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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

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Shirtsleeves ~ Enoch O'Connor (part 2)(final)

A/n: @nektotersh here's the last part! Hope you so enjoy

Word Count: 3200+

Masterlist

Y/n kind of expected things to get weird again after he and Enoch fell asleep outside together and woke up cuddling. But they didn't. Instead, Enoch seemed to hover around him more. He was more talkative and easily distracted by Y/n, even if he was trying to focus on something that had always easily held his attention, like his dolls.

Enoch would be mid-insertion when he'd spot Y/n staring at him, watching with fascination. He would stop altogether and just stare at Y/n. Y/n would look up eventually and blush. "Sorry, am I bothering you with my staring?"

"No," Enoch would reassure. Then he'd go back to the doll without further explanation, but it seemed he was fighting off a smile for... some reason.

It was weird and new and... kind of wonderful. On top of the sudden change in how Enoch treated Y/n, he also began to show up more and more into Y/n's room and in the morning they'd wake up cuddling or at least with Enoch's face pressed into the side of Y/n's arm. It was then Enoch began to steal Y/n's shirts that Y/n started to not be able to handle it anymore.

One day Enoch just came to breakfast in one of the shirts Jake had gotten Y/n during his quest to return to them. When he sat down next to Y/n and smiled at him, Y/n nearly choked. His face was so red it looked like he was about to explode, and his mouth kept moving but noise refused to come out. Any noise at all. He just looked at his food for a second before he felt eyes on him and he looked up to see Bronwyn and Emma smirking at him. Y/n ducked his head and began shoveling food as fast as he could, booking it the second his plate was clean. He grabbed his plate once he was done and raced to the kitchen to clean it off and then outside o catch some air- he was in such a rush he forgot to ask to be excused, but Miss Peregrine hadn't seemed to even think about stopping him.

What was going on?!

He felt trapped again like he had in those spaces of darkness, trying to get to Miss Peregrine's Loop before he died. Racing against time and becoming more and more reckless and praying that he was lucky enough to get away with it. But now he felt trapped not by shadows and walls that locked him in his bad decisions - even if they payed off in the end - but by his emotions. His stupid heart which yearned and twisted and begged and demanded. This felt like so much more than friendship. It almost felt like Enoch was... flirting.

But that was impossible! Enoch had made it very clear that he didn't feel that way about Y/n. Or, at least, that flirting had made him uncomfortable. Maybe... I mean was it possible that Enoch had stopped him not because he wasn't interested, but because he was interested and didn't know how to handle it? The fact that he, a guy, liked and wanted to be with another guy, when he grew up in a time where that was not in any way okay?

Oh god he was doing it again.

Enoch didn't feel that way about him. He needed to get over these emotions or they were going to actually destroy him. Pain like the kind heart break wracked on someone so young and impressionable was not worth it. Worth the split second moments of happiness when he almost had what he so wanted just within his grasp, but could never act on it or grasp it firmly because if he did then Enoch would shake him out of his fantasy, and then hurt like no other would be all he was left with. He had spent far too long ruining friendships with his feelings to do it again with Enoch. The only best friend he had ever had.

No, there HAD to be an explanation for this. Y/n could not get his heart broken again. He couldn't lose Enoch's friendship. It wasn't an option. So instead of jumping to conclusions that would lead to delusions and ruin everything, Y/n had to figure out why Enoch was actually doing this?

Maybe this was how Enoch expressed friendship. He'd been closed up in the past, only now really opening up and relaxing. Sine becoming friends with Y/n, Enoch had gotten better and better at being social and all around pleasant to be around, even if he still was quiet and reserved and Y/n had to give him warning looks when he went to do something that wasn't ideal. Like messing with Victor. Or Jake. The harmless, safe pranks had helped him blow off steam without scarring the other children and getting into real trouble. Everyone had appreciated them, even if it meant they usually ended up messy before the sun had even begun to go down. Enoch and Y/n had never really had really close friends before, and both of them were really bad with people. Maybe this is what Enoch did when all his guard was down. I mean, Y/n's bed was a little bigger and Enoch seemed to take comfort in being around him, even if he liked to be alone when it came to the others. And his t-shirts were more comfortable than the clothes Enoch was used to wearing. More breathable and easier to put on. Maybe Enoch had seen Jake and Y/n "sharing" shirts since some of them were the same and they were all from the same places, and had assumed that was another thing friends did. Share shirts. You know what that actually made sense. If Jake and Y/n did it, why couldn't Enoch? He'd never been one to ask permission after all. Maybe he hadn't thought about the message it would accidentally send.

Just friends. They were just friends.

"You okay?" Y/n turned around to the sound of Enoch's voice. At first Y/n had only been fixated on the fact that Enoch was wearing his shirt. He had not, until now, realized how very good Enoch looked in it.

The boy swallowed, trying to keep himself under control. "Yeah." His voice sounded steady enough, even as he had to wet his lips to keep his mouth from going totally dry. "Sorry I had a kind of rough night," he lied. "Needed some fresh air."

Enoch nodded slowly. "Have I done anything to... bother you?"

"Bother me? How could you ever do that now?" Y/n chuckled, brushing it off. "No Enoch you didn't bother me at all. You don't, ever." He didn't want to lose Enoch to his emotions. He didn't want Enoch to withdraw and close up again. He was happy that Enoch finally felt comfortable enough to be acting like this. Taking liberties. He had smiled at breakfast. Enoch NEVER smiled around the others. This was really great! He was happy. Y/n should be too.

"Okay." Enoch's voice was soft. He seemed unsure. Hesitant.

Y/n rose an eyebrow. "Are you okay?" His question was a soft prodding. Concerned.

Enoch scoffed in amusement. "I'm always okay."

It was then that Y/n realized just how different Enoch was from when they first met. His hair was a little messier. His shoulders were relaxed. He seemed more shy than that he hated being around other people. Nervous, instead of irritated. It was adorable. Stop it, he chided himself. "So, what do you wanna do today? The usual?"

