#sitting in the bathroom crying now

[latinxfeels]

Love it when I’m ridiculed for showing passion during the discussion of politics 🫡

This idea that politics and any discussions surrounding important topics such as Zionism, genocides, racism, classism, and anything that might bring discomfort needs to be sterile and completely dispassionate is absurd. The inclusion of empathy and compassion and anger and sadness and joy are what enable us to talk about these things and to realize that what is happening is harmful and the denial of these feelings is simply another form of silencing. It is basically saying that if there is feeling attached then the point being made is irrational and therefore incorrect. Whatever facts, empirical or otherwise, are immediately discredited due to the tone of voice or facial expression that might be present.

Also, it’s another way of closing off conversation from people. If you can’t hold a conversation without being ridiculed, then people are less inclined to speak about it. I understand that important conversations are uncomfortable and must be so to be productive, but it can be disheartening to constantly experience disrespect, even though we know that conversations must keep happening.

I’m just sensitive though, so what do I know.

#like #my point must be invalid simply because I became angry or raised my voice or teared up or my voice wavers #politics should not be cold or dispassionate #there is room for feelings in politics #feelings write! #anger and happiness and sadness and confusion should and do actively exist in political conversation and should not be tampered #was talking about #palestine #with my brother and his boyfriend and my dad and they’d find amusement in my frustration and would tell me to calm down every time #I’d call them out and suddenly I was the one being irrational about the belonging of emotions #it was uncomfortable but necessary #sitting in the bathroom crying now #I need advice #this keeps happening when I bring up the topic and it isn’t getting better #no matter how hard I try to be calm or collected

[pucciverse]

i love you t shot and t gel i love you estradiol i love you gender affirming surgery i love you trans people who don’t medically transition i love you trans people who don’t conform to gender norms i love you trans people who find comfort in them i love you transmascs i love you transfems i love you non-binary folks i love you radical acts of self love i love being trans i love being trans I LOVE BEING TRANS

#quietly sitting in my bathroom and crying as I give myself my shot this morning #im feeling too many things to properly be able to put them all into words right now #but i love being trans I love being trans #TDOV #busy beez #edit: this is not meant to be an inclusive list if you ID as trans in any way I love you

[wantbytaemin]

girls i think we might need therapy bc why did i just break down sobbing at the thought of being loved and not left

#it was genuinely sitting on the bathroom floor fully sobbing moment just now #it’s just like: my family doesn’t like me and everyone’s left me and i bent over backwards to please them and i never could #my dad and my sibling don’t talk to me anymore #and i don’t talk to my mom so often unless she needs something like money or a favor #and i just thought of how wholly my friends love me and it’s making me feel SO much that i can’t do anything but cry about it #and we got matching tattoos and i don’t think they’ll leave #i have gigantic issues with being left alone and unworthy of love it’s unbearable to me. OH man why is being a person so complex!!

[shmothman]

well. today was harrowing.

#a short timeline (cw for emetephobia) #woke up. went to cvs to get my new meds. took said new meds. #went to work. ate breakfast although I was already feeling a little nauseous #just thought I was hungry bc I didn’t eat enough last night #nope. was counting copepods. realized I was gonna puke. #puked in the public restrooms of the biology building. #gross. #felt better. worked some more. ate a small lunch bc I was still a lil nauseous. #got dizzy. thought ‘damnit here we go again’ #did not puke. instead: felt dizzy and faint. #this is familiar to me. i have passed out before. #I get to the ground with my water bottle in hand. knees to chest. deep breaths. #this is lasting a lot longer than it usually does. #coworker realizes I’m pale as hell sweating on the floor #other coworker has more first aid training. sits by my side and helps me out of my flannel bc I am Sweating Profusely. #vision finally starts to clear. #now I am in terrible stomach pain. #double over and try not to cry. #once i can stand again: coworker helps me to bathroom. #in there for A While. #I lived bitch. #still shaky. coworker drives me home. #Bathroom. #I am NOT taking those meds again tomorrow. #this has been: sef’s fucking medical history post or whatever #Jesus.

[rosehxnt]

conflicted

#uhhhh #tw pet injury #i’m mad but i’m not supposed to be mad #bc she ‘didn’t know what she was doing’ #so i can’t be outwardly mad #but you hurt a cat #she hurt a cat #the cat is bleeding #her entire leg was trapped under A COUCH YOU WERE SITTING ON #i’m fine i’m calm #i’m totally not in the bathroom venting in the notes of a tumblr post #but facts are facts and you hurt a cat and i’m supposed to be not mad at you #and i’m the one sitting here questioning if i can leave her in the house alone with the pets #and i wanted to cry #but i wasn’t allowed #and if i show up crying now #i’ll look like the bad guy #but her fucking scream #i never wanna see a cat like that again #cats shouldn’t have to go through that #and i’m not okay #anyway #time to go have dinner and act like i am

[theflyingfeeling]

I wish all my weed-smoking neighbours a very fuck off just fucking fuck fuck fuck off I hope you choke on your own shit!!!!!

