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#so if y'all got further thoughts. pls lemme know
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LT Back in Action: The fight for Artistic Integrity
I feel like we've commonly identified how in Back in Action, Daffy and DJ were so obviously mirrors of each other with their ambition to go beyond their current positions to be valued by their respective peers. But I don't see people make the connection on how Bugs and Kate's dynamic seemed to serve as a representation of Bugs' balancing act of preserving the remnants of his classic personalities against the growing passage of time and everchanging censorship standards.
The movie makes many references to audience demographics, PC culture, how corporate interest stifles creatives, the fumbling upper management -- all very prevalent subjects for the looney tunes characters. But for this film's focus, we see how it affects the film's leads.
Daffy gets his suggestions shot down in the writing room, his input is undermined by the execs, and was ultimately manipulated into starring in a film without express consent or autonomy. His insistence in pursuing the blue monkey was a deliberate refusal to internalise his debilitating loss of identity after he got fired.
DJ's a secret nepo baby who -- aside from not exactly getting as much recognition for his contributions to the films Brendan Fraser starred in -- seems to be living a rather cushy life judging from the interior of his house. The ending seems to suggest that he was involved in blind-siding Daffy because of his ambition to be more than a security guard. So he was just as much a pawn.
Kate is the newbie Head of Comedy, who is absolutely miscasted for the job and is clinging on for dear life to maintain this seemingly important position by doing what her higher ups want her to do. But because her higher ups are incompetent at knowing what works with audiences -- the moment shit hits the fan, they will absolutely use her as a scapegoat.
And Bugs has to navigate studio politics to pull strings for himself, seems to be well-versed in baby-talking the Warner Brothers into submission, and has developed a far removed capacity for emotional vulnerability. This limitation in expression seems like a learned tactic as he adeptly dodges Daffy's invitations for genuine connection throughout the film. Which makes this version of Bugs particularly best identified for his emotional constipation.
What this goes to show is that these characters were able to convey the struggles, frustrations and burnout that comes with creatives in their continuous battle against the hand that feeds them. Which I find makes this movie all the more timeless, and prevalent in our modern day.
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captains-simp · 3 years
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Yelena Belova + Fake dating Au!! pls 🥲 :)
I've been waiting for someone to pick the fake dating one *fist pumps air* I'm gonna combine this with your other request if that's okay
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"I think I'm inlove with you."
Warnings: shitty family and homophobia
7.7k words
A/n: if y'all want me to do this oneshot again but with Wanda (cos I'm a lazy hoe) just lemme know 👀 I think it would work pretty well 👀
[ masterlist ]
Buy me a coffee ☕
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Pleeaasse, Lena." You pouted once again. You had been begging Yelena for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.
"I'm busy." Yelena said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.
"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.
"I thought you said it was a few days." Yelena quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.
"It is." You confirmed with some hope.
"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.
"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.
"Please, Lena." You tried. "I need a win." Yelena stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.
"I'll think about it." Yelena finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard.
It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.
Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.
As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with.
You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.
Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Yelena.
Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.
However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Yelena girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Yelena. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.
"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Yelena wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).
You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Yelena agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Wanda or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Yelena and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Yelena.
"Tomorrow." Yelena answered, keeping her focused tone.
"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance Yelena gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.
"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.
"Be safe." Yelena strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.
"Always."
¤
"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.
"No." Yelena replied as she slotted a spare gun into her leg harness.
"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Yelena would still say no.
"No." Yelena said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."
Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Yelena rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casually so it was never anything fancy or different that needed planning. She had always wanted to though.
"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.
"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Yelena was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.
"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.
"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Yelena clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."
Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.
"Yeah." Yelena sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Yelena had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.
"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Yelena's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."
"You think I should do it?" Yelena asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend's advice in that area.
"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Yelena's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.
¤
You had been overjoyed when Yelena told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment.
It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.
On the drive up to the cabin you and Yelena stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Yelena's acknowledging smiles.
"So what's the plan?" Yelena asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the spy wanted a strategy.
"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Yelena didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."
"Impress me?" Yelena asked.
"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Yelena chuckled as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.
"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.
"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Yelena clearly hadn't though.
"It will be an honour to turn them down." Yelena said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.
When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Yelena a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.
"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Yelena more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Yelena. "You must be Yelena, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought Yelena in for a hug too.
The blonde raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh. The others came over to greet you and mainly Yelena in a rush, overwhelming both of you.
"You too will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.
"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.
You and Yelena made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.
"That was...a lot." Yelena summarised as she said her bag under the bed.
"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.
"It's just a few days." Yelena said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.
"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Yelena's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.
Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.
"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.
"I do." Yelena said as she continued to hold onto your hand.
"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.
"They're good." Yelena said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Yelena pretended not to notice making you smile.
"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Yelena exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.
"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."
Bull. Shit.
"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Yelena an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.
They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Yelena and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the blonde weren't all that bad.
Your family continued to catch up and and you and Yelena half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.
Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Yelena had stopped four potentially devastating bombs going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.
"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.
"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.
"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Yelena with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.
"The team loves it." Yelena said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Yelena wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.
No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.
"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.