Enoch seemed to think for a second. "Yeah," he finally settled on. "Come on, we've got a lot to do." He seemed to pause only a second in hesitation before he looped his arm around Y/n's shoulders. Despite being just a little younger, Enoch was tall enough to pull it off without any issue. When was the last time Enoch had even touched Y/n, let alone like this?

It wasn't until much later that day that something occurred to Y/n to make sense of it all.

"You're acting like Jake."

Enoch almost stabbed himself before putting his tools down, looking like he was a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar as his eyes met Y/n’s. “What do you mean?"

"I was trying to figure out why you've been acting so odd. I mean don't get me wrong I don't mind you sleeping with me or taking my shirts, but you're also touchier and you smile more and it just felt very not-you." Y/n tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. "Why are you acting like Jake?"

There was a second of silence as Enoch swallowed, trying to collect his courage. He'd looked at Jake and saw how everyone liked him. How even in the short few days he'd been there, he'd been able to get Emma to like him despite her hate of relationships after Abe had left them. Jake, who had won over each and every person at the house and had saved them all. He'd thought if he was more like Jake, Y/n would maybe like Enoch like Emma liked Jake. "He's... cool." Enoch shrugged, trying not to choke on the words. There was nothing he hated more than complimenting Jake. This was getting ridiculous.

Y/n looked like Enoch had slapped him. "Enoch what the fuck?" It was the first time Y/n had ever cussed and it made Enoch's eyes go wide. "What is going on with you?" He grabbed Enoch's face, forcing the younger boy to look at him. "You know that you are amazing, right? Just you. You, Enoch O'Connor. YOU are my best friend. YOU are the one who found me and has since learned how to battle my power. You're the one who wakes up at all hours to comfort me when I'm struggling, or who has my back when people press on matters I don't wanna go into. Not Jake. You're enough for me, Enoch. You know that don't you?"

Enoch was knocked breathless. Y/n's expression was intense and insistent, driving home how honest and sincere his words were. Enoch felt them in his core. "Why do you like me? I mean... everyone else hates me. Why don't you?"

Y/n smiled. "You chose me first Enoch. I just chose you back."

Maybe it was the way Y/n was looking at him. Enoch wanted to blame what he did on the feeling of Y/n's hands against his skin. Or maybe that stupid smell that always hovered around Y/n, soothing and familiar and nice. Maybe it was the way that Y/n knew Enoch so well that he had called Enoch out on acting like someone else immediately. Maybe it was that Y/n hated seeing someone else in Enoch's face. That Y/n liked ENOCH, just Enoch, as himself. Maybe it was the pile up of everything that had happened since that very first time they'd met when Enoch had been struck by how pretty Y/n was and how much he wanted to be around the older boy who's rare smile was more beautiful than anything else. Maybe it was how close they were or how warm he felt or the soft feeling of Y/n's shirt that he wore.

Maybe it was just that he was in love with Y/n.

Whatever it was, Enoch leaned forward, pressing his lips to Y/n's very quickly and kind of awkwardly. He didn't know what he was doing and panicked directly after the millisecond moment had passed. But Y/n was pulling him back before he could go too far and kissing him back. Enoch's head spun and he felt his body lock up.

Y/n leaned back, eyes shut tight. "Wh- you- I'm sorry."

Enoch panicked even more. "No! I kissed you first, I should be the one apologizing."

Y/n ran his hands through his hair and Enoch realized they weren't on his face anymore. His skin felt suddenly cold. "Wh-why did you kiss me?"

"I... don't know." Enoch stepped forward and Y/n stepped back again. Enoch frowned. "Did you... not want me to?"

"Yes," Y/n grunted. "God I wanted you to so much." Y/n rubbed his eyes as Enoch stood there, stunned. Opening his eyes, Y/n looked at Enoch with terror. "Do you like me?"

Taking a second to order his thoughts and swallow the lump in his throat, Enoch was quiet at first. Then he nodded, slowly. "I do. Is that bad? Do you not want me to?"

Y/n looked ready to throw up. "Don't get me wrong, I like you too, I just... I spent my entire life waiting for someone to look at me like you're looking at me right now." Enoch tried to collect himself. He found that the walls he'd so easily hid himself in before had come down for Y/n and he felt exposed. Like he was naked in front of a crowd of strangers. He wasn't sure what to even do from here. "I got rejected... so many times. Got approached by girl after girl and I had to come up with some reason that made sense as to why I didn't want them like that, even when we were really chill with each other. Without telling them that I'm... I'm..." Y/n swallowed. "Gay." His face set and a weight seemed to lift off of him. "I've never said it out loud before."

Enoch gave a small smile. "Honestly, when you first told us that you liked guys I didn't know what to think." Y/n looked at him with wide eyes and he found himself just going off. Once he began he couldn't stop and it all came out at hyper speed. "When I first saw you, I felt... different. Different than I felt with anyone else. I used to have friends in my old town, before I came here. Before I started exploring my talent as you call it." Y/n gave a short laugh and Enoch almost smiled, if he hadn't been too nervous to do so. "I mean, it's been ages but I know generally how friendship works. I think. But you, you changed everything. I remembered thinking you were a girl with short hair at first. Your face was dirty but your eyes were wide and bright and beautiful. I remember feeling breathless and drawn to you. Then you talked and I pushed it all out of my head because you were a boy and boys couldn't be attracted to boys. I'd just thought you were a girl. Obviously." Enoch shook his head. "But then you said... and it didn't go away. It just got worse and worse until I felt like... addicted to you, I don't know." He shifted, obviously awkward about sharing his feelings so plainly.

"I know what you mean." Y/n rubbed the back of his neck. "You know they're never going to let this down if we tell them, right?"

Enoch actually laughed. "They've been telling us for, what, three years now?"

