#so he really doesnt have it in him to be angry and he just needs to hold close to the constancy and try to reconcile his new information | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratbby333 · 2 days

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oh em GEEEE IMAGINE GAMER BF SUKUNA WANTING TO PLAY MINECRAFT W YOU BUT HES STUBBORN SO HE DOESNT ADMIT IT BUT YOU CATCH HIM PLAYING BY HIMSELF ON HIS OWN PC AND YOU TEASE HIM SAYING HE COULDVE JUST ASKED 💔💔💔💔💔

gamer!bf sukuna fluff—sfw !! cw: language. smau + blurb

with a quick kiss on your forehead, sukuna informs you he’s running competitive games on COD for a cash prize and emphasizes that he needs you to leave him alone so he can focus. god, he can be such a diva.

you’ve been curled up on the couch for an hour or so, aimlessly scrolling through your phone. sukuna is holed up in the office, most likely talking shit and being a menace online.

a brief yell echoes through your apartment, followed by a quick slam of his fists against his desk.

“im done with this shit,” he exclaims, most likely quitting the game he was in. it seems he didn’t win his competition.

you giggle to yourself, shaking your head. you find it amusing how angry he gets during his games. but, you do feel a bit bad that he lost, so you decide to invite him to a voice call on discord.

as you navigate to your private chat with him, you watch as his status changes from “playing COD” to…wait. that can’t be right…minecraft? no way. that’s impossible.

you give it 30 minutes to see if it was just an accidental click. when you check back, his status remains the same.

you smirk as you open up your messages, eager to see if he’ll confess.

you giggle to yourself as you stand from the couch, taking quick steps down the hall.

as you push open the office door, a cheeky grin can’t help but pull at your cheeks as you approach him.

you join him at the desk, taking a seat in front of your monitor. “you’re so stubborn, ya know that?”

“i told you not to speak of this ever again,” he muttered, aimlessly walking around minecraft as he waits for your computer to boot up.

“lemme just hear you say it,” you tease.

“say what?” he asks, turning to face you, a look of annoyance on his face at your adamance to continue this conversation.

“you like minecraft,” you replied simply, raising your eyebrows. “just admit it and i’ll never say another word.”

he stared at your for a minute, his jaw clenching and unclenching. with a heavy sigh, he turns back to his monitor, grumbling an almost inaudible, “i like minecraft,” with a roll of his eyes.

but it’s a lie. a dirty little secret. he doesn’t just like it, he loves it. he especially loves how happy you get when the two of you play together, as much as he tries to deny it.

the two of you spend the next three hours running around minecraft. sukuna is clearly enjoying himself, though you can tell he’s attempting to hide it with an abrupt clear of his throat or a quick cough to cover up his laughter.

a warm feeling spins around your stomach, giggling as you watch him fight back a persistent smile the entire time.

an: thank you for your request my sweet anon. this was adorable.

i really want to start doing smau’s ugh they’re just so cute and fun to make. i have a full-length fic coming up that incorporates them into the story!! this is my way of experimenting w that format…please let me know what you think! in a way, i feel like it makes the story more real.

thank you for all your support 🥺🫶🏼 i wanna give every single one of yall a big ole smooch on the forehead

my asks are always open. don’t be shy, drop a suggestion, send feedback, leave a request, or just come say hello! i love talking to yall 💛

likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated !!

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lavender-bundle-blithe · 2 days

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yknow what. Human Abilities AU where people's abilities are just... their own person. similar to a modern au but the abilities are also there but as actual people ^^ starting with sskk and skk! (am i making it into yin-yang w|w and double black m|m? maybe. i dont know myself. i think.)

byakko would be the strict but motherly protective tiger that i headcanon her to be. very protective of atsushi since he still goes through hell in an orphanage, and really, she has no filter but is nice enough to place one on for... five minutes. voice claim... ethereal but monotone. my girl's blunt. ex: tigress from kung fu panda rashomon would likely act similar to aku in a sense, but... more teasing. she likes to rile byakko up, but those happen on, like, a good day. which is one out of... two-three weeks. but similar to byakko, she's protective of the siblings very much, and can and will spoil those two with sweets since the whole slums situation. now her voice claim would likely have an elegant voice compared to byakko, yet both have the same bite. ex: yae miko from genshin impact but toned down. --- how these two interact... hm. probably how atsushi and aku were from day one in canon, they hated each other. but it could go two ways: where they catch fists or egged on by rashomon's teasing... "or is she threatening?" <- byakko. but after some time, from hating each others guts when on site and also not, it more or less evolves to them... liking each other's company. byakko helps rashomon regarding seeing things in other perspectives, however blunt they are. and rashomon helps byakko with the social cues. neither of them are the talkers, but when its just them two, no words would be spoken and yet they just understand what they need.