"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Yelena cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.
"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.
"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.
It was certainly a first for your family.
When everyone had finished their food you and Yelena excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Yelena shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The blonde shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.
When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.
"You should go get changed." Yelena said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.
You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.
You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Yelena.
You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies. About ten minutes into the movie Yelena spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.
"Yeah." You whispered back.
"Promise?" She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Yelena clearly.
"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.
"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Yelena wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.
You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.
*
Yelena wasn't much of an intimate person. She made the odd exception with you and Natasha, but always seemed to refrain or hold herself back from being too close to you. So when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Yelena's ended, you were surprised to say the least.
You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.
You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Yelena woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.
You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.
"Morning." Yelena croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.
"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.
You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Yelena was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Yelena noticed you.
"Don't make a sound." Yelena warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.
You and Yelena had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.
The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.
You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Yelena joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.
The blonde was the most competitive person you had ever met, you learnt that over a simple game of snakes and ladders years ago.
"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.
"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.
"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Yelena hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.
You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Yelena was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Yelena who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.
The moment you missed the ball a smug grin started on Yelena's face, her arrogance stopped her being aware of you suddenly sending the ball back her way until it was too late.
"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.
"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again. Yelena rolled her eyes and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.
You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.
At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.
"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.
"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Yelena refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.
You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Yelena's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.
"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.
"Maybe we should take it back with us." Yelena whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should. Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis.
You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.
"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.
The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Yelena sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whoever one of them was nearby.
Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too. You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Yelena that the blonde never failed to notice.
The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Yelena picked out a horror movie instantly making you groan into her shoulder as she giggled.
She settled down beside you and within the first few jumpscares she slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further. You were barely paying attention to the film after that.
Despite the chilling scenes of the film, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Yelena's arms.
Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Yelena had ever experienced.
*
You had thought waking up in Yelena's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the blonde was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest. It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.
Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.
Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.
*
When you woke up again Yelena was gone. Her absence left am emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Yelena was going to effect you even more when it was over.
Over...you couldn't think about that.
Once you got up and got changed you found Yelena in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.
"Morning, honey." You grinned. Yelena blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.
"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.
You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Yelena about an upcoming party that she should go to. Yelena mumbled something about a full schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.
Eventually, you and Yelena became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the blonde and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.
You made a point of holding Yelena's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.
"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.
You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted. The blonde brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.
"It's beautiful here." Yelena said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.
"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.
"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.
"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.
"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Yelena's features.
"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.
"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.
"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."
"We?" Yelena asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.
"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The blonde considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.
"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.
"You want to go back?" Yelena asked and you grinned.
"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Yelena did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.
It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Yelena kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.
Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Yelena before starting towards the edge. The blonde frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.
To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.
"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Yelena's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.
She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.
"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side. Yelena's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.
"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.
"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."
"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.
"Are you scared, Lena." You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.
"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.
"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.
Yelena held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the blonde sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.
You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. With a harness! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below.
You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.
"Fuck." Yelena whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.
"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.
"Yeah yeah." She laughed and adulterer when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.
"They're looking." Yelena muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.
"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Yelena's grey eyes to stop you looking at your family.
"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.
"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.
"I know." Yelena laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.
Yelena's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the blonde's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.
"Can I?" Yelena whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.
"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.
You smiled into the kiss and felt Yelena do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together.
You mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Yelena didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.
When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.
"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Yelena chuckle.
"Not too bad yourself." She teased.
"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Yelena nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down.
You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.
Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Yelena.
You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.
You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.
You didn't realise Yelena mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.
Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them. You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.
Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Yelena spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.
You and Yelena went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet.
Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Yelena liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.
"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Yelena purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.
"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.
"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.
Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Yelena stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Yelena's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.
"So Yelena," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.Oh boy, you though.
"I don't think it's my place to say." Yelena said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.
"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.
"I could, but I'm not going to." Yelena continued to defy.
"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing a spy.
"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.
"He's married!" Dalton objected.
"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but  Dalton just scoffed.
"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."
"What does that mean?" Yelena asked with narrowed eyes. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.
"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Yelena stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the blonde's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?
Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"
"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.
"Then you're idiots." Yelena stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.
"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"
"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.
"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.
You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the blonde was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.
She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.
Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Yelena said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?
When you stopped crying you became aware of Yelena gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.
"I think we should go tomorrow." Yelena mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.
"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."
"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.
"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the blonde to look at her clearly.
"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffer and she smiled at you fondly.
"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.
"It was all an act though." You whispered and Yelena chuckled as she exhaled sharply.
"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.
"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.
"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Yelena's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.
You closed the gap between you and kissed Yelena with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her. When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.
"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."
"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.
"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.
"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.
"Yeah." You said back.
"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.
"Your girlfriend would love to."
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meshlasolus · 3 years
Text
None Other Than You (Tadashi Hamada x Reader)
Lol so like I'm genuinely interested in what y'all have to say about this story and would like to know how y'all want it to end... pls lemme know bc i don't know how I want it to go lol
Series Summary: When tragedy strikes, and nothing can be done to stop it from happening, you often feel powerless entirely, however when it comes to picking up the pieces, you're able to have a say in the way things go.