Y/n shrugged. "Something like that." He smiled and Enoch felt warmth bloom in his chest. That smile wavered as Y/n got visibly nervous. "What... what now? I mean, are we...? Are you...?" He blushed furiously, struggling to find the words he wanted to say but had told himself since childhood he would always be denied.

Wringing his wrists, Enoch shrugged. His eyes trained on his feet, suddenly very interested in the grass. "I dont know how to... do this. Not even with a girl, let alone another guy."

Thinking, Y/n went quiet. Enoch finally looked up at the older boy before Y/n spoke again. "What if we just tried things? One thing at a time? I mean, we're already comfortable enough to slip into each other's rooms and you're already stealing my shirts." Y/n smirked and Enoch tugged on the bottom of the shirt he was wearing, blushing almost as much as Y/n had. "Maybe we could..." Y/n shrugged, moving closer. Enoch thought Y/n was going to kiss him again until the older boy reached down, taking Enoch's hand before interlacing their fingers. "Is this okay?"

Y/n's hand was warm just like the rest of him. It was soft too. "That's okay." He spoke quietly, staring at their hands in awe.

Brushing his thumb across Enoch's knuckles, Y/n continued, "And this?"

"That's fine too," Enoch confirmed.

Slowly, Y/n brought the back of Enoch's hand to Y/n's lips. "And that?" Enoch could feel Y/n's lips moving against his skin and it made his stomach twist.

Swallowing again, Enoch tried to collect himself. "I like that."

Y/n grinned. "Okay then. If we want to do something new, make sure the other person is okay with it and then if we're both okay with it, we can add it to the list of things we do."

"That's what boyfriends do?" Y/n's eyes widened a little and Enoch felt his breath stop for just a second. "I-is that okay?" He cleared his throat. "If I call you that?"

A smile slowly grew on Y/n's face. "Yeah. That's okay with me."

For a while, Y/n and Enoch thought that they'd gotten away with keeping their relationship a secret. The girls didn't bother them and even Jake seemed oblivious of it. They started to get bolder, with Enoch resting his head on Y/n's shoulder in front of the others or stealing longer looks at each other when they thought no one else was looking. They sat closer together and Enoch's arm made a home across Y/n's shoulders.

Finally Emma had had enough. "Just because you guys are dating doesn't mean you need to stare at each other that long in front of the rest of us."

Both boys looked away with flaming faces as Claire and Olive cracked up into fits of giggles. Horace rolled his eyes. "Just because you weren't there to witness how affectionate you and Jake were until you got used to each other doesn't mean the rest of us didn't have to deal with it. You have no room to talk." More laughter, this time with Fiona and Bronwyn joining in.

Jake leaned over and kissed Emma's cheek, setting her face matching Enoch and Y/n's. "She hasn't quite gotten used to me yet." He was smirking and Emma shoved him, toppling him over, sending Millard and Hugh laughing as well. Miss Peregrine grinned from the doorway, watching her kids all having a good time.

They deserved it after all they've been through.

No reason to tell Y/n and Enoch that the only reason the others had left the two boys alone was because the second they'd finally gotten together she had taken aside all the other kids and made sure they'd leave the boys alone to figure things out before they got pushed. They both needed time to adjust and find comfort in the relationship before getting called out fully. It was better they thought that they weren’t just obvious... It's not like they weren't.

#enoch oconnor #miss peregrines home for peculiar children #mphfpc x reader #mphfpc imagine #enoch oconnor x reader #enoch oconnor imagine #miss peregrines home for peculiar children x reader #male reader #miss peregrines home for pecuiar children imagine

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xtruss · 3 years

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A Muslim Writer on Finding Her Voice in Post-9/11, Post-Trump America

— By Aisha Sultan | 09/01/21 | Newsweek.

A new generation of Muslim Americans is making its mark. Spencer Platt/Getty

Like most Americans old enough to remember, I know exactly where I was and what I was doing on September 11, 2001 when the first hijacked plane hit the World Trade Center in New York City. I was showering when I heard my husband yelling for me. Dripping wet and wrapped in a towel, I watched in shock, along with tens of millions of others, as the Twin Towers fell, killing thousands of people inside.

Emotions from that day feel so much closer than two decades ago.

My stomach turned in revulsion. My body tightened with fear for my relatives who worked there. Dread settled like a heavy rock on my chest. Like other Americans, I wondered, who was attacking us. But as a Muslim, I had other questions too: Did the attackers claim to be Muslims? And, if so, what would happen to the rest of us?

I quickly got dressed and headed to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, where I worked as an education reporter. I talked to stunned school officials and students while still trying to process what was happening.

That evening, I checked in with my family in Texas. My brother, then in middle school, had been in class when his teacher broke the news. He became nervous and, in the teacher's eyes at least, asked too many questions. "Is this World War III? Did they bomb downtown? Are they going to bomb our town next?" The teacher told him to shut up and leave her classroom, that she couldn't bear to look at his face.

Riz Ahmed attends the "Mogul Mowgli" press conference during the 70th Berlinale International Film Festival Berlin at Grand Hyatt Hotel on February 21, 2020 in Berlin, Germany. Ahmed recently criticized “dehumanizing and demonizing portrayals of Muslims" in films. Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

My mother's co-workers at the department store where she had worked for years suddenly refused to speak to her. Cops escorted my hijab-wearing cousin off her college campus because it was no longer deemed safe for her to be there.

In the immediate aftermath of that day's horror, my grief and anger as an American was so compounded with my fear and anxiety as a Muslim that it compelled me to do something unthinkable for me: I poured my heart out to the readers of the Sunday paper.

Back then, it was unusual for a news reporter to pen a personal response to a national tragedy. This was long before social media made us all performative, confessional animals. I needed my neighbors in the Midwest to know that while Muslim Americans shared their grief and anger, we also feared whether our country would turn on us.

I ended that column with the questions my college-aged sister had asked me: "Will the government come after us like they did with the Japanese? Will other Americans stand up for us?"

