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#so I guess me deactivating this blog is final now
lavender--fairy · 1 year
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HEYY FAIRY!! I DID IT !! I MANIFESTED MY DESIRED FACE!!! okay i really wanna go in depth with this ask since i finally manifested my desired face. So i followed you just because you mentioned about how you manifested your df and i've tried and failed so many times its actually crazy. When i started i would affirm day and night (failed),tried self concept (failed), then i tried to enter the void (failed), tried shifting to a reality where i had my df (failed) and then you started posting edward art stuff and i am not even lying when i say it freed me in ways i didn't know i could be freed, i read all your posts and infact i would eagerly wait for your next post, i'd keep refreshing your blog in hopes that maybe you'd post and when you did i'd read it a thousand times ( i even have all your posts written in my notes just in case you decide to deactivate lol fan girl behaviour? yes) Anyways so i read your "be a doer" post and i decided to actually feel that i was who i wanted to be instead of thinking of it, it lasted a few days but i kept pulling myself back up since my college starts soon and i just cannot go looking and feeling the way i used to, so there was this burning desire to have what i wanted unlike any time before. But i had a hard time persisting and i figured out it was because i wasn't imagining what i want and because i kept switching my df like every other day (i got this from the "feeling and self" post you linked from edward art) so i took my time to figure out a face i loved and when i tell you it got so easy to persist (because i was imagining what i always wanted and it felt so nice that i naturally wanted to keep going back to feeling it) i did have a few doubts here and there but i read your posts and edward art's posts and i'd be back on track. There were alot of things that would bother me like 3d, the future, the past but when i imagined all of this didn't matter, i had my df right here and right now (i also manifested other stuff to build faith that the 3d will reflect no matter what, especially when i had thoughts like "what if it doesn't work?") nothing changed for a few days but i was busy imagining another thing that i did was i was trying to fix my appearance like instead of imaging my new face i'd imagine how i could fix my current appearance but i realized i dont have to do that, i can imagine a completely new face, a face that i loved and felt confident in. AND TODAY I WOKE UP WITH MY DESIRED FACE, I WAS SO SURPRISED LIKE OUT OF NO WHERE??? I LOVE WHEN THE LAW SURPRISES ME LIKE YESTER-NIGHT I WOULDNT HAVE EVEN GUESSED LIKE WTFFF?? UGH I LOVE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW I AM LITERALLY DANCING IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOWWW!! i dont have to be insecure and hide when someone points a camera at me ?? i am being treated better?? i am soo soo confident and sooo ready for college !! Thank you so much fairy i can feel warm tears roll over my cheek as i write this, i couldn't have done this without you thank you for freeing me, i will always and forever love you !! thank you
hey butterbean!! wow wow wow this is just amazing honey and your journey feels so close to my heart. I just cannot express how happy i am for you!! So so so proud of you that you did not give up!! i hope your life is full of joy !! sending love!!
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hovershiplogos · 2 months
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Guess who's doing rewatches again? It's me, and well, not entirely a rewatch:
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Yes, that's right, it's Enter the Matrix. Because it's criminal that for a blog named for the little ship that could, I've haven't actually done a deep dive on the game itself! So I'm going to fix that!
I'm also going to play through as both Niobe and Ghost, as depending on who you're playing, the missions play out slightly different, and the cutscene dialogue varies as well. Also, not going to do like a  blow by blow kinda thing. Only going to comment on things that caught my  interest, or seem rather amusing to me.  If you want a little more context, I suggest checking out the couple of playthroughs/cut scene compilations on youtube.
Also of note, the game picks up right after the Animatrix short Final Flight of the Osiris.
Anyway, let's get to it!
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AND IT'S THE MAIN REASON I'M STILL HERE, BECAUSE OF THIS PESSIMISTIC SNARKY COWARD RIGHT HERE. And he's self aware about it as well.
Also interesting to note is that according to this cutscene, Sparks has been operating on board the Logos for 3 years. Now, a standard US navy tour of duty (and I'm going with Navy rather than Army as Zion's army is referred to as a Navy fleet) is between 2-3 years. Not really going anywhere with this, but it's interesting to note.
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Niobe is a 'my way or the highway' kinda person. No wonder it didn't work between her and Morpheus. It's also telling that Ghost has known Niobe for long enough to know that this is what she's like. I wonder if Ghost is the glue in this ship dynamic? As in, he knew Niobe and Sparks separately before they knew each other, if that makes sense?
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And it's the little hovership that could, the little lightning bug of the fleet! Those red lights on the ship look like they're the same as the ones on the sentinels. I wonder if a bulb blows or something they scavenge one from a deactivated squiddie as a replacement?
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It's not particularly clear, but I never realised that Niobe's hair is tied with what looks like string with gold in it? Maybe a metal band with gold on it? I'm not sure, but it's pretty!
Also, I appreciate that they give a reason why Niobe is going after this drop, rather than waiting for someone else (ie: Neo) to go get it.
Also, saying are you red or blue on this is a very cool in universe way of saying are you with me or not?
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The subtitles are missing here, but what he says:
"You know me Niobe. It's not a choice, it's a way of life."
Ghost, you're awesome, you know that, right?
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I get Sparks' complaint here, there are only two of them, and it would be a lot safer to wait for back up to help them out. But nope, you know what Niobe's like, get it done.
Also, as I remarked earlier, the fact that Niobe is willing to risk going in without support , especially given what she says about Thaddeus not using the drops unless he had no choice? And now they're all dead? They definitely need to get that package before the agents do.
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I personally love Niobe's little eye roll here.
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I also love that Ghost is more chill and amused by Sparks than exasperated like Niobe is. Yeah, Ghost is the glue holding the team together.
Also, a little mention of Zion funerary practices. As someone pointed out to me years ago, I suspect that the gardens is similar to the Exodus fleet's method of burial, but who knows?
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Yup, words to live by!
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Once again, Niobe is rolling her eyes behind the sunnies. This is what she has to put up with. Also, I would love to think that one time Sparks pranked Ghost by running some program that sent his guns soaring upward.
I always used to think that Ghost was the serious, no nonsense one in the crew, but I'm beginning to think I'm wrong on that front.
