#so once again: terfs can go fuck themselves in the not pleasant way <3

[luminarai]

hey, hi, I was just on the former bird app and came across this info from a brand new study and now I cannot stop screaming internally??? what the actual fuckkkk

theres' an article from the guardian here and here is the actual study:

#period products #menstruation #what the fuck what the fuck!!! #i know i probably shouldn’t be surprised but wtffff #idk what to tag this but #science #menstrual bleeding #heavy bleeding #period problems #reproductive health #alt text #described #physical health #blood mention tw #periods #edit: btw I skimmed the article overview and I’m glad to say it seems very inclusive #so once again: terfs can go fuck themselves in the not pleasant way <3 #it always bears repeating and I will ad naseum

[maryibgarry102]

Me: Bring up how bi/pan lesbian can have lesbophobic implications that make me uncomfortable (ie the idea that lesbians can be attracted to men, or that lesbian as an identity is only about sex), makes it very clear, MULTIPLE TIMES, that i'm only bringing up my feelings about the term and how it can make me uncomfortable as a lesbian as opposed to saying "you can't ID this way whatsoever and if you do i want to attack you and exclude you from the community"

Them: Don't ID police, also infighting makes us weak so don't blame them as a whole for homophobia/transphobia and like just focus on being a community, it's not our place to be critical of other labels? so like don't do it at all :)

Like not once did I say people aren't allowed to ID as bi/pan lesbians (cause like even if i personally am upset by it i can't force them to ID as something else and i don't know their sexuality/gender like they do), or that they somehow aren't allowed in the LGBT community, and not once did I blame that label or those individuals who use it for homophobia/transphobia as a whole (i literally just said that as a lesbian i'm upset by the implications because it can contribute to lesbophobia).

Also, the LGBT community is literally made up of multiple, smaller identities that face their own sets of issues, some of which are not shared by everyone. There will naturally be conflict! Even more, if there are issues, they need to be at the very least addressed if we ever hope to change for the better. If we ignore these problems in an effort not to upset anyone, how will we ever get better? How will we ever grow stronger as a community? Conflict and criticism is necessary for learning and growing, and we'll never be able to have better intersectionality and be a better, healthier community if we try to completely avoid it.

Like, I used to ID as pansexual, and when I did I first defined it as "liking women, men, and transgender people." I wasn't aware of the transphobia in that at the time because I was young and uneducated. However, hearing what trans people would say about it, educating myself online, and being critical of myself helped me to realize I was being transphobic. Was it a comfortable experience? No, but it was necessary to learn and get better. I promptly changed my definition to "I'm attracted to all genders." (Turns out I'm a lesbian, and also pan as a label can in some situations be problematic too? but that's not the focus of this post.) I was never going to improve upon that transphobia if I never tried to address it or if no one confronted me about it. Would you rather have me continue to use that transphobic definition and ignore confronting me about it because it would make me "uncomfortable"?? NO LIKE THE OBVIOUS ANSWER IS NO, because the idea being spread about transgender people contributed to transphobia, whether intended or not, and was harmful. Being critical of labels, definitions, and what we say/do is necessary in some situations; after all, if we never were critical, how could we improve upon our issues?

We all have biases and issues we deal with, and everything we do and say has consequences. It's never pleasant to realize something you do/say can hurt people, but we can't do nothing. Problems need to be addressed, at the least, if we ever hope to improve, even if it's not always a comfortable experience; our community is allowed to discuss intersectional issues, SHOULD discuss those issues, because it's how we learn, grow, and become stronger as a whole. NOT by ignoring those issues because they're not always comfortable to address.

Infighting also is NOT the same as being open to discussing the issues within our community and trying to improve upon our biases? Like what the fuck was that nonsense

And along with that, I'm horribly upset because it felt like the moment I brought up a lesbophobic thing that hurts me, it felt way blown out of proportion like I was somehow attacking people for saying "this thing, i feel, can contribute to lesbophobia and that is upsetting to me." I was responded to as if I was being unfair or overly critical; and like i know sometimes bringing up bi/pan lesbians and my worries about the label can be mistook as me targeting them (that of which I do not and will never do ever because it's cruel and ridiculous to do something like that) so I was VERY specific on "this thing can bother me, and i want to discuss it openly, but my opinion doesn't mean bi/pan lesbians don't have valid experiences or that they don't matter or aren't in the LGBT community." But even with me saying that, even saying it over and over to make sure I was getting my message across, being as direct and respectful and polite as possible, me bringing up lesbophobia was brushed off as "you shouldn't bring this up because it can make people uncomfortable."

How many times are lesbians told, when bringing up lesbophobia and how it hurts us, that the lesbian community and it's problems don't matter. Lesbians ask for basic decency and respect and time and time again, no matter how respectful or mindful we are when doing so, we're constantly made out as an evil community that doesn't matter, that causes unneccessary conflict, that is unreasonable and awful and, in some cases I've seen, "deserved to be oppressed." We have to deal with lesbophobia in the LGBT community A LOT, to the point where many lesbians feel horribly isolated and alone; it's so bad to the point that some TERFs will actively target lesbians so they can try and use that isolation to further manipulate their targets, many of which are minors, into becoming TERFs themselves. It's horrendous how rampant lesbophobia is, both in the open discrimination against us, as well as in the silence.

Anyways, I'm very upset as a lesbian because I feel like I'm dealing directly with that lesbophobia right now in the way I was responded to; even if it wasn't overt, even if it was subtle, I'm indirectly being told that I'm unreasonable, I'm being a bother by saying as a lesbian I'm hurt by something, I'm being told that I don't matter. That my identity as a lesbian and the pain I go through as a result of lesbophobia doesn't matter as much as someone getting uncomfortable when I point out even just the implication of lesbophobia. That hurts; I hurt.

I just feel so betrayed and isolated and upset right now. Sorry if this rant is a lot I'm just really not happy at the moment, like I've literally cried like 3 times in the past hour

#rose's notes #rose's rants #long post #lesbian #lesbophobia #personal post #lgbt #rose's vents