now for no longer human, whom i shall call "null". null is... silent. the silent eerie character that rarely talks but is just... there. not much cues in his blank and expressionless face, and his posture is solemn and tight. he acts much similar to 15!dazai but more melancholic. he took the brunt of whatever happened in his and dazai's childhood, he's a lot more mature than that. his voice claim would be a deep voice, could be heard as monotone or angry to strangers, but with those who's familiar with him, it's just... calming. ex: the horse from the boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse. for the tainted sorrow, or more or less arahabaki... he's basically a chuuya but more destructive, and he doesn't want to slow down. but when it comes to null, its either that he has to be in pace with the other or he can and will drag them. they don't care. but of course, others wonder why he cares so much for null if its said that he doesnt care at all. now some might say that no one could manage to understand him, others would say that he might speak riddles. a sort of ethereal tone, and it's oddly pitched. possible ex: sphinx from dragons dogma 2. --- this one's different, how they interact. basically: arahabaki would try and egg null on, get them riled up, but for the sake of proving the man wrong in his own point. it's unfortunately that both null and dazai have that sense of not being human. and while chuuya has his own way in showing dazai he has a life worth living, arahabaki's situation is a more difficult one. because null's more observant and quiet, the man likely has several scenarios going through his head on what's to happen, and has definitely figured out what arahabaki's planning on doing and avoided it with some certain word of phrase. so, arahabaki turns those words against null. two can play that game. but while arahabaki helps null with that, null helps with arahabaki's destructive and explosive tendencies, managing to defuse a situation in mere seconds and get them out of trouble. they're looking out for each other, and they have their backs.

#lavender talks #bungou stray dogs #bsd #Human Abilities AU #bsd byakko #bsd atsushi #bsd rashomon #bsd akutagawa #bsd no longer human #bsd dazai #bsd arahabaki #bsd chuuya #bsd sskk #bsd skk

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wormy-worm · 27 days

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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

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orcelito · 3 months

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Opening the local bubble tea store absolutely livid and shaking in rage and upset bc my bitch ass boss is too concerned about us sitting on the job to order the tea bags I requested Two Fucking Weeks Ago (it only takes like 4 or 5 days to ship) and so we're out and I had to hand wash the 1 reusable bag to make black tea and I have to strain the free floating tea leaves from the cold brew and I just KNOWWWW he's going to have something more to bitch about because he always does

Last straw on the camel's back, etc etc, I want to put in my two weeks notice by the end of this week. That's a goal for myself.

#speculation nation #i currently dont have a job lined up but im going to start applying Today #because i cant take this anymore. i cant fucking take this anymore.#i feel like im about to shatter from the strain of hos chokehold #8 years total under his thumb and for What? he doesnt appreciate me. he doesnt value me.#he's an asshole this place sucks and it makes me so sad because i really do care about the people here #but i cant. i cant fucking do it anymore.#im really glad im alone on shift rn bc ha ha ha. ill put up the mask for customers but i am #genuinely shaking rn. im so upset.#this being after he complained Again about people sitting on the job during the meeting last night like #shut UPPPP I DONT CAAAARE #YOU TRY WORKING WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND FATIGUE AND A JOB THAT DOESNT GIVE GENUINE BREAKS #'oh if you need to take a break then do it but just dont sit down on the job“#WHEN DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE MY BREAK? IM WORKING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+#and when im.not working alone im working with trainees so i still cant leave the store unattended #im sick of him.im so sick of him and im THIIIIIIIIIS close to just breaking down here and now #i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM #negative/#sorry for the vent i just feel like.im about to blow up and everyone's busy so ic cant. vent properly #im not even done opening bc im too busy freaking out and pacing and being angry #and hes gonna watch me sitting here thru the cameras and be like Ho Hum Look at you immediately doing what i said not to #like fucking STOP!!!! WATCHING US!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#IM SO SICK OF HIM WATCHING US THROUGH THE CAMERAS. HE HAS NO TRUST IN ME DOING MY JOB #0 value for me as a person or employee 0 value for my to this day dedication to this company #i want to send my heel through those front windows. watch them shatter. wreck the whole place #because fuck this place and fuck him #i wontttt bc i dont wanna go to jail lol but the temptation is there. i fucking hate his guts.#im going to put in my 2 weeks by the end of this week. im going to start applying to places Today. just fucking watch me.

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mcybree · 4 months

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Random limlife Scott rant, GO!