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Sparks, why do you want his boots? They're too small for your big feet!
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Niobe has great taste in old muscle cars. Good old 1967 Pontiac Firebird, in eggplant purple instead of black. Very stylish!
That's all for now, next up will be the post office. See you then!
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gimmehyuck · 2 years
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feels like home | n.jm
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summary. inspired by nice to have a friend, by taylor swift. that’s it, really.
pairing. jaemin x reader
genre. childhood friends to lovers bc i’m a sucker for that shit, fluff!!! mutual feelings, the usual
word count. 2.2k
warnings. mildly, mildly, suggestive at the very end if you squint really, really, really hard.
a/n: i previously posted this on my other blog, pocketfullofhaechan, before it was deactivated. minor edits/additions.
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"hey, you awake?" jaemin’s whispered voice broke through the silence suddenly that night, rousing you from near sleep. not that the chirping cicadas had let you actually fall asleep.
you rolled over on your side to face him, resting your head on your folded arm. it was dark in the tent, nearing midnight you were sure but it didn’t stop you from seeing the outline of his face as he was laying on his back, hands tucked behind his head, staring up at the night sky through the clear plastic roofing. nights like this were your favorites, it had been a tradition you two had started in elementary school. 
it was always the weekend before school started again, you would pitch a tent in the backyard, either his or yours since you were next door neighbors, and just stay out there. sometimes it would be a group thing, with several others joining in on the campfire and outdoors sleeping. 
you’d never forget the time jisung almost tripped into the fire, you barely grabbing his jacket in time to yank him back from getting burnt. he was so grateful to you that he refused to let you sleep in anyone’s tent but his. 
nor the time donghyuck swore he heard a bear in the treeline of your yard, and everyone ended up in your one tent you usually shared with jaemin. even after discovering it was the neighborhood cat, donghyuck wouldn’t hear of it and insisted on sleeping in one space. that was also the year you found out jeno snored the loudest of them all; you were absolutely it would scare away any bear.
this time though, it was just you and jaemin. it was the year before your junior year, and surprisingly enough, your parents trusted you enough to be out there alone. you guessed it was because you had been friends for so long, or that who’s were adults now technically… or probably, they just didn’t care. 
“what’s up?” you asked as you watched him for a moment while he gathered together whatever it was he wanted to say.
“you remember that time in the third grade when you lost your gloves on the bus ride home?” his voice was deeper, as he talked softly, a bit raspy from lack of use for the past couple of hours.
you let out a small laugh in answer, “yeah, you got so upset with me, and then called me, and i quote, ‘the biggest dummy you had ever met, and you knew donghyuck’, but then you ended up giving me one of yours.” 
you watched as he smiled at the memory, a soft laugh sounding deep in his chest, and he continued for you, “and then i held your hand, didn’t i? i was sweet to you.”
“no, and then you held my other hand so it wouldn’t ‘get all blue and fall off’.” you quoted again with a slight mocking tone, pretending to be annoyed at his child-self being the hero but still happy in the memory that solidified your friendship.
when you opened your eyes again, he was looking at you, in a look that was, unbeknownst to you, full of adoration. instead, you leaned away from the sudden stare, “what is it?” you looked over your shoulder dramatically before raising an eyebrow at him.
“nothing,” he said, shaking his head, a genuine smile on his face, “i’m just really glad to have you.”
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you sat on top of his roof during the summer break before your final year of college began where you had both decided to go home for a week to visit your parents before heading back.
you had your knees drawn up to your chest; jaemin was sat a little further back than you leaning back on his hands. you watched the skyline absentmindedly, admiring as the sky turned from orange, to pink, then purples, and he… simply watched you. you felt his foot tap against your side, before he suddenly spoke, breaking the comfortable silence.
“what are you thinking about over there?” he asked playfully, rolling his head to one shoulder. you didn’t answer for a moment, mind jumping from one subject to another.
you wanted to be honest and tell him things like you used to be able to years ago without fear of anything changing.
you wanted to tell him about your fears for the next year.
about your worries for him and his classes.
but most of all, about your feelings that you had yet been able to shake off no matter how hard you tried.
you said none of that, though. 
instead, turning to look over your shoulder at him, you said, “do you remember that time in high school when you almost got into a fight for me?”
his eyes caught yours and his eyebrows drew together. he nodded slowly, unsure of where this was going, “the only time i’ve ever been angry enough to hit someone. why?”
“i was just thinking about how upset i was with you after that.” you shrugged.
“you know, i’ve always wondered why it took you two days to talk to me afterwards. i thought you were mad at me, or that i had scared you, or something.” he grumbled, a small pout on his lips as he recalled the two longest days of radio silence, and the fear that had gripped his heart at the idea of it being permanent.
“no,” a soft smile reaching your eyes as you shook your head, “you could never scare me. i was mostly upset that you could have gotten hurt because of me, and i had to deal with the guilt of that.” his mouth fell open in a huff for a moment before he shrugged.
“those guys were dicks, should have kept their arms to themselves. and besides, there isn’t anything i wouldn’t do for you.” the words flowed from his mouth easily,
as if it didn’t make your heart jump in your throat,
as if it didn’t make your brain screech to a halt,
as if your entire body didn’t freeze at the ease of which he said it. 
you were unsure how to respond, so you waited until everything in you started working properly again. then deciding to be a little bold, you scooted back slightly to sit beside him, and placed your hand on top of his. you were actively avoiding eye contact by looking down at his fingers next to yours, and so you missed how quickly his head whipped to look at you, eyes going wide at the sudden gentle touch you initiated.
his breath caught and he tried to play it off as if he were simply clearing his throat.
“i never said this then, but thank you. i always have been, and always will be grateful to have you in my life.” and then deciding you may have said too much, too soon, or just chickening out again, you brushed it off by scoffing a little and continuing with, “i just hope i never have to have a man defend my honor again.”
he sat up straighter at that comment, bumping his shoulder against yours indignantly. “hey! that offends me!” he said playfully. you noticed with a slight pang in your heart that his eyes were sparkling. “i’m not just any man! i’m the na jaemin, that alone should count for something!” you only rolled your eyes at his antics, not asking him how could he not know that it was the only thing that counted to you? 