I told my readers the same thing I told her: I don't know.

I wasn't sure what to expect but dozens and dozens of readers responded to her question with expressions of support: Yes, we will stand up for you, you and your family are one of us, they said, in one way or another, in message after message. There were just two negative, Islamophobic emails in the bunch.

Such an overwhelmingly positive response seems inconceivable now, given how polarized our discourse is now and how normalized hate speech has become—an irony, when you consider how heightened anti-Muslim sentiment was at the time.

Key moments after 9/11 also feel unimaginable now. Back then, a Republican president, George W. Bush, visited the Islamic Center in Washington D.C. days after the attack to tell the American people that the attacks violated the tenets of Islam—"Islam is peace," he famously said—and to defend Muslims as equal citizens worthy of respect and protection. Our last Republican president, by contrast, touted a "Muslim ban" across the country. Even my state, Missouri, now bright partisan red, was a swing state back in 2001, where Democrats sometimes voted for Republicans and vice versa.

Coming together after tragedy: U.S. Muslims sing "God Bless America" at an interfaith memorial service in Pasadena, California for 9/11 victims two days after the attacks. Lucy Nicholson/AFP/Getty

It was against this backdrop that I felt moved to share my vulnerability with readers who may never have met a Muslim before.

Their responses reassured and comforted me, but the expressions of support didn't always—or even mostly—translate into action on a national scale. Instead, the Muslim community bore the brunt of the fallout of 9/11 for years. The government targeted Muslim communities with surveillance, questioning and confinement. It seemed law enforcement and the media used the label of "terrorism" for heinous crimes only if the perpetrator was Muslim. The number of anti-Muslim hate crime incidents reported to the FBI rose from 28 in 2000 to 481 in 2001— and those are just the official numbers. Countless incidents are never reported to the FBI.

Yet, in those ensuing years, creative work by Muslims also bubbled up in the country. A trio of Muslim comedians—Preacher Moss, Azhar Usman and Azeem Muhammad—launched the "Allah Made Me Funny" comedy tour in 2003. Writer Laila Lalami's debut novel, Hope and Other Dangerous Pursuits, was published in 2005. Actor Aasif Mandvi began appearing on The Daily Show in 2006. G.Willow Wilson published her first graphic novel, Cairo, in 2007.

People who had lived as Muslims in America prior to 9/11 became American Muslims, more engaged in its civic, cultural and political institutions. Muslims creatives were reclaiming the narrative and telling our own stories instead of responding to the false dichotomy of victim or villain told about us.

I was among them. Seven years after the attacks, I began lobbying my editors for a features column, a departure from a decade of straight news reporting. I had become a mother with two small children. I was trying to make sense of the confusion and isolation that parenting provokes. My first column in 2008 described a bleak winter day when I was sleep-deprived and frustrated and feeling slightly suffocated by the tight bonds of motherhood.

The author: St. Louis Post-Dispatch syndicated columnist Aisha Sultan. Elizabeth Wisemen

Again, readers in the heartland responded with overwhelming support and commiseration. I wasn't making any overtly political arguments. As readers got to know me, they appreciated the commonalities in our parenting experiences despite our differences. I wasn't trying to be an ambassador or spokeswoman for my faith or an ethnic community. I was sharing my observations and struggles as a suburban, middle class American mom who happened to be Muslim and of Pakistani descent.

An older, childless white man who lives in a conservative exurban county wrote to say I was the only Muslim he knew besides the attackers on 9/11. He said he had changed his perspective on Muslims in America after reading my column for years. We weren't just a faceless enemy to him anymore. He saw me as a person, my humanity very real to him.

We've stayed in touch for more than a decade.

Over time more Americans have become like that reader, increasingly comfortable with the idea and presence of Muslims—as neighbors and even family members. Yet simultaneously, the conservative right turned Islam into an effective political weapon and used it to bludgeon Muslims who have sought greater representation and political power.

These opposing forces once again became evident in the correspondence I got from readers, The tone and tenor changed notably in the summer of 2016 as the political rhetoric of the presidential campaign came to a boiling point. Public writers have always had our share of angry critics. But the criticism I received turned increasingly vitriolic, with a deep undercurrent of anger. People who disagreed with what I'd written weren't merely looking to dissent but to silence me.

Increasingly, pushback was laced with profanity, racial slurs and calls to go back to where I came from. Anonymous writers called me a 'raghead c*nt' and others told me to "get out of America, you towel head bigot b*tch." One reader mailed a handwritten letter after I wrote about talking to my children about the killing of Travyon Martin, the Black teenager fatally shot by a white member of a neighborhood watch patrol in Florida. She said she would make a point of cutting out my column photo from the paper every weekend so she could put it in the toilet and piss on it.

After the 2016 election, the heightened anxiety about personal safety I'd felt right after 9/11 returned, even stronger and lasted for years. It's not hard to understand why. During the period between 2015 and 2016, the number of assaults against Muslims rose significantly, surpassing the aftermath of 9/11, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of hate crimes statistics from the FBI. Over the following years, disinformation and conspiracies began taking hold in America at a level I'd never seen before. White rage was palpable online and eventually, on the streets.

The memories and feelings associated with the events of 9/11 continue to play a role in attitudes toward the American Muslim community in some quarters. Here, the annual 'Tribute in Light' memorial in lower Manhattan near One World Trade Center. Spencer Platt/Getty

And yet during this period, Muslims in America continued to create art and cultural capital at an unprecedented level. Playwright Ayad Akhtar produced his Pultizer-winning play Disgraced. Hasan Minhaj reclaimed the title Patriot Act, launching a show that became a cultural touchpoint for a generation of American Muslims too young to know firsthand how that legislation was wielded against the Muslim community. Ramy Youssef won a Golden Globe, Mahershala Ali won two Oscars and Lena Khan is directing Hollywood films. Models, pundits and Olympic athletes came into the spotlight while wearing a hijab.