I got this ask and decided that I’d give it my best shot but got so mad on my skim through some of the moments I remembered that I gave up.

#Okay im half joking #I got angry enough for me to decide that writing a post without careful consideration would probably lead to an inaccurate little ramble #I need to like. actually sit down and watch limlife and do a full overall analysis #because the context for how scott acts each season is so important. a skim just wont do #The reason I dont have notes on him to share with the class already is because when it was coming out I was pretending that—#Scott grew as a person after 3l and I wanted to believe that so badly I started making stuff up about memory erasure and limlife being—#dubiously real so that I could look the other way when scott started being weird about jimmy again #I was like yeah they barely remember it thats why scotts being uncomfortably weird about jimmy this season #not because scott doesnt think about jimmy like a person and just wants to hear him say words that make him feel better about his—#rough relationship history #not because the idea of jimmy gaining independence from him makes him feel insecure or anything #sighs. sorry im just saying things. again its been a while since ive watched it so I need to actually. Yknow. Watch it before making posts #Its just crazy how he treats it like proving a point more than actually caring #“I mightve given you the 30 minutes last week if youd said love you” he wouldnt have. he was already leaving when he said it #he’s literally just trying to get him to feel bad about not saying it #pretty sure he kills jimmy in the same episode he lets jimmy kill him. Like. He doesnt really care like that #He just likes to pretend that he does. He is going through the motions of caring #Its like he needs to believe jimmy still needs him. in like a possessive way. Its really weird man #I will say though since I see this a lot: I dont think him singling out tango in the 30 seconds scene was intentional #because if im being honest. I dont think he sees the ranchers as anything serious #He assumes tango was just putting up with jimmy bc he had to. He doesnt think tango actually cares about jimmy #in his mind no one actually cares about jimmy. because if scott struggled to care about jimmy and Scott is known for being an amazing ally #that must mean everyone else struggles to care about jimmy. If that makes sense #rant over I think. tldr limlife scott analysis postponed until I get my life together enough to be able to sit down and watch forthree hour #bree barks so fucking loud #asks

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cthulhusstepmom · 1 year

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Ghost is a walking dichotomy, Soap has discovered. He's watched him strip the layers of a man's skin away to get information from him, seen him snap someone's neck in as little time as it takes to take a breath. But he's also so capable of heartbreaking kindness. His genuine concern for the fish, the way he saves the best part of his plate for Soap; offering it to him with reverence. The way he's cleaning Johnny's wound so tenderly. It's in these moments of gentleness where Johnny almost forgets what they do, what they've seen, who they are.

So when Ghost's voice snaps into that serious tone it's almost like a slap in his dizzy, goofily smiling, face.

"Wha?"

"Where is it? I'll get rid of it for you." Under the sharp tone is still that lethal gentleness, and even under that is a shaking fear.

"Oh, oh Ghost." He shifts, uncomfortable in his skin and wanting to be anywhere but here. "Ye... Ye cannae get rid of it."

His Lieutenant draws back a little, a mix of apprehension and offense in his eyes.

"It hurt you, nothing else matters."

Soap can feel his heart splitting as his throat starts to burn. Ghost stares up at him with fiery eyes, hands still holding his wrist so so softly.

"Where is the snake Soap? I promise you it'll never hurt you again. Whoever brought it in is going to have hell to pay too." He earnestly promises and Soap feels a single hot tear slip out of his eye.

"Ghost..." He chokes out. "Simon... It's mine."

The small room goes silent. Nothing even dares to move but for the violent flinch the sentence rips out of Ghost.

He doesn't dare say anything, doesn't dare to move or even breathe. He looks down at Ghost and Ghost meets his stare with turmoil roiling in his gaze.

Soap doesn't know what he expected, screaming or sobbing or angry silence but the frantic confusion he can see in the other man is as far as can be from what he'd thought he'd get.

They sit there like that for a few long moments, each absorbed in his own thoughts, before Ghost slowly rises from his kneel. If Johnny were in better spirits he would tease him for the quiet cracks his knees make. And with that violent tenderness he slowly curls an arm around Johnny and leans him down into the bed, pressing behind him and holding him close just like they'd done on any number of frigid nights out in the blind. And they just sit there holding each other in silence as they slowly drift into a dreamless sleep.