Chapter Warnings: more flirty type crap, SMUT... unprotected crap guys (use ze glove when making da love) idek when I'ma have them get together rn it's just friends... oh amd yeah one use of the word 'shit,'
Part 9/?
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I awoke wrapped in a strong, sweet embrace the morning after, and could feel steady fingers grazing through the strands of my hair. As I came more and more into consciousness, I also heard a consistent thumping beat right beneath my ear. Tadashi's heartbeat had soothed me to sleep last night, and awoke me this morning, and truth be told, I wouldn't want to wake up any other way again after this. That heartbeat steadily pounding in my ear kept all the bad thoughts away.
"Morning, sleeping beauty...." He trailed off while moving his hand down to softly stroke my bare arm. My tank top, -which was actually Tadashi's tank top- allowed easy access to the skin all the way up to my shoulder.
I didn't reply, I only snuggled further into him for the warmth he still possessed. He was warm, and comfy, and there was no way I was leaving his arms until I was good and ready to.
None of the plaguing questions that usually took over my brain activity were near present, and as long as I was caught up in the soft embrace of my best friend, inhaling his scent every few seconds, it would remain that way.
"I take it we're not leaving this bed for a while." He assumed, given that I was now fully awake and yet I made no move to get up and begin the day.
"Nope... we should just stay here all day." I suggested, hearing him chuckle as his chest heaved with the action beneath my head.
"I have to meet up with Hiro at five... and actually you should come too." This made me furrow my brows, what could be so important that we have to leave the comfort of this place for any reason today.
"Why do we have to?" I groaned, but managed to make it sound playful enough that he wouldn't think I was being a brat... which I totally was, to be completely honest.
"Well considering my only robotics project for years on end got lost in the void... I kind of have to rebuild him. Hiro's gonna help, and I may or may not need you to remake me those internal structural projectors, or at least write me up a new project file for them." He rambled.
"What happened to the one I made you?" I looked up at him with tired eyes, not quite understanding why he needed a new project file.
"After Baymax was finished I moved everything over to my hardrive so I could clean off my computer.... I probably just forgot to drag it over, but to be fair, your file isn't the only one missing." He reasoned, knowing that in the end I would give in. I always did. Whatever he needed, I would always supply. This little bastard, he knew he had me wrapped around his finger.
"Yeah, okay... fine, but not until five. What time is it now?"
He leaned his head over to look at the clock that was barely visible from the place on his bed.
"10:26." He responded while laying his head back down. I was still looking up at him, his brown eyes that were so tired in the morning. Up close they were stunning for the amber details in them shown through. He had beautiful eyes. Eyes that looked back at me in just as much awe as I held while gazing upon him.
I smiled a little bit, then dropped my chin to his chest, looking up still, but now through the thick layer of my eyelashes. If I wasn't so distracted at the time, maybe I would have seen how he practically melted into his bed when I did that.
A lighthearted laugh came from him before he shook his head smiling. That damn smile. Gorgeous...
"You're cute...." he said quietly, waiting for my cheeks to flush with the color red before he continued what he intended to say. "How about we go get food-"
"Nooo! I don't wanna leave the bed..." I whined, sounding more like a brat now that other things were suggested.
"You didn't let me finish. Let's go get food then come back to bed, we can watch movies on my laptop until it's time to leave." So maybe I was a bit hungry and maybe this sounded like a phenomenal idea.
"...okay." I simply agreed in one word. I was never not hungry, and Tadashi truly knew the way to my heart was with the little waffles Cass always made for downstairs in the café. "But you have to go get the food. I'll stay here and pick the movie."
"Alright then, you got yourself a deal." He said, awkwardly bringing his hand up to shake mine, but I laughed and shook it anyway.
"Go on then, peasant, bring the queen her waffles." I rolled off of him then pointed to the shade divider, which was still drawn from the previous evening.
"As you wish." He bowed before leaving.
I took the liberty of getting up and going to the bathroom, knowing I wouldn't want to wait to pee if we'd started watching movies. I also took a small bit of time to make myself more presentable. I wasn't sure what this crazy roller coaster of emotions I was being pulled along on, but it wouldn't hurt to look good incase he decided he was interested.
I went and jumped back into bed, pulling the sheets up over my head and trying to make it seem like I never left. I did put up quite a fit about it, so best he not know.
Tadashi took a while to come back with the food, which was strange. Maybe the the café was a bit busier this morning and aunt Cass was struggling to get all the orders fast enough. In that case, maybe I should go down to help. Just as I was about to leave the bed, the door opened. Tadashi came in holding a bag of food with a logo that didn't belong to the Lucky Cat. He read the confused expression on my face right away, and chuckled.
"Aunt Cass forgot to stock up on the ingredients for the waffles this week, these are from that place down the street" he said, setting down the bag and sitting next to me on the bed.
"You didn't have to go get me some... I would've been okay with something else." I felt bad for his trouble, but also flattered that he took the time to get me exactly what I wanted.
"Milady needed her waffles." He said with a smile while digging out the contents of the bag. I watched him with a smile on my face before he caught me staring. He didn't say anything, just held a smirk on his face as he continued to pull the contents from the bag.