#i may be overreacting i may be tired i may be whatever #but i for real just started crying in the bathroom because of this situation lmao #i'm so sick of the smell creeping in every evening #now it was also in my bathroom and it made me so nauseous i wanted to puke #it's the middle of semester i don't have time to start looking for a new apartment let alone move 😭 #contemplating going to sit in the staircase of the building and just. scream #don't worry about me btw that's not even the stupidest thing i've cried about this year lol

[milo-is-rambling]

Me vs outlining a perfect plan for my day in my head which I can be the only one allowed to change the schedule vs my mom asking me to do 2 simple tasks

#she was like hey can you take the trash out I was like ughhhh okay yeah give me a min (I was still ordering weed) #my mom less than a minute later : hey if you want to break down all the cardboard out there I’d appreciate it Me: actually I’d rather not I #was about to shower right after I put this weed order in #then she gets all pissed at me bc I never do what she asks and blah blah blah blah blah #like. girl. I know she can’t see in my brain but I was not awake last night watching cleaning videos and psyching myself up for a day full #of cleaning my room and showering and doing laundry and cleaning funks cage and doobs cage and making my bed and dusting my ceiling fan and #taking apart my box fan to clean it and cleaning the water pitcher in the fridge and deep cleaning #like GAH I HAVE SO MANY PLANS TODAY WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DO NOTHING AND JUST SIT ON MY ASS SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP #ripping my hair out and screaming banging my fists on the floor #I literally was like yeah I’ll take the trash out no I will not break down boxes right now and she went off on a whole fucking thing like #just shut up. #I hate it. why do I make plans in my head of the exact order I have to do things and if one person suggest doing anything differently or #pushing my schedule back further than I wanted to myself I get so annoyed I explode into a ball of flames #I wanted to shower dry off pick up weed let out funk refill the humidifier clean the bathroom mirrors throw sort and clean the bathroom #shelves sweep start a load of laundry clean off my desk which means cleaning and organizing my closet or my desk dresser thing to fit the #crap on my desk and I have to clean and reorganize the space next to my desk so I can fit my boombox there bc the humidifier took its place #next to funk and like I want to just cry why does everything have to be so fucking difficult for me why is everything simple for everyone #else and for me every simple task is composed of one million baby tasks that I have to do in the correct order forever or everyone around m #will think I’m stupid and dumb forever like WHAT THE HELL WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE IN MY LIFE WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DO THING #IN WHATEVER ORDER AND IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT DO YOU MEAN A 20 MINUTE SETBACK DOESNT COMPLETELY RUIN YOUR DAY #AHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT #BUT INSTEAD. I WILL GO TAKE THE TRASH OUT. AND NOT BREAK DOWN THE CARDBOARD BC THAT MEANS GETTING MY KNIFE AND MY HEADPHONES AND PUTTING MO #CLOTHES ON WHICH IS COUNTERINTUITIVE #TO THE WHOLE ABOUT TO TAKE A SHOWER THING #UGHHHHHHH #I am the worst human on the planet and I deserve infinite suffering #fuck this whole thing I’m pissed I’m gonna listen to music and rage clean after I pick up weed and shower

[lupismaris]

I am not strong enough to raise a kitten who needs to learn socialization someone help me

#this child is going to be so fuckin attached to me ill never be able to leave the house. im gonna have to back pack and harness train him. #he was human tolerant in an hour and now cries when i leave the bathroom. i had to put him back after enrichment swaddle so I could eat #and hes been crying for ten minutes. just pitiful wailing. Marlowe is sitting in the kitchen with me looking at me with disdain #like he thinks this is my fault. and hes unimpressed. #Marlowe is already v attached to me but can manage on his own cause hes about to turn 6 he was 2 when we got him yknow #he was somewhat self sufficient but had since become very attached and doesn't like it when im gone too long. likes to know where i am #benny? oh Benny is gonna be a whole other ordeal

[lovecrazedpup]

just had one of the worst cries of my life i think

#going out soon but idk im just so full of anxiety n everything sucks #ive been throwing up since like 3am too bc im so anxious #like i fucked up last night and it hasnt left my mind #n then i have to join a discord and get interviewed and play a game that i find terrifying bc itll make him happy (first world problems ik) #and now i have to go out to lunch today #which would be great but !! #my jeans are a tiny bit tighter than they usually are which means i gained weight !!!! i havent eaten today so its not bloating !!! #and then i went into the bathroom to look at myself and i saw how bad my eyebags are so i went to put on makeup #but i looked fucking stupid so i took it off and now im just sitting here kinda bawling over how ugly i am #i fucking hate it !! im so disgusting #im so tired i just want to kms and cut #how am i meant to talk to him when i cant stop crying and how am i meant to go outside like this #like im never gonna post my face here but u guys rlly dont know how gross i look #god im gonna meet him in like 4 months dude i fucking cant hes gonna find me so repulsive im going to cry #wtf do i do im so fucked nothing is going to save me #hes just gonna spend like 3 days with me probably fuck me and then just leave me i fucking know it #its so over man its so fucking over someone just run me over with a car #jamie.txt