#in this canon this is the first time theyve done something that can't be explained away by extenuating circumstances #but you don't really save the best parts of your meal religiously for your subordinate who youre friends with #Ghost is devoted to Soap #full stop #and Soap is dedicated to Ghost 100%#i hear you “Cthulhu why are the emotionally constipated military men just cuddling instead of resolving their issues unhealthily?”#to which i say:#Ghost just had his world tilted on its axis #a constant in his life is that snakes are bad and the people who keep them are bad people who do bad things #like his father #but here's John “he owns my soul” MacTavish bleeding profusely and still not letting Ghost kill the snake also being unquestionably good #even though he understands intellectually that Soap has done bad things #hes watched the little punk blow up shit for the sake of it and literally clip a car battery to a man's ears #that doesn't matter because Johnny is Good with a capital G and he is the exact opposite of Ghost's father #so he really doesnt have it in him to be angry and he just needs to hold close to the constancy and try to reconcile his new information #And Soap is just so so ready to be immediately rejected and never see Simon again #he doesn't want to sacrifice what he maybe has with Ghost to protect his rescues #because they need him and they didnt ask to be what they are or where they are #so hes just so so relieved that Ghost hasnt ordered him out and killed all of his babies #because he's seen Ghost shoot a dog in yhe head on a mission for barking and Ghost loves dogs #he doesnt want to see what Ghost would do to an animal he doesn't like #I HOPE THIS IS BETTER THAN THE CLIFFHANGERS #GUYS THERES SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT COMING #AHOFFBIDKSHAIAKBZJA #cod mw2 #fish person gaz #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #reptile person soap

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quasieli · 1 year

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Guess it's just gonna be another day of getting pissed off and upset by things my father has said to me 🙃🙃

#Eli Speaks #i am trying so hard to be civil with him and give him the benefit of the doubt #but today was too much #he did something that really fucking pissed me off #when i made my stance on this issue insanely clear by telling him multiple times #'hey i dont wanna know about x thing so in the worst case scenario that that needs to happen dont tell me'#guess what he did?!#i really dont know what to do with him #all this shit has been so jarring #cause like usually we're pretty on the same page #but for the last month or 2 it feels like he doesnt understand a word i say no matter how clear i make myself #im really hoping things will go back to normal once we move and get settled #cause if not im truly gonna go insane #i want to continue to have a good relationship with my father but he is making it so hard #anyway im just angry and annoyed #i need something to distract myself #i wanna draw but i can't think really #i need something calming to draw

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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Self shipping is always the morally correct thing to do

#Listen to my problems #sometimes self shipping includes the slow and painful process of getting killed over amd over by your f/o thats okay youll get him #eventually. orrr herrrrr (motivational speaker voice).#let me think hm theres been three guys ive loved enough to be this crazy over. self shipping is always correct #if youre not self shipping thats okay but if you want to you should you should draw yourself vivisecting him while hes squealin and giggling #you should write about the two of you biting eavh other until you hit bone you should literally kill him with a knife and them cry over the #body and then bring him back to life and do it again just so you can cry over the body again #you have to grip him by the shoulders and spit in his fave and use all the things he trusted you with against him and you have to make him #hate you you have to make him unable to forgive you then you have to make him forgive you then you have to apologise to him #and then. ohh and then you hit him with all that shit again but make sure you quick save before that because he might not forgive you again #you need to make him swallow pennies before getting into the mri machine and you need yo tell him that itll be okay smd you both know hes #going to explode but he does it anyway because he knows youre going to bring him back and he fucking loves it he wants to do it #oh he doesnt just love it hes addicted to it he wants it to happen and youll make it happen for him youll force it to happen even if hes #begging you not to do it again you can make him do anything you want. you can make him hate you if you want. if thats what he likes. you can #do it for him and you can do it for yourself and you can do it even if you both dont want it to happen you can make him get on his knees and #beg and then you can do it anyway and you can make him so angry that he hurts you right back and you can let him end it and after that you #can do it all over again if you really wanted to ... anyway you self ship to scratch an itch i self ship to scratch an itch everybody wants #different things out of the fiction they consume .. we should get more character reacts when you say youre pregnant but kiryu would be like #um. (blushes) wait is it mine ? <- and you can tell him anything and he’d have to believe it #god i need to go to bed ... wish i was playing yakuza rn ......