"That's a lot of good food... get anything for yourself?" I joked, resulting in a nudge from his shoulder that knocked me back into his sheets in a fit of laughter.
"You know what, I was gone for like half an hour and you still never picked a movie like you said you would." He chastised, reaching over for his laptop and handing it over so that I could pick something to watch.
"What's your new password?" I asked, turning the screen to face him so he could type it in. He clicked the show password button and turned it back to face me but I was confused when I saw a bunch of random letters. "What's that supposed to be?"
He shrugged and handed me an open to-go box with my waffles. "It's yours and Hiro's names scrambled together."
I looked at the combination with a puzzled expression for a second longer before I figured it out. Mine and Hiro's names, except it alternated every other letter. It completely slipped my mind of what that probably meant. He must really think of me as a close person in his life.
I put on a movie called 'Some Like it Hot' for while we ate breakfast. It was an oldie hut a goodie, with one of my favorite vintage actresses of all time. Not to mention how funny and comical it was for a movie in it's time.
"Mm, haven't seen this one in a while." Tadashi said, his face stuffed with waffles as he spoke.
"Yeah, I missed it."
We finished eating around halfway through the movie, so we opted to instead snuggle back down under the covers for the remaining time.
There came a specific scene, where Marilyn Monroe's character came into the room too quickly, so her love interest who was also pretending to be a woman had to sit into a bathtub to avoid suspicion. When the other male actor came onto the screen, still in his clothes to appear as the other woman Daphne, the man stood out of the bathtub fully clothed with only a woman's hair and face. The scene was so simple and old fashioned, but made me laugh every time I watched it nonetheless.
My giggles echoed even into the next scene, and I had to try and quiet myself down for fear of disruption of the other viewer. Of course, little spurts here and there of my laughter would come out anyways. Once I got going it was hard to stop myself.
"You're cute when you so that." I heard a sweet voice in my ear, before I felt a kiss on top of my head.
We watched for several more minutes, and almost reached the climax of the movie, but then the screen stopped, and the spinning circle of death had come upon it.
"Aw man, right at the good part." I said, trying to refresh the page. The only thing that happened when I did that was stop the browser from working too. Soon the little dinosaur game popped up. I was tempted to just play for the heck of it, but then closed the laptop in defeat. "You might as well text Hiro and tell him we can come now... no point in spending the rest of our time trying to fix the wifi."
"Nah, I seem to remember agreeing to staying in bed till we had to leave." He brought up my words from when we first woke up this morning, and I smiled as I snuggled my blushing face into his chest.
"Well if you insist."
He pulled me so close, his arms wrapped so tightly around me I was afraid one wrong move could dislocate his shoulder. He was so gentle, so soft. He felt like a warm summer night that put butterflies in my stomach. He felt like the blanket I got for my fourth birthday that I still slept with sometimes to keep away nightmares. He felt like a memory that was so sweet I would never forget of it. He felt like the only home I'd ever known. My parents were better to me when I was a child, but when i reached the age of ten, everything was practically torture, and nothing I did could stop it. Even the first few months at SFIT, a place where I finally felt like I belonged, weren't wonderfully joyful as they should have been. The bullies that made me miserable until I would leave each day made for the worst afterschool scenarios.
It wasn't until Tadashi came along that I ever felt like things were going to be okay. He made me feel secure, and safe. He brought the greatest joy into my life, and made me feel like I could do anything. He made me a better person, one that wasn't tucked into a shell of a human being that just wanted to die. After the day I met him, I was always relieved, because as long as he stayed in my life, I knew that nothing could ever be that bad. I loved him with all my entire being, and even if he never felt the same, I would adore him till the day I die.
"C-can I try something with you?" He asked nervously. I had no idea what he was thinking, but whatever he wanted to do, he could.
"Of course." I spoke with such utter confidence. Confidence not in myself but in him.
"You don't know what it is yet..." he trailed off. He seemed a little tense, but why should he be? He knows I trust him.
"Doesn't matter. Whatever it is you want to do, do it." I spoke in a firm, nearly commanding tone, but still the choice was obviously his.
"Are you sure?" He pulled away from our sweet embrace, making me look him in the eye as we sat up.
"Positive"
He still was wearly on the confirmation I'd given, but he went on ahead to try whatever it was he wanted to do.
He pushed me back into the pillows by his headboard, pinning me down by interlacing our hands together, then pushing them down unto the mattress. He settled himself between my legs and leaned down to whisper in my ear.
"Tell me when to stop..." he then burrowed down into my neck as he pressed kisses there. They were hungry and quick, but still so gentle in a way that seemed only Tadashi was capable of.
"Dashi.." I breathed out, wanting to run my fingers through his hair, but not being able to because they were still pinned down om either side of my head.
He must have read my mind, for his hands left mine, running down my forearms before he used one arm to prop himself up and the other slithered under my waist.