At some point, I too decided that whatever the costs of speaking out, far greater was the cost of silence. If someone was going to attack me for speaking out against white supremacists, that was a risk I was willing to take. I couldn't back down from writing about controversial issues that I knew would provoke an angry backlash, even when it felt reader abuse could possibly escalate to violence.

What I've observed and experienced over the past 20 years, as a columnist and as a Muslim, perhaps boils down to this: As the politics of exclusion grow more strident, parts of the culture embrace inclusivity. Each force is a reaction to the other.

Certainly this has happened in my own relationship with readers. Even as the negative emails ramped up in intensity and bile, I still have far more readers who send words of kindness and encouragement than hatred. Many reveal their own secrets and most vulnerable stories.

My goal when I began writing a column was to give a voice to parents struggling to raise kids in this digital, social media saturated age. I hope I've done that but along the way something else important happened: I found my own voice too.

My youngest sister, who was in college when I wrote my first personal story in the aftermath of 9/11, decided to attend law school after she graduated. She eventually ran for state judge in the 113th District in Houston and was elected in 2018 as part of the record-setting number of Muslims who won public office that year.

With the benefit of two decades of hindsight and the insights I've gained from my interaction with readers over the years, I realize I could have given her a better answer when she turned to me as a frightened college student in 2001. I could have reassured her: Yes, there will be other Americans who will stand up for us.

More importantly, we will learn to stand up for ourselves.

— Aisha Sultan is a syndicated columnist based at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

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inessencedevided · 4 years

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The Untamed, episode 43 - watching notes

The sun is setting on this show for me and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet 😔

(As if I will! Ha. Imma blog about nothing else the next ... probably years)

Last time on Sophie watches the untamed: We're still in the restricted section. The twin love-struck idiots of lan and wwx found the Collection of turmoil and suspect Jin Guangyao of intentionally bringing about Nie Mingjue's qui deviation.

As much as I love the "hihi. Wwx is wearing his boyfriend's underrobe" aspect of this, I also like the visual incorporation of lwj's colour scheme into wwx's clothes. (Not just through the undertone, his black tone also has slight grey seam.) It's as if now that they are finally fully committed to each other, wwx is displaying it for all the world to see

Jin Guangyao tore out a page to hide the evidence. That's not how to do that!!!

My heart is breaking for Lan Xichen. He looks like a man standing on a train track and watching the light speed towards him in horror while he's unable to move away

Feels like exactly no one on this show is getting their happy ending

*thinks about yi city and cries forever*😭😭😭

"Wangji, Jin Guangyao,in my eyes, is a totally different person from how you and other people see him." And we all know that lwj knows exactly what that's like

PARALLELS! 😭

(Sorry, I have a thing for those)

And lwj looks so pained

Thinking about it, it's now the man lwj loves against the man lxc loves (in whatever way. I still ship them. Not sure if its "canonically" romantic though). They can't both be right, so ... one of them is going to get their heart broken

Great, first the Yunmeng brothers, now the lan brothers are breaking my heart 🥺

Lwj says he's visiting "Grand Master", that's Lan Qiren right? What happened to him anyway? Haven't seen him in ages

I love how, even though it is wwx's word against jgy's right now, lan Xichen is still genuinely kind towards wwx

The whipping scars! I hadn't even thought about those anymore 😳

I'm probably going to get my heart ripped out soon, but before that

"You are not qualified to talk to me."

Sickest. Burn. Ever.

Also, no disrespect to the actor, but that's a backpfeifengesicht if I've ever seen one

(Backpfeifengesicht: "German compound word for a 'face that should be slapped'. Ex:. When GWB smirks on TV, my German friend Uwe tells me that he sees a 'Backpfeifengesicht'." Urban dictionary)

He went to burial mount after wwx was killed??? 🥺🥺🥺

I've noticed something with lwj. When he's distressed, he won't look people in the eye or not even at their faces, just in their very general direction. To me it seems like he almost... can't? Any thoughts on that? Cause I'm intrigued but I can't think about it too much right now cause I'm already writing half an essay in this commentary again 😅

Oh fuck YOU Jiggy!!!

Holy shit ... holy shit

Lan Wangji 🥺🥺🥺

He fought against everyone?

This is how he showed his grieve???

He went to the place wei Wuxian had called home and ... what? Protected or ot so they wouldn't desecrate it? To search for him? To ... what?

Oh god, Wangji! 😭

That image... I'm speechless. It's so powerful

He's half-mad with grieve and kneeling in the ruins of his dead loves home, having fought himself to exhaustion and I'm... not okay 😭😭😭

He had to repent for THREE YEARS??

Oh no, you don't

Holy ...

Holy shit

How can my heart break and be so full at the same time 💔🥺

Lan Wangji ... my love

I'm ... so proud of him and yet so sad

Here he is at his lowest, finally standing up to the orthodoxy he knows to be wrong

This is inhumane 😳

The corporal punishment of the lan sect always was but THIS

Fuck them

Or Lan Qiren specifically

That's his nephew. How can he even look at himself?

"Eradicate evil. Establish laws. Than goodness will be everlasting."

IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY!!!

WHAT EVEN IS "GOODNESS"? WHOSE VERSION OF GOODNESS? DEVINE EVIL! HOW FAR REACHING INTO THE PRIVATE SVERE SHOULD THUSE LAWS BE? DOES IT STOP AT "DON'T STEAL FROM PEOPLE OR AT "DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE AT DINNER"?

what I'm saying is: there are about 200 ethical question ls being raised by this rule alone!

And now lan Wangji had 3 tears to contemplate them

Wwx asking "why would he bother ...?" BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!

Ohhh! We're getting their parents' story 😱

Oh this IS a Lan episode 💙

So another Lan falling quickly and never looking back?

I'm sensing a pattern here 🤨

Wait what?