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marklikely · 1 year

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take me back to 2016 when i could enjoy a star wars without remembering rian johnsons garbage movie and getting mad

#esb was on tv and i was like ooh i love movie. *5 minutes later* oh god i forgot that i am so angry.#avpost #i hate you shitty character writing i hate you completely erasing characters' traits offscreen i hate you cringeworthy sense of humor #i hate you sidelining the protagonist of color for a plot cul de sac that only serves to 'teach him a lesson' he didnt need to fucking lear #i hate you taking away all the positive traits of another character of color to just make him a stereotype #i hate you flattening the female lead to have no more personality and goals of her own just to be a pawn for drama b/w two men #i hate you shallow girlboss feminism that doesnt actually hold up to even mild scrutiny and isnt even progressive #i hate you undercutting every poignant emotional moment from the previous movie to make a shallow joke #i hate you 'subverting expectations' by insulting the audience and throwing away every plot thread that had been set up by tfa #i hate you ruining the entire series just bc you wanted a limp sadboy redemption arc for a character thats literally based on neo nazism.#i hate you throwing a bone to shippers of a pairing between a woman and her symbolic rapist (the creators' word for what he did)#i hate you reylo i hate you kylo fandom i hate you racist writing i hate you everyone who mistreated john boyega i hate you rian johnson #and just to top it off i hate you people who saw the fanboys have a meltdown bc they cant stand movies w women in them and just #decided that it must mean that this dumpster fire is actually really good and progressive and now have to keep fucking hyping it up #as if its not just a complete shambles its such a bad fucking movie and rian johnson is a bad writer and i hate him

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616nightcrawler · 9 months

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i cantg wait to get home and get out of my fucking mind blazes high

#one week of family time is. a lot #i need to be alone so fucking bad #my sister literally wont let me be alone bc she thinks it means im angry wt her #couldnt draw bc shell stare at what im doing and start interorogating me #my dad doesnt understand anything about me and most of the things i do irrirtate him #and he just talks at me while im trying to read. i have to beg him to stop and even that doesnt work #like its FINE it was a really good little trip but i need to get away from them #so i can get back to my basis of only hating myself somewhat instead of wishing i hadnt been born #the life and times of brows

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year

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world's thinnest walls versus parents' stupidest argument

#hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby #no one should be this angry about star wars #it's like theyre in the same room as me and theyre a floor below me #theyre not good roommates :|#like. they're literally echoing #this house is gonna fall apart and it's gonna be george lucas' fault #if im like hey you guys are loud there's like a 70% chance theyll be like Ok What Is Your Problem We're Not Being That Loud #god the other day my mom was eating something while i was at a computer and she leaned over my shoulder and i was like hey #could you please not chew in my ear #because it's been established for YEARS that i have a really big problem with the ol mastication #and she's like 🙄🙄🙄 honey. dont. i wasnt chewing in your ear and my mouth was closed #maybe she was like 8 inches away from my ear. i still fucking felt that viscerally!! leave me alone i dont want my tics to act up #i will convulse. fuckign get away from me i have to scrub my eardrums now #child's politest request vs mother's complete inability to accommodate needs she doesnt personally relate to/understand #(my dad's not much better i just dont try with him bc he's like. a debate bro. and he's gone half the time anyway)#they also share a complete inability to see any symptoms in me or my brothers which is Not Good for literally all of us #my mom's just a little more frustrating bc she's a psych major so she thinks she knows everything. like. mom #you CANNOT be arguing with me about whether or not the r slur was always ableist and then be like psh. that kid's not autistic theyre just #self dxing to account for their other problems. i know this bc ive been around them their whole lives (infrequently and with little depth)#so imagine if i did that. i would be killed on sight i would never be able to speak to her again im not kidding it would be so so awful #thing is I'd probably believe her too. hell on earth #you dont act like my professor told me autistic ppl act in the 90s. gonna have to zap you with my death ray (forcing you to argue in #defense of your experiences which we didnt notice or invalidated at the time)#im not even 100% sure im autistic. but the fact that i cant talk to her means idk if i can talk to an actual doctor about it bc im still a #dependent and she'd probably be there with me.#I'd have to get a doctor on board or she'd NEVER believe me. how the hell am i supposed to do that #god. whatever #idek if i wanna get diagnosed but i want her to believe me. i want to be able to talk about what i need bc if i dont have a good enough #reason (my comfort is not reason enough) then she never will. and it'll get worse. it sucks basically #she's fucking doctor autism apparently and can sniff em out. christ almighty she's unbearable sometimes

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cadaveraaa · 2 years

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✶ 𝙻𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚍’𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚎.

✶ 𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜? 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚑. 𝚒𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝟷𝟶𝟶𝟶 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎. 𝚜𝚘. 𝚢𝚎𝚊. 𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚘

✶ 𝚝𝚠: 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚍.