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jaemin called your name from the other side of the hotel suite you were staying at three times before you finally decided to make your way from the patio where you were sitting to the bedroom where he was. you walked in and leaned against the door frame, crossing your arms over your chest.
“yeah, you summoned me?” you asked.
he was propped up on half the pillows that were on the bed, leaning slightly against the headboard with one arm tucked behind his head.
you couldn’t help but admire him, the loose t-shirt he wore vastly different from the suit and tie he had on the night before at your wedding.
“what are you, beetlejuice?” he asked sarcastically. you smirked at that, and then his phone was suddenly in his hand as he took a quick candid photo of you. you rolled your eyes at his antics, though used to this by now. you leapt on the edge of the bed, jostling him slightly.
you crawled over to sit next to him, touching his wrist so he’d turn his hand to show you the photo. he always knew how to take photos of you that flattered you. it was a little blurry around the edges but he still caught your lips in a half smile.
“aren’t you just breathtaking?” he asked, showing you as he set the picture as his home screen on his phone.
again, you rolled your eyes, pushing him slightly. “shut up, you’re just happy to see me in your shirt.”
“that is… not a lie. but neither is the fact that you are, without a doubt, breathtaking.” he grinned and rolled his neck up to look at you closely.
you huffed jokingly, “what did you need me for, jaem?” your eyes tracked his, as his eyes trailed slowly over your face.
he didn’t respond for a long moment, then finally, “do you remember the night that i first told you i loved you?”
ah, you knew where this was going. but you feigned ignorance for once, and shook your head while snorting. “hardly, care to tell me about how it happened? i don’t think i was there for this moment,” you teased him with a grin.
he put his phone down, and scooted down a little further so he was laying fully on his back. he opened his arms, inviting you inside them to lay with him.
your head rested on his chest comfortably, throwing your arms around his torso in a loose hug. he played with your hair as he began retelling the events of that night, and you angled your face to watch him as he talked, hearing his voice in his chest as he spoke, the timbre soothing you.
“since someone can’t remember a monumental moment in our history, let me tell you what happened.” you rolled your eyes dramatically but nodded anyway.
“I’m listening,” you said softly.
“i remember how you had looked that night at the bar, you looked absolutely beautiful, as always i should add, but there was something about you in the neon light from the bar sign that left me speechless.”
he paused looking down at you, and winking before carrying on, “and it may not sound that romantic to you, but it was to me. you know how they say everyone gets a magical movie moment at least once in their lifetime? but i remember thinking that ever since i’ve met you, it’s been one moment after another. like, i would have been eternally grateful for just your friendship alone, you know? because your kindness always made me want to be a better person, it still does, but when you looked at me that night, i knew in that moment, if i never told you that holding your hand that day in the third grade was the beginning of my feelings for you, that i’d regret it for the rest of my life.”
you feigned a gasp, “then what did you do?”
“well, i took a shot first, because i was scared out of my mind, but then i walked right over to where you had been waiting for me to show up. you had this look of happiness on your face, and i just blurted it out. i think it came off as ‘love with you, i am in’, like i was yoda or something, and it definitely came off as one long word but you knew immediately what i had said.”
“i did?!” you faked a gasp dramatically, “and what did i say next?”
he stopped playing with your hair and said, “then you just got up and left me there at the bar. all by myself. i cried in my beer that night like a sad country song.”
you shot up at that, leaning over him slightly on your elbow, the offense you felt just as teasing as his smile. “that is not what happened. like, at all!”
“it’s not? then tell me,” he leaned up a little, inches from your face, then he smirked as he looked between your eyes to your lips and back. “how did it go next?”
“i specifically remember saying, ‘i fell in love with you first, babe’.” you said in an exaggerated pout. smiling, jaemin brought his hand up to your cheek, then rubbed his thumb against your bottom lip causing you to smile at the gentleness of the touch.
he tugged you closer, sealing the small gap he had created and kissed you, his lips as soft as his thumb was, hands moving to cradle your face. you rested your cheeks in his palms as he pulled away just far enough so could look at you.
“yes, i think i remember you saying that now,” he whispered, eyes on only you. and you could only stare at him in return, mind trailing off to feel thankful for that missing glove all those years ago.
jaemin’s voice brought you back to the present when his thumb rubbed across your check.
“but care to remind me what happened after that?” and the smirk was instant for the both of you.
“better yet,” you said and leaned forward, centimeters from his lips. “i can show you.”
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garoujo · 1 year
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MY FINAL MESSAGE TO MY TUMBLR HARASSER :
hi ! as you guys have probably seen on dash, in tags, in your inbox there is an anon + a blog @/ffflowers going out of their way to not only spread lies but also to completely try everything in their power to harass and ‘expose’ me.
if you’ve had them in your asks or seen their posts you would’ve seen a link to a callout post from 2021 regarding a conversation that took place on an old blog of mine. their agenda with this callout post is to ‘prove’ that i apparently ignored this completely and got ‘run off’ tumblr without taking any sort of accountability for what was said or making any sort of apology.
this is not true, back in 2021 i took and still take full accountability for what i said and have never denied it, i made 3/4 separate apologies at that time, one of which was my pinned post for around a week and have continued to grow and do better as a writer and as a person since.
this particular discourse was resolved at that time, i never avoided confrontation and admitted i was in the wrong because i was, i was caught off guard and panicked with a topic that i felt intimidated by — i apologise and take accountability for my own ignorance.
while on the subject of this discourse post, i’d just like to prove my statement in this post where i said this particular situation was not what drove me to leave tumblr temporarily— this can be proven by these screenshots. as you can see, the callout post was dated on the 8th of June 2021.
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like i said again in my previous post about this, this did not drive me off of tumblr — i owned up to everything i said, even went back to tag every post regarding the discourse so people could read through and make their own opinion — i did not run from this. i continued to write on this blog for months after this discourse which can be proven by the literal date in which it says my blog deactivated at the top — 20th of October 2021. almost 5 months after the callout post. either i’m a slow runner or my statement is correct. again, this was 2 years ago and this person has harassed me ever since.