My hands shot straight to the back of his head, threading my fingers through as he continued his ministrations on my skin. I got a small bit needy after a few moments, pulling him back and attaching my lips to his. He smirked against my mouth, and it didn't go unnoticed by me, but it was my turn to smirk when only a second later he licked my bottom lip, waiting for me to grant him access. I teased him a little bit, waiting until I'd decided he had enough. He knew what I was doing. He knew me.
He ground his hips into their place between my legs, getting me to emit a moan while opening my mouth. The sneaky little shit took advantage of that and granted himself access on his own.
The hand that sat beneath my waist had been toying with the hem of my shirt, and I knew he was practically begging me for permission, though he didn't want to actually ask me out loud. I broke apart for only a split second to answer him.
"Take it off." And then my mouth was back on his... at least until he broke apart to stare at me deep in the eye.
"You sure?" He put our passionate make out session on hold, making sure I was comfortable with all this.
I nodded a small nod, but my response time was quick, and he knew that I meant it.
He pulled the shirt off of me and tossed it to the floor, and after if was discarded, he looked more flustered than I did. I wasn't ever insecure about my body, for I knew that all bodies were beautiful no matter the shape or size, but with the way Tadashi looked down at me with a completely red face and a dropped jaw, I couldn't help but chuckle a little.
"Like what you see?" I joked, knowing that even in a moment of intimacy like this, I could still be myself and not have to change the mood for it to be nice.
"You have no idea." He dipped down and began trailing kisses along my chest. The way his mouth moved on my skin was heaven, and even though I had dreamt this very moment dozens of times, nothing felt like the real thing.
His kisses were airy, and light as a feather, but the impact they still made on me was insane. His hands roamed the now exposed parts of my body with the upmost respect and sensitivity to my comfort, though if he wanted I'd let him touch me anywhere. He could do anything he wanted to me right now. He had so much power in this moment and he had no idea. Maybe I shouldn't let him find out. I pushed him back just slightly, looking at how disheveled his hair looked, and how dark his eyes had turned. I yanked on the bottom of his shirt, getting his attention towards it.
"Take this off." I told him, not a shadow of doubt within my voice. I had no idea where this confident, commanding tone came from, but it was working.
Dashi lifted the shirt up over his head and let it fall to the floor in no time at all. He didn't have to be told twice.
I could only barely see his scars coming up over his shoulder on either side, and let my fingers dance over them softly when he came to lay back over me. His head dropped down by my ear again and the words that followed made me shiver in the best way possible.
"Tell me whatever you want, you'll always have it."
I grabbed his face and kissed him again, trying my best to roll my hips upwards into his.
All of this was very sloppy, and inexperienced, but neither of us had really known any better. We didn't care enough to pay attention to it either. We struggled only slightly to get the test of our clothes off and onto the floor to join the rest. It was a bit awkward, and a little strange for the position we were in, but it wasn't totally a mess. The worst part of all this was when he came back over me, both of us stripped down to nothing, buck ass nude, just waiting for the anticipated moment. Although I wasn't exactly sure what size was impressive, I did ay least know that even putting in bigger tampons hurt me. I couldn't help but let a face of fear flash over me, catching the boy's attention right away.
"Tell me to stop..." he reminded me of his earlier words, but I refused to quit now. As far as I was concerned, he was the love of my life, and I was so close to having in in a way no one had ever had him before. He was about to do the same with me, and the only thing holding either of us back was my consent to keep going.
I pulled him down and pressed a kiss to his lips before getting close to his ear.
"Just..... please be gentle with me." I knew my words were practically null and void, because literally everything he'd ever done with me was gentle, and perfect.
"I'll be slow, I promise." He said quietly, pressing his face to my neck and sucking a piece of skin to hopefully dull the pain.
As I felt him slide in, my senses suddenly were all only focused on one fact. The fact that I was being stretched open further than ever before, and it hurt. It hurt a lot.
My face scrunched up to show my discomfort, but I didn't dare say anything that would cause this to be over. It hurt, but I needed him more than anything right now.
"You okay?" He mumbled. He was barely able to get out words now, and I imagined as much pain ad I was in, it must have felt amazing for him. That's what I need to focus on. He's feeling good right now, and I'm the cause. With only that thought in my head, I was able to feel a sting of pleasure shoot through me. I hummed in response to his question before I decided I was ready to continue.
"Move." I said, trying my best to keep my breathing even, or at least enough to just get out that single word.
"I don't wanna hurt y-"
"I know... you can move, I'm okay."
He breathed in deeply before withdrawing himself from me and then slowly going back in. I swore my stomach began to clench as he continued to move. In and out, going slowly, never rushing anything. Nothing compared to the feeling I started to feel. Nothing compared to the sound he made in my ear when he started to go deeper. The grunt he let out when I had moaned his name softly was music to my ears.
His pace had increased, but he took his time to get from one speed to the other. He was still so gentle and slow, and for how good I already felt, it was fine just the way it was. He was so good at this, just like everything else he did. Everything came so naturally to him.