Lloyd’s anger is volatile

He wants to kick and bite and scream and rip open wide the corpse of someone’s who pissed him off. He thinks he could get something—anything—a bat, a chair, a book or even his own two fucking fists and he could hit someone in the head, knocking them over, blood flowing so freely and wantonly from the cracked skull. They fall, and without a moment to react, Lloyd is on them, fingers slipping through blood and pus and he grabs them by the hair, roots ripping from scalp and scalp ripping from skull and he hits them. He hits them once, twice, thrice, again and again and again and again and again till he can’t make out nose from mouth from eye. He wants to see their forehead scraped and bruised; he wants to see their nose bleeding so profusely and quickly, that it can fill a whole room with nothing but sticky red sanguine, and it’ll stain him and it’ll stain that motherfucker and it’ll stain his friends and everyone he loves and everyone he hates and everyone he knows and everyone he doesn’t know and all the strangers in the world who look up to him and all those friends who hate his guts. Lloyd wants to put his hands in the fucker’s mouth, ripping open wide their jaw, unhinging it and letting it fall freely, teeth spilling from gums and falling on the floor. He wants to collect those teeth and crush them into dust, mix it with the blood, and he wants to watch the motherfucker eat their own pestilence and plague. He wants them to see what evil, what pure unbridled hatred tastes like. He wants so—so—so—so— badly to get this motherfucker and claw at them, rip their eyes out, dig holes into their cheeks and rip through muscle and fat and tissue till he gets to rotting molars covered in cavities, and he wants to scrape at those cavities till blood is pouring from where rot once lived. And Lloyd just wants so badly, so fucking badly, to see someone bleed. Not die. No. He wants blood.

Lloyd wants blood. So much fucking blood. On the walls, on the floor, the windows and the ceiling and the door and in the closet, covering the skeletons like a crudely done paint job. He wants blood on his hands, under his fingernails, dripping from his wrist, dried on his arms and his chest, shrouding his shoulders like a cape and he wants it in his hair and on his face and in his mouth and every little bit of skin visible to the naked eye. He wants to see someone’s skin turn so pale—cloudy, cold, burning to the touch and glazed over, like looking into the eyes of the Reaper—and he wants to watch veins so blue drain. Drain like a faucet. A faucet to wash, to clean, to drink from. Lloyd wants blood so fucking badly, it makes his head hurt and his heart churn and his stomach turn.

Lloyd’s anger is very, very volatile.

Sometimes he thinks it’s the only piece of himself which he can really call his.

No one expects it of him. He’s the good green ninja; he’s the savior of the people; the light of continent; the one whom they all look up to.

Who knew he was no better than those who he scorned and fought?

He knew.

He always knew. But no one ever took the fucking time to look aside from his stupid fucking persona and see there was a person under the gi; there was a personality to the prophecy.

The prophecy never stated he had to be a good person. Only the savior. A good person can be a savior, but a savior does not need to be a good person.

Better to be feared than loved, right? Maybe then he’ll be heard. Maybe then he’ll be seen. Maybe then he’ll finally be taken fucking seriously.

Maybe someone would finally notice him as Lloyd and not just as the Green Ninja

They’ll see him as Lloyd, the fuck up. Lloyd, the abandoned. Lloyd Garmadon, patron saint of all those misrepresented and mistreated, of all the children who cannot find a place because there wasn’t one made for them and so instead, they carved it out themselves; made it of blood and sweat and shivs born of calluses and tears.

Lloyd’s anger is volatile. Lloyd’s anger is an expression of the love he cannot give himself. Lloyd’s anger can only be directed at himself and himself alone, because there is no one more of a bad person than himself. Because Lloyd is not a good person. He is a savior. And he didn’t even ask to be either.

Lloyd is not an angry person. He is hurt. He is tired. He is scared. Fear has buried itself so deep into his heart and made a home there; burrowed itself into the farthest crevices of his body and rooted itself down. It leeches off of his blood like a plant does to water, and he can feel the roots grow throughout his body. They course through him, taking hold of veins and arteries and strangling and killing them before taking their places. These roots bloom into fear, panic, and anxiety, all of which house and hold him hostage, and he can’t do anything but allow them to control his actions and his whims. Better to be seen as evil than a coward.

Lloyd is a little boy trapped in a man’s body, fighting a war he’s not even sure he believes in. He’s not even sure what he believes in. He can’t even figure out who he is because there was no time to craft a person outside of what others needed him to be. He is a photocopy of those around him, picking and choosing what parts of their personality might best suit him in any situation, and Lloyd wants to just curl up and die. Lloyd just wants his father. He wants his mother. He wants a family and he wants safety and he wants to be loved—but he cannot have any of those things because he is the savior and saviors don’t get a choice. Neither what they say or do is their own because destiny has predetermined who and what they will be, and destiny is not a kind mistress, or even a pretty one, and is instead an abusive lover, who has caught Lloyd in a chokehold and is watching him slowly suffocate under the weight of clasped hands.

Lloyd’s anger is volatile.