Let me get this straight:

Their father loved a woman who DID NOT love him back and then killed one of his teachers

(And I hope we find out why. That sounds like there is a REALLY interesting story there)

Then he takes her to cloud recess and DESPIT HER NOT LOVING HIM, marries her, fathers two children with her (um... how voluntary was that????) locks her up (as punishment for the murder?) then locks HIMSELF up and then fucks of and leaves his children with their uncle

What kind of disaster human being was their dad????

Did he do the right thing WHEN HE MARRIED AND PROBABLY RAPED A WOMAN WHO DIDN'T LOVE HIM???

NO!!!

The fuck kinda question is that ??

If you have to marry her against her will and then lock her up, guess what? That's not love, that's wanting to possess someone

I hope that maybe the connotation is different in the og Chinese,but I'm not holding out much hope

That explains why Qiren is such a lovely character through 😒

But god, my heart breaks for lwj and lxc :'(

Little Lan Wangji!!! 🥺🥺🥺

Oh darling ...

Oh no ...

Look at him look at his crooked little headband😭😭😭

He went there every month!!!

Oh Wangji 💔💔

Stubborn, steadfast, loving Wangji!

That seals it. I KNEW why he was my favourite character

He isn't so passive all the time, because he feels too little! He feels entirely too much!!! 😭😭😭

And that explains why lwj was so worried about wwx's demonic cultivation harming him!!! 😭

Oh god, it was such an old hurt for him. I had no idea 🥺🥺🥺

All of these characters need a therapist

Lxc playing the flute to what ... deal with his emotions? Express his grieve? Remeber their mother? (And god, do I want to know more about her!!) Either way, It's making me tear up 😥

"It's so difficult to determine others personalities depending on our perspective." Welcome to the human condition, my friend 💙

And that's love

I ... wish I could show you my face right now

I'm smiling through tears right now

It's so utterly beautiful

He looks so vulnerable here! With his hair (almost) down

And given what we've just learned, that's remarkable!!!

He closed himself off became the immovable stone-faced second Jade of Lan and yet, somehow, wwx wormed his way into his heart and sure, both of them needed to overcome a lot, but here they are, vulnerable and open,not letting their parent's fate decide theirs

I'm... *sniff*

I can never get enough of lwj with his hair like this!!

It's so domestic, so soft

And look at his face! 😭

And mister "alcohol is prohibited" is now serving it 😭

Oh my god this scene is so beautiful

I'm speechless

Was the second flute Jin Guangyao as well?

At this point I'm just expecting more plot-twists

He looks so young! 🥺

Both of them are exhibiting so much growth in this episode!! Wwx realising that the fact that the cultivation world had always looked for a scapegoat and that he himself was just the most convenient target, that it's not to any personal failing of his, that's HUGE!

And I'm so proud of him :')

Lwj starting to play in the distance :')

This is so utterly peaceful

My heart is bursting 😭😭😭

The music, the scenery ...

Also, both thinking they have a clean conscious!!! 😭😭😭

Again, it's them holding the same morals that's important! I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

(But wwx still cannot drink like a normal person :D)

The contrast to lxc sitting alone couldn't be starker 😔

Wait, why are there puppets at burial mounds again?

Are we going back to burial mounds? I'm weirdly excited 😅

Aaand Jin Guangyao just proved to them that he's lying. Poor Xichen

Yup, I'm pretty sure his heart just snapped in half

Little Apple!!! I've missed him 😁

Gosh, they're laying it on thick with the domestic husband bliss this episode and I'm here for it.

I love lwj's soft smile when he looks at bunnies so much!! 🥰

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere

It's the invasion of the bunnies

Who ever is the show runner *banging pots and pans together* IT'S GAY!! cab you all hear me? These two love each other! It's G - A - Y!!! Gay!!!

Probably

Lwj's shocked look when wwx says that he's not popular with little animals, as if to say "how dare they!" :D

Holy shit ... HOW MANY SCENES CAN THEY INCLUDE IN THIS EPISODE THAT MAKE THEM LOOK SO GODDAMN MARRIED???

Is wwx sitting side saddle?

Wwx plays wangxian :')

He finally remembers how lwj recognized him :')

Sneaky, show, very sneaky :D

Wwx about to casually steal some melons, lwj *wordlessly takes out money* ^^

MIANMIAN!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

I'd given up hope that we'd see her again!!!

I'm so happy I could burst!!!

Lwj's little exasperated head-shake before he stands up from crouching behind some hay 😂

Aww, look at her family! 😍😍😍

She build her own live :')

And look at this badass woman protecting the ones she loves!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WEI WUXIAN??? You don't remember her???

You better remember my wife!!!

Aaand another freeze frame. But I'm willing to forgive it because THIS EPISODE WAS SO GODDAMN BRILLIANT!

It made me realise why I was so drawn to lan Wangji as a character. Of course he is mu favourite character! He ticks every single box

Let me explain. My favourite characters almost always share the following characteristics: seems either cold and distant or ethereal and aloof, as if they are above such puny human things like feelings™️(bonus if they're actually not human and their argument is "I'm [insert species]. We can't feel [insert emotion they are definetly feeling very strongly]"). then, over the course of the story, we (along with they themselves because they were in denial) discover that it's not that they feel too little, they feel entirely too much. They're a sea of emotions so deep that the surface is calm, but don't you dare be near them when the storm is coming because all hell will break loose. (extra bonus point if that storm involves them rebelling against the oppressive society they were born into and adhered to until then because they realise their consciousness won't allow it any longer.) afterwards they realise that making themselves vulnerable once in a while is actually a good thing and they proceed to fuck the Rebel™️ who they've secretly been in love with the entire time, a feeling they only now allow themselves to act on

The last part sadly isn't always canon, but who has ever had time for that?