I started to feel a coil within my stomach, and as he increased his speed, the same coil was just begging to be released. My hips started twitching around, and I couldn't control myself any longer. Although the pleasure I felt was now immeasurable, my body was begging for release. I let it all go with a cry of his nickname, and then I felt myself clench around him. He didn't even last a second longer. He collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily, practically panting. We'd both worked up a thin layer of sweat on our bodies, which caused our skin to stick to one another's. Tadashi rolled his hips once or twice to help us both ride out any feeling that was still left in the wake of what we just did. His hands searched for mine, and they found them separately. One laced in his hair, and the other one tightly gripping the sheets for dear life. He laced out hands together, and held himself up the same way he had when this all started. He leaned down and pressed more soft kisses to my lips, but these were different. Although just as gentle as his earlier ones, these kisses were slow, and meaningful. They simply felt different.
"Just wanted to 'try something with me', huh?" My voice sounded so different from earlier, but it wasn't too strange, just different than normal.
"Yeah... I did." He admitted, straying from my joking vibe and turning into a more serious one. "I've never felt anything so good in my life."
"Feel free to try more things with me, I don't mind." I kissed him once more, thinking about how we still had hours to lay here together in this bed until we had to go meet up with Hiro.
A/n: just another reminder to drop into my asks or even the comment section lol tell me how this story should end bc i still don't know how it should
Tags:
@ladylizzieofdarbyshire @toomanydamfandoms @baba-yagas-sapphic-lover
758 notes · View notes
hiiraya · 3 years
Text
didn’t know what i had (rewrite)
masterlist
pairing: natasha romanoff  x reader
words: ~3,216
warnings: angst, break-up (pls lemme know if there's anything else i should add!)
requested: nope :p
a/n: this is my one and only nat series (because i suck at writing series, and continuity - bad memory gang represent - in general) but pls lemme know what y'all think!  (also i think i got a little carried away bc this used to be 2k+ words and now it's 3k+ words)
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
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“Marry me?”
Despite your voice shaking from the nervousness running through your veins, you stayed hopeful, looking up at Natasha from where you were kneeling on the ground, almost dropping the velvet box in your hand from how anxious you felt.
“…what?”
"Uh-, w-will you marry me?”
You can already feel the dread starting to settle in your stomach when she takes your hands and pulls you to your feet.
She doesn't meet your eyes when she lets go of your hands, looking at everywhere else but you.
“Y/N… I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you.”
-
It felt like the universe was mocking you ever since Natasha said no to your proposal 4 months ago.
Neither of you had told anyone on the team that you had tried to ask her to marry her and you preferred it to stay that way.
Tony and Pepper went and got married (which of course, you were elated about, you'd been rooting for them from the very beginning), and then what seemed like only a few months after that Wanda and Vision decided to tie the knot too.
Being their close friends, of course, you and Natasha were invited to both of the ceremonies.
You were happy for your friends (how could you not be?), but you couldn’t help but feel like you were missing out.
Sure, you two were still together, but compared to before where you would always be attached at the hip, it was like the two of you suddenly became polar opposites. Whenever the newlywed couples were in either of your vicinities, you found yourself actively trying to avoid your girlfriend and vice versa.  
No one but the two of you knew the reason why.
-
"I just want to know why, Nat."
You hadn't meant to bring up the topic of marriage again, but Tony decided to call you and Nat out on why you hadn’t gotten married yet.
To put it in his words, “you guys have been together for what, almost six years now? You're already practically married at this point!”
And even though you respected her decision to say no, there was always a tiny part of you that wanted to know the reason as to why she said no in the first place.
"I'm just not ready and you know this, Y/N," she sighs, shaking her head.
It was always like this now; constant sighing, the cold shoulders, the both of you getting irritated with the other that lead to yelling and arguing about the tiniest things.
"Marriage isn't in the cards for me; a family isn't in the cards for me. I’m sorry if it is for you, but I can’t give you that.”
You should’ve know better than to expect more of an explanation from her. In fact, you were surprised that she even said that much considering she found every excuse to leave the room when any of your friends even so much as hinted at the topic of marriage.
Your shoulders sag at her answer, but you nod anyways.
“You’re right, that's my bad," you mutter, "I'm sorry for bringing it up again.”
You're too lost in your head as you leave the room to see the wary glance Natasha sends your way.
-
“It's like we're walking on eggshells, Wanda. We’re acting like we don’t even know each other anymore.”
Natasha didn’t mean to eavesdrop in on your conversation with Wanda. Clearly you thought it was only you and Wanda in the living room, especially because everyone else had announced that they were doing their own things for the day.
“Asking her to marry me was a stupid idea," she hears you sigh, "I should’ve just kept my stupid mouth shut.”
A sigh is heard all the way from where she was hiding in the kitchen, knowing that the younger girl was most likely frowning at your words.
Wanda could feel the regret and uncertainty emanating from you as you sat next to her, your thoughts practically screaming at her for her to take a peak inside your mind.
(Wanda didn’t mention to you that she could hear someone else’s thoughts just a room away.)
You���d never spoken to Natasha about how you felt (granted, she didn’t talk to you about how she felt either), and she couldn’t help but agree with your words from earlier.
You two were walking on eggshells; you rarely spoke to one another ever since she said no to your proposal, the air becoming tense and awkward whenever the two of you were in the same room.
As much as you tried to show just how much it didn't affect you, she could see it in the way your mannerisms changed, the jokes you used to share with her slowly coming to an end, like you were back to being strangers all of a sudden.