Lloyd wishes he could rip his own eyes out. Take a hammer to his head and crack his skull wide open and let his brain pour out, grey matter splattering onto the ground so the rest of the world can step on it. He wishes he could break his jaw and let his teeth rot out of his gums. He wants blood to run from every cut and scrape, and he wants to feel his face surrender under the hot pressure of swelling and bruising, and he can only dream of someone breaking his nose so sweetly, so imperfectly, that it is ripped off entirely, and he begins to choke on his own blood. He wants someone to hit him. Again, and again and again and again and again till he can’t breathe without the sting of a fist in his face. Till he can’t live without the threat of death hanging over him. Till he can’t stand without knowing everyone can see him for what he really is: a bloody, broken mess of a child, who cannot even defend himself but is still expected to defend the everyone else first.

But what about him?

Lloyd doesn’t want to die. He just wants to bleed. A sacrifice. An oath. A promise. To do better, be better, be anything other than himself. Something like a good person. Something people could look up too. Something others might be proud of. Something others might want to associate with. Something which he wouldn’t be ashamed of.

When Lloyd looks at his knuckles and sees broken bones and healing bruises, he wishes it were his face. A reflection of his heart. His emotions on display.

Lloyd’s anger is volatile. And it is draining. He is not sure if he can even lift his arms halfway up to cover his face in shame. His legs are lead, prickling and burning, and he can only drag himself into bed and sleep away the draining volatility.

Tomorrow, Lloyd will be twice as angry. He will be volatile. He will bleed. He will be a good person.

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hearties-circus · 2 years

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I honestly think big night by tom cardy would work really well for a snake eater amv

#gamer txt.#like #'when youre high on acid' bb having just eaten something poisonous and tripping #'and you wanna go home' being whacked out suck and he doesnt want to fight the boss #'but you cant go - cause your friends are here' his allies in the codec encouraging him/the boss' presence #'theres a russian man - and hes really angry' ocelot being his usual bitch of a self #'so you buckle up - cause its a big night' bb kicks his ass and knows theres more fighting to come #chorus can be a montage of him sneakinf around/taking out enemies/his talk with eva #'youre lined up for the toilet - but the lines not moving' the fear poisoned him and hes hallucinating again #'youre outside a broom closet - its been 2 hours' bb is still tripping and struggling to get ahold of himself #'the russian man's back - he's getting more angry' self explanatory #'sir im off to the dance floor. bitch' bb kicks his ass and continues with his mission #chorus this time could be a montage of everything between then and bb getting his ass handed to him by volgin #'now youre out in the gutter - and the stars are your friends' bb just got his shit wrecked and his mind us reeling from his injuries #'youre tired' hes passing out #'its a big night' he's remembering how important (and fuck awful) his mission is and that it needs to be completed #'the russian man's back - and he's got his brother' ocelot n volgin ready to torture #'you get in their limo - it's a big night' bb getting tortured by volgin #'its a big night - so big' hes trying to hold on #'one of the biggest in memory - its a big night' the boss' appearance and bbs eye getting fucked up #chorus this time is him escaping from prison/planting the explosives/just fucking up volgins shit #'its a big night' ending off with bb and the boss facing eachother in the field of flowers #sorry for putting thought into a joke song but but think about it

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1980ssunflower · 2 years

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so prev reblog but genuinely rewatching book 4 doesnt make me miss min and ryan any less tbh

#it might be because infinity train as a whole doesnt let their characters just have a good time hfdjks #its suffering and anger and yelling and trauma #so same w min and ryan although their season was the tamest of the whole show #but like also idk #hfsdjhgfdjsk #i just aouh #want to spend genuine good time with them #off train and just making music and laughing and going on roadtrips #id love to come up w album concepts and song ideas w them #i just want to do cute domestic stuff w them #PLUS GOD WATCHING BOOK 4 CAN MAKE ME FEEL PRETTY BAD JUST CAUSE OF HOW. ANGRY W EACHOTHER THEY ARE. AND. WHEN THEY CRY.#I WANT TO BE THERE AND COMFORT THEM #i feel so fucking bad for min tbh cause GOD he really needed and train esp but also ryan to slap some sense into him for him to start #following his dreams and live for himself #but god ryan makes me SAD #he was so fucking lonely and desperate to have min be with him again that he lied and said ANTHING to min to try to get him to leave w him #and the multiple mentions of ryans family not caring for him and how they wouldnt realize he went missing #i just...#fuck man its making me sad rn #i just want to kiss him over and over and tell him hes loved #that me and min love him and he'll never have to feel alone or unloved again #i started ranting sorry gfhdsjk #ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980

