#so it's not as if I can hope to get a good grade anyways! And the money prize is only for 110/100 marks so who cares about it going well.

[social-anxiety-and-poetry]

hey todd !! how do you see your relationships with all of the other poets?

Hello there!! Hmm it's only been a few weeks, so I don't want to assume anything, but genuinely, since meeting the dead poets, I've never been happier (please don't tell them because I'll be teased for days-).

They can be quite an- overwhelming bunch, but I genuinely do care about them so much.

Charlie is incredibly outgoing, and loud at times, but that's just Charlie and honestly he's a joy to be around. He's never once made me feel uncomfortable and always respects when I need my personal space- he also brings the best snacks, especially on days when I'm feeling more anxious, which I'm so grateful for.

Meeks has been tutoring me Latin and Algebra lately, which is the only thing saving my grades at the moment- oh joy to the miracle that is Meeks' brain! Plus the random facts he rambles about throughout the day are really interesting (I am now an expert on the history of linguistics in Europe). He's a really good listener, and I can always talk to him about any philosophers or literature I find interesting!

Pitts is always hanging around Meeks, but he's a chill guy, and I love sitting to read with him in the library when the classwork isn't too much. He's always tinkering with something- I don't even know how he makes half the stuff he does.

Knox when he's not blabbering nonsense about the colour of Chris' eyes or something is incredibly kind, although quite cocky (someone needs to keep that ego in check before he does something silly).

Cameron, I'm not really that close to. We are more acquaintances than friends, he can be quite snappy at times, and isn't too pleased by the dps shenanigans, but I don't really have anything against him.

And... Neil. He's been wonderfully thoughtful and kind. Ever since he's welcomed me as his roommate, we've only gotten closer- since we've started the dead poets meetings, he's never forced me to speak and has so much patience in everything. Often, he helps me out with public speaking and things like that, and I know this sounds quite stupid, but it's as if he can read my mind?? Like whenever I feel overwhelmed, he'll hold my hand to ground me, and he knows when I'm not being entirely truthful with a quirk of his eyebrow, and remembers silly stuff I mentioned a week ago. His eyes- he always makes the most intense eye contact, and usually I hate being in scrutinised in such a way, but with him?? Anyway I'm rambling right now- but in all fairness I really don't deserve him. I do hope he gets into the play, he really deserves all the goodness in this world and more.

#they are one of the best things that have happened to me #I finally feel like I belong somewhere #ask blog #dead poets society #dps #dps ask blog #dead poets fandom #dead poets society ask blog #rp blog #dead poets society rp #dps roleplay #dead poets #todd anderson

[piplupcola]

I just want to commend you artists, you writers, you game designers and cosplayers and anyone who does creative stuff out there on finding the courage to create. Many of you out there are plagued with depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, imposter syndrome and so many other worries and doubts about your ability to create. I am one such person, and though I have so many ideas and stories in my head i could explode, I lose confidence in my ideas and skill so rapidly from just holding a pen, basically nothing ever gets put on page. I'll tell myself I'm lucky if I even get a single drawing done in a year, frankly calling myself an artist is more a fraud than anything.

But you people, you creative amazing people manage to overcome that. No matter how good you think your work is or your level of skill, you draw and write and do it anyway, some of you even post it online for people to see, something I'm almost always ashamed about doing in fear of someone I know seeing it (why do u think I'm hiding here on tumblr where none of the much more talented people I know go). I've always admired yet envy you amazing people, who are passionate about art, who sit down and still make stuff after a long day of work because it makes u relax, who see art as joy than something you need to do because it's work, who would draw and create despite all the hardships and doubts and worries the world and yourself have place upon you.

The fact that you're able to get pass all that and get a sketch, a word, an idea down on a page, I think you all are so very incredibly brave. Much braver than me at least. No matter where you are on your creative journey right now, keep doing what you're doing and create. It is those that keep going that make it to success in the end. I unfortunately will not be one those people, but I hope that I can keep cheering others on instead.