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but while i’m on the topic, the reason i actually left that blog was due to the anon who is continuing to harass me now. i received consistent and constant death threats by the same anon for months, following the same pattern — when i stopped posting their asks, they then decided to try a different approach. they began to force themselves into other peoples safe spaces to tell them they “couldn’t write certain characters because i selfshipped with them and they belonged to me” before going on to send those creators hate and death threats under the guise that i sent them — also not true.
i left tumblr for my own safety, this anon has my private and personal details, my social media and my face reveals but i refuse to let them ruin my safe space for me again. they’ve began to add more to their stories with sudden plagiarism and ‘black fishing’ being suddenly mentioned into their posts which is again absolutely not true, my guess is their current posts weren’t getting as much attention as they expected and they had to make it a little more eye catching.
they’ve also been consistently sending me anon asks hoping to bring relevance to the situation by urging me to post about it, they will send me hate before deciding to try and pretend to be another, nicer anon urging me to ‘hear my side of the story’ or showering me in compliments about how they ‘need an explanation because they know i’m too nice for that’ again, it’s obvious it’s them since they go back to being horrible when they’re ignored, and quite frankly it’s terrifying the lengths they’ll go to harass and manipulate me.
this morning while i was at work i had received an anon urging me to do that exact thing, to talk about the discourse, they sent me consistent asks until i made my post talking about how i will no longer be mentioning it on dash, they then sent me another nastier ask immediately after before then going to post on their blog @/ffflowers almost immediately after that.
also this is part two of them harassing me here and the reason i left my last nsfw blog + them doing the exact same thing they’re doing now, they have a pattern — they will wait a few months before bringing themselves back into my inbox, when their hate asks to me are left unanswered then they play their way into other peoples inboxes hoping they will post + bring attention to the ‘discourse’ they are trying to spread. also another post i’ve made about this situation lastnight here.
they’ve become increasingly more angry and violent the longer they’ve been with me, i’ve been doxxed, threatened, consistently told to die and kms + had my character ripped to shreds on a site where i simply post writing for fun. i apologise to anyone who’s been dragged into this or harassed by this person, they are nasty and this probably won’t be the end of them either — but i refuse to let them drive me off of this app again.
i’ll be taking a small break for a few days to calm down, anon will remain off so they can’t contact me because at this moment i don’t feel safe and will be laying low on my personal acc for a while until i feel better. i apologise again for everything, the posts and my actions included, but i have no secrets.
emmie <3
RETURN TO NAVIGATION
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You may not be interested in this but i just don’t understand who to share with, I’ve been a larrie for more than 4 years now & in the fandom and truly believed HL are together and everything else was smoke and mirrors to closet HL.. but since beginning of 2023 I’ve started observing the pattern instead of considering what was being said in the fandom and could see that HL cannot be together and all that being said was just the way of convincing themselves and others that they’re together.. it took me a year of going back and forth that may be there is a slight chance that they’re together still, may be it sound too much but its actually hurting to finally trying to grasp that is not the case.. I’ve very close person in my life since my childhood and we’ve been so close my entire life and because of family feuds which i thought wouldn’t phase our relationship has done just that.. she is choosing other people to spend time with and go on vacations which we both planned and it broke my heart multiple times.. am saying this because for quite sometime fandom was giving me peace but seeing harry moving on(not with what is showing with TR) and living a life without single care is hurting too.. i know you think louis does not care but this is what i saw and to think even last year or even in 2015 when harry tried to put on show and move from band and louis, i cannot even begin to think of what louis might’ve gone through.. with all the tough facade he seems emotionally very fragile guy.. friendships are equally important as relationships i know but relationships drain us emotionally more, to think that louis felt the heartbreak, to see his once loved one put all of this in louis face and he has to go through all of this is making me sad.. I’ve tried deactivating socials multiple times but i come back and it is still the same.. why it is always one person gets to hurt more than the other over and over..
I remember louis saying why it is always me and when would I win, i remember it suddenly and it just breaks my heart..
Am so sorry to say all this here!
Hi,
Thank you for your candor and sensitivity. I read this ask a couple of times to take it all in. I’m grateful that you trust in my blog enough to send it.
Often, I see that fans relate to the Larrie story because of our own circumstances. It is incredibly romantic to imagine that two very beautiful, very charismatic people are united in fighting for love, and for us, for our own desires and our sense of resolution or justice. Then you see all the fandom lore and it seems amazing that it all comes together, even the bits that seem like… well, improbable, maybe a bit of a reach… almost too good to be true.
What I’ve realized after a long time, is that none of what you see is unbiased. I have changed my opinion even in the last year, because as more information comes to light, we have to change our assumptions. Not to question you, but you assume that Louis is sensitive, and has been hurt by his “once loved one throwing it back in his face.” Maybe it feels hurtful and intense because you’ve only started to question the truthfulness of Larry. But maybe these events took place ten years ago. Maybe six years ago. It’s true that since 2018, Harry and Louis have barely spent any time in the same country. They don’t share acquaintances or friends or professional contacts. Harry is besties with James Corden and Ben Winston, who teased Louis in 2019 that they don’t even have his telephone number. Why wouldn’t they just ask Harry?
Maybe it’s been so long that Louis has already worked it out of his system. He wrote a whole album of personal disappointments and betrayals. He wrote Back To You and Miss You, and Walls and Habit and Defenceless. And there aren’t any such songs on FITF.
“You never told me never, I guess I never knew we'd have the shortest forever”
“Maybe if you'd taken more time/ I'd still be the one you wanna talk to every night.”
“I was lucky once, I could be lucky again.”
Assuming that there was anything to Larry at all, Louis isn’t sad about his past relationships. He’s moved on from blaming himself.
“Spent my whole life just thinking I had to change.”
And the whole concept, the title of his album is Faith In The Future. The Australia merch was so much fun because we finally saw that the couple on the merch graphics were not in a dystopian story. They find each other, they find love. (And the funny 369 manifestation on the clocks!)
“Love is only for the brave.” This was a difficult thing to say in Walls, and as if to illustrate it, the song was as short as we could bear. The church of romance had been burned, sacrificed— destroyed in the most dramatic way. Louis felt excommunicated, a lonely shadow.
Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy was a transition song, from broken beaks and dead birds to finding community and hope.
Heartbreak is the human condition. Despite it all, Louis opens his heart. He cries. He loves. Sometimes he loses. But to engage in love authentically means to take a real risk — not to be certain that you’ll be loved back or that things won’t head south, or that you won’t be betrayed, because we all know Louis’ history. Still, Louis “keeps his heart open.” That’s something to applaud and not pity.
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laprimera · 25 days
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posting at 11 PM cause cryptic hours why not. just a little further update that my semi hiatus is become more of a hard hiatus and I think Ill be taking my leave in early June. I was planning a big dash event to send off to but it's a lot of work to begin with between my irl shenanigans 🤔 Im now pivoting to a full time artist esp with trying to set up at vending spots and being active on socials to keep up with them darn algorithms and trends. I didn't want to make anything definitive until I noticed it's taking up like 70% of my time and craft fair season is upon me.
and Ill admit I wanted to leave the rpc earlier but oough im so attached to ya'll < 3 Ive been finding it a lot easier and a lot less stressful to rp through discord with pals where Ill be at. And although there wont be some big event send off I dooo wanna doodle something with some final summaries of what the plot was going to be to wrap Geeta (and the connected muses) up.
Im also deactiving muses starting from the oldest-not really used or forgotten about blogs to current after Im archived some headcanons, lore or silly posts I wanna keep. I wiilll be keeping geeta's up though even after I take my retirement. The name is gr8 and I guess this is as good a use for "laprimera" as it can get lol.
But Im not off tumblr nor am I completely done making headcanons, doodles and the what not. They'll just be on my main @shiny-miltank and peeps who have my discord can still grab me there to say meowdy or rp privately 👍
Meanwhile Ill be attempting to finish final plot points with peeps who've grabbed me for theirs (mostly on here, riley and briar). thanks for keeping up with me meanwhile ' v ' /
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plasmaapologists · 1 year
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[hey guys, @plasmaapologist admin here
not sure how seen this will be, but TLDR it seems my blog has been deactivated and i have NO idea why. in addition i havent used tumblr since middle school (im almost 21.) and had no idea you login with your email and not your username (who tf does that????) so my dumbass used a burner mail and. yeah there we go
ive submitted account recovery but it could take a few *weeks.* i might make a blank blog so i can look at posts still and keep up with everything going on but. yeah.
sucks ass bc this blog was a really positive force for me to do art and not feel silly posting it. if anyone has any advice PLEASE hmu
if all else fails ill have to start a new blog, i guess. it double sucks ass as i feel i was finally starting to build a little circle. fuck me.
crying in the club right now! - cassini]
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12percentspider · 6 months
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No you know what, I'll slap it together.
So our first bit of evidence comes from the new blog itself.
Now if you compare to the other insulin scammer I've looked at, this one acts a lot more like that paypal-jumper scammer from a while ago. About that time, though, I got an angry anon (lol) to mind my own business. Funnily enough, I had at the time assumed it was from the insulin scammer that was going around then, but actually, I may have been hit by "apollo's dodgeball"...
The cipher at the bottom of the reply?
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"But Spidermod, that doesn't-" Hold on. Let's get back to the current scam for a second. [And here's where I put a cut, because it's going to get long and very uh, "Charlie in the mailroom".]
So the first thing of note here is that it's the same exact scammer. But I didn't go looking up Key's post until AFTER I had found the old URL. I needed the url in order to do that. See, it turns out that my twitter investigation turned out a reply that upon donating, someone got harassed by money requests. The user denied this and claimed to be unable to do so. [Reminds me of someone!]
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I had a name to work with from the twitter and stumbled across this. Of course, the OP was deactivated. So uh, that's when I decided "I bet Key's got it archived". CORRECT. So if you look at the original version of the post with the archived "old paypal", a smashed-in version of the name given looks a lot like uh... wanngera.
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Which happens to be another scam blog that I tracked to a twitter with an extremely similar twitter-matching situation. It just so happens that this time someone called out the scammer for spamming, and I was able to see that before it was deleted. This previous one though, that went down really fast before there could be any further slip-ups.
So I think it was last Tuesday 11/7 when a blog had the exact same scam as the wanngeras blog up. I had not registered the url in my mind and there wasn't proof yet so I didn't make a proper post about it until I remembered it was familiar. I also uh, was out for the count that day. HOWEVER. The only blog that didn't have THAT good of proof yet was 'milkydonutsh'. //Laura admitted to being milkydonutsh.
Below link: LONG AS HELL but it has a detail that I further want to take into consideration. It's important and probably a helpful read but the whole thing isn't immediately relevant to this post, most of it is context at this exact moment.
So there was the "cancer girl that didn't get very far" and that blog was deleted very quickly. I propose that that particular blog was wanngeras. Laura's known for taking her crap to twitter.
I propose that since the widelys blog (also Laura) whose story mirrored a twitter I found and the fact that I was able to get the exact same situation for the wanngeras blog, AND the fact that the same thing came true for the current scammer... the current insulin scam is in fact Laura Deramas.
If you research/know Laura's general tactics/behaviors it matches up actually pretty well. To the point where even if anyone else were to admit to this [extremely likely not], they'd have to be absolutely hellbent on copying her for some weird reason or another, and I doubt anyone would attempt that.
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twillean-sparks · 3 months
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Hey! If you don’t mind me asking, why did you move to a new blog?
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[ID: another anon ask reading "Yeah but why DID you move blogs" /end ID]
Idk how to answer this and not make it sount like utter nonsense but,, a variety of reasons basically! Simple version: I just wanted a fresh start.
(Im gonna ramble a bit abt that under the cut)
Uhh I'll try and keep this.. not too long-
So like. I've changed. A lot lol. When I started my old blog I had never really used tumblr before (just here and there back in the old days) and I had come from Instagram, of all places, so I could branch out, connect with other artists, and just.. have a cool new place to share art!
I'd had my old blog since about *checks notes* October 2022, so over a year ago now. It's not that old for a tumblr blog, I know, but back then I started off posting magical creatures + oc art, and I had been doing the same thing on IG as well (with more traditional art and dragon sculptures but that's besides the point). It was tumblr that started influencing my art more, it was this very site that introduced me to fandoms as a whole!
