick on a child in the classroom that way? why has it been so normalized for grown adults to take their anger out on the youth in their classrooms?

children are not perfect. children are not machines. they require patience and time and care and repetition. the fact that the some educators in my life didn’t understand or respect that, yet they are still educators, and as a result my future and my confidence in my skills into adulthood were affected… is a disservice. normalize empathy in classrooms for children over 8. normalize understanding that to be a teacher means you can’t hold a grudge against a fucking child because they can’t pick concepts up as quickly as you can.

#this makes no sense #but like…. I’m so upset #I’m so upset over this and it’s fucked with me for my entire adult life #every time I think ‘haha I can’t do math’ I think of mr. park crouching in front of my desk #and pointing to an equation I didn’t understand saying ‘what are you not getting??? I JUST explained this.’ #I think about sitting in front of my peers while he hands back my homework assignment filled with red and a note saying to stay after class #only for that meeting after class to result in me being yelled at and told I need to perform better #all I can think about is how AFRAID I was to ask questions #god…… #FUCK educators who lack the patience to deal with children #FUCK THEM #also feel free to reblog this #I’m more than okay with that #also I’m sorry this is so long and to clog ur dash #it’s just important to me that people know this

[theaspers]

I HAVE RISEN! MUHAHA Hai ish me again! R u okay bb? Here my virtual tissues and a hug to u 💞💖💝 u can vent to me if u want to. I can come off of anon if that would help. Hopefully I've scrolled thru everything so I'm up to date. Also I think I don't have a word limit anymore wowwwwww. I moved from iPhone to android (but like barely... I haven't properly transfered anything except my sim card 😂). Wow it's a whole new world here.

For periods u can lay on ur back and prop ur legs up against a wall or door (so u make an L shape) that's a lifesaver I got from another Tumblr user. A blanket over ur upper body when u lay like that is always noice too. Can try period yoga. I do yoga with Adriene videos but I haven't tried that specific one out. Also if u don't eat a lot of red meat n chilli u can probably have ginger tea with brown sugar. That one always helps me out. So long as ur body isn't naturally considered hot then it should work well.

ALSO I read ur new fic!!!!! Congrats on getting it out (and am happily waiting for anything Zhongli even tho I know literally nothing about the man haha). I'm usually not a huge fan of Dia and luci in a romantic way but for u Zara I WILL READ THE GREAT WORKS PROCURED BY OH MAGNIFICENT ONE! It made me so soft. Silly luci trying to put up a fight with the relationship. He's such a Lil doof hahaha. And the touches n lap sitting ughhhhhh I wanna be there man 😭 that would feel so divine~~ The demon language but was a v appreciated touch (I never really thought about something like that lol mind u I still don't play the game!). It was v well written! I totally think u have maintained ur touch! Please give credit to ur self!

I've been really busy. Had to suddenly get gifts for peeps and then now doing birthday stuff for two of my besties (cuz covid cockblocked us before) n jobs man. Had a few breakdowns about it but I expected it tbh. Proud of myself tho n Im planning to get back to driving! Sorry I'm like dumping my life on u cuz I haven't interacted in soooo longgggg! I promise I'll check out the Achilles song after I wake up (cuz I should be sleeping rn) but in the meantime I Hope Luci Comes Home For You! Have fun tag teaming with ur siblings (I think?) in genshin and a HUGE ✨CONGRATULATIONS✨for making it thru uni! I'm proud of u hehe. Much love until next time 😊 - lurker anon

under the cut bc i dont wanna clog ppl’s dash 🥺🙏🏻

HI! i have to thank you for taking ur time to write this ask, especially since you mentioned you’ve been busy!! i’m so glad you could drop by and we could catch up a little!! this made me very happy, if you could believe it. kinda like we’re friends and we’re catching up 😭 so thank you so much for this message!! very thoughtful of you, and i really appreciate it!! you don’t need to come off anon if you’re more comfortable on anon, okay? 🥺😭💖

i’m fine, actually! it’s nothing terrible!! just one of those random bouts of sadness, yknow? ones you can’t really explain so you just gotta ride it out. but i think i’ll be okay. and even if not, well, that’s okay too hehe and thank you so much for the advice! i’ll definitely have to try those out.