#art #artists #honestly its late and i might delete this in the morning #i just wanna get this out of my head so i can sleep #artists on tumblr #i feel like if i ever get drunk this is what my rambles would be like #idk cos i dont drink #but i hope ill be an encouraging drunk more than a sad drunk #right now with half my brain begging me to sleep i feel like both #keep drawing guys #thats the long and short of it #i came out of art school learning that i could never be an artist #not because of skills or anything its bcos i just have no drive to create like others #no matter how well i did in school it was always just to get a good grade #that when i left school there were no more assignments and i never could draw like i did in school again #it was then that i realise i could draw if i had to but i could never truly be an artist who draws bcos they want to #its just something i accepted and i need to learn to move on from #anyways night rambles #im gonna delete this later #im like that snowman in Undertale #i wont be able to go where you all go but i hope youll take a piece of me with you through all your art #anyways drink lots of water stayin school fuck AI and im gonna pass out #artist on tumblr

[panzershrike-pretz]

Guess the fuck who started their morning with a panic attack

#i call it a level 8 based on my experience #could've been worse #my dog was in pain so I panicked about tgat #she's at the vet now and i know its in good hands but i'm still anxious #she's my whole reason to live so I just hope she gets better #i'm lonely now :( #but i'm doing better too just crying a bit but I guess that's understandable #they think she had a back injury and now I'm just standing here thinking of a whole plan to get ramps on every single furniture #anyway one hell of a way to start your thursday #🥨🪶 #out the window with my plans of making the school homework today #i don't care about them at all when she's far away and i'm worried as all hell #grades be fucked I can re-do a semester but not re-do my time with her #oh well thought I'd tell yall so I don't go crazy all on my own here

[anglerflsh]

when will this bloody exam be over with I want to go to uni already!! Good Lord

#[.txt] #looking over at my history course. At the monastery I'll be hosted in. At the medieval city I'll be moving to. Can it be september already. #I cannot emphasize enough how much i don't care about my final grade for this exam. 20% of it is math and my teacher was terrible #so it's not as if I can hope to get a good grade anyways! And the money prize is only for 110/100 marks so who cares about it going well. #I just want it gone and passed with a 60. Please. It's a useless exam in any case. #literally it was just made so private schools could give out the same qualifications and there has GOT to be a better way to do that. #OR. Or just have an exam at the end of each year. Why only on the last. man #tomorrow I have the essay (20%) and the day after math (another 20%) and my final interview for another 20% is on the fifth of July #and I already have a full 37/100 credits so I just need 23 points. Which between the essay and the interview I'm sure to get. let me outttt

[xannerz]

roblox death noise

#vigo's pancreatitis is better now btw #he's bounced back really well and i cannot overstate my relief #but the entire ordeal and vet bill broke me #*i* haven't bounced back from it #like i've already been shouldering a lot and that made me snap lmfao #so i've just been like moseying along day to day waiting for the evening so i can go back to sleep #talking takes too much energy. so does just. yk. emoting like an average ass person lmao #i feel like terrible company. idk #cant draw cant write cant exercise can barely walk my dog #and i hate it b/c it feels like i'm fishing for excuses #ive had therapists tell me i'm very self-aware and i dont mean that in a 'i got a good grade in therapy' type of way LMAO #but in the 'if i know then i know then why am i here spinning my wheels and boohooing' type of way #like despite my own bad habits i wanna consider myself a person who has at least some hope and ambition #but i've just been super like done. lmaoo #but lately i just cant. i cannot envision a future for myself. not w/ the way things are. #these are things that *should* be independent of me but aren't. so i get roped into taking care of things. #over and over and over and over again. for over 10 years LMFAO #anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : ) #xangoeswah

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing #ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like #visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do #so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible #mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done #but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing #how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate #and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem #it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research #assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head #and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck #it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing? #i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads #to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood? #hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing? #idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed #bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me #so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a #slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would #b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh. #unrelated

[crescentfool]

Hi 👉👈 I don’t have a lot to say, I just wanted to hi give you from across the room because I followed you for P3 but it turns out you and I share a ton of fandoms and I just think that’s really super neat.