I went from this:
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To this:
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And I'm really proud of that. Sure, I still cringe at my old takes and my old art. I mean, it'd be weird not to!
That's why when I decided to move blogs, I never even considered deleting my old posts, deactivating my old blog, or heck, even distancing myself from "Twillean" entirely. If I did, then.. what would even be the point of creating a new blog just to distance myself from it when I inevitably change?
(Oh, and I of course wouldn't want to just scurry off and leave my mutuals (moots/followers who are reading this pls know you mean a lot to me), or at least just pop up on a new blog that has no connection to.. myself as Twillean)
I moved Twitter accs recently as well, but for different reasons that I don't really want to get into, and i guess that was the final push? Idk.
But uhh,,,,, yeah. I have my reasons for moving, but explaining them without heading off track is much harder than I would've thought ig. Now I'm here and explaining why I moved blogs without really giving a clear reason. Sorry for that, I hope my inane ramblings sufficed for you both !!
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sugarcherriess · 11 months
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Hello guys, this is Adonis.
(TLDR at the end!)
How have you been? Hopefully you’ve been eating well, hydrating, and getting time to rest in between everything. I finally finished my semester and teaching hours for this semester so I guess I’m kind of free now? However, I realise that I’ve been too…I don’t know how to phrase this. But I feel like I’ve been working myself too much more than my body can handle both offline and online.
I’ve spent the past four months restless and sick, along with the already present mental exhaustion. And I desperately need a break. Additionally, fic writing has also been losing it’s charm for me. Instead of feeling excited about writing and posting here, I’ve been majorly feeling like I’ve been doing it out of “obligation”. Still, this is not a new revelation, you might have noticed I’ve been detached/sound distant from my responses since the start of the year.
That being said, I want to let you know I’m going on an indefinite writing hiatus (“indefinite” because i may get random bursts of creativity and write small blurbs). I will probably keep posting, reblogging, and interacting here. But the idea of writing a fic for any reason whatsoever makes me want to cry because I feel so exhausted both physically and mentally right now. This summer I just wanna shut off my braincells and go back to my roots of just reading mindlessly whether it be smut, fluff, or gut wrenching angst. Back to my bimbo Adonis roots, in short. I want to feel like I can be on this site without owing it something because it has started to feel like a chore even though I was absent for a while.
So, again. I’ll be here. I just won’t write fics for however long I see fit. I wanted to make this announcement because some of you might be guessing where I am and whether or not I’ll get back to the requests I had accumulated. Well, at least they can act as my cushion when I wanna start writing fics again so that’s good. Anyway, thank you all for the wonderful time you have spent with me and the amazing experience this has been. Unfortunately, turning my blog into an inventory of reblogs and asks for myself was the only solution I could think of that didn’t involve me deactivating my blog since i didn’t wanna make it over complicated like it was before.
I know this is a long ass essay but I had to make it clear where I stood when it came to this blog. I have precious memories attached to this blog, my mutuals and my anons (and also some two faced bitches I had the misfortune of coming across but yk we shmoov 💅🤲🏼) And for their sake I’m willing to stay in any way I can. But I’m just too babygirl to spend more than 1/5th of a braincell on this app xoxo
Thank you for your time and love my loves 💞💞💞
TLDR: Fic writing sounds like ass to me rn so this blog is probably gonna be my inventory for reblogging filth and begging jumil in the tags for a long time whilst answering anything you guys want to send in. In my horny hermit crab hours this summer yay!!!
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ghostboyjules · 1 year
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about me
omg tagged first by @mathomhouse-e and then right as I was abt to post this @wordsinhaled tagged me too!! so delighted and honored to be in this wonderful group of mutuals, y'all make my heart warm 💖🥰
Nickname: Jules, I guess, counts? other than that I don't really have a current one... @weirdfishy has been calling me ghostie tho, which I absolutely adore 🥺💕
Sign: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Gemini Rising (Cap Mercury, and if y'all wanna talk astrology my dm's are always open lmaaoo)
Height: 5'7 or 5'8 on a good day (a.k.a when my sciatica isn't elbow dropping me to death)
Last thing I googled: "piercing places" and before that, "images of a shrimp" which I'm including because I thought that was very funny
Song stuck in my head: surprisingly I don't have one up there right now?? well.. I guess kinda,, but it's like a mix of a couple. All Up In Your Mind by Beyoncé, Genghis Khan by Miike Snow, Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac, and In a Week by Hozier.. weird combo of songs but they're kinda cycling through my brain like a weird spirit box-esque radio station
Number of followers: 713 (😳, most of these are like, weird bots or deactivated blogs but still woah..)
Amount of sleep: hmm generally I get anywhere from 3-7 hrs, but as of right this moment (10:38pm) I've had 4hrs 36mins of Actual Sleep (from last night to when I woke up for work this morning) and then a 2 hr nap (before I started dinner this evening)
Dream job: Archivist of Some Sort™ in the Library of Congress,,, with a specialty in Thanatology?? I don't really know the specifics yet but something along those lines ig, if at all possible
Wearing: ..... a gray Cowboy Garfield t-shirt with the phrase "when I die I may not go to heaven. I don't know if they let cowboys in." and black underwear (THESE ARE MY PAJAMAS, OKAY? had to include the undies so you would get the Look™, I can't just say I'm wearing a t-shirt and leave it at that obvi... ajdjakfkg)
Movies/books that summarize you: my brain can't decide which way it wants to take this, so I'm just gonna answer with the Books/movies that I feel has shaped who I am as a person, currently. LOTR & the Hobbit trilogies, The Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater, the Conjuring (only the first one 🔪), Spirited Away, and The Labyrinth. OH SHIT almost forgot, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.
Favorite song: this changes daily 😐 rn tho I think probably Blood Upon the Snow by Hozier and Bear McCreary
Favorite instrument: Pipe Organ, Cello, Bass Clarinet, and the voice
Aesthetic: uh... weird goth gay uncle who is lazy and also a witch? is that anything?
