#ive been throwing up since like 3am too bc im so anxious

[lovecrazedpup]

just had one of the worst cries of my life i think

#going out soon but idk im just so full of anxiety n everything sucks #ive been throwing up since like 3am too bc im so anxious #like i fucked up last night and it hasnt left my mind #n then i have to join a discord and get interviewed and play a game that i find terrifying bc itll make him happy (first world problems ik) #and now i have to go out to lunch today #which would be great but !! #my jeans are a tiny bit tighter than they usually are which means i gained weight !!!! i havent eaten today so its not bloating !!! #and then i went into the bathroom to look at myself and i saw how bad my eyebags are so i went to put on makeup #but i looked fucking stupid so i took it off and now im just sitting here kinda bawling over how ugly i am #i fucking hate it !! im so disgusting #im so tired i just want to kms and cut #how am i meant to talk to him when i cant stop crying and how am i meant to go outside like this #like im never gonna post my face here but u guys rlly dont know how gross i look #god im gonna meet him in like 4 months dude i fucking cant hes gonna find me so repulsive im going to cry #wtf do i do im so fucked nothing is going to save me #hes just gonna spend like 3 days with me probably fuck me and then just leave me i fucking know it #its so over man its so fucking over someone just run me over with a car #jamie.txt