You get a good grade in fandom taste 💖

WAVES HI!! thank you for the follow and message, it makes me happy to hear that you've enjoyed seeing the other media i've reblogged stuff of! P3 is definitely something i hold close to my heart, but i have lots of media i'm full of love for too! so thank you for appreciating it, i hope you enjoy your stay! 🥺💙

#lizzy askbox #GIVES U A HANDSHAKE ACROSS THE DSITANCE!!! #also sorry but i giggled a little when i read 'a good grade in fandom taste' bc it made me think of that post thats like #“im gonna get a good grade in (blank) something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve” #ok but serious though!! i too.. am very thrilled whenever i see ppl that share interests i think it is so cool how ppl on earth- #sometimes end up having the same inch rests!!! #side note but i hope everyone enjoys the intermittent sylvain posting he comes by to my brain every other month to say hi LMAOOO #and also the SPLATOONS!! i dont rb much splat like ever cause unfortunately i cant open the tags to find art of my ocs but like #I LOVE WHEN PPL SHARE INTERESTS!!! YIPPEE!!! #also giving this time to shoutout xenoblade (esp 1) + pokemon + 3ds fire emblem + loz + a whole bunch of other things that i like #u can find them on my tags list in my bio!! if any of u also want to see other swag fanarts!! #i want to look at p3 fanwork tags again but IM STILL NOT DONE WITH RELOAD 😭 #<- guy who's stuck in tartarus rn and taking their chances just by existing online on the internet (TY everyone for being courteous ilysm) #anyway have a nice day!! thank you again for the ask!!! yippee!! 🙌🙌🙌

[baeshijima]

its 10pm, my project is due in 14 hours, im at around 800 words out of 2k, and im abt to power through an all-nighter with a gallon cups of tea bc adrenaline is high and sleep is fucked like usual <33

#sophie’s idle chatter #SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL #THIS IS NOT WORTH 20% OF MY GRADE GNSDFM #WAILS IN PICKING ENG LANG 😭😭 #anyway hello new followers and happy 3.8k??? 🤩 #but also i now have my jing yuan fic in the works OFFICIALLY so thats fun and i love him a lot #ALSO LIVESTREAM TMRW???? RIGHT BEFORE MY PROJECTS DUE????? BAIZHU???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #i will be crying for the next two weeks bc im on easter break after tmrw and can afford it ahah 🫶🫶 #anywho thats it for the life update bc i need to get back to this and just. finish it. so that i can never think abt it again. #will i come back tmrw?? will i just pass out when i get back home and wake up saturday morning??? #the latter is more likely than u think :'D #but yes hehehahahoho live laugh love i hope ur all doing much better than i am and this is me wishing u all a good night 🥹🫶🫶 #(bUT BAIZHU SOON BAIZHU REAL SCREECH)

[yangjeongin]

.

#had one of those days that was just fawking awful for no reason like just felt like garbage the entire day #looked at the syllabus and workload for the online class i start tuesday and #it is soooososososo much work. and i'm already kinda behind on work at my FULL TIME JOB so i'm like. there's no way in hell #i can get a decent grade in this class and keep my job at the same time while not wanting to die #it's an eight week class so there are like six assignments due per week and the due dates are on weekdays so it'll be so hard #to use my usual 'finish the assignment the day before it's due' strat #so i just told my parents i was like idk if i can do this y'all. and they were both okay w me potentially dropping it #so long as i take 16 week classes from here on out #so it's going to take me two extra years to graduate after it's already taken me four for a TWO YEARS ASSOCIATES DEGREE #that's on the physical and mental health issues. #but the good news is. if i do drop this class and have a break this semester then aslkfdlskdg #hyunjin birthday countdown: back on! winnable! #i'm working on the most complicated set of the countdown now hoping it doesn't make me too exhausted for the others asjflasjldg #still a bit less than halfway done #anyways. time to go to bed so i can wake up and try to function at work tomorrow #carly.txt

[ihateitheretaylor]

My brother needs to go to therapy. He has got huge family problems. His childhood was messed up.