Favorite authors: oof alright, well. Maggie Stiefvater, Neil Gaiman, Nora Sakavic, Gege Akutami, Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler), and a handful of Fanfic Authors that I won't list here because I'm terrified of forgetting someone, but know that I am absolutely counting them and will forever remember their names
Random fun fact: I really love playing guitar hero games but I've never once really tried to learn how to play the guitar
thanks again for tagging me, you two 🥺🥰🥰 y'all have already tagged a lot of the peeps I would have tagged in fandom (so if I tag you again, my bad beloved homies just ignore me lmao), but let's see here... @weirdfishy, @watermelon-mafia, @rabooots, @aquilathefighter, @leave-me-alone-doctor, @eel-divinity, @an-asuryampasya, @pacospandora, @rainbowvamp, @runningheadless, and @howlittleweare <3 WHEW no obligation to do this at all obvi, but if you don't, this is just a reminder that ily 😘 if you do tho, I also love you 💖 okay g'night, loves
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mediumsizedwildcat · 1 year
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Two Surprises For Eddie's Birthday
originally posted Jul 14, 2022 on my deactivated blog (mediumsizedwildcat)
masterlist | stranger things m.list
a/n: just a lil fluffy idea I guess? I have too many wips so here's another drabble before my head makes it into a full blown fic idea
summary: the freshmen of the Hellfire club and Eddie's newest friends thought he'd spend his birthday alone. when they decided to surprise him, it was them that got stunned.
cw: gender neutral partner for Eddie, love-drunk!Eddie, fluff, mention of alcohol
Eddie Munson x gn!partner
*MDNI
— ☾ —
It was supposed to be a surprise, something to better his day, so the freshmen didn't heed Max's warning when Lucas told her about the plan. They didn't even think there was a possibility Eddie wouldn't be glad to see them on his birthday. Plus, they got Steve to buy them beer just so they had a fitting gift for the metalhead. Their plan seemed flawless.
At least that was what they thought until Steve parked the car outside of Eddie's trailer, allowing the freshmen to take in the party decorations. Did Eddie plan something they weren't invited to?
Robin glanced at Steve as Dustin, Mike, and Lucas climbed out of the car. They had invited Jeff and Gareth, too, but they appeared to be no-shows, which probably was for the best.
Eddie skipped the stairs and jumped right out of the trailer, then stretched his arms over his head as if he just woke up. His eyes fell on the six people now leaning against Steve's car and his eyes widened as his lips tugged into a smile.
The moment got interrupted when someone screamed and jumped out of the trailer at Eddie, and the elevated height made both tumble to the ground. But the metalhead was quickly on top of that other person, attacking them with bites and kisses until they were a giggling mess.
"I told you," Max raised her eyebrows at Lucas adding a 'told you so' expression, "he's busy."
"Wha-" The three freshmen frowned, though it seemed as if Dustin in particular was rather... disturbed. "Are you kidding me?"
On the opposite, the giggles had died down and Eddie helped the jumper up to their feet. He pressed a kiss on their lips as his hands wandered into the back pockets of what Steve and Robin assumed to be Eddie's pants.
Then, the metalhead finally returned his attention to the five-plus-one visitors, a love-drunk smile on his lips. "What are you guys doing here?"
"It's your birthday," Mike blurted out, which led Dustin to elbow his side.
"Dude," Dustin lightly shook his head, then looked at Eddie. "We thought you'd spend your birthday on you own or with your uncle."
Max grinned, "And they thought that's sad so they wanted to surprise you."
"They made me buy beer," Steve added.
Eddie grinned widely, still love-drunk, "You brought beer?"
There was a small interaction between Eddie and whoever jumped at him before that person vanished into the trailer, which left Eddie with undivided attention for his friends. He smiled and came closer to ruffle Dustin's hair.
"Two surprises in one day, I wonder how I deserve that," he wrapped his arm around Robin's shoulder and looked at Steve. "You're gonna stay, right?"
Robin glanced at Steve, too, waiting for an answer like the rest of them. Steve rolled his eyes and nodded, "Fine, but I'm not babysitting."
"We don't need a babysitter," Dustin reminded him, but for Eddie, their chit-chat quickly faded into the background.
He skipped up the stairs, followed by the six visitors, though both Steve and Robin were smart enough to keep the freshmen from further following Eddie and instead entangled them in a conversation with Wayne.
It took a few minutes, but then Eddie came back out of his room, arm wrapped tightly around a person's waist. "Everyone," he high-fived said person to imitate a clap, "this is my partner. They're back from wherever they were needed and we decided that sleep's for the weak."
— ☾ —
don't forget to reblog to support writers & artists
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taeminnomuyeppeo · 1 year
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Wha??? You are back, OMG! 🥳 I was so sad when tumblr said you had deactivated and I tried to find out what happened for days and couldn't find any clue. Thought I had lost you for good 🥺 I am now all the more happy that it was just a tumblr fail and you are back 💕
oh no 😭 some of my moots posted about it but i guess not everyone saw 😔 i sent so many forms and idk what made staff finally respond and give me my blogs back but i almost couldn't believe my eyes when i woke up today and saw an email from tumblr in my notifs 🥲
i'm really happy to be back and i hope february has been treating you well! 💛
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aussiecb97 · 2 years
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this is a post that has honestly been a long time coming. i’ve been putting it off for as long as i can, but i don’t think i can put it off any longer.
i’m closing down this account.
at the beginning of my hiatus, originally supposed to allow me time to settle back into balancing full time study and part time work, i envisioned a short time to sort my life out and come back. a month, maybe a month and a half at most. that was until i figured out how taxing my final year of university was actually going to be, and how much energy it was going to take to just make it through every day. i had things in my life i had to prioritise - including my health - and slowly but surely coming back to the chatbot community fell further to the wayside.
the longer i left it, the more i realised that i just… didn’t want to come back. i enjoyed the writing, i enjoyed the creativity, but i struggled to find a reason why i had to do it on this account. i struggled to find a reason why i couldn’t just write for the sake of writing, why it had to be in a roleplay/chatbot setting. so that’s exactly what i did. while i’ve been away, i’ve been writing poetry, short stories, making progress on a story i started last year. i even posted one on my main account which did… way better than i expected it to. i’ve been working on creative endeavours outside of tumblr too, and in the time since i went on hiatus from this blog, i’ve begun to take incredible pride in what i do for fun.
