Do you have any hcs on how old some spm characters are?
(I love your posts btw!)
1- i do have some, i won't say all of them since- well, damn.
2- thank you!! it made me genuinely happy <3
Age Headcanons!
Lila: 37-40. Some people thinks she's way younger by how good she still looks.
Skid: 8. No reason at all.
Pump: 7. I can't unsee him younger than Skid for some reason.
Jaune: 33-36. I don't think she's as old as Lila since even on that photo with Bob and the other she's smaller than Lila.
Kevin: 21. Just got his adult phase and is struggling to recompose his life.
Roy: 13. People say he's like 15 or 16 but no way he's that mature.
Ross: 13. Not really THAT mature, just quieter.
Robert: 14. Yes he's too ""innocent"" and doesn't give two shits if he look like his age or not.
John: 40-45. Dilf.
Jack: 42-47. Just a silly man.
Frank: 45-49. So uhh I know he's older than John so I'm basically going by logic there.
Bob: 70-80. He's SO FUCKING OLD-
Dexter: 22-25. Seems mature enough but way too careless to have that many years of experience.
Patty: 32-35. Don't even ask me, I have no idea why either.
Radford: 20. You can't tell me otherwise, no way he's an old guy-
Rick: 30-33. Definitely older than Radford and Kevin, also by the way he acts.
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This is a very real SM theory
What I've stumbled across this time is, I'll admit, completely batshit on the face of it.
BUT, if you follow my flow of logic, I think you'll actually be more convinced than you'd expect
So, what is it that set my theorist mind off?
Well, the character we knew we were meeting this episode, Aaron (which is apparently the name of Ross's dad in that model sheet)
We only see him twice (and no, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you, his tattoo changes what arm it's on between scenes) and in those scenes, he's mostly silent and is notably not paying attention to Jaune, despite her talking with their obviously distressed shared friend in the first scene and is separated from Jaune by the cinematography in the second scene.
From what we've seen of Aaron, both in this episode and the TT photos, he isn't very expressive, but he still shows his feelings through movement, or rather, a position in the photos, something absent in his present self.
So, what, if anything, lead to this seeming slight rift between Aaron and Jaune?
Well, we could assume it was something after Ross's birth, but could we narrow it down further? Yes, yes we can, mainly due to the first bomb I'm about to drop on you.
Jaune is a cult spy
Yes, I'm dead fucking serious. Let's look over the way the cult operates, shall we?
They carefully monitor anything related to their plans while other members are on stand by, should something go wrong. How does this tie to Jaune?
Simple, she's the one keeping tabs on Lila, Ignacio does live closer, but is so abrasive, he could never get close enough to someone for intimate spying. Jaune on the other hand, as Lila's best friend, could theoretically keep tabs on certain aspects of Lila's life.
The next obvious question is why. Why would Jaune spy on Lila for a cult? Well, she wouldn't.
She would, however, keep a close eye on her friend if someone else close to said friend, like say, said friend's husband, expressed concern for her emotional well being.
I know I'm probably losing some of you now, but this is where we get to another insanely counter intuitive yet convincing claim.
Jaune isn't spying on Lila because Lila's husband asked her, she's spying on Lila because she doesn't want Lila to know that-
Jaune had an affair with Lila's husband
I KNOW, I KNOW, I sound like Dale from King of the Hill right now, but I swear to you, this will all click together by the end.
Picture this, Jaune, a heavy drinker, is over at her friend's house one night when Lila's husband starts coming onto her and you know what happens, this goes from a one off event, to a semi-regular ritual for the pair.
Some time later, he tells Jaune that he's worried Lila might catch on, and encourages her to carefully pay attention to any sudden mood shifts and.... share them wit ha trusted associate of his.
So, now that I've established the logic of this happening and that it will likely come into focus at some point, but what does this have to do with Aaron's detachment and how could it come into play?
It's not just that Aaron knows Jaune cheated and will reveal it to Lila, no, it's so much worse.
But first, I have to dispel some fanon for a moment, despite how popular the concept is, we have no in or out of series proof that Ross dyes his hair, the only photo of him we see is him and Aaron with Ross looking just as he does at present.
Why do I bring this up, oh my poor unsuspecting friends, it should be clear. If Ross has naturally black hair, that would mean-
Ross matches the genetic profile of Jaune and Skidad's biological child
And there you have it, the dark underbelly at back of the newest instalment in our beloved Halloween series.
And, if by some chance, you still don't believe this theory of Ross and Skid being half-brothers to be at the very least valid, well then, I have something that will blow your fucking mind.......
.........
And I'm not telling you cause it's 'Pril Fools Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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