You know what this episode made me realise most of all? The Lan sect are just as human as the rest of them. In fact, they seem to be especially prone to acting rashly on strong emotions. (I don't remember the exact story, but didn't the founder of the Lan sect also have some kind of tragic love story?) It should be obvious, but the impression you get is that they are so detached from their wants, so rigorous and disciplined in their righteousness, that they are almost super-human. But no. Thise 3000 and some rules? They weren't born out of some enlightened mind that had the secret of live figures out, they're a crutch. Abiding by them without question rids one of responsibility to make even the tiniest moral choice for oneself. But that won't work because a) they're bounty to contradict each other at some point and b) that's not how human beings work. They're messy and unpredictable and beautifully complicated. The way Lan Qiren choses to apply them, he completely disregards that. At that point, the rules aren't there anymore to grant a harmonious society, but simply for their own sake. (Or maybe as a wall to hide behind)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

I think this liveblog has been the longest so far. I'm sorry for going on so many tangents, but lwj's backstory hit me really hard. I hope you guys weren't too bored 💚

(I also apologise for the mountains of typos that probably accumulated in this post. I'm too tired to check.)

#the untamed #sophie watches the untamed #the untamed liveblog #wei wuxian #wwx #lan wangji #lwj #wangxian #lan xichen #jin guangyao #luo qingyang #mianmian #tw: rape mention #i just realized that I should tag that #although i still hope i misunderstood #don't think i did though :/

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coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe · 2 years

Text

Superheroes with Secrets: Sprogling (Fic part 87) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts

Tags: @piratewithvigor

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

Notes: The story is set in 2001, which would make Helms 27 and Kirby 31. This story also blends Kayfabe and Reality. Certain people speak in different colours, Mainly: Helms is Green. Kirby is Orange. Kane is Red. Undertaker is Purple. Big Show is Blue.

Other members of the BSK are also in purple.

Other women are in Pink.

DX Members are also in Green.

"Think every baby does that to their mom."

"You say that, I've seen some mothers hate their children, first look at their fucking sprogling and it's 'eww, no, that's not my child' when it clearly is." Kirby murmurs.

"But they all make them emotional messes during pregnancy."

"Probably did, but if they rejected their sprogling, then their bad mothers for not accepting their child the way they were made. The way God intended them to look."

"That's how some mothers are..."

"I don't plan on being one of them, I plan on being kind and caring and loving. I will not reject my children ... my child... my potential baby."

"Thank you." He whispers.

"I would never, and will never reject any of our potential children, no matter what happens or how they look."

"I need you to swear that... imagining our kids going through what I did is too much for me."

"Shane, I promise you, I will love our children and never reject them, nothing could make me love them any less than I love you or any less than André loved me..." Kirby takes a deep breath in, "dad would have loved them so much." Kirby whispers, wiping away a few tears.

"That's what every parent thinks... and then they decide that a couple piercings and an accident is worth losing their child to."

"Look at me, Shane, take all of it in, the tattoos, the piercings, everything. I will love our children unconditionally, forever."

"Holding you to that."

"Feel free to, because it's true, now, you wanna go anywhere in particular, daddy?" Kirby asks gently, kissing him softly before sitting back.

"Thinking maybe somewhere kind of relaxing. Know where there's a pool around?"

"I could take you to the beach I did the photoshoot at." Kirby offers.

"Oh man, that does sound nice."

Kirby smirks as she starts driving them to the beach the photoshoot took place at, the journey takes about ten minutes before they get there.

"Gosh, this place really is nice."

"It felt so bad being away from you all day, Shane," Kirby parks the car and gets out, grabbing her bag from the seat behind her, "babe, should we put the back seats down, get a little more room in the car?"

"I mean, we've got all this space now; why not?"

"Good point," Kirby puts the back seats down, sliding them forward to get more space in the back, "so, Hon," Kirby says as she closes the boot and locks the car, "we can do anything we want here, all day."

"Mm, damn right we can."

"So, mon mari, my Hurricane of a husband, my heroic badass, what do you wanna do with me?" Kirby asks, not realizing how dirty the question sounds.

"We're on a private beach, just the two of us... think I wanna screw your brains out and then go skinny dipping."

"Uh, oh, well I uh," Kirby stutters, her face bright red

"C'mon, no one's around." He grins.

"I wasn't objecting to the idea, I've never had sex in such a public but private place before." Kirby explains, trying not to stumble or stutter over her words.

"You can today if you wanna."

"Yes ... please, Shane." Kirby whispers, pulling Helms into a gentle kiss.

"Good. Strip down for me?"

"I'd rather you rip my clothes off me, Hero." Kirby purrs.

"Or I could just pull your skirt up and fuck you senseless."

"You could, do you want me to lay down for you, mon sauvage?"

"Yes please."

Kirby obliges, laying down on the beach, she's already slightly wet at the idea of Helms dominating her. He pushes her skirt up to her hips and pulls her panties to the side, practically examining her pussy.

"You okay there, Sherlock?" Kirby jokes.

"Just looking over the most perfect little pussy on the planet. Thinking of how best to use it."

Kirby smirks as she gets comfy, incredibly tempted to start playing with her clit.

"What do you think I should do?" He chuckles.

"Something, before I get myself off." Kirby half-jokes.

"Mm, how about this?" He smirks, bending down to start licking her ravenously.

Kirby moans in response, "oh fuck, Shane, yes."

"Mm, that's my good girl."

Kirby goes to play with her clit, wanting more pleasure in any way possible.

"Mm, you need it even more than this?"

"Yes, please, don't hold back." Kirby almost begs.

"Take my pants off."

"Yes, sir." Kirby murmurs as she complies with his request.

"Good girl. Remember the safe word?"

"Yes, sir." Kirby nods.

"Good." He slides into her quickly and easily.

Kirby moans in response, biting her lip to quiet her sounds of pleasure.

"Ain't anyone around, babygirl. Scream all you please." He smirks.

"Don't want to risk it." Kirby murmurs.

"You sure?"

Kirby nods in response.