i guess one of the reasons why i didn’t want to come back is because some of the toxicity i’ve witnessed within this community. that isn’t to say that everyone here is terrible and i hate them etc. it’s quite the opposite actually, i love all the creators i’ve befriended through opening this chatbot late last year. however, there is a vocal minority of people that by merely operating this blog i have become associated with. they are the people i no longer wish to be connected to, and are a part of the reason why i will be deactivating this blog in due course.
that isn’t to say i’m leaving tumblr, or that i didn’t enjoy running this blog. i left tumblr and came back already, it’d be a mission to do it a second time. as corny as it sounds, this blog taught me so many valuable lessons about my self worth, the important things in life, and what i want out of the k-pop tumblr community. i had a bit of an epiphany, i guess, surrounding tumblr and how none of this actually matters to my life. i’m not going to be remembered for this blog, i do not wish to be remembered for this blog, more do i have any intention of being remembered for this blog.
thank you for all your support. even during this time of inactivity, the notifications in my inbox remind me of all the people that took time out of their days to message me, interact with the posts i made. i’m sorry i wasn’t the best at responding back, but i hope this post gives you all closure.
aussiecb97 was (for lack of better words) for shits and giggles. and i had my fun. so now on to new shenanigans. if you want to follow me on my main account, it’s @misosick. come hang out.
- lily a.k.a admin 🪢
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mxpseudonym · 2 years
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I feel silly for asking, but when you leave, or "Leave" this blog will stya up and accessible? And you'll be on here still but just not post?
I'm just curious and a little worried becuse I adore it!! Everything this blog has!! And others who leave and archive it tend to deactiveate and then I can't see them or anything and there's been meny a good fic lost....
I just didn't know and I'm sure you already explained but I guess I'm a little?? Confused? I dunno, but I love your blog and hope I'm not bothering!
Hi there! I hope you're having a great weekend ✨
I won't be deactivating the blog at all. I'm going to write a final request and then update the master list so everyone has easy access to all the fics here! When I say leave, I just mean I won't be posting here anymore, fics or just random reblogs.
And since it's still an active sideblog for me, I'll be able to answer messages too. So yeah, it'll still be here, I'll just be posting about different fandom on different blogs now.
Thank you so much for reading and caring to send this message ♥️
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frzngrapes · 10 months
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30/07
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My dear Keycie,
I spent the night unfollowing eating disorder and self harm related blogs on here, I logged out of my edtwt account and I deleted my thinspo Pinterest boards. I deleted MyFitnessPal, my weight tracker app and my fast tracker app. I came across a lot of triggering content at once and it was very long but it was necessary.
I have 500 followers on that twitter account, which isn't a lot but is more than my main Instagram's follower count. So it technically used to be my biggest social media platform. I started it two years ago and I don't think I logged out for more than two or three weeks ever since then, but now I'm gone for good. I'm not deactivating it even though I know I should, I feel there are too many important things there. It was like a diary to me, and I would share literally everything. Sometimes looking up words like "friends" "mom" or "crush" on it is fun, because I can find all kinds of different and contradictory stuff I posted during the past two years. I just feel like I should keep this archive.
Also it's a kind of "box situation" like I wrote about some time ago. I know a few months after writing about this I opened the box again. And it's still somewhere in my room even if I don't feel like using it at all. Maybe I'm just not strong enough to completely let go... But I think not having the account and the tumblr tags and the calorie counting apps on my phone is a good first step. I hadn't done anything as significant for my recovery as this in the past two years. Which, come to think of it, is a bit ridiculous. I've attempted to "recover" in the past, but never deleted the weight loss related apps from my phone before, maybe without admitting it to myself I was kinda lying about being dedicated to getting better. But maybe this time is the one right time where everything works out and I heal for real. The day I wrote about in my first ever blog post under the cherrysletters✿ tag.
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I was listening to music when unfollowing the edblr accounts and Teen Idle by Marina came on and I fucking cried. Because it hit me, the fact I was suicidal, making myself puke and phased out all the time at age 16. I should have been, idk, having fun. Why did this all happen to me ? This was all so unnecessary. I remembered the fact I didn't think I would turn 17. I went back to what I wrote on here on my 17th birthday and I cried. It's not often I feel sorry for how I treated myself, but rn I really do. I guess I finally really snapped out of it. Not saying I will never be destructive to myself ever again, or that I am completely cured of whatever problem I used to have... It's just that I somehow only now realise I'm not sixteen anymore. And that me proudly fueling my ed was a long time ago, me actually planning on taking my life was a long time ago and now I'm eighteen and this is pretty much over, so I can sit back and think "Shit, that was a lot".
My mother being abusive towards me is over as well. Two months ago she apologized, admitted it was all very unfair and that I didn't deserve it. This is such a huge change in my life, feeling comfortable at home. Because since I started high school, I think what made me cry the most was my mother's word to me, or remembering them or remembering that she used to hit me. And I cried in front of her for it, a lot, from when I was 15 when I started realising it was messed up, to not long ago. But she never apologized before that day. In conversation I brought up the fact that the first time I opened up about being suicidal, she told me to go ahead and kill myself, and she said she didn't remember saying that. It really sent me spiraling I snapped yelled and cried and told her everything I had on my chest, and later she told me she was sorry for everything.
It brings me a huge sense of relief, for her to admit that she did something wrong, just like when during the 2021 gay pride some guy from my high school I seemingly didn't know came up to me and apologized for bullying me. It's like- a proof it actually happened and actually was wrong and not just me making shit up in my head.
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I'm saying all this because now that I don't feel pain at home, don't self harm and try to eat normally, I can almost say I'm finally free ! "Almost" because I don't want to jinx it, and because I know my wellbeing works in waves of ups and downs. But like for now I feel like I can enjoy life without having to worry about a big dramatic thing. And I guess that gives me the space to reflect on what life was like not long ago, and that's why I cry. I don't have to cry about whatever's happening right now so get to cry a bit about how hard high school was, then I can move on and be happy for a bit.
xoxo, cherry 🌸
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