#i really hope he gets enough amount of sleep everyday now #he doesn't reply/engage in conversations.. don't speak much.. kind of a silent person.. but there has been times when he was all too good #with talking to someone #Does early twenties really make you feel so much? I hope and i know and i know he will get better #so many harsh things have happened to bhaiya.. i would have never tolerated it all #i would be slamming each's face #so let me write this in my tumblr's diary #his underpants were filled with stones and his shirt was ripped when he was in 4th grade by his own sisters(cousins) #They had the “privileges” .. noone in family could speak against them cuz guess what their mother was a survival and a truly good person #So nothing was said to their kids #Anyways now we're good.. have many fun memories #Another time when he was in hostel in 6th grade some bad kids came in the bathroom camein bath #room & put bucket on his head and hit him hard #Horrible experiences #One time he was slapped by papa when papa and mummy was having a fight #And let me tell ya my father's palms are very big.. can be comforting but when applied with force one can break #I really hope everything gets better.. i'll try hard... Didn't expected april to be such a havoc-ing month #Please be kind 2023 to everyone #take the road less traveled by*

[lonesomedotmp3]

oh I love feeling somewhat hopeful and excited about academia again :( I just have to get through this hellish year and then next year should be so much better. KNOCK ON WOOD.

#tbh my term is basically over i just have to write fourish essays and then do an exam #but it's so hard to get the motivation to do them i just feel so far behind after Everything that went down #and I'm sleeping ok now (KNOCK. ON. FUCKING. WOOD. ) but what happened with it fully did wreck me #and i went from actually being pretty ahead of everything i had to do to being way behinf #**behind #and btw i asked for an extension and she was like yeah I'll check and get back to you. and then never responded #and it doesn't even go toward our grade. so that essay isn't getting fucking written lol #especially when i have one due worth 80% like be serious... #<- it's worse too because the 20% assignment was due in. you'll never guess when. february. so you can guess how that went #oh and i STILL haven't gotten my shitty february essay back from that professor i emailed either!!! girl HELLO #anyway. hope u enjoyed that tour to my terrible academic life #the thing is. and i don't know if this is worse. when i actually do do the work even when it's last minute etc i do well #like if i just crack down for a day i can get a first in whatever essay. but lately i just can't do it. because of the illnesses. #but it's fiiiiine i have a month and I'll write them and they'll be good and it'll be fine. knock on wood. 😐 #**YEAR. not term. my term IS over. and then i have my third one next month. I'm sure you don't care about this #but i like accuracy.

[tardis--dreams]

Guuuuys, I sent my application for my exchange semester!!! No idea if I'll do it, but I still kinda hope to get accepted, so I'm nervous now ahahaha

#i finished my letter of motivation last night #and i copied some parts from the one I had to write for my other exchange semester for dublin #and I actually don't hate what I wrote that much anymore #like i think my arguments are okay and i really hope they accept my transcript of records for my bachelors #because i have currently still a pretty good grade (because i havent written the thesis yet and once I've done this #my grade will plummet to the pits of hell because my prof will roast me so much I'll consider dropping out of uni lol) #but i still think it's unlikely to get into my 1st choice university #but oh well #a girl can dream #('girl (genderneutral)') #anyway #i can finally focus on work now #i am 80 hours behind lmao (help) #so i gotta get going #shut up amy

[vision-sound]

Getting either a grade or a request for revisions for the Music project tomorrow 😅

#I hope it’s just a good grade so I can be done lol 🤞 #it literally wasn’t even that bad and reminded me of a bunch of different music #but I got so worked up over it and spent so many hours on it #like I feel the beginnings of a panic attack rn and that would be my third that’s occurred due to this project 😭 #but I have the eagles again and I’m trying to have a positive mindset and hopefully it’ll go well :) #love how I’m using the eagles like a stuffed animal and holding them close #I don’t even know their names but their music is so lovely and comforting #I’m getting off topic but anyway #🤞🤞🤞

[adore-gregor]

So

#i have so many things going on in life right now #but i feel like i'm not doing good enough #uni stuff is starting to pile up once again #which was to be expected honestly 😅 #and i am very well aware that exams or presentations are not that important or grades... #there are more important things to life obviously and it's not really worth it loosing your head over #yet i kind of am #one problem is i knew but i didn't start to prepare earlier which lead to much stress and i had like barely any time last weekend #why is that? i kind of never learn from my mistakes i guess 🤦‍♀️ but also my mistakes never really hurt me #actually i have very decent grade quite a good average and a rather high number of credits already #i never once failed any course at uni despite my last minute studying often even with good grades #guess i have a talent for that but it doesn't make my life easier also #but i also try very hard despite when i realize that there's a chance i could fail i use every minute i have left #it's also not that i never prepare on time sometimes i do asignments very early or did so for a few exams #it's just that i know i can get away with it unfortunately #well today i had a presentation which i couldn't prepare as well for because i started too late #it didn't go too well i couldn't wing it as good as i hoped for #it was kind of embarassing but people will forget about it anyway so i'm not too worried #and it wasn't a total disaster at least i don't hope so if i failed the class the professor surely would have told me #i just feel disappointed in myself but also mistakes happen #and it's not just that...