"Then kiss me when you feel like screaming."

Kirby pulls Helms into a heated kiss, weaving one hand into his hair. He kisses her back as he begins to up the pace hard.

Kirby pulls away just as he starts going a bit to hard and fast for her, "lilies, Shane." She whispers.

He backs away and pulls out immediately. "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Oww, fuck. Fucking muscle cramp in my thigh." Kirby murmurs.

"Need a massage on it?"

"No, it's alright, I just need a break, to breathe and walk it off."

"Okay, whatever you need."

Kirby sorts herself out and struggles to find her feet, her legs trembling slightly as she stands up. Helms watches her cautiously, not staying more than a few steps away. Kirby limps a little before putting more weight on her weaker leg, grabbing her bag and rifling through it to find some pain meds.

"Do you need to head back to the hotel?"

"No, I'm fine, just need to soothe the pain in my legs, It's a giant thing, you probably wouldn't understand." Kirby murmurs as she finds the orange pill bottle.

"Comes from growing too fast, I know."

"End up getting fucked up knees because your legs can't take the stress, if left untreated eventually being a giant kills ya, if I didn't have corrective treatment, I would have around nine years left to live." Kirby explains.

"Read about that too..." he murmurs, looking away.

"Giants don't usually get to live long, the part of the brain that develops growth hormones is the same part that develops reproductive hormones, so most giants don't have kids or don't have a lot of kids."

"That's why this baby is so damn special."

"Yeah, I guess you're right, I may be a giant, but I'm a pregnant giant." Kirby half-jokes.

"Exactly. There's more normal in you than you think."

"You know, I've never considered it that way, always thought I was weird, kept trying to convince myself that weird is good."

"It is. But when you call yourself weird, or anything that makes you feel different from a regular person, you just push yourself away from people."

"Shane, I've always done that, every single day before I met you, I thought I was a freak of nature who didn't deserve to feel human." Kirby explains, looking away from Helms.

"And you shouldn't anymore. For the sake of your own mind." He pauses a little. "What if our kid turns out to be a giant, would you want them hating themselves?"

"I don't want them to go through that pain, the bullying and the torture, not without knowing that I love them, I don't want them to feel like a freak." Kirby whispers.

"Then set the example. To teach them that giants are worthy of just as much love and compassion as anyone else, teach them self-love first. Show that by loving yourself."

"Shane ... I ... I don't know how to do that." Kirby admits softly.

"Then learn. For the sake of our baby, let me help you learn to love yourself as much as I love you."

"Alright, I will let you teach me to love me." Kirby looks at Helms, it's clear she's moments away from crying.

He pulls her into the tightest hug he can muster, caressing the back of her head gently.

Kirby hugs him back, kissing his neck softly and whispers, "Shane, I'm gonna try and be a better person, for the baby mostly, but also for you."

"Don't exclude yourself from that list. Do this for you too."

"I'll do it for me as well, I love you and the baby, and I want to love me. I want to be as normal as I can, I know it's technically impossible, but I want to try."

"That's what I like to hear."

Kirby pulls away to look Helms in the eyes, "Je t'aime, mon mari, mon seul et unique."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Above all others."

"From now on, it's gonna be you and me ... and the baby." Kirby murmurs, still a little nervous about the life growing inside her.

"That's right. Our little family all together."

Kirby pulls Helms into a heated kiss, "I still can't believe we're gonna be parents." Kirby whispers against his lips.

"Neither can I. It's going to be incredible."

"Until then however, we have work to do, and tag team stuff to sort out."

"It's probably not safe to wrestle pregnant, is it?"

"Not at all, but only a few people know I'm pregnant and Molly goes easy on me anyway because she's scared of angering me."

"We'll have to tell Vince to work something out. Maybe have you get fake-injured in the ring. Takes you out of commission for a couple months. Maybe a fake broken leg."

"Shane, I will be fine for the next few weeks, just long enough for the tournament." Kirby reassures.

"You sure?"

"Shane, it's me, I've proved myself the female locker room leader, I'm tougher than I look."

"It's not just your life you're responsible for now."

"Do I look pregnant? No, I don't, please Shane, let me do my job, it's the only thing I know."

"I'm not stopping you from it. I just want you to be more careful. Hits that may not hurt you too much may hurt the baby a lot."

"Then I'll be as careful as possible. I just want to do my work, Shane, I love you, alright, I won't do anything to hurt the baby, if I feel like I can't do something then I'll tell you."

"Thank you. That's all I want."

Kirby opens the car door, sitting in the driver's seat but not wanting to leave, "Shane, I'm not gonna be as insane as Jeff, alright, I may be a blonde weirdo, but I'm not as insane as a Hardy."

"I trust you on that."

Kirby smirks as she looks at Helms, "you worry about me so much, but, more pressing matters, what do we do, as in tag team shit, do we enter together, separate? Do we use your music or mine?"

"Together for sure. And I wouldn't mind using your music."

"Or, secret third option, we enter together with a completely new song?" Kirby asks gently.

"Think we could rustle up a new song in under a day?"

"I forget you don't know all the family tricks, my Aunt, Ata Johnson, Dewey's mother, she's an amazing singer and songwriter, we call her, ask her advice, go from there."

"Let's call her up." He grins.

Kirby calls Ata, putting her phone on speakerphone, "Hi Auntie Ata, it's Kirby, I'm here with my husband Shane, we need your advice."

"Aloha my baby, and welcome to our Ohana, Shane, what do you two need?"

"Well, we're starting as a tag team tomorrow night and we were wondering if you could rustle us up a new theme to share."

"Ooh, why don't you go for something that has an upbeat vibe, something that makes the crowd jam out with you?" Ata suggests.

"I was thinking something the same. Want to get them pumped for us."

#Kirby Roussimoff #Shane Hurricane Helms #Blacklight Bandit #Orange and green - the perfect team #Superheroes with Secrets

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