AAAAA you definitely did not have to scroll through my blog. i post so much crap, why would you put yourself through that 😭 still, i’m very happy that you enjoyed the dia/reader/luci fic! i really am attached to that au tbh, have lots of feelings and thoughts about those three shdjd i think they mentioned briefly that the demons have a different language? and that’s been living in my brain rent free for the longest time bc i love it SO MUCH.

and ZHONGLI aaaaa i have so many thoughts and feelings for him too and i really wanna try writing a full fic for him. hopefully i’ll be able to do that soon 😭

it seems like your life has been a little tough and a little hectic~ i can’t offer much but pls remember to take breaks, and drink some water! i’m proud of you too for getting through everything!!! hope you enjoy achilles come down, honestly i’m obsessed with it. i hope lucifer comes home too bc i will be Upset if he doesn’t 😤 also i don’t mind the long messages tbh they really make my day tbh shdjs i’ll be here if you ever need to talk! aaa much love, and thanks again!! 💖💖💖

#answered #lurker anon

[chal-lelerc]

On the same note, can Lando fans stop acting like every time someone says "Lando fans" they must mean his entire fanbase? Some Lando fans are sending DEATH THREATS to people (ie Jimmy Broadbent of all people?? and no one is talking about it???) for crashing into him in a virtual race. All because you people can't help blowing things up and going on rant after rant every time Lando has some kind of issue with a GAME? Yall need to chill, this is getting ridiculous

genuinely cannot parse thru the tone of this ask? is this directed at myself in particular orrr am a mere vessel thru which u r trying to reach the general populous?

idrk what note this is following as i havent really posted any personal input about lando and the past few days. if ur referencing my (old) post complaining ab how people lump lando stans together, sorry but it’s my opinion and something i feel is rather subjective. when people say “lando fans are stupid and neurotic and etc.” it’s hard, as a lando fan, to not feel that ur being included. (more under cut bc i actually want to discuss but don’t want to clog people’s dash with yet another “rant”)

idk how people not talking ab the death threats jimmy is receiving is "all because” of people getting upset over, as you say, lando having issues with a GAME, but if this is true, it’s obviously unacceptable and vile behavior.

on the note of “just a game”, it’s kind of unfair to blame people for getting invested. we’re all bored and in quarantine and without sports and getting invested in games is how some people choose to deal with it. the same can honestly be said for irl sports really -- why get heated over this ultimately irrelevant thing where people try to beat others when there are bigger things to worry about? bc people have interests. and maybe i just havent been around the block enough but the “rants” that i’ve been seeing are just people giving their two cents on the rather unfair treatment lando’s been receiving after getting shunted away from a pretty clear win. certainly, there r people also getting worked up over issues he’s had with like f1 2019 but that’s tumblr for u. the internet is a hub for people that can’t chill. for the most part, ignoring these kinds of posts isnt that difficult.

sorry if i’m not taking this ask as intended but also i feel like i am so.

#lando norris #f1 #ask #anon #anonymous #look at me putting too many feelings into an ask that doesn't warrant it and showing off my illiteracy in the english language. #am embarrassed and may delete soon

[hrina]

.

#ok i am so pissed and for such!!! a!!!! stupid!!!! reason!!!! #i just wanted a fuckin mcflurry from mcdonalds but the one near my house ran out of fuckin ice cream you've gotta be kidding me #and it's such a dumb and trivial thing but i've just had to endure 5 hours of judgemental relatives who were fuckin analyzing my entire life #and my mum was unwilling to drive to a mcdonalds that was slightly further away #and its so dumb bc I COULD EASILY GO IF I HAD MY LICENSE BUT I'M FUCKIN TERRIFIED TO DRIVE #and im just so mad and miserable bc i feel like such an incompetent piece of shit like who doesn't have their license? #and my parents keep telling me to get it but DONT THEY REALIZE I FUCK UP EVERYTHING I TOUCH?? imagine me trying to drive a fuckin car #and like i said i just spent hours with a bunch of judgmental relatives #so ofc i'm feeling like a piece of shit bc who DOESNT after being criticized for the whole day #and im just fuckin dumb like i can't do anything right no matter what i do its never good enough and ppl always find a way to yell at me #and i'm starting a new semester for school tomorrow so i have to endure countless projects and tests again and i just wanna die #like this weekend was amazing for the most part bc i felt relaxed since i was done exams but then my mum made me look up scholarships #and they're all due by the 15th of feb and it's just so stressful now and that paired with a new semester makes me so damn stressed again #like i can't catch a fuckin break i just want a week just a goddamn week where i don't have to worry about anything #but apparently thats impossible bc PPL ALWAYS WANT SOMETHING FROM ME #and i just rly wanted a goddamn mcflurry fucking hell #and now im just sitting here like a fuckin idiot crying my eyes out and its so dumb and im fuckin stupid for getting so upset over this #which just makes me hate myself even more #i just wanna die #sorry for clogging ur dash i don't usually vent my feelings here so i feel like a dam just broke im sorry #shut up cass