“Please don't say that, Y/N/N. You’re not stupid, asking her wasn't stupid, you didn't know that she was going to say no.”
Judging from the lack of response from you, Nat took that as the end of your conversation.
Taking a peak from her spot, she saw you sitting beside Wanda, looking visibly troubled.
Deciding not to violate your privacy any longer than she already had, she starts to walk back to her room. It’s the defeated tone in your voice when you speak up that stops her in her tracks.
“Why doesn’t she want to be my wife?”
-
Arguing seemed to be the norm nowadays whenever you two were alone together.
“So, you’re talking to Wanda about our problems now?”
She came back to the living room after hearing Wanda leave, promising that she would be back later with food, leaving you sitting alone on the couch with your thoughts.
“What are you talking about, Nat?”
She watches you sag further into the cushions while she walks over to you, standing over you with her arms crossed over her chest.
“‘It's like we're walking on eggshells, Wanda. We’re acting like we don’t even know each other anymore.’”
She parrots your words from before and watches the realisation fall on your face when you realise that she heard your conversation with Wanda.
“What do you want me to say, Nat?" You frown. "We are walking on eggshells, and whenever we’re alone we just end up arguing. We keep going in circles, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“Then don’t do anything," She bites back, "clearly we’re going nowhere.”
It’s not the right words to say and she knows it, but she was just as tired of the fighting as you were.
“What do you mean 'we're going nowhere'?”
Was she really willing to throw away the a six-year relationship she shared with you?
"I'm done talking with you."
She's deflecting and you both know it, but before she can say anything else you scoff, something she's noticed you doing more often whenever she was around.
“Well you don't have to worry about that," You retort. "You don’t ever have to talk to me anymore about anything, Natalia.”
She can't explain the way her heart drops to her stomach, the feeling like she's just lost something inherently important to her as she watches you walk away from her.
-
As cliché as it sounded, you wanted to run away from everything. Well, more specifically someone.
So you did just that.
“Are you sure that you want to join me on this, Y/N?" Maria asks you for the nth time in the past 10 minutes. "I don’t even know when we’ll be back.”
You liked the think that it was the universe trying to make it up to you for all the shit it's put you through in the last months when caught Maria leaving Fury’s office, asking her if there were any missions that you could tag along to.
Luckily for you, she was leaving for a recon mission and you jumped at the chance to leave with her.
Maria hadn’t heard about what happened between you and Natasha, everyone but Wanda had still yet to find out, and frankly you’d wanted to delay telling her for as long as you could.
The less questions asked the better.
You’d leave it to Natasha to explain your sudden absence to your friends. Or not. You really couldn't care less at this point.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Agent Hill.”
Maria looked like she wanted to say more but decided against it. After all, you two had been friends for years, and working with you as closely she did, she could easily read you like an open book.
Which meant she knew when to call you out and when to drop the conversation.
“Pack a bag then," She nods. We leave tonight.”
-
“They’re back.”
Clint looks across the room to where you were standing with Wanda and Maria, watching you smile as you caught up with the younger girl.
You and Maria had just arrived back from your recon mission which had taken longer than expected, with what was supposed to be a six month mission became twice as long (not that you were complaining, it gave you more time to heal and recover from your heartbreak) because of an issue with the intel.
“I heard that they got back this morning.” He tells Natasha, pausing to look at her. “How’re you feeling?”
Giving him half-hearted shrug she looks at him, subconsciously moving away from your view. If Clint catches on to what she was doing, he doesn’t call her out on it, instead moving to stand in front of her to block her view of you.
“The last thing I said to Y/N was that I was done talking with them. I didn't expect them to stay, but I didn't expect them to leave without a word.”
The older of the two sighs as he glances back at you briefly.
"Sometimes you tell someone that you're done, that you never want to talk to them ever again, but then the phone rings and there's a part of you that hopes that it's them. It's the most twisted logic of all time."
Clint doesn’t miss the way Natasha keeps looking over his shoulder, right where he knew you were standing, almost as if she was holding herself back from walking over to where you were.
There were so many things she wanted to tell you, but a year of distance and silence was too long, and she didn’t want to risk getting shut down the moment she had a moment alone with you. She didn't want to have to watch you walk away again.
“You should talk to Y/N.”
Clint gives her a reassuring smile, squeezing her shoulder before excusing himself to head down to the training room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
-
“I don’t understand why you and Clint want me to talk to Y/N so badly, Wanda.”
The witch throws her head back in slight frustration before meeting the redhead’s eyes once again.
“You’ve been ignoring Y/N ever since they got back, and don’t even try to lie to me about it." Wanda frowned at her friend. "From what you’ve told me in the past, Nat, you want to talk to Y/N. You know you do.”
After finding the normally stoic woman crying in the training room months after your departure, Wanda was the first person Natasha opened up to about her feelings, just like you had.
Since Wanda was close to you as well, she'd heard the story from both sides and acted as the mediator between you two.
Seeing as the older girl was still apprehensive, Wanda took it upon herself to speak up again.