[southislandwren]

In a lighter mood, thinkin about the time my boss sat on a milk crate in the ice cream room with me and read my repro flashcards to me so I could study at work

#it was so Montessori it’s like a core memory for me now #he’s like my dad fr like I know sometimes I complain about my boss but we are like actual good friends #anyway. I’m studying for repro now. gotta get a 50 on this exam to keep my passing grade in the class #diary post #(and maybe I’m secretly hoping I can study at work tomorrow too….)

[nomaishuttle]

budgeting is looking like hooooopefully i should have a pretty good amt of money saved up in time for moveout :] like around 5000 which is faiiiirly good my goal is 3 months costs backed up and obv i currently dont know emrm what the rent will be... hopefully i can find something fairly cheap butwe will see... and if i find one in a good walkable location ill save sm on lyft costs...

#im excited to try to walk more... i might even get myself a little wagon if im near enough to a gricery store n then i can actually go into #a store instead of just doing gricery deliveries!!!! which is exciting #butttt i am trying to keep my hopes In check since. yk. i was excited abt this house too n. yk. #but i also have to tell myself itll be better when i have my own place bc otherwise id go crazy . so im being cautiously optimistic... #bc my likee. my max rent cost is 1750 which for a studio seems like. reasonable max rent. rly id prefer <1500 but yk. how it is with #spaghetti.... #NORMALLY ill be making abttt 1000 a check i think. optimistically more since hopefully ill be able to do a lot more overtime ? so worst #case scenario i have to get a place that is 1750/mo 1. id only go with a 1750 if it was 1. the best apartment ever matching Literally every #single criteria on my grading list and 2. this is reiterating the last point bc its also on my grading list but utilities included.. #but. fingers crossed il be able t find something cheaper :] there r some good ones for pretty cheap.. ill have to do Vigorous checks si i #dont get scammed bc. legit cant afford it LMAO. i couldnt afford it last time eithe but shrugged.whayever i try not to think abt then bc #its. yk. i ws rly optimistic at that time and it hurts to remember how excited i was for this. but anyways... #this time fingers crossedd itll be different #AAANYWAYS. gn everyone #ohhb thinking abt my apartment (entirely theoretical atm)... guys its gonna be so awesome :] im so excited for hieronymus im #excited for my little wagon im excited to start a garden im excited to pick up hobbied #ik i planned to pick up gardening n all that when i moved here but. we know how that went lmao #so hopefully when im in a place i actually truly feel safe. thatl help #+itll be a studio LMAO so i eont be able t judt dhut myself into my room #anddd im thinking. if i do well with my gardening and keeping thise plsnts alive. ill consider getting a pet. but thats a ways away #obvi ik getting a pet is different from having a plant but. yk theres daily maintenance for both things and i wanna make sure i cn like. #achieve those things daily. if that makes sense... bc ik i have trouble with accomplishing daily tasks sometimes so id wanna make sure i gy #into the habit of Taking care of domething b4 i get a pet.hopdfully that is umderstandable NDNFJFNF. idk yet kf im.gonns get s cat or dog #theorrticlsly.. famously i want a dog And having to take the dog out for walks would be a greattt push 2 make me leave the house. cons is #if im having a rly rly rly bad depression day i can see myself not being able to leave tbe houdr st all aside frkm work and.. i couldnt do #hst w a dog. obv i wanna discourage that behavior but ik id..force through it and i wanns be rly careful #+with sork im full time and am hoping to do lots of overtime. modt dogs need t use the bathroom abt once every 8 hours 😭😭 so i feel id #have to do doggy daycare or sometjing basically its a whole situation... #and id also love a cat and itd be way easier especially if i made a schedule for the litter box and STUCK EITH IT i think id do rly well.. #cats r way way lower maintenance so itd be easier t like. yk..