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daimoan · 19 days

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dont remember if i ever was this angry at anyone before

#keep thinking abt [redacted]#wack. tbh #like embarrassing idgaf abt this guy why is he still on my mind.#this is some ego feeding shit like its cool to hate and be angry or something?#its just that i think he should be corrected. but the system is not in agreement on this.#guy was like my best friend for a couple months never even asked abt the system lol n theyr like looking out for him #or i guess mby theyre looking out for me/us. so as to not go to jail/be haunted by our choices our whole lives.#whatever #i know how to make it stop it is just taking time and effort. because its like 1. kind of addictive so i keep accidentaly/habitually reinfo #cing it and 2. the other option is to face that im hurt and i cant do shit about it realy other than ... LeArN from it or some shit #like learn what? i already went full schizoid over this.#maybe i dont need to learn shit lol maybe i already did it :)#so just the pain then. and overcoming the hate habit. and like just letting it go and forgetting abt it #but the thing is that he needs to die i think.#i want to kill kill kill kill him so bad.#i hope hes not reading this in case i ask to meet him again sometime. for business.#maybe thats why its still on my mind #because im unwilling to let go of the idea that we could help eachother if i wasnt so stupid hurt over some little thing (the nasty shit he #pulled that hurt me lol) like bro. bro. im not going to just get over it. like thts rly the thing. 3-5 yrs ago i would have totally just #elected to get over it and make up or smth like that.#and im v unwilling to do that now while lots of my brain architecture is still built for that interaction style.#so when im thinking kill kill kill kill im going to [redacted as fuck im not putting that shit online this is already bad enough] mby im #actually killing the mental structures that make me a target for abuse :)))))))))#all is good in the world i love myself and my life. and absolutely no one else. except my mom and my friends and that one other guy who als #might read my blog but i really doubt it bc he doesnt evenrly ask me how im doing or anything . its cool though. for now.

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malkaviian · 11 months

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how to realize i've had enough academically speaking today: i started to think about rafael and luca's domestic life, in case they somehow meet and get together after rafael's divorce.

#oc talk #i imagine he would be heartbroken but luca would be able to lift his spirits just by existing. luca would come home #after doing grocery shopping and he would be like 'ah!! i forgot salt and cheese!' while rafael's all 'its ok<3 i'll buy it get comfy'#he would be. really protective; the type to kill the bug except luca would feel bad so he asks him to put it outside instead.#these little kind gestures he shows through the day would enamour him more tbh. i dont think they would fight that much #because luca is just too soft to get angry; and he would be way too soft towards him to get angry at anything he does.#ok maybe he would get a bit angry on the whole 'not doing anything else besides blocking to the person who sends me death threats'#but its not directed at him its more the frustration over the fact he seems to be too kind and non confrontational for his own good.#a family can be a femboy who lives off streaming on twitch; a divorced soldier #and the guy who seems part of their lives because he loves to send said femboy horrific and medically accurate death threats.#also finally luca can live off something that isnt delivery or instant noodles because rafael will cook sometimes for the both of them #although he also doesnt know to cook. a lot of things bc charlotte used to be in charge of that (like the fucking patriarchy /j /s)#but hey at least they can eat homemade soup. or chicken wings. its better than nothing.#another thing is that he would feel suspicious of anything luca's fans send him and inspect the package just to see it doesnt contains.#an explosive or something KJDNKJDSNFJNJ the package needs to surpass his vibe check /j #oh and he would feel extremely awkward appearing on stream even if accidentally so whenever luca is Working™#he secludes himself on the living room and talks to mary or smth. luca on the other hand would probably talk about him on stream #whenever he knows he will be busy and not come home for a few days or more. he would miss him a lot:c #another thing before going to sleep and because i needed to say it: rafael's sex life would suffer a significant downgrade. and i dont mean #that sex became bad; moreso he doesnt have sex like. ever. his meat stick has no use now besides peeing #maybe now that hes dating someone though luca may be open to have sex SOMETIMES; but for him sometimes is like. 1 time every 2 months #and rafael's used to be way more sexually active (plus the few times would need to be way softer compared to how he was used with charlotte #i imagine that can be a bit frustrating tbh and as any guy traumatized by being cheated on (even more on his case) he would be #somewhat scared that luca doesnt likes him actually and that hes already looking for someone else/has someone else 'satisfying' him already #he realizes it doesnt makes sense at all because hes not that type of person; or so it seems. he was already tricked once for years.#but its ok they will find a solution because theyre 💖💘💖IN LOVE💖💘💖 the lingerie luca had for onlyfans could be useful for something #probably

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