The younger girl speaks to her in a motherly tone, looking at her friend with sympathetic smile. ”Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds, Nat. 20 seconds of insane courage to tell Y/N/N what’s been on your mind for the past year."
"Wanda, they probably don't want to talk to me."
Shaking her head, Wanda puts her hands comfortingly on Nat’s shoulders.
"Not talking to each other is what caused this in the first place. You don't know that they don't want to talk to you." She reasons. "And you also don’t want to regret not saying anything at all either, we don’t know the next time they’ll be back.”
Giving her friend’s shoulders a gentle squeeze, she waits until their eyes meet once more to speak again.
"Just-, think about it, okay? I heard that they’re getting ready to leave again soon.”
-
“I’ll leave you two to talk.”
The air is tense after Maria exits the room, telling you that she’ll be back to get you when it’s time to leave and Natasha watches your gaze turn to the ground for a moment before clearing your throat.
“So, if there's nothing here to talk about, I still need to pa-"
“Wait, Y/N.” She interrupts before you could finish, knowing that once you found a reason to leave, there was no way she would get another moment alone with you.
You sigh as you look at her, and Natasha can see just how uneasy you are being in the same room as her after such a long time. After all, last time didn't end too well.
It wasn’t like you were trying to avoid her (though the same couldn’t be said about her actively trying to avoid you like the plague ever since she saw that you and Maria were back), but she knew why you didn’t go out of your way to come talk to her.
"The first time you proposed-"
“Nat, do-"
"Just let me say this," She pleads. "Please."
She’s had a lot of time to think in the past year, had a lot of time figure out what she wanted and what she really needed. No matter where she started or what she thought about, everything always led back to you.
You tried so hard to hold onto the threads that was holding your relationship together while she was all but ready to throw in the towel the moment it got too much.
Natasha's never regretted anything so much in her life before.  
"The first time you proposed," She starts again. "I said no because I thought I wasn't ready and that I didn’t want to get married. And I spent a really long time regretting saying no to you."
Judging by the look on your face while she was talking, she could tell that you would rather not relive the memories of her rejecting your proposal.
“But then everyone around us was getting married; Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Vision. I could see how much you wanted what they had, even though you always told them that you were happy with the way we were.
"They all seemed to happy, it made me think that maybe getting married wasn’t the worst thing in the world, even if I kept saying that I wasn't ready, that it wasn't in the cards for me. And even though I was being so adamant about my choice, I kept hoping, kept wondering if you would ever ask me to marry you again.”
She gages your reaction to her words, seeing that familiar furrow in your brow that she always used to kiss away whenever you were feeling frustrated or confused.
"But it never came."
She knew that it wasn't fair put all the blame on you, she was just as equally guilty - she knew she pulled back and distanced herself from you after you proposed to her. It was never in her intention to cause a strain between the two of you but that’s exactly what ended up happening.
"I wasn't going to push you into something you didn’t want, Nat.”
You’d been quiet ever since Nat started her spiel, so hearing your voice break the silence startled her. You spoke to her in a soft tone - you were never one to raise your voice, only this time you sounded too tired and defeated, like you’d been hurt for so long that nothing really affected you anymore.
“Y/N-“  
“I should’ve known that you didn’t want to get married. It was stupid of me to just assume that you would say yes. I guess I just didn’t enough pay attention to realise that marriage wasn't in the cards for you, and I should have. So, I didn’t ask you again after that.”
It wasn’t stupid, Y/N. You’re not stupid for wanting things too.
She could only stare at you, letting you say your piece and unknowingly giving you the power to make or break her with what you had to say next.
“I asked you and you said no, all of a sudden our friends were getting married too. I wanted that, but I would never force you to marry me just because I wanted it. Whatever you were willing to give, I would've gladly accepted. But then one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew we weren’t talking to each other anymore. Whenever we did, we were always arguing. It got to the point where we were just going in circles.”
You were still talking in that soft tone, the timbre of your voice would have been calming to Natasha had it not been for the words coming out of your mouth. It seemed to her that the more you talked, the more exhausted you looked, like discussing this with her was draining you of your energy.
"You told me you were done talking to me. The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to make you happy, Nat, and if me leaving made you breathe a little easier and relax a little more, then I made the right choice. I didn’t want to make things any harder for you, for us, or for anyone.”
It’s breaking her heart all over again to hear you say those words, as if you thought that you didn’t mean everything to her. You’ve always been too good for her, and she was lucky enough that you shared six years of your life with her.
She could’ve spent more if she just didn’t fuck everything up.
Tears stung her eyes at the thought of not having you in her life, in her future, unwilling to even entertain the thought of seeing you with someone else.
“I was so focused on myself that I didn’t even think about what you were feeling, how this affected you. You were hurting too, yet you were trying to make things work, and I didn’t even bother to talk to you. I told you that I was done, Y/N, but the last thing I wanted was for you to leave.”
She paused as you ran your fingers through your hair before rubbing your eyes, taking the chance to gather her thoughts.
“I let the best thing that ever happened to me go.”
She didn’t even know if you still felt the same like she did for you, but if what Wanda had told her meant anything, she knew she had to try.
“What are you trying to say, Nat?”
“Please give me another chance.”
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