[leolaroot]

libre office crashed and deleted everything 😂 HOW AWESOME

#he was sitting at home frustrated i hadnt come over yet because i was waiting for him to call me like he said he would so i came over and #we got like varely any more done and libreoffice crashed and now im hiding and crying in the bathroom #this has been stressing me out all day it has been the only thing on my mind for three hours i want to throw up

[canyonroads]

I'm litterally so depressed and idk how to keep going lol

#can not sleep more than a few hours at a time #was overeating now ive swung back around to undereating #dont even get me started on how hard showering has been #but every single simple task is just a nightmare and i keep freezing up #can barely be present to help my partner function let alone function personally #i cant stand it i just want it to stop #i feel it too physically. not sure if thats always been true but #its like an actual weight on my chest like someone is sitting on me and I cant breathe and I cant function #and i wanna kms not even necessarily suicidally but just so this will stop #litterally crying in the bathroom at 4am cuz Im so tired and frustrated #also if we are friends and you want me to reply to you?? lolol good luck im so sorry youre gonna get it the worst

[septembersghost]

i have experienced the full possible range of human emotion in the past hour i think, but honestly if the universe decided to balance out the scales and be a little softer, i can only be grateful. i'm saving this just because...there isn't a way to succinctly explain why the fob collab is as special as it is to me, or the memories speak now holds (coming out right when i was starting to recover), or the vital feelings attached to all this. and people think i'm silly when i say music is an actual force in my life and spiritually, cosmically connected to everything

#and so good right now just started on shuffle haha #tell the girl losing her whole life to illness and severely traumatized by a ruinous relationship #sitting in the bathroom wondering how many pills it would take #and stopped by the (after) life of the party #about what happened today and i guarantee you she would also cry and laugh simultaneously #cowboylikedean #jess.mess #thrown out speeches

[erythristicbones]

stands up for myself in an incredibly polite and not at all rude way and then immediately tries not to sob my eyes out over it

#mild vent #okay the context is someone who keeps sitting by me without asking at my gfs coffee shop #and in general being lowkey rude + occasionally more than i can handle #so i politely was like 'hey can you ask b4 you just sit here in case im having a bad anxiety day' #and she left without a problem and it was chill #but dear fuxking god is my anxiety now spiked to all hell and im convinced im somehow the asshole for setting boundaries #especially since last time i had to leave and cry in the bathroom #bc i told her i couldnt handle being social that day and she still wouldnt stop talking to me or sittinf there

[likelylarks]

xx

#there’s a shower here at church #and i just want to climb in fully clothed #and turn the hot water on and sit there #and cry and maybe drown #and go to sleep forever and ever and ever #but i can’t do it bc there’s gonna be an event downstairs #after the service #and the bathroom with the shower is downstairs #so people would hear and it would be an inconvenience for everyone if i died while they were trying to party #but i would really like to die right now

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

so turns out my brain was not chilling out on interpreting being around other people as a constant threat and it was just waiting for another trigger to come back full force

#i went over to babysit as i usually do in the evening and the mom was like ‘yeah [oldest] was throwing up a bit this morning but he has no #fever or anytbing and he’s been fine the rest of the day’ and i wouldn’t be surprised at all of this was just a little kids stomach #deciding to turn over and not any sickness. but now im shut down sitting in my bathroom and trying not to cry #i trust the mum a lot she’s studying to be a nurse practitioner right now and she’s incredibly covid conscious. but the kids go to school #and daycare because her husband works from early in the morning and comes home at about 8 at night and she can’t get her doctorate and take #care of three kids. and while their family might be careful the other kids at daycare might not be at all #and im just. exhausted. break ends in about three weeks and im not ready for this year #i know im going to end up losing it again but i just wish i could step out of my house without feeling like im under attack by breathing #vent tw

[g0reoz]

.

#idk man like i've been in pretty rough shape lately but it's hard bc. as bad as it is #i don't want to die. i am not suicidal. like. we've been past that already the problem is that i DO fucking want to be alive yk #and to do that i have to burn all this fuckin energy being someone my parents don't hate and like #i wanna get out. i know it'll happen eventually. but it cannot fuckin come soon enough #i'm so tired of this!!i'm tired of sitting there crying in the bathroom i'm tired of lying in general like i am So Bad At Keeping Up A Fron #t and yet #here we are. here we are #and then i feel stupid for complaiing because not much is Actively Happening to me right now which like!!!! thats the point. it is not happ #ening because i'm slowly killing myself trying to not lwt it. i fuckin hate confrontation. don't wanna deal with it. #but. fuck. i really want to just tell em sometimes!!! i want to fucking explode and i know that my likelihood of being alive and well would #drastically decrease and my future would be fuckin OVER so i just have to make it a little longer. #i know i can do it. but will i. will i fuckin do it #how am i gonna not burn myself out yk!? like it does take massive amounts of energy #i don't even know. i want someone to tell me they love me and mean it. that shouldn't be too much to ask. #especially because this empty bullshit hurts just as much as someone saying they hate me. because they do!!! #that's the thing. they love me because i am not all the things they hate and threaten violence over. #which tbh. isn't me at all. #feels bad man idk #.woof.