[cowplant-pizza]

Ok listen, I love those clothes you got, are you going to do a little review of them all? They legit look sooo good on you!! Your gorgeous!!! Did all of the clothes come from new look of are they all from different places? Would it be too much to ask where? I love sweaters so much and those are some nice ones!! Anyway have a good day/night!! Ily

from misguided

send noods tshirt - 4/5

super cute idea and graphic but hangs very loose and isn’t well fitted. probably needs to be worn tucked into some jeans or skirt in order to look cute! maybe with some trainers or doc martins

black crew neck - 3/5

this was a lot shorter than it looked in the picture which kinda upset me aaa. also it wasn’t in my size so i got a size smaller. its a nice material but really does ride up short so if ur self concious like me u’ll need to wear high wasted stuff or just wear it as a pj top lol

 tennessee nashville sweater - 5/5

ok this is super soft and comfy and is super cute too

mustard colour block jumper - 5/5

material is super soft and thick. could imagine myself wearing this with skinny jeans and brouges and feeling hella cute. i was worried that it would ride up short but it doesnt!

black stripe tshirt - 4/5

this is perfect apart from the fact that the material is sorta weird?? like i can imagine getting really sweaty in it on a hot day lol

green tartan hoodie - 5/5

in the sale which makes it even better!! super light and comfy. fits perfect!! hood makes it even more stylish and the red and green complement each other really well. it’ll be awesome for when im in my more masculin moods

 brown borg jacket - 3/5

i think its not worth this much money tbh. its very nice but in the pics u can see its the least flattering. its like a puffy, fluffy blazer and i think it would look nice with some outfits but not really that much with others yano? its also not fluffy inside too which is a shame 

denim jaket with collar - 3/5

if you get this, defo get a size smaller. its very very baggy and oversized which i sorta dont like with denim jakets cause it makes me look fat lol. but its still very stylish! i just hate the way it sits on my shoulders 

from new look

camel grid coat - 5/5

i was super torn between this colour and the grey one tbh but i just fell in love with the outfit the model was wearing in the picture of the camel one. it’s so cute!!! fits amazingly, makes you look nice and slim and has a really nice cut at the bottom. the material is soft but not fuzzy like some of new looks clothes are. im v happy with this one!!

burgandy teddy jaket - 5/5

this was sort of an impulse buy. i didn’t need any more coats at this point but i saw it an i was like omg thats cute!! the material is super soft like i could literally lie on it. it also sorta doubles up as a cardigen, coat and jumper all at the same time cause it zips up really nice and still leaves lots of room!

black borg denim jacket - 3/5

i desperatley wanted a borg denim jacket but all of the blue denim ones were sold out or werent what i was looking for so i decided to go for a black one instead. it sits sorta funny at the minute but im sure once i wear it long enough it should look ok! the material is very stiff and the wool is sort of a funny texture 

yellow chevron jumper - 4/5

i so depseratley wanna give this 5/5 but it arrived with a few pulls in the threads aaa!! but it looks very nice on and is sooooo soft i wanna live in it

cream teddy coat - 4/5

this is the entire reason why i even went shopping lmao?? i like it a lot but it is veryyy oversized. i personally like that but some people might not. it also feels very bulky on so i think you’d have to wear skinny jeans or something with it so you don’t look massive lol. while looking for the link i actually found this one which is a super cute version of it and id recommend getting it instead tbh!! 

stripey crew neck - 2/5

very very horrible material against ur skin. looks super cute i will admit!! but it is super tight which is a shame because i have a big belly aaaa. also the neck comes down a bit lower than in the picture so.. yea. im disappointed 

navy sweatshirt - 5/5 (no link im sorry! i think it might’ve sold out?)

super comfy and has a high neck to hide my double chins lol

[occulthorror-remade]

0-50 :)

OOF that’s all the asks so i’m putting it under a read more so i don’t clog up ppl’s dashes :V (also sorry but i kinda half-assed a lot of these lmao)

0 - height

around 4′11 - 5′2

1 - age?

15

2 - shoe size

not sure actually lol

3 - do you smoke?

uhhh sometimes (but it’s my mom’s e-cig)

4 - do you drink?

i’ve had a few sips b4

5 - do you take drugs?

yeah, i smoke weed (not that often tho since it’s my parent’s stash, momma let’s me smoke it)

6 - age you get mistaken for

nobody rlly assumes my age but someone thought i was 9 once

7 - have tattoos?

nah

8 - want any tattoos?

mmm kinda??

9 - got any piercings?

nope

10 -  want any piercings?

yeah

11 - best friend?

uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh John and Robin tbh (but like all of my friends r my best friends)

12 - relationship status

taken by my lovely Vi !!! in an open relationship tho

13 - biggest turn ons

skjgkjsdkjsk A LOT

14 - biggest turn offs

douchebags

15 - favorite movie

oof it’s a tie between House of Wax and the Cube series !!!

16 - i’ll love you if…

u buy me caramel frappes and listen to me talk about my dumb special interests

17 - someone you miss

hhjfhfg,, a lot,, of ppl,,,,, but,, Danny mostly

18 - most traumatic experience

the entirety of being with my ex (she was abusive)

19 - a fact about your personality

non-existent as of late

20 - what i hate most about myself

everything????

21 - what i love most about myself

i honestly can’t think of anything

22 - what i want to be when I get older

a vet tech

23 - my relationship with my sibling(s)

uh kinda sucky

24 - my relationship with my parent(s)

ok i guess?? i have a better relationship with my mom than i do with my dad

25 - my idea of a perfect date

watching Ghost Adventures and/or American Horror Story together uwu”

26 - my biggest pet peeves

i have, a lot lmao, but like. women who go “just wait until you have kids (:” or “wait until ur my age :))” shit like that

27 - a description of the girl/boy i like

oof okay so not going with a celebrity the girl i like is super cute and nice and the enby i like is also really nice and i’m willing to bet super cute and they’re both Super Valid

28 - a description of the person i dislike the most

uhhhhhhhhh beady eyes has a stupid overbite and can’t stop talking about when he used to live in Germany

29 - a reason i’ve lied to a friend

can’t think of one but i know i’ve lied to my friends a bunch of times (who doesn’t tho?????)

30 - what i hate the most about work/school

EVERYTHING????

31 - what my last text message says

idk i don’t text ppl

32 - what words upset me the most

a Lot

33 - what words make me feel the best about myself

valid, good boy, boy

34 - what i find attractive in women

nothing (i may be pan but i’m hardly even attracted 2 women lmao) (i guess,, personality idk)

35 - what i find attractive in men

EVEERYTHING HOO I’M GAY  BOYS &  MEN R SO GREAT

36 - where i would like to live

oof a lot of places but! Australia, Texas, Japan, and maybe Miami!

37 - one of my insecurities

everything lol (but especially my face and my weight)

38 - my childhood career choice

i used 2 wanna be a teacher/singer !! lmao

39 - my favorite ice cream flavor

CHOCOLATE and cookies and cream

40 - who i wish i could be

a Better Person Who Isn’t Exhausted/Depressed All The Time™

41 - where i want to be right now

in Texas with Vi

42 - the last thing i ate

nachoes

43 - sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

Julian (Trailer Park Boys) and Zak Bagans

44 - a random fact about anything

i